Father Concerned About His Daughter In College Who Hasn't Made A Friend Since Middle School Solicits Advice
We all want our children to succeed and it hurts to see them struggle. Especially through difficult and transitionary periods in life. We want the best for our kids.
u/_sad_dad_ is one such struggling parent. He told us about his daughter and asked for some advice:
Me [60 M] with my daughter [19 F], she hasn't had a single friend since middle school and I am starting to get worried
Hi, I hope this is the right subreddit to post in. I browse reddit occasionally, but this is my first time posting.
I'll get right to the point: my daughter "Mia" has not made a single friend since middle school, and she is now entering her sophomore year of college. Before you ask, no it is not by choice. but I'll talk about that later.
"Mia" was very popular in middle school, she went out with friends every other day and attended a lot of parties. Ultimately, it got out of hand. Mia was drinking a lot, and while I drank a little underage, she was out of control. She never did hard drugs, but some of her friends did. When one of them OD'd, it was a wake up call for Mia and she got her act together. Unfortunately, this meant cutting out all of her former friends, and she entered high school alone.
Now I don't know what went on in high school, if she was bullied or just ignored, but she came home almost every day because she had to eat lunch and do projects by herself. This broke my heart. Mia is a very sweet girl, but she can come off as shy and perhaps a little odd at times. She claims she put herself out there a lot, but still, no friends to speak of. No birthday parties, no after school hangouts, no facebook friends.
I was convinced that when she entered college things would change, but when we talk, she still cries and says she is alone, and that her coworkers exclude her whenever they go out after work.
I am worried for my daughter. She is very intelligent, pretty, and kind, but obviously something is going wrong here? She has a therapist already but what she needs is a friend and I don't know what I can do as her father. I am her only family, and I'm getting old now. What happens when I'm gone?
tl;dr: My daughter has no friends (I'm not sure why), it is upsetting her but I don't know what I can do to help.
Here were some of the answers and replies he got.
Damn. That's heartbreaking. The best thing I think you can do for her is to keep encouraging her therapy and joining social activities or even online communities and putting herself out there. And just keep loving her and being a listening ear. She doesn't have to be the belle of the ball, even one friend can be the One who changes everything, and that could happen at any time.
If Mia was popular during her party years, perhaps she didn't learn how to make/keep friends without the social lubricant of alcohol. As someone else suggested, joining clubs is great for meeting new people. I also wanted to add that it might help her if she could practice her social skills and connecting with other people in a low pressure situation. Volunteering at a retirement center can be great for this. You meet interesting people who are usually eager to have someone to talk to.
This is not meant to make your daughter out to be unusual. I have always had some friends, but I am socially awkward and at 19 had a lot of people shun me because I don't drink. A lot of socializing went on at parties where drugs and alcohol were present. It is very likely that Mia doesn't do those things because of what happened to her friends. If she is uncomfortable/unwilling to be part of those groups, then she is going to be excluded from going out with co-workers.
I don't drink or do drugs. So I went through HS not going to parties because of how things were. It will get better as people age, but 19 to 21 tend to be the "party ages" for a lot of teens. What I did was find friends who agreed with my lifestyle choices. If she is in college, then she should look for clubs that allow her to meet with people who share her interests (christian groups are sometimes good for this.) She just needs to look for people who share her interests, not expect everyone else to just like her. Which sucks.
I'm not sure what country you're in, but I would suggest looking into mentoring services (like Big Brothers Big Sisters). I worked for a similar organisation here in Australia and we had quite a lot of young people your daughters age who had been in similar situations and needed a friend. It's a really great way for her to be matched up with somebody who has a similar personality/interests to her and, at least when I did it, isn't unusual for people her age to do (especially when they've gone through what she went through as a young person).
It's usually quite a supported friendship and if your daughter has any concerns or issues on the way (cold feet, not sure how to relate, anxiety) you'll have a worker who is experienced with this stuff that will check in with her and help with that kind of thing. She should fit into the age bracket (she would here in Aus). I would highly recommend it! Lots of people her age do it and if she has a preference for the age of her new mate then she can indicate that kind of thing :)
Using my own experience, my advice would be that perhaps she could join a website/forum dedicated to something she's interested in and make some friends there?
I only say this because I'm 22 and I don't have many "real life" friends. Let's see.. One friend from high school and a few from my old workplace. I started uni at the start of this year and haven't made a single friend there yet, so I can definitely understand how she feels.
