If you can afford fine dining on a regular basis, that's great.
And while pandemic restrictions limit our posh dining opportunities, we can always be thankful for the simpler delights awaiting us in our home pantries.
I can't speak for everyone, but doesn't your palette sometimes prefer something less refined, like instant ramen?
Or how about that box of mac & cheese that comes with a packet of orange cheese powder?
"What's your favorite poverty meal that you still eat regardless of where you are financially?"
Any of these on the menu sound familiar?
Hint: It Has Cheese
"Grill cheese sandwich"
"Grilled cheese is great pretending to be bougie food too. My brother and I used to go to the store together and splurge on fancy-ish cheese (i.e. still the precut stuff in plastic in the dairy section, not the high end stuff in the deli section or the fancy cheese cooler) and see who could come up with the best combination of cheeses and bread from the bakery section."
"I think we settled on sourdough, smoked gouda, havarti, and cream cheese."
All It's Kraft Up To Be
"Boxed mac is definitely my 'if you had to eat one food for the rest of your life' no-brainer."
Ramen Upgrade
"I'll one-up that with Indomie specifically. If you haven't heard of it, you're missing out."
"It was so popular in Nigeria it practically replaced the world 'noodle' (despite Indomie being an Indonesian product, 11,688 km away)."
"I brought it to an international summer camp in Finland where all the delegates from other countries pretty much lapped up the serving tray like dogs."
Spoiler Alert: It Involves Cinnamon, Sugar & Toast
"Cinnamon sugar toast"
– squangee
"My 4 year old and I eat this for breakfast on the weekends. She calls it toast with sprinkles."
"Best cure for a sweet tooth! Reminds me of how my dad and I would hollow out strawberries and fill them with sugar when I was little, we called them sugar bombs!"
– squangee
Good Morning Reaction GIFGiphy"A gas station slushie mixed with gas station wine. Poor man's daiquiri."
Always A Winning Combo
"Smashed potatoes with cheese. Was once my favorite poverty meal and now some kind of soulfood lol"
– ezznezz
Culinary Expert–Approved
"I'm a chef. I own a restaurant. I've eaten some of the finest foods on this planet. Very few things taste better than box Mac and cheese with cut up hot dogs."
Noah Centineo Chef GIF by AllureGiphyWorth the Labor
"Pasta aglio olio. Warm some garlic in olive oil, add a sprinkle of red pepper and grate some parm on top. Love this simple, cheap classic."
Canned Delights
"Can of sweet corn, can of Ro-Tel (Chile's and tomatoes) mixed together."
Cheap AND Nutritious
"We used to eat squash and eggs growing up. Grew the squash and eggs are cheap enough, or trade with the neighbors. You just cut the squash into thin round and cook in a pan with a little oil until they're just soft. Scramble the eggs with the squash, add a bunch of pepper, some salt. Sometimes we ate it over noodles or rice."
Mom's Legacy
"Grew up poor, but my mom sure knew how to stretch a dollar. She would make steak fingers out of the cheapest cuts she could find. Tenderize, fry them up make gravy out of the drippings and serve with mashed potatoes. The whole meal probably cost less than 5 bucks in 70s dollars, and I'm telling you nothing tasted better. I made it for my kids when they were growing up and they still ask me for it sometimes. She would be 94 today."
"Love you miss you mom."
Vegetarian Alternative
"I'm Mexican. For us, it's usually quesadillas without meat, rice and black beans as the sides."
SOS
"Sh*t on a shingle?" Sausage gravy served over toast."
"I scrolled for 10 minutes to find somebody who also grew up with SOS. My mom made the gravy from scratch, just flour, butter, milk, and pepper, and used sliced corned beef instead. Mmmmmmm!!"
The Ingredient That's A Dish
"Dal. Aside from tumeric you can buy all the ingredients for less than $2 a pound."
"Oh yeah! Dal is magic. Lentils in general deserve more love. They are SO GOOD FOR YOU, and are delicious. They make a great meat substitute if you're broke or just want to go meatless."
Just Add Rice
"Soup boiled down with rice to bulk it up."
"This is a good one, almost like a porridge or congee. When I'm sick I boil rice in chicken stock and just eat it that way, no soy sauce or anything else so its easy on my stomach. Its a really comforting thing to eat."
This Goes Down Easy
"Egg drop soup:
- 1 quart chicken stock
- 1 tbsp soy sauce
- 1 tbsp corn starch
- 1 inch grated ginger
- whisk in 2 eggs
- green onions sprinkled"
Human beings have five senses, sure—but we all know about the sixth sense. The one that tells us when something isn’t right, even if there’s no logical reason for it. Don’t believe us? Well, just ask these people. They listened to that sinking feeling and ended up thanking their lucky stars that they did. From the bizarre to the disturbing, these stories gave us all the proof we needed to listen to our gut.
Truck on Truck Violence
timelapse photography of vehiclesPhoto by arnie chou on UnsplashI was driving to work one morning at about 2 am. As I was behind this slow 18-wheeler, I was getting a feeling I needed to move. When we came up to a red light, I switched over a lane so that I wouldn’t be behind him anymore. Just about a second later I heard something that sounded like an explosion. It was a tow truck slamming into the back of the 18-wheeler at about 70 mph.
It tore off the two rear axles on the trailer, and most certainly would have smashed my car to pieces.
Toxic Thoughts
My dad left for work, got a weird feeling, and drove back home. When he walked in, he entered a nightmare. Everyone in the house was unconscious. He had to drag or carry them all outside one by one and call the ambulance. It turns out that my mom and her entire family had severe carbon monoxide inhalation. Because he trusted his gut, they all survived.
Speed Demon
When I was 18, I was on a back road with some friends. A girl I didn't know was driving really fast. Now, I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie, and I have always enjoyed a calculated risk in the name of a good time, but I just had a terrible feeling this time. I told her to either slow the heck down or let me out. I literally had to start screaming at her before she listened and slowed down.
A week later, a friend told me a story that made my blood run cold. She had crashed on that same stretch of road at 90mph, killing herself and the three passengers of her car.
