Fed Up People With Food Allergies Reveal How People Snuck Food Into Their Meals to 'Test' Their Allergies
Fed Up People With Food Allergies Reveal How People Snuck Food Into Their Meals to 'Test' Their Allergies
[rebelmouse-image 18349298 is_animated_gif=If someone says they have a food allergy, just believe them. Don't test them. Don't try and prove you're smarter than their food allergy. You're not. As proven by when tcp-45 asked Reddit:
Here are those infuriating stories.
Almond Lies
[rebelmouse-image 18349299 is_animated_gif=My brother is allergic to tree nuts. My aunt thought he was lying because he'd eat things with peanuts in it.
Several times she brought foods with nuts in them to Christmas get togethers. Never bothered my brother much he just didn't eat them. This pissed her off, so once she make this big plate of chocolate chip cookies. My brother eats about 6 of them. About 20 minutes later he's hacking and coughing. Epipen benedryl and a trip to the hospital later my aunt finally tells us that she used almond flour because she knew he was making it up.
Cedar Closing!
[rebelmouse-image 18349300 is_animated_gif=My "best friend" at the time didn't believe anyone could be allergic to cedar. It makes my eyes itch and burn then swell shut. She thought I was probably just being dramatic because I didn't like the smell or something. I was spending the night at her place and she brought me some blankets... as soon as I wrapped up in them I realized something was wrong, they reeked of cedar. Her mother kept them in a cedar chest and she thought it would be no big deal. She quickly changed her tune and then apologized profusely once my eyes started to swell shut and I had to call my folks to come take me to the ER in the middle of the damn night.
Disguised By Malice
[rebelmouse-image 18349301 is_animated_gif=My mother in law, and not a food.
Fabuloso cleaner is the only thing IN MY LIFE i have been allergic to. My husband's b-tch mother finds out. I'm very pregnant and she brings me a TON of my husband's baby blankets, books, etc. All very well kept.
All cleaned in Fabuloso. Now, the issue is it's not cartoon-level insta-hives. It takes a while. Enough time that i have possibly eaten or touched my face.
To this day she isn't allowed to bring items into my house.
Lady Tremaine
[rebelmouse-image 18349302 is_animated_gif=My mom didn't believe my little brother when he told her that he's developed an allergy to bell peppers. That night, she made salad and diced green bell peppers into the salad so that he couldn't see the tiny green cubes. Within minutes, his throat swelled and he developed hives all over his face and neck. My mom told him to stop being dramatic as he was coughing and gasping for air. I grabbed my epipen from my bag and injected him as he began to faint while my mom screamed at us for being ungrateful brats who refuse to appreciate the food she cooked for us. We are both no contact now.
Suffer The Consequences
[rebelmouse-image 18349303 is_animated_gif=I'm lactose intolerant and my girlfriend's mum just assumed I'm a fussy eater (which I'm not - at all)
So she made a delicious leek and potato soup, with fresh cream.
I had 2 bowls it was so nice, 20 minutes later I'm bloated as hell. 20 minutes later I'm farting like a trooper.
She kept asking me to leave the living room, I politely refused.
She hasn't done it since.
Attempted Murder
[rebelmouse-image 18349304 is_animated_gif=I have a couple of different major allergies. Two of them are...odd. As a result most people think I'm just pulling their leg. I have an allergy to Cocoa (aka chocolate) and the tobacco plant.
My mom's side of the family was brutal people. They fed me chocolate laced breakfast foods and candies without my knowledge, but since I was so small when they discovered by allergy...I hadn't had enough chocolate to know what it tasted like besides pain. I just knew my mouth would tingle, my throat would feel tight, and that I would throw up not soon afterwards.
My mom figured out these 'throwing up fits' would happen ONLY around her family, she asked them to stop.
...they didn't.
