It's pretty easy for one to be fired. However, there are times when I've been saddled with co-workers where the firing seemed to drag on forever. No matter how it happens, I always enjoy an exit with drama. If you gotta go, you might as well leave a lasting impression.
I've been dumbfounded by the ways I've seen people fired. For instance, if you're going to steal, try not to do it directly in front of cameras. And if you're going to show up drunk, take a breath mint first. But if you do get fired, please make it entertaining. Unless of course it's sad and a proper situation. But nobody gets fired in record time for sad reasons.
Redditor u/njaana wanted to hear about the staff members who left an impression on their way out the door, by asking:
What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?
I remember a bartender I worked with who got fired for a really crappy reason, like one customer complaint. Honestly the higher ups were not thrilled with him. When they told hm, honey... he threw a small table. BRILLIANT!!
Dimestoys r us 90s GIF Giphy
"When I worked at Babies 'R Us many years ago, a fine young lad wrote on the break room white board, "Forget you witches, hire dimes." For some reason it escaped him that there are cameras pretty much everywhere. Done after maybe three days on the job."
"Many years ago we hired a line cook that had a decent amount of experience. He started on steak night. First steak, undercooked. Refire, undercooked. Third try, undercooked, Fourth try, cow was still mooing when it came off the grill. FOH manager goes to head chef, tells him to kick him off the line, so he does. His new job was to replace me on the sauté station."
"First order he gets is for a side of asparagus, so he puts the asparagus into the hot pan, and adds enough oil to deep fry them. Well, he goes to turn them, oil escapes, hits the fire, and started a fire. He went to grab water, and if not for my head chef stealing the cup, we might have had a bigger fire. Just like that, gone. Turns out all his previous jobs were not real places, but his supervisors were just friends who lied. Total time of employment: three hours."
Out by 11...
"I was intern at a startup out of college along with three other interns. One guy was set up at a computer kinda out of the way and apparently that was the greenlight he needed to look up some porn. Anyone who's ever been an intern will tell you that someone is usually coming over to ask you for something or if you need help and sure enough, the dude was caught looking at porn by our boss. He was walked out around 11 AM so he managed a solid two hours of porno before getting caught."
"New guy, hired as quality control inspector after a lot of vetting. Job site was aluminum extrusions factory - lots of hot, sharp, and heavy things that can crush your hands and slice you up, not to mention all the moving parts. Shows up first day on the job reeking of beer. "I was just celebrating my new job with my friends before work!" Refused the booze blow test at a nearby hospital. Paperwork completed and fired after 90 minutes by the supervisor and HR."
Ruderude kim kardashian GIF by RealityTVGIFs Giphy
"It was a family owned business and she said something insensitive about the owner's recently deceased daughter."
Yeah, you have to be careful who you're talking smack around. That is lesson number one, especially if you're not solid in the lay of the land. And restaurants are always on a rolling employment. Let's continue.
CrazyAngry Stanley Kubrick GIF Giphy
"It was his second week. The guy came to work drunk af, picked the emergency axe and trashed the place with it. He got instantly fired and processed in court shortly after."
"I worked in maintenance at a beach resort. One of the housekeepers managed to get her delinquent son a job as a "runner"... someone who would collect the dirty laundry after the housekeepers stripped the beds. She was actually worried when he started working because I guess he had a bad track record with other jobs. About three days after he started working, his mother confronted him about his new expensive-looking athletic shoes and a gold chain around his neck."
"He just shot back something about having a job now which didn't make sense because he hadn't even been paid yet. Anyway, about the same time there were a couple of reports at the front desk by guests who were missing large sums of money. A police report was made and people were questioned. So after only about four days this kid was fired and went to jail for stealing from guest rooms."
Out the Door...
"New person joins company. On her first morning she wrote an email to her manager how grateful she was to be with the company, how she looked forward to working for us, and on and on. She also wrote an email to her friend about how she'd got a cushy gig and would scam them for as much training as possible for the first couple of months and then leave. Apart from the general lack of wisdom of saying this on the company email system, when writing such contradictory emails it is vitally important to put the right addressee on the right email. Walked out the door after 2.5 hrs."
