People Break Down The Fastest They've Ever Seen A New Employee Get Fired
Image by Mediamodifier from Pixabay |
It's pretty easy for one to be fired. However, there are times when I've been saddled with co-workers where the firing seemed to drag on forever. No matter how it happens, I always enjoy an exit with drama. If you gotta go, you might as well leave a lasting impression.
I've been dumbfounded by the ways I've seen people fired. For instance, if you're going to steal, try not to do it directly in front of cameras. And if you're going to show up drunk, take a breath mint first. But if you do get fired, please make it entertaining. Unless of course it's sad and a proper situation. But nobody gets fired in record time for sad reasons.
Redditoru/njaanawanted to hear about the staff members who left an impression on their way out the door, by asking:
What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?
I remember a bartender I worked with who got fired for a really crappy reason, like one customer complaint. Honestly the higher ups were not thrilled with him. When they told hm, honey... he threw a small table. BRILLIANT!!
Dimes
toys r us 90s GIFGiphy"When I worked at Babies 'R Us many years ago, a fine young lad wrote on the break room white board, "Forget you witches, hire dimes." For some reason it escaped him that there are cameras pretty much everywhere. Done after maybe three days on the job."
3 Hours
"Many years ago we hired a line cook that had a decent amount of experience. He started on steak night. First steak, undercooked. Refire, undercooked. Third try, undercooked, Fourth try, cow was still mooing when it came off the grill. FOH manager goes to head chef, tells him to kick him off the line, so he does. His new job was to replace me on the sauté station."
"First order he gets is for a side of asparagus, so he puts the asparagus into the hot pan, and adds enough oil to deep fry them. Well, he goes to turn them, oil escapes, hits the fire, and started a fire. He went to grab water, and if not for my head chef stealing the cup, we might have had a bigger fire. Just like that, gone. Turns out all his previous jobs were not real places, but his supervisors were just friends who lied. Total time of employment: three hours."
Out by 11...
"I was intern at a startup out of college along with three other interns. One guy was set up at a computer kinda out of the way and apparently that was the greenlight he needed to look up some porn. Anyone who's ever been an intern will tell you that someone is usually coming over to ask you for something or if you need help and sure enough, the dude was caught looking at porn by our boss. He was walked out around 11 AM so he managed a solid two hours of porno before getting caught."
90 Minutes
"New guy, hired as quality control inspector after a lot of vetting. Job site was aluminum extrusions factory - lots of hot, sharp, and heavy things that can crush your hands and slice you up, not to mention all the moving parts. Shows up first day on the job reeking of beer. "I was just celebrating my new job with my friends before work!" Refused the booze blow test at a nearby hospital. Paperwork completed and fired after 90 minutes by the supervisor and HR."
Rude
rude kim kardashian GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy"It was a family owned business and she said something insensitive about the owner's recently deceased daughter."
Yeah, you have to be careful who you're talking smack around. That is lesson number one, especially if you're not solid in the lay of the land. And restaurants are always on a rolling employment. Let's continue.
Crazy
Angry Stanley Kubrick GIFGiphy"It was his second week. The guy came to work drunk af, picked the emergency axe and trashed the place with it. He got instantly fired and processed in court shortly after."
- Bonguri
Thief
"I worked in maintenance at a beach resort. One of the housekeepers managed to get her delinquent son a job as a "runner"... someone who would collect the dirty laundry after the housekeepers stripped the beds. She was actually worried when he started working because I guess he had a bad track record with other jobs. About three days after he started working, his mother confronted him about his new expensive-looking athletic shoes and a gold chain around his neck."
"He just shot back something about having a job now which didn't make sense because he hadn't even been paid yet. Anyway, about the same time there were a couple of reports at the front desk by guests who were missing large sums of money. A police report was made and people were questioned. So after only about four days this kid was fired and went to jail for stealing from guest rooms."
Out the Door...
