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It's Over: Why People Instantly Fell Out Of Love With Their Crush

A Redditor asked: 'What killed your feelings for someone you were once madly in love with?'

Relationships are meant to be fun, and having a crush can feel so dreamy in a way, but there are reasons for relationships to end and crushes to dissolve.

Those reasons are absolutely valid, but some of them are also really terrible to think about.

A Redditor who has since deleted their account asked:

"What killed your feelings for someone you were once madly in love with?"

All For Convenience

"He just didn't seem to actually give a s**t about me, unless I was doing something for him or making his life easier."

- Foreveragu

The Biggest Ick

"When he left me for someone half my age. By the way, I was 29 years old."

- delusionallinkedchic

No Needs Met

"He stopped meeting my needs. I noticed he would bend over backwards for anyone else but neglected me all the time. Any small thing I asked was just too much."

"If he did ask me if I wanted anything from the store, etc., he would come back with everything everyone else asked for and he would forget mine. He peed on the toilet seat so many times and refused to be considerate and wipe after use..."

"The final straw was when I lost my brother recently. He just left me to grieve and didn't really give me any emotional support, no hugs, no asking if I'm alright. He became irritable and moody and now I've just lost whatever was left."

- velvetcharlotte

Their Smallest Fan

"Their constant daily criticism of everything I do, every little thing!"

- jay105000

The Unfaithful Partner

"She cheated on me with a married man. I cried and said I thought we were going to get married someday."

"She said, 'I was NEVER going to marry you!'"

"Nice way to kick someone when they're down..."

- Weary_Boat

Too Humbling of an Experience

"She said, 'I'm just... better than you.'"

"That was said to me the night after I finished my first degree in music. Apparently, I wasn't a 'hard science' major, so all her friends convinced her that I wasn't as good as them... or her."

"Ah well. Could have been worse."

- ThePencilRain

Not In Sickness, Just Health

"He treated my like s**t while I was going through cancer treatment."

- Multipass08

In Love With Being Chased

"In secondary school, I had a crush on a close friend, we were close as friends but nothing more. I eventually (after probably four years of showing hints, getting her gifts, and asking her out to meals and dates) told her exactly how I felt, and asked her how she felt."

"She knew already, but she wanted me to keep trying. She didn't want to be with me, she enjoyed having someone follow her around and dote on her. She then proceeded to have a relationship with every bloke in a friendship group."

"Not gonna lie, I was broken for a good while, but several relationships later, I haven't spoken to her in several years, but keep up with our old friend groups. According to them, she is desperately lonely after doing this with several other guys and now no one wants anything to do with her..."

"But yeah, being told she knew and that nothing was going to change killed all sorts of feelings in me for a long time."

- Practical_Junket8195

The One Who Projects

"The lying, cheating, and stealing."

"Plus all the accusations against me cheating and lying. And false allegations when I didn't react to the drama. Physically and emotionally abusive but I'm the male so no one cares."

"That kind of does it. It's sad, to be honest."

- Encased_in_Gold

So, So True

"Loss of trust does it every time. There can be no love without trust."

- mkwas343

Desperate for Love

"Awareness of my own false overhyped perception of her and realized that I have been overlooking her flaws because I was desperate to be with someone."

- ZenMyst

Disloyal and Unsupportive: A Classic Combination

"He cheated on me and told me it's not his problem so I should solve it alone and come back to him once I let go of things. Left him the next day."

- Buttercup0616

The Lack of Respect

"The put-downs, the insults disguised as jokes, constant derision, threats of cheating, laziness, greed, not caring about what they look like (wanting you to be in tip-top shape all the time, while they gain and get heavier and heavier)."

"They look down on you, treat you like a child or worse. Treated like a servant... or a slave. I could just carry on, but I could just give a few examples of my own experience. But you've read my rant long enough to get what I am saying."

- Background_Break2616

Absolutely No Excuse

"Subtle racist remarks that snowballed into blatant racism. Hopefully they have changed for the better."

- ThreeOneThirdMan

Not As a Second Option

"She said no and then came back a few days later saying actually yes, why not."

"Yeah no, you had one chance baby and you blew it."

- Maaaaaath

It's clear why these relationships ended. While it's nice for relationships to work out, a person shouldn't stay with it just for the sake of having a relationship, and these are great examples of why.

