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People Debate Their All-Time Favorite Pasta Shapes

We all have strong opinions about something, but when we think of opinions, we often think of hot button topics like political subjects.

But as it turns out, sometimes we can have just as strong of opinions of our preferred types of pasta.

Redditor PeeB4uGoToBed asked:

"What's the best pasta shape and why?"

The Right Answer

"I prefer my pasta, like my nuggets, to be dinosaur-shaped."

- bearstrugglethunder

"This is my true answer, but if I have to pretend to be an adult, I always say Cavatappi."

- YourGlacier


"Radiatori. Thick and perfect for pasta sauces."

- AuthenticVanillaOwl

"They're so fun. They're my favorite, ahead of rotini. I just like ridges, I guess."

- arcosapphire



- floatingvibes

"Best for mac and cheese."

- pacheckyourself

"My first time having cavatappi mac and cheese changed my life."

- Salt_Blackberry_1903

"Cavatappi gang, RISE UP."

- Sharp_Easy


​"I see your cavatappi and raise you cavatelli."

- dumbf**k

"Cavatelli is the bee's knees, man."

- elhooper


"Conchiglie (shells)."

"The shell shape stores cheese and sauces, so with each bite, you get tons of flavor."

- WingerRules

"Yes! Mac n cheese always tastes amazing with Conchiglie, I don't make the rules."

- Inconvenient-Pebble9


"Rigatoni. My favorite dish is baked rigatoni with bolognese. I love the texture of the ridges and the larger hollow part scoops up the sauce very well as compared to ziti or penne."

- AllDressedJalapenos


"Cascatelli. Some crazy f**k got obsessed with answering the OP's question and invented this."

- PhantomMenaceWasOK


"Cascatelli is great, but his second round of shapes, specifically vesuvio, might be better."

- mriners

"Agreed. Vesuvio is peak."

- jll3523


"I prefer quattrotini. I find it has better forkability and toothsinkability."

- banjo215


"Fusilli because it's silly."

- HorrorxHeart


"Bucatini is the best of all worlds. You have everything that's great about the long noodles and it's hollow! It absorbs sauce and oil on the inside."

- winterORgethen

"I hate bucatini! You can't suck a protruding part into your mouth because of the hole in the middle. You can't pick it up with a fork, because it's too slippery with sauce."

- CalTechie-55


"Penne... because the sauce is in AND on it, lol (laughing out loud)."

- secretxamy



- Realistic_Try_6738

"The pasta that would literally drive me insane if I tried to make it from scratch."

- BullsOnParadeFloats



- Preference-Best

"I came to say this. Just something about it. Amazing mouth feel. Great texture. Good with light and heavy, meaty sauces."

- Fracture_98

"This one. There’s something so nostalgic about it for me. And I feel like it does well with most sauces. A very versatile shape for a variety of pasta dishes."

- BlueHeelerChemist


"Linguine: the spaghetti that went to private school."

- feeflet

"I am totally on board with linguine. Flat to catch the sauce and thin enough to cook evenly for the perfect consistency! Pairs with many sauces too!"

- Odd_Calligrapher_407



"Flat pasta is better than round pasta (like spaghetti) for sauces and flavors being absorbed. It's long enough to give the lady and the tramp vibes and not feel like you're a kid eating some superhero shapes out of a bowl like Fusilli and Farfalle can give off."

"It's thicker than tagliatelle to give it enough girth to feel like more of a main event than just being the bed your sauce and toppings sit on."

"Overall, it's just the best all-rounder in my book."

- bawjaws2000

This conversation just goes to show how many pasta options there actually are in the world, some that we may have not even heard of yet, because of them being invented in 2020!

But it also goes to show that we all have our favorites, and we can have very strong opinions about them.

Mind-Blowing Facts About The Human Body
Photo by MARK ADRIANE on Unsplash

Few things are as complex and interesting to us as our own bodies. Hundreds of thousands of years of evolution have served to make us one of the true marvels of nature. And yet most of us spend so little time thinking about it. It takes intricate cooperation between thousands of working parts just to keep us alive. Understanding those pieces that make us who we are and how they work together is both fascinating and important. Here are our favorite facts about the human body!

1. Getting Skinnier

Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour. That adds up to about 1.5 pounds every year.

In fact, most of the dust underneath your bed is probably your own dead skin.

2. Baby Bones

A human baby has 99 more bones than an adult.

A baby's skeleton is mostly made up of cartilage. As a person grows up, most of this cartilage turns into adult bone through a process called ossification. This process results in the fusing of certain bones. Consequently, newborn babies have around 305 bones, while an adult has just 206 bones.

3. A Few Small Pieces

An adult human being is made of approximately 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms. (For reference, that's 7 Octillion, or more than 7 trillion trillion.)

Obviously, this varies based on the size of the person and their body composition.

4. Born To Be Astronauts

We've all seen the movies: if you're ever thrown out into the vacuum of space, you can basically expect to disintegrate, right? Or your blood will boil, or something.

Not true! Turns out, we're made of tougher stuff than Hollywood seems to think. For example, although many liquids do boil in open space, our blood is kept in check by our circulatory system and would, therefore, be OK. Freezing isn't a concern either, as a vacuum actually acts as a pretty good insulator.

It's not all good news though: your death would still be pretty gruesome. The lack of air will render you unconscious in about 15 seconds... before you asphyxiate and die in about a minute. Then your body would float alone through the vast emptiness of space until... Look, it gets ugly. That's all we'll say about that.

