Fed-Up People Share The Dumbest Things They've Ever Heard

Knowable
NicolasMcComber/Getty

We've all had those moments when someone says something so off the wall we have to make sure we heard them correctly.

Reddit user Uncle-Wes asked:

What is something that someone said to you that is so stupid you thought they were joking?

Here are some of the best of the worst.

Exactly the Same

My sister and I were at my dads house for his birthday dinner. My sister had brought her kids-my 4-year old niece and 2-month old twin boys. My sister was exhausted, she had hardly slept in the last 2-months and coming to dinner was the first time out of the house in awhile. She looked like crap, but was happy to be there with lots of family to take care of the kids for a couple hours. My step-monster, who has never had kids, asks her Are you tired? She replies Uh, yeah. the pregnancy was hard, I had complications from the c-section, they are not good sleepers or eaters, Im always breastfeeding one of them, its been a very hard couple months. Im always taking care of one of them. Step-monster replies, Oh, that is hard. It sounds like when our dog was a puppy and we were kennel training her. Everyone turned to look at her, mouths agape, including my dad. She wasnt kidding. My sister says Yup. Its exactly like that.  ToeSchmoe

Satanic Silverware

The spork is "the devil's utensil" because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society.  -eDgAR-

Pinterest

Exotic Dancer

My coworker really believes that if a stripper is paid for sex than theyre not prostituting themselves because theyre a stripper.  himynameisx12

Most Bestest

We were in English class and this guy is really trying hard to debate something with the teacher. Probably some Oxford comma shit or something. Anyways he said something along the lines of well I had to repeat an English class before so I know this really well. I obviously start laughing and he turns around and says Zak, I am literally more smartest than you. I looked for 5 seconds to see anything but all I saw was the glaze of a Kevin.  Zak385

50 States

My friend moved to another state from Alaska. When applying for a job, once they found out she had moved from Alaska, they asked if she would have any trouble providing proof of citizenship. Alaska is far and all, but it is still part of the US.  littled311

Pinterest

Mistaken Identity

I work in a shop in Cape Town, South Africa dealing mainly with tourists. One of the things we stock is carved wooden animals.

A few years ago a guy came in and was looking for a carved "Male Hippopotamus". I was a tad confused, as the carvings clearly don't have sexes but he was adamant, he wanted a "Male". With some more gesturing I finally found out what he was looking for.... a Rhino. He thought the horn of the Rhino was an indication of being a male Hippo.  Grrrr1977

Pinterest

Historical Ignorancies

My husband and I were playing Cards Against Humanity with my sister (who is 21) and her boyfriend.

She takes a card. Looks at it, totally dumbfounded by it. Tells us she has no idea what it means, but that it's "something with an A and looks like German."

My husband and I look at each other and say, almost in unison, "Is it Auschwitz?"

"Yeah! What does that mean?"

We started laughing, thinking she was kidding (I mean, it was CAH after all, I figured she was just making a really dark joke or something). She was not. Her boyfriend then admits that he has no idea what it means either.

Had to explain to my 21-year-old sister and her boyfriend about what Auschwitz was and what happened. Pulled up photos and some historical stuff online and had to chat it out for a good hour or more afterward.

Both of them vote and are active in politics. Yeesh.

That's what you get for going to high school in the Florida public school system, apparently.  PauseAndReflect

Instant Replay

Not me but someone I know...So he and his wife and their friends got to go to the Super Bowl... They normally watch it live on TV. His wife says (in the most serious straight face ever), "Where are the yellow lines that tell the scores and stats and stuff?"  SeptemberSapphire96

Igloo

My ex and I were watching Jeopardy!, and Alex Trebek read off an answer like, "The Inuit in Alaska were known to make this type of house out of frozen dihydrogen monoxide." My ex snorted and said, "There's no way they had those chemicals back then."  H0use0fpwncakes

How Pandas Were Made?

I was talking to a co-worker about global warming and how eventually polar bears could be extinct. He said "what's a polar bear?" I said "what do you mean?" He then said, "well a polar bear is nothing but a white colored bear, so they will just leave the Arctic and live in forests".

I thought he was joking but no, he wasn't.  hamsternation

Pinterest

Gimme an F

We got our tests back and this kids turns to me and asks, 'does F stand for family?' A piece of my soul died that day This was the 8th grade.  courtroombrown123

Pinterest

Who Needs Sex-Ed?

A pregnant girl at work just sort of put it out there that her baby got it's nourishment through her bellybutton. Like as in she believes that somehow her child is getting fed through her own bellybutton not the baby is getting nourishment through the umbilical cord and what would become its own bellybutton. Another girl was walking by us at the time and literally stopped mid-step, shook her head and then kept walking.  Vixenstein

Unreality TV

While watching a SITCOM, my step-father says "How do they get the cameras in their house without them knowing?"   RubyKane 

Say Cheese

Them: "Will my phone keep taking pictures if the battery dies?"

Me: "It depends on how much film you put in it."

Them: "Oh. Okay, thanks."  tyler_tloc

Medical Miracle

Former male coworker was talking about various health problems in the office. He said that he checked his symptoms with WebMD and that one of the closest matches was gestational diabetes, but he couldn't find any cases of men getting it.  dalgeek

U.S. Mint

Friend thought ATMs print the money before dispensing. She's an elementary school teacher.  sporkachoon

Giphy
You May Also Like
Hi friend— subscribe to my mailing list to get inbox updates of news, funnies, and sweepstakes.
—George Takei