At Baggage Claim
"We had a guy start in London on a Monday as large contingent left for a a conference in Seattle later that week. I met him at Heathrow with his badge and laptop on his first morning and boarded the flight with him. Longish story, but he ended up slapping a member of the flight crew because she wouldn't let him sit in business class. I called HR when we landed and fired him in baggage claim. We paid for him to fly back to the UK next day."
Awkward...Jesse Pinkman Reaction GIF by Breaking Bad Giphy
Sex the bosses daughters - yes daughters - the night he was hired. The real twist is that one of those daughters is now his wife and his former boss, his mother in law. So I guess he got the last laugh, and a lot of awkward family dinners."
"You mean don't do this?"
"I used to train new hires at a warehouse. We have a floor for robots to zoom around on, full of merchandise and cold spite. Only certified technicians may set foot on that floor. The rest of us? Instant termination if we do it. We stress this frequently throughout orientation."
"I'm training a group of new hires at a work station. It's their first night. Not even lunch yet. One of our managers comes over to introduce himself. One guy, who has already been copping an attitude, asks him about stepping on the floor. Manager reiterates what we all told everyone: Do it, and you're fired."
"Guy: "You mean don't do this?" (puts one foot on the floor)"
"And away he goes. I heard the rest of the new trainees laughing over how stupid he was. He was even whining about it the whole time his termination was being processed. I'm just glad I didn't get stuck training that snotty, dimwitted little pain in the @ss for two days."
People Explain Which Expensive Purchases Paid For Itself In The Long Run | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Call Center Crazy
"A number of years back I worked at an inbound call center that also had an upsell side to it. A new guy fresh out of training was bragging about how he did over 10 x the monthly goal in his first week alone. Didn't see him the following week and heard he was laid off because he was upgrading everyone's plans who called in to the highest costing plan without their consent or informing them. About a week or two later I got a text from him asking if I could be his reference for a new call center job he got. He somehow got a hold of a bunch of our numbers and just spammed everyone asking for a reference."
"Hired my roommate to work at a gas station I was assistant manager for. Shows up 2 hours late to replace me, and I could have gotten drunk from his breath. He went out after his construction job and got bliiiiitzed. Was mad at me for firing him. 16 hour shift that day and he treated me like trash till we moved. Is zero minutes a duration? LOL"
How Fluid...True Stories Omg GIF Giphy
"I saw this guy in interview with our boss, he was hired for 3 minutes then he peed in his desk for no reason."
"Our CEO rarely sent all-company messages unless there was great news or some major event/holiday/emergency etc. One day he sends an email reminding everyone something about an extra day off everyone earned hitting a major deadline and how and when to use it."
"New woman in accounting - looked like a nice 50 something Dallas church lady, hits the reply-all and writes "I suppose we all should bow down to Mr. Generosity for the measly day off." Meanwhile she never worked on the project or was affected by long hours."
"When she realized what she did, the other finance people in her area heard a gasp come from her desk and without saying a word to anyone, she picked up her purse, took a box, added her personal items, and walked out the door to her car never to be seen again."
Talk to the Hand
"15 minutes. Working at the wharfs where we had to unload shipping containers with forklifts; new bloke starts work who claims to be a wiz at operating forklifts. First container and he drives in too fast while another worker is opening the container door. I'm not the foreman but I have a go at him about him and tell him to pull his head in. He walks off the job muttering under his breath 'Nobody talks to me like that'."
Like a Zombie
"Call centre worker, new beginner came in hungover as crap on the 1st day of the job. Within 2 hours of their shift, they struggled to look at a computer for more than 10 minutes, couldn't form a coherent sentence, walked away from the desk without a word only to just full on faceplant in the floor of the office. I'm sure the actual termination took longer, but it was obvious they lost their job the moment they walked in like a zombie."
"this job isn't for me"
"I worked at a bill collection firm in the early 90's (don't judge me). A guy started working there, went through the 2 days of training , then started working. After about an hour, he got up and left. Didn't say "I quit." Didn't say "this job isn't for me." Didn't say "forget you." He just got up to go to the bathroom, went through the front door and drove away. It took the managers a few hours to figure out that this guy got the job with a fake name, and erased his own debt on the computer."