5. Noses > Eyes

Researchers estimate that the average human being can distinguish between 1 trillion different odors. This is much more acute than the human eye, which can distinguish only about 10 million different colors.

Noses truly are the vanilla of the human body: wildly underappreciated, and they smell great.

6. Humans Are Gross

Ready to get grossed out?

In a lifetime, an average person produces about 25,000 quarts of saliva—enough to fill two swimming pools. We also produce about a liter of mucus per day.

Interestingly enough, though, all that saliva plays an absolutely crucial role in keeping us clean. Consequently, people who have low levels of saliva are far more vulnerable to oral infections and cavities.

7. Mining The Body

Your body has enough iron in it to forge a metal nail that is 3-inches long. But that's not all. You also have enough sulfur to kill all the fleas on an average dog, enough carbon to make 900 pencils, enough potassium to fire a toy cannon, enough fat to make 7 bars of soap, enough phosphorous to make 2,200 match heads, and enough water to fill a ten-gallon tank.

8. Close Your Eyes

We all have tiny mites living in our eyelashes. These little mites actually aren't too choosey; they’ll live anywhere as long as they have access hair follicles. They’re found on other parts of the body and on a host of other mammals.

9. The Strongest Muscle In The Body

Pound for pound, the strongest muscle in the human body is the masseter (jaw muscle). It can clamp your chompers shut with 55 pounds of force on the incisors and 200 pounds of force on the molars.

10. Evolution Stinks!

One prevailing theory as to why butt hair exists is that there's simply no significant evolutionary pressure against butt hair. I.e. it doesn’t affect our ability to mate, so the random mutations that caused butt hair persisted.

Other theories take a smellier view of things, suggesting that butt hair helps scent communication. We have body hair in the same areas where we produce odors. The hair is there to hold onto oily secretions that have their own smell and are consumed by bacteria that produces even more smells. Early human ancestors used their personal smell to actually help them with everything from broadcasting territorial rights to attracting mates.

11. Growing Strong

Your ears and nose will never stop growing until the day you die.

In fact, your earlobes will also elongate from gravity.

12. Careful What You Lick

Similar to fingerprints, everyone also has a unique tongue print. It may be some time before your local police station starts taking tongue prints, but research on the required 3-D imaging technology is already being developed and tested.

Remember: if you're ever going to get involved in a million-dollar art heist, or some kind of grisly murder, absolutely do not lick the crime scene.

13. Steel Bones

Ounce for ounce, human bones are stronger than steel. A cubic inch of bone can bear a load of 19,000 lbs.—roughly the weight of five pickup trucks.

Reminder: this is not a dare. Do not (for example) ask your friends to drive 5 loaded pickup trucks over your forearm. It won't end well.

14. Booze and Blue

People with blue eyes have a higher alcohol tolerance. Interestingly, they also have higher rates of alcohol abuse and dependency.

15. Humans 1, Robots 0

If the human eye was a digital camera it would have 576 megapixels. Currently, the most expensive digital camera in the world has 200 megapixels.

Take that technology! The robot uprising might be inevitable but it's going to be so blurry.

16. Bacteria: Man's Best Friend

All of the bacteria in our body collectively weighs about 4 pounds. That’s enough to fill a gigantic bowl of (truly disgusting) soup.

In fact, there are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people in the world.

17. Music And The Body

In some cardiovascular units, slow and quiet music is used to relax the patients and lower their blood pressure and heart rate.

This new frontier in medical science actually harkens back to some of our most ancient ancestors. The Ancient Greeks, for example, liked to use music as a method of calming a patient and soothing pain. Native Africans and Native Americans also used chanting and singing as part of their healing rituals.

Once again, science is proving the logic behind some seemingly superstituous human behavior. Fasctinating stuff.

18. Brain Power

Your brain accounts for only 2% of your body weight, yet it uses 20% of the total oxygen and blood in your body.

It's fascinating. That little grey blob weighs just about 4 pounds, and yet is quite possibly responsible for essentially all of our success as a species.

This also shows that, at least when it comes to brain power, bigger is not always better. Cows, whales, and elephants (in addition to many other creatures) all have much bigger brains than we do. And yet we eat steak like it's no big deal. Guess we're winning, right?

19. Deoxyribonucleic Acid (DNA)

If uncoiled, the DNA in all of your body’s cells would stretch 10 billion miles.

That's long enough to reach from here to Pluto... and back!

20. The Ultimate Betrayal

Within three days of death, the enzymes that once digested your dinner begin to eat you. Ruptured cells will become food for the bacteria in your gut, which will release enough noxious gas to bloat your body and force your eyes to bulge outward.

Whatever happened to loyalty?

21. Super Storage

In a lifetime, your brain's long-term memory can hold up to 1 quadrillion (1 million billion) bits of information.

And for such a powerful computer, it's also incredibly efficient. The entire apparatus of your brain is operated by roughly the same amount of power as a 10-Watt lightbulb.

22. The Hot Dog's Journey

The gastrointestinal tract is a 30-foot tube that runs from your mouth to your anus.

There’s a few moving parts, but a long story short is that food comes in and poop goes out. There you go, now you're an expert on human digestion.

23. Not-So Hairless Apes

It might not seem like it when you look around, but human beings actually have just as many hair follicles as a chimpanzee.

