The Worst Thing My Doctor Told Me
For some doctors, the most difficult part of their job is bedside manner. These Redditors came together to share stories of the moments their doctors opened their mouths and put their feet right in ‘em. Sure, I wouldn’t say that medicine is a customer service job, but there was no reason for these doctors to be so cruel, insensitive, and in some cases, downright weird.
Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number
I once had a doctor say to me “You’re too young for that sort of pain, so I don't think you really have pain, do you”?
I went to another doctor and they also said: “It’s growing pains”.
I was 23, and by the time I was 28 my liver was so damaged that I almost died from an autoimmune disease.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
At 30 I was rushed to the hospital out of the blue with a heart infection, and needing a valve replacement. The professor who did my surgery was absolutely brilliant—but she told me something off the record that made my blood run cold.
A few days before surgery, she said: "You may want to get any close family to come and visit, and sort out any important paperwork as it's not guaranteed that you'll wake up again". I obviously pulled through, but her honesty was reassuring and even after ten years we still send the odd handwritten letter to each other.
We also had these stupid personal televisions at each bed which cost about £2 an hour to watch. The money would seriously rack up as I was in there for weeks but she blagged me a code so that I could watch it for free.
That’s Your Opinion
I would constantly complain to my doctor that I couldn’t breathe when I would walk and I would get shortness of breath, I was always tired and fatigue, I would get dizzy if I walked too long. She always brushed it off and told me to get more sleep or drink more water even though I was getting plenty of both.
Finally I made an appointment to talk to her face to face and she flat out just told me I was lazy and needed to exercise more. I was so embarrassed because I went with my husband and she made me feel like I was just this lazy couch potato. It took so much for me not to cry.
I switched doctors and my new doc decided to do blood work, which is something that other lady should have done in the first place. They found out I was severely anemic to the point of needing blood transfusions. I felt so much better after I got my infusions. Some people just shouldn’t be practicing medicine!
I’m 33, had a yearly check-up, and all that. I told her I was having to pee frequently and my stomach hurt, she interrupted me and said it was normal. She did a pap that day and made a joke about my cervix being closed…I bled during the pap which I don’t usually do. I started having pains a few days later and I’m thinking UTI. I called the office they had me go pee in a cup, didn’t hear back for a few days and called again to find out they destroyed the sample because I wasn’t scheduled correctly?
They called in antibiotics and I was still having pain and the symptoms of a UTI so I went up there. They didn’t allow walk-in appointments but had me pee in a cup again. This time it was positive for a UTI so more antibiotics and the pain still didn’t go away.
I made myself an appt at an OB-GYN and had an ultrasound—and they made an incredible discovery. I was 6 months pregnant by that point. I found out I was pregnant and found out the gender on the same day. I genuinely had no idea and I didn’t really have any of the normal pregnancy symptoms.
If she had listened to her patient we could have caught the pregnancy at 3 months rather than 6. I was high risk because of her negligence. And the stress of having 3 months to prepare for a baby did not do me any favors either.
Not So Cuteman in white dress shirt wearing black framed eyeglassesPhoto by Usman Yousaf on Unsplash
I had HPV and CIN3 pre-cancerous lesions on my cervix, which was the last stage before actual cancer, when I was 25.
The doctor who did my LEEP surgery says, and I quote, “Well this sex disease you have will probably make it very hard for you to have cute little babies in the future. Do you understand what I’m saying”? I could have slapped her right there.
I was 25, had already completed a master’s degree, was well-traveled, educated, and spoken. I also knew nearly as much as the doctors about cervical cancer, as every woman on my mom’s side of the family had had it. In no way did she need to speak to me like was 5 years old. Nor did she have to refer to HPV that way.
She apparently did a decent job with the procedure, as the margins were clear and I went on to have 2 cute little babies. But seriously, her bedside manner needs A LOT of work.
Falling On Deaf Ears
I messed up my knee in a crash. I saw a physiotherapist who said it appears the muscle is in a dormant state and the joint is twisted. They gave me a few exercises but never made a follow-up appointment.
A few years later, my knee was in the same condition but I decided to play rugby—stupid, I know—where I did some more damage. I could barely walk 20 feet without it swelling and the muscle going into spasm. I saw a doctor who kept saying I'm a lazy couch potato and need to lose weight. I was over 200 pounds, so a little on the large side. He arranged an appointment a little over a month later, telling me to try to lose 6 pounds or more.
Fast forward to the following month and I was 12 pounds lighter than last time. The doctor’s reaction was devastating. He just looked at me in disgust and said he refused to help me if I'm not going to lose weight, opened the door, and shouted into the hallway that my elbow won't get any better if I won't lose weight. I told him I have not mentioned my elbow, I have lost weight, and if he wants to start shouting stuff like that into the hallway, he can eat me and I want a second opinion.
I was blacklisted from that surgery. I lodged a complaint and appealed it with it being overturned. I spoke to someone else who put me on a waiting list to see a physiotherapist again. It's been nearly 10 years and I have not heard anything more about it. I've asked about it and they said I needed to speak to the doctor who put me on the waiting list, but they've retired and when I spoke to someone else, they said there's nothing they can do but recommend I stop being a bloody couch potato.
That’s A Real Eye Opener
Three years ago I went for an eye test and the optician gave me a note and told me to go directly to an eye hospital. I wasn't too worried—but I had no clue what I was in for.
I gave the note to reception at the eye hospital, the lady said, "Oh, right, come this way". I was taken right through the waiting room and put in a CT scanner within 20 minutes of arrival.
Shortly after, a doctor came and told me there's something in the middle of my brain and that an ambulance was going to take me to a neurosurgery specialist hospital.
A few hours later I was having a drain put into my skull to get rid of built-up spinal fluid pooling behind my eyes.
An MRI scan revealed a golf ball-sized cyst in the middle of my head that was causing problems.
That was a pretty bad day.
I fell over and immediately knew something was terribly wrong with my knee. Then I waited for hours in A&E with it out straight propped up on a wheelchair. A doctor comes, takes a cursory look at an x-ray, and tells me: “Stop crying over a small scrape”—but then it got worse.
She then violently tries to bend my knee, which had totally seized up. They told my mum she had to make me walk on it.
A week or so later there's clearly some kind of review of X-rays, and I'm called in to see a specialist. It turns out I'd fractured my leg and chipped my kneecap, and the chip had damaged my cartilage. I pretty much had to learn to walk again with over a year of physio and hydrotherapy. The specialist asked if I could see what was wrong with the X-ray and even a child could spot the problems. I have no idea how the doctor missed it.
Creep Doesn’t Quite Cover It
When I was 19, my primary care doctor (male) told me he could do a pap smear for me at my physical. When I told him I already had a gynecologist he said: “I can do it professionally or personally”. Needless to say, I never saw him again and reported him.
Bait & Switchwoman sitting on sofa while using MacBook ProPhoto by Mimi Thian on Unsplash
I did a video chat service to talk to a doctor for 15 minutes. I told her my symptoms and thoughts since we were low on time. I had been very sick for weeks, possibly a urinary tract infection and respiratory infection. Also gave the other ideas I had, based on my symptoms. She told me I had valley fever and told me all about it over chat and we got cut off at 15 minutes.
I got her final email which should have a prescription in it. When I read it, I was shocked. It said she actually thought I had somatic symptom disorder aka that I was making all of this up and was perfectly fine. Her prescription was for a freaking psychologist!
She told me in detail about my possible valley fever even though I said I hadn't been to the areas she said it was prevalent. I made an appointment with my normal doctor and had a few tests ran. Had a respiratory infection and a freaking KIDNEY infection! 10 or so days of meds and I was fine.