Warning Signs
I work at a psych hospital. I was in the cafe with an adult unit and the adolescent unit was also there. I had known one of the kids from when she was on the children’s and normally we had a good rapport. I went to say hi and told her I was proud she had been staying out of trouble, a few of the other girls reacted weirdly to me saying it and the girl looked guilty.
I told the staff on the unit and said they should keep an extra eye on the girls because I had bad vibes about it. The staff kinda brushed me off. A half hour later four girls—including the one I knew—literally almost killed the two staff, one got her head bashed in and suffered brain trauma and the other staff was blinded in one eye.
Tragically Right to Be Worried
My mom called me when I was out with a friend. She told me my brother didn't come home last night. She was very worried, even though this is not the weirdest thing for a 21-year-old. I went straight home, and we both felt like something bad had happened. At home, his phone was on the couch in the living room so we couldn't contact him. We called the police and after a week of investigation, his body was found drowned in a nearby lake. I miss him every day.
Don’t Laugh At Your Kid's Gut
child peeking from vehicle windowPhoto by Anton Luzhkovsky on UnsplashA storm was gathering as my dad was driving. I was 8, sitting in the back and looking out the window. I told him: "You better hurry, that construction crane looks like it might topple." Everybody laughs at the idiot kid. That evening the whole family was watching the local news. They opened with that crane crashing down due to heavy wind.
Although nobody had been hurt, I felt vindicated.
Not What I Meant By Date & Dinner
Once at a party, I was about to kiss this girl, but my spider senses tingled. I took a few steps back, and she was like "what the fu- " before throwing up. So glad I dodged that bullet.
The Wheels of Fate
Was riding my motorcycle with a friend on the back. We were going down a country road behind a truck hauling a bunch of old car tires, when all of a sudden, I decided we shouldn't be there. I slowed way down to let the truck go ahead of us. Just as I did, one of the tires fell off the truck and landed right where we would have been.
Early Learner
When I was in middle school, I got into a local college’s summer program where kids study advanced subjects. The day was over before my mom's work day, so I would take the light rail to the library or sometimes the local community center. Anyway, it was my first time ever really being on my own in a city or in public in general.
My parents got me my first cell phone because of all this. They didn't make me scared but I was prepared about how to stay safe. I sort of did the same thing everyday; get off my stop, go get a burger, and then go to one place or the other, making sure not to talk to strangers and all that. A couple of times, I noticed a man walking behind me. He'd also go the same burger place that I went to.
He never tried to talk to me or do anything like that, but after the fourth time I noticed, I called my mom and she told me people are just going about their day, on a schedule like I am, so it could just be a coincidence. Well, one day I decided to eat inside the burger place instead of take it to go, and I saw him walking outside and straight toward the way I would normally go.
Before he got out of the parking lot, he started looking around, like he was looking for someone or something. I went to the restroom, called my mom, and told her to get me. I didn't go that way ever again after that, took a new route. About a week or so later, a chilling story came on the news about a girl who had gone missing. The video footage was from the same strip center as the burger place.
The suspect was the man who had been following me.
Kids Know More Than They Let on
My mom told me this story the other day and it freaked me out. When my oldest sister was little, like 3 years old, she asked my then-pregnant aunt to pick her up to hold her. My mom said she was like "She can't pick you up, honey, she has a baby in her tummy." And then my little sister was like "That baby is dead!" My mom freaked out, but my aunt and grandma were fine and were telling my mom it was all good, she was just a toddler and didn't know what she was saying.
Well, lo and behold my aunt goes to the doctor the next day for a routine pregnancy checkup, and the baby was dead. Give me the willies just thinking about it.
Sometimes a Hot Shower Doesn’t Cure All
man in black adidas zip up jacketPhoto by Ashkan Forouzani on UnsplashOne day, I felt a sudden pain in my lungs when I inhaled. I’ve never been stabbed, so I don’t know what it’s like, but the pain should have been equal to it, if not worse. It had happened before, years ago. After some hot water in the shower, the pain was gone. My wife insisted on going to ER. I insisted on hot water. “I feel like we should go and see a doctor,” she said.
When I was examined, I was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism on both lungs. The doctor said “One or two more hours, and you would’ve been gone.” So yeah, I owe my wife one.
Watching The Ones Who Do Not Smile
I was at a party when I was in college when two older dudes showed up. The place was packed and most people were loaded. I noticed something was a bit off about them. They never smiled and weren’t really talking to anyone. Finally, someone accused them of feeling around in their back pocket and it turned out they were lifting wallets from dumb college kids.
Once confronted, one of the guys stabbed the kid in the stomach with a smallish knife. They left slowly and were never caught. It was pretty surreal. The kid who got stabbed turned out fine.
Granny Knows What's Up
We had a psychopath roaming South Carolina a couple years ago. No one knew what he looked like yet but he had already killed three people at this point. Well, my granny has lived alone since my paw-paw passed about 15 years ago. She lives at the end of a long dirt road with about 10 other families but the closest one was about a quarter mile up the road.
One afternoon some random guy comes knocking on the front door of her house. My granny is a practical woman, she has never been to school because she grew up on a farm and was expected to pull her weight, but she is a smart woman. She goes to the door but doesn't open it—it’s a glass door. The 40ish-year-old man is there asking if he can use the phone since his car broke down, but Granny doesn't like the look of this guy. If he doesn't live here there is no reason for him to be on this road and if he was visiting someone their house or anyone else's house would have been closer since she lives on a dead end.
Anyways, she tells him that no he can't use the phone and needs to leave. She backs up and picks up my paw-paw's 410 as she goes. Once he sees the shotgun he hightails it out of there. About a week later the cops finally catch pyschopath and lo and behold if it isn't the same man.
What’s the Harm at a Farm?
I had a co-worker who used to go to parties in high school. Several of the parties in her senior year were at some guy’s farm. She went to one and bailed right away, saying it felt weird. The guy who owned the farm was Robert Pickton.