Having said that, I joined a gaming forum 5-6 years ago, and although the website has now dissipated, I made a number of strong friendships through it - I even met my now boyfriend there (friends for three years then started dating, going on two years now!) and I've made friends on online games and tumblr groups as well. She might not be into that kind of thing but I thought I'd share! I wish her well ☺️
I have a really hard time making friends. I have a handful, now, that are good, close friends...buuut they all live on the other side of the country. I was moving for grad school, though, and everybody told me I was so lucky, I'd be surrounded by all of these like-minded people and I'd make tons of friends.
I ended up using Bumble BFF to try and at least get chatting with a few girls in the area, and I ended up making two friends. One of them I see sporadically because she's really busy (but I'm seeing her today!). The other one knits once a week with a handful of different girls, and now I'm one of them. So I know that once a week, I get to see a group of girls, and I'm working on befriending more than just the original girl. It's hard, though. I have a hard time building up the individual relationships and making them actual friends instead of just my knitting group, but so far it's going okay.
Is your daughter artsy or craftsy at all? I find those communities of women are usually really awesome/welcoming/inviting and tend to be super friendly and encouraging with new people. It takes a while of just going to the craft days or whatever before you actually start to form the individual relationships, but it comes with time. Does your daughter have realistic expectations about how relationships are formed? I don't really drink, either, and it's hard to pace a relationship when you're only meeting up sober vs. when you're all drunk and giggling and spilling stories and doing "exciting" things.
Will she let you talk to her therapist?
Is she painfully shy?
Unfortunately a lot of kids her age WAIT for someone else to do the work of starting a friendship-so it just never happens.
Does she do anything besides go to classes-yoga/volunteering/anything? would she be willing to ask one or a few other group members to go for coffee after? She is going to need to start doing this if she wants friends.
Is she in any study groups-ask her group to go out for pizza after an exam. If she is not in a group had her start one-she can ask the people who sit next to her or on a fb page if the class has a fb page.
SO may kids wait for someone else to take th initiative-their reasoning is 'if they were interested THEY would ask me' so they are afraid of rejection if they reach out.
Result-a bunch of lonely kids all wishing someone else would see if they want to get coffee
Is she at all into science fiction/fantasy? If so, encourage her to join the college's science fiction club (assuming there is one). It's a home for misfits and socially awkward people (I say that as both a nerd and former sci-fi club member myself). In my experience nerds are very accepting and, if she's willing to just keep showing up, she will make friends.
If not sci-fi, then check out other clubs. At larger colleges/universities, it's very difficult to make friends. College clubs, which force interaction, can be a huge help.
I did not have very many friends in school. In fact I had one and in retrospect we were friends because we had nobody else to be friends with. We would read in the library next to each other and that made us best friends. My mother worried endlessly why I was friendless and she kept trying to push me into having more friends. This was if anything counter producing as I just felt like everyone knew I had no friends and therefore I got more awkward and shy and weird and people were probably like "thanks but no thanks".
For me the big change came in university where I suddenly had many more like minded people around me and I did make a lot of friends then. You say your daughter is in college and still struggling... does she have many hobbies? My hobbies certainly helped me and I picked up a bunch of new ones... is there anything that interests her but she has never tried?
I joined a roller derby team at some point and I have a lot of friends through there... does she like skating? Most cities have them and they are a great resource for people who are maybe a little different. It is very community based and fun, people of all walks of life find themselves there, often having been on the outskirts a bit and trying to find somewhere to fit in. I really highly recommend it. Most Fresh Meat programs take absolute beginners!
I had trouble making friends in college because I didn't know how to talk to strangers/random classmates. Then I joined the gaming club and I had an instant friend group of people that I could easily talk to because we had similar interests. I have a lot of friends now, but hey, I still am not friends with any of my coworkers because they tend to have very different interests from me. Encourage her to join a club and find people who may have things in common with her. I'm happy to speak with her directly if she could use a friend, I'm only 23 so my college experience was pretty recent.
As a kid, I remember being obsessed (like obsessed) with David the Gnome and his fox Swift. I was tuned in daily to watch the adventures, get all misty eyed for the hurt animals the gnomes saved, and sob in abject wonder when the gnomes finally lived all 400 years of their gnome life and transitioned into the trees that make up the woods they live in.