My gosh I was so angry at that quack.
After my knee surgery, my doctor told me that I would still be able to practice my martial arts when I recovered. There was just one problem. I had never done martial arts before. I realized that he probably told me that because I'm Asian.
We both had a good laugh when I told him that I didn't do any martial arts. I was actually a tennis player, and he told me that my tennis days were over. I still play tennis to this day.
Three Strikes, You’re Saved
I went through treatment for acute myeloid leukemia 6 years ago. I went through chemotherapy and total body irradiation with an allogeneic stem cell transplant. My 28-day biopsy after my stem cell transplant results came in and my doctor literally came in stoic as could be with paperwork printed out. The news he had was devastating.
He just said the transplant didn’t work and I still had residual cancer cells in the flow cytometry of my marrow. I simply just accepted it and didn’t even look at the paper. My brain was just thinking of all the different scenarios. As the minutes went by I had a second attending come in and say that there were still other options which made me reassured.
But then I had a third doctor from the Middle East come in after her and told me I was still young and there were other treatments we could try so it lessened the shock at that point. I had always been pretty optimistic even with such a poor prognosis.
Fast forward another 14 days I had another bone marrow biopsy to see how much the cancer had progressed to see how we could attack it and there were no signs of any cancer cells. Ever since that day, I have been cancer free. My donor cells went after the residual cancer cells and saved me. I now have the DNA of a French woman that is 6 years old. Modern medicine can be amazing.
In middle school, I was seeing a psychiatrist for generalized anxiety and panic disorder. I had been struggling with my weight because I was too anxious to eat, and at one point I was about 15 pounds underweight. I started taking antidepressants, and I gained weight once my anxiety started improving.
One day, my psychiatrist brought me over to a scale so he could weigh me. He told me that I needed to watch what I was eating because I was “starting to get fat”. I was FINALLY at the low end of a healthy weight after struggling for months, and it was such a hit to my self-esteem after all the progress I had made. I broke out in tears as soon as he said it. It crushed me. My mom yelled at him, and we walked out of his office and never came back
I once told the wrong family member that her mother was coding. I have a decent excuse,but it was horrible.
It was late enough at night that I was the only doc on, with just a handful of nursing and tech staff. As we go into those quieter hours, one by one the other doctors sign out their patients to the overnight staff and leave.
I got called into a room to run a code. They had already worked on this woman for twenty minutes en route in the ambulance. It wasn't looking very hopeful for a meaningful recovery. A woman in her 40s appears in the doorway and says she's the daughter.
If I'm the only doc on, I have to do the intubation, run the code, and speak with the family, sometimes it's all at the same time. Since she turned up and appeared to recognize the patient, I failed to confirm the patient’s name with the daughter, and instead launched into the delicate questions—how long had she been ill, how did this start? But I was making a terrible mistake.
It turns out, the daughter was actually the daughter of the previous patient in that room, who had been moved out to accommodate the arrival of the coding patient. When she came in, she told the front desk that she didn't need any help finding her mom's room, so she brought herself back. This was very unusual but the code was monopolizing the staff. Her mom had the same hair color, and there's all kinds of tubes obscuring the face during these times. Her actual mom was just fine, two doors down.
Well, the daughter didn't have a heart attack, so that was nice. And never will I ever again gloss over confirmation of identity, no matter how obvious it seems.
Second Opinions Save Livesgrayscale photography of kid lying on bedPhoto by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
When I was 5, I woke my parents up in the middle of the night by yelling out to them. I woke up with my entire body hurting too much to even pull the covers off myself, never mind trying to walk, they came in and I was burning up, rushed me to the ER. The doctor looked at my mother and said: “He has a fever, haven’t you heard of a cool bath and a popsicle”? I've never seen my dad turn so red.
S as to not punch the doctor, my dad left the room and called my GP at home, who is a family friend. I was friends with his son, like sleepovers and all that, close.
My doctor called the ER. I have no memory of the next parts, but I was rushed by ambulance—the weather was too bad for an air ambulance—to the nearest capital city, 350km away, to a pediatric ICU. I had meningitis.
If It Looks Like A Duck And Quacks Like A Duck
My doctor immediately said my symptoms were from an STD. Then doubled down saying I was lying about my bedroom activity.
Like, dude, I'm a grown adult. If I thought I had an STD, I would have said so. I told him I thought I had a kidney infection, he said it didn't make sense.
They did all the blood work, all negative for STDs. What was it? A freaking kidney infection.
Although he asked me before I left how I knew it was a kidney infection. I knew just what to say to make him even angrier. I told him I had been watching House MD and the symptoms matched.
The Truth Hurts
After a horrific car accident, I was in unbearable pain. My doctor puts up my X-rays, looks down at me, and in the most condescending way said: "I hope you have a good attorney". He followed that up with: "You may never be the same again". I went from being in the best shape of my life to losing more than 50 pounds after the accident. I looked like a prisoner.
After months of painful physical therapy at a place I referred to as "Land of the misfit toys," I eventually made it back.
A couple years ago, I went to the doctor for headaches and stress. I run my own business. He sent for some tests and an MRI because of the headaches, since I never have had headaches before.
He told me to take a vacation and relax that I was probably just overworking myself and stressed from my business.
So I took the whole family—wife, kids, dog—on a nice getaway to the Smoky Mountains and rented us a nice private cabin and had five whole days to relax and take in the beauty of the smokies.
We got to our cabin around 4 pm, it was amazing, indoor pool, billiards table, indoor putt-putt golf, and an arcade room all to ourselves. I know it sounds extravagant and expensive but we actually paid like $1,000 for the whole week, I thought it was a great deal for everything that was included.
I woke up the next morning excited to check out pigeon forge and the kids wanted to go-kart and all that. Well, 8:30 am, I check my email against my wife’s advice. What I saw made my blood run cold. There’s an email from my doctor, with the results of my MRI.
It read like this: “Mr. Soandso, The results of your MRI have been reviewed by our medical team and we have found a large brain tumor on all of the scans. Please contact us IMMEDIATELY to schedule more testing, and to speak with a neurosurgeon”.
Try relaxing on vacation after reading that.
No Ibuprofen Is Going To Fix That
"Just take an ibuprofen". This was 3.5 months into what ended up as a 5-month stint with appendicitis. By the time they agreed to do surgery, my colon had fused to my abdominal wall from the scar tissue. It was such an intense layer of scar tissue that the surgeon bent the surgical tools trying to separate them during my first operation. Luckily the second operation was much more successful at actually removing my appendix and the lasting effects have been relatively minimal.
Lost And Foundmedication pillsPhoto by Hal Gatewood on Unsplash
The worst thing that a doctor said to me was that I had Bipolar Disorder. I was medicated for it, it didn't work, so he kept increasing the dose. Eventually, I was taking 800mg of Seroquel a day. I was so doped up I couldn't read. Dropped out of college. I couldn't sleep without it anymore, and when I tried I stood up for almost a week. Had to move back with my father, because I wasn't able to care for myself anymore. Ended up under observation. Doctor considered shock therapy.
After almost 10 years, 10 years lost, I had switched doctors, found a good therapist, and started the process to remove the meds.
It turns out I'm not bipolar, I'm autistic. I don't have mania, I have sensorial overload and hyperfocus. I act "weird" when put in chaotic situations because they overwhelm me. After 2 years of therapy, neurologist and psychiatrist appointments, and hundreds of pages of diaries and reports written, I finally got a proper diagnosis and I'm free from that.