So one day my Aunt gives me a full-sized hunk of pure dark chocolate. I go into a full reaction and I still remember her freaking out when I dropped/started changing colors and calling an ambulance. No I don't remember the ride and apparently my oxygen went down so much by the time the ambulance got there that any longer and I would have suffocated. I was stomach pumped and traced and left in ICU for a couple of days because my lungs couldn't handle it and breathing was a nightmare.
Just Believe Your Friends
[rebelmouse-image 18349305 is_animated_gif=Cilantro. I guess my reaction would classify as an intolerance and not an allergy (i.e. no anaphylactic reaction) however a friend thought I was lying and put some in a salsa she made to see if "I could tell". Oh, I could tell alright I could tell as soon as my stomach started to swell and I started to feel very nauseous. Showed her by throwing up all over her bathroom. Sucker.
How Now? No Cow?
[rebelmouse-image 18349307 is_animated_gif=My parents, to an extent.
When I was a small child, I stopped breathing when my parents moved me from breast milk to baby milk (cow milk). I stopped breathing, and was rushed to the hospital. The doctors told my parents that I was 'likely' lactose intolerance, and to just be careful to dairy.
My parents continued to feed my dairy.
When I was around 18 I was eating so much dairy daily. I was also constantly on the toilet, and constantly vomitting. I didn't see the link.
Went to the doctors. They did some simple tests.
I now avoid dairy, and I am perfectly healthy. My parents still think I exaggerate.
Whoops!
[rebelmouse-image 18349308 is_animated_gif=Not exactly tricked, but... I had a coworker with a severe dairy allergy (had to carry an epipen and everything). She was leaving the company, so on her last day I brought in a huge batch of vegan brownies. Typically when I make that recipe I use soy milk, but I had another coworker (B) who had a soy allergy, so I used almond milk instead. Coworker B took one of the brownies after confirming with me they were totally soy free, but came back about ten minutes later, asking if I was sure there was no soy in the brownies. She was clearly having a reaction, so I panicked and started listing off all the ingredients I used in the recipe. When I mentioned the almond milk she said, "Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm allergic to almonds, too." She ended up going home for the rest of the day, and I am still baffled that someone with allergies that severe wouldn't verify the food she was eating was free of all her allergens.
Rightful Punishment
[rebelmouse-image 18349309 is_animated_gif=My own Father. I'm allergic to mushrooms, he didn't think that was possible.
One weekend day when I was 14 it was my turn to cook dinner. I made bolognese sauce and left it to simmer on the hob while I went out to play with the dogs. Whilst I was out he secretly cooked a few mushrooms, liquidised them, mixed them into the sauce, then hid all the evidence. You couldn't see them, smell them, or taste them. I ate the dinner, and when two hours later my guts began to protest I was so confused, I made the sauce myself! There was nothing bad in it! Everyone else is fine! It wasn't until the next morning (after everyone had to listen to me emptying my entire digestive system all damn night) that he finally admitted what he had done. It felt good listening to my mum shouting at him for hours, and she made him scrub the entire bathroom with a toothbrush once I was finally out of there.
Mexican Come-Up
[rebelmouse-image 18349310 is_animated_gif=I'm allergic to avocado. A lot of people think I'm lying because I don't like it. Guacamole is delicious, but unfortunately makes me violently ill. My sister in law thought I would "change my mind" if I had avocado in the right context. She gave me a burrito with guac which I stupidly ate by the campfire so the green avocado color looked like queso. I vomited. A lot. For a long time.
"Vanilla"
[rebelmouse-image 18349311 is_animated_gif=I'm allergic to coconut. None of my friends believed me and thought I was just bullshitting them and that I just didn't like coconuts. They bought a chocolate cake and a "vanilla" cake for my friends birthday. We all got to chowing down and when I bit into the "vanilla cake" I immediately recognized it as having coconut. I spit out what I hadn't swallowed but it was too late. Throat started closing, mouth started burning and tingling and my saliva became extremely thick and stringy. My friends reactions were just "Oh. I guess you're not lying". I flipped them off then slowly sipped water for 2 hours while I waited for my face to stop itching.