The Nose Knows
I was like eight when my parents took me and my younger brother to stay the night at my paternal grandparents' house because they were in the middle of divorcing. They lived in a farmhouse that was connected to a barn with machinery, gasoline tanks, and hay on the ground floor and furnished rooms on the floor above that. The room we were supposed to stay in was in that barn.
As soon as we went into the guest room, I was overwhelmed by panic and felt really dizzy. I turned around and just said that we will not sleep in that room, and we spent the night on the couch in the living room instead. Later that night, a gas leak in the barn ignited. The entire barn exploded, including the guest rooms on its top floor.
Maybe I had that weird feeling because the gas had leaked into the room already, but no one else felt anything. I'm sure I would be dead if I hadn't noticed it
Trust Your Gut
vintage bar stationPhoto by Florencia Viadana on UnsplashA few years ago, I was at a bar with a couple of friends. All was good, we were drinking and having fun. All of sudden, we heard this discussion taking place just a couple of tables away from us. Two guys decided to have a shouting/threat match. I stopped everything to pay attention to them. My friends were making fun of me, saying I was gossipy. One of the guys in the discussion got up and left.
Immediately after he left, I told my friends we had to go. Right away. I was adamant. They didn't get why I was being weird, but we’d been friends forever, so they reluctantly agreed. We went to a different bar in a different neighborhood, but I couldn't take my mind off of those two guys. The next day, I turned on the news and I couldn’t believe my eyes.
There was a report about a bar fight. Apparently, the guy who got up went home, grabbed a gun and came back for a drive by. He mowed down four people in the process. My grandpa taught me to never ignore my gut, and I couldn't be happier to have listened.
Ditching Danger
I was driving a friend home late at night when I was around 21. She lived in a pretty rural area outside of St. Louis, MO and about a quarter mile from her house was an old abandoned farm and farm house. I always thought of this place as non-threatening as she told me she and her two sisters would go there as kids and they found an attic full of cool things, including a trunk of vintage woman’s clothing and old love letters. It was like something out of a movie.
Anyway, I’m driving her home and it’s a hot, humid Missouri summer so we have the windows open. We are also singing at the top of our lungs. We pass the abandoned farm and I drop her off at her house. I wait long enough to see she makes it inside and I head back out the way I came. I’m driving along and I get to where the farm is. I see two things in the middle of the road, but I can’t tell what they are.
My danger meter goes off. I had just driven this road and there was nothing there. That’s when I put the windows up and made sure the doors were locked. I got closer and realized the items are two car batteries, spaced out in the road in such a way that I would have to get out and move them to drive on the road. I immediately knew I wasn’t getting out of the car.
I picked the side of the road that had the more shallow ditch and I gunned it. I was driving a little SUV and remember feeling the car run over branches and things in the ditch, but I just gunned it and got out of there. All the way home, I felt creeped out and kept checking my rear view mirror. I called my friend the next morning and told her what had happened and we both agreed it was weird.
Shortly after that, I moved to another state and didn’t think much of it after that. Fast forward to a couple of years later when I was back visiting my hometown. I randomly ran into my old friend and she ran up to me with wide eyes and grabbed my arms. She asked me if I remembered what I told her that night. I said yes and she proceeded to tell mea story that made my blood run cold.
Not too long after the night with the car batteries in the road had happened, her family was awakened in the middle of the night to someone pounding on their sliding glass door. Her dad went to check and saw two naked, injured women. He let them in and immediately called 9-1-1. They had been abducted from St. Louis City, about 40 minutes away, by two men and brought to the old abandoned farmhouse where the men had attacked them.
The women somehow managed to get free and ran like heck to the only light they could see—the light over my friend’s garage. They both survived, but the men who grabbed them were never caught. There was evidence the men had been going there for a while. My friend was convinced they had put the batteries in the road to get me to stop.
I’m just really glad my gut told me not to get out of my car.
The Man in Red
Well, I was walking home. Wasn't late and I'm from a pretty safe area, but it was that time of year when it starts to get dark really early so felt kind of ominous. Anyway, I pass this guy in a red sweater and red tracksuit bottoms, and he looks at me funny. Maybe he's high, maybe he's loaded...either way something not quite right about him.
I keep going. Look behind me, he's still there. Cross the road. He crosses with me. As soon as I turn a corner, I sprint to my apartment complex and run into the coded gate and wait. He rocks up a minute later and stares at me through the gate. He just stares at me for a good 10 or so seconds then runs back the way he came.
Shivers.
No Party Favors Tonight
Had a friend who said we should go to this party he was invited to by a classmate of his. We ended driving out to it. We noticed the neighborhood was not too pleasant and sketchy. We saw that house had some lights on in backyard but kind of quiet for a party. I decided that we should not go since something felt really off.
Friend ended finding out that the classmate that invited him got robbed and threatened when he went to the party. It ended up being a fake party.
The Byes That Never Were
Years ago, I was staying the night at someone else's house, maybe an hour from where I lived. That night I was so tired, but I couldn't get to sleep. I was super anxious all night, which was very unusual for me, and I just couldn't relax. I came so close to just grabbing my things and driving home in the middle of the night several times, but I convinced myself not to.
Turns out I should have. If I'd gone home that night, I would have had the chance to say goodbye to my dad before he passed away that next morning. I still regret that to this day, and I promised myself that the next time I get a feeling like that I'll listen to it.
A Mother’s Intuition
person in green jacket and black pants walking on brown grass field during daytimePhoto by Ali Kazal on UnsplashWhen my mom was pregnant with my older sister, she and her family decided to go hiking in the mountains. On the day of the hike, she suddenly felt weird and uncomfortable. She stayed behind while the rest of her family went for the hike. Her family got lost, and this was long before cellphones. If it wasn't for my mom staying behind, no one would’ve noticed they were gone and so no one would’ve gotten help.
Road to Nowhere
I was offered a dream job at almost double my salary in a different city. It was only two hours away, but something told me not to take the job. I had a number of people tell me I would never have another opportunity like this, and my fear of leaving my hometown was holding me back. Two months after I turned it down, that division of the company was sold, and everyone in that department lost their job.