The trees are their ancestors, y'all! The treeees! They protect the trees because they're family. Trees grow intertwined because they were so in love when they were gnomes.
Fam! This show was everything ... except memorable for other people, because I was in my 30s talking to someone from another country before I met the first person who remembered this show.
Which, honestly, is kind of insulting to gnomes and trees.
Reddit user itchellFamily1045 asked:
"Which show do you think you're the only person who remembers it exists?"
It was David the Gnome for me (which I found out originated in Spain and was much more popular in France than it was in the US. Apparently I was a Euro-trash hipster as a child.) but let's take a look at what got Reddit.
Classic Wheel Of Fortunewheel through the years GIF by Wheel of FortuneGiphy
"It's funny how nobody seems to remember the early seasons of Wheel of Fortune with host Chuck Woolery. You didn't win any cash. You had to choose prizes from a selection of things set up in a room-like fashion."
"They still had the prize room with sajak for a while I believe. Camera would just pan across the room and the winner would try not to pick the stupidest things. Cause the items all had fn price tags on em and you'd only have the $ amount you won. Infuriating"
"A broyhill coffee table!!"
"Always ending up with the porcelain dog statue cause it was all you had left after buying expensive items."
"I still think about the episode where everyone who stayed young, slept in Tupperware, and when their lids got taken off, aged overnight."
"One of my favorite moments on the show had Marshall and Simon hanging out in Simon's room, one night. Through the walls you can hear a man and a woman laughing lecherously."
"Marshall: 'It sounds like your mom and dad are having a party'."
"Simon: 'Mom's not home'."
"It was a great weird kids' show, but some of the gags they managed to sneak in were hilarious."
"I work w a dude whose daughter was on that show, We were just randomly chatting and he was telling me how she had done some modelling/acting when she was little"
" 'you probably dont know the show but...'."
" 'like hell i dont that show was great'."
"Early edition- get tomorrow's newspaper today"
"I loved that show! What a concept!"
"Omg omg omg"
"Quality 90s tv, right there. A warm-fuzzy show."
Herman's Headtalking marge simpson GIFGiphy
"Anyone remember Herman’s Head?"
"It had the woman that does the voice for Lisa Simpson and the woman tat went on to play Ross' exwife on friends was one of the characters in his head."
" It has 2 Simpsons voice actors- Yeardley Smith and Hank Azaria. I seem to remember that they were offered the roles- and maybe the whole show existed? - because they didn’t want to be ‘just’ VA’s, and FOX wanted to placate them."
"That’s a real show?? They reference it on 'only murders in the building'.”
"I came for this one too!"
The Garry Shandling Show
"The Gary Shandling Show. No, not the Larry Sanders Show - Gary Shandling Show. Even the theme song breaks the fourth wall."
"This is the theme to Gary's show, the opening theme to Gary's show. This is the music that you hear as you watch the credits. We're almost to the part of where I start to whistle, then we'll watch It's Gary Shandling's Show."
"Yeah, Garry Shandling and Tracey Ullman are pretty much tied up in my memory."
"Best theme song EVER!"
"My partner LOVES the theme to that show! Plays it in the background every now and then, it's a riot!"
"Mid-2000s show on Fox that was apparently too weird even for Fox. I think they canceled it halfway through the 1st season."
"I have the DVD. Excellent show that I still toss in every once in a while."
"The producers had planned out some storylines all the way to S3. The S2 cliffhanger was supposed to be Jaye being sent to the mental hospital where she had helped put away some guest stars, including the woman who tried to kill the therapist with gift store items, and the boy who bought the russian mail order bride."
"Bryan Fuller's early work."
Mary Hartman Square
"Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"
"I remember watching this with my dad and my sister after the 11:00 pm news. I was in like 6th grade. That's what happens when there's no mom around. 😂"
"Her husband fell into a vat of paint thinner at work, and he needed to have plastic surgery over every inch of his body, so he requested to look like Tab Hunter."
"I thought her husband drowned in a bowl of soup. Maybe her first husband? That show was trippy af"
"Her neighbor's husband. The clip is on YouTube."
"Spin off of a spin off or Mary Tyler Moore as I recall, right? Wasn't Rhonda the first spinoff?"
"Not a spin-off. Mary Hartman was a very bizarre show for its time, a parody of a soap opera. Louise Lasser played Mary, and she was this weirdly detached character surrounded by crazy drama and violence. I think it might have been the first place I saw Martin Mull."