At Least He Wasn't Tricked
[rebelmouse-image 18349312 is_animated_gif=My wife, who is an otherwise supportive and wonderful partner, refused to believe I have an allergy to pistachios. She said it's because I am too nonchalant about diving into a bowl of nuts then later asking if there are pistachios but at this point I kinda just know from glance if there are.
Anyhow, we were at a nice place for lunch with her family and ordered a meat and cheese board. I didn't even consider that a pate would have pistachios until my second bite and I saw them. My wife, slightly "justified", said "see, you aren't allergic!"
Thirty minutes later I was in the emergency center, my entire body broken out and trouble breathing and swallowing and she was crying. I was trying to calm her down while attempting to swallow and not die, feeling if I did pass I didn't want her thinking it was her fault. One giant shot in my buttcheek and a very calming nurse helped out.
She later got mad that I didn't carry an EpiPen with me but, she forgets, I am a dummy when it comes to that stuff.
Skin Contact
[rebelmouse-image 18349313 is_animated_gif=I have a strange allergy that most people don't believe. I'm allergic to mint/menthol. Anything that is supposed to give you that nice "cooling" sensation just feels like burning fire and makes me swell and itch (no anaphylaxis, but just really uncomfortable). Its in toothpaste, facewashes, deodorant, candy, hair products.
I had a friend, and as young teens do, she decided to wash my hair and give me a sleepover "spa day" sort of thing. We washed each others hair in the kitchen sink, cucumbers on the eyes, candles going. She has heard me many times say I was allergic, so I decided to trust her. But, without telling me, She decides to use her mom's fancy peppermint shampoo thinking it wouldn't be bad.
Suddenly, relaxing spa day turned into a Michael Jackson Pepsi commercial. Next thing I know I'm writhing around trying not to tear my scalp off while I'm screaming at her "what did you do?! What's in this?!"
She kept telling me that is was good stuff and her mom uses it all the time! Moms never had a problem.
The remainder of spa day was spent with my head running under cold water until the benadryl kicked in. I also get adverse reactions to benadryl so instead of sleepy I get HYPED. The rest of that sleepover was me sitting like a 16 year old on cocaine trying to watch a movie by pacing back and forth behind the couch patting my thighs to the beat of everything that was happening in the movie.
Not a fun sleepover
Take Us Seriously
[rebelmouse-image 18349314 is_animated_gif=I know it's popular to hate "gluten free" people right now, but I legitimately cant consume gluten because I have celiac disease. There's definitely a threshold for my allergy but I'm not totally sure where the line is. I'm usually fine eating, for example, fries from the same fryer as onion rings, but if I eat an actual piece of bread I'll get headaches, stomach aches, and probably throw it up.
Anyways, the summer after high school my friend got me a job at this Mexican restaurant she worked at. Everything came in bagged/frozen except the green chili which we made in house. Every time I start at a new restaurant I make it a habit to learn what allergens are in what dishes because I take that shit seriously, and I also want to know what I can eat safely. This restaurant had all ingredients and allergens for everything listed in a binder so I read through it and saw that the chili was actually gluten free.
Every day at work I would get a plate of rolled chicken enchiladas on corn tortillas smothered in green chili, but after a few days I started feeling sick. It started with headaches, then stomach cramps so bad I had trouble focusing at work. I messed up orders, had to constantly take breaks, and generally was miserable. In the middle of the night or in the mornings I would wake up throwing up, but this being the restaurant industry no one would let me call in sick. Eventually I threw up in the bathroom while at work and they sent me home. I was out for two days, but I couldn't figure out what had made me sick because I'm careful about my groceries and everything I had eaten at the restaurant was supposed to be gluten free.
When I got back I was talking to my friend (who by the way had not checked up on me at all) about how confused I was with the whole thing and she starts f-cking laughing. Turns out she didn't believe I had a real allergy and thought it would be funny to prove I was faking it, so she got the cooks to add flour to the chili. Obviously I was f-cking pissed, she had essentially poisoned me and who knows how many other people by adding the flour. What is wrong with people?