"New person joins company. On her first morning she wrote an email to her manager how grateful she was to be with the company, how she looked forward to working for us, and on and on. She also wrote an email to her friend about how she'd got a cushy gig and would scam them for as much training as possible for the first couple of months and then leave. Apart from the general lack of wisdom of saying this on the company email system, when writing such contradictory emails it is vitally important to put the right addressee on the right email. Walked out the door after 2.5 hrs."
- pmc666
At Baggage Claim
"We had a guy start in London on a Monday as large contingent left for a a conference in Seattle later that week. I met him at Heathrow with his badge and laptop on his first morning and boarded the flight with him. Longish story, but he ended up slapping a member of the flight crew because she wouldn't let him sit in business class. I called HR when we landed and fired him in baggage claim. We paid for him to fly back to the UK next day."
Awkward...
Jesse Pinkman Reaction GIF by Breaking BadGiphySex the bosses daughters - yes daughters - the night he was hired. The real twist is that one of those daughters is now his wife and his former boss, his mother in law. So I guess he got the last laugh, and a lot of awkward family dinners."
"You mean don't do this?"
"I used to train new hires at a warehouse. We have a floor for robots to zoom around on, full of merchandise and cold spite. Only certified technicians may set foot on that floor. The rest of us? Instant termination if we do it. We stress this frequently throughout orientation."
"I'm training a group of new hires at a work station. It's their first night. Not even lunch yet. One of our managers comes over to introduce himself. One guy, who has already been copping an attitude, asks him about stepping on the floor. Manager reiterates what we all told everyone: Do it, and you're fired."
"Guy: "You mean don't do this?" (puts one foot on the floor)"
"And away he goes. I heard the rest of the new trainees laughing over how stupid he was. He was even whining about it the whole time his termination was being processed. I'm just glad I didn't get stuck training that snotty, dimwitted little pain in the @ss for two days."
People Explain Which Expensive Purchases Paid For Itself In The Long Run | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Call Center Crazy
"A number of years back I worked at an inbound call center that also had an upsell side to it. A new guy fresh out of training was bragging about how he did over 10 x the monthly goal in his first week alone. Didn't see him the following week and heard he was laid off because he was upgrading everyone's plans who called in to the highest costing plan without their consent or informing them. About a week or two later I got a text from him asking if I could be his reference for a new call center job he got. He somehow got a hold of a bunch of our numbers and just spammed everyone asking for a reference."
BLIIIITZED!!
"Hired my roommate to work at a gas station I was assistant manager for. Shows up 2 hours late to replace me, and I could have gotten drunk from his breath. He went out after his construction job and got bliiiiitzed. Was mad at me for firing him. 16 hour shift that day and he treated me like trash till we moved. Is zero minutes a duration? LOL"
- crumps2
How Fluid...
True Stories Omg GIFGiphy"I saw this guy in interview with our boss, he was hired for 3 minutes then he peed in his desk for no reason."
Wrong Email
"Our CEO rarely sent all-company messages unless there was great news or some major event/holiday/emergency etc. One day he sends an email reminding everyone something about an extra day off everyone earned hitting a major deadline and how and when to use it."
"New woman in accounting - looked like a nice 50 something Dallas church lady, hits the reply-all and writes "I suppose we all should bow down to Mr. Generosity for the measly day off." Meanwhile she never worked on the project or was affected by long hours."
"When she realized what she did, the other finance people in her area heard a gasp come from her desk and without saying a word to anyone, she picked up her purse, took a box, added her personal items, and walked out the door to her car never to be seen again."
Talk to the Hand
"15 minutes. Working at the wharfs where we had to unload shipping containers with forklifts; new bloke starts work who claims to be a wiz at operating forklifts. First container and he drives in too fast while another worker is opening the container door. I'm not the foreman but I have a go at him about him and tell him to pull his head in. He walks off the job muttering under his breath 'Nobody talks to me like that'."
