It's pretty easy for one to be fired. However, there are times when I've been saddled with co-workers where the firing seemed to drag on forever. No matter how it happens, I always enjoy an exit with drama. If you gotta go, you might as well leave a lasting impression.
I've been dumbfounded by the ways I've seen people fired. For instance, if you're going to steal, try not to do it directly in front of cameras. And if you're going to show up drunk, take a breath mint first. But if you do get fired, please make it entertaining. Unless of course it's sad and a proper situation. But nobody gets fired in record time for sad reasons.
Redditoru/njaanawanted to hear about the staff members who left an impression on their way out the door, by asking:
What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?
I remember a bartender I worked with who got fired for a really crappy reason, like one customer complaint. Honestly the higher ups were not thrilled with him. When they told hm, honey... he threw a small table. BRILLIANT!!
Dimestoys r us 90s GIFGiphy
"When I worked at Babies 'R Us many years ago, a fine young lad wrote on the break room white board, "Forget you witches, hire dimes." For some reason it escaped him that there are cameras pretty much everywhere. Done after maybe three days on the job."
"Many years ago we hired a line cook that had a decent amount of experience. He started on steak night. First steak, undercooked. Refire, undercooked. Third try, undercooked, Fourth try, cow was still mooing when it came off the grill. FOH manager goes to head chef, tells him to kick him off the line, so he does. His new job was to replace me on the sauté station."
"First order he gets is for a side of asparagus, so he puts the asparagus into the hot pan, and adds enough oil to deep fry them. Well, he goes to turn them, oil escapes, hits the fire, and started a fire. He went to grab water, and if not for my head chef stealing the cup, we might have had a bigger fire. Just like that, gone. Turns out all his previous jobs were not real places, but his supervisors were just friends who lied. Total time of employment: three hours."
Out by 11...
"I was intern at a startup out of college along with three other interns. One guy was set up at a computer kinda out of the way and apparently that was the greenlight he needed to look up some porn. Anyone who's ever been an intern will tell you that someone is usually coming over to ask you for something or if you need help and sure enough, the dude was caught looking at porn by our boss. He was walked out around 11 AM so he managed a solid two hours of porno before getting caught."
"New guy, hired as quality control inspector after a lot of vetting. Job site was aluminum extrusions factory - lots of hot, sharp, and heavy things that can crush your hands and slice you up, not to mention all the moving parts. Shows up first day on the job reeking of beer. "I was just celebrating my new job with my friends before work!" Refused the booze blow test at a nearby hospital. Paperwork completed and fired after 90 minutes by the supervisor and HR."
Ruderude kim kardashian GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy
"It was a family owned business and she said something insensitive about the owner's recently deceased daughter."
Yeah, you have to be careful who you're talking smack around. That is lesson number one, especially if you're not solid in the lay of the land. And restaurants are always on a rolling employment. Let's continue.
CrazyAngry Stanley Kubrick GIFGiphy
"It was his second week. The guy came to work drunk af, picked the emergency axe and trashed the place with it. He got instantly fired and processed in court shortly after."
"I worked in maintenance at a beach resort. One of the housekeepers managed to get her delinquent son a job as a "runner"... someone who would collect the dirty laundry after the housekeepers stripped the beds. She was actually worried when he started working because I guess he had a bad track record with other jobs. About three days after he started working, his mother confronted him about his new expensive-looking athletic shoes and a gold chain around his neck."
"He just shot back something about having a job now which didn't make sense because he hadn't even been paid yet. Anyway, about the same time there were a couple of reports at the front desk by guests who were missing large sums of money. A police report was made and people were questioned. So after only about four days this kid was fired and went to jail for stealing from guest rooms."
Out the Door...
"New person joins company. On her first morning she wrote an email to her manager how grateful she was to be with the company, how she looked forward to working for us, and on and on. She also wrote an email to her friend about how she'd got a cushy gig and would scam them for as much training as possible for the first couple of months and then leave. Apart from the general lack of wisdom of saying this on the company email system, when writing such contradictory emails it is vitally important to put the right addressee on the right email. Walked out the door after 2.5 hrs."
