We lose each other over the most materialistic things when in reality its each other we should be taking care of. And here we are-two sisters losing each other over family heirlooms.
u/outerbanks2114 told the sad tale:
My mom (60) gave three family heirlooms (rings) to my sister (29) and nothing to me (32). Feeling left out of some family memories and not sure if it's worth bringing up
I have one sibling -- a younger sister (29). For years, my sister struggled with school and in her personal life, and in a (what I believe) was a misguided attempt to help, my parents babied her big time. They moved her into an apartment while she was in school and paid her rent/expenses. Meanwhile, I couldn't move out until I was 22 and could afford rent/all my expenses on my own or with roommates. Today I have a good job, and although I'm not well off by any stretch, I'm doing pretty good for myself.
My sister finished school last year and now also has a good job. One that if she really applies herself, she could make more than I do. However, I recently learned something and I'm not sure how to feel about it.
For years, my mom always said that Sarah would get my great-grandmother's engagement ring. This thing is a serious rock. It's beautiful, with several huge diamonds. Fine by me -- It's not quite my style and my mom said that she believed the "types of guys" my sister dated would never be able to give her anything like it. I always thought that the latter was a weird reason (and a big assumption) but the former reason making sense -- It's maybe not something I'd appreciate as much as she would).
Fine, totally fine. However, now, I was at my sister's last week and she ended up showing me two more rings -- one from the same grandmother, and another from our other grandmother -- that my mother also gave to her. Now, one of those rings I always loved -- it's more of a vintage-looking band and I always assumed it was probably costume jewelry, but my sister told me she had it appraised just to see, and it's actually very much a real gold band with real diamonds. The other ring is a gold band my other grandmother used to always wear. That one is a little strange to me that my mother would have given it away, as it was her mother's and the only thing she had of her mother's (one of my aunts wiped out my grandmother's place when she died).
I really don't know how to feel here. The not-as-important factor here is the fact that my sister now has or will every valuable family heirloom from both our grandmothers, and the main factor is that my mother seems to have left me out of all of these discussions/isn't setting any heirlooms aside for me. I don't know how to bring it up to her either, because she's super sensitive/nonconfrontational and will either try immediately to say she didn't mean Sarah could keep them forever/she didn't mean to/Sarah just asked for them so she didn't know what to do/I'm so independent and Sarah is not so she'll never be able to buy something like that for herself. IDK…I feel kind of hurt, but also like maybe I'll need to just let it go. Thoughts? Should I try to bring up? I really would hate if my mom thought I was fishing for valuables or something.
$%^&*()&$%^&*()
TLDR: Found out my mom gave my sister two valuable rings/family heirlooms and has another set aside for her for down the road. To my knowledge, there isn't anything set aside for me and I feel like I've been left out of having any piece of family memories. Should I let it go or bring it up to my very sensitive mother?
Here is some of the advice she was given.
One
This is actually something I would bring up with mom if this was something that has hurt your feelings.
It genuinely with heirlooms is not always all about the money.
It feels off to me that the split of three heirloom family rings was Sarah 3 OP 0.
Two
So....I reread your post after reading the critical first comment, and I disagree with that first comment. You sound hurt over years of feeling like your parents (esp your mother?) Love your sister more.
I know exactly how this feels. I won't go into my 'story' because this isn't about me, but I too have a little sister with whom my parents have an entirely different relationship and expectations. This hurts so much.
That being said, I understand your hurt. I think it is legitimate hurt. I would ask: can you talk to your mother (because I think letting it go will just foster further hurt and resentment) without bringing up all your other hurts regarding her relationship with your sister? I ask this because any time I have tried to approach my parents on this type of thing, they insist I am 'hanging onto the past' and they don't actually end up hearing what I am saying.
Maybe write a letter. Explain how you would have liked the one you loved. It's done now, but I think expressing your feelings on the subject will help you move on from this. I am so sorry OP. This is tough.
Three
It always sucks to feel like the "secondary" child. But there are only really two choices with this: confront your parents, or let it go. She has the rings, your mom made that choice. You can talk about it with her, which might not do much. Or you can just take a deep breath and move on.
