It's pretty easy for one to be fired. However, there are times when I've been saddled with co-workers where the firing seemed to drag on forever. No matter how it happens, I always enjoy an exit with drama. If you gotta go, you might as well leave a lasting impression.
I've been dumbfounded by the ways I've seen people fired. For instance, if you're going to steal, try not to do it directly in front of cameras. And if you're going to show up drunk, take a breath mint first. But if you do get fired, please make it entertaining. Unless of course it's sad and a proper situation. But nobody gets fired in record time for sad reasons.
Redditoru/njaanawanted to hear about the staff members who left an impression on their way out the door, by asking:
What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?
I remember a bartender I worked with who got fired for a really crappy reason, like one customer complaint. Honestly the higher ups were not thrilled with him. When they told hm, honey... he threw a small table. BRILLIANT!!
Dimes
toys r us 90s GIFGiphy"When I worked at Babies 'R Us many years ago, a fine young lad wrote on the break room white board, "Forget you witches, hire dimes." For some reason it escaped him that there are cameras pretty much everywhere. Done after maybe three days on the job."
3 Hours
"Many years ago we hired a line cook that had a decent amount of experience. He started on steak night. First steak, undercooked. Refire, undercooked. Third try, undercooked, Fourth try, cow was still mooing when it came off the grill. FOH manager goes to head chef, tells him to kick him off the line, so he does. His new job was to replace me on the sauté station."
"First order he gets is for a side of asparagus, so he puts the asparagus into the hot pan, and adds enough oil to deep fry them. Well, he goes to turn them, oil escapes, hits the fire, and started a fire. He went to grab water, and if not for my head chef stealing the cup, we might have had a bigger fire. Just like that, gone. Turns out all his previous jobs were not real places, but his supervisors were just friends who lied. Total time of employment: three hours."
Out by 11...
"I was intern at a startup out of college along with three other interns. One guy was set up at a computer kinda out of the way and apparently that was the greenlight he needed to look up some porn. Anyone who's ever been an intern will tell you that someone is usually coming over to ask you for something or if you need help and sure enough, the dude was caught looking at porn by our boss. He was walked out around 11 AM so he managed a solid two hours of porno before getting caught."
90 Minutes
"New guy, hired as quality control inspector after a lot of vetting. Job site was aluminum extrusions factory - lots of hot, sharp, and heavy things that can crush your hands and slice you up, not to mention all the moving parts. Shows up first day on the job reeking of beer. "I was just celebrating my new job with my friends before work!" Refused the booze blow test at a nearby hospital. Paperwork completed and fired after 90 minutes by the supervisor and HR."
Rude
rude kim kardashian GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy"It was a family owned business and she said something insensitive about the owner's recently deceased daughter."
Yeah, you have to be careful who you're talking smack around. That is lesson number one, especially if you're not solid in the lay of the land. And restaurants are always on a rolling employment. Let's continue.
Crazy
Angry Stanley Kubrick GIFGiphy"It was his second week. The guy came to work drunk af, picked the emergency axe and trashed the place with it. He got instantly fired and processed in court shortly after."
- Bonguri
Thief
"I worked in maintenance at a beach resort. One of the housekeepers managed to get her delinquent son a job as a "runner"... someone who would collect the dirty laundry after the housekeepers stripped the beds. She was actually worried when he started working because I guess he had a bad track record with other jobs. About three days after he started working, his mother confronted him about his new expensive-looking athletic shoes and a gold chain around his neck."
"He just shot back something about having a job now which didn't make sense because he hadn't even been paid yet. Anyway, about the same time there were a couple of reports at the front desk by guests who were missing large sums of money. A police report was made and people were questioned. So after only about four days this kid was fired and went to jail for stealing from guest rooms."
Out the Door...
"New person joins company. On her first morning she wrote an email to her manager how grateful she was to be with the company, how she looked forward to working for us, and on and on. She also wrote an email to her friend about how she'd got a cushy gig and would scam them for as much training as possible for the first couple of months and then leave. Apart from the general lack of wisdom of saying this on the company email system, when writing such contradictory emails it is vitally important to put the right addressee on the right email. Walked out the door after 2.5 hrs."
