It's Over: Why People Instantly Fell Out Of Love With Their Crush
A Redditor asked: 'What killed your feelings for someone you were once madly in love with?'
Relationships are meant to be fun, and having a crush can feel so dreamy in a way, but there are reasons for relationships to end and crushes to dissolve.
Those reasons are absolutely valid, but some of them are also really terrible to think about.
A Redditor who has since deleted their account asked:
"What killed your feelings for someone you were once madly in love with?"
All For Convenience
"He just didn't seem to actually give a s**t about me, unless I was doing something for him or making his life easier."
The Biggest Ick
"When he left me for someone half my age. By the way, I was 29 years old."
No Needs Met
"He stopped meeting my needs. I noticed he would bend over backwards for anyone else but neglected me all the time. Any small thing I asked was just too much."
"If he did ask me if I wanted anything from the store, etc., he would come back with everything everyone else asked for and he would forget mine. He peed on the toilet seat so many times and refused to be considerate and wipe after use..."
"The final straw was when I lost my brother recently. He just left me to grieve and didn't really give me any emotional support, no hugs, no asking if I'm alright. He became irritable and moody and now I've just lost whatever was left."
Their Smallest Fan
"Their constant daily criticism of everything I do, every little thing!"
The Unfaithful Partner
"She cheated on me with a married man. I cried and said I thought we were going to get married someday."
"She said, 'I was NEVER going to marry you!'"
"Nice way to kick someone when they're down..."
Too Humbling of an Experience
"She said, 'I'm just... better than you.'"
"That was said to me the night after I finished my first degree in music. Apparently, I wasn't a 'hard science' major, so all her friends convinced her that I wasn't as good as them... or her."
"Ah well. Could have been worse."
Not In Sickness, Just Health
"He treated my like s**t while I was going through cancer treatment."
In Love With Being Chased
"In secondary school, I had a crush on a close friend, we were close as friends but nothing more. I eventually (after probably four years of showing hints, getting her gifts, and asking her out to meals and dates) told her exactly how I felt, and asked her how she felt."
"She knew already, but she wanted me to keep trying. She didn't want to be with me, she enjoyed having someone follow her around and dote on her. She then proceeded to have a relationship with every bloke in a friendship group."
"Not gonna lie, I was broken for a good while, but several relationships later, I haven't spoken to her in several years, but keep up with our old friend groups. According to them, she is desperately lonely after doing this with several other guys and now no one wants anything to do with her..."
"But yeah, being told she knew and that nothing was going to change killed all sorts of feelings in me for a long time."
The One Who Projects
"The lying, cheating, and stealing."
"Plus all the accusations against me cheating and lying. And false allegations when I didn't react to the drama. Physically and emotionally abusive but I'm the male so no one cares."
"That kind of does it. It's sad, to be honest."
So, So True
"Loss of trust does it every time. There can be no love without trust."
Desperate for Love
"Awareness of my own false overhyped perception of her and realized that I have been overlooking her flaws because I was desperate to be with someone."
Disloyal and Unsupportive: A Classic Combination
"He cheated on me and told me it's not his problem so I should solve it alone and come back to him once I let go of things. Left him the next day."
The Lack of Respect
"The put-downs, the insults disguised as jokes, constant derision, threats of cheating, laziness, greed, not caring about what they look like (wanting you to be in tip-top shape all the time, while they gain and get heavier and heavier)."
"They look down on you, treat you like a child or worse. Treated like a servant... or a slave. I could just carry on, but I could just give a few examples of my own experience. But you've read my rant long enough to get what I am saying."
Absolutely No Excuse
"Subtle racist remarks that snowballed into blatant racism. Hopefully they have changed for the better."
Not As a Second Option
"She said no and then came back a few days later saying actually yes, why not."
"Yeah no, you had one chance baby and you blew it."
It's clear why these relationships ended. While it's nice for relationships to work out, a person shouldn't stay with it just for the sake of having a relationship, and these are great examples of why.
Reddit user DawnOfLegion1 asked: 'What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?'
Though we mean nothing by it, there's no denying the fact that there are some characteristics, personality types, and behaviors that we find to be a total turn-off when it comes to dating.
The difficult part, though, is that what we find to be unattractive might be an unusual or unexpected thing to point out to someone else. To each their own, right?