They Can Also Develop
[rebelmouse-image 18349315 is_animated_gif=With me I didn't develop any allergies until I hit 21. I can remember grabbing a bag of peanut m&ms and within a min I knew something was wrong. I had never had a reaction so it was really scary and unexpected. I was tested and did in fact develop peanut allergy on top of a few others. My family and bf didn't understand that it is possible to develop allergies later and life. So they would push peanuts on me as if I was lying. I loved peanuts wtf would I lie. Just a few months ago am idiot coworker made brownies. Said no peanuts. Yup there were peanuts. It's scary and people shouldn't take it lightly
Believe. Us.
[rebelmouse-image 18349316 is_animated_gif=I have some pretty wacky allergies when it comes to mold and fungus, so I can't eat mushrooms. Because of this I'd never been exposed to green bean casserole, which uses cream of mushroom. My roommate asked me one day if I liked mushrooms, to which I replied I was allergic. She asked me if I was just saying that because I didn't like mushrooms, and I told her I wasn't. People with food allergies get that question a lot, so I didn't think anything of it.
This b-tch proceeds to serve me green bean casserole, and long story short I wind up in the ER with my entire body feeling like it's being bitten by bloodthirsty mosquitoes. Needless to say, I moved out, and didn't pay her a dime for rent or utilities. I told her she was lucky I didn't sue her or call the police. Looking back, what she did was tantamount to attempted murder.
Exotic Doesn't Mean Unallergic
[rebelmouse-image 18349317 is_animated_gif=I am allergic to a couple of exotic fruits from my home country and to some cleaning products. There is a housemaid who has worked for many years for my family and I adore her she's pretty much like family now buuuut she never believed that I was allergic to these things.
She thought it was just me being complicated, so more than once she didn't bother to tell me the juice she made had the fruits I was allergic to. Luckily my allergy to those fruits it's rather mild and aside from a red face and a burning sensation on my face nothing happened but still.
What annoyed me the most is that more than once my mom gave her the money to buy specific products that we knew wouldn't give me allergies and she refused to buy them claiming that other products were cheaper and that she was just helping us to save money. At this point she was just being a stubborn! My allergy to cleaning products is heavier than the one to the fruits. I normally sneeze and cough a lot, get red, feel a burning sensation, get itchy and my eyes get extremely blurry but she still thought I was playing. Eventually my mom had to tell her off and she started buying what we told her to buy.
It's Not A Joke
[rebelmouse-image 18349318 is_animated_gif=I'm celiac, so I can't digest gluten. This causes hives, eczema, vomiting, bloating, acne, alternate sh-tting my brains out and painful constipation, and being in a mental fog for up to several weeks after exposure, because basically my small intestine is eating itself and all of my antibodies are attacking everything. Because it's currently trendy to eat a gluten-free diet but the majority of those people don't have a gluten allergy or intolerance, a lot of people don't take it seriously. People think they're doing a favor by lying to me about whether something has gluten in it or not, or saying "just a bite won't hurt!" but it really f-cking will. I can't even count the number of times people have glutened me because they think I'm on a trend diet. It's not a f-cking joke.
Raise Hell
[rebelmouse-image 18349319 is_animated_gif=I'm allergic to limes. Other citrus doesn't bother me- just limes. I'm a bartender and so things suck sometimes but I'm usually okay. My allergy developed after I had started bartending. At first it was just a mild skin allergy but I could still drink it. Then it started getting worse. I'm at a point now where even a small sip of a drink with lime will set off a reaction in my throat. It burns- very badly. And the hives. My god, the hives.
I usually have to remind friends and family when they're trying to make me drinks because it's not a common allergy and I'm almost always okay.
I can't have my favorite drinks anymore when I go out because most places don't have the ability to make me a margarita with lemon instead of lime. (Most pre mix their juices or whatever, maybe they're lazy and just don't want to do it) Fine, it's not a big deal, but I always ask anyways on the off chance that they can.