But I'll never forgive my first doctor. I'm not getting those 10 years back. My mom passed on during that time, and I'm not getting her back either. I'm in college again, but the opportunities I lost are gone forever.
And the doctor? He's still out there.
Years back, I had surgery on my pinky finger to reattach a tendon I tore off the bone.
Surgeon gets in there finds no tendon to reattach and with permission from my wife takes a portion of the tendon from my wrist to replace the missing one and completes the op.
Being the klutz I am, I fall down some concrete steps and feel some pain in my arm, go to open the door to my house, and feel a POP in my forearm. Immediately know what it is and call the doctor’s office to see if there’s anything to be done.
I get the surgeon's assistant/trainee and tell them what happened and ask what to do as I have a lump in my forearm and pain. Her reaction was infuriating. She says they didn't operate on my wrist/forearm and basically, my pain medication is making me confused and no matter what I say keeps dismissing me.
So I call back and make a regular appointment for the same day and turn up. Guess who comes into the room with the hand surgeon but the assistant/trainee I fought with earlier.
She hears me retell my story and the whole time is looking at me like I'm wasting time and am what’s wrong with the world.
After I finish telling my side of things, I just say back and waited for karma to hit her. The surgeon says: "Well the lump, pop, and pain are probably the stitches in the tendon in your wrist coming undone". Making full eye contact, I just say "Oh really”? Very pointedly. The assistant didn't apologize but never met my eyes for the rest of the visit.
Unfortunately, I was the ultimate loser as there was nothing to be done to fix the "spare" tendon in my wrist, so I had to just let it shrivel up and be absorbed. It was really creepy having a lump slowly shrink up to my elbow and disappear.
Holier Than Thou
I asked for a professional opinion from my primary care doc about something regarding the neurological disorder I'd recently been diagnosed with, and I was told some garbage about prayer and God's plan. Not something you tell a 17-year-old who's trying to figure out if her career hopes are actually feasible. Spoiler, they weren't. We stopped going to that office.
I was 19 years old and 21 weeks pregnant. I’d just been told at my 20-week scan that my cervix was dilating so I needed to take it easy, but baby was perfectly fine and healthy.
Not even a week after the scan I was in hospital with bleeding and contractions. A “threatened miscarriage” they called it. It was April 1st and I wished I was being fooled.
The next day the OB in charge came in to discuss the situation and I asked him if there was any way to stop the contractions and keep my baby in until he was viable. What she said made my blood run cold.
“Miscarriage is just natures quality control”
I gave birth that afternoon and my son survived for an hour before passing.
I complained and received a written apology from the doctor and in my subsequent pregnancy I refused him for my care.
Dissed & Dismissed
When I was 19, I had a UTI. I knew it was a UTI. I went to urgent care to get antibiotics as I hadn’t established a new doctor where I was going to school. He asked me if I was sexually active, I said yes and explained I had one partner and we used protection. The doctor insisted I had an STD, not a UTI, told me again that I definitely had an STD and when he got the labs back he’d send a prescription for antibiotics. I never did a urine sample or anything.
I felt so mortified. Labs came back within the next day or two negative for any STDs and I never heard from them again. The UTI spread to my kidneys and I was in terrible pain but was so beyond mortified and anxious about what happened in the urgent care that I didn’t follow up with anyone else until over a month later when I ended up in the ER on the verge of sepsis. My right kidney still has degraded function almost a decade later.
Mind Your Mouthman in white crew neck t-shirtPhoto by engin akyurt on Unsplash
I had escaped a really bad relationship and found myself always on the edge of sudden anger. I had never been an angry person before. I was having uncontrollable outbursts at my children, who didn't deserve it. I tried everything to stop but couldn't, and finally went to a psychiatrist and what she said to me was infuriating. “Just be mindful”. I audibly rolled my eyes at her and never went back.
It turns out it was PTSD. You don't "mindful" that away. With actual, useful help, I managed to get past it before I destroyed my children. I still feel bad for having put them through it, and I learned a valuable lesson that psychiatrists are people too, and they don't always have the right answer. It's okay to quit that one and go to another.
Beating The Odds
I had a bad reaction to Covid, and the doctor came in and sat down. I was on a bi-pap, so I couldn't really hold a conversation. She talked about the weather and some things that didn't really matter. Finally, after about five minutes she took a deep breath and said, "This is such a messed up time, and so much is going on and I have had to tell families this for months now and you are the first I am telling that can still listen. You aren't doing well and are only getting worse. We expect you to die in the next day or so”.
Long story short, I made it through, but it seriously messed me up. I don't have a bad thing to say about her at all. Just the bad news I got. The medical team did a great job, and she was just human. She was probably getting tired of seeing people die. This was in the early stages before we even had a clue how to handle it. I couldn't imagine having to give this news to families daily.
Can’t Unhear That
I got a cyst removed from my tailbone. After removal, the area kept getting agitated/developed some inflammation and would reopen and leak from one spot. I swear to god every single time it happened it was on a Friday and I couldn’t see the doctor until Monday and by then it had healed.
After several Monday trips in with no real signs of my ailment, the dude tells me a horrifying story. A patient would sew excrement into hidden/unrelated parts of his body to force a reaction that required him to be hospitalized. I guess because he was mentally ill and liked that or wanted the attention?
I point blank asked the doc if he was insinuating I was making stuff up just to visit him or because I was mentally ill and he basically told me yes and he wasn’t counting it out as a possibility.
Unbelievable and an absolute headache to have a doctor that operated on you not believe you at your word. I’m a very stable person and this damaged my psyche intensely for several months as a result, but I’m better now. I still hate that jerk though and wish there was something I could do about it.
If At First You Don’t Succeed…
We spent 4.5 years trying to conceive and I had several miscarriages. The day after one such miscarriage, that ended my longest pregnancy to date (9 weeks), I had to go to my GP to have a thyroid panel done. The nurse came in to draw my blood, checked my chart, saw the note about the miscarriage and why I was there, and then cheerfully proceeded to tell me "Oh honey, don't worry that this baby didn’t make it. You can always just go get pregnant again”!
I complained as soon as my GP came in afterward. My GP didn't seem surprised and blew me off a bit. I complained to the practice manager though, and I never saw that nurse again.
More Than Puberty Blues
I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety and regularly had mental breakdowns. I booked a doctor's appointment to request medication or at least seek treatment because I truly felt like nothing I was doing was helping and I was spiraling. The doctor told me it was "just a phase" and that once I was done puberty, I would be fine. It was "just my hormones”. But the worst thing he ever said to me? He said it was "normal to be emotional on my period”.
Yes, puberty and periods raise hormone levels. Yes, people are more emotional and impulsive during these times. No, they shouldn't want to hurt themselves.
Anyway, several years of self-harm and an eating disorder later, it turns out it wasn't "just a phase”. I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and have been suffering from unprocessed childhood trauma and an environment full of triggers.
I wasn't being a stupid emotional teenage girl, I was genuinely hurting, and I needed help.
Trouble’s Brewingsmiling woman carrying babyPhoto by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
After my fourth child, I was having some extremely sharp pains in my stomach. The OB said to call my primary.
The primary basically told me that they weren’t going to look at anything because I was probably still bleeding and that it would be gross. Her diagnosis was “Sometimes things hurt after you have a baby”.
It turns out I walked around with a bladder infection for six weeks until my post-partum appointment. It was not all that fun.
The same doctor who told me things hurt after babies told my husband he could fix his panic attacks by relaxing and having a beer. Spoiler: you can’t fix panic attacks that way.