At Baggage Claim
"We had a guy start in London on a Monday as large contingent left for a a conference in Seattle later that week. I met him at Heathrow with his badge and laptop on his first morning and boarded the flight with him. Longish story, but he ended up slapping a member of the flight crew because she wouldn't let him sit in business class. I called HR when we landed and fired him in baggage claim. We paid for him to fly back to the UK next day."
Awkward...Jesse Pinkman Reaction GIF by Breaking BadGiphy
Sex the bosses daughters - yes daughters - the night he was hired. The real twist is that one of those daughters is now his wife and his former boss, his mother in law. So I guess he got the last laugh, and a lot of awkward family dinners."
"You mean don't do this?"
"I used to train new hires at a warehouse. We have a floor for robots to zoom around on, full of merchandise and cold spite. Only certified technicians may set foot on that floor. The rest of us? Instant termination if we do it. We stress this frequently throughout orientation."
"I'm training a group of new hires at a work station. It's their first night. Not even lunch yet. One of our managers comes over to introduce himself. One guy, who has already been copping an attitude, asks him about stepping on the floor. Manager reiterates what we all told everyone: Do it, and you're fired."
"Guy: "You mean don't do this?" (puts one foot on the floor)"
"And away he goes. I heard the rest of the new trainees laughing over how stupid he was. He was even whining about it the whole time his termination was being processed. I'm just glad I didn't get stuck training that snotty, dimwitted little pain in the @ss for two days."
People Explain Which Expensive Purchases Paid For Itself In The Long Run | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Call Center Crazy
"A number of years back I worked at an inbound call center that also had an upsell side to it. A new guy fresh out of training was bragging about how he did over 10 x the monthly goal in his first week alone. Didn't see him the following week and heard he was laid off because he was upgrading everyone's plans who called in to the highest costing plan without their consent or informing them. About a week or two later I got a text from him asking if I could be his reference for a new call center job he got. He somehow got a hold of a bunch of our numbers and just spammed everyone asking for a reference."
"Hired my roommate to work at a gas station I was assistant manager for. Shows up 2 hours late to replace me, and I could have gotten drunk from his breath. He went out after his construction job and got bliiiiitzed. Was mad at me for firing him. 16 hour shift that day and he treated me like trash till we moved. Is zero minutes a duration? LOL"
How Fluid...True Stories Omg GIFGiphy
"I saw this guy in interview with our boss, he was hired for 3 minutes then he peed in his desk for no reason."
"Our CEO rarely sent all-company messages unless there was great news or some major event/holiday/emergency etc. One day he sends an email reminding everyone something about an extra day off everyone earned hitting a major deadline and how and when to use it."
"New woman in accounting - looked like a nice 50 something Dallas church lady, hits the reply-all and writes "I suppose we all should bow down to Mr. Generosity for the measly day off." Meanwhile she never worked on the project or was affected by long hours."
"When she realized what she did, the other finance people in her area heard a gasp come from her desk and without saying a word to anyone, she picked up her purse, took a box, added her personal items, and walked out the door to her car never to be seen again."
Talk to the Hand
"15 minutes. Working at the wharfs where we had to unload shipping containers with forklifts; new bloke starts work who claims to be a wiz at operating forklifts. First container and he drives in too fast while another worker is opening the container door. I'm not the foreman but I have a go at him about him and tell him to pull his head in. He walks off the job muttering under his breath 'Nobody talks to me like that'."
Like a Zombie
"Call centre worker, new beginner came in hungover as crap on the 1st day of the job. Within 2 hours of their shift, they struggled to look at a computer for more than 10 minutes, couldn't form a coherent sentence, walked away from the desk without a word only to just full on faceplant in the floor of the office. I'm sure the actual termination took longer, but it was obvious they lost their job the moment they walked in like a zombie."
"this job isn't for me"
"I worked at a bill collection firm in the early 90's (don't judge me). A guy started working there, went through the 2 days of training , then started working. After about an hour, he got up and left. Didn't say "I quit." Didn't say "this job isn't for me." Didn't say "forget you." He just got up to go to the bathroom, went through the front door and drove away. It took the managers a few hours to figure out that this guy got the job with a fake name, and erased his own debt on the computer."