It's not really just that though- I can't trust people at other restaurants and bars anymore. This one told me she could make a margarita with only lemon- I super stressed I can't have sour mix or anything- it MUST only be lemon. She said it was no problem because they had fresh squeezed juices and it was easy to accommodate me. She f-cking used sweet and sour mix and when I started drinking it, I took a big sip and could tell immediately when it hit my tongue. She had a smug look on her face until I started reacting right there. My boyfriend raised f-cking hell while I was trying to get the reaction to stop.
I should have pressed charges but didn't because I was younger then and felt like her being fired was enough. I still wonder every so often whether or not she learned her f-cking lesson.
It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.
With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.
Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.
Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.
Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.
Always making for a memorable story.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
People Who've Had A Serious Illness Describe The Exact Moment They Knew Something Was Really Wrong
As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.
However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.
Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.
Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.
It all started when Redditor thelearner18 asked:
"People who have had a serious disease (cancer, MS, organ failure, etc) when did you realize something was really wrong?"
A Lesson Learned
"Hust found out i have rectal cancer. 42 yrs old. multiple stools per day, not fully emptying, thin poop. so got a colonoscopy. bam! cancer. starting chemo next week. lesson learned for everyone....if your stools or stool schedule changes, go see a doctor"
– shawngee03
A Lucky Break
"I had been having a lot of pain in my midsection, and all around my torso for several weeks. I went to the doctor and it was dismissed as gynecological cramping (menopausal?). It remained. After several weeks (6-8) I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to emergency in the middle of the night. I got a CT scan that showed a large kidney stone. They also found a mass on my ovary. The kidney stone lead them to finding a rare ovarian cancer. If not for that stone, I wouldn’t have known about the cancer and might not have caught it in time. I have been in remission since September 2021."
– peachsqueeze66
Cause For Concern
"My kid, who was 14 at the time, kept throwing up in the morning and having weird headaches. Her doctor thought it was migraines. She went back a couple of times, but the doctor was not concerned. Then one day she complained of a whooshing noise in her ear. Went to the children’s hospital and found out it was a brain tumor near her cerabellum. She was in ICU for a month, but turned out it was non cancerous and it never grew back. She is doing great now."
– Evilelfqueen
"I heard a whooshing noise in my ear a few years ago I only really heard it at night when it was quiet it would sometimes switch ears now I basically never hear it. I'm pretty sure it was just pulsatile tinnitus but still scary."
– fallen-summer
It Was The Salt
"I have Cystic Fibrosis (terminal lung disease) and it was found out when I didn't sh*t for 3 days after I was born and then my mother gave me a kiss and said I tasted REALLY salty."
"Now I'm on a gene modification drug called Trikafta and this is some serious witch craft a** sh*t because I no longer feel sick to death and I basically feel like a normal person. It's f*cking wild!
"Went from 19% lung function to 87% in 3 months. I no longer cough my a** off or feel like I'm suffocating from mucus. Go science!"
– Sudden_Blueberry_477
A Funky Optic Nerve
"I was diagnosed with MS when I was 22 after having blurred vision in one eye after a ski trip. I went to the optometrist and they said I had a dry eye probably from not wearing goggles while snow boarding. So they gave me steroid drops. After a week it kept getting worse, so I went back and they told me my eye looked much better so they did a field of view test, which showed I couldn’t see anything out of the lower half of one eye. They sent me straight to the emergency room since nothing was wrong physically wrong with my eye. They did some tests and I was diagnosed with MS and ended up going completely blind in one eye. My vision eventually came back and I got on medication within a month so haven’t really had any symptoms or issues since thankfully. I’m only 29 now though."
– johnjohn9312
Caught It In Time
"This isn't me, but this happened to my best friend VERY recently. Like in the last couple of months."