"Terranova, ran for like a single season then disappeared"
"I loved that show! So annoying they didn’t get a second season."
"I was a young kid when it aired on TV so i dont remember much of it, but I recall it being a recurring topic with my mom every now and then"
"oh god I’m old. I thought it was only a few years ago. I just looked it up and it was 11. Excuse me while I go get an AARP application."
"It’s that old?! Holy sh*t, grab me an application too, please. It seriously felt like just a couple of years ago."
"Karen Valentine was probably the cutest girl ever on a tv show. I used to love when she would be on the original Hollywood Squares."
"She was the only reason anyone watched that show."
"I loved that show! My mom, my sisters and I would watch that show every Friday night. The cast was really good — Karen Valentine was a really cute and bubbly teacher, and Michael Constantine was great as the high school principal"
"Yes! I swear this was the first one I thought of! And Under the Umbrella Tree!"
"If you have the Paramount streaming app, it's on there!"
"Spicy, salty, sour, sweet, bring us something good to eat!"
"I’m in my late thirties and still vividly remember the Christmas special episode where Magellan gets lost in the woods."
"Eureka’s Castle was the jam!"
"*Worms going err errrr ER err ere rrr*"
Let's talk about the shows nobody remembers but you.
Are they those early childhood favorites? Or maybe a teen-drama that only got one season before Netflix pulled it, crushing your hopes and dreams of resolved plotlines about a teenage ghost band who died of poisoned hot dogs and the incredibly talented, but heartbroken, young singer who gives them a new lease on life, love, and music?
No that is not a joke and YES I am still angry about Netflix not giving Julie and the Phantoms a second season.
Maybe it's a soap opera you think you remember watching with your mom, but maybe it was a fever dream?
Whatever it is, we want to hear about it.
Working in entertainment production is one of those things that sounds awesome - and make no mistake, it is.
It's just that it's also one of those jobs that means when your partner calls you at 1 in the morning to ask where you are, and you tell them you're out measuring lemons for Beyoncé... it's not a euphemism and it's not that weird.
Queen Bey wants a bowl of 15 evenly sized lemons for her dressing room, Queen Bey gets a bowl of 15 evenly sized lemons for her dressing room.
And because catering runners care about doing their jobs well and usually have a multi-tool on them anyway, Beyoncé is getting the sexiest, most uniformly sized, lemons we can find.
Reddit user Tacoma__Crowasked:
"What was the oddest job you’ve had and why?"
Lemons for the Queen doesn't even begin to scratch the surface, honestly.
"In small rural town, I (15M) close to 200lbs got a job as a farm Hand expecting to work planting and harvesting. I was quite a large athletic lad at the time. And I show up for my first day of work and the planting equipment on the back of the tractor was missing some parts. So my boss told me to climb atop the planting equipment to make sure it would plant deep enough"
"FML I got hired to be a heavy object, weight, ballast."
"I will never forget my first job as weight"
"Heavy Weight Champion! Literally!"
"I didn't know that was a whole job, I've only worked as ballast in addition to my other duties"
"(theme park ride operator, and would need/get to ride the rides sometimes when they needed more weight on them for one reason or another)"
"that's nothing I'm so fat that people pay me to sit in the back of their car when it snows"
"My dad used me for ballast when I was a kid. Growing up in upstate NY where we would get 12-24" of snow a day, he made a homemade plow for his lawn tractor."
"He had weights for the back drive wheels, but he needed weight on the front for the steer tires. a 50lb 5 year old who could sit on the hood of the tractor was perfect."
A Google-izer Or Is It Googlee ?evan peters google GIF by The Orchard FilmsGiphy
"Googling stuff for people."
"I used to work for kgbkgb, which was this text messaging service where you could text a number, ask any question, and get an answer for $.99. This was before smartphones became super huge, so it was a bit of a helpful gimmick back then."
"However, for everyone that we got asking normal questions like movie times, or what restaurants were open near them, or stuff like that, we got A LOT more people asking very stupid things that I would have to Google. I have this album of a bunch of weird questions that people sent to us."
"It was an interesting job that helped cover some things when I was in college, but it also had me using Google for a lot of weird sh*t."
"Oh my god, my friends and I used to send so many weird questions to services like that (never used that one though). It never occurred to me that an actual person was answering them, I always thought it was a chatbot."