It seems like there's a little bit of resentment towards your family's favoritism with Sarah, which is totally normal. I know friends who have similar situations. Therapy helped them a lot. Maybe look into it?
Four
Of course you're miffed about it, and it doesn't matter if it's because of memories or money or a mixture of both. Sadly your little sister is the golden child and you will probably always come second for things involving money.
I would outright say how hurt you are that she's either given your sister the rings or not put up a fight when your sister claimed them. Let her say all the things you think she will and then just tell het again that you're hurt. Don't let her derail the conversation by saying it and just keep telling her she has hurt you and that it's up to her to fix it.
Five
Without being confrontational so your mom goes down all those avoidance rabbit holes, could you just say, "I noticed Sarah has several of grandmother's beautiful rings, and I would love to have some heirlooms too because I loved Grandmother very much. What are your plans for xyz items?" (About ones you would actually want, if there are any.) I don't think that's weirdly fishing for "valuables" or anything -- they are mementos of a loved one, and if you want one, you should say so.
Six
Let me ask you something. Have you ever in the past pointed out to your mother that something she did was wrong or unfair, and had her take you seriously and not lash out? Even a small thing.
I ask this because if my mother did something like this, there would never, ever, ever be a good way or a right moment to talk to her about it. She's incapable of handling criticism. I suspect a mother who shows favoritism like yours does is going to fall on that side of the criticism spectrum. But that's not how healthy people act, and maybe your mom deserves more credit than I've given her.
So. If she's a reasonable person who will listen to what you have to say: talk to her. If she's not: don't. Accept that things are going to be unfair, and stop looking there for care or fairness.
Seven
Speak up, OP. Tell your mom you want one of the rings and be specify which one.
When your mom said, "Keep them," that could have been an unspecific request for your sister to hold onto them, not that she actually gets them.
I have two daughters and let me tell you, my younger kid is an attention hog. Any parent that tells you their kids get equal attention is LYING to themselves and everyone else. The squeaky wheel gets the immediate grease and then you make it up to the other one later.
Be the sqeuaky wheel and get what you want.
Eight
Could you ask your mom offhand when you see her next if you could see your grandmas gold band? Then your mom would have a chance to explain without feeling like it's a confrontation that she gave them all to your sister (and potentially why).
Then you could bring up how you're a little hurt because you always pictured using one for your wedding/passing down to your kids, etc. It might just gently show her that you're feeling left out of the heirlooms? Just an idea!
Nine
God these things suck, don't they? It comes across to so many people that you're greedy and it's about material objects, when actually there's a genuine deep pain that your Mother seems to indicate she cares for and loves your sister more. And it f***ing sucks.
I struggle with this too. God, do I struggle. I have 4 siblings. My parents have helped out 3/5 them for significant portions of their adult lives, and the fourth she just seems to keep handing off thousands of dollars to in the form of cars and rings. My Mom handed off a 15k ring to one brother for an engagement ring with nary a word to us. She bought him a car. She bought the other boy 2 cars. She's half-supported both my sisters for years.
In contrast, she was mad at me for YEARS for not taking on the ParentPlus loans she told me she'd pay off by herself (in exchange for me going to grad school when I didn't want to; combined with a threat she'd throw me out of the house unless I went---fascinating considering how many years of free rent the rest of my siblings got).
Whenever I bring any of this up, I'm told how competent, capable, and strong I am. No one has to worry about me. I make great money. Mom keeps trying to wheedle promises out of me that I make x amount of money I'll give her y.
It hurts. Right? It f***ing hurts. Because it isn't money. It's care, attention, thought, and the giving of something precious to them to the next generation. It could be a goddamn teddy bear she'd loved her entire life and I'd be upset.
Most likely she doesn't even realize she's doing these hurtful things. Share how you're feeling with her if you think it'll be productive. Sometimes that works for my Mom if there's no actual action on her end. Like last week when she send out an email saying she'd call some of us (she's overseas) soon, specifically Child A and Child B and Child C (don't know what the other kid did to get left out this time). And the lovely time she listed all the people she missed in an email and it was everyone BUT me. She apologized when I mentioned I'd prefer NOT to receive emails that explicitly make it clear I'm not a priority.
