When you find the love of your life, you want to do your best to work through any hardships and hold on to them.
But finding the right one takes time.
Many of us have had to kiss a few toads and learn from those past relationships to know what to look for in future partners in life.
And then there are those who realized what they were looking for were those who had been in their lives already.
"People who ended up with their first crush, what's your story?"
The feelings were mutual, but sometimes Cupid has to shoot his arrow to nudge things along.
"Trying to sum up a truly long story..."
"First grade, love at first sight. For me. Not her."
"She moved schools in 7th grade, I was devastated. Thought I'd never see her again, but it was a small city and I was not a smart boy."
"Mutual friends and interests saw us become good friends in high school. Good enough for her to bring me to her prom, but not enough to have a romantic date."
"Through college and after, we'd keep in touch and hang out during holidays back home, but life went on until my second college stint, dating another woman, I was hit with the need to tell her how I felt. Not to get together with her, but just to get it off my chest. She knew I liked her but not to what extent. She was having a bad time at school doing her doctorate in geology. For obvious reasons, my relationship with the other woman failed."
"Damn, this is getting long."
"That January, we got together to watch movies. I was nervous to tell her, so I kept pouring her wine. Turns out, she was nervous to tell me she had been having feelings for me for a year, so she kept drinking the wine. Her dad, laying on the floor watching the movies with us, was oblivious to everything."
"We're finally alone, she says something, I blurt out, 'WAIT, ARE YOU HITTING ON ME?' And we spend our first night as a couple with me holding her hair while she puked."
"Married in 2006, now have two amazing kids and she doesn't drink. ...as much."
The Object Of Her Affection
"We met in band when I was 10 years old and I was immediately both terrified of and obsessed with her and couldn't quite identify why- over the course of middle school, the fear kind of faded- I definitely had a crush, but was fairly confident she'd never see me that way and I decided I would just try to be her friend. I definitely made a fool of myself in front of her a few times, but I tried to stay subtle about having a thing for her. At the end of 8th grade, she mentioned offhand that she was interested in someone, and I pestered her about who it was until she finally told me that it was me. Once the complete and utter shock wore off, I asked if I could hold her hand. That was 10 years ago and I plan on asking her to marry me later this year."
If your crush is meant to be your partner in life, then there should be no rush in getting together, as these couples have experienced.
The Right Time
"Uk based story."
"School trip to Longleat, a pretty blond girl on the back seat of the coach caught my eye... but I was shy when I was 14. It was ok though, I'd caught her eye and her friend told me to sit next to her."
"We dated on and off through school. I always had a crush on her. Then she wasn't there any more. I now know that her dad had got a job in Hong Kong. The plan was for her to do Olevels and she'd been accepted into the RAF and the England Hockey summer camp, so she had things lined up. But her mum decided at Christmas that she wanted to be in Hong Kong too... and by new year 1985 had emigrated with her plans and exams ruined."
"When I was 17 I got a job at the local supermarket for spending money. I was behind the cheese counter. I saw her come in, I was mortified, in my white coat and plastic trilby, so I hid in the fridge."
"I assumed she was back in town... but I didn't see her again. I thought about her often, spoke about her to my best mate wondering where she'd gone"
"I went on to my normal life, had kids etc."
"She went on to an extreme life, she'd had to steal money to run away from Hong Kong to England, with just a Teddy bear - and as it turned out, no money to get from Heathrow to Liverpool because someone stitched her up bouncing a check. Luckily the CEO of British Caledonian had seen her on the airplane and was walking past when he realised she was in trouble. She was eyecatchingly beautiful.... he got a driver to take her to Liverpool."
"She went to art college, but a friend died of drugs and felt she might go the same way, so she left there.... but then lived a life of homelessness, suffered much violence, and a full on drug fueled party lifestyle. Although also some great highs - she counted pop stars and artists as friends, ate at top restaurants and stayed in top hotels."
"When I was 40, its 2008 now - freshly divorced, very broke and in a bad way mentally her name popped up on Facebook."