- pmc666
At Baggage Claim
"We had a guy start in London on a Monday as large contingent left for a a conference in Seattle later that week. I met him at Heathrow with his badge and laptop on his first morning and boarded the flight with him. Longish story, but he ended up slapping a member of the flight crew because she wouldn't let him sit in business class. I called HR when we landed and fired him in baggage claim. We paid for him to fly back to the UK next day."
Awkward...
Jesse Pinkman Reaction GIF by Breaking BadGiphySex the bosses daughters - yes daughters - the night he was hired. The real twist is that one of those daughters is now his wife and his former boss, his mother in law. So I guess he got the last laugh, and a lot of awkward family dinners."
"You mean don't do this?"
"I used to train new hires at a warehouse. We have a floor for robots to zoom around on, full of merchandise and cold spite. Only certified technicians may set foot on that floor. The rest of us? Instant termination if we do it. We stress this frequently throughout orientation."
"I'm training a group of new hires at a work station. It's their first night. Not even lunch yet. One of our managers comes over to introduce himself. One guy, who has already been copping an attitude, asks him about stepping on the floor. Manager reiterates what we all told everyone: Do it, and you're fired."
"Guy: "You mean don't do this?" (puts one foot on the floor)"
"And away he goes. I heard the rest of the new trainees laughing over how stupid he was. He was even whining about it the whole time his termination was being processed. I'm just glad I didn't get stuck training that snotty, dimwitted little pain in the @ss for two days."
People Explain Which Expensive Purchases Paid For Itself In The Long Run | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Call Center Crazy
"A number of years back I worked at an inbound call center that also had an upsell side to it. A new guy fresh out of training was bragging about how he did over 10 x the monthly goal in his first week alone. Didn't see him the following week and heard he was laid off because he was upgrading everyone's plans who called in to the highest costing plan without their consent or informing them. About a week or two later I got a text from him asking if I could be his reference for a new call center job he got. He somehow got a hold of a bunch of our numbers and just spammed everyone asking for a reference."
BLIIIITZED!!
"Hired my roommate to work at a gas station I was assistant manager for. Shows up 2 hours late to replace me, and I could have gotten drunk from his breath. He went out after his construction job and got bliiiiitzed. Was mad at me for firing him. 16 hour shift that day and he treated me like trash till we moved. Is zero minutes a duration? LOL"
- crumps2
How Fluid...
True Stories Omg GIFGiphy"I saw this guy in interview with our boss, he was hired for 3 minutes then he peed in his desk for no reason."
Wrong Email
"Our CEO rarely sent all-company messages unless there was great news or some major event/holiday/emergency etc. One day he sends an email reminding everyone something about an extra day off everyone earned hitting a major deadline and how and when to use it."
"New woman in accounting - looked like a nice 50 something Dallas church lady, hits the reply-all and writes "I suppose we all should bow down to Mr. Generosity for the measly day off." Meanwhile she never worked on the project or was affected by long hours."
"When she realized what she did, the other finance people in her area heard a gasp come from her desk and without saying a word to anyone, she picked up her purse, took a box, added her personal items, and walked out the door to her car never to be seen again."
Talk to the Hand
"15 minutes. Working at the wharfs where we had to unload shipping containers with forklifts; new bloke starts work who claims to be a wiz at operating forklifts. First container and he drives in too fast while another worker is opening the container door. I'm not the foreman but I have a go at him about him and tell him to pull his head in. He walks off the job muttering under his breath 'Nobody talks to me like that'."
Like a Zombie
"Call centre worker, new beginner came in hungover as crap on the 1st day of the job. Within 2 hours of their shift, they struggled to look at a computer for more than 10 minutes, couldn't form a coherent sentence, walked away from the desk without a word only to just full on faceplant in the floor of the office. I'm sure the actual termination took longer, but it was obvious they lost their job the moment they walked in like a zombie."
"this job isn't for me"
"I worked at a bill collection firm in the early 90's (don't judge me). A guy started working there, went through the 2 days of training , then started working. After about an hour, he got up and left. Didn't say "I quit." Didn't say "this job isn't for me." Didn't say "forget you." He just got up to go to the bathroom, went through the front door and drove away. It took the managers a few hours to figure out that this guy got the job with a fake name, and erased his own debt on the computer."