Like a Zombie
"Call centre worker, new beginner came in hungover as crap on the 1st day of the job. Within 2 hours of their shift, they struggled to look at a computer for more than 10 minutes, couldn't form a coherent sentence, walked away from the desk without a word only to just full on faceplant in the floor of the office. I'm sure the actual termination took longer, but it was obvious they lost their job the moment they walked in like a zombie."
"this job isn't for me"
"I worked at a bill collection firm in the early 90's (don't judge me). A guy started working there, went through the 2 days of training , then started working. After about an hour, he got up and left. Didn't say "I quit." Didn't say "this job isn't for me." Didn't say "forget you." He just got up to go to the bathroom, went through the front door and drove away. It took the managers a few hours to figure out that this guy got the job with a fake name, and erased his own debt on the computer."
- M_Looka
You're Out!
I Got This Credit GIF by HustlersGiphy"Briefly worked as a doorman at a strip club. Had to eject two brand new strippers for lifting wallets from the guys."
Safety First
"Guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won't pass a pee test, as he used his only bottle of clean pee earlier that day when he hired in. Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles... just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild."
Oh my. People really are something else. This should be a reality show, crazy people getting fired. Now that is a mess I'd watch.
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When people feel as if they've been wronged, their initial instinct is to retaliate.
Getting revenge is a negative impulse in which the victim feels they can only move on from the situation only after inflicting a similar level of emotional or physical pain or embarassment.
That's not everyone's style, however, and it's not up to us to stoop to the lowest common denominator and give in to our darkest urges to seek justice.
But if you take a moment and consider other alternatives, certain forms of revenge can be sweet.
These were explored when Redditor Fronzie7 quoted a famous music icon to ask:
"Frank Sinatra said, 'The best revenge is massive success' What's a real-life example of this?"
Everyone loves a good Hollywood ending.
You Know You've Made It When You're On A Lunchbox
"Michael J.Fox has a great story about when he started out. Some big wheel at the network didn't like him for the role of Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties. He was too short, not cute, not heart throb enough, you're never going to see his face on a lunch box. But the producer cast him anyway and the show shot to number one and stayed there."
"Fox sent him a Family Ties lunch box with his face on it and then Back to the Future 1,2,3 lunch boxes."
– Hazelsmom64
A Rocky Start To An Amazing Career
"Sylvester Stallone as well. Casting agents told him he was too stupid looking and he'd only get small roles as the thug who got beaten up. He said he literally went to every casting agent in NYC and got rejected by all of them."
"Even after he wrote Rocky and found producers, they didn't want him to star in it."
– YounomsayinMawfk
The Dreamgirl Who Never Stopped Dreaming
"Jennifer Hudson lost American Idol and became more successful than the winner."
– Stashdragon
"She is a recent EGOT winner and the youngest woman to do it. 7th Place looks fantastic on her."
– jdmccoy
Against all odds, the end result was a victory for these accomplished individuals.
Home Surveillance Home Run
"The guy who invented Ring cameras went on Shark Tank and was rejected by everyone. They all thought it would fail….we’ll you know the rest."
– Ruzzthabus
"He went back on Shark Tank after that, but this time as one of the sharks."
– 1Land_1Keep
The Skies The Limit
"Ron McNair had the police called on him when he was little because he was black and reading in a library. He grew up to be an astronaut and the library he was kicked out of was later named after him."
– sperdush
"For those who may not be familiar with his name; he was one of the Challenger crew members on January 28, 1986."
– This-Marsupial-6187
Emerged From The Shallow
"When Lady GaGa was in college, some of her classmates had a Facebook group called 'Stefani Germanotta, you'll never be famous.'"
"Pretty sure she proved them wrong."
– NotHisRealName
Now these are smart business moves.
Recipe For Success
"Erin French, chef-owner of restaurant The Lost Kitchen in rural Maine."
"Co-owned a restaurant in the town of Belfast with her husband; a very tumultuous relationship ended with him changing the locks on the building with all of her equipment inside."