You're Out!I Got This Credit GIF by HustlersGiphy
"Briefly worked as a doorman at a strip club. Had to eject two brand new strippers for lifting wallets from the guys."
"Guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won't pass a pee test, as he used his only bottle of clean pee earlier that day when he hired in. Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles... just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild."
Oh my. People really are something else. This should be a reality show, crazy people getting fired. Now that is a mess I'd watch.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
We love movies.
Movies and entertainment save the world.
But some movies can send you into a messy place.
Some topics are just a lot to handle.
That is why some films, when done right and authentically, are just too real to experience.
No need to watch that again.
Redditor Kilo_616 wanted to discuss the films that have left us... SHOOK!!
"What’s a good f**ked up movie?"
I don't really seek out these types of movies, but one that stands out for me is 'Monster.'
Charlize and Christina are BRILLIANT!
Hopelesscold war documentary GIF by Kino LorberGiphy
"Threads. Depiction of nuclear war that is unanimously loved over in r/horror. A year later it still bothers me"
"They showed this movie to us as kids in Elementary School. So yeah. Why have a childhood that contains hope anyway?"
"Wasn't popular and reception was mixed, but I always enjoyed Cube. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cube_(1997_film)"
"Cube 2 hypercube wasn't that great but I love the title so much. Whenever I heard of any sequel that's the original name + 2 I always have to add the hyper in my head. Saw 2 - Hypersaw. It cracks me up an embarrassing amount."
"CUBE IS AMAZING. Nobody can tell me otherwise. And that Cube-esque multiplayer game that was made too."
"Cube is a 10/10 for me. I love that movie."
Switch to Home Printone hour photo smile GIFGiphy
"One Hour Photo."
"I ran a one hour photo at CVS when that movie came out. There's a scene where Robin Williams is in full respirator PPE gear dumping out the chemicals. I was like 'I do that in my work clothes.'"
"That movie is crazy. First time I realized what a brilliant dramatic actor Robin Williams was."
The French One
"Martyrs (the original french). Weirdly beautiful in a very morbid way."
"That was my thought as well. This movie really just puts you in an uncomfortable place by the end. French horror is weird."
"I've not yet been able to watch Inside. Anytime I get close I just think of how I felt for weeks after Martyrs and put on a 10 hour animated video of the kittens in a marching band to soothe myself."
"I hadn't thought about Martyrs since I watched it ten years ago and just reading the title gave me anxiety. On my way to cat vids now!"
Mitch?pans labyrinth faun GIFGiphy
"Pan’s Labyrinth. I was not expecting that at all!!!"
"My favorite part is when the girl eats a grape and Mitch McConnell chases her."
That Pan's creature is for nightmares only! I mean, Lord. I can't with that movie.
"Requiem for a Dream. The movie starts 'effed up and goes into a complete whirlwind from then."
"You think it can't get worse and then it does. Again and again."
"I just watched this about a year ago for the first time, have watched it 2 more times and it's insane. The whole movie feels like you are actively doing drugs. Starts out with an amazing high and rush and then you just feel like trash. Loved it."
THAT MovieOh No Art GIF by Arrow VideoGiphy
"We Need To Talk About Kevin."
"Unbelievable that thus is so low. Tilda Swinton is phenomenal in it. She really nailed the part of 'person in close contact with Ezra Miller.'"
"This is the first movie that came to mind. It was Thanksgiving. A few friends laying around, enjoying our turkey hangover, smoking a little, not paying close attention. And then, 'Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?' Talk about a plot twist!"
"This was my thought too. There are a handful of films that are great but I've never successfully recommended to anybody because I can't describe them in a way that makes anybody want to watch them. Incendies is one of those films."
VisceralSnowtown Murders Horror GIF by ShudderGiphy
"Snowtown. It's a depiction of one of the most prolific serial killers in Australian history. It's very visceral. It all feels very real when you watch it."
"I just heard a podcast about the real story. I'm not sure I'm ready to watch that yet."
"Trainspotting. Make sure you also read the book."
"Trainspotting is a great movie, and I enjoyed the second one too. But in terms of f**ked-upness The Acid House is along similar lines but next level."
"The scene that really broke me was the 'toilet scene.' I'm really sensitive when it comes to human excrements so this disgusted me beyond belief. Absolute nightmare fuel. I will never watch that movie again, that's for sure."