Here's the catch: our hairs are, for the most part, incredibly fine and light-colored. No one is quite sure why we lost our impressive fur coats, though. Some think it was an adaption to help us sweat more effeciently. Others say it was a method for avoiding fleas and ticks.

Whatever the reason, it's a fun thought.

24. The Electric Heart

Your heart has its own electrical impulse. This means that as long as it has an oxygen supply, your heart can keep beating even if it’s separated from the body.

Your heart will also pump about 1.5 million barrels of blood during your lifetime. That’s enough to fill 200 train tank cars.

25. Brain Age

Your brain keeps developing until your late 40s.

26. Sweet Cilia

Our lungs and nasal passages have exquisitely tiny hairs called cilia that can "taste" bitter flavors. They also serve to remove dust and foreign particles from the respiratory tract.

24. You Feel Me?

Human fingers can feel objects as small as 13 nanometers. This means that if your finger was the size of the Earth, you would feel the difference between houses and cars.

28. Hot Body

The highest recorded body temperature in a human being was a fever of 115.7°F. A fever over 107.5°F is enough to damage the brain and, if untreated, cause death.

29. Touch Your Heart

The human heart is not on the left-hand side of the body. It’s in middle of your chest, in between your right and left lung. It is, however, tilted very slightly to the left.

30. Brain Genes

Half of your genes describe the complex design of your brain, with the other half describing the organization of the other 98% of your body.

31. Human Cell Replacement

Your taste buds are replaced every 10 days. Conversely, the average age of a human fat cell is 10 years.

32. To Shave or Not to Shave?

There is no scientific evidence that shaving or waxing will make your hair come back thicker. There are believed to be two reasons that the myth continues to flourish. First, humans just aren’t the best observers. Second, hair often does grow back thicker when people first start to shave, but this isn’t caused by shaving.

When an adolescent boy shaves his mustache for the first time, it’s likely to grow back thicker. This isn’t because shaving caused this; it’s because the hormonal changes in his body (which occur regardless of shaving) are encouraging new and thicker facial hair growth.

33. Human Differences

1 in 10,000 people has their internal organs reversed or "mirrored" from their normal positions. The condition is called situs inversus.

1 person out of every 200 people has an extra rib.

34. The Pinky Is The Powerhouse Of The Hand

Without your pinky finger, you would lose about 50% of your hand strength. While the index and middle fingers function with the thumb in pinching and grabbing, it’s the pinkie that teams up with the ring finger to provide grip power.

35. Keeping Cool Down There

Men's testicles hang between the legs to keep cool because sperm dies at body temperature. Keeping those baby-makers cool is a top priority, so make sure to keep your laptop off those bad boys!

36. Underappreciated

You've probably heard that the appendix is essentially a waste of space. Just a leftover from our earliet, less-evolved ancestors... right?

That’s turned out not to be the case. Scientists have discovered it had an essential evolutionary function: the appendix functions as a “safe house” for the beneficial bacteria that live in the human gut. Bacteria which, by the way, scientists are beginning to believe has an unbelievably positive influence on physical and mental health.

Thanks appendix... sorry for the bad rap.

37. Well...

Your mouth is made of the same skin cells as a vagina. Flattened epithelial cells are well suited to areas in the body subject to constant abrasion, as layers can be sloughed off and replaced before quickly.

38. Cute Little Muscles

Muscle comes from the Latin “musculus.” Musculus means "little mouse,” and this was used to describe muscles because biceps were thought to look like mice.

39. Liar, Liar

Are you surrounded by pathalogical liars? Here's how to find out...

While a person is telling a lie, they tend to blink far less frequently than normal. Think of a TV murderer with a shark-like stare.

Later, though, after the lie is told, a person will immediately make up for all that staring by blinking about 8 times faster than normal.

Clearly our eyelids are incredibly honest, and are doing everything in their power to signal the truth—whether we want to or not.

40. Who Said That?

More than 3% of people are born with phonagnosia: they can't recognize the voices of familiar people. People suffering from phonagnosia do not suffer from aphasia (an inability to comprehend and formulate language), which suggests that separate areas of the brain govern linguistic comprehension and voice recognition.

41. Annoying? Yes. Unhealthy? Maybe Not

A scientist cracked his knuckles on one hand for over 50 years to prove it did not cause Arthritis. After 50 years, he concluded that there was no arthritis in either hand, and no apparent differences between the two hands. This is, of course, a rather small data set, but it’s interesting none the less!

Hats off to the brave man who risked arthritis (as well as dirty looks from all his friends) in the name of science.

42. Starting Your Morning Off Right

You can burn 20% more fat by exercising in the morning on an empty stomach. Sex burns 3.6 calories a minute, so fifteen minutes of morning sex should burn off 130 calories.

43. Genes: They're Complicated

Humans have no more genes than worms. We have less genes than a tomato. How could this be, given that the all-powerful homo sapiens are clearly a more complex species? We’re not sure, but scientist have noted that the number of genes in the genome may be less linked to complexity than we thought.

44. Coughing At The Speed Of Sound

A strong cough forces air out of the airways at speeds up to 620 mph, which is almost as fast as the speed of sound.

45. Hear That?

Hearing is the fastest human sense.

Your brain can recognize a sound 10 times faster than the blink of an eye. That's as little as 0.05 seconds.