But when it comes to things with monetary value? Omg. You'd think I was some goddamn leach wanting to bleed her dry, greedy to my core and selfish for ever holding it against my siblings that they got something I didn't. It's exhausting. And when it comes to these things, in my experience, you gotta go to therapy and just try to NOT CARE. Whenever she does something thoughtless like this repeat to yourself the facts about her that prove she loves you.
For me, I remind myself that when I truly need her, when I need her time or her attention, she is there. Always. And despite all this money being thrown around to seemingly everyone but me, despite the emails that clearly show she isn't even prioritizing me the same way, despite SENDING me the damn emails...despite all that, she must love me.
Jeeze, just tearing up thinking about it. It's hard.
Ten
All the reasons you gave for favoritism/extra help is inexcusable imo. You are also a daughter. It really depends on your goal, do you want to salvage/ improve your relationship with your mother? Any complaint will just make you look pretty or jealous. Your mom sucks for putting you in this situation. Our personalities and values probably differ, but if I was in your shoes, I'd reciprocate fairly based on the amount of love/help/teachings they provided me during but up bringing. But like someone else started, let your sister change the diapers since she gets the priority in your mother's eyes.
We all have those friends who do extremely well for themselves. They're rich, and they know it... and everyone else knows it too.
They go on expensive vacations and buy the latest and greatest in technology. They want for nothing and always seem to have the means to go out or buy something on a whim.
However, we may also know someone who can do all of those things but doesn't. These are the people who are just as wealthy as those who flaunt their money (maybe even wealthier) but are subtle about it.
They live modest lives, rarely, if ever, talk about money, and never make it obvious they have money.
Sometimes, they even try to do the opposite -- make it seem like they are middle class.
However, no matter how hard they try, there are few subtle, but tell-tale, signs that they are rich.
Redditors are revealing what those signs are.
It all started when Redditor ues1bredevasked:
"What's a non-obvious sign someone is rich?"
Travel Light
"They don’t have luggage when taking a flight."
"So many wealthy people have multiple homes with separate wardrobes at each. To just jump on a plane with no carry on bags must be a dream lol"
– Just-My-Pinion
This Is Off The Rack, I Promise
"They wear very nice clothing without any brand identification."
– BobbyB90220
"this is kind of funny. I knew someone whose family was new rich and he would go to lengths to buy brands that he could remove the brand tags because he didn’t want people to know what brands he wore."
– Pochusaurus
Money Talks, People Don't
"Most of the time, they will stay quiet about money, but never balk when presented with a bill"
"They will be very selective in those they choose to be friends with, for various legal reasons."
– veleriphon
"I had a close friend and I never realized he was from a wealthy family until he died. He told me that his father and brother lived in another state and ran a moving company, so I pictured a two guys and a truck type of company. When I looked up his father to send condolences after my friend's death, I learned that the company operated out of multiple states and is worth millions."
– haloarh
In A Rich Kid's World
"I went to high school with the offspring of millionaires and billionaires and something that I always noticed was how close sibling groups are. It's because they exist in the same space in life, they understand what that means, and they don't have to worry about each others intentions (unless they plan to Macbeth each other)."
"But then also, if you manage to become friends with someone then you kind of get absorbed by the whole sibling group. They're all kinda like "well ok, clearly he's ok.""
– throwawaysmetoo
Basic Human Kindness
"In my experience as a waiter in a fine dining establishment, they treat you like a normal f*cking human."
"Not sure if my boss coined the term, but a "100k millionaire" will treat you like you're just "the help" and make you feel like less of a person..."
– ImNotAFatKid
Ivy League Brain?
"Went to a good university but is kind of dumb"
– BjornBeetleBorg
"I went to private prep schools all my life. I'm doing this just to see what people say. But in reality, first hand, this is so unbelievably accurate I can't even tell you. I did a paper for my economics class in college about how wealth plays into elite university admissions."