I would have been stuck in a new city with no friends or family nearby, and no job prospects.
When You’re the Responsible Adult
About 15 years ago, I left work early, like really early, for no real reason. I got home and all these kids were standing near my door (apartment complex next to a pond) and they were all staring at me and not saying anything. I went inside and dropped my bag. It wouldn’t stop weighing on me how weird it was, so I went back outside.
I spoke to them asking what was going on and one kid meekly asked if I could help his friend. A kid I didn't see was sitting on a curb surrounded by all the rest. They had all jumped the fence next to the pond, except he slipped and impaled the flesh of his inner thigh and got stuck, the kids helped pick him up off of it, but he was just sitting there bleeding everywhere with a bunch of meat hanging out. I got him treated and ambulance on the way, he came back a few weeks later with his family to thank me, said I saved his leg.
There were 6-7 kids who all just followed me with their eyes without any sound (no talking, no shuffling, no kid sounds) as I walked down the sidewalk, that’s what freaked me out. The kid in question was sitting on a curb in between them facing away so I didn’t notice him. When I asked what was going on, they parted like the Red Sea.
He was in shock and asked me if he needed help and then lifted his shorts leg. Everyone was eerily calm about the whole thing. However, once lights and sirens came, they scattered to the four winds. The railing was made of 1/2” steel tubing. The top had a horizontal runner about eight inches from the top of the picket. Each picket was four inches apart and the tops of each picket were pinched together flat then the edges were folded in, creating a spear but without any barbs.
This created a place to put your foot to hop the fence, provided you didn’t slip. So luckily it was smooth in and smooth out. What’s horrifying, and I never thought of until now, is the way that he had to fall to impale his thigh means he hung there with all his weight on it. Jesus.
Raining Down
I don’t know if it was a gut feeling or lucky coincidence, but either way, it was a really, really close call. I decided I should empty the garbage as I left the house for class, which added maybe 10 seconds to my journey as the bin was 10 feet from my front door. I began my walk to school. Just in front of me, some idiot from the third floor flat threw a load of glass out his window, smashing all over the path.
If I’d left ten seconds earlier—AKA if I’d left without taking out the garbage—it would’ve rained down on me.
Bouldering Is Dangerous
Went for a weekend away with a group from my local Scouting area, back in the ‘80s. I didn't know them all, went to make up the numbers and get some climbing/canoeing/caving done. We stayed in a rented house in the Peak District (UK). One evening, a few guys went out to try "bouldering"—climbing boulders 10 to 15 meters high.
I got there, took one look and said no, we have no climbing gear, that's high enough to die if you fall. I got the mickey taken, called "chicken," etc., so I left them to it and walked back. An hour later one guy fell 10 meters and split his skull open on the rocks below, killed instantly.
Stranger Danger
person wearing hooded jacket walking in bridgePhoto by Paul Garaizar on UnsplashI was maybe six years old and playing with a friend at the playground. An older man came and asked us if we would like to play at his private playground. I remembered my mum telling me to not interact with strangers, so I declined. I was sure as a kid that he had a private playground and was actually kind of mad at myself for not saying yes.
Years later, I was 25 and walked home alone from a club, being tipsy. That’s when it struck me. Suddenly, I remember this man from my childhood and it occurred to me what that really was. I see in the corner of my eye two guys behind me, one leaning on the wall, the other one just nodding and walking out of my perspective. Got chills like crazy.
All of a sudden, this dude locks me in his arms, trying to touch me. I said no, he didn’t stop. No one was around. So I said let’s just walk, because I was convinced that the other guy was just waiting as well. We walked, he held me super close to him. I asked him for his jacket because I thought I could run if he has to mess with his zipper.
He just grinned at me, held me even tighter and didn’t say a word. So I felt that I was running out of time, and there was still no other pedestrian in sight. So I relaxed my body on purpose while walking. He sensed it, stopped holding me so tight. I focused for 30 seconds and right at the moment when he looked back, I punched him as hard as I could on the side of his jaw.
He fell to the ground and I ran.
Stranger Danger!
This happened almost 30 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was probably 8 or 9 at the time and had been at the store buying candy for the weekend with the girl from next door, she was one year younger than me. A car stopped and the man inside opened the passenger door and asked me and my friend to get in the car. He was picking us up for our parents, he told us.
I could not shake the feeling that something was wrong and remember thinking "this is what my parents were talking about!" I grabbed my friend’s hand, said that we lived in that house "right over there" and pulled my friend with me. Went to their door, rang the bell, went straight in and told the people living there what had happened.
Turned out I was right, we were about to be kidnapped.
Expertise
Airline pilot here—warning, do not continue reading if flying makes you uneasy. One day we loaded up passengers and cargo and everything and we were ready to taxi. I noticed that the nose of the airplane seemed to be higher up than usual while we were sitting on the ground. I told my first officer about it and he agreed. We double checked the weight and balance and everything seemed to be right.
I decided to just taxi out towards the runway and see if the wheel struts would go back to their normal positions during taxi. Still felt weird to me. Something wasn't right. I told ground control we needed to go back to the gate. Called Ops and told them we're headed back because I think something isn't right with the weight and balance.
After we get back, I ask them to check how much ballast we have in the aircraft. It's verified on my sheet as 500lbs., but I have a feeling...Turns out, yep, they forgot to put it in the plane. So had we taken off, the center of gravity would have been out of whack—way past limits. It could have resulted in an airplane that was impossible to control. Just like that 747 that took off and had the load slide to the back.
That was a day that I was really pleased that I had so much experience flying to give me that feeling & that feeling could very well have saved my life along with others.
The Watcher
I used to date a girl who I would go see every night after I got off work, when I worked until midnight. After meeting, I would stay at her house until about one or two AM. Sometimes as I left her house, she would follow me in her car and stop at a nearby all-night grocery store. I always begged her not to go alone, but she always said she'd be fine.