"Was perfectly fine and healthy one day. Then the next he started feeling a little bit of pain in his kidney. He'd had kidney stones before, so he figured it was that again. Then he started peeing blood. He thought it was still part of the kidney stone thing so let it go for a couple days, but he was still peeing blood and the pain was getting worse."
"That's when he decided to go to the doctor. They did an X-ray and found a mass in his kidney and told him that based on where it was located they can't remove the mass, and they can't do a partial kidney removal, and it's about a 90% chance it's cancerous, but they wouldn't be able to do a biopsy without removing the kidney first. They did the whole insurance dance, but it went fast and within two weeks he was in surgery having his kidney removed."
"He's still recovering at home right now, but they got the biopsy results last week. It was indeed cancerous, but they caught it before it spread."
– SweetCosmicPope
Happily Ever After
"I couldn’t walk anymore with my crutch I had been using to get by. Had Been on Percocet for 8 months because of the extreme pain. Nobody was finding answers to my pain but I knew something was wrong, badly. After finally having an ultra sound on my hips at the age of 26 I found out I had to undergo a double hip replacement to walk again due to a serious rare disease. I was stage 4 Avascular Nercrosis. Took a year to recover from both. But Happier ending, I’m doing good now. However it was very very upsetting news to get over a phone call at 26."
– heartpathetic
It Really Sneaks Around
"My wife started getting numbness in her right arm. The breast cancer had spread to her right shoulder and the tumor was crushing the nerves. She has stage four breast cancer in her bones."
– zenos_dog
A Turn For The Worse
"For me, it started May 14, 2014. I went to work and was having a good morning. Then, at about 9:00 in the morning or so, I started to feel some lower abdominal pain. Not to be crude, but it felt like that cramp you get when you really need to go to the bathroom. I did so, but the pain didn't go away. It got worse. I started to feel chills, was sweating, and felt nauseated. My employer has a clinic on site, so I went there. After some poking and prodding, the nurse asked me if I wanted to go home or if I wanted to go to the emergency room. I decided to go home, and if the pain didn't subside, then I'd go to the emergency room. As I was saying that, though, I noticed that my pain had gotten a LOT worse. They always make you rate your pain on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being no pain at all and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. When I went into the clinic, I was mostly uncomfortable, maybe a high 2 going into a 3. On that very subjective scale, I was now a 6 or a 7."
"I changed my mind and decided to go straight to the nearest emergency room. My boss drove me, and by the time we got there about 15 minutes later, I was now a 10. This was the worst pain I'd ever felt. My previous definition of the worst pain I'd ever felt was when I broke 7 bones in my wrist, it was misdiagnosed as a sprain, and I had to have them rebroken 2 weeks later. The pain in my abdomen was now worse than that. The emergency room admitted me and put me in a wheelchair. They wheeled me to a room, I curled up on the bed they put me in, and passed out."
"At some point, a nurse came in and gave me some morphine. Great stuff. No pain at all anymore. A doctor came in and told me they suspected a kidney stone. He wanted me to get a CT scan to confirm it, and I agreed. An orderly wheeled me off to imaging. I got scanned without contrast and was wheeled back to the room. My wife had arrived while I was getting scanned. Shortly later, the doctor who told me he thought it was a kidney stone came into the room. With another doctor. And two nurses. They all crowd around me with solemn looks on their faces."
"The first doctor told me it was a kidney stone. A 2 to 3 mm kidney stone had been lodged in the ureter of my left kidney. That's the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. It passed into my bladder when they gave me the morphine, but they could see evidence of it on the CT scan. Then the other doctor said they were more concerned about the 6 cm mass they found on my right kidney. They had my attention."
"They did another CT scan, with contrast this time, and it was impossible to see anything but a tumor in the pictures they showed me. They made an appointment for me with a urologist for the next day, as well as an appointment in a few days time to get it biopsied. It was an after-hours appointment for the urologist, but he was nice enough to stay late to see me. He looked at the CT Scans and cancelled my appointment to get it biopsied. He said there was nothing else it could be but cancer, and the kidney would have to go."