"And first hand, I've seen many friends go Ivy who wouldn't even get into state schools based on test scores"
– ues1bredev
Stuff Or No Stuff?
"Minimalist homes. I don't know why...but rich people like the simple aesthetic which honestly doesn't feel homey. They'd rather live with very few things."
– Inevitable_snow_gal
"It is because they can go buy anything they need, so no need to have anything on hand in the home."
– Helicopter0
"I don't get this, if I was rich I'd have so many fun things in my house like fancy lamps and sh*t"
– ism659
"When you have several houses and probably a house sized yacht you have to spread your stuff around"
– SigmaBallsLol
"Part of this is just a lack of clutter because they have ample hidden storage."
– AltaDK
Only On TV
"If they wear a monocle and a top hat?"
– More-Escape3704
"And when shocked they drop their monocle and say "well I never!""
– Chromattix
That's The Dream
"They're too young to be retired, yet they don't seem to go to work"
– Mental_Task9156
"That is telltale."
"Retired early. So, you are correct, don’t work. But truthfully we just work at different things now. We work on the house. We actually DO a lot of it ourselves. We work on growing the money for our children and grandchildren. We think of it as “family money” and treat it as such. We have helped our adult children when they truly need it. We don’t squander. We worked too hard for it."
– Alarming_Honey5015
Stealth Mode
"Real generational wealth keeps an extremely low profile."
"They have no digital footprint. They actually pay people to keep information about them off the internet, and out of any publications."
"They will keep a low profile, driving cars that blend in. Nice, reliable vehicles, but nothing too flashy."
– fifercurator
I Won't Talk About It
"They are quiet when the discussion is about cost of living pressures, and will deflect the questions from themselves and/or nudge the conversation into a different direction"
– hdhdhdhdzjursx
"This works both sides, depending on "who's in the circle"... Poorer/Richer than the group sign"
– Cautious_Bicycle_494
"I do this for the exact opposite reason though"
– Domhausen
Opening Nuts
"Doesn't bother with the pistachios that are hard to open."
– altheasman
"That’s where the true wealth shines."
"Pre-shelled pistachios."
– FILTER_OUT_T_D
Experience The World
"Casually having expensive hobbies. Stuff like sailing, skiing, and golfing. Especially in areas where those activities aren’t as accessible and if they’ve been doing it for a long time. You live in the Midwest but you’ve been surfing since you were 10? Probably rich."
– belowthemask42
Don't Touch The Readable Artwork!
"I used to have a running buddy who was very rich. For me, the non-obvious sign were the books on his bookcase. They weren't books to be read. They were investments. He told me once that if somebody tried to rob his place, they might go for the big TV, but they should go for the bookshelf."
– rueguard
Honestly, those would be what I'd buy if I was rich!
Do you have any telltale signs we should be on the lookout for? Let us know in the comment below.
Often, best friends can be the most important people in your life. They are the person you can call if you need someone to talk to at 2 AM; the ones that will keep your secrets, support even your most convoluted aspirations, and help you with whatever you need, even if they think it's crazy.
However, not all friendships, even those with your best friends, last forever.
Sometimes, friendships end naturally, as the two people grow apart. Other times, the friendship ends because one party did something malicious or made an irreparable mistake.
Redditors have plenty of stories of those kinds of friendship enders, and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor salad_knife asked:
"What ended your friendship with a former best friend?"
A Lender Bee
"Asked to borrow money (~$3000) and told me not to ask for what, not because they needed help and trusted me but because I “had a decent job and could spare some”. Badgered me that I needed to send this money within 24 hours and kept repetitively asking when the money was ready. I was worried it was a medical emergency so I insisted they tell me why. No response except for “hurry up with the money.” Turns out they got scammed but that ended our friendship really quickly…money ruins relationships…fast."
"Edit: wow I’m sorry to hear all of you having similar experiences. Thanks for hearing me out."
– icanmakeyoufamous
"Never lend money to a friend, unless you're willing to lose the money or the friend, possibly both."