"I saw Trainspotting years ago in the midst of my own drug addiction (clean now 7 yrs) and actually loved it. I’m ashamed to say I had no idea there was a book but I’m definitely gonna read it now."
I'm not sure about this list. But, I'll take a look. With the lights on. During the day.
When we're kids, being an adult and getting to do whatever we want often seems like the bestest, most awesome thing we could imagine.
But not everything is better as an adult.
Jobs, responsibilities, and that weird back pain you always seem to get when you sit at your desk too long are just part of getting older. A lot of things that were awesome as a kid just don't hit the same as an adult either.
Redditor Athompson9866 asked:
"What was f'king awesome as a kid, but sucks as an adult?"
"People coming to your house to visit and stay a few days."
"Losing a tooth"
"Oh yes! Can you imagine running around showing your family: 'Look! I lost a tooth! Doesn't it make me look adorable?'"
"And when you are a kid, a lost tooth makes you money. $ As an adult, it costs you way more than all the money the tooth fairy ever gave you."
It's All Junk
"Getting mail. I remember everyday begging my parents if I got mail. (I had pen pals). I got so excited when something came for me. Now I dread going to the mailbox because all that will be there are bills."
"Always bills 😞"
"And junk scams or advertisements"
Doughboys Cost How Much?!
"The State Fair. Especially now that I have to pay for everything."
"My parents took us to Disney World for a week as kids. I went for 4 days with my husband a few years ago and wanted to go home with how expensive everything was. I went home and thanked my parents for that trip."
"'2 slices of pizza and 2 sodas? That’ll be $35 please.' —The County Fair"
Get In, Get Out
"Going to the mall. I used to like browsing stores, but now I just want to get what I need and go."
"I mean, most malls are also depressing vistas of empty storefronts bookended by a department store on life support these days"
"There used to be fun things at the mall. An arcade, stores with stuff in them to look at... now it's empty except for maybe a drug store and a grocery store."
World Go Spinny
"Spinning in circles."
"I try to do that now while holding my little one and I do about two spins before I'm lightheaded and dizzy as a drunk."
"Turning my head too fast makes me dizzy and nauseated lol"
"I was soooo surprised by this as an adult! Spinning and rollercoasters are fun as a child. I tried that as an adult with my kids and felt like I was going to die. The dizziness takes so much longer to go away and you feel terrible the whole time."
"Staying awake till 2 in the morning as a teen/young adult: 'Yea baby!! the possibilities are ENDLESS!!'"
"Staying awake till 2 in the morning as a 40-something: 'This is gonna hurt in the morning'"
"My circadian rhythm is set so firmly that I know I'm still gonna wake up at 7 am no matter how late I try to stay up so I hate staying up past 1 am. I'm usually in bed by like 9:30pm these days just cause I'd rather get comfortable and play a game on my phone until I get sleepy."
"I'm 38 with the sleep schedule of a 4 year old but I don't care."
All Pain, All The Time
"No Pain! I could fall down, scrap my knee and cry for like 1 minute and then get back up and ride a bike, or play tag or whatever. Now, I fall down... I am staying down and may need Life Alert! I have to take advil, put my knee up with Ice, and complain to my wife how painful it is for the next week. That is if I am lucky and didn't break the whole thing."
"So I'm like into jogging now and I wished I got into it when I was younger. After a run, I felt this weird pain, like a bruise, on the back of my right foot. Long story short, it's Haglund's deformity. I googled it and it said, 'it's a common injury that occurs to middle aged people who runs.'"
"I don't know what hurts more, my foot or my self esteem when I realize now I'm middle-aged."
🎶 Summer Breeze Makes Me Feel ... Blah
"Summer. When you’re a kid, it's three months of freedom from school. When you’re an adult, you still have to go to work, but now it’s sweltering hot and you’re sweating your balls off all day, every day."
"This is the answer I was looking for. It’s even harder if you are a working parent - trying to give your kid that super awesome summer while trying to keep your job. That balance between 'I want to come play at the park with you' and 'I really don’t want to lose my job' is hard."
"Staying home on a sick day."