"She licked her wounds, leased space in an old mill building in her tiny hometown of Freedom, and built from the ground one of the best restaurants in the country, with a coveted reservation that is fabled for its difficulty to get a table. Has her own multi-season documentary on TV and is absolutely killing it in the culinary world now."
– Girhinomofe
A Toy Story
"George Lucas got the ownership of the toy rights to star wars because they don’t think it would be successful. He made an absolute killing on those."
– Birds-aint-real-
"Not just the toy rights, he got the entire IP in exchange for waiving is salary."
– xdert
Lamborghini Origin Story
"Italian industrialist, builder of tractors, made a mint out of it and rewarded himself with a new Ferrari."
"Ferrari broke down. Needed a new clutch. Wealthy industrialist waited patiently for his new clutch to arrive, and after many weeks it finally showed up - same clutch he was putting in his tractors, more than twice the price."
"A little bit annoyed at this, he rang Ferrari to complain. They told him 'go back to building tractors, leave supercars to us.'"
"And Lamborghini was born..."
– RaffiaWorkBase
Gaming Victory
"Sony and Nintendo were working on a console together before the N64 came out, intending to utilize Nintendo's gaming hardware combined with Sony's sound tech to create games with more immersive sound capabilities than have been seen before. Partway through development and immediately following Sony's announcement of their partnership, Nintendo backed out of the deal, which if you're not aware of Japanese business etiquette, is kind of a d*ck move."
"Nintendo backed out to work with Philips to put Nintendo games on the CDi, which resulted in the worst-received Nintendo games of all time."
"Sony, out of spite, went on to make the PlayStation, one of the best-selling consoles in gaming history, and cement themselves as a massive player in the console wars to this day."
– Critical-String8774
Be Kind And Rewind
"Blockbuster laughed baby Netflix out of the room with their idea. Then later, grown-up Netflix killed blockbuster."
– ChurroForSure-o
"Best thing for Netflix, really. Blockbuster would have driven themselves and the Netflix rent model out of business through mismanagement."
"I don't know about you, but I can't live in a world without Voltron: Legendary Defender."
– Tobias_Atwood
So what's the moral of the story?
Basically, always be kind and never make anyone feel less than they deserve. You never know what the future brings, and you putting down someone for your own fleeting gain will come back to haunt you.
Also, remember that karma works in mysterious ways.
Danger comes in many forms.
Treacherous roads and weather, dubious substances, spoiled or undercooked food, and even people.
Yes, sometimes even being near, or even knowing of certain people, can result in finding yourself in a dangerous situation.
As they may pressure you to take part in something which puts your health and safety at risk, or their behavior is known to have had both physical and emotional consequences on others.
Many try to keep their distance from these people, for others doing so sadly just isn't possible.
"Who is undoubtedly the most dangerous person you know?"
How Did She Even Get a License?
"My mom has totaled around 5 cars."
"She's a terrible driver, shouldn't even be on the road."
"If she's driving I'll say "'ll take my car and meet you there'."- uncultured_swine2099
But Lives To Tell The Tale...
"My dad eats mushrooms from his backyard, and hoses out his toaster and hangs it by the cord on the washing line to dry."- misspoopyloopy
An Unfortunate Addition To The Family
"My brother-in-law."
"He’s a chronic alcoholic with a narcissistic personality and violent tendencies."
"He has assaulted each of his siblings."
"He’s been enabled and taught to be a victim his whole life."
"I’m terrified of him, but he’s someone you never want to show fear or weakness."- Consistent-Common196
How Did She Even Make It That Far?
"A nurse I have worked with once."
"She completely stepped over boundaries, disconnected a picc line without informing me (the picc trained nurse), didn't wear gloves or wash her hands."
"Couldn't take criticism or couldn't be taught about the error of her clinical judgement."
"Instead shouted at myself, the patient and other staff."