All Fired Up
I'm a type 1 diabetic, had some sort of throwing-up virus, was 21, and glucose kept tanking. I went to the ER because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep it up and end up seizing/in a coma. The ER doc told me he thought I was lying because I wasn't old and overweight—a common misperception of not knowing the difference between type and type 2.
So, he ordered a psych evaluation.
I had a seizure right as the psychiatrist swung back the curtain. I spent a week in the ICU. But I still got revenge for what he did to me.
I got that doctor fired from that ER, and did my best to try and get his license pulled. They did remove his ER certification or whatever it's called. So he at least can't practice emergency medicine anymore.
“That’s not supposed to happen”. That’s what a doctor said after my vasectomy, when within two hours of having the procedure, the whole area down there had grown to roughly the size of a cantaloupe…it hurt like the dickens and I could no longer go to the bathroom, as was now a swollen mass.
I had to have surgery to drain what he said was around 12-16 liquid oz of blood and fluid.
Apparently, I was the “lucky” point 1% of people who experience complications of this nature…and with the extra bonus that the emergency surgery cost me another $4,000.
He intimated I had some form of hemophilia, but I literally cut myself at work like 3 times a week and have no issue with clotting, and it still hurts down there 5 months on.
Still better than having another kid though.
The Sound Of Silence
I got tinnitus at the end of high school and it was terrible for me. I could barely sleep at night it when started and I would just try to drown the noise with TV at night. I was so miserable. My parents didn’t understand why this was happening and they didn’t know what I meant by ringing but I was literally crying because I wanted it to be quiet again.
My dad has good insurance so he took me to an ENT who was just really straight up. But that didn’t make what he told me any less devastating. He told me it’s never going away and that millions of Americans have it. I waited for an hour to meet him and he only spent like 5 minutes with me. I was tearing up during it and I didn’t know how to cope with it.
My dad was nice enough to get me another appointment to meet another ENT (I’m so lucky and privileged for that). He was amazing. He said the same things but he definitely more compassionate. He said it just happens and it wasn’t something I did. He recommended a white noise machine to drown out the sound and to avoid loud noises and stuff. It still sucked to have it but I kind of felt better. The ringing doesn’t bother me anymore.
Let’s Get Physical
The doctor told me: “I saw you fall asleep in the waiting room. Excessive exhaustion is a sign of sleep apnea, so I’m going to have to fail you on your physical. If you lose weight I’ll reconsider”.
The jerk tried to take my job away all because I had to wake up at 4 am that day and nodded off—and then called me fat.
I had to get three other doctors to give me physicals and override her failing me just to keep my job.
Wake-Up Callshallow focus photography of people inside of passenger planePhoto by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash
As I’m packing to leave on a business trip across the country, my Doctor calls me and tells me to stop whatever I am doing and go to the ER, I’m gonna die. I had blood work done the day before and had an appointment with him next week, but he had received my results and my blood glucose was over 20 and my A1C in the mid-teens.
I felt fine and went on my trip instead. I learned to regret that decision.
I was a non-compliant diabetic for years culminating in the below-knee amputation of my right foot in 2018. That’s what it took for me to start taking my condition seriously.
Can’t Stop Won’t Stop
I have a cyst on my heel so I went to see a doctor. Also, on top of a cyst, I have a random ankle pain when I'm more active (playing basketball, jumping, volleyball, football). And I said this pain is reoccurring for the last two years. The doctor said that maybe it's better to stop playing these sports, because I'm too old for this. I was only 23!
Then, I went to a real professional, paid a lot of money, and he said that I have progressive flat feet and I get inflammation in my ankle.
Take A Long Walk Off A Short Pier
I was 16, and seeing a rheumatologist for a bunch of problems, but mainly fibromyalgia. I had lost 60-ish pounds and was finally at a healthy weight. But, my pain had gotten worse along with fatigue. He asked me what exercise I was doing, and I answered walking about 3 times a day (long effective walks). His reaction was brutal.
He looked me right in the eyes and said “walking isn’t exercise”. It wasn’t even that mean of a comment, but it broke something in me, and I felt so angry and discouraged and helpless. I stopped seeing him after that as I had other issues with him in the past and this was the final straw.
Less Than Zero
Doctor: You have high cholesterol so you should eat less meat.
Me: Well, I have been a vegetarian my entire life. There must be something else I can do.
Doctor: Meat is definitely the issue here. Just cut back on that and you should be fine.
Me: What should I cut back on? The current amount of meat I eat is 0, but I should eat less than that?
If He Only Had A Brain…
I was struggling to regulate my blood pressure due to Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), and I passed out while I was in the shower. I knew I had a concussion from hitting my head during the fall, and my girlfriend decided I should go to the emergency room. I had been fainting on and off every few hours for a few days and with the concussion, we were both worried. I passed out on the car ride and nearly collapsed inside the ER.
After checking in, a phlebotomist came to draw my blood and she was muttering under her breath. What she said was so vile, it’s unforgettable. It was all about how I was a waste of time, saying it was too busy to be taking care of someone healthy, saying I was just looking for painkillers, assuming I was faking everything, and proceeded to tell my girlfriend that she shouldn't have brought me in.
Then, after she left, someone else came in and looked between me and my girlfriend, and said, "This must be your sister, is your boyfriend on his way”? And I had to tell the lady that I am a lesbian and that my partner brought me in. She gave the typical, "Oh, I see” response and left.
I was taken back for a CT and I was told that everyone passes out, it's not a big deal, and concussions happen all of the time, so I shouldn't have even taken up their time. Low blood pressure isn't a big deal, and POTS is just something teenage girls make up for attention.
After the scan, a nurse came in to tell my girlfriend that the doctor would be in shortly, and my girlfriend had asked if there was something they could do because I was still struggling to stay conscious and I wasn't acting right. The nurse told her, "If you notice any changes in her behavior, we'll see what we can do, but there's nothing we can do right now”.
My girlfriend said that nothing about my behavior that day had been normal, and given the fact I don't remember the days prior to the ER visit, I'm going to make my best guess and say something was probably very wrong.
An hour or so later, the doctor came in and looked around the room. He said, "Oh, I thought surely your boyfriend would be here by now”. But then he made it so much worse. He said: “Well, when he gets here, let him know that the doctor says you do, in fact, have a brain. I have seen it firsthand. You must be a smart young lady”. Like...That was the most condescending thing that could've escaped his mouth at that moment. Then he said, "Looks like you have a concussion. There's nothing we can do for you tonight. It just takes time to heal. Go home and rest, and if you notice any changes in your behavior or mood, come on back”.
No. No, thank you. I will not come back, actually. I just spent $1,500 to be told I have a vital organ that he does not have. Cool. That was the most frustrating interaction with a healthcare staff I have ever had.
I Can Hear Clearly Nowgray sand with water dropletsPhoto by Dylann Hendricks | 딜란 on Unsplash
Every time I went to a doctor, they'd look in my ears and complain they couldn't see anything because of the wax build-up. My mom would tell me I need to clean them more. At one point, I was cleaning them with a Q-tip almost every day.
Finally saw a doctor who said she couldn't see anything, but decided to do something about it. I had said how often I cleaned them, and she warned me against Q-tips. We spent almost 2 hours cleaning my ears. What she found was twisted. My ears bled. She had it looked like I had had an ear infection in one ear for quite a while but it was hidden under the wax. I refuse to use Q-tips now and often have a doctor drain them for me. I had minor hearing loss in the ear that had the infection. It's amazing what having the right doctor can do for you.