– shayanrc
The Truth Hurts
"His wife cheated on him. I was the bad guy for trying to let him know."
– Wyrdbro
"This is actually fairly standard. If you're a true friend you have to tell your friend that he/she is being cheated on. But you have to go into it knowing that it might be you being kicked to the curb."
– DancesWithTrout
Be Kind
"Bullying, basically."
"I realized that all that "good-natured ribbing" over time was really more malicious than good natured, and that I was the outlet for his own insecurities."
– travismc51
"He wasn't a "best friend" because my actual best friend would never do this to someone. But we were in a friend group in high school where the psychopath alpha threw a rock at me and broke my front tooth."
"We've had a few run ins since and each time it has ended with physical altercations."
"I was 25 in 2016 and this guy was like, "Hey Travis, does anyone here even like you?" and I was shocked that the teen dynamic was still happening."
– travismc51
Mama Bear
"Went on a mini-vaca (was supposed to be 4 days) with my best friend in 2021 to NJ, she brought her (then) 8yr old son, I brought my (then) 4 yr old daughter. Her son was so disrespectful, swearing, nasty attitude and so mean to my daughter the entire trip. The last straw was on the morning of the 3rd day when he ripped a box of cereal out of my daughter's hand, she started crying and he slapped her across her head. I tried disciplining him and my friend blew up at me and proceeded to DEFEND her son, as she called my daughter a "whiny baby". We started arguing, I packed our bags and said we're leaving. I drove 4 hours home without saying a single word to her or her son. Got to her house, threw her bags on her front lawn and peeled out of her driveway."
– Leesh_26
"You’re a better person than me. I would have left her and her little monster to find their own way home."
– Lorie614
"Sounds like how my Mom ended things with her friend. She had a son that was 3-4 years younger than me so we became friends by default. Honestly, I just tolerated him because was a foul mouthed little instigator whose Mom let him get away with everything and never disciplined him."
"One summer day we had all just gotten back from going somewhere, I had gotten myself in trouble with Mom and was given a time out (which back in the ‘80s was “sit your a** right there and don’t move”) on the front porch while our moms went inside."
"He proceeded to get my toy cars out, and while I’m sitting there he starts throwing them at me and is calling me “a**hole” with every throw. I’d had enough with being pelted and threw one back. And he screamed his head off and started bawling. His mom came out of the house, scooped him up, yelled at me and took off in her car."
"My mom asked me what happened and I told her. She didn’t blame me for not taking it, and called up his mom to explain everything. She wouldn’t hear it, hung up on my mom and that was it."
– Storyteller678
Little Things
"Lots of little sh*t that eventually just pissed me off enough to where I told him to F off."
"For example, 7-8 years ago, he bought 15 tickets for a midnight premier of Jurassic World for our entire friends group to attend."
"The day of the show, he texted me to tell me that he forgot to buy "my" ticket, so I couldn't go. Of the 15 he bought, how did he decide it was "my" ticket that he didn't buy? Turns out, he gave my ticket to a girl he met the week prior so he could take her with instead."
"That was just one of many things where he f*cked me."
"It's all truly minor stuff like that, but when you have 100 minor things, it becomes clear that they aren't actually your friend anymore."
– alwaysmyfault
Betrayed
"It was my last year in a country I previously lived in and at the time it was during summer vacation where we normally spend it in our home country. We had to cut our vacation short because we got a phone call telling us that our house had gotten broken into and robbed. We came back and on that day and he was talking to me telling me he saw cops by our house and he hopes everything is OK. It was horrible with everything stolen, furniture destroyed, closets torn down and fully emptied. My family decided to accelerate the transfer from that country and there was that. A year later he messages me a long e-mail explaining how sorry he was and that he was responsible for it and that his friends were the perpetrators and that he knew who did it but didn’t want to expose them. When we showed the police the e-mail and they questioned him it turned out he was part of that group as well."
– JustSayGGBro
She's In, You're Out
"Renting an apartment together."
"NEVER live with friends, folks. BECOME friends with people you live with."