"Didn't come back so she's probably moved on to another area."
"The patient?"
"That was her last go at palliative chemo to give her some more months of quality time with her children."
"The picc blocked."
"They didn't give her another one."
"That nurse contributed to that woman having less time with her family."
"I will never forgive her."- DragonmamaGlasgow
The Older We Get, It's Important To Know Our Limits
"My grandad, when he was alive."
"He was a sweet, humble old man who loved gardening but oh my god I do not know who allowed him to keep driving."
"He was 84 with arthritis, plus he was deaf and almost blind, but he insisted on still driving."
"One time he parked his car on a tram track with my sister inside it."
"He is the sole reason I think there should be an age limit on driving licenses."- molwalk
Don't Underestimate What Those Stubby Little Hands Can Do...
"Babies in that stage of crawling and almost walking."
"Those nutcases try to eat electricity."- Aromatic-Armadillo98
You Think You Know Somebody...
"My parents moved into a neighborhood with a truck driver as a neighbor."
"When they finally met him (he drove ALL the time), they found out his son had been in jail/prison on and off since he was a minor."
"Trucker dude was super rough around the edges, but had acquired quite a bit of wealth over his career of hard work."
"My parents started having him over for dinners and became pretty good friends."
"He didn't like to talk about his son and got realllllly grumpy when his name came up."
"Dad wasn't the (direct) problem."
"His son got released from prison and came back home on a 'last chance' deal with his dad."
"He was in rehab."
"He was helpful and helping my parents with projects and chores."
"They started trusting the guy."
"He seemed like things were going well in his life for once."
"I even met the f*ck up and agreed he was a nice kid with a bad life (he was older than me and I still say kid lol)."
"Whelp."
"Dad called my parent and told them he had been missing for 2 nights and that's not a good sign."
"Turns out he went on a bender..."
"He started calling my parents with burner phones asking if he could come over."
"The answer was a hard no."
"He then escalated to he was gonna 'roll up with his crew and take their sh*t while they slept'."
"That escalated things even more."
"He got caught the next day at a trap house and arrested with an illegal handgun."
"F*cker was locked in for 7 years and released on good behavior."
"Nobody knows where he is at, his dad died a few years back."
"They think they saw him multiple time sitting outside of his old house late at night."
"That's the scariest person I know."
"My parents did nothing but feed him and offer advice when he needed it."
"Just a nice old couple."
"Unpredictable people that flip on a switch scare me."- Remz_Gaming
What He Can't Tell Them Says It All...
"My BILs best friend who works for the government."
"He’s not allowed to tell us what he does and all we know he leaves for a couple of weeks at a time every few months, speaks several languages and looks like he’s cut out of wood."
"There was one time where he came over to a party I was having and I’d set up some VR games for people to try."
"There was a game where zombies attack you from all sides and it’s all about keeping your head on a swivel and headshots."
"I don’t remember the specifics, but none of us had gotten past level 2 or 3."
"He made it to something like 30 without breaking a sweat."
"It was his first time playing that game and he hasn’t games since SNES days."
"Everyone that saw him play/move that day agrees he’s probably not working in IT."
"I’ve never asked him what he does, I just heard 'he can’t talk about it' so I don’t bring it up."
"I’m not saying he’s Jason Bourne."
"All I know is that he was in the army and I think I remember someone mentioning he went to Ranger school."
"His job sends him all over the world. In the time that I’ve known him (about 5 years), he’s lived in the UK, Philippines and Africa."
"This one is from a completely personal point of view, but he definitely has a 'I’m not going to f*ck with that guy' vibe."
"He’s a super nice guy that’s never shown an ounce of aggression, but I think if you asked him during dinner how many people are in the booth 3 tables over, he’s be able to tell you without looking."- LocalArea52Man
Never Judge Based Off First Impressions
"My grandfather, wonderful, kind and caring man."
"Won a military cross for exceptional bravery for taking out 2 machine gun nests in ww2."