Rhymes With Meadow
When I was 14 I was seeing a male dermatologist for bad acne. He told me he was going to write me a prescription for birth control to help clear it up. Then he told me: “Once your skin is all cleared up, then you will really need to be on the pill”! And winked. It made my skin crawl.
The same doctor on another visit was excising a small mole on my back. When he was numbing the area by injecting local anesthetic, I didn’t flinch at all because I had been having allergy shots for years and needles didn’t bother me. He chuckled and said: “Looks like you don’t mind a bit of pain” and slapped me on the back when he was all done.
Show & Tell
I now know I have hypermobility, but at the time I was having multiple knee dislocations for unknown reasons as an otherwise healthy 20-year-old lady with high pain tolerance.
The doctor decided that I wasn't having dislocations, despite documented evidence from other medical professionals. According to them, dislocations were too painful for me to imagine and I probably just had bursitis. This absolute reprobate lectured me for 20 minutes about how I couldn't possibly have dislocations while I sat there in sheer shock and horror. That’s when I snapped.
I got so mad I stood up and without a word twisted my right leg hard in just the right way to cause a complete dislocation of the patella. I maintained eye contact, didn't even whimper, and hit the deck like a bag of bricks. I usually have good pain tolerance but the sheer anger made me almost superhuman that day.
Worst Case Scenario
"Well, looks like you're probably going to go blind”!
While I have visions of myself walking about tapping a white cane in front of me, he blithely adds, "But don't worry about it. Corneal transplants are 99% effective, you'll be fine”.
I did have transplants later when my eyesight got bad enough to warrant it. They worked a miracle, but man, lead with the "you'll be fine" next time.
The Acid Test
When I was in middle school until 10th grade, I would get violent nausea anytime I got hungry. It felt like my stomach was on fire, and I would miss a lot of school from feeling like garbage, although I was a good student and wasn’t falling behind in any way. After a lot of fighting with my mother who accused me of exaggerating, she agrees to take me to a gastroenterologist to be checked out.
Before agreeing to do an endoscopy, the gastro accused me of exaggerating because I was a teen girl and that’s just apparently what young women do, he suggested I was just making up these symptoms for attention, and then asked me point blank if I was lying about my pain level to skip school and suggested I had a mental health issue I was trying to cover for. I had GERD and severe acid reflux, as confirmed by the endoscopy he reluctantly agreed to perform on me.
Instead of letting it go, the gastro made a point of angrily telling me that I had “the stomach of an 80-year-old man” and must have been intentionally eating in a way to mess up my stomach.
I have a family history of stomach problems and GERD. I don’t understand why it was so implausible that my brother could have acid reflux at a young age, but I must be a liar when I claim to have the same symptoms in my teens.
He Was Thinking Inkperson in red shirt with black leather strap watchPhoto by Daniel Eliashevskyi on Unsplash
I went to see my doctor about a pain I'd been having in my lower left abdomen for a couple days, and he asked me a few questions and waved his hand and said, "It's just a pulled muscle, don't worry about it. But I AM going to talk to you about that tattoo on your arm”. He proceeded to lecture me about the risks of tattoos and how unclean tattoo parlors are because they use the same needles over and over, the ink is synthetic and I have plastic in my skin, blah blah blah—all this outdated information they used to scare people in the 80s/90s.
I was 31 and he was talking down to me like I was a kid that gave myself an India ink tattoo with a stickpin. Years go by and it turns out the pain was diverticulitis.
Not Pulling Their Legs
I was 18 and had just had a baby, and my epidural was taking a long time to wear off. The nurse came in to transfer me to the recovery room and I told her I still didn't have any feeling in my legs. She said, "It should have worn off half an hour ago," and started trying to get me out of bed and into the wheelchair. I said I was going to need help so another nurse came in and they had to move my legs off the bed—which should have been the second clue—and then they hoisted me off.
I of course crumpled immediately. As they're trying to get me off the floor the first nurse yells at me, "You have to try to stand up”! I yelled back, "What part of ‘I can't feel my legs’ did you not hear"?!
When my mom heard about it she went and chewed them out. I didn't see that particular nurse again.
That’s More Than A Bad Day
In 2009 my fiancé of 36 hours passed on from a pulmonary embolism caused by birth control. A few days prior I took her to the doctor for shortness of breath. The doctor said it was an asthma-related issue and not to worry. I said that’s odd because she doesn’t have asthma.
After she passed and services were done, I made an appointment with that doctor. With a straight face, he said, “This is a medical practice and sometimes you have a good day at practice and sometimes a bad day at practice”.
Her father had to grab me before I choked the life out of the doctor. I’ve never heard something so bad come out of a doctor's mouth.
The Bearer Of Bad News
I woke up in the hospital and heard a nurse running out saying “He’s awake”. The doctor comes into the room and tells me to move my toes. I ask them where I am and what’s going on, he just gets more insistent that I move my toes. I asked again where I was and what was going on, and he almost yells at me “Move your toes”. I said I am moving my toes. What he said next was horrifying.
Immediately he tells me: “You will never walk again”. That’s how I found out I was a paraplegic at 21 years old. I had been in a single-car wreck and was thrown 70-80 feet from the car and my vertebrae was dislocated and lying next to another one. I don’t remember the car wreck but that exchange with the doctor is burned into my brain, and that was 31 years ago.
Haste Makes Waste
I heard this story repeated while I was working in a hospital. A guy was gravely injured due to being shot in the face. There was no chance of recovery and he was expected to die within a very short period of time. An intern walks inand, without realizing it, says the most horrible thing.
He asks: "Is this the guy we are going to harvest the kidneys from”? The doomed patient was reported to have reacted by briefly bolting up into a sitting position. I hope it’s not true…but I heard they did get the kidneys.
Automatic Fcouple dining outPhoto by Wiktor Karkocha on Unsplash
I have cystic fibrosis. And while the doctor who diagnosed me was cruel, honorable second place goes to someone who's not quite a doctor yet but well on the way to it.
I went on a Tinder date with a med student who had super liked me and about two sips into my cocktail, he calmly explained that he's not actually here to date me, he just has a medical ethics class he took with our university’s philosophy prof for extra credits. His exam was coming up and it would be on the ethics of pre-implantation genetic testing for cystic fibrosis. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
As a philosophy student and someone who has that, could I be a bro and explain to him why exactly some people say we should not throw embryos with this condition away? It’s horrible isn't it?! Why would I wish that on others? Really, shouldn't I be in favor of it?
Yep, he really thought he was gonna invite me on a DATE, buy me a drink, and then quiz me on why people with my chronic illness should or should not die before they're born. To pass a medical ethics class because he needs the points to improve his grade a little bit. But he didn't outright ask for that even through text—not that it'd be less rude.
He really made me get all dolled up to ask me about the pros and cons of currently being alive cause it's quicker than a textbook.
Reddit user xgc_promathia asked: 'How did your first love end? Do you still think of them?'
CW: Eating disorder.
Everyone remembers the first time they were in love.
Or, at least, the first time they thought they were in love.
Some people might very well have a true "one and only," remaining with their first love for the rest of their life.
For the majority of people, however, the first love is, indeed, their first.
The person who shows them what it is to love and be loved so they know when they've truly found the person they were meant to be with later in life.
With this in mind, some people find ending relationships with their first love easier than they might expect, as deep down, they knew it was never going to last.
Others, however, remember ending things with their first love as the first time their heart was truly broken.
Redditor xgc_promathia was curious to hear how people ended things with their first love and the lasting effects it had on them, leading them to ask:
"How did your first love end? Do you still think of them?"