Sometimes I would wait in the parking lot until she came back out and then we'd go our separate ways. Sometimes I wouldn't. One time I felt ill so as we left she said, "Just go straight home, I'll be fine, I always am." For some reason, I felt like that was the night I needed to be there, so I stayed, but I didn’t tell her. She thought I went straight home.
I was in the parking lot as she pulled in but she didn't see me. As she walked in, a shady looking dude was walking out. She ignored him but he looked back at her about three or four times. Then he gets to his truck and another guy is in there and they talk through the window for a minute looking back at the store a couple times. The second guy gets out of the truck, gets something out of the back of it then they both head back into the store.
I couldn't be sure they were going to do anything but I was not about to take a chance, so I go into the store too. I see them going past every aisle and then motion to each other like "there she is." So, I walk a bit faster to catch up. I turn into the aisle just as they are approaching her. They are looking at each other. From behind I yell "Hey!" They both turn, and so does my girlfriend.
I brush by them and give them a look and say "Hey guys." They nod awkwardly as my girlfriend says to me "What are you doing here?” I kiss her and make up some story about wanting to buy aspirin. The two guys leave. I never told my girlfriend that story, I don't know why. I don’t know what they were up to, but it wasn’t good.
Kill Em With Kindness
I have a story of what happens when you don’t listen to your gut—or at least, you listen to it a bit late. That day, my gut said “Don’t get into the car with this person you’ve just met.” I didn’t listen. He legit kidnapped me and drove me to a forest and tried to drag me out. My gut said to calm down and be nice to him. I basically talked my way out of the situation by being kind and stroking his ego.
I was able to convince him that he didn’t need to do this and that I’d be “his,” but he needed to let me go because my friend was waiting for me. She knew I was getting a ride and that if I didn’t show up soon, maybe we couldn’t “be together.” This guy was crazy but it worked and he drove me to where my friend was waiting. The entire time, I had to keep reassuring him that I wasn’t mad and that I was happy “he chose me”—gag.
Anyway, I got out safe and unharmed except for some bruises from when I first tried to fight him off. He spent a year in jail after that, and ended up going to jail for another crime right afterward.
Not Good With Rejection, Or Humanity
red and black open neon light signagePhoto by Anna Rozwadowska on UnsplashWorked as a Shot Girl at a pub. One night, I rejected someone who attempted to get my number. Not unusual and he didn't seem that bothered. The whole exchange wasn't strange to me. In the early hours after the bar closed, I went to leave through the back door into the car park like usual, when I saw the sensor light outside was on. Someone was standing just outside the door.
I felt uneasy so went out the front and asked one of the bouncers to walk me around the back to my car. As we rounded the corner, we spotted this guy lurking outside the door holding his belt like a makeshift garotte. When he saw us, he started screaming that I was a freaking shrew and I should die. He scampered off into the road and never came back.
Read, Aim, Fire!
I'm a firefighter. We got called out to a tree fire started by fallen power lines. We pull up in the truck, and I'm trusting that my driver and crew leader are doing their job and have good situational awareness. We get out of the truck, and we've parked next to a set of power lines (not fallen). It's a very windy night and I can see the lines swinging so I voice my concerns to my crew leader who says it'll be fine.
We get out hose out (risk of the tree fire catching onto a house outweighing potential risk of arcing plus the line disconnected when it fell), and I'm on the branch ready to start putting it out with 2 others near me when I get a chill. I look up to see the lines swinging violently and yell "everyone freaking move!” As the three of us sprint and dive out of the way we hear a thwip and crack, and, sure enough, the line we were under came loose and stayed connected to the power pole.
If I hadn't got that chill chances are, we would have had three fried firies.
Get Your Own
Not me but my best friend, who was driving to California from Arizona with her two-year-old for work (about 5 months ago). She stopped at a gas station and just got a weird feeling. She normally doesn’t lock her car when she pumps gas, but she decided to do it. During that process, a woman came up to her and started talking all nice and whatnot.
She got an uneasy feeling about it and heard a noise like someone trying to open a door. She turned around and saw the woman’s husband trying to get into her car to steal her baby. She told him to get the heck away from her car, and the man tried to play it off. She told them to screw off and got in her car to leave.
The couple got in their vehicle and followed her, tried to swerve her off the road and brake check her on the highway for a few miles. She was smart enough to call the cops (this was in Primm, Nevada btw), and they caught up to her and ended up arresting the couple. They had gotten multiple reports that day of issues like that.
The Longest Run
I was 13. The bus would take me home from school in 15 minutes, but I liked taking the one-hour walk home. While walking on a main road, a van pulled over some 100 feet away from me. It wasn't a family van, it was one of those utility, boxy-looking ones. The van door was open and a man was waving at me with both of his arms. I was too far away to hear what he was saying.
Usually, I love to help people, but something told me to keep walking. So I kept walking. I look back five minutes later and this guy is walking behind me. Relaxed pace. I'm not worried, but I walk a little faster. I look back maybe two or three minutes later and he's still walking, but closer, and waving his arms again. So I start jogging a little. Now he's jogging. Then I start running as fast as a I can, not stopping to look back.
At one point, I turned onto the next street and couldn't see him anymore. I was so cold with fear, out of breath, waiting for the intersection light to change. The light changed and I went back to walking, but I was out of breath. Five minutes later, I look back and I can’t believe my eyes. He's still following me. So I ran the last two minutes to my building, even though I didn't want him to see where I lived.
I ran into the building lobby, looked through the glass doors. He wasn't there. I pushed the elevator button, and went back to the glass door and saw him on the street far away, still walking. I've always tried to make sense of what he was going to do. This was a busy suburban area. Was he going to just stab me and run away? What did he want with me in particular? Did he just leave his van behind to get towed?
So many questions. So, so weird.
Voices in my Head
After a party many years ago, I was driving home at like four in the morning with my friend passed out in the passenger seat. I was driving fast down a steep hill that's like a half-mile long, at least. I was on autopilot, as I drive down that street every day. Suddenly, about a half a block from a major intersection, which I had a green light for, I heard a voice in my head.