"Two months later, I had the kidney and the tumor removed laparoscopically. I was incredibly lucky. They caught it in stage 1. The doctor said there were signs it was going to start moving soon. I have no idea how doctors can look at a softball sized lump of cancer and tell anything other than 'gross', but that's why they're the doctors and I'm not."
"My recovery was smooth, and I've been cancer-free for 9 years. I was incredibly blessed. I didn't have to deal with chemo, or radiation. While those can save your life, they are also horrible experiences with nasty side effects. I didn't have to deal with any of them. I was bracing myself to have to. They said it was a possibility. But I didn't. I have every respect for those not as fortunate as me, and wish them all the best in recovery."
– mnementh9999
Reason #5,622 To Start Exercising
"I started jogging again to try and get back into running shape. I kept noticing that just after a mile or so, I'd stop and get REALLY lightheaded. Kept thinking, "oh, I'm really out of shape" and kept going. Went in a few weeks later for my annual physical and doctor said "you ever been told you have a heart murmur?", no. Two months later I spent Christmas of 2017 in the ICU after having a section of my aorta cut out and a new valve put in. Surgeon said it was bad. Said it wouldn't have made it too much longer."
"Edit: for clarification, it was an aortic dissection."
– Itsawlinthereflexes
Slow And Steady
"My dad's friend went on a hike with a doctor who knew him and he was winded not far from the car. The doctor clocked it right away and told him to get his heart checked. He had 98% blockage in his heart arteries."
"He tells my dad so my dad gets the test to see how his arteries are doing and they found a massive aneurism on his aorta. He is getting it removed tomorrow. He had no symptoms but the doctors said if he had overdone it he would be dead before anyone would even know what was going on. Crazy how a random friend's hike may have saved his life."
– Pencilowner
It Takes A Village
"I never did, my teacher and parents did."
"I was seven, usually an active kid and my first grade teacher noticed that rather than running around at recess I sat down and took a nap. It happened a couple more times and after I fell asleep in class (totally out of character), she gave my parents a call, we had been visiting the doc fairly regularly cause I was also complaining of joint pain and frequent ear infections combined with the new symptoms and a new doc at the practice I was finally diagnosed with leukemia."
– greenmachine11235
Thank goodness for that teacher (and of course, the parents)!
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Ask everything.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.
But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.
Redditor overIorded asked:
"What went wrong with your last partner?"
History Repeating Itself
"He cheated on me. And I was glad because that was finally reason enough to allow myself to leave."
"Now I know somebody who's in the same situation. They're trapped. And she's such a gentle and fun person who's afraid to leave him because 'well, it's always been like this, I'm used to it,' and 'I deserve it.'"
"She wants to leave him, she knows she should leave him, but it's so hard to do it, and I know that feeling."
"I'm thinking I should give her my phone number like when the day comes you've had enough, I'll gladly come to help you move out from that s**thole."
- NmlsFool
Mental Health Struggles
"I'm lost in my own trauma and mental illness and he deserves better than anything I have to offer right now."
- Last-Celery7146
"I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and mildly said, it absolutely ruined me. Her trauma and mental problems were BAD, but I still wanted to be with them. So if you ask me, as long as they can give you the space and support you need, and want to be with you, let them make the decision."
- emilersen
"It's also fair and mature to care very much about someone but realize that you only have the emotional bandwidth to take care of yourself right now."
"I'm sure it was very hard for both of you to come to terms with that decision. I don't think it's that he deserves better, I think it's that your attention needs to be on guiding yourself through this thicket of trauma and mental illness before you can be someone else's partner. You can love each other very much but also acknowledge that you don't have the tools to spare for a relationship right now."
"I'm proud of you for focusing on your own mental health and someday, when you have more emotional stability and energy, I hope you find a wonderful partner."
- SpoonAtKnifeFight
Relationship Styles
"We disagreed on how many women he was allowed to date. I’m very strong on monogamy and have no interest in someone (in a supposedly committed relationship) that isn’t."