"He ran out of ammo and killed multiple enemies with a shovel by hand."
"Was quiet, not boastful but towards the end of his life talked about how easy it became to kill in the war and he remembered the sound of an enemies head coming off when he hit him with a shovel."
"Made me think how quiet and unassuming he was but when necessary he was able to do that."- wallabyfan76
Some people simply live for danger, and go out of their way to put themselves in dangerous situations.
But no one should ever feel unsafe, simply by being around, or even knowing someone.
Thankfully, even if you think you are all alone, there are always people out there who will stand up and protect you, without a second thought.
Friends come and go.
That's a hard lesson.
When friends are constantly together and the times are fun and great, you can't ever imagine not having these people involved in each and every milestone event.
But life happens.
New chapters, new beginnings, moves, deaths.
The circle disbands.
We just have to try not to get down about it.
Redditor Cyber_Optics05 wanted to discuss all the reasons friends tend to go their separate ways, so they asked:
"What kicked off the end of a friend group?"
Just life.
That's how my groups have disbanded.
It happens.
Vanished
GIF by VPROGiphy"Two of us got in relationships and just... vanished. I get it, the honeymoon period is a hell of a drug, but it hurts to know that some people are one good date away from forgetting they have friends."
Schroedingersrabbit
Goodbyes
"They all died, within a month. To be clear, they were all older guys, 68, 74, and 89 (I was about 50). Group of friends I had in my building, we'd have coffee every day and watch a few sitcoms, and chat."
"Fred died first, which was sad, but the dude was nearly 90. Then Terry died, he had a couple of chronic conditions, and a chemo treatment messed everything up. And then a couple weeks Dave died, from complications caused by Complex Regional Pain Disorder. For him, death was a mercy."
Squigglepig52
Pasted
"The friend who was the 'glue' of the group moved to the other coast and one of the couples broke up the same weekend. I tried to invite the old gang to a birthday party and the only one who showed up was the one who moved."
Evening-Ambition-406
"That’s similar to what’s happening with my friend group. I was the glue, but now I’ve gotten too busy to be able to hang out, so it all kind of just fell apart. The few times I show up to lunch no one says anything."
Dry_Cell560
Being Fair
"In the middle of that right now. Used to play video games several nights a week, DND every other week, and meet up to hang out on a regular basis. Then he met someone, and he just started bailing on everything and has now moved in with them after 4 months. Never even made an effort to introduce us to the new person. I've just got to accept that he's happy, and I'm glad for that, but I'm also not willing to put in the effort for no return, and that's also fair."
karnim
New Chapters
Jump Yes GIF by Valparaiso UniversityGiphy"Grad school finished and we all scattered."
whywasthatagoodidea
"Grad school was the last time it was easy to make friends. Now in the adulting world and it all sucks. Especially if you don't have kids and that's the main way adults seem to pair up is having kids involved in things where you meet other parents."
growling_owl
The school days are over.
Then so is the love.
Drama
joan collins march GIFGiphy"One of us broke up my sister's marriage and started immediately dating her after she kicked her husband out. And they tried to act like nothing happened."
darthurface
Money Changes Everything
"They all got rich. I did not."
Dudian613
"I remember as a kid version I very specifically drifted away from my high school friend group because all my friends at the time were super smart and successful and I was on a straight shot to community college (loved community college no hate just as a teenager at the time it's hard to see the value over the flashier universities)."
Sad_Quote1522
Blown Apart
"One friend started dating one of the other friend's ex. Blew apart a 35+ year friendship we had between four of us since grade school. We all live within 2 miles of each other, but none of us have talked to any of the others in over 25 years."
wyoflyboy68
"I need to point out that the only person to ruin anything is the friend whose ex started dating one of the group. they were not together and you can't fault love. because they got all up in their feelings doesn't mean the other person did something wrong."
glucoseintolerant
The Great Upheaval
"COVID wrecked a lot of my social life. We had a weekly game night and weekly trivia night and a few other semi-regular events and none of them have come back."