It said these exact words: "You may want to slow down, because if you don't, you might lose your life." It was weird, because that's not really what my tone of voice of style of speaking is like. Anyway, I slowed down, and as I was entering the intersection, a car blew the red light at about 50-60mph, right in front of me. It was so close that I nearly threw up. I started shaking and punching my friend, yelling how I just saved our lives, He just groaned and went back to sleep. Jerk.
Depend on the Kindness of Strangers
woman holding her face in dark roomPhoto by Melanie Wasser on UnsplashI was at a party for my boyfriend’s father but I had a headache that wasn't going away. I had been drinking, but I wasn't drunk. I was just feeling terrible. So I made my excuses and left to walk home alone, as I didn't want to ruin his night with his dad. It was a ten-minute walk, if that, from the pub to our house and it wasn't properly dark yet.
I walked down the street and passed a man sitting on a wall drinking a beer. A minute after I passed, I heard the bottle smash and then footsteps a little while back. Nothing unusual, it was a main road and there was another pub further along but my gut was screaming that something was wrong. I hurriedly walked back to the pub and stopped outside to ask the smokers for a light and a chat as I smoked.
That’s when I saw him pass me, and then stare at me from across the street for an uncomfortable amount of time. With my heart pounding, I asked a bouncer working the doors if he could order me a taxi. A few weeks later, while in the town center, I saw a mugshot of the same dude. He was wanted for assault.
Just in Time to Say Goodbye
This happened just this week. My grandma got diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. We caught it late so there wasn't much we could do. She was too old and weak for chemo, so we decided against that. Last Sunday I just had a gut feeling I had to fly out to visit her. So, I did that, got back on Wednesday. She passed away Friday, a few weeks earlier than the prognosis predicted.
I'm really glad I was able to see her one last time.
War Never Changes
Iraq in 2006. We were going to be inserted for 48hrs. It was 2200 and past curfew. As we snake our way in our armored trucks down from a main avenue and just before my truck makes the left, a man smoking a cigarette and I lock eyes, he flicks the cigarette in my trucks general direction and walks away from our convoy. I leaned towards the center of the truck to look out the front windows and say "Stuff’s about to go down."
The first two IEDs and shots were fired within seconds of me saying that. The ambush lasted for what seemed like hours, was only a few minutes.
A Blast From the Past
It was near Halloween time when my friends and I were telling ghost stories. My friend said she was going to tell a story about her parents' first date. She said she didn't like telling the story, since it was actually true, but we prodded her on. To cut to the chase, the parents had spent a nice, if awkward, first date together and around the time that they would have said "good night," the male in the situation—my friend's dad—suggested that they go for a midnight hike up Provo Canyon.
He apparently knew the place, since he had done a fair amount of rock climbing in the area. So the two drove up to the mouth of the canyon, got out of their cars and started hiking under just the light of the stars, since it was a new moon. At some point, the male starts getting a "bad feeling," since the pathway ahead, which would pass under some trees, would be dark, and because it was getting to be quite late.
He ignores the feeling and presses on. In later rehearsings of the story, the female would say that she had felt the same feeling at what was probably the same time, though she didn't know the trail like he did. A minute later, the feeling came back to the male. He ignored it again, and started walking a bit of the way into the trees when his foot hit something "soft" in the middle of the path.
Under the trees, it was too dark to see just what this soft thing was, and the feeling came back stronger than ever. Instead of finding out what his foot had bumped into, he and the female both agreed to hightail it out of there...Years later, after being married for some time, they were watching an interview with the serial killer, Ted Bundy.
In response to a question asking him to describe the time that he felt the closest to being caught, he explained about the night that he lured a girl into Provo Canyon, and had just killed her when he heard some people coming up the trail. He explained how he hid in the trees just in time, only to watch some guy walk right into the body, and for some reason, just turn around and walk away.
Time for a Detour
First month, I was a student at college; I was bored and lonely and decided to walk to my best friend's house across town at midnight. It was a walk I'd made several times with no issues, but this time when I got to the edge of the campus parking lots, I had a gut feeling hit me that I needed to go back to my dorm, NOW. I did, and the next morning a campus alert went out through email that around 12:30 that morning, a student had been attacked in the parking lot I'd have had to pass through.
Not All Rest is Easy
girl wearing black vest raising two hands near green grass field during daytimePhoto by Eye for Ebony on UnsplashAbout six years ago, my sister and her family were visiting. Her daughter—four months old at the time—was napping in the house while the adults were hanging outside. I went into the house to grab something and glanced over at my niece. She was limp and strange looking, like spaced out. It really freaked me out, so I picked her up, panicking a bit, and handed her to my brother-in-law.
By this time, she was back to normal, so we shrugged it off. I said something like "Oh I forgot how babies look when they sleep." Within 1-2 days, my niece started having 10 seizures a day. What I had witnessed was a seizure. That was the beginning of a multi-year nightmare of seizures, hospital visits, neurological testing, and many different types of anti-seizure meds.
She was diagnosed with a seizure disorder. Thankfully, the docs found meds that worked, her seizures went away, and she was eventually weaned off her medication. She has been seizure free for four years! Now she is a healthy, beautiful and happy little lady!
You Nearly Blue Your Life Away
A guy dyed blue came into the motel lobby at 1 am. In and of itself, not terribly unusual. Clubs get out, you see folks with body paint, foam, etc. But he just seemed "off." When he came up to the counter, I took a step back. Which is why his bowie knife hit my tie and not my neck. Slammed the fire door down, called the cops.
Wasn't difficult for them to find a bright blue guy (who got naked for some reason after I slammed the door) running around in the snow at 1 am.
Just Say No, Mmmkay
At a research institute, I walked into a mouse procedure/surgery room for a quick moment to grab something and leave. After walking out I felt, well to be honest, like I was a little high. There were three other people in that room, including 2 undergraduates so I got worried and went back inside to check things out. When I got back inside I asked if they were feeling ok, one of the undergrads turned to me and said she was fine, but was flushed and looked a little out of it.