"As a kid it was a huge victory, got to stay in bed all day, watch TV, and having a parent tend to your every need. Then as an adult you're just thinking about the work you're gonna have to make up for and how you hope you don't need to go to a doctor."
"Hehe, now there's WFH so you can be sick AND still work! Got COVID? Well, we have to get this proposal out today and you have a laptop, right?"
Adulthood definitely isn't the sunshine and roses most of us thought it was going to be when we were little, that's for sure.
Life is full of mysteries. And while we seem to be cognizant of many of life's miracles, it's obvious there is still much to discover within the vastness of our existence.
Much of the world's known facts are fascinating–some even inspiring.
But there are some facts that are just downright ominous and unsettling to an extent where ignorance is bliss.
Curious to explore what these might be, Redditor Vacancier1807 asked:
"What are some VERY creepy facts?"
These medical anomalies are very unsettling.
The Right Match
"If you get a blood transfusion and get the wrong type of blood (A, B, O, AB) one of the symptoms is 'a sense of impending doom.'"
Don't Underestimate Beauty
"There's a tiny little jellyfish which can induce the same sensation of impending doom... Along with some serious pain and likely hospitalization. It's only tiny as well, about the size of a fingernail, although the tentacles are much longer, maybe about a meter long."
"It's called the Irukandji jellyfish."
"There is a genetic disease called fibrodisplaysia ossificans progresiva. When tissue is damaged, it is replaced with bone."
"Growths form underneath their skin and their joints lock solid. So over time, those affected slowly become encased in a prison of bone just beneath their own skin."
"They usually have to choose between sitting or standing up for the rest of their life. By the end of their life they have to drink every meal through a straw and can barely move"
Invincible Micro Killers
"Bacteria and viruses can be frozen for millions of years and still be viably infectious, and having never encountered humanity before, could have no end of catastrophic results should they be uncovered and manage to infect a person or animal."
"Not to worry though, it’s not like millions of ancient pathogens are currently trapped in permafrost which is now melting bit by bit each and every day..."
The unpredictable things people do are confounding.
Monster Among Us
"The Colombian serial killer Pedro Alonso Lopez, who is known as the Monster of the Andes, murdered over 300 girls from Ecuador, Peru and Colombia. However, after he was caught and imprisoned for 18 years, he was put in a psychiatric hospital. There he was reviewed, declared to be sane and was set free, in spite of his blatant avowal that he fully intends to kill again. Since he was released in 1998, nobody knows where he is or what he’s doing. ( He is supposed to be 71 years old at present).He is known for being the most prolific killer ever."
"Over 90% of Serial Killers choose their victims through sexual desire. In fact, many serial killers have been caught because they returned to the body of their victims to pleasure themselves."
"Rosemary Kennedy was JFK’s sister. She suffered from oxygen deprivation at birth and that unfortunately stunted her mental growth. She had a pretty decent childhood, but as she grew older she began to act out. Afraid that her behavior would risk his political career, her father, Joseph, agreed to have her lobotomized. Her mother, Rose, was against it and forbade him from doing it. So he did it behind her back when she went on a trip."
"After the operation, Rosemary’s already low IQ was lowered even further, to the point she could no longer walk or communicate. Her family had her locked up in an institution and basically disowned her. They never visited and never publicly acknowledged her anymore. Rosemary died at the age of 86. Her mother never forgave her husband for what he had done."
Preference For Flesh
"Remember that bath salts cannibal guy from a couple years back?"
"He wasn't high on bath salts when he did that. That was just media speculation and bullsh*t. They only found pot in his system during the autopsy."
"We still have no idea why he flipped out."
Consider this perspective.
What Separates Us From The Animals
"Humans eyes dont reflect light at night like animals do. I like to say this fact to my wife at a camp fire."
"Your eyes have a separate immune system from the rest of your body. If they get damaged in such a way that it affects anything other than your eyes, your regular immune system can attack the damage and will not recognise them, meaning your own body can permanently blind you."
"What's worse, your body cannot tell the difference between either eye. If one of them gets infected or damaged, your immune system can attack your healthy eye and take away your sight entirely."
I know for a fact that the creepiest thing in existence is the Island of the Dolls located in the channels of Xochimilco, Mexico.