You heard it here first: the most effecient way to get someone's attention from across the room is not to wave at them— it's to scream at the top of your lungs.

46. Controversial Bras

Bras make breasts sag. They also do not reduce back pain.

A leading study found that women who never wore bras had nipples an average of seven millimeters higher each year than regular bra users. Before you go throwing away your bras, note that the benefits of not wearing a bra will only be seen in younger women who are not obese, according to those managing the study.

47. Recovering From The Miracle Of Birth

After child birth, a woman's vaginal muscles can take up to 6 months to get back to their normal shape and size.

48. A Green Diet

We can't digest grass because our bodies don't have what it takes to break down the cellulose found in the plant. Grass also contains a lot of silica, an abrasive that quickly wears down teeth, so your dentist wouldn’t be thrilled about a grass diet. Grazing animals have teeth that continually grow to replace worn tooth surfaces.

49. Weight-Bearing Toe

Your big toe carries more weight than any other toe, bearing about 40% of your body weight. To enlist in the United States army, you need to have all ten toes intact.

50. Stinky Humans

Sweat itself is odorless. It's the bacteria on the skin that mingles with it and produces body odor. Bacteria that are naturally present on our skin thrive in sweaty regions.

View from above of four seated diners at a restaruant
Dan Gold/Unsplash

Hungry customers could think of plenty of reasons to try out a new restaurant.

It could be good word of mouth found on Yelp reviews, a personal recommendation, or just plain curiosity in the spirit of adventure.

And while diners can be influenced and easily persuaded to walk into an eatery they haven't tried before, customers are not without the certain criteria they're entitled to.

Keep reading...Show less
Two young people talking on a dock.
Photo by Anna Hecker on Unsplash

Any couple who comes to a mutual understanding that there is no future and/or chemistry in their relationship should consider themselves lucky.

After all, when one half of a couple surprises the other with their desire to break up, it's never a pretty scene

Largely owing to the fact that the one being dumped often wants a reason "why."

While some people use that age-old, eternally unsatisfying excuse "it's not you, it's me", others can be a little more specific.

Lack of chemistry, not enough in common, wanting different things, lives going in different directions.

In some cases, the reason people decide to end their relationships might be a little more specific, and incredibly strange to boot.

Keep reading...Show less
'Excuse Me What??' The Wildest Things People Have Overheard
Photo by Nachristos on Unsplash

There are thousands of interesting conversations happening every day behind closed doors, but some of those doors may not be as firmly closed as people would hope. These Redditors share their stories of when they heard something that was absolutely not meant for them, whether they wanted to hear it or not.

1. Rant Like Nobody’s Listening

I just got back home from spring break and I left the gate open to our driveway because my mom told me that my sister and her wife were coming to pick something up. I was sitting in the office room immediately to the left of the front door. My sister barged in angry that I had left the gate open and starting ranting to her wife.

“He is such a sorry loser that he can’t even close a gate. He is just going to stay in this tiny town and do nothing with his life! He is just going to be some dumpy middle school coach like the rest of them.” I grew up in a small Texas town that had a huge poverty problem. She said some other things to her wife while I just sat silently and didn’t move at all.

After about a minute or two, I made a loud enough noise that I know my sister heard and she gasped. She left immediately and we never spoke about it again; we barely even spoke at all after that.


2. A Dazzling Lack Of Logical Thinking

My aunt and her husband offered out of the blue to buy a house and sell it to my parents at a very low rate. My family was very excited and gracious for the help as we had been stuck in our very old and tiny house for a long time and unable to move due to the financial burden my parents had to endure because my brother and I had various medical issues.

In the following months, our grandmother paid for our family plus my aunt's to go on vacation and I was excited to take my boyfriend of five years with us. When we got there my aunt asked if I could watch her 8- and 9-year-old stepsons while she and her husband went out to see the area. Now normally it would have been fine.

But I watch kids at my job all day and it was a family vacation with lots of other adults to watch them, I said no because my boyfriend would have had to entertain himself or be roped into babysitting with me. She smiled and said, "Sure no problem." And I thought that was the end of it. I was so wrong. Several weeks after the vacation I overheard my mom on the phone.

She was talking to my grandma in a furious voice about how my aunt decided to not help us with the house because I decided to not watch HER stepchildren on vacation and that we should be more gracious to them because they were being so generous. Needless to say, we no longer speak to that aunt and my parents never blamed me for my choice.


3. Money Can’t Buy Happiness

I work nights right next to a bar. The conversation that's stuck with me the most was when someone's baby mama found them and started a one-sided shouting match outside the window. She said something along the lines of, "You've got a million dollars in your bank account and still can't take care of your kids." Saw her running and screaming at him as he got in his car and drove off.


4. Food Fight

I've overheard a lot of great stuff while riding the bus. One time I get on and there are only two other riders. They're in the back cussing at each other loudly. Both these dudes were big guys and dressed like total punks with the leather, spikes, and grungy jeans. Obviously, me being a wussy kid I'm not sitting anywhere near these two giants.

These guys seem like they're about to start swinging at each other. But a few moments in, I can start to hear what they're discussing. "Yeah! And then I put some homemade whipped cream on that thing! Mmmmmmm!" They were yelling about desserts!