"We met up... she had also thought about me in time apart. We moved in together, and have been married for 8 years and are very very happy."
"I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn't hid in the fridge. I dwell on it sometimes. She has largely got over the worst parts of her early life and had successfully quit drugs in 2000 so I didn't see the party girl. But her scars remain and that saddens me when I think about it."
Guy With The Waist-Length Curls
"We met our first day of high school in 1996. I sat behind him in third period English. He had gorgeous thick waist-length black curls that my hands just itched to play with. We had a few mutual friends, hung out in the same group during lunch. Most of our classes were coincidentally next door to each other, so we ended up walking from class to class together every day. Those five-minute walks became the highlight of my life that year."
"Obviously I had the biggest crush on him. I was nowhere near confident enough to tell him in high school or, for that matter, during the following thirteen years as we navigated the awkward transition into adulthood. We drifted in and out of each other's lives like best friends do at that age, but we never lost that thread that connected us. After we graduated, we met at a local diner every few months, drank bad coffee and debated Kantian ethics late into the night. (We've never quite seen eye-to-eye on the Germans, still don't). He was my confidante, the only person I could share the deepest parts of my soul with. That intense schoolgirl crush faded over time into something that felt a little more like a bottomless pool of affection and respect."
"Fast forward to 2009. I was 27. I'd just ended a six-year relationship six weeks earlier. I was emotionally adrift that summer. I certainly wasn't ready to start dating again. I called to wish him a happy birthday; he said if I wasn't doing anything, I should swing by his parents' for a slice of cake and champagne. I drove across town to find most of his guy friends helping him move his things into his parents' garage. His fiancée had called off their four-year engagement on his birthday."
"Later that night, after everyone else had gone home, we laid on his parents' driveway staring up at the stars. I asked him why he just walked away without a fight when she gave him back the ring. He said: 'Because I won't risk losing my window again. This is the first time since high school you've been single for more than five minutes. I love you. I've always loved you. I'll buy you a ring tomorrow if you say yes.'"
"I said no."
"He asked if I'd go out on a date with him. I said no, I wasn't ready."
"Then he asked if we could go get coffee at the diner. I said yes."
"As we parted again at sunrise, he kissed my forehead and said, 'There's no expiration date on that proposal.' We started dating three weeks later, moved in together two months after that. Somewhere along the way, I realized 'bottomless pool of affection and respect' is the mature way of saying 'love of your life.' We got married on our fifth anniversary, barefoot in my parents' living room, in a thirty-second ceremony officiated by my father. August will be our 7th wedding anniversary and the 25th anniversary of the first walk we took together."
"And for the record, he still has waist-length curls and I get to play with them anytime I want now."
The progression of relationships like these come naturally without any pressure.
"We met in middle school. Became really good friends, dated for a week as you can date in middle school. We broke up and dated a few other people. Two weeks into high school I told him to come keep me warm at the high school football game. He's been doing it now for 30 years. Three kids together now. Love every day with him."
The "Dead Weight"
"She was the only gay girl in school. She had a beautiful bob with waves in it and the sweetest green eyes. She ended up in my bio class so I had an excuse to get her number. Thousands of texts later, she said she liked me outside English. I was floored but obviously said I did too because I would stare at her endlessly. After the best first date that closeted 14 year old me could muster up, we kissed. We started dating and I brought her home at 16. My parents were so excited and threw us a party because that's what happens when your parents are hippies.
She's amazing at soccer and got a scholarship. I followed her and we moved in together. I'm dead weight to her. I can't cook, she cleans, and she never gets angry. I have actually burned water before, am a horrible cleaner, and am frustrated 24/7. She never asks for anything and thanks me for the bare minimum. Every day, I want to improve for her because she's so amazing. Both 20 now and never been better. My first kiss and my last <3"
I know a few couples who were high school sweethearts, and they remain happily married to this day.
I find those relationships particularly endearing because they have known each other the longest and have been through many challenges in adulthood together.
But I don't frown upon those who had to spend time alone before finding the love of their life. Because no one should ever have to settle when it comes to sharing a life together.
Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
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Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
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People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.
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It's not easy to always do the right thing.
Which is why most people don't usually do the right thing. Doing the right thing involves a lot of thought, empathy for others, and a self-awareness of your place in the world. You're not making a choice just for yourself, you're more often than not doing it for someone else. This, in itself, presents a difficult hill for most people to climb so, usually, they feel it's easier to make the selfish choice.
Doesn't mean people always do. They can surprise you sometimes.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
What's the hardest moral decision you've ever had to make?
Even when the choice amounts to something small, it can still matter to someone else.
How Dare You Make Me Morally Astute?!
"This is small potatoes compared to most of the people on this thread but many years ago I was travelling and had very little money. I went to a stall at a market, handed them a 10 dollar bill. Item cost 5 dollars but instead of handing me a five dollar note, the handed me a 50."
"I was walking away from the stall when noticed. My first thought was BONUS. But I had lately been hanging out with a bunch of people who were really into karma. So I stormed back to the stall, slammed the 50 down on the counter and told them off for making me make moral decisions. Lady behind the counter was like "ahhhhhh, thanks"
Didn't Believe The First Time, But Can't Deny Visual Evidence
"I told a co-worker his wife was cheating on him. It ruined our friendship for a good amount of time, until he caught her himself."
"To bad he couldn't just believe you."
Owning Up To The Mistake
"Fessing up to an error I made at work that cost the company 5k. I was a manager and misinterpreted a sales promotion. I almost lost my job, this is the one time that telling the truth actually saved me. It's true what they say that the cover up is usually worse than the crime. Lesson learned.."
Doing something morally correct when it comes to family can be tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ruffle the feathers of the people you're going to be related to for the rest of your life...which is how family works.
On the other hand, do the right thing.
Making The Best Call For Your Children
"Removing the mother of my two sons out of their lives completely as she was unfit and abusive while I was on deployment. They were 3-4 years old then and now they are 17 and 15 with their mother never attempting to come back into their lives which I would prefer at this point."
Because They're Going To Be Sad Later...
"My grandmother died, and I lied to my parents about it."
"My grandparents were 95 and my parents hadn't had a vacation in 30 years. So when she passed away with only 5 days remaining on their vacation, my family decided not to ruin it for them; instead, we'd plan the entire funeral and if my mother wanted to make adjustments when she returned, we'd arrange it for her; there was nothing they could do to get her back."
"Having to decide on the DNR (do not resuscitate) order for my father who had been victim to a massive stroke..."
"I know millions have done it before and millions will again but to me it was devastating....."
"As a health worker, you did the right thing by your father. I've come across families of patients who keep them alive for their own peace of mind while the patient themselves is tired and in alot of pain mentally and physically from the constant treatments and would rather rest from it all. Don't feel bad for your decision."
Never doubt your actions when it comes to protecting children.
"Calling CPS on a student's family after she begged me not to. CPS did an investigation and she was pissed at me for months until the vice principal had a talk with her and explained that I only did it because I care and didn't want her to get hurt."
"That VP is awesome. I sat in his office while he coached me through the call, since it was my first time calling CPS."
Standing Up For Your Friend, Even When No One Else Will
"I was in high school and my best friend was being bullied on the bus. She brought a knife to school and had previously mentioned a list of people. I cried a lot when I went to the principal to turn her in. I knew I was ruining her life but I wanted her to get help. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because we were all just kids. She was expelled and forced into therapy. We had been friends since we were 11."
"My mom listened on the phone line when I was trying to comfort my friend (while absolutely not admitting it was me) and my mom jumped on and told her I'm not allowed to be her friend anymore. I had told my mom I had turned her in and she had no empathy for this girl. Because I had been bullied and stood up for myself and never "did anything like that". My friend was getting cornered on the bus by 4 people whereas I was normally taunted in public and was lucky enough to always have an upperclassmen or school employee around to help me out. I felt guilty about turning her life upside down for many years but would do it again because she did get help."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/