You're Out!I Got This Credit GIF by Hustlers Giphy
"Briefly worked as a doorman at a strip club. Had to eject two brand new strippers for lifting wallets from the guys."
"Guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won't pass a pee test, as he used his only bottle of clean pee earlier that day when he hired in. Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles... just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild."
Oh my. People really are something else. This should be a reality show, crazy people getting fired. Now that is a mess I'd watch.
Humans can connect with everything.
Which fictional character's death made you cry?
Let's get the notable ones out of the way, the ones that hit us as kids that we've never truly gotten over.
Feeling That Real World Connection
"Sirius Black; I sobbbbbbed my first read through of Order of the Phoenix ."
"As someone who's parents are dead and who's uncle became the parent by default, I can't agree more with this. I watched his death while running on the treadmill the other day and had to stop because I was crying from all orifices"
The Song Is Called "Married Life." You're Welcome.
"Ellie from Up! "
"Gets me every time"
Gotta Watch Them Bees
"Too many to count but I remember crying my eyes out at the end of My Girl when I was like, seven or eight watching it on VHS, probably the first character death that made me cry"
"His glasses! He can't see without his glasses." Gets me EVERY time"
Just When You Think There's Only One To Deal With...
"Tara from Buffy"
"Also Joyce, I bawled my eyes out"
"I'm showing Buffy to a friend for the first time and Joyce's death basically just happened. Buffy's reaction is so heartbreaking. We watched Once More With Feeling last night so Tara's death is only a few episodes away now. I'm dreading it."
Maybe it's the nature of the death, or how we feel a character didn't deserve their untimely fate, that resonates with us the most. "They didn't deserve that!" we'll scream to no one because we're in a theater or at home, watching Netflix at 3 in the morning.
You Know There's Only Going To Be One
"Ali in squid game"
"I actually cried"
"There are other scenes that made me cry in the show, but Ali's is the only one that's literally so goddamn hard for me to watch."
I'm Tired, Boss
"John Coffey from The Green Mile."
"Ughhh. It's "Don't put me in the dark boss, I'm scared of the dark" gets me every time. That and hanks grabbing his hand."
That's Somehow Worse Than Crying?
"Leslie in Bridge to Terabithia"
"I didn't cry, but I still remember vivid dreams about trying to find her in a search party on more than one occasion."
And then there's these, characters who sacrificed everything for the ensuring safety of their friends, family, and loved ones.
Men Are Imperfect
"Borimir, he died with honor, you wanna make a man cry show him a gripping scene of a man restoring his honor and being strong in the face of great adversity at the cost of his own life. The scene with him as he dies holding aragorns hand asking forgiveness and receiving it, im tearing up rn f-ck."
"Disappointing how far I had to scroll to find this response."
"Boromir was a true representative of mankind. An extremely complex character that was good at heart, but was overcome with desperation. He didn't know what would happen with his community and acted how he thought was right."
"At the end of the day, he did the right thing when his friends were in danger."
"One of the best characters ever to be created. He causes such internal strife for me every time I watch the movies. Depending how my life is at the time, I will agree with different aspects of his actions. But at the end of the day I will always respect him and cry when he dies."
He Might Have Been Your Father...
"Since I watched it again last night, Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy 2. The Ravager funeral always gets to me, especially Kraglin's reaction to it."
"He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy!"
"My wife had a six year old daughter when we met. She'd gone no contract with the father when my step daughter was 2 because he was unstable and had violent tendencies. My step daughter tracked him down when she was about 14 and started rebuilding their relationship. He'd gotten mental health treatment in the twelve years since my wife met him, so we were okay with this and she even went live with him for a while. That didn't last because he didn't have the patience to cope with the unique challenges of being a parent to her (she has her own mental health issues) and she came back home, saying that she was glad to have gotten to know him but that I was her real dad."
"Yeah, I ugly cried in the theater when Yondu died."
