It's easy to rib someone well enough to leave them stumped and eventually left to admit defeat.
But beware, for you can never underestimate certain people after you slammed them with your sardonic wit.
They may surprise you with a retort so sharp, it cuts you on the inside and makes you bleed out all of your remaining wit.
Curious to hear from those who you've gotta hand it to for their brilliant digs, Redditor GeorgeTH281 asked:
"What’s your favorite insult?"
Insulting one's intelligence seems to be a default when it comes to roasting.
The Fight Is On
"You have 2 brain cells left and they are both fighting for third place."
– Eclipsethenextone
Don't Bank On A Reprieve
"A penny for your thoughts would be a ripoff."
– TheChainLink2
Flat-Lining
"Your learning curve is a horizontal line."
– idekmnn
This Follows
"You couldn’t pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel."
– nevermyrrh
Doesn't Get Any Lower Than This
"If your IQ was any lower, i'd have to water you."
– Silmarill
No Visual Aid
"I have neither the patience nor the crayons to explain this to you...."
– s0n1cm0nk3y
Frequent Offender
"You make me believe in reincarnation, because nobody could become that stupid in one lifetime."
– dirtbagdano
These hit below the belt, but you can't help but admire the sardonic wit.
Waste Of Oxygen
"There is a tree working hard to make oxygen, and here you are, ruining all of that effort."
– Rich_Bench9594
The Artistic Insult
"Even Bob Ross would call you a mistake."
– WellEndowedPunk
Ratio Imbalance
"Does your a** get jealous of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth?"
– ChinaCatRider92
Unwanted
"The tide wouldn’t take you out."
– mmratic
Missing Person
"Somewhere a village is missing an idiot."
– JuryBorn
We would like to think most of these are used in jest among friends, which would elicit good-spirited laughter.
But they would also make for an effective slam aimed at your worst adversary. It's all in the delivery–especially in front of their friends.
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"People who don’t get buddy-buddy with your neighbors, why?"
Awkward Greys Anatomy GIFClassic Conditioning
"I was raised in an area where we had no neighbors."
"Now living in a neighborhood it drives me crazy to be outside working in the yard with people on all sides."
"I miss privacy."- Best_Fondant_3027
Friendly, But Not Friends
"I'm friendly with all my neighbors but I'm not trying to hang out with them."
"I don’t have any cool neighbors I can relate to on a personal level other than the fact we live in the same area."- ibetyouranerd
"I'm not against it, but none of them seem interested in more than a 'hey' head nod."
"Which I'm okay with."- Toastybunzz
seth rogen film GIF by NEIGHBORSGiphyIf The Chemistry Isn't There...
"Unless my neighbors are really cool, and we have a good amount in common, I wanna keep the relationship to just waves, how do you do’s, and hey your house is on fire."
"I’m here for pleasantries and emergencies only… I don't need to hang out with you."- Mundane_Tour_3215
"Why would I want to?"
"The only thing I have in common with any of them is that we live on the same block."- great_auks
It's A Generational Thing...
"My neighbors are either half my age of thrice my age."- BarefootBestseller
Baby Boomers Dancing GIFGiphyNo One Likes A Gossip...
"Neighbors next to us and directly across the street gossiped about other neighbors within a few days of us moving to the neighborhood and meeting them."
"Like heavy stuff about affairs, sexual preferences, mental health issues, arguments, etc."
"Also, one of the neighbor’s kids is a disrespectful drama queen."
"I try to steer my kids away from interacting with this kid, but they live next door."- PhatBitty862
My House, My Rules...
"Why would I?"
"My home is the one place I am not required to interact with others."
"I don't want to be bothered and I don't want to bother."
"I'll be friendly if I pass by them or something but I'm not going out of my way to befriend them simply because they live near me."- LunaMay196
Cultural Thing
"I live in Sweden."
"We don't do that here."- SweetWodka420
Sweden Flag Sport GIF by xponentialdesignGiphyYou See Them Every Day...
"Same reason you don't date someone from work."- dudeab1des
"Separation of church and state."
"I have friends, and those friends have to text me to see if I'm home."- Doyce_7
Just Human Nature
"What do I look like? Some sort of extrovert?"- heyitsvonage
Season 5 April GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphyQuality Over Quantity
"I try to get buddy-buddy with as few people as possible IRL."
"I like to live a simple life, and new connections beget new obligations."- Tylensus
Quite The Assortment Of Characters
"One is incredibly reclusive so I leave her alone and one has more faces than the town hall clock so I stay tf away the others are pretty ok though."- Banana_boof
No one should feel obligated to become friends with their neighbors.
On the flip side though, no one should be averse to it either.
After all, when you click, you click, and when you don't...
Well, you get the picture.
Redditor Judgemental_Squirrel wanted to hear about the foods that turn many people's stomachs, so they asked:
"What food aren't you eating even if it was free?"
Cow. Cow tongue. Cow stomach.
Why in the world?
Not that I don't eat steak but... I can't even think about it.
Not even with a free tank...
