The Worst Dates Ever
There are some dates that are so disastrous, they’re unforgettable. When it comes to the dating game, these Redditors struck out big time—but at least they were left with great stories to tell.
A Crash Course In Romancea woman sitting in a car with a steering wheelPhoto by Jan Baborák on Unsplash
We met online and agreed to meet at a diner we both knew. I got there first. But the night took a horrifying turn the moment she arrived. Just after pulling in, she hit the gas instead of the brake, drove into the curb, then hit a light pole which fell over and landed on a parked van.
No one got hurt but she was pretty embarrassed. Never heard back from her.
I matched with this guy on Tinder and he offered to take me out to dinner. I thought that sounded nice, so later that night he picked me up. We were driving and he asked me where I wanted to go. I told him I was fine with anything. BIG MISTAKE.
He said, "Okay then," and pulled into Subway. He then told me that he wasn't hungry, but that I should eat! So he stood outside of the Subway and watched while I went in and got myself food. At this point, I was already mentally done but I wanted to see how much worse it would get. Spoiler alert: it got so much worse.
So I'm sitting in the car with the stupid freaking sub on my lap, and he decided that it was a great idea to drive around, specifically through a dark, isolated ravine that was nearby. He drove for about 10 minutes into the ravine, parked the car next to an abandoned tennis court and said, "Okay, you can eat now”.
I was just thinking, "I really don't want to die here," so I choked down the soggy sub while he stared at me. The second I was done, he pulled the car out and drove me back home. I was so grateful to make it home in one piece that it took me several days to process how screwed up the entire date was.
But here’s the cherry on top: at 2 am that night, he came back to my house uninvited, carrying a bag full of stale donuts, and asked me if I wanted to sleep with him.
No Means No
After a first date of dinner and a movie, he asked if I’d like to “have some fun” and took off his pants. I said “No”. He apologized for overstepping himself and I told him, “Hey, I totally understand and it’s