"Dude I totally remember that service! I'm so sorry I definitely asked stupid questions 😅"
"I was employed by JC Penney for literally one day. I didn't quit, and I wasn't fired. That was the term of my employment."
"This was back in 1998 and I was entering my senior year of high school. They had a huge sale in the store and they hired dozens of people to cover every department because they were anticipating huge crowds. This was not a Black Friday sale, but they anticipated correctly, nonetheless."
"One of the shift supervisors gave me some busy work to start the day (folding shirts or whatever). After lunch I was basically asked to walk around from time to time and pick up any knocked over merchandise. The last few hours got boring, so one of the other supervisors that I had been chatting with throughout the day invited me to hang out during his break. His words were, 'what are they gonna do, fire you?' Good times."
"One of our local department stores (might have been Penneys) would hire a bunch of people for one day to do inventory. My wife, my MIL, SIL, and my Mom & I always got hired. We did it for 5 years, working one day a year, counting every damn thing in that store."
"Ha! I got a gig at Filene's over Christmas break one year doing the exact same thing. I think I had maybe 2-3 shifts, just walking around refolding shirts. So weird, but easy money!"
RingThe Ring Movie GIF by Arrow VideoGiphy
"I was the girl that crawled out of a fake well at a Halloween hay ride once - that was actually pretty fun! Why: I was 14 and after four weeks working Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays all evening I got $150! (Under the table of course.)"
"Damn. Sounds like you got scammed on pay unless this was like the 80s or before."
"Haha it was shady, but like I said it was fun! It was especially hilarious later in the evening when all the drunk college kids would come through and freak the f*ck out at me - a kid in a ripped up costume wedding dress- practically falling out of a cardboard well with a strobe light blinding me!"
"Most of the people that worked there were teenagers and we'd just have a good time and smoke in between wagons - pay was sh*t but it was definitely an odd job that made some good memories."
"Transporting deceased people who our county declared John/Jill Does to the proper county or city coroner once they were identified."
"Some obscure state law back in the 80's made it illegal to transport that particular type of dead person while the sun was up... Screwed up job, but it paid $15 an hour back in 1985."
"Guess it paid so much because most people were unwilling to do it. That was a hell of a lot for a college student to turn down. Interesting fact. When you hit a bump in the road, with an unprepared corpse, their bodies will gurgle, and sometimes air comes out of their lungs and hits their vocal cords."
"Were you warned about the gurgling or learn from terrifying experience?"
"Got to learn about it. I guess it was a break-in-the-new guy kind of moment. The first time that I heard a moan, that about went out of the vehicle window."
"Did this show up in nightmares? How long did you do that for?"
"When i was a teenager i sold those magic eye pictures at a mall kiosk. y'know the ones you have to stare at for a while till your eyes make out a 3d picture? all day i had to try and help frustrated people try and see the f*cking sail boat."
"Ah, you worked in a mall between 1993-1997."
"My first job was with a temp agency; worked in an accounting office going through boxes of records and making sure there were no staples or fasteners in anything. Then the boxes would go to another dept to be scanned onto microfiche. I had some fancy title (like “Accounting Clerk”) and was making over $11 an hr (back when min wage was still like $5 and change) so I thought I was living large."
"A funny part of the story is that I started on a Friday, and came to work in khakis and a polo-Monday I came dressed the same way and got spoke to about dressing professionally because Friday was casual Friday and not normal dress code. Lol felt dumb having to wear business attire and a tie when I was in the back in a cubicle pulling staples out of documents."
"The entire existence of casual Friday proves dress codes don’t matter. If you can do your job the same on Friday as you can on Monday, what does it matter?"
"Exactly. I haven’t had to wear a tie to work since 1998. And I’ve worked in some pretty stuffy places since then—two Federal Reserve Banks, the Chicago Board of Trade, and the most uptight law firm in the entire history of the legal system."
Cutthroat Cookiesepisode 19 GIFGiphy
"Worked for the girl scouts and ran the cookie sale for a regional area that included a major American city."
"Craziest and most stressful job I ever had."
"It seems all cute and charming until you have 30 furious cookie moms screaming at you in your office at 6:30 AM on a Saturday because the truck carrying 5 pallets of thin mints is stuck in a blizzard."
"I had to break up fist fights between parents because someone 'stole' someone's spot outside of a grocery store. It's cutthroat."