People Confess Their Weirdest Dating Requirements

Reddit user DawnOfLegion1 asked: 'What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?'

People on a date
Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

Though we mean nothing by it, there's no denying the fact that there are some characteristics, personality types, and behaviors that we find to be a total turn-off when it comes to dating.

The difficult part, though, is that what we find to be unattractive might be an unusual or unexpected thing to point out to someone else. To each their own, right?

Curious about what others' expectations were, Redditor DawnOfLegion1 asked:

"What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?"

Similar Intelligence

"He should be as smart as or smarter than me."

"There's no bigger turnoff than a guy who is noticeably dumber and there's nothing hotter than a guy who is particularly intelligent."

- _hootyowlscissors

"I'll second this. If he's slightly less intelligent, I can deal with it (although it IS a turnoff), but I've had friends date hot dumb guys, and I never got the appeal. At all. Even if the guy was sweet, I just kept thinking I would feel like I was messing with the village id**t. Not my thing at all."

- LeRuseRenard

Completely Available

"I require my date to be single. Not 'we have an understanding', not 'she doesn't understand me', and not 'we're separated and neither of us can afford an apartment on our own.' SINGLE. Not married."

"The last time a guy told me that his wife was okay with it, I told him that I wanted to hear those words from his wife. Never talked to him again."

- INobodyisme

Mind the Rules

"No getting up at 6:00 AM to do CrossFit."

"No drinking and driving."

"No crazy ex that seems to hang around with them a lot."

- Haelifae

One Word: Reciprocity

"Not a requirement, but if I paid for dinner, you paying for two ice creams or coffees isn’t all that bad."

- Soup_and_Rice

"Reciprocity."

"The older I get, the more I realize how important it is that they put in as much effort as I am."

"It doesn't have to be the same thing, have your own style; but I can't be doing all the work, all the time."

"This is with money (buy me dinner sometimes, offer to get my drink), sex (I can be a little more dominant, but you have to initiate sometimes, you have to be into it, I can't do all the work), romance or intimacy (reach out and grab my hand to walk, touch my back sometimes), or communication (text me first just to check in, for once)."

- TheLateThagSimmons

Weird Requirement: Weird

"She must be weird. And I mean truly, the kind of weird that makes other men run away."

- Vamluck

Just Equally Weird

"They have to be a little bit pervy and a little bit weird."

- CherryApple89

"When I was younger, if I was at the bar and there was a guy I thought might be fun to talk to, I would walk up and in the sexiest voice, I would tell them they have the hottest knees I have ever seen on a man."

"10 seconds flat, I would know whether they were someone I wanted to get to know. So I think I have the weird thing down."

- Dull-Geologist-8204

The Importance of Quiet Time

"I wanna be able to just chill with them doing nothing. I've been with someone who always had to be doing something and it got exhausting really fast."

- Shatteredfart

Seems Fair

"Not currently recovering from something."

"All tattoos must be spelled correctly."

"Employed."

"Four-tooth minimum."

- Mohawk60

Staying on Equal Footing

"Not sure how weird it is, but my rule is that I pay for myself every step of the way until we decide to become a couple."

"After that, we can split the bills, or take turns treating each other, etc., if that is what we both choose."

"Too many times I let a guy buy me dinner, and it is somehow implied that I now owe him something. Nope. All done with that."

- One-Internet-1982

"As a man, I have a lot of respect for that. I don't mind paying for dates and such, but I always get a bit of an icky feeling when the woman expects or demands it."

"I prefer more of an equal partnership rather than old-school gender roles, and stuff as basic as, 'Hey, you paid for the last date, let me get this one,' goes such a long way, and I feel like it also shows genuine interest from the other person."

- CaptainFresh27

Willing to Try New Things

"No picky eaters. It’s okay if you’re not a foodie, but I like to cook, and if you won’t give my food a chance, it’s not gonna work out."

- Pandaburn

A Lover of Drama

"If your profile says, 'No drama, please,' I immediately assume you are the drama or are too immature to handle life’s normal ups and downs and consider that to be drama."

- WillowWispWhipped

Intense Passion

"I love it when they have a hyper fixation."

- Unlikely-Base-4989

"The ADD/ADHD community loves you back."

- YakitoriChicken93

Knowing Your Own Limits

"No horse girls."