– spooli
"Ugggh. Perhaps you can’t win"
"I live with two former-strangers who seemed cool when I moved in. We all got along fairly well, not BFFs but well enough to call them friends. We would go on hiking trips and occasionally do stuff around town together. It was nice. One of them had planned to move out to find a place with his girlfriend, but they could not find a place they liked so instead of him moving out she is moving in and he is “forcing me” to move out so they have more space."
"I put forcing in quotes because I have every legal right to stay in my home but apparently that does not matter to him, so I just “have to leave”. I don’t, of course, but who wants to live with someone who will betray your friendship as soon as it benefits him. So… now I am looking to move in with a friend. Not a long-time best friend, but someone I already know and like. I figured it’s better than meeting someone totally new and judging if they are good people in the 20 minutes you tour the place… but really I’ve lost a lot of trust in people from this experience."
"I generally assume people who are nice, cool, rational - will continue to act that way in the future. Well..."
– generic-work-account
Dropping Out
"Choosing men over her family and close friends, disappearing to another state at the drop of a hat with no way to be contacted, oh and meth."
– Baggle-Me-Fingies
"My former best friend also chose men, especially toxic men over her friends and family’s relationships."
– DontpunchDonkeys
Ghosted
"My best friend (kinda my only friend) stopped talking to me from one day to another. Never was able to get in contact with him again. Didn't respond to calls or texts, wasn't home when I showed up, nothing."
"I still don't know if I did something wrong or what his motivation was."
"It's been just over 4 years now. Still sucks at times."
– Captain_Meekus
"I had a really good friend that I met in Grade 8 and we started Grade 9 and she gave me the cold shoulder, one word answers to questions, and wouldn’t look at me. I ended up phoning her one day after school and asking her what I had done wrong and she told me “nothing”. The friendship ended and it always bugged me that someone could just turn cold and like a stranger. It really sucks and leaves an everlasting impression. She never reached out to me again except to try and add me on Facebook way after high school had ended. I never accepted the request."
– hill-top
"Sometimes people want to move on and leave their past and it's their right. I had a 20 year friend do this to me. But thinking back....signs were all there. I mean way way back. I was the loyal one, he was the pr*ck, but I was a pr*ck too. We weren't friends I don't think. Friends don't compete; friends uplift each other."
– Tarrolis
It's always hard when a friendship ends, even if you're the one who wanted to end it.
However, every relationship teaches you something, and bad friendships can open you up for a great one!
Every town has a secret.
Secrets, lies, and darkness run rampant everywhere... if you look closely enough.
The only thing worse than the secret is the cover-up.
The way people scramble to hide facts and keep truths hidden is masterful and scary.
Redditor j_breezy_ wanted to discuss what sinister tales cities and towns have to tell, so they asked:
"What’s your small town trying to cover up?"
Secrets, secrets, secrets... all towns have them.
All people have them.
The Land
Fox Death GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphy"There's a lively discussion about whether or not to repurpose land from an abandoned cemetery by exhuming those interred there and reburying them elsewhere. A commercial developer wants to build condos on land currently occupied by the cemetery."
Back2Bach
Do It Right The First Time...
"The city attempted to seize land to lay piping down without paying for it or permission, force homeowners to maintain it, and then force the homeowners to pay for the work and a large hook-up fee. It caused a huge ruckus, and the city was forced to go through the proper procedures to buy the land, lay the pipes, and fix and pay for any damages caused by the pipe laying."
"You see most folks in that area of town had septic tanks. The city wanted to charge more people for utilities so basically went around the voters to force the pipes through, claiming the people on the back of the properties wanted to be connected to the city. This wasn’t true and they faced a few dozen lawsuits because they fraudulently condemned septic tanks to force people onto the city line."
"My family ended up helping force the city to negotiate and do things properly. The stupid part of all of this, if they had just done it right the first time, they would have saved millions in labor, experts, and lawsuits and next to nobody would have cared."
Rachel1578
'Red Flagged'
"Not trying to necessarily 'cover it up' but the fire department doesn’t have an engine and the township board has not approved any of the ones that have been submitted to get a 'new' engine (not brand new cause those are expensive but ones that are useable). The board also thinks that the department doesn’t need to have safe gear."