5. There’s A Lot Going On

Senior year of high school, I popped into the bathroom during lunch. While in the stall, three girls come in talking loudly about who even cares what. Then one of them asks, "So how is pregnancy treating you?" A different girl answers with absolutely no change in her cheery attitude, "Oh, we lost the baby. We're gonna try again when he gets out of prison."

First girl at least sounds a little sad when she adds, "That sucks, but I totally get why you're doing this. If your mom won't let you be together..." Finish up my business and walk out of the stall to see two freshmen and a sophomore who should be a junior...


6. A Quick A Wit As Ever

I was in a thrift store a few days ago, and there were these two older men in there, talking very loudly. One picked something up and kind of yelped and the other guy goes, “You must’ve looked in a mirror.” Old people roasting each other is some of the funniest stuff ever.


7. You’re Wrong If You Do, You’re Wrong If You Don’t

I speak French and when I was about 18, I was walking on the sidewalk near an outdoor pool. A bunch of teens about my age were walking on the sidewalk towards me, all in bikinis. Not wanting to be rude I passed them without checking them out or anything. Then as I passed and kept walking, I heard one say in French, “He didn’t even look at me!”

Then the others consoled her and confirmed that she was hot enough to be checked out. They went so far as to say that I was being a jerk and maybe I didn’t think her beauty should be acknowledged. I was just flabbergasted.


8. What Happens In Vegas… Makes Others Sad

One time when I was in Las Vegas, I woke up and overheard my dad begging my mom to let him buy a working girl. I could hear the pain and hurt in my mother’s voice. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.


9. A Multilingual City

I was eating in a restaurant in Amsterdam and was speaking English with the waiter. There were two women sitting next to my table speaking in German about basically everyone that came into the restaurant. I knew that the waiter spoke German so after about 30 mins of the German women's nonsense, I spoke in my best German to the waiter.

I told him that I found it wonderful that there are so many languages spoken in Holland and that everyone here is always so kind. These two women turned to look at me with the same beet-red faces. Priceless!


10. Lose The Man, Keep The Mess

When my first marriage ended, I had depression and struggled with motivation to do anything really. My house wasn't dirty, but it was untidy. I went away overnight for work and my parents were feeding my cats, I had a cat cam set up and I logged on while my parents were there and heard my dad saying, “I don't blame him for leaving her, look at the state of this place.”

My husband was terrible and cheated on me constantly for our whole 10-year relationship, but it was me leaving a couple of shoeboxes around that tipped him over the edge…


11. Good Thing She’s Got Harry

This lady sitting behind me was just tearing her dude apart while on the phone with a friend. The two lines I remember were, "He's fine, but he's got no ambition," and "I don't even let him touch me. I've got Harry for that. God, if he didn't make good money, I'd leave him."


12. That’s A Lot To Keep Hidden

I accidentally overheard my parents discussing whether to tell me and my four siblings that my dad had three children from a relationship he started at 16 over 40 years ago. My parents told us all together the next day. They only told us because the eldest of the three was sick and needed help.


13. We All Make Choices In Life, Some Are Better Than Others

When I was a teen, I overheard two women chatting at the supermarket. One told the other that she and her husband recently installed a surveillance camera in their 14-year-old daughter’s room and that the time would soon come where she would have to confess to her daughter. And do you want to know the worst part? She spoke about the confession like she didn’t do anything wrong and it was an inconvenience.


14. I Hope They Have Insurance

I was about 15 and waiting to be seen by my eye doctor. I think I got there early and was in the waiting room. There was no one else in there. However, I heard two doctors behind the wall talking about some patient and whether to offer a surgery. Essentially, they said the patient didn't need the surgery but they could make a decent sum of money, so they should encourage the patient to go through with it.


15. 3 Minute Wonder

The guy above my old apartment was a single dude. We barely spoke, but that's basically the one thing I knew about him. He'd occasionally have a new girl over, and I could hear him boinkin' whatever girl he brought over. I'm not trying to talk smack about the guy with this, but he and whatever chick would go at it maybe three minutes tops.

One night, he had a new girl over. I could hear mainly her, but after maybe thirty seconds—sudden silence, followed by this chick bursting into laughter. I heard her leave maybe five minutes afterward.


16. There Is A Right And A Wrong Way To Do Things

I wasn't exactly eavesdropping, because she knew I was there. Honestly, that makes it even more messed up: One night when I was about 11, I was doing my homework at the dinner table while my mother was on the phone with her best friend, and she just casually dropped the news that she was divorcing my dad. We had a cordless phone too.

It's not like she couldn't have left the room to have that conversation somewhere her fairly young, completely unsuspecting child wouldn't hear it?


17. You Get What You Pay For

I had just secured a place for my family to live with an old college friend and their family. My partner and I helped a lot around the house trying to make it sanitary and did the dishes on the regular. It became obvious we were just picking up after them at this point and they were not helping one bit. My friend mentioned to their mother-in-law that they felt bad.

She thought it was wrong that we were constantly picking up after them, to which she replied, "Well they are guests here, they should be pulling their weight, they're freeloaders if not." My friend agreed. Mind you, we were paying rent and allowing them to buy food off of our stamps since things were tight for everyone.

We stopped cleaning up after them, and told them we needed the money for our own food. The house was trashed in less than a week.


18. Maybe Walk Down The Street Next Time

My ex thought I was sleeping. She went out on the back patio which was under my master bedroom window that was open. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but overheard her talking to her friend about how they were both seducing an old man for money and pills.