The Folly Of Youth
"I was a dumb, selfish 23-year-old who wanted more than I had."
"Yes, all the time."- grow4road
"We talking love or 'true love'?"
"My first love was a girl I met at summer camp."
"Shel lived and hour away and since we were both 13 we relied on our mothers to shuttle us back and forth, swapping weekends at each others house."
"The next summer at camp we decided that since we would both be going to high school the following fall that we should enjoy that summer camp time together then break up."
"The last night they had a farewell dance and we spent all night dancing to every slow song."
"I still think of her from time to time but haven't talked to her in over 35 years."
"I spent a hour or so looking her up online and I'm pretty sure I found her but it's been so long and age changes people so I can't be 100% sure."
"I do hope the woman I found is her because she has a beautiful family and from what I saw on FB she's doing really well for herself."- StuckInNov1999
"My first true love, we were together for almost a year."
"I we lost our virginity to each other."
"We were making plans to elope after high school I broke up with her because I felt like she was hiding an eating disorder from me."
"She kept on losing weight and she started to look unhealthy, I kept on encouraging her to get help, I even offered to go with her and be there for support when she brought it up to her parents, she kept on refusing."
"I then broke up with her."
"I absolutely crushed her."
"She literally cried in school all day for a month straight."
"I felt really bad about it."
"Then she went NC with me for a few years and I stated to really resent her."
"We then reunited and buried the hatchet then remained friends."
"I haven't seen her in person for about 15 years."
"We are friends on Facebook."
"We comment on each other's posts."
"I think about her every now and then."
"Not so much the person she is now, but the fond memories."
"I have of 2 16 year olds intensely in love with each other."
"I wonder if we were really soul mates but we just met too early in life?"
"She has a nice husband and she seems happy."
"I'm happy for her."- Ill-Indication-7706
Forgive And Forget
"We were high school sweethearts, but we broke up shortly after high school because we were no longer good for one another."
"It was an ugly breakup, and we went several years without contact after I left the state."
"Five years later, my mother sent me a box of my stuff, and one of his old creative writing notebooks was mixed in with it."
"I reached out over fb to ask if he might want it back, and from there, we became friends again."
"Ten years later, we're still friends to this day."- Forward_Ad6168
Unable To Go The Distance
"Joined the military and long distance wasn’t working so I broke up with her."
"We tried to make it work but it was taking a toll on the both of us."
"Didn’t want to break up with her but I felt like it was the best decision for the both of us."
"This was over 3 years ago and yes I still think about her."
"I actually reached out to her for the first time since the break up last week lol."
"Was just curious to see how she was doing."- ReckSaber3664
Truly Love At First Sight
"I married him!"- Complex-Half8338
Ended Before It Could Truly Begin
"All the time for last 20 years."- Deep_Ad_1874
Wrong Time, Wrong Place... Not Meant To Be...
"I was 18."
"He was 20."
"He was my first real boyfriend, my first sexual experience, and my first real love."
"We argued a lot all the time basically, I still thought we were good together."
"One day during an argument after he threw a plate of food at me I told him to get out."
"That was something I said a lot and it was a trigger for him because everyone in his life either died or abandoned him or kicked him out."
"He left, like actually called a cab took everything including his New flat screen TV and left."
"Eventually though after three years I moved on and met my daughter's dad."
"I have love for him and see that he’s now in recovery and having a baby with a new gf."
"This was over 12 years ago when we dated."
"I’m happy for him but also moved on and grateful for that."- SubstantialLove8330
"The Course Of True Love Never Did Run Smooth..."
"Long story short, my first 'real' love ended when she left to a different state."
"We were best friends for a long time but after she left, friendship ended too."
"We were young and I was too immature for a relationship."
"I was the one pursuing it and she wanted to just be friends which was one of the reasons it pushed her away."
"Like I said immature of me because I didn't consider her feelings and respect her answer at the time."
"Many many years later, I reached out and apologized for everything."
"Because I was the problem."
"She was in a broken relationship at the time and I didn't want anything but to say I'm sorry and become friends again."
"A few years later, she brought it up about a possible relationship with me and I agreed (and no I wasn't thinking about a relationship at the time because in my mind, that ship sailed LONG ago)."
"That caught me off guard."
"Years later after this conversation, we are married and have children."
"Not saying everyone's relationship will turn out this way but this was my experience."- VailStampede
As Nat King Cole once famously said, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."
Sometimes, to know what it is to truly love, we have to have our hearts truly broken.
Making the chance to have a "first love," be it at age 15 or 75, a right of passage everyone deserves.
Everyone has those brands that they love and will stay loyal to until their dying day.
For me, that brand is Bryers. Whenever I go to the store for ice cream, I first check to see if Bryers has the flavor I want on sale before I settle for anything else. If it's been a while, I sometimes splurge and just buy it at full price. That's because, to me, Bryers is the gold standard when it comes to ice cream.
Redditors have those brands that have their undying loyalty are ready to share which brands those are.
It all started when Redditor Loesser asked:
"Which brand are you actually loyal to and why?"
"Scrub Daddy makes one hell of a sponge."
"I'd been aware of them forever. "Just a sponge," I thought."
"Tried them last month and my mind is blown."
"Dawn dishwashing liquid cuts through grease like crazy. Mix it equal parts with white vinegar for an excellent bath rub soap scum remover."
"I used to wash dishes in a restaurant. A LOT of dishes. They rotated through a few food service-grade dish soaps for a while, which I always assumed would be a little stronger because they're commercial-grade, and they aided in destroying my hands every night (steel scrubbers and hot water certainly played a major role, of course."
"Then we switched to Dawn. It wasn't some special food service formula, just regular Dawn. Same exact blue one you get at any grocery or convenience store. That was the first time I would soak the hardest-baked-on crap and practically be able to wipe it off after 15 minutes. I have never found a soap even close."
Q's Way Or The Highway
"Every other cotton swab is inferior, and I think I've tried them all. Either there isn't enough cotton, or the stick is too flimsy. Only Q-tips get it right."
Strong And Sturdy
"Osprey. Super comfortable hiking backpacks, and their lifetime warranty is actually legit. They will repair or replace any damage or defect for any reason on any model ever made."
"I beat the sh*t out of mine and it’s in perfect shape. All the zippers work, no rips… amazingly constructed bags."
"My company gifted me one this year and I am in awe! I love useful backpacks and i always saw them and never went for it….so glad I have one now because I take it everywhere and I’m so confused how the little guy fits so much."
"Not sure if this counts but Wikipedia - I've been donating since given the option and I appreciate that it's remained generally unchanged unlike most modern platforms/services."
"Yesterday while chatting with my wife I mentioned how I donate Wikipedia every year. She had no idea and it blew her mind a little bit, she asked me why and I tried to explain just how frequently I use that site. Any time I remember some random historical event or criminal case or famous scientist etc. etc. I'm straight to Wiki. It's an absolute treasure trove of useful and useless information alike and I f**king love it."
All Intents And Purposes
"Victorinox - cuz Swiss Army knives rock, and they make great watches too. Add top-notch customer service, and they've made me a happy customer for life."
"Edit: forgot about my awesome Swiss Army card that a friend brought back for me from Geneva. I keep it in my car, and it's pretty fantastic too."
Created To Last
"Fiskars. Everything they do is top quality. That brand is like a national treasure to Finnish people. They do plenty of products with metal and plastic and pretty much everyone around here has had a pair of Fiskars scissors for up to 20 years. Sure, their products are more expensive but they're made to work and last for an eternity."