- M_Looka
You're Out!
I Got This Credit GIF by HustlersGiphy"Briefly worked as a doorman at a strip club. Had to eject two brand new strippers for lifting wallets from the guys."
Safety First
"Guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won't pass a pee test, as he used his only bottle of clean pee earlier that day when he hired in. Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles... just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild."
Oh my. People really are something else. This should be a reality show, crazy people getting fired. Now that is a mess I'd watch.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Reddit user Ninac4116 asked:
"Who are some exposed frauds that still have a following despite being debunked?"
Playing With Fyre
"That dude that went to prison for fraud for Fyre Festival, Billy McFarland. He is out now and wants to try again."
~ Can_Not_Double_Dutch
"Grifters gonna grift. His sleaziness was already well documented with that credit card/access card BS before the Fyre."
~ mcburloak
"The justice system certainly failed on this one. A long running pattern of documented fraud even before he committed the massive Fyre Festival wire fraud in the amount of millions of dollars and guy is out within a few years."
"What a f*cking joke. There are thousands of people serving more time for drug offenses and stealing 1/100th as much."
~ perfektstranger
* Billy McFarland is an American con artist and convicted felon who co-founded the ill-fated Fyre Festival as well as several other fraudulent businesses.
The New MLM
"All of those YouTube 'financial freedom' classes/courses/programs."
~ TiaMaeLove
"I consider those to be Gen-Z pyramid schemes."
"'Learn how to get passive income by teaching people how to get passive income by teaching people how to get passive income!'."
"'Something, something grind mindset...'."
~ Kurt0690
Totally Not A Cult
"Keith Raniere who started NXIVM too."
"There's still a bunch of women that hang out outside of the prison he's in singing his praises every day."
"It's weird man."
~ HotGarbage
* Keith Raniere is an American cult leader who was convicted of a pattern of racketeering activity, including human trafficking, sex offenses and fraud."
GiphyAlso Totally Not A Cult
"Warren Jeffs and Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS)."
"Dude is literally in prison and still has a significant amount of devout followers."
~ alienwitchkitty
"To be fair, the FLDS is very isolated from the outside world (think no internet). It's possible that they genuinely don't understand the severity and overwhelming evidence of his crimes."
"Though you'd still think that watching your prophet marry children as his brides would set off some red flags."
~ lo_profundo
* Warren Jeffs is an American polygamous cult religious leader who was convicted of several sex crimes and two assisted sex crimes involving children.
"I’m a long time postal worker and I once did an intake at the plant of a pallet of letters from Warren Jeffs. They have to provide us a sample for this kind of mass mailing for billing purposes so I read the letter."
"He was sending it to every church of every denomination within our province (Canada). I imagine other plants got similar pallets."
"The letter was a demand that they give all properties and tithing money over to Warren Jeffs and the board of the FLDS. He wanted every priest/pastor to tell their congregation that they were wrong and would now be following Heavenly Father’s wishes to completely turn over everything to the FLDS and every member was to write letters and make calls demanding Warren’s immediate release."
"This mailing cost was in the thousands of dollars and I suspect every church in Canada received one, potentially tens of thousands in cost. That’s all money from his followers, terrible waste."
"For months afterwards we saw so many of these letters come back through the plant labeled return to sender. I would be completely shocked if they got even one positive reply. Massive waste."
~ janesfilms
Absolutely, Totally Not A Cult
"L Ron Hubbard. My uncle is Scientology level OT8."
"I'll never understand why he buys into it (literally and figuratively)."
~ thatoneguy889
"L. Ron pulled a ‘hold my beer’ before it was even a thing with saying the Ringling brothers (circus guys) were about to be upstaged by the biggest scam in history, then proceeded to write the Scientology books."
"Even knowing Hubbard was a failed sci-fi author, and that he had a history of failed scam attempts, people still believed the Scientology books were educational/historic documents and a guide to a wonderful life/afterlife. Mind blowing."
"Equally if not more of a scam than Joseph Smith reading the gold tablets from a hat, that only he could see and decipher because that is what God wanted. The level of gullibility of mankind throughout history is impressive in all the worst ways."