19. Rules To Live By

At a 21st birthday party, a friend and I were having a smoke break. We heard two people leaving the party and talking in quite a distressed manner. One guy says to the other, “Mate, no matter how you’ve had to drink, never try and kiss your mate's mum.” I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder.


20. Not Something To Brag About

I was on a bus once and I heard two guys sitting on the seat next to me. I was dozing off, but just woke up to hear one of the most messed up things I have ever heard. So, this guy was just telling the other guy how his mother and his brother used his father's retirement money to build a house and kicked him out later mercilessly.

He was smiling the whole time. He even showed the other guy a video in which his father was being interviewed by a local news channel to request people donate some money. I don't know how bad his father was to them, but that seemed pretty cruel.


21. Best Laid Plans

My mom and I overheard her sister-in-law planning to get the mafia to take out her husband for insurance money when they were drinking in a bar. She sobered up immediately and went and told my dad about it. He got his brother to change his insurance after some convincing. The wife left him when he told her he got his insurance changed.

Apparently, she's had several families in her past that she'd left. They were going to run him off a cliff on his motorcycle ride home from work he took every night.


22. The Realities Of Farm Life

This story is told from my point of view, witnessing a stranger eavesdrop on my mom's phone conversation. We have a family farm with animals who do what animals do and make more animals. My mom and I were at a Kinko's when she received a call from our groundskeeper. Her end of the call definitely sounded a bit wild.

My mom said, "Hey, what's up? She finally had her baby? Great how's it look? …Didn't make it huh, are you sure? …That's too bad. Ok, I guess just put the body in a garbage bag and toss it in the dumpster." I'm watching this poor random customer listening in on the conversation. The growing horror on her face as the conversation went on was hilarious.

It culminated in her dropping her shopping items and hustling out of the store just as my mom hangs up the phone. I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Mom, not so much.


23. Not A Great Start To The Day

One day I'm in the office handing something in from my teacher. A school bus had never turned up to take these kids to school so they all had to get rides. I'm talking 25 kids chilling in the office getting marked late. Each kid that walks in is getting told off by these nasty rude receptionists about being irresponsible and not getting on their bus.

All the kids pretty much take the scolding. After they all leave, the receptionists laugh and say, "Oops, apparently there was no bus. Oh well it will keep them on their toes," and thought it was the funniest thing ever.


24. A Unique Turn Of Phrase

Sitting in our favorite Mexican restaurant when my friends and I hear a college-aged woman complaining to her cohorts about how awful her boyfriend was. He gave her a ring, but it's not a promise ring, nor an engagement ring! How dare he?! "It's emotional waterboarding! It's totally emotional waterboarding!" She kept going on and on.

But always came back to his actions being "emotional waterboarding! Emotional waterboarding!" It struck us as completely ridiculous and hilarious, and we've been overusing that particular phrasing ever since.


25. And They Never Spoke Again

I heard my sister hooking up at a party. I wasn’t eavesdropping on purpose, I heard it by accident. I was at a big high school house party and I was with my buddies. I walked away for a minute and on that walk, I heard noises coming from a bathroom, I listened for a second because I didn’t know what noises they were.

But I then realized they were moaning and...other stuff. I quickly walked back to my friends and said nothing until I looked over and saw my sister leaving that bathroom. I never told anyone I know and will take it to my grave. One of my worst memories.


26. Be Careful What You Wish For

At an airport, I hear a husband and wife arguing. Long story short she is angry because he had been begging her for years to have relations with another woman. And she finally did. She really enjoyed it and can’t believe he is upset. His side of the story. He then said, “Yes it has been a huge fantasy of mine, but I didn’t expect you to sleep with my sister at a family reunion after I passed out. Now my entire family knows.”

The best part was that they were at the airport traveling with the sister and other family members. He continued, “Now I have to sit over here with you, and on the plane with them for the next three hours knowing that they all know you slept with my sister.”


27. Say Cheese!

In my last apartment, I walked into my bedroom late at night, and saw a small but very bright red light in the ceiling directly over my bed, I instinctively said out loud, "What the heck is that?" The lady upstairs gasped and a male voice asked, “What's wrong?” She answers with, "OMG, it's my fiber optic cable for my camera into his room. I forgot to cover it up!!"

I thought it over, and rather than going through a long legal fight and a lawsuit, and certain criminal charges for the lady who lived above me, I put into motion a full-bore push to find a new, more secure place to live.


28. As Useless As A Million Dollars

Not really eavesdropping but reading a text. During the summer, I would babysit for my sister while her husband plays video games all day…and I mean All. Day. Nonstop. One day, I was trying to deal with the kids and they were too much for me (mind you, they’re three kids under the age of 5) so I left the kids with him and stepped out of the room to go have a frustration cry.

A few hours later, when he went to work and my sister got back from work, I was doing something on my phone and my sister was next to me texting him. The kids were all in bed by this time so it was relatively calm. I glanced at my sister’s phone and I what saw made me want to scream: It was a message from him saying that I was completely useless (in terms of babysitting).

This man sits on his behind all day while a teenager basically steps up and takes care of his kids. But apparently, I’m the useless one? Makes sense, right?


29. Rough Day

It wasn't intentional eavesdropping. I was in a conference room at work reviewing some scripts for a video coming up. And we start hearing some crying and talking in the next conference room. Apparently, they were letting someone go because she kept showing up to work intoxicated and they had warned her before.