Curious about what others' expectations were, Redditor DawnOfLegion1 asked:
"What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?"
"He should be as smart as or smarter than me."
"There's no bigger turnoff than a guy who is noticeably dumber and there's nothing hotter than a guy who is particularly intelligent."
"I'll second this. If he's slightly less intelligent, I can deal with it (although it IS a turnoff), but I've had friends date hot dumb guys, and I never got the appeal. At all. Even if the guy was sweet, I just kept thinking I would feel like I was messing with the village id**t. Not my thing at all."
"I require my date to be single. Not 'we have an understanding', not 'she doesn't understand me', and not 'we're separated and neither of us can afford an apartment on our own.' SINGLE. Not married."
"The last time a guy told me that his wife was okay with it, I told him that I wanted to hear those words from his wife. Never talked to him again."
Mind the Rules
"No getting up at 6:00 AM to do CrossFit."
"No drinking and driving."
"No crazy ex that seems to hang around with them a lot."
One Word: Reciprocity
"Not a requirement, but if I paid for dinner, you paying for two ice creams or coffees isn’t all that bad."
"The older I get, the more I realize how important it is that they put in as much effort as I am."
"It doesn't have to be the same thing, have your own style; but I can't be doing all the work, all the time."
"This is with money (buy me dinner sometimes, offer to get my drink), sex (I can be a little more dominant, but you have to initiate sometimes, you have to be into it, I can't do all the work), romance or intimacy (reach out and grab my hand to walk, touch my back sometimes), or communication (text me first just to check in, for once)."
Weird Requirement: Weird
"She must be weird. And I mean truly, the kind of weird that makes other men run away."
Just Equally Weird
"They have to be a little bit pervy and a little bit weird."
"When I was younger, if I was at the bar and there was a guy I thought might be fun to talk to, I would walk up and in the sexiest voice, I would tell them they have the hottest knees I have ever seen on a man."
"10 seconds flat, I would know whether they were someone I wanted to get to know. So I think I have the weird thing down."
The Importance of Quiet Time
"I wanna be able to just chill with them doing nothing. I've been with someone who always had to be doing something and it got exhausting really fast."
"Not currently recovering from something."
"All tattoos must be spelled correctly."
Staying on Equal Footing
"Not sure how weird it is, but my rule is that I pay for myself every step of the way until we decide to become a couple."
"After that, we can split the bills, or take turns treating each other, etc., if that is what we both choose."
"Too many times I let a guy buy me dinner, and it is somehow implied that I now owe him something. Nope. All done with that."
"As a man, I have a lot of respect for that. I don't mind paying for dates and such, but I always get a bit of an icky feeling when the woman expects or demands it."
"I prefer more of an equal partnership rather than old-school gender roles, and stuff as basic as, 'Hey, you paid for the last date, let me get this one,' goes such a long way, and I feel like it also shows genuine interest from the other person."
Willing to Try New Things
"No picky eaters. It’s okay if you’re not a foodie, but I like to cook, and if you won’t give my food a chance, it’s not gonna work out."
A Lover of Drama
"If your profile says, 'No drama, please,' I immediately assume you are the drama or are too immature to handle life’s normal ups and downs and consider that to be drama."
"I love it when they have a hyper fixation."
"The ADD/ADHD community loves you back."
Knowing Your Own Limits
"No horse girls."
"I've got nothing against it, but it’s always very important to them and I’m too terrified of horses to be properly supportive, lol (laughing out loud)."
What's in a Name?
"They cannot have the same name as my sister or my mom."
"Alternatively, my name is unisex and a girl with my name is a turn on."
Quite the Commitment
"I've decided that anybody I plan to spend my life with has to be willing to buy and ride a tandem bike with me."
Despite the prompt being "weird requirements," some of these make a lot of sense, and more people might be adding these to their list of requirements after reading this.
But others are slightly more unexpected and likely fall under the "to each their own" category.
We all find ourselves having an unexpected run-in with someone we know on the street every now and then.
In some cases, it's a pleasant surprise and plans are immediately made to catch up.
In other cases, you dig out the first excuse you can to keep on moving, as this particular individual was not someone you hoped would re-enter your life.
Then, of course, there are the times you run into an ex.