~ _calmer_than_you_r_
* Lafayette Ronald Hubbard was an American pulp science fiction author and the founder of Scientology.
GiphySleight Of Hand
"Uri Geller."
"He still to this day claims he has mystical powers and won't admit he's just doing magic tricks, despite being exposed by James Randi."
~ agent_x_75228
"The crazy part to me is that he is actually quite talented as a magician."
"He could make a good living just doing magic tricks and billing himself as such."
"He didn't even have to lie to be successful."
~ starmartyr
"His exposure on The Tonight Show with Carson is so fun to watch."
"You almost feel bad for him. Almost."
~ BulljiveBots
* Uri Geller is an Israeli-British television personality and self-proclaimed psychic known for his trademark television performances of spoon bending and other illusions to simulate the effects of psychokinesis and telepathy.
"Dr Phil and Dr Oz."
~ 335i_lyfe
"Oprah has pushed so many terrible people and I feel like it really should be discussed more.
"My mom's been in a cult for years because of her pushing Gwen Shamblin and the Weigh Down diet on her show."
~ _angesaurus
"She propelled so many charlatans and their mumbo jumbo into the mainstream."
~ Dangerpuffins
* Phillip "Dr. Phil" McGraw is an unlicensed clinical psychologist and TV personality who appeared as a relationship and life strategy expert on The Oprah Winfrey Show whose methods have been called "exploitative" and "appallingly cruel."
* Dr. Mehmet Oz is a television presenter and physician who appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show and his own program which drew criticism from the medical community for false medical claims and pseudoscience including faith healing and various paranormal beliefs.
GiphyBody By...
"The Liver King guy, Brian Johnson, not sure if he still claims to be natural though."
~ RegularEmbarrassed36
"Dudes got a physique that is pretty much impossible to achieve natural."
"Like it's still hard work even if you're not natty. But don't give other kids the idea it's achievable."
~ herroebauss
"It's not just him giving kids the idea, he's quite literally RIPPING THEM OFF, selling all these products, selling his lifestyle, taking their money pretending that he's helping them."
~ battleduck84
"He admitted he was using steroids, went clean for a bit, and unless there's been developments in the last few months he's back on steroids and claiming he's not."
~ blames_irrationally
* Brian "Liver King" Johnson is an American fitness social media influencer.
Who Profits From The "Prosperity Gospel"?
"Joel Osteen"
~ Blue_Period_89
"The guy just sells toxic positivity, begs for more money, and claims it under the Christian God. I'm a Christian and I can say with full confidence that what he teaches is NOT what Jesus is about."
~ cutiegirl88
"Pretty much all of the mega church leaders are frauds."
~ usedmotoroil
"I'd say 100% of them. It is anti-Christian. Any excess should be given back to the communities they are in."
"That's why they don't get taxed. But now it's just a grift."
"They don't give a f*ck about anything other than the size of their bank accounts."
~ theshane0314
"Absolutely 100% they are frauds and lying weasels."
"Osteen or Copeland or any of the others who unabashedly pound the pulpit, so to speak, on the 'prosperity gospel'—they have incorporated their sin as their strength in the eyes of their followers and those imbeciles eat it up."
~ Thunderhorse74
* Joel Osteen is an American televangelist, businessman based in Houston, Texas and one of the more prominent figures associated with "prosperity theology" and a focus of its critics.
GiphyFilipino Fraudsters
"Bongbong Marcos and his family."
"Their family literally stole billions from the Filipino people yet they are still out of prison. Their family matriarch, Imelda, was even sentenced to prison for graft, but no one dared to arrest her."
"Bongbong is now even president of the Philippines and has a huge cult following because of how they tried to distort history."
~ holyguacamole-
* Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos Jr. is the second child and only son of former president, kleptocrat and dictator Ferdinand Marcos and former First Lady Imelda Marcos.
The Power Of Motorola Compels You!
"Faith healer and psychic Peter Popoff. The divine voices he heard were actually his wife using a radio."
"He’s still selling his 'Miracle Water'."
~ SnooChipmunks126
"Popoff was exposed in an investigation on a news show.
"He 'retired to a quiet life of contemplation' when it aired which everyone knew was horsesh*t."
"A couple years later he’s back grifting."