"They’ve also said that the trucks do not need repairs and this has been going on for awhile, which has cause the issue of the engine being 'red flagged' (meaning it had to be taken out of commission). My father in law is the fire chief and my other half is on the department."
Next-Rutabaga-5060
The Mystery
"That the water in an area is clearly causing 'mysterious brain disease' where people just like... suddenly can't walk. I put 'mysterious brain disease' in quotes because a google search will tell you it's cyanobacteria, and the area has a giant plant that is clearly dumping stuff in the water to cause these issues."
"But the entire province's government just shrugged their shoulders and said 'wow that's weird, too bad all the cases have nothing in common!' (They all are from this one area of the world reporting this) and moved on with our lives. Here's the WIKI PAGE because it's big enough news that it gets it's own wiki page I guess: Mysterious Brain Disease"
River_tamm
Wasted
half life tech GIF by Feliks Tomasz KonczakowskiGiphy"Radioactive waste. Port Hope, Ontario. Cameco AKA Eldorado Nuclear (The people who processed the uranium used for the nuclear bombs in WW2) used to bury the waste all over town or send it straight into lake Ontario. Years/billions of dollars later and the problem still isn't solved."
Ro7ard
How many towns are toxic wastelands? It's a disgrace.
Marshed
"I’ve got a few…"
"The Quakers leased a large piece of land to glass makers for centuries. The land is basically in a marsh. As the Industrial Revolution took off, the manufacturing methods caused significant pollution. The large corporations that manufactured there never really updated the methods to comply with EPA."
"The site has been seeping chemicals into the watershed for a very long time. Just up the river is one of the first chemical production sites for DuPont. They dumped directly into the river. The old guys in the area talk about trucking thousands of barrels out of the site and dumping them into lakes, gravel pits, and quarries."
Jamescovey
Eminent Domain...
"Not a small town by any stretch of the imagination, but I live in a poor midsized city bordering a larger city, which has the full spectrum. They keep building stadiums, amusement parks, etc here. The city pulls eminent domain on several square blocks, runs everyone who lives there out, and gives the land to a developer for almost nothing."
"Then they waive all property and sales tax for several decades, longer than the facility will be in use. Almost nobody here votes, the few that do are unaware of the tax waivers, so it keeps going on despite the fact that there's literally no benefit to the city or the city government."
"We have higher taxes than our neighbor, but no public transit, way worse roads, and regular problems with power and water. But the city council and mayor are rich as f**k. I'm sure that's got nothing to do with it."
PM_ME_YOUR_FERNET
True Crime
"This is a sad one to me. There was an older couple here who ran a halfway house for troubled kids who’d recently gotten out of juvie, they fostered a few as well. They were loved in the community, wonderful people."
"One of them had an older brother who was a gangbanger in the nearest big city. During a visit, he snuck his 15 year old younger bro a handgun. Younger bro ended up holding up a local gas station and killed three people."
"One of them was my friend’s cousin."
"The foster parents lost whatever credentials they needed to do what they did, the kids went back into the system, and the giant house has been abandoned since around 2009."
KimBass2
A Dead End
"The fact that it's slowly dying, and has been for the last 10+ years. No amount of downtown renovation on the mom and pop craft shops or new fast food and cheap retail stores can change the fact that all the big industrial companies left town and there has been no attempt to replace them and no job opportunities other than... the fast food, cheap retail stores and mom and pop craft shops."
"This town (the whole county, really) is a dead end. Also, the tap water has WAY too much chlorine and other garbage in it and 9 times out of 10 your laundry will end up getting bleach stains. That's been a complaint for 20 years or more."
ZormkidFrobozz
Good Lord
"About 10 years ago a lot of homeless people disappeared and when the police did the investigation they found out a guy was kidnapping and eating those people. Police found his hideout and found a half eaten body and bones from another person. People don't like to talk about it but everyone knows what happened."
Deb_Mack
Some places have just too many secrets.