"I've got nothing against it, but it’s always very important to them and I’m too terrified of horses to be properly supportive, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Former-Finish4653

What's in a Name?

"They cannot have the same name as my sister or my mom."

"Alternatively, my name is unisex and a girl with my name is a turn on."

- Smellymyhand

Quite the Commitment

"I've decided that anybody I plan to spend my life with has to be willing to buy and ride a tandem bike with me."

- Sheepherder_7648

Despite the prompt being "weird requirements," some of these make a lot of sense, and more people might be adding these to their list of requirements after reading this.

But others are slightly more unexpected and likely fall under the "to each their own" category.

People on a busy street
Photo by Jason Wong on Unsplash

We all find ourselves having an unexpected run-in with someone we know on the street every now and then.

In some cases, it's a pleasant surprise and plans are immediately made to catch up.

In other cases, you dig out the first excuse you can to keep on moving, as this particular individual was not someone you hoped would re-enter your life.

Then, of course, there are the times you run into an ex.

Whether you ended things amicably or acrimoniously, it's always going to be an awkward encounter.

Just how awkward it will be, however, depends on your reaction.

Redditor rageondad was curious to hear how people would react if they unexpectedly saw their ex on the street, leading them to ask:

"You see your first ex on the street, what do you do?"

Nothing But Happy Memories...

"1st ex: say hi, nice conversation."

"All good."

"2nd ex: hide from her again, like I did that one time at the gas station."- jfg1435

Who?

"Ignore him because he’s not worth saying hi to."

"And I wouldn’t care about him at all."- Big-Elevator2491

One Way To Handle It...

"Start taking a sh*t on the side walk immediately."- ceiling_fanzz

Excuse Me What GIF by BounceGiphy

No Harm, No Foul

"Say hi."- hot-breadfruit_poop

"And ask how they are doing."

"I'm a curious creature, what can I say?"- Lamacorn

Nothing But Excitement

"Give each other a huge hug."

"We're going to see each other next week for the first time in 25 years."

"It'll be good."

"We've remained friends this whole time, so we're both looking forward to it."- riceme0112358

"Say hi, give him a hug, ask him what he's doing in town."- m00nf1r3

Couple Love GIF by PantayaGiphy

Ouch!

"Didn't you die?" -Reddit

"Wonder who dug her up."- 8urfiat

"Walk On By..."

"Just keep walking."- MythicalMicrowave

Walking By Moe Szyslak GIF by Football AustraliaGiphy

Even If It Means J-Walking

"Cross the street."- no_days_grace

Avoiding Your Ex In Five D's...

"Dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge."- catinatank·

The Passage Of Time

"I would wish her well if I recognized her."

"It’s been over 20 years since I’ve seen her."

"It’s not like we parted on bad terms or anything."- Fangsong_37

Lana Parrilla GIF by Paramount+Giphy

Go For The Jugular

"You've sure gotten old."- drpepper1992

About Face

"Run."- saus_blu

Remain Amicable

"Have a chat."

"We are still friends."- Mentalfloss1

Meg Ryan Comedy GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy

Of course, the worst element of surprise is having no idea how we might react.

Try as we might to plan just what we'd do should we ever run into an ex, we can't possibly know what will actually happen should that moment arrive.

Though, hopefully it won't ever lead to defecating on the street.


A happy woman
Joel Mott/Unsplash

When you're not particularly having a good day, the smallest compliment goes a long way.

All it takes is for someone to acknowledge your new hairstyle or say something nice about your outfit for the day that can be the biggest mood booster.

It doesn't have to be a big overture or a dramatic declaration, but it's nice to be noticed, isn't it?

Curious to hear examples of how someone made their day, Redditor Bacibaby asked:

"What is a compliment you will remember till you die?"

Some people are affable but aren't aware of how much they're appreciated for it.

A Bright Light In The World

"Someone once told me: 'It's so easy introducing you to people, you make everyone feel like you're their best friend."'

"Have held onto that for over ten years, still helps to remember when I'm not at my best."

– DashFromtheGash

Genuinely Popular

"I feel this. Last year I ran into some people I graduated high school with. A few of them were super popular during that time. One of them said 'Dude, everyone loved you in high school. I don't think there was anyone else that was able to be such good friends with so many different people and be in so many different cliques.' "

"It felt like such a genuine statement. They didn't have to say that. I've thought about it almost every day since because, to my recollection, high school was rough on me."