30. All In The Family

I accidentally found out that a friend of mine got his aunt pregnant. I heard him ask someone over the phone, "Are you sure? I mean, Mom is going to be upset if she finds out. No, no, no, I'll go with you. For real, we can't see each other again? Wait, no, we can just go away...together, you know. No this it's not wrong. I love you. Please don't." When I asked about it, he told me the truth.


31. Not The Worst Thing To Overhear

I worked in a call center as one of the people who monitors calls for quality. I saw my boyfriend at the time was making a call so I tapped into the call. He was calling his dad to tell him he was going to propose to me in Cancun the following month. I felt like garbage that I heard it. Almost 22 years later I’ve never told him.


32. An Image Is Worth A Thousand Words

Not exactly eavesdropping, but I was walking behind a well-dressed man in an airport, he had a single rose in his right hand. Hair gelled, nice blazer. I was behind him thinking it looked like a nice gesture for a romantic partner. Then, without missing a step or turning his head, he raised his arm and dropped the rose into the trash as he passed a bin.

It occurred to me that I was exiting the airport and he was too. I have always wondered what happened.


33. To Each Their Own

As a teenager, my parents and I stopped for dinner on our way to our family cottage in northern Michigan. We overheard two elderly women at the table next to us discussing the life events of their grandchildren. One says to the other in a proud manner, "Well, Alice is doing great for herself, she found her life's calling with the carnival. She gets to travel and see the country."

I wish I could've taken a picture of my parents' faces in that moment; they were trying so hard not to break composure.


34. But It’s Part Of The United States

When out at dinner, two people, I'm guessing in their early twenties, were talking to each other about taking a trip to Hawaii. One said it was expensive to fly there. The other suggested they just drive a car. They seriously both thought this was a good idea. My mother was trying not to laugh to loudly but when she looked at my face, she lost her composure.


35. Don’t Judge Without Context

One time, a lady was listening in on me. My best friend and I both bought lab puppies from the same breeder. I got a black lab and she got a yellow lab. Well, I’m telling friends about our new puppies while waiting for a table at a crowded restaurant. I say, “Yes we adopted sisters! They have the same father but different mothers.”

“The father was black and my little girl took after her dad, she is so black, literally her lips, nose everything is black. My best friend’s little girl is so light she’s almost white. I guess she took after the mother.” Then I see the look of horror from a random woman listening to my conversation. Of course, from that point on I laid it on thick never once mentioning “dog” or “puppy,” only “adopted girls.”


36. What Were They Doing At College?

I once went to a nearby university campus to do some work, I work remotely most days so I can do it from anywhere. Two college girls seated right behind me in the student center were comparing old photos. I don't want to talk negatively about these two girls but they were not studying engineering or medicine at the school if you know what I mean. I was treated to the most bonkers conversation I think I have ever heard.

I think about these two dumdums all the time and it makes me laugh. These are some of the things I heard them say: "That thing is big, is that a donkey (it was a dog)?" and, "What were you even doing in that outfit, was your mom trying to make you a pizza guy?"


37. Use Your Powers For Good

At a music festival, I overheard (and saw) a few people just ripping apart their car looking for their keys, throwing things all over, and getting in a big fight amongst themselves. We went to our car to take a quick nap. I mention to my friend, “I bet these idiots don’t know they left the keys in the glove box or something.”

We wake up a few hours later, go see some music, go back to our spot and THEY ARE STILL LOOKING. Upon us walking up we hear, “Oh my god, they were in the glove box this whole entire time.” …I guess I should have said something?


38. Poor Ron

I applied for a promotion where I worked. It was between me and another guy. My experience was stronger and I'd been there longer. On the other side of my wall cubicle, two people from HR were talking and one said, "So I guess Ron didn't get the job.” And the other said, "Yeah, don't know why he even applied, didn't have a chance, what a joke.” I am Ron.


39. The Circle Of Life

I was pregnant and my water broke so I went and sat on the toilet while my husband made phone calls and did responsible about-to-be-a-new-parent things. While basically being stuck on the toilet gushing amniotic fluid, I can hear our neighbor, who we shared a wall with, turn on their shower. I then hear not one but two voices.

They proceeded to have very loud relations while I was sitting there not even three feet from them, separated by what must have been the thinnest wall, while I was in the beginning stages of labor. I literally can’t wait to tell my son this story one day.


40. What Is It?

So, we (me and my now husband) were leaving a youth hostel and there was this guy at the counter talking to the receptionist who was carefully explaining that there is a reason why they take a credit card number upon booking. At which point the guy loudly says, "But it’s everywhere! All over the bed, side table everywhere. Just give me some cleaning products and I'll clean it up.”

At this the receptionist replies, “Sorry but the mattress will have to be replaced, using the card details.” I didn’t stick around to find out whatever it was and I’m very okay with never knowing.


41. Not A Great First Experience

I was at a restaurant, and there was a group of four women. One of them was talking about how bi-curious she was and was trying to convince the other women to go to a hotel with her to experiment and how their boyfriends don't need to know. The other three were clearly uncomfortable and trying to laugh it off, but the one trying to convince them was really pushing it.

I don't know how close that group was before, but I have a feeling she made it weird!