You Can Rest, Now
"Tony Stark, he was the first hero I watched in high school. By the time he died, I realized I'd known the guy through movies for over 10 years at that point. I had graduated college, grad school, and started a new job. All those memories of my friends learning how to play the iron man theme song were some of the best years."
"This one was harsh. I was not expecting it."
"And then you start thinking about his kid and Pepper who he left behind. Damn, I'm going to get choked up thinking about it."
I'm not crying.
Show me the money, if you've got it! Growing up wealthy is something most people only dream about. And children who grow up with money don't immediately realize the meaning of rich or the differences between their lives and the lives of their friends. And that moment can be quite the culture shock.
Imagine being six and you attend your first party. And much to your surprise one of the people from the household answers the door and you're thinking... "Where is your butler?"
Talk about a sharp look into how the other half lives.
Redditor u/itsohsodemi wanted to hear all about the times people accepted that they had financial privilege, by asking:
People that had rich parents growing up. When did you realize you were rich?
I grew up poor so I can only remember being shocked by friends having all the toys I had been asking for in duplicate. That was fun to witness. That was when I learned rich people were real and not just characters on "Dynasty."
LUCKYY!!mickey mouse 80s GIFGiphy
"When I started talking in school about the pros and cons of Disney World vs Disney Land, and people were like "YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION?! LUCKYY!!"
"Apparently it wasn't normal to go on holiday once a month."
"It's doable if you lower your standards and you're a family of 1. I made 45k and went on mini vacations every 3 weeks. Motel 6, spirit airlines, and public transit. $200-250 was all it cost me to fly away for the weekend. Not everything needs to be $800 flights to Cancun with $400/night luxury hotels!"
"I had a knee injury and was limping around everywhere ~14 years old. My parents told me they did not have the money to see the doctor. When I repeated this to my soccer coach he was in shock and pissed. Told me, "Do you know how much money your parents make?" I think he had a strong word with them and my parents took me to the doctors. Found out they were Multi Millionaires and my Dad was a CEO. My meniscus was torn."
Paycheck to Paycheck
"My parents were wealthy, but since they were good ol' Midwestern folks, they also wanted my siblings and me to work early and work hard. I got a job at 14 at a local sandwich shop and had a co-worker who was around the same age. I just assumed that she didn't need to work and was only doing it for the "character building" aspect like I was. I asked her what she was going to do with her first paycheck."
"Assuming it would be something fun, and she told me she was going to give it to her parents because they were really struggling and needed help with the bills. I was shocked. I had never met someone who needed to help their parents with bills at only 14-15. She was a really sweet girl. I hope she and her family are OK."
Free!Student Loans Corona GIF by INTO ACT!ONGiphy
"My friends talk about their student debt. I graduated debt free with my Masters Degree."
Ah to be debt-free, to have health insurance, and to be able to visit Disney World anytime you wish... the luxury of it all. How can I get adopted by some of these people?
We're FineI Am Rich Nene Leakes GIFGiphy
"When the 2008 recession had absolutely no effect on us and we still had tons of music lessons and other expensive hobbies and still went on vacations. Also when my parents bought me a horse. Not a pony, a full sized American Saddlebred (though I was a horseback rider and still was up until I was in college). We still have him too. :)"
"When my dad's friend lost his job and lost his house in a divorce, my did casually went out and bought him a new house, replaced his car and gave him a monthly "salary" for his friend to go and live his life on so he can remember that life can also be amazing. It was also the time I realised my dad (and mum) are freaking incredible. Miss that man. He was one of the good ones to get lucky with money. The man wore the same jeans every day but bought his friend a house."
"When a kid in my class (who as it happened didn't live that far away from us) bragged the day after Halloween that he and his friends had gone trick-or-treating on our street "where all the rich people live." I had always known we were well-off, but would not have described us as rich because a) we didn't have live-in staff b) our property was not fenced off and c) my parents always drove themselves. I.e., we didn't live like Richie Rich."
I am the boss.
"Dad came home late from work and I had been eagerly waiting for him for a reason I don't remember now. I do remember clearly him coming up the stairs and me asking him why did he take so long, didn't his boss allow him to leave on time? His answer was: What are you talking about? I am the boss. It suddenly hit me that the hundreds of people he had around him all day weren' t exactly his pals."