Whether you ended things amicably or acrimoniously, it's always going to be an awkward encounter.
Just how awkward it will be, however, depends on your reaction.
Redditor rageondad was curious to hear how people would react if they unexpectedly saw their ex on the street, leading them to ask:
"You see your first ex on the street, what do you do?"
Nothing But Happy Memories...
"1st ex: say hi, nice conversation."
"2nd ex: hide from her again, like I did that one time at the gas station."- jfg1435
"Ignore him because he’s not worth saying hi to."
"And I wouldn’t care about him at all."- Big-Elevator2491
One Way To Handle It...
"Start taking a sh*t on the side walk immediately."- ceiling_fanzzExcuse Me What GIF by BounceGiphy
No Harm, No Foul
"Say hi."- hot-breadfruit_poop
"And ask how they are doing."
"I'm a curious creature, what can I say?"- Lamacorn
Nothing But Excitement
"Give each other a huge hug."
"We're going to see each other next week for the first time in 25 years."
"It'll be good."
"We've remained friends this whole time, so we're both looking forward to it."- riceme0112358
"Say hi, give him a hug, ask him what he's doing in town."- m00nf1r3Couple Love GIF by PantayaGiphy
"Didn't you die?" -Reddit
"Wonder who dug her up."- 8urfiat
"Walk On By..."
"Just keep walking."- MythicalMicrowaveWalking By Moe Szyslak GIF by Football AustraliaGiphy
Even If It Means J-Walking
"Cross the street."- no_days_grace
Avoiding Your Ex In Five D's...
"Dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge."- catinatank·
The Passage Of Time
"I would wish her well if I recognized her."
"It’s been over 20 years since I’ve seen her."
"It’s not like we parted on bad terms or anything."- Fangsong_37Lana Parrilla GIF by Paramount+Giphy
Go For The Jugular
"You've sure gotten old."- drpepper1992
"Have a chat."
"We are still friends."- Mentalfloss1Meg Ryan Comedy GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy
Of course, the worst element of surprise is having no idea how we might react.
Try as we might to plan just what we'd do should we ever run into an ex, we can't possibly know what will actually happen should that moment arrive.
Though, hopefully it won't ever lead to defecating on the street.
When you're not particularly having a good day, the smallest compliment goes a long way.
All it takes is for someone to acknowledge your new hairstyle or say something nice about your outfit for the day that can be the biggest mood booster.
It doesn't have to be a big overture or a dramatic declaration, but it's nice to be noticed, isn't it?
Curious to hear examples of how someone made their day, Redditor Bacibaby asked:
"What is a compliment you will remember till you die?"
Some people are affable but aren't aware of how much they're appreciated for it.
A Bright Light In The World
"Someone once told me: 'It's so easy introducing you to people, you make everyone feel like you're their best friend."'
"Have held onto that for over ten years, still helps to remember when I'm not at my best."
"I feel this. Last year I ran into some people I graduated high school with. A few of them were super popular during that time. One of them said 'Dude, everyone loved you in high school. I don't think there was anyone else that was able to be such good friends with so many different people and be in so many different cliques.' "
"It felt like such a genuine statement. They didn't have to say that. I've thought about it almost every day since because, to my recollection, high school was rough on me."
"Jeez, years ago I was at a party sometime after I graduated high school. There was a kid there who I had had a few classes with throughout the years and I always spoke to him casually like I would with anyone, but we weren't close friends or anything. He had clearly been drinking a bit because he was pretty animated and talkative and this kid usually kept to himself. Quiet is an understatement."
"He approached me and said 'Toh, I have never told you this, but I have always thought highly of you. Back in middle school there were kids making fun of the janitor and you told them all off. You told them he was working hard and there is nothing funny or to be looked down upon about taking pride in your work, no matter what you do.'"
"It almost made me tear up. I had no recollection of this moment he was talking about, but I knew I must have done it because my words in that memory of his were my father's. My parents both always hammered it into me to be a person of dignity, integrity and character. Middle school was a really tough time for me. I was bullied relentlessly. Knowing that there was someone out there who admired me during that time healed a part of little me."
It may be vain but getting noticed in the looks department is not such a bad thing.
Women Loving Other Women
"I was in my early 20s and I went out on the town with some girlfriends. I wore an outfit that was way out of my comfort zone. It was a black short skirt (I always wear pants) that flared out with a matching top. It showed a bit of midriff and I was self conscious."