42. That’s A Terrible Plan

A 72-year-old man was fired for not being able to produce the required 10 units per day. Later in the day, I hear the production manager who fired him laughing while telling another employee, “HR wanted me to have a plan to help him improve. There was no plan.” The replacement has been on the job for seven months and struggles to produce even a third of what the 72-year-old man did.


43. Next Time, Try A Pinata

I got invited to the same birthday party by the same girl every year for several years. I only knew a few people but everybody was nice to me. One year, I even met a girl who was super into me, which never happens. That should have been a red flag, but I was popular enough to think that sooner or later I’d be able to land a pretty girl. I spoke to her that night, but she didn’t answer when I called to set up a date later.

I shrugged it off, these things happen. The following year, I overheard the party host and some friends talking around the corner, “We’re going to tell Paul (Me) that you like him, then you’re going to pretend to like him all night but then never speak to him again. He thinks we’re his friend. It will be so, so funny.”

I did not reciprocate when the pretty girl hit on me, saying I had a girlfriend. Her retort was, “Who would date a loser like you?” It turns out this was a game they played every year.


44. One Benefit Of A Large Family

I was standing in an elevator with a couple of other people at a hotel in San Francisco when a guy gets on talking on the phone. As the elevator starts moving, he says, "God, Donna's family breeds like rabbits, so there should be somebody that's a match for his blood type." He looks around him, realizes that people are either struggling to keep a straight face or outright laughing.

His face goes red and he gets off at the next floor. I wrote his statement down as soon as I got the chance and still have the note in my phone.


45. Believe What I Say, Not How I Say It

I teach English in Japan, and the majority of my students had no idea that I knew Japanese. A girl came up to me and asked in Japanese, "Sensei, can you speak Japanese?" And I replied in Japanese, "No.” She then skipped back to two of her friends and said, "See? He can't speak Japanese!" And one of her friends said, "Then how did he answer your question?"


46. Ignorance Is Bliss

While wiping tables at Starbucks, I heard a guy propose to this very attractive woman. The moment was so tense that even I was sweating then after a few seconds of hems and haws, the girl replied, "I love you so much, but I can’t." The guy then asked, "And why is that?" I think everyone listening that day flinched the moment he asked.

The next few words that would come out of the woman's mouth not only scarred the man but also made me hate this woman who I just saw for the first time. She said, "I've been seeing Dave behind your back."


47. So Many Questions

I was a cashier in a gift shop at the time, and these two old women came in, they were reading inspirational quotes off a wall near my cash register. One said, “Oh! I love that, that reminds me of Harold.” The other replied, “Oh! it does, doesn’t it? Things just haven’t been the same since that awful lawnmower accident.”


48. A Life’s Story, Heard Through The Grapevine

My neighbor is a wicked successful realtor and the nicest lady in the neighborhood. She always gave us popsicles, let us play with her dog, hosted movie nights in her yard. But she got in with the wrong crowd. And as bad choices do, it took her life from lavish to destitute real quick. Though she kept it pretty under wraps, pretty soon I couldn't help but notice something disturbing: Her two-year-old son was no longer around.

One day, mind you this is like a Tuesday on a school night, she comes to our door looking rough, hair a mess, holding her dog Charlie by the collar. I hadn’t seen her up close in a long time since her issues started, as she no longer gave us popsicles or hosted parties. I didn’t even recognize her. She immediately asked for my dad, which was weird, but I ran and got him.

He took her to our patio out back to calm her down, and we were watching Charlie. Me, being 14 and nosy, snuck to my room which overlooked the patio and quietly slid my window open. She was telling my dad how they were “partying” and her boyfriend took too much, passed out, and then woke up not knowing where he was and who she was.

The boyfriend had snapped and struck her. My dad walked her back home and proceeded to talk to the guy. My brother and I snuck down through the bushes as we were worried he would hurt our dad after hearing what she just described. Back in the day, my dad partied, so he knew how to talk this guy down. We could hear him saying, “Hey man, let’s all calm down.”

“This is Tracy, you know her. She’s your girl. You’ve been partying, it’s all good. There’s more inside.” The guy had a tiki torch as a weapon, and clearly there was no getting through to him. He looked at my dad, dead-eyed, pupils black as night, and said, “I’m going to eat you.” We saw my dad back away with Tracy to run back to our house.

We sprinted back through the street to get before him. Turns out the boyfriend was also her dealer and the one who got her hooked. A couple months later SWAT was at our door, asking permission to enter the backyard so they’d have a clear shot of her back door. I heard the SWAT guy say “ready to execute” once he had his shot. Thankfully they busted the guy without lethal force.


49. Was Jesus In Mean Girls?

A woman’s adult son was talking to his mom while walking around Target. His mom said something about not being a fan of Jesus (the biblical one). Her son said, “Why don’t you like him? Did he write something mean in your yearbook?” And I have never laughed so hard at a random one-liner in my entire life.


50. Always Be Nice To The Staff

I managed a theater for years and we had all types of rich entitled jerks come in. So, one night this guy comes in with a super-hot lady on his arm. Buys popcorn, a drink, and pays with a $100 because he is rude. And they go inside to get a seat. About 10 minutes later he comes running out and his phone is ringing.

He answers the phone and goes, "Hello? Oh, hey sweetie. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office late with some meetings. Kiss the kids goodnight and I'll see you when I get home.” One of my employees has the great idea to scream, "SIR YOUR LADY FRIEND FORGOT HER POPCORN!" Right as he is getting off the phone.