The DeedHome Luxury GIF by The Pozek GroupGiphy
"Dad owned a financial advisory company. never knew I was rich because since he was so financially literate, he just invested a lot and didn't splurge. When we moved into a new house I accidentally found the paper for the house listing and saw that the house we were moving into was a million dollars."
The house, the opulence of a home is the first dead giveaway. The limo is the other. Be rich, have fun with it. I just wish everyone was more humble though and knew how to use their financial freedom for the greater good.
Don't shy away from the truth.
This oft ignored lesson could be why there are individuals who think the worldwide pandemic is "over," but it's one that gets ignored more often than you might think. Things can be hard to stomach or accept, so often people will not listen to these truths, choosing to believe something else.
Can't escape facts when they're staring right at you in the mirror.
What is a hard pill to swallow for most people?
Life can feel like it's working against you sometimes.
It's not. It's just the way things go sometimes.
Starting Out With A Tough One...
"That doing your best does not mean you will succeed"
"Also sadly, not everyone's "best" is good enough for what they're trying to accomplish. We are not all physically, mentally and intellectually equal, and we all have different strengths."
What Are You Going To Do?
"How you react to situations shapes your reality more than the situation itself"
"This is one that I have become consciously aware of the older I have gotten. Oftentimes it is my reaction that defines the way in which the happening of an event will be categorized. So, I have been trying to train my brain not to react and instead process first as to allow me to have a rational reaction whatever that might be."
Just. Not. Into. You.
"If someone isn't into you as much as you are into them, there really isn't much you can do about it. Even just waiting is often bad for you in the long run."
Turns out the hardest lessons are the ones you need to apply to yourself.
They Come, Stay For A While, Then Move On
"not all friendships were made to last. that doesn't make you a bad person, or a bad friend, it just means it's time for you to find someone better, even if it doesn't seem like there is. (currently trying to swallow this one)"
Work For You And You Alone
"looking for others to validate your sense of worth will always end in ruin."
"Yes, stop trying to impress others or always do them favors to gain respect. Respect yourself. It gets you nothing. If the person like you before (s)he will respect you. If the person before didnt, then you're being taken advantage of."
Sometimes the harshest facts we can face are connected to ourselves, how we view ourselves, and how we feel about ourselves. If you want to face the harshest facts then you need to look inward.
I'm Sadder Than You Are
"Your suffering is only unique unto you. The fact that you suffer is universal to all life it shouldn't be a race to bottom. Which for most people it absolutely is."
"and suffering competitions are insufferable"
"Sometimes you're the toxic one in the relationship."
"This one is true, and most of the time you don't even know you are the toxic one."
"I was aware of this from the start. I'm in therapy for it now. I'm at least catching the smaller sh*t I've been doing. Like don't get me wrong I'm always sweet and try to make sure they are looked after but there are toxic things I do."
It'll Happen. Be Ready.
"That life isn't fair, you will face heart-breakingly tragic things that are beyond your control. Some more than others, but everyone has something, be kind."
Deal With Yourself
"Sometimes you are the one holding yourself back."
The world can feel like it's out to get you, to ruin everything going on for you personally.
With a little insight, a gaze into your own self-worth, you'll see that's not the case, and usually the one stopping you from succeeding is you.
Talk to someone, if you can.
Most of us have had at least one bad roommate. I had several at one point... and those were enough for me. Think about it: Large house, a bunch of different people... there was bound to be friction. I don't miss those days. The food lying around, the roommates who didn't bathe regularly and left dirty towels lying around in the single bathroom that house had or the one roommate who didn't know how to wash dishes properly. The frustration was unreal. Let's just say I escaped and years later, after a couple of other roommate situations, I thankfully live alone and stress-free!
People told us all about their worst roommates after Redditor Out-of-Simpacks asked the online community,
"What's your roommate horror story?"
"It felt weird wearing them..."
"My first college roommate hated doing laundry.
When he ran out of clean underwear for a date, he'd "borrow" mine (even though I told him to leave my stuff alone).