"Anyway that job was decades ago and I still have stress nightmares about it!"
"How is 5 pallets of thin mints stuck in a blizzard really a problem? Advertise those as already frozen and sell at a premium"
"Not a job exactly but one awesome day. I used to work in the concrete business. We once had a job pouring a slab for residential parking and a neighbour nearby had a kitten just a couple months old."
"It would not stay out of the concrete as you can imagine it thought us picking it up and washing its paws was a game. Eventually the boss told me to grab the kitten and go hold it hostage in the truck."
"So I spent the next six hours sitting in the truck with a super friendly kitten sleeping on my chest. I got paid to babysit a kitten."
Kept That Swamp cleanbathroom stall GIFGiphy
"Swamp Janitor. Official title was "invasive species removal technician" but really I was a swamp janitor. "
"There was this invasive aquatic plant that would completely take over swamps and choke out all the native life, so my job was to go in with a rake and pitchfork and literally just clean up the swamp of this devil plant."
"Some parts were cool, watching eagles fish, seeing turtles come up for air and big fish swimming in the water but a lot of it sucked. The plant had sharp seeds that would pierce your skin and your waders. You'd get leeches, tics and mosquitos on you all day. Physically exhausting with lots of sun."
"You'd have to haul the plant matter to giant compost heaps that were full of snakes (for some reason the snakes liked it). It was a unique but grueling job."
"That sounds absolutely horrifying. How much did it pay?"
"Pretty sure it was min wage."
"What kind of plant was it?"
"European Water Chestnut (but in Canada, so no bueno)"
Okay so we've measured lemons for royalty, been a taxi for dead folks, and been an overpaid staple remover with a fancy title.
You're up, readers.
Got anything that competes with that?
In spite of considerable work being, and progress, made to change things, it remains a fact that men have countless advantages in modern society.
In addition to not having to deal with several biological issues all women must endure, men still seem to have the upper hand when applying for positions of power, or being trusted with major responsibilities.
As a result, those who do not identify as men often roll their eyes when men of any age offer even the slightest complaint.
Which doesn't mean that plenty of men still maintain that there are definite downsides to carrying those he/him pronouns.
Redditor jojomecoco was curious to hear what the men of Reddit considered the biggest obstacles and challenges which come with their gender, leading them to ask:
"Boys, what's the downside to being a male?"
What lies between one's legs...
"Getting hit in the nuts."- Phantomtastic
"Balls stick to leg."- BuffGroot
"All the expectations."
"'We must be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon'."- SparkAxolotl
"Our childhood interests don’t truly change much into adulthood, but we are often seen as childish if we continue to pursue them."
"One of my greatest laments is the magnitude of friends who said, 'when I grow up I’ll be able to afford..,' yet abandoned those dreams due to social conditioning."- nixxy19nicksplat doug GIFGiphy
Don't let a persona fool you.
:Being called a creep when you call a kid adorable."- OkraFit3987
Men like hugs too...
"I haven't been hugged in 14 years."- Delphii42
It can be hard for everyone...
"Whatever dating is now."- Thompson_S_Sweetback
"The loneliness."- ReindeerMean6253lonely season 7 GIFGiphy
"Almost never get compliments."
What are your intentions, exactly?
"I can’t be nice to women without them thinking I’m hitting on them or what have you."
"Like yeah you’re pretty but also, I’m just being polite."- pdeagz
When push comes to shove, sometimes we all feel like the world is against us, and we have to face an uphill battle.
But if one were to provide a study, the likely outcome would prove that men, namely white, cisgender, heterosexual men, often have a much less steep hill to climb than anyone else.
And though it might certainly be a different sensation, getting hit really hard between the legs is painful for everyone.
Depending on the job, non-office employees work tirelessly to push through with their physically-demanding tasks despite their fatigue to earn that paycheck.
But in their exhaustion, judgments can be impaired and exhausted workers can be vulnerable to workplace hazards.
And when an accident occurs while on company property, it's a devastating predicament that can have long-term effects.
Curious to hear job horror stories, Redditor Bwrice asked:
"What’s a work related accident that still haunts you to this day?"
"Beware of falling objects" was the last thing on these workers' minds.
Do Pets Miss Their Owners?
"While building Levi Stadium, a trucker was unloading rebar when the entire pile fell on him, impaling him multiple times and also crushing him."