It's an island where people have unceremonisouly hung dolls from the tree on the island.
No one really knows who and when it started. Legend has it the island's former occupant believed the dolls warded off spirits–including that of a girl who drowned in the waters near the island.
I won't be making a stop there on a river cruise anytime soon. Creepy.
People are often impressed by those who are multilingual–mainly because they can't imagine having the ability to communicate with others in different languages themselves.
Equally respected individuals are those who can play multiple musical instruments. Sure, playing the piano alone is impressive. But if a pianist can also play the bass and drums–essentially being their own one-person band–that is also a major wow factor.
So if you had the option to have the capacity for one or the other, which would it be?
That is the query Redditor MrJoelDude posed online, asking:
"Would you rather be the best at speaking every language or be the best at playing every instrument? Why?"
Things kicked off with wisecracks.
"does either skill require upkeep of any kind?"
"will these skills diminish if I don't keep them sharp?"
As In "Be Flat"
"No they will Bb."
"Pack it up folks the comment section has been won."
The Hits Keep Coming
"He's A natural."
"I C what you did there."
But, seriously, folks.
Here's what music lovers had to say.
An Introvert Responds
"Ooh, that's tough. Speaking every language would be so amazing, because you could communicate with literally anyone. You could talk to anyone on the whole planet, and I bet you could also get a fantastic, well-paid job with that skill."
"But I don't like people all that much. I'd find it much more personally satisfying to be able to be able to play any instrument. How amazing it would be, to be able to express myself with any instrument that exists. You could also be a musician and that would be way better for me than being an interpreter. So I'd have to go with that."
"As a professional translator with musical aspirations, this is one of the hardest questions for me. Obviously, the languages would make me the most useful person in the office and I'd be set for life, but being able to play every instrument has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and it would allow me to make all the music I've always wanted to but didn't know anyone with the right skills and interests."
"Instrument. I am scared of social interaction."
What Legends Are Made Of
"Also great to learn if you're highly social and want fans the world over. I don't think people realize the significance of this premise. You'd be the very best in the world at every musical instrument. Better than Hendrix, Page, Clapton, SRV, Chuck Berry, David Gilmour, Van Halen, Prince, Mark Knopfler etc. at the guitar."
"Better than Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Debussy, Thelonious Monk, Kieth Jarrett, Duke, Art Tatum, and every 9 year old prodigy ever at piano. Better than Miles at the trumpet and Coltrane at the sax. Better than Gene Krupa, Stewart Copeland, John Bonham, Danny Carey, Neil Peart, Buddy Rich, etc. at the drums. Better than Les Claypool, Jaco Pastorius, Mingus, Bootsy Collins, Wooten, Cliff Burton, Geddy Lee at the bass. All at the same time."
"You could easily make it as a studio or live session musician but if that musical ability came with a bit of songwriting/compositional talent/luck than you could release some of the greatest music ever. Nobody who has a legitimate discography of some of the greatest music ever remains a nobody for long—especially in the age of the internet."
"Obviously one could make an argument that songwriting ability matters far more than raw musicianship and that person would probably point to artists like The Beatles and Kurt Cobain who were far from the greatest musicians of their respective ages—or any age—but still managed to write timeless, classic, hit music, but raw musicianship can still go a long way in allowing one to manifest one's creativity."
The art of language spoke to these Redditors.
Hear Me Roar
"Speak every language. I’ve always wanted to speak T-Rex."
"Language. If it's every language, it means I could speak dead languages and translate some of the oldest texts in the world. That would be super cool."
"I am a world traveling professional musician. I can play a handful of instruments but I can only speak one language. To have access to a foreign language while abroad in say ,India where there many. Would be a super power. To sing to people in there own tounges everywhere I go would be a treasure to myself and my audience. The absolute hardest and most dangerous part about traveling the world is not knowing the language."
Would Be Outta This World
"Every language because I would dress like C-3PO and mess with people."
Because I love to travel, I would prefer the ability to speak multiple languages.
But either way, the ability to speak different languages or play different instruments are great options.
Since communication has the powerful potential to bring people from different backgrounds together–whether through the universal appeal of music or through common language–it could greatly benefit much of humanity.