People Divulge Their Favorite Go-To Comebacks

People Divulge Their Favorite Go-To Comebacks
Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

Whether the person delivering the remark is joking or dead serious and miserable, chances are that we'll be insulted plenty of times in our lives.


And the worst thing that can happen is to freeze.

Nobody wants to be a dear in the headlights when someone decided to bully them. Instead, it's best to be prepared.

A recent Reddit thread asked people to pool their best comebacks to insults they could come up with. Thanks to them, we can walk around stocked with some return fire on the occasion we do fall prey to a person's put downs.

Redditor Concert-Extra asked:

"What is your go-to comeback when insulted?"

Of course, there were plenty of witty one-liners proposed. The hope here is that wittiness of the comeback trumps the intelligence level of the insult that provoked it.

It's all math.

Firmly Mediocre

" 'I've been called worse by better men' " -- Atbunyar

"Stealing that, thanks" -- GSavvage

Saying It Without Saying It

"Let's play horse: I'll be the head and you be yourself."

-- Back2Bach

Getting Literal

"If they say 'fu** you.' I say 'not even if you paid me.' "

"I say, 'I'm not that desperate, and you're not that lucky...' " -- webjocky

Free Reign

"If the insult is funny / good, laugh with them. If it's bad, laugh at them, and just go 'you know what buddy, we'll give you another crack at that one if you'd like.' "

-- FerrellFerret

Others advocated against getting into the weeds with a counter-insult. Instead, they advised a response that, above all, thrived on its absurdity to leave the insulter as puzzled as possible.

Just Nothing

"Complete silence… let the uncomfortable sizzle and sink in. It's debilitating to the ego." -- LivingBeneficial3814

"That's what I do. Insults only have validity if the issuer thinks it worked." -- trenchfootflyfisher

Annoy, Annoy, Annoy

"Ask them to repeat themselves. Then do it again." -- Global-Ad404

"This is the best one because a good insult relies on timing. Having them repeat it makes it sound dumb and mean." -- Elephinker

Keep Pushing

"i just say 'and then?' and i keep saying it after every insult until they run out of insults." -- snodnif

"and theeeeeeeeeeeeeen?" -- Ninkaso

Finally, some advocated the "kill them with kindness" approach.

Opening Things Up

"When somebody is insulting me without any purpose, I just tell them 'bad day, huh?' "

"I swear, 90% of the people almost immediately calm down and even apologise to me, beacuse they seriously had a bad day and they just had too much bad energy without a way to let it go."

"There's no need to fight back, sometimes we need a good approach to end the argument and calm down the attacker."

-- W4rr3n00

BUD

"You doing alright, bud?" -- 7788445511220011

"Oooo the condescending use of 'bud.' Nice touch." -- Kuli24

"noooooooo not the BUD!!!! he's to evil to be left alive" -- Kbirt24

Wind Out of the Sails

"I don't get insulted often but the odd chance when it happens I say 'God Bless You' It either enrages them or they look confused for some reason."

-- Hopenomo

Here's to you leaving here with 10 comebacks in your back pocket.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Man walking away with a briefcase
Marten Bjork/Unsplash

One must really hate their job in order for them to get fired.

Depending on the actual job, it's not that difficult to follow established rules and work protocols. Deviating from them just to get terminated can take more effort.

That is, of course, the employees are completely inept or severely disgruntled and have no problem going on a self-sabotaging mission to be let go.

Why can't they just quit, you ask? Well, that'll be less dramatic.

Keep reading...Show less

For many people, escaping to the woods, either in a tent or a cabin, is just what they need to escape from their current realities and reset their mind.

Allowing themselves to be one with nature, and cut off from technology.

Not everyone finds the woods a peaceful place, however.

Indeed, being cut off from the rest of the world, all the while surrounded by wildlife, it's easy to see why some people find the woods scary, and not at all relaxing.

Particularly if their time in the woods included an experience which made them never want to return, ever again.

Keep reading...Show less

The older you get, the more you realize that having a worldview can be a disappointing aspect of life.

It's all the knowledge we acquire.

Sure, the more you know, the smarter you get.

But the more you know, the less you can pretend.

History can be difficult to learn.

Everything opinion and thought can change in an instant.

Sometimes that is a great thing.

Sometimes... not so much.

Keep reading...Show less
Woman laughing and covered in popcorn while watching TV
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Whether we're huge television watchers or not, most of us have at least one television show that we've really enjoyed.

And all too often, the show ends long before we're ready for that final episode, and we dream of a reunion episode or encore season.

Keep reading...Show less