"I never met the man, but his cat and elderly dog ended up a a local shelter. We planned to adopt the dog and ended up taking home the cat too because we didn't want to split them."
"Nena (the dog) passed away in her sleep in 2017 about 2 years after we brought her home. Seal (the cat) is around 7 years old now and doing just fine."
"I've always wondered if they ever thought of him."
"Worked for Edy's Ice Cream. My truck was loaded wrong so at a stop had to shimmy between pallets to get to the back pallet."
"Was unloading the top pallet and the pallet below collapsed. The top pallet slid on to me. But since I was between 2 waist high pallets about 1200lbs of ice cream bent me at the waist the wrong way."
"Sort of like bending over normally, backwards."
"Ended up with 2 broken vertebrae, nerve damage and was not fun."
"Eventually got a six disc fusion and was able to walk again."
"But now I have arthritis in my back and it really hurts most of the time. I also have numb areas in my right thigh and my whole lower back."
"Would not recommend."
"Trench collapse. Guy was pinned mid chest. Not good but not immediately fatal. Guy’s coworkers freak out and use the backhoe to dig him out. Ended up catching him with the teeth on the bucket. Essentially cut him in half."
"The guy on the backhoe was his brother."
"Dude would have probably been alright had they rescued him the right way."
Drowning in Molasses
"Not me, but at the cookie factory where my brother worked a worker died when someone accidentally dumped out a massive mixer full of molasses on top of him. He suffocated before they could dig him out."
No one ever expected these jabs to happen.
Implementation Of A Rule
"Engineer decided to open a parcel with a Stanley knife, not sure if he slipped or what angle he was cutting at but BAM! Stanley knife in the eye. Never saw him again but h&s quickly introduced a policy that safety goggles needed to be worn when opening boxes"
Ruined Wedding Gown
"Used to be a wedding caterer. While the bride and groom were going to cut the cake it started to fall off the table as they were both trying to catch this ridiculously huge thing the bride slipped, fell into a pyramid of wine glasses on a foldout table behind her... The table collapsed and a wine glass stem pierced her neck."
"She survived, but she was not gonna be able to take that gown back to the rental place... I've never seen so much blood in my life."
These accidents were uniquely different from the common examples above, but horrific, nonetheless.
Mad At The Machine
"I dunno if you can call this an accident but I was working with this guy and outta nowhere he says 'I'm sick of working here, check this out' and jammed his foot into the gears on the machine. Completely mangled his foot. Saw him 20 years later and his foot was still f'ked."
"He was looking for a couple weeks of workers comp, got a lifetime disability instead. It was pretty horrific."
Bashed In The Face
"Work in a dealership and once a tech was using a tool that broke free bashing him in the face, knocking out multiple teeth, splitting his lip and breaking his nose…it was a bloody mess. Young kid, with balls of steel appearantly. While waiting for an ambulance he was sitting there talking and smiled to show the damage. That smile was horrifying. He recovered and got a ton of dental work and still works there."
"I was a cashier in a grocery store. One of my fellow cashiers was a senior, just killing time in retirement. One day, she had a dizzy spell, collapsed, and cracked her head open on the floor. Paramedics were called, and as they were loading her into the ambulance, she was crying out that she could still finish her shift."
"I used to fly small airplanes in north west Alaska. In the two years I worked there I knew three pilots that died in crashes."
"Don’t miss how those days felt."
"Coworker, who was fresh out of trade school was using a table saw to cut 1” thick sheets of plastic into strips. It was cold so he put on some leather work gloves."
"A glove got caught and pulled his hand into the saw, nearly severing his right index and middle fingers."
"He came to me and said, 'uh, I think I cut my hand'. It literally looked like a package of pork ribs - all mangled bone and tissue."
"They were able to save the fingers, but they’re non functional and don’t bend."
Working in theater, I've seen my share of fellow performers getting injured.
From theme parks to Broadway, the things actors do for the sake of entertaining audiences are nothing short of risky.
Anything can go wrong when actors rush backstage for a quick costume change or when they rely solely on the mechanics of set pieces to move efficiently.
A good friend of mine was the victim of the latter, when he expected the bottom of the trap door would be clear of a moveable stair case when jumped in as he always did at a particular moment during a theme park show.
He landed on a staircase that hadn't been switched out for the airbag because of a crew member's incompetence.
My friend sustained several non life-threatening injuries but survived.
The things we do for art...