So I went around to all the isoflurane chambers (odorless volatile liquid that KOs mammals at low doses and kills them at higher) looking for leaks. Sure enough, the gasket at the bottom of one of the chambers had failed and it was leaking out and immediately boiling into a gas, and filling the room. I told them their isoflurane was leaking, and the postdoc told me they were fine and that he uses that machine all the time.
He also pointed out that the isoflurane was in an air curtained biosafety cabinet and so even with the leak, they were protected. I called him an idiot because a biosafety cabinet recirculates air and doesn't evacuate it like a fume hood—which is what he should have been using. So I ignored him, propped open the door, and ordered the undergrads to get out of the room.
I then went to their lab manager and told her what I had found. Their lab manager came down like the wrath of God.
Crazy Step Mother
My father started publicly dating a woman shortly after my mother died—I later learned she's likely the woman he'd been having an affair with before she died. I liked her. One evening my father took me to one side and asked how I'd feel about him asking her to marry him. I got an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and felt nauseated.
I told my father I didn't want him to and he asked why as he thought I liked her. I explained that I did like her but had a bad feeling and he said: "that's just a feeling, they don't mean anything." He already had the ring and proposed straight away. I got really excited about the engagement, the wedding, moving house, and my impending little sister.
After the wedding, she changed. And when my half-sister was born, she went crazy. She abused me, my sister (my mother's child), and later, my half-sister (her own child). He only left her when my doctor told him something was clearly going on with her that was affecting my health. She was putting a substance that I'm intolerant to in my food and my father wouldn't believe me and would force me to eat whatever she made.
However, I couldn't get a doctor alone without her to tell them. My maternal grandmother told him if he didn't leave her she'd go for custody that he finally left her. He accused me of lying for the entire time leading up to that and has never asked me about any of my attempts to get help since.
Day Care Don’t
Posted this before...took my two babies to an in-home daycare run by a lovely woman. About nine days in, the woman’s teenage son was home when I picked up my kids. He gave me a super creepy vibe. Pulled the kids from the daycare and placed them elsewhere. Maybe 10 years later that kid shot two people then shot his mom.
Have Heart, Not a Heart Attack
man wearing black crew-neck topPhoto by Adrian Swancar on UnsplashCame back to work after a week off for Christmas vacation and immediately noticed something was off with my friend. I had no clue what it was, but I just knew was something was wrong with him, but I couldn't explain what it was. I kept asking him if he was alright, but he kept saying everything was fine. On the second day, he came up to me and asked me how to do something that I know he knew how to do; I had trained him on how to do it.
I became very concerned at this point. The third day was New Year’s Eve, so we only had a half day and he was working on a spreadsheet. End of the day came around and I took one look at it and I could have printed it out and called it modern art, that's how horrifying it looked. I called the boss over and he pulled him off of it which caused my friend to break down and start crying because he couldn't understand that he had done anything wrong.
I was moving to a new place over our day and a half off, so I simply told him that something was wrong with him and he needed to get some help. We came back in for one day on Friday and my friend wasn't there. I learned that he was in the hospital because of a heart attack. Later on, we learned that during the days leading up he was suffering from mini strokes and that all of my constant nagging about if he was alright ultimately led to him thinking that maybe there is something wrong with him.
So, he called a taxi to take him to the ER on New Year’s Eve where they immediately recognized that he was having a heart attack. A doctor later told him that if he had not gone to the ER when he did, he would not have woken up if he'd gone to sleep that night. Because of this, my friend says that I saved his life through the power of our friendship.
Granny Senses
Not mine but my grandma's. We went camping at this one spot in the woods by a small creek every summer. One summer she gets this bad feeling and makes us pack up and we leave. Couple days later they end up finding a dead body right near our then-campsite.
Mom Knows When Something Is Wrong
My mom had one. I was there with my brother but we didn't believe her at the time. Three years ago, my brother, my sister and I were supposed to meet at mom's place for dinner at 7. My mom and sister are very close; her being the firstborn, the only girl and us being a Lebanese family. Anyway, they talk throughout the day quite a bit, daily.
Around 6:30 pm, my sister is not answering phone calls or texts. My brother and I think she's asleep or just doing whatever and it's nothing to worry about. By 7:15, still nothing from my sister and my Mom at this point is pretty much saying "Something is wrong here, I can just feel it." We still don't believe her but it's not her style to worry and she is really now worrying.
I call up her now ex-husband who was at a conference saying we haven't heard from my sister. It turns out neither has he. I asked if he knew her iTunes credentials so I could track her phone. Turns out she was at home. We called a friend, sent someone knocking at her door, and no answer. My mom started driving there and made the decision that we need to break into the house.
She texted her friends to kick the door down. They did and found my sister unconscious. She had a major stroke and a concussion. The aftermath was very, very difficult. I won't write a novel and be brief. Major stroke, concussion and required open heart surgery. Was told she may never talk and would likely be a vegetable and if we actually wanted to proceed with the surgeries.
We did. She's alive, she talks, she can walk with a cane and will at some point, walk without a cane. She lost everything on the left side of her body. The only part of her that may never come back is her left arm.
There Are Some Sick, Sick People Out There
Not me but my mom. When I was about ten years old I got invited to spend the night at my really good friend’s home. My mom said no. I begged her to let me go but she was adamant that I couldn't. She said she just didn't feel right about it and that no amount of pleading was going to change her mind. A few weeks later my friend’s dad was arrested for inappropriate child imagery.
After he went to trial it was found that he had also molested several young girls. He would have his daughter invite them over for a slumber party and then touch them when they went to sleep. If my mom hadn't trusted her gut feeling I could have been one of his victims.
Knowing What Is Best For Your Daughter
My oldest daughter (30-something) stopped by my work one day and introduced her new boyfriend. He seemed a little off to me, but I decided it was just "guy dating my daughter" and let it go. Later, he met my wife and I and she told me later that he seemed off to her, too. She has pretty good instincts about people, so we decided to investigate him a bit.