Do you have any some town secrets to share? Let us know in the comments below.
What people deem appropriate to say in public these days can be shocking.
I know that we all have to vent and share, but you may want to reign in a few thoughts before speaking.
I'm not entirely sure that confessing to crimes and plotting deaths is basic chit chat.
But what do I know?
Everyone is loose with their thoughts today, others be damned.
But don't be shocked if someone calls the police just from chatter over an espresso.
Redditor Phantom_Balls wanted to hear about all the horrible things they've been told in conversation, so they asked:
"What’s the most disturbing thing someone has told you casually?"
Disturbing conversation is just part of dating.
That's why I'm single.
The Criminal
"Dude who ran the local pizza shop had a few drinks one night and mentioned that the reason they immigrated to the US was that his dad, an older dude who was always sitting in the corner of the restaurant reading, had strangled a dude to death in a bar fight and they had to GTFO of their home country to avoid prosecution/retribution."
mejok
No Chance
"16 year old kid on meth at a youth homeless shelter I was at talked about how his dad beat his mom to death. He spoke like he was talking about any other old thing. I’ve not felt so bad for someone before then. He was given no chance at life and he was just a kid."
skippymcflippy2
The Weather
"I am a hairdresser so I hear lots of crazy sh*t but the one that sticks out to me is from a woman, I had been doing her hair for years and who was in her 70s. I hadn’t seen her in a few months which I found weird since she came in weekly but then she shows up one day with long wild hair. I told her I had missed her and it was great to see her again."
"She looks me straight in the face and casually says 'Oh my son drown at the beach a few months ago when we were on vacation and then I had a mental breakdown so they sent me to a mental institute for a while.'"
"Then she just started talking about the the weather like it was the most normal thing ever to say. I also still did her hair for a few years after that until she passed away and she never said anything about that again or acted off. Just so disturbing but I guess losing a child can make you a bit crazy."
Poctah
Cadavers
"My parents divorced when I was a toddler. Afterwards, my mother had a string of boyfriends. Most of them were decent guys, but the last guy she dated before she walked out of my life entirely was clearly a psychopath. He was a Vietnam vet, an army medic. He would tell us how he and his fellow students in med school would get drunk then sneak into where they kept the cadavers after hours and do things with them, like electro shock them, put on music and dance with them, etc."
"He was cracking up laughing reminiscing about it. Keep in mind, too, that he told me this the first time I met him. I was 10. He mentioned this while we having dinner together one night."
TheBoomExpress
The Family
"I knew a woman in college who’s brother was murdered (he was having an affair with a married woman), then her parents were driving to the town where the funeral was to be held and they were killed in a car accident. The woman lost an entire family in a matter of days in two separate incidents."
wyoflyboy68
"I had dinner last night with my bf’s friend and his gf. His gf is super sweet and we bonded over a lot of similarities. She casually dropped last night that her mom died 6 years ago, her dad died 360 days after that, and her brother died shortly after. I had NO idea how to respond."
isweedglutenfree
Losing everyone can drive anyone off the rails.
The Rabbit
"A friend of mine was pet-sitting my rabbit (she had foster rabbits and two guinea pigs of her own). When I went to pick up my rabbit, I noticed one of the guinea pigs was missing. When I asked where he was, she casually proceeded to tell me that he was sick, but she didn't really feel like taking him to the vet, so she put him in her freezer and left him there to die. She said she knew he was dead when he stopped running around and making noise in there. Suffice to say, she never watched my rabbit again."
L00kAlive25
The 12th Hole
"Playing golf (it was a golf outing) with one of my younger commercial lenders (I was regional president at the time) when he admitted to fabricating financial statements to get loans approved. He did this while we were walking to the green on the 12th hole. As we continued to play golf I explained to him that he will be terminated and will likely go to jail. His network credentials and building access was cut before we finished golf. I terminated him in the parking lot. He eventually went to jail."
-Economist-
These are some harrowing things to overhear! We might need some secondhand therapy.
Have you ever overheard something truly unbelievable? Let us know in the comments below.