– sonofab*tchXmustXpay

Highly Respected

"Jeez, years ago I was at a party sometime after I graduated high school. There was a kid there who I had had a few classes with throughout the years and I always spoke to him casually like I would with anyone, but we weren't close friends or anything. He had clearly been drinking a bit because he was pretty animated and talkative and this kid usually kept to himself. Quiet is an understatement."

"He approached me and said 'Toh, I have never told you this, but I have always thought highly of you. Back in middle school there were kids making fun of the janitor and you told them all off. You told them he was working hard and there is nothing funny or to be looked down upon about taking pride in your work, no matter what you do.'"

"It almost made me tear up. I had no recollection of this moment he was talking about, but I knew I must have done it because my words in that memory of his were my father's. My parents both always hammered it into me to be a person of dignity, integrity and character. Middle school was a really tough time for me. I was bullied relentlessly. Knowing that there was someone out there who admired me during that time healed a part of little me."

– TopangaTohToh

It may be vain but getting noticed in the looks department is not such a bad thing.

Women Loving Other Women

"I was in my early 20s and I went out on the town with some girlfriends. I wore an outfit that was way out of my comfort zone. It was a black short skirt (I always wear pants) that flared out with a matching top. It showed a bit of midriff and I was self conscious."

"Before we even got into the bar, we ran into a couple of girls we didn’t know outside. I remember the one girl did a double take and just started freaking out. She went on and on and told me how gorgeous I looked and how amazing my outfit was. She had obviously been drinking, but it didn’t matter. She changed my whole night around and I suddenly felt like the hottest girl on the planet. I still remember her voice when I’m trying to pump myself up in the morning."

"I love women who love women."

– littlepinch7

Being Noticed

"Nothing feels better than when a pretty/well-dressed woman compliments you or your outfit 🥲 Every single time a gorgeous girl has called me 'pretty' or complimented me lives rent-free in my head."

– tigerribs

Train Station Affirmation

"After a concert I was on my way home with the train. I also wore an outfit out of my comfort zone, but I challenged myself. At the train station I walked passed to girl(who was drunk) and one said to the other 'omg did you se how beautiful she was?!' There was only me and them. She made my day."

– MinellaRibert

Noticed By An Older Generation

"A lovely elderly lady stopped mid sentence to say 'you have got the kindest eyes.' "

– F'kMe-F'kYou

"Old ladies are the best."

– OP

"Their honesty is only matched by that of a small child."

"In between those, things get kinda weird."

– F'kMe-F'kYou

Things get a little surprising.

In The Heat Of The Moment

"When I was like 19 I had an ex who had a history of abuse. We were arguing about something (I can't remember what about) but we were both shouting at each other. Then suddenly she broke down crying and started hugging me."

"Very confused I let the moment pass until she could speak and the compliment she paid me was 'Even when you're angry at me, I'm not scared of you.' "

– KingDebone

Owning The Big Legs

"I'm tall, heavy, and plain, and have been lucky enough to avoid getting catcalled for most of my life. But one time when I was in my 20s, biking to work in DC, this little old man on a street corner did a double take as I went by, pounding away at the pedals. 'Mighty big leeeeeeeeggggs!' he hollered, whether in appreciation or astonishment I couldn't tell."

"Now whether I'm struggling to get the bike up a hill, or just feeling down on my body, I'll say to myself 'mighty big leeeeeeeeggggs!' and feel that little extra boost. They are mighty big legs, and I am grateful both to and for them!"

– ReadTheIron

Father Knows Best

"I don't know if it counts but my dad once said 'i don't say it enough, but i'm really proud of you'."

"Which was the only time he ever said it, but it meant a lot."

– justregularoleme

The next time you internally think someone you know is looking particularly good on any given day or demonstrated something you were impressed by, you should tell them how you feel.

We often have these inner monologues that we casually dismiss because we can't be bothered, which is silly because it doesn't take much effort to verbalize them.

If it's positive, we should give voice to our thoughts.

Who knows? A compliment that you think is nothing can really brighten a person's day when they're otherwise feeling very glum, and you'd be responsible for making them feel extra special and seen.​

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