"A lot of my friends have gotten married or started families over the pandemic so it's possible that maybe this was going to happen anyway, but it sucks to go from a pretty thriving social routine to nothing. I still have friends and we still do things together but I miss the regularity we used to have."
Badloss
The Next Generation
Playing Happy Children GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Kids. One of the couples got pregnant and within a couple of months, it basically went from 12-15 of us down to 4. Can’t complain though. The 4 of us are living much better lives now."
BigOgre2010
Kids ruin everything.
Get a dog.
They adapt to friends better.
Kidding, of course!
Have you ever experienced a friend group falling apart? Let us know in the comments.
Life hacks that make adulting easier and more fun are constantly trending on social media, but these hacks do not typically focus on safety.
The irony is that, while knowing how to organize our cabinets more efficiently is great, it will not save someone's life.
Redditor Tsukuyomi_Enhancer asked:
"What's a life-saving tip you think everyone should know?"
Memorize "Ah ah ah ah... Staying alive..."
"CPR should be done hard enough that you break ribs and done to the same tempo as 'Staying Alive.'"
- TurnMeIntoAGameCube
"It's also important to note that CPR will very very rarely bring someone back to life like in movies. The purpose of it is to keep the blood and oxygen flowing enough that when professionals arrive they will be able to revive the person with minimal brain damage."
- Chicken-Alphredo
Stop Driving Tired
"Driving tired is just as dangerous as driving drunk. I got up at 4 AM to make a 7 AM flight from Toronto to LA, but I got bumped, and routed via Vancouver instead. Instead of getting into LA at 11 AM local time, I ended up getting in at 4 PM, and hit a massive traffic jam heading south."
"This was before cell phones so I had no traffic info that I understood, and I just stayed on the highway. By the time I turned off the highway, I'd been up for 20 hours. I could feel my head falling as I micro napped and jerked awake, but I had only a few miles to go, so I kept going."
"Bad move. Another micronap, crossed the median, and hit another car. Just a broken foot for me, and a few bruises for her, but it could have been much much worse."
"If you're that tired, pull off and sleep."
- FratBoyGene
This Should Be Basic Knowledge
"Use condoms."
"Take care of your oral hygiene."
"Ask for help when you need it. If you don't get it, ask someone else."
- accordionwidow
Avoid the Bystander Effect
"If you ever need someone to call 911, make sure you specifically point someone out of the crowd of people. 'You in the red shirt, call 911.' If you don't, nobody will, because they assume someone else will."
- eplurabis
Know the Bear Rhyme
"If you come into contact with bears, there is a rhyme. 'If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lie down. If it's white, say good night.'"
"In the case of black bears, they're generally smaller. If one is attacking you, then you have a chance of survival by fighting back. You'll probably be in awful shape, but you'll live."
"In the case of a brown bear, it's best to show it that you are not a threat to it or its cubs. Lie down, and protect your neck and head. Make sure it's gone before getting back up."
"In the case of polar bears, things are very different. If you notice a polar bear hunting you, then it's already too late. Make peace with your gods because you are going to die."
- Chicken_Alphredo
These Are Not Just for Training Purposes
"If someone is drowning do not dive in to save them, throw something that floats."
"If you suspect someone is being shocked by electricity, use wood or rubber or anything non-conductive to help break their contact with the energy."
"If someone is breathing and knocked out or fainted, or blacked out from drugs, turn them on their side to avoid the risk they might drown in their own vomit."
"If some people are working overhead, with fall arrest systems, have a game plan to get them down if they fall. FAS has a time limit before the constriction on their legs risks permanent damage or death."
"If someone is buried alive from a tench collapse, you need to unbury them all the way, because of the pressure on their body. Especially their legs."
"Confined Spaces contain invisible, senseless death. It can be any heavy gas in there, stay out."