"Everyone else always complained about their "house scissors," how horribly dull and awkward to use they were, and I never understood -- my "house scissors" were indestructible and so sharp I wasn't allowed to touch them until I was 10. A few decades later I realized why: they're Fiskars. Those scissors are older than I am, and they're still going strong."
"Ain’t no cream cheese like Philadelphia cream cheese."
"In Brazil cream cheese is just basically called "Philadelphia.""
"Brother Printers, especially the laser variant. It just keeps working and there is no cartridge nonsense like that other brand."
"I would recommend it to everyone, always. Nobody ever has issues with them."
"Their software is also far less obnoxious. Pretty solid brand for <$500 printers."
The Best Store
"Costco. It's not too expensive of a membership, and you get some great savings on gas (pretty big here in California) and buy in bulk items. Of course, I probably buy a bit more than I need to for my family, but the 3 month hassle-free return policy is very generous. It's kind of a game changer for expensive devices like laptops since we can always return them if they suddenly break within the first few weeks or were defective."
"Not to mention the $1.50 hot dogs, average but affordable clothes (esp. socks & underwear), and Costco Travel isn't half bad with some of the discounts when it comes to rental car & hotel packages. Sure there's cheaper ways to get stuff out there, but, generally speaking, Costco delivers pretty good value for the price."
Saving Me Money
"Aldi. They were there for me when I was broke and currently keep me from going broke with grocery prices these days. Some of their brands are superior in my opinion eg. salsa."
"OXO. Most of their kitchen stuff is fantastic. I don't deliberately set out to buy OXO, but it winds up being the best choice on a lot of things."
Everything Else Pales In Comparision
"Heinz Ketchup. Not Hunts, nor Red Gold, especially not Sir Kensington."
"Honda, both cars and motorcycles. That sh*t just does not break."
Honda is the definition of reliable. Those are the kinds of brands to stand behind!
Nobody is perfect.
That is lesson number one when looking for love.
No one person is going to check off every box.
So that means that every red flag or warning is not life-altering.
That is called compromise.
But as long as they aren't buying bodies and storing organs... there is a lot that people can handle.
Redditor Cerseiriously wanted to hear about what warning signs people can live with when courting romance, so they asked:
"What’s a red flag you don’t mind so much in a potential SO?"
I can handle cheap.
Cheap to waiters? No.
But frugal for the future? Yes.
I Get ItStop Motion Yes GIF by MouseGiphy
"Someone who isn't close to their own family. I'm not close with mine, either. I'd actually think it was refreshing to be with someone who understood and felt the same way."
"A certain type of dating history. Everyone has their own style of dating. For example, Person A has a history of 3-4 year LTR but has never married while Person B doesn't have any relationships beyond 6 months. Person A thinks it's a red flag that Person B 'can't commit' when the reality is they simply end a relationship they don't see going long-term."
"On the other side, Person B thinks it is Person A who can't commit based on the fact they have years-long relationships but don't progress. It's all relative to how you compare the person's history to your own style of dating."
As an older person...
"Not having a lot of prior relationships (as an older person). When I met my husband, he was 34 and had had only one serious relationship up until that point which was 15 years prior."
"Now I know a lot of people would see that as a waving red flag and think there was something 'wrong' with him, but the reality was he was in a male-heavy specialty (engineering college to an engineering job), had a job where he traveled about 90% of the time and, when I met him, had just moved back to the area where he had grown up after being away for over 10 years."
"None of that was conducive to meeting people or a relationship and, beyond that, he's not a particularly social person or someone who really revels in the company of others, which didn't help."
"We met online, we clicked, we started dating, we got married 2 years later, and are still married 18 years later."
"Not being very communicative or chatty through text. Some people simply aren’t into texting. I dated a guy who was like that. At first, I took his lack of communication and short answers as not being interested… when in reality, he simply wasn’t much of a texter. I just accepted that’s how he was. In person he was great."
Dear MamaHocus Pocus Halloween GIFGiphy
"'How a man treats his mother is a sign of how he'll treat you so be careful.'"
"Or if he dislikes his mom, doesn't want to help her, be there for her, talks bad about her. It could be because she's horrible and it's just a sign of how she treated him."
Oh the mommy issues never end,
Love her. Hate her.
It'll all get covered in therapy.
The SocialsSocial Media Facebook GIFGiphy
"I’ve been told my lack of social media is a major turn-off and a major red flag. But I find a guy that doesn’t have any social media or very little attractive. It’s all about perspective."
I blame all the Wattpad stories...
"I don't mind some mild (MILD) possessiveness. In fact, I think it's kind of hot. I blame all the Wattpad stories I consumed during my formative years."
"Same! My husband and I joke that we're both stage 5 clingers to each other 😂 not really that bad as we don't control each other but we're best friends, have all the same hobbies, and love spending all of our free time together. There's nothing better than a hard day's work and coming home to someone who is excited to see you, even if it's just a Monday."
"Someone who’s been single for a long time! I find jumping from partner to partner more concerning. Some people never figure out who they are on their own."
"You just described me, I got to a point where I am not just going to jump into a relationship with someone not compatible like I used to do before I knew who I was, I’d rather be single, but when people find out how long I’ve been single they think it’s a massive red flag."
Tell Me More
"Absorbed in their hobbies/their work. I love that. Go buck wild, even if it’s obsessive. Also because bruh I have a terrible rest/production ratio. I need someone who understands. LOL."
"I see you've met my partner. Well, he's a grad student, so he doesn't have much of a choice in his workoholism. I'm trying to get him to balance it out a little bit, but I love his passion. He could spend hours telling me about his research, about a conference, or just about a paper he read once, and I love listening to that."
Let Gofriends cling GIF by Nick At NiteGiphy
"Clinginess. I like it when she always wants to be around me and up under me."
Cling. In love. Dependent. Co-Dependent. In love.
Is there really a difference?
For some people, flying is the epitome of great travel and adventure. The thought of entering the air is exhilarating.
For others, however, flying is to be avoided unless totally necessary. There's an underwater highway connecting the continents, right? Or an impossibly strong bridge?
But as laughable as it might seem to see someone dread flying, sometimes there's a key experience that can explain all of those negative feelings they have connected to buckling up and locking their tray tables.
Curious about others' experiences, Redditor prettyKaitlynn asked:
"What's the most horrifying thing you've experienced on a flight?"
The Sudden Loss of a Loved One
"On a red-eye flight, everyone was asleep, but I can't sleep on planes. A few rows behind me, a girl started screaming, 'Mama!? MAMA!?'"
"The flight attendants walked over and then ran back. Then ran over holding a defibrillator. Then they walked the hysterical girl, who looked to be about a teenager, to the front of the plane. Then they walked back with blankets."
"When the plane landed, no one was allowed to move. A stretcher came on board and wheeled the blanket-covered body out. The sobbing girl followed behind."
"I can't imagine losing a parent on a flight, with nowhere to go and no way to contact anyone else for help, surrounded by nosy strangers in tight quarters."
"Oh my god, that poor girl. I traveled a lot with my mom when I was her age, visiting my big brother at college. I can’t even imagine the horror of this situation and how traumatic that must have been. I hope she is happy and thriving somewhere now…"
Fallen Flight 4184
"On Halloween night in 1994, I was on a United flight from Vancouver to Chicago."
"Back then, 'Channel 9' on the inflight entertainment system let you listen to air traffic control. That night as we approached Chicago, I was listening to Channel 9 when suddenly ATC told all the other planes to quiet down."