"Before we even got into the bar, we ran into a couple of girls we didn’t know outside. I remember the one girl did a double take and just started freaking out. She went on and on and told me how gorgeous I looked and how amazing my outfit was. She had obviously been drinking, but it didn’t matter. She changed my whole night around and I suddenly felt like the hottest girl on the planet. I still remember her voice when I’m trying to pump myself up in the morning."
"I love women who love women."
"Nothing feels better than when a pretty/well-dressed woman compliments you or your outfit 🥲 Every single time a gorgeous girl has called me 'pretty' or complimented me lives rent-free in my head."
Train Station Affirmation
"After a concert I was on my way home with the train. I also wore an outfit out of my comfort zone, but I challenged myself. At the train station I walked passed to girl(who was drunk) and one said to the other 'omg did you se how beautiful she was?!' There was only me and them. She made my day."
Noticed By An Older Generation
"A lovely elderly lady stopped mid sentence to say 'you have got the kindest eyes.' "
"Old ladies are the best."
"Their honesty is only matched by that of a small child."
"In between those, things get kinda weird."
Things get a little surprising.
In The Heat Of The Moment
"When I was like 19 I had an ex who had a history of abuse. We were arguing about something (I can't remember what about) but we were both shouting at each other. Then suddenly she broke down crying and started hugging me."
"Very confused I let the moment pass until she could speak and the compliment she paid me was 'Even when you're angry at me, I'm not scared of you.' "
Owning The Big Legs
"I'm tall, heavy, and plain, and have been lucky enough to avoid getting catcalled for most of my life. But one time when I was in my 20s, biking to work in DC, this little old man on a street corner did a double take as I went by, pounding away at the pedals. 'Mighty big leeeeeeeeggggs!' he hollered, whether in appreciation or astonishment I couldn't tell."
"Now whether I'm struggling to get the bike up a hill, or just feeling down on my body, I'll say to myself 'mighty big leeeeeeeeggggs!' and feel that little extra boost. They are mighty big legs, and I am grateful both to and for them!"
Father Knows Best
"I don't know if it counts but my dad once said 'i don't say it enough, but i'm really proud of you'."
"Which was the only time he ever said it, but it meant a lot."
The next time you internally think someone you know is looking particularly good on any given day or demonstrated something you were impressed by, you should tell them how you feel.
We often have these inner monologues that we casually dismiss because we can't be bothered, which is silly because it doesn't take much effort to verbalize them.
If it's positive, we should give voice to our thoughts.
Who knows? A compliment that you think is nothing can really brighten a person's day when they're otherwise feeling very glum, and you'd be responsible for making them feel extra special and seen.
They say money can't buy happiness, but it seems it can make a lot of other people miserable.
Whether it's the housing crisis or the high cost of living, people are pointing at the 1% to accuse them of ruining things for the 99% in a multitude of ways.
Reddit user degreeofvariation asked:
"What was loved by poor people until rich people ruined it?"
"Living in warehouses in the industrial, rundown side of town."
"historic brick warehouse gets torn down"
"Coming soon: Lofts"
"Yes! They tore down all the real lofts to build condos they call lofts."
"Living in arty neighborhoods."
"This is what I was looking for. Creative poor people have been investing in poor neighborhoods forever."
"They use their talent to make it a cool place they enjoy living in. The rich say 'Hey, I want to be cool, let's buy this'."
"And then they price the poor out of the haven they created and turn it into a stale, crowded, overpriced place."
"Dude what I find so frustrating about this is that when they move in, the corporations move in with them."
"Next thing you know, the cute cafe you liked so much is an apple store; the good thrift shop down the street got eaten up by a new whole foods; and the entire neighborhood has lost its soul."
"One of my favorite record stores just got evicted because their landlord sold the building to a bank that wants to be in the arts district."
"Which will lead it to no longer being an 'arts' district."
"Quiet out of the way country cabins sitting by lakes."
"Now they are over priced Airbnbs."
"I'd even say Airbnbs themselves. They started as a potentially cheap alternative to hotels run by people who have extra space they aren't doing anything with."
"Now people build guest houses specifically for Airbnb and treat It like a full on rental."