"Small falls kill."
"And one thing I tell the kids I train, 'You gotta be smart if you want to be dumb.'"
- 10_Virtues
Know These Heart Attack Symptoms
"Heart attack pain for women is often different than men. The classic symptoms of chest pains radiating down your left arm isn’t what most women feel."
"It’s often a chest tightness, horrible gastric reflux feeling, and an impending sense of doom. It’s also described as the worst pain you’ve ever felt and women don’t go to the dr for it because 'childbirth was worse,' etc."
"So women, don’t ignore any sort of tightness, pressure, or twinges in your chest."
- jahoefs
No Signal? Try Anyway.
"In the US, by law, every cell tower has to receive and connect 911 calls. It’s entirely possible that your cellphone says 'no signal,' because you’re not in range of your specific network and you have roaming turned off, but if needed you could call 911 without any issue at all."
- BAbe_Linc0ln
Prepare Your Vehicle
"If you live in an area of extreme temps, keep stuff in your car in case you break down and can't get help immediately."
"For any temp, keep water and high-density food such as protein bars."
"For cold, keep a sleeping bag or blanket."
"For heat, keep more water and something to make shade."
- awhq
Trust Your Gut
"An obvious and simple one, but it's saved me on numerous occasions."
"Trust your instincts and your gut when it says, 'Don't do it,' or 'Something doesn't feel right.'"
"We sometimes forget to trust ourselves."
- safeathome3
Immediately Seek Out the E.R. for These
"If your vomit ever looks like coffee grounds, you are bleeding internally and need to go to the ER immediately."
- freestyle43
"Sorry to be gross, but if your poop is black, thin, and sticky, go immediately to get help."
- Anneisab***h
Be Aware of Other Forms of Fire
"If you smell fish in your house, it could be the start of an electrical fire."
- 9umopapisdn
The Coughing Shouldn't Stop
"Choking is silent. All a choking person can do to signal distress is a sign for it."
- Corgi_with_stilts
Please Learn How to Swim
"Knowing how to swim."
- Consistent-Chicken-5
"I find it disgusting that there are adults who still try to defend, not being able to swim. They say things like 'maybe they grew up in the desert,' or 'maybe they’re scared.' But they always expect someone else to risk their life to save them."
"Quite often, they panic so badly and attempt to drown their rescuer so much that they have to be punched in the face until they’re unconscious to be dragged back to the shore."
"This is all because they needed to try riding a JetSki while on vacation and life vests are uncomfortable, so they took it off. It’s all just selfish entitlement."
"Source: spent my teen years and early twenties as a lake lifeguard."
- forgetyourhorse
Basic Human Decency
"Maybe not directly saving your life or a life, but being kind of at least giving respect to everyone you wind up meeting. Of course, not everyone is going to get along and some people are going to cause you problems, but at least being a decent human being is going to get you much further in life."
"It's because the world, while big, is smaller than you might think. The person you bumped into on the street could be the barista you wind up getting served by when you go to Starbucks, that nurse you saw during your doctor visit could have a child in the same daycare as yours, and your tax guy could wind up talking you up in a bar."
"As ridiculous as that sounds, meeting people you've only briefly met before happens all the godd**n time."
"Being a good person, or even being a decent person, nets you great connections when you choose to use them. That barista could possibly give you a discount or even recommend a cheaper drink if you were polite about the bump in the street; that nurse could give you great tips for your child's health when you meet again at that daycare, and you could have a great friend that can teach you all of the taxes when you see each other at that bar."
"But the most important note, you have to be willing to do the same for them. If you're able to help those, they'll help you, and that CAN save your life, or at the very least really enrich it."
- Crestego
These honestly are all fairly basic concepts that everyone should know but often do not.
And that very last one is just the sign of being a good human, but when you're willing to help someone, they're much more inclined to help you in return by calling 9-1-1 or giving you a ride home after a party, which really could save you at some point.