Typing his whole name into Google, the first result was a mugshot from a couple of years ago. The third was an active warrant. More searching resulted in finding three warrants from different counties, an extensive record (check deception, theft, driving while suspended, driving after a lifetime suspension, and driving while a habitual traffic offender), and a brand-new marriage license for him and my daughter. They were going to get married later that week.
We, of course, told her about him, but she insisted that he'd already told her about all of that and had "taken care of it." We emailed links to her roommate, who showed her, but she didn't have any luck talking her out of the relationship. They were in love, and everything would work out OK in the end.
We sent in an anonymous tip, and he was arrested the next day at her apartment. My daughter then found out that he'd been lying to her about pretty much everything. He had entangled her in a business he was trying to start that mostly involved her financing things for him, because his credit was trash due to records for bounced checks and theft. She's still working to untangle herself from that.
He is still in jail, and, according to her lawyer, will be for at least two years depending on what happens in two other counties.
Men can be a mystery.
They like to hide as much as they can about themselves.
In truth, the rest of the world already suspects most of whatever behaviors they're trying to bury.
But often, it's so healthy to unburden yourself whenever you can.
Isn't it also comforting to know we aren't alone on this?
You do that? ME TOO!
Redditor Miguenzo wanted all the men out there to make some confessions, so they asked:
"What is something all guys do but will never admit to doing?"
Going to the bathroom sitting down more often than you think.
That's a guy truth I'll admit to.
I like to be comfortable.
Playtime
U Know Flirt GIF by WimbledonGiphy"I play with my penis more than any other object, by far."
killsafety
"And not even in a sexual way. Sometimes just flopping it from left to right while watching TV."
OneMorePotion
"This is what my wife had a hard time understanding. Just cause I'm messing with it, doesn't mean I'm aroused. I'm just fidgeting and that's my object."
Cigarettelegs
HER
"Imagine your entire life with a girl you just met."
Old_Situation4990
"Did this this weekend. The most beautiful woman working as a barmaid I have ever seen."
"However, I know it's annoying having someone hit on you while working and working in a bar she must get it all the time. so I kept quiet ordered my drinks and didn't bother her. She remembered what I was drinking by the 3rd drink. that was enough for me. LMAO."
EngineersMasterPlan
Think About It
"Daydream about insane scenarios that will never happen where you're the main hero that swoops in to save the day. Common examples include things like thinking you could figure out how to land an entire airplane in an emergency, thinking about 'What happens if there's a robbery and I stop the bad guy,' thinking about saving someone from a burning building, thinking you could save someone's life if there's a random medical emergency, etc."
bbbbbthatsfivebees
Spoons and Forks
"Not sure if this is for all guys, but my BF will never ever admit that he prefers to be the little spoon 😭."
raviolixx
"I’m over a foot taller than my wife, so I often joke that 'she’s my better third.' But I HATE being a big spoon. Nothing makes me happier in my marriage like being a little spoon, curled up, while she runs her fingers through my hair… Just thinking about is releasing the endorphins. We will hit 29 years together in a couple of months, and it not only never gets old, it gets better with age."
ZacInStl
Pick Away
jason clarke flirting GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Nose picking is more common than anyone will admit."
oldwhitch
"Nose picking is probably the most efficient way to get uncomfortable buggers out of your nose."
AllDressedJalapenos
Ugh. Nose pickers. Stop it. Just stop it!
Whoops
Uh Oh Oops GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"Morning pees sometimes go sideways and there's annoying cleaning up to do."
Apprehensive_Sky9062
Sniffed
"Sniff our armpits to be sure they don't stink or we enjoy the smell."
Individual-Option514
"This one is def gender neutral. I've had several girlfriends be embarrassed that I 'caught them' smell-checking themselves. As if they thought it was some secret weird thing they do and nobody else did. LOL."
Zeallust
"When I get nervous I stick my hands under my arms and then I sniff my armpit smell off my fingers and it calms me back down."
Papaya_flight
Inch by Inch
"Measuring their penis. Yeah, some will admit it. But some refuse to admit it."
Just4TheSpamAndEggs
"I don’t need a tape measure to know what disappointment looks like."
flightlessf**kbucket
Haven't done it in a while. At this point, I'm too afraid it's gotten smaller. If that's possible."
Double_Win_9405
"I have honestly never measured my d*ck. Girls I dated did. The numbers really mean nothing to me. I only cared if it was too small. Once girls told me it wasn't, I was satisfied."
esoteric_enigma
I Feel Pretty
"Being friendlier to attractive women."
JoeSchmoe314159
"Attractive women are scarier for many, so a lot of us probably come off as aloof or rude whatever towards them because we just kind of ignore them (actually are just too nervous to address them directly)."
"This isn't such a thing for me now that I'm in my 30s and have a long-time committed partner. No pressure... lol. But I know when I was a younger guy in the dating pool, the very attractive women were terrifying... lol."
bossmcsauce
"Attractive people actually get treated better in most areas of life in general. It’s called Pretty Privilege. Attractive people are trusted more easily, looked up to more, invited to more things, talked to more, can get a raise easier, and obviously can date easier."
Ur_Fav_Step-Redditor
At least once
"If you're single; Having feelings/Attraction to almost every female friend you've got. Doesn't have to be strong feelings. Doesn't have to be romantic. But you've thought about it. At least once. Maybe three times."
TA2556
"Definitely not universal. This stopped happening to me after I started and finished one major relationship."
"You develop a sense for what you actually want -- and how much more valuable friendship can be than any random romance."
"Also, as a straight guy, having uncomplicated friendships with multiple women is a great way to just get out in life, meet people and situations you never would've otherwise, and not bog down your own psyche. Really elevated my 20s."
MRIchalk
Underneath
wicked GIF by Ice CubeGiphy"Kicking ice cube under the fridge when falls."
Subject-Inflation805
"Gotta feed those shadow critters."
UnRealmCorp
I love the ice cube kick.
I think it's gender universal.