As I once described, he'd return my underwear unwashed after his dates with all his "smells" (and hers) trapped in the material.
It felt weird wearing them afterward, knowing his junk had been in them."
You should have put some habanero sauce in them. That would have taught him a lesson.
"Luckily another roommate..."
"College roommate put eggs on to boil for lunch, packed for spring break, and then she left. With the eggs still boiling on the stove.
Luckily another roommate came back in between classes and saw it with maybe half an inch of water left in the pan. He didn't normally come home at that time too, so we were really lucky she didn't burn the place down."
I will never understand people who don't mind the stove while cooking something. To not do so is really asking for trouble.
"I had a guy who was a grad student..."
"I had a guy who was a grad student as a roomie for a while. He would come home at 2 am and was just incapable of being quiet. Aside from slamming every door he touched, he would loudly pace up and down in the kitchen while waiting for his whistling kettle to boil. Every. Single. Night. I was so glad when he finished and left.
In contrast, the guy before him was also a grad student, kept similar hours, and was as quiet as a mouse."
Noise would drive me crazy. Thankfully, he's gone!
"She then decided..."
"My first college roommate had pictures of herself taped all over her mirror. That was my first sign. She then decided to wage war on me because she decided, for some random reason, that she didn't like me. I had friends next door and down the hall and we never really hung out with her because she had her own circle of friends. Anyway, this b*tch short-sheeted my bed, spread peanut butter on my sheets, and stole a pair of my shoes. Thank God she left after the first semester."
Sounds like narcissim to a T. You're free now!
"Then she accused me..."
"I had a roommate who liked to have sex with her boyfriend on the kitchen table. There would be condoms draped on top of the full trash can all the time.
Then she accused me of stealing her mushrooms because she forgot that she had taken them the week before.
I kicked her out, and she left the apartment key in a pile of cigarette ashes."
That's just nasty. I will never understand people who live like that.
"One of my old housemates had a bad habit of being drunk and hungry, but not having any snacks around.
His solution would be to cook while wasted. One time he was blacked out while cooking sausage on the stove at 4 am. He got distracted and left the sausage to take a SHOWER. Thankfully one of us was woken up by the smoke before the house burned down. Safe to say that he was not allowed to cook with the stove after a certain hour."
"A roommate who was an aspiring record producer..."
"A roommate who was an aspiring record producer and spent hours every day tweaking the same two songs."
This definitely got old... fast.
"I had a roommate who was frequently drunk..."
"I had a roommate who was frequently drunk and one day I came home to find him burning my clothes in the backyard. I also had to start locking my bedroom door because there were a few occasions where he came in and passed out in my bed even when I told him he wasn't in his room."
"I immediately walked out..."
"I traveled a lot as a college student and I got home after a weekend and my roommates had thrown a party, which was somewhat normal.
I went to my bed and they'd let some chick sleep in it and she peed herself.
I immediately walked out the front door and found an apartment for myself."
Good for you! Living alone was the best decision I ever made. So much relief.
"Time to dust this one off..."
"Time to dust this one off again and dive straight into the PTSD. I had a housemate who, over the span of six months managed the following:
- Encouraged a rodent infestation by leaving food out.
- Dialled the heating to full because she was cold. Whenever anyone turned it back down, she'd just dial it back up. After a week of near constant 40*C heat, I turned the heating off and smashed the thermostat. Our gas bill for that month was £500.
- Left the door unlocked while she went to work, allowing the house to get burgled. Twice.
- Flooded the house with gas by turning on the stove but failing to light it.
- Refused to pay bills because "her husband already paid them for his house". She could not grasp that each property has its own utility bills.
- Started trawling bars and bringing home random weirdos.
- Moved her smack head boyfriend in, who she'd picked up at a bar three days earlier. He started stalking other residents and lurking around the house while carrying a kitchen knife and apologising profusely."
It's a shame that living alone is so expensive and beyond reach for many people out there. (I definitely lucked out, and am thankful each and every day.)
But maybe some of you enjoy communal living! Good for you. That's all I have to say about that.
Have some horror stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!