"Van life and tiny house living."
"I live in my sh*tty van after almost being evicted from my apartment."
"Every once in a while I'll meet a rich couple with $100,000 van conversions and they ask me 'what's your build like??'."
"I'm like, there's a mattress and not much else. Can be truly offensive at times."
"There are SO many accounts for cheap mass produced crap that you could get on a bunch of other websites as well."
"No, I come to Etsy for homemade stuff and support artistic individuals."
"I no longer use Etsy because of how terrible the platform has become (for buyers as well as sellers)."
"If you still want to use Etsy, always do a reverse image search on the product you are considering, and also look on Aliexpress, Alibaba, Amazong, and Ebay to see if you can find the same item there."
"Most of the time you can. And for less money too."
"Etsy is still coasting on the 'handmade' reputation but most of the listings that I've seen in the past 5+ years are for cheap factory-made stuff."
"Going to the farmers market."
"I went to a farmer's market where only one vendor was selling fruits and vegetables. There were three boutique honey stands."
"That's what our markets are turning into as well. It's gone from local farmers and affordable produce to artisanal creations for the elite."
"Ebay. It used to be so useful to get all kinds of cheap or unique things."
"Then more and more big commercial sellers joined the club and eventually ebay itself forgot about what and who made their platform a success in the first place."
"It was a treasure trove. I remember just searching for random things I had as a kid. Imported music. Some nights I would just sort and see what was selling for a penny within the next 10mins or so."
"My sister and I were still in high school in '98 and we would just browse for HOURS as if we were walking around a store. But that rating was so important. We took great pride in that and showed the same respect to others."
"Now I am constantly upset and disappointed by the entire process."
"I'm not "✨ thrifting✨ I'm f'kin broke."
"Sometimes I feel like it's cheaper to buy clothes at Target or Walmart brand new than it is to buy from a thrift store."
"I blame the thrift stores for the shift. They literally pay nothing for their inventory, and pay barely over minimum wage in most places."
"Several times I’ve gone to thrift stores and seen items at or above what they cost brand new from the original retailer. Damn grift stores."
"Food banks. My local food bank put out a news article basically saying that rich people need to stop using the food bank as a 'life hack' to lower their grocery bills."
"There were stories in the UK throughout the pandemic about it: those that needed it were having to walk to the Food Bank to get what they needed, but there was also people turning up in BMW's, Range Rovers. etc..."
"OMG. That's so evil. Some people really have no conscience."
"I used to volunteer at a soup kitchen at a church, and it was kinda well known as having great food because the whole kitchen staff were actually a team of chefs from a nearby well known restaurant."
"They volunteered at the soup kitchen so they used it as like experience for some of their newer chefs etc...."
"Soon word got out that the food was good and you started seeing expensive cars pop up in the parking lot every now and then till they started coming more and more till one day like....80-100 rich people came and like basically ate so much that we ran out of food and had to let almost 50 homeless people go without food to starve that day."
"These rich people were literally coming to a SOUP KITCHEN for a free meal they don't need and literally preventing homeless people who, some of them this is their only meal in like 2 days, from getting food."
"AND WE TOLD THEM."
"We told them like we have a limited amount of food, we want to prioritize the homeless and those who don't have food security."
"Next week, the rich people would ignore us and bring even more of their friends."
"Plus it's not even like we got more donations once the rich people started coming either. F'k em."
"Burning Man was on my bucket list until rich f'ks started showing up with bodyguards and started establishing private zones."
"Counterculture as a whole seems to be getting gentrified."
"In the Netherlands there are a lot of places you can go to that have a 'counterculture aesthetic', or more specifically 'squat aesthetic' but have exorbitant prices."
"Squatting used to be huge and multiple venues in the Netherlands (like Paradiso and Melkweg) have their humble beginnings as a squat. Ruigoord, a village close by Amsterdam that got squatted 50 years ago, also completely lost it's soul and is filled with yuppies."
"Counter culture is being gentrified, sanitised and sold back to people at exorbitant prices as something 'new, weird and hip'."
"Pickup trucks. They used to be much cheaper."
"They're luxury commuter vehicles for guys who think a $90,000 truck that will never see a dirt road is a smart move."
Is there an affordable item you once loved that got expensive once it got popular?
Share it in the comments.