"Then they started calling over and over for another flight, American 4184, and asking the other planes if anyone else could see an ATR."
"This went on for a few minutes and then, CLICK, channel 9 was switched off. I felt a chill go down my spine."
"When I got to my hotel, I switched on CNN."
"Flight 4184 had gone down in a field in Indiana and everyone was dead."
Worthy of 'Final Destination'
"Just after takeoff from Ixtapa Mexico, we were climbing out over the ocean at about 1000 feet when I looked out my window. Headed directly at me about 500 feet away was a twin-engine Beechcraft (I think). I would guess it was three to four seconds from impact."
"Fortunately, the pilot of the aircraft saw us and pulled up sharply just in time, missing us by maybe 25 feet."
"My wife, who's deathly afraid of flying, asked me, 'What was that?' I said, 'Nothing,' and pretended nothing had happened until we were on the ground in the US, and then I told her."
"Without question, if that pilot had pulled up even a second or two later, everyone on board both planes would have been dead."
Fear of Flying
"As soon as the engines revved up for take-off, a woman started screaming like she was dying."
"The flight attendants couldn’t get up to go to her until the pilot rang the bell, about five to ten minutes. She was screaming the entire time."
"Turns out her daughter put her on the flight even though she was terrified of flying. An attendant held her hand the entire flight, walked her all the way to meet the other daughter, and told her to never put mom on an airplane ever again."
"Just so everyone knows, if you are afraid of flying, tell the stewards when getting on the plane."
"They will make sure you are checked in and will pay special attention to you to make it easier."
What Dreams Are Made Of
"Flying out of Chengdu China in the early 80s on an old Russian turboprop, It was a wicked snowstorm, and I thought there was no way we were taking off in that mess. Visibility was only a few hundred feet."
"I looked around in panic and I realized the guy sitting across the aisle from me was the spitting image of Buddy Holly. I recall thinking that if this guy pulled a guitar out of the overhead bin and started singing 'Peggy Sue,' we were all f**ked."
"Oh sweet, you're a Steven King character."
Allergic to... Flying?
"This was in 2015 (luckily not during the pandemic as I probably would have been kicked off the flight). But suddenly I felt a tickle in my throat, so I started coughing."
"But I COULD NOT STOP COUGHING. No matter what I did, I could not get that tickle out. The people around me were understanding, but I decided to go to the back of the plane just to be courteous."
"The flight attendants gave me ice and that was the only thing that would give me any sort of relief."
"We finally landed. That night, I went to bed and woke up at 5:00 AM with a swollen shut eye, huge f**king lips, hives ALL over my body, and a tightness in my chest."
"Turns out I was having a severe allergic reaction to something I ate (?) at the airport or something on the plane. My throat was literally CLOSING on the plane. That’s why the ice was helping because it was bringing down the swelling."
"But here’s the weird f**king thing. I’ve never been allergic to anything in my life before OR since that incident. So it’s a huge freaking mystery. The hives also showed up in different places on my body each morning for two weeks after."
Take Off Mysteries
"On a flight from San Francisco to Denver. The plane was loaded and it was time to take off, but we just sat at the gate. The pilot announced we would be leaving soon and that we were late taking off because they had to balance out the luggage."
"Finally around 30 minutes after we were supposed to take off, the plane backed out and went to the runway. Once again, we just sat on the tarmac, this time for another 30 minutes. The pilot got on the PA again and said we had to return to the gate because the plane was low on fuel from all the idling."
"Back at the gate, three armed law enforcement officers entered the plane and escorted a man off. After that, the pilot announced that we were finally ready to take off and that the previous wait was actually due to a security issue."
"Just (but didn’t feel like 'just' at the time) really bad turbulence; people’s purses hit the ceiling of the cabin and I think some people who weren’t belted in injured themselves too. People were screaming, praying, and crying (I was in that last category)."
"I wasn’t crazy about flying before, but that experience put me into phobia territory and I didn’t fly after that for probably about ten years, and still weigh it as a cost-to-benefit thing whenever I travel. It’s helped a bit to learn that turbulence isn’t really a thing that causes plane crashes, as far as I now understand, but it can feel very different in that moment to the illogical mind."
Oh, the Humanity
"On an airplane, but not technically a flight."
"Sitting at the end of the runway, the pilot was doing his pre-flight or something. There was a fireball in one of the engines. Passengers panicked, flight attendants popped the emergency doors, and the emergency slides deployed."
"It was mayhem; people knocking others down, crawling over the seats, lots of screaming. Several people were injured."
"Of those I saw, one man fell off the wing; I found out later he broke his arm and collarbone. Another fell off the middle of the slide. She went away holding her wrist, not sure of what happened. The guy in front of me on the slide tumbled face-first at the bottom of the slide, and got up with a bloodied face."
"Emergency slides are not fun. It's not like in the movies."
"The ironic thing was, there was no danger to the aircraft or passengers."
Not a Question You Want to Hear
"The scariest thing was being asked by the guy on the other side of the plane if there was oil spraying out of the engine on my side, too."
Happily Ever After
"We took off after a seven-hour delay. The plane climbed for a little bit and went into a pretty tight bank turn."
"The Captain came on and said there was smoke in the cabin, and we were going in for an emergency landing. As we were coming in, there were the fire trucks and emergency vehicles waiting for us."
"Long story short... it was a wiring harness for the coffee maker. They swapped it out without even having to deplane. We got free drinks for the rest of the flight."
No Small Talk Welcome
"We barely had our butts in the seat and a woman turned to us and said, 'Are you two teachers?' as an icebreaker."
"We responded with 'no,' and then she said, well, she was a teacher, and she then proceeded to talk THE ENTIRE nine-hour flight about herself."
"My husband pretended to fall asleep within the hour, and I find it painfully hard to stop conversations with friendly people, so all I could do was listen to her ramble."
"Ugh, AND we were seated right beside the toilets which smelt of old pee."
"That would be my personal h**l. Just let me read my book, lady."
"Captain here. Two hours in on an early flight, and the in-charge Flight Attendant advises us we have run out of coffee."
A Strange Turn of Events
"I had a woman next to me on a 15-hour flight, with two kids under the age of five. She sat next to me with the kids on the aisle, and the first thing she did was apologize for what was to come."
"It was terrible, stuff constantly knocked onto the floor, a drink spilled on my leg... but that was just the woman herself."
"She soon swapped seats, and the kids just did normal kid stuff. They were not so bad at all, aside from the occasional accidental bump when they squirmed, while she continued to drop stuff on the floor: food, drink, phone, basically anything on her tray table was going to be on the floor sooner or later."
"This weirdly sounds like something out of a rom-com."
"Her: 'I'm sorry for the trouble that will be caused.'"
"Him: 'I understand, kids will be kids.'"
"'No, I mean me, I'm a super klutz when flying.'"
"Strangers to Lovers. Annoyance softens to Endearment."
"Instant love story."
A Fuzzy Passenger
"Flying in a small eight-seater from the mainland to an island, a kitten got loose, climbed over the pilot's shoulder, and generally was frantic."
"That's the type of scene that disaster movies start with!"
"Something similar happened on a flight. It was kind of funny, though, because the pilot got on the P.A. to ask whoever was missing a kitten to please come to retrieve it, in a very official, somewhat annoyed, pilot-ey voice. Pure comedy."
While some of these stories were amusing in the end, most of these were absolutely chilling, and it's no wonder that these Redditors don't enjoy flying or refuse to travel by airplane ever again.
It's pretty safe to say, honestly, that most of us would choose the same thing if we experienced something like this.