~ Renaissance_Slacker
* Peter George Popoff is a German-born American televangelist, charlatan, debunked clairvoyant and faith healer.
GiphyNo, Vaccines Don't Cause Autism
"Andrew Wakefield, who was trying to get his own vaccine approved, so he tried to make it look like another vaccine was a problem."
"He did research without getting proper consent, falsified results, and so on."
"He's become the darling of the vaccines-cause-autism crowd, even though his behavior was so egregious that he lost his medical license."
~ DrHugh
"Oh it's so much worse. Wakefield's alternative vaccine (cofounded by a quack who didn't have a medical license, believed he could cure autism with his bone marrow, and had his name spelled wrong on the patent) was a cash-grab, to capitalise further on the greater scheme."
"He was paid to discredit the MMR vaccine by a lawyer who recognised the amount of money there was in suing the manufacturer on behalf of concerned parents, in collaboration with a then-small group of parents who believed it made their children autistic (called "JABS") who have since rocketed in popularity as a direct result of the whole debacle."
"Wakefield lost his license primarily because he did not receive informed consent for procedures. Not only did the handouts he gave to the parents not even mention all the procedures performed, but they did not mention risks. The handouts literally do not contain the word 'risk'."
"He also lied. A lot. Like, the results of his study were shaky at best, and half of them were just completely made up."
"Oh, and giving colonoscopies to children ended up being a horrible idea, because one of them got a perforated bowel. He f*cked up that kid's life forever. It's... disgusting."
"Autism isn't actually that bad. And it's kinda disgusting that it was being treated as something worth risking actual death to avoid.
"Also, the head of Andrew Wakefield's hospital at the time of his departure (when he got fired because his colleagues got sick of his sh*t) went on to describe him as, quote, 'a Wanker and a Fraud'."
~ Otherversian-Elite
How Is He—either one—Still A Thing?
"Logan Paul. This really annoys me. The dude has been called out for multiple crypto scams and yet I still see his sh*tty energy drink all over grocery stores and gas stations.
"I really hope he goes down for real."
~ Zelgon
"It's crazy that he even still has a following after everything he's said and done."
"People were actually cheering and rooting for him in his recent scammer vs scammer joke of a boxing match."
~ labwongames
"The world isn't running out of unattended 5-10 year olds with iPads anytime soon. That's why he still has a following."
"Or am I thinking of Jake Paul? Eh, two sh*ts, same a**hole."
~ The-Mighty-Caz
"When I taught middle school several of my students were huge fans of Logan or Jake Paul. They’d come to school in their merch and listen to their sh*tty music while they did class work."
~ SadandBougie
* Logan Paul—once called "the face of douchebag entitlement" and Jake Paul—known for prank videos—are brothers and American YouTubers who started out posting sketches on Vine.
Giphy"Multi-Level Marketing (MLMs). The vast majority of people who sign up for them make very little and a significant number lose money."
"And yet, they're everywhere."
~ LadyMageCOH
"99% of MLM sellers lose money. It’s only those at the very top that actually make anything at all."
"It’s such a scam and a fraud!"
~ greens_beans_queen
"That's why they used to be called pyramid schemes. They came up with the term MLM to make it sound better."
~ Bijorak
45
"Donald Trump/MAGA… the guy has over 50 felony charges and civil cases for fraud and rape and still has followers?"
"It’s cuckoo bananas."
"He is a con artist… and it’s so glaringly obvious!"
~ Acceptable-Bullfrog1
"I try not to be Trump this Trump that, but this is what immediately came to mind."
"He’s not good at business. He’s not good at being president. He’s oblivious to rules he doesn’t want to observe. They think he’s Christian and like, when have you seen him going to church even to fake it?
Everything he does is as obvious as his fake tan that makes him look like Magda (MAGAda? 😃) from Something About Mary.
"His MAGA minions claim they’re these shrewd people that show up on the car lot and get exactly what they want for less than it’s worth when really they’re the type to show up on the lot and leave with a Hummer they don’t need and can’t afford."
~ Orgasmic_interlude
GiphyIn the words of Carl Sagan:
"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle."
"We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth."
"The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken."
"Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.”
~ Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark
What proven frauds, scammers and grifters would you add to the list?