Sushi Ew GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy"Gas station sushi."
kirinmay
"For sushi use the 200-mile rule. If there isn't a body of water where the fish could have been caught recently, it's probably a bad idea. I wouldn't even get fresh sushi in Kansas unless I caught the fish myself."
Bahnd
Just Bland
"Shark fin."
Podzilla07
"I attended a wedding and the family paid for the food at an after-wedding dinner. I didn't know what it was, I didn't learn of the immorality behind it until after, that being said, it wasn't remarkable in any way and is in no way worth what they do to the sharks."
xfocalinx
"Not defending shark fin's soup, it's pretty bad the way it's prepared but where have you been eating it that it's bland? I'm Asian so I've eaten it at a bunch of weddings, its standout feature is how rich it is both in taste and texture."
LoreCriticizer
WHAT?!?!
"I’ve lived in New York my whole life and came to South Carolina for vacation ended up moving down here because I loved the weather. I learned that they apparently LOVE Mayonnaise and BANANA SANDWICHES!!"
"Miss me with that friggin' crap WHAT!?"
Yunloveme
"This is a dying sandwich down here, too. I grew up with them and enjoy them, but it's becoming less common. I think it must have started as a poverty food or something. They are good, though. Sweet and tangy." ~ Ritz527
"Banana and mayonnaise sandwiches came about during the times when food was more scarce (WWII). My grandmother loved them!"
Excusemytootie
Spoiled
"Suspiciously lukewarm milk. I am extremely paranoid about spoiled milk."
Melomius
"The smell of warm/hot milk is disgusting. When I have to make a huge batch of Mac and cheese at the school I work at, I have to wear a mask during the heating up of the milk/butter."
"Nothing like filling up a kitchen with the odor of vomit. Ugh. I refuse to eat Alfredo sauce and NE clam chowder for the same reason."
KitchenWitch021
Sorry Danes
fish GIFGiphy"Lutefisk. No offense to the wonderful people of Sweden/Norway and I genuinely like most other Swedish/Norwegian cuisine but not that."
"Edit- changed from Swedish to Scandinavian to Swedish/Norwegian thanks to the new knowledge about it from helpful Redditors. Apologies to Danes and anyone else who was offended by Lutefisk being labeled as Scandinavian."
HelenAngel
I go back and forth with fish in general, so a fish I can't pronounce... never!
Anything But This!
No No No GIFGiphy"Balut."
DesignerString6620
"On Today’s episode of 'F**k That!'"
"My friend said 'It’s great! Just pop the top off and sprinkle a little salt, drink the soup, and then eat the rest.' No."
omega_frog
"This. I could probably eat damn near everything, everyone else named, but hell no to this! And doing a quick skim, I’d actually probably tried half of the stuff, that’s been posted here."
Eupion
After Effects
"Pickled fish... tapeworms."
"Edit: I probably should have said 'Pickled fish because of tapeworms.' Buying them from a store is probably safe but buying/getting them from a bar or a person may not be. My uncle got tapeworm from pickled Walleye. One of two things need to be done beforehand, 1. bring the meat to 'a temp' (I don't remember) which sterilizes it but doesn't cook it, or 2. freeze for 2 days."
hatchetman208
Bad Harvest
"Edible Birds Nest. The high demand causes the nests to be harvested while still in use resulting in uncountable deaths of chicks and unborn swallows."
CaptainCloudyL
"Nearly all the edible bird's nest on the market is farmed, not harvested wild. Nesting houses are often built in urban areas for the swiftlets to settle in, while wild populations are left relatively untouched."
"The overharvesting you mention was a problem around 2 decades ago when immature nests in caves were destroyed to meet demand, but urban farming today has allowed populations to rebound and stabilize. After all, it's not in the farmers' interests to destroy swiftlet chicks which would become moneymakers for them next season."
LostTheGame42
LOATHING!!
"Liver, I cannot for the life of me get past the horrible taste and the horrible smell, I can't."
mikeyeli
"I tried eating liver before because I read that they’re a good source of iron. I then stopped and would rather take iron pills. I don’t eat any organs food like liver, gizzard, intestine, and all that. Those food are easily found in my country."
mznh
"Hell, yes. I LOATHE any kind of liver and have a special hatred for foie gras. Not only the method is horrible, but the texture is also even more revolting than regular liver."
"And yes, I've tried multiple times, from multiple animals and in every preparation under the sun because a lot of people go 'But you haven't tried it made THIS way.'"
Duochan_Maxwell
Bad Texture
"Gizzards. I'm not a gristle gal at all."
biggesttoot
"I love gizzards but I don't think I would ever call them gristly. Chewy as leather for sure though!"
orangestegosaurus
Lord No!
"Durian."
leafbaker
"Hot garbage fruit. When I was living in China, about 10 meters from my apartment’s entrance there was a durian stand and a stinky tofu stand side by side. Never needed coffee in the morning to wake up properly."
kuridono
Well, my stomach is unsettled.
I'll skip dinner for now.
Do you have anything to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