- Altrano
At Least There's That
"Her psychotic brother tried to kill me. Thankfully he has a Stormtrooper's aim..."
- Active-Plate7939
"Hate the attempted murder, love the 'Star Wars' reference."
- letmetellyousom
Childfree Living
"He wanted a big family, like, six kids, all-natural. Obviously, he wouldn't be birthing them. This was very important to him while I was pretty ambivalent about kids, and the further into my adulthood I've gotten, the more I've realized I just don't want to be pregnant."
"I broke it off so we could both get the lives we wanted. He was also quite a bit more conservative than me, and at the time closeted pansexual person, and some stuff he believed just didn't line up with what I believed. It hurt, but it was amicable."
"Now he has a wife and kids like he wanted, and I am happily partnered and childfree. It worked out for the best."
- Free-Government5162
Family Ties
"She hated that I had a healthy relationship with my family and was trying to find ways to sabotage it."
- Cobra-Serpentress
"Similar aspect to mine, she hated my sister and mother because she had a bad relationship with her sister and mother. She would get mad at me whenever I brought my family up."
- letmetellyousom
Quality Time
"My last boyfriend dumped me because I got mad that he was coming to Dallas after I hadn't seen him for two months, but didn't want to see me."
"He was going to meet up with some friends of his he hadn't seen in a few months. I told him that was fine with me, but I felt he should make time to see me too since we hadn't seen each other in two months and we were supposed to be a couple."
"He responded to my anger by ghosting me. That was two years ago."
- dallasmysterylover
Distracted with a Punch
"A girl contacted me about him talking to her. I asked him what was going on, and he sucker-punched me in the face."
- Brilliant-Victory128
Projecting Insecurities
"He cheated on me for all six years we were together and then accused me of cheating on him, even though I wasn't allowed to leave the house."
"I'm also pretty sure he slept with my sister-in-law when my brother and I went to pick up dinner."
- Affectionate_Egg1252
Children Come First
"He was and still is no father to his kids, has anger issues, and probably has other mental health issues. I tried for years to help him and help the relationship, but he wasn't having it. After seeing how my oldest suffered under him, I had to leave."
- rintan13
Poor Communication
"I communicated how I felt about many things in the relationship. He never communicated about anything."
- aj_oof0323
"Oh look, it's the last 14 years of my life..."
- empathetic111
"I'm guilty of this, and boy, do I regret not being able to open up about my feelings. It cost me my marriage. But now I'm trying to be more open and share my thoughts and feelings. Just wished I could've done this earlier than later."
Deserving Better
"I started drinking again and became a miserable a**hole due to my own depression and my s**tty job. As such, she didn't get the attention she deserved, and had to put up with my s**tty mood all the time... so she left. I don't blame her."
"So, it was me. I don't know if I trust myself with a relationship again, but aside from the shame of knowing I hurt someone who I loved, and loved me back, but I was too self-absorbed and selfish, I am trying to be a better human to everyone."
"And to my ex: You'll find someone again... someone better."
- cracksintheegg
Big Moves
"He wanted to move to Alaska to be with some girl he was 'friends' with before me."
- dont_be_trash
Alzheimer's Disease
"My ex's early-onset Alzheimers (at the age of 50) and the resulting violence, paranoia, and irrational thinking. I tried to honor my vows, but he was so far out there, I feared for my life."
- No_Transportation258
Different Definitions of Marriage
"She cheated on me after five years total together, the last one of which was while we were engaged. She cheated on me for months, all while I was planning the wedding, working part-time, and going to graduate school so I can support us comfortably in the future."
"I planned on giving her everything I could and sharing the rest of my life with her, and apparently she didn’t care."
- Mountaingoat1001
This conversation just goes to show that relationships can end for all kinds of reasons. Even in relationships where there is still a lot of love and committment, the relationship can still end, just like how the relationship can end suddenly because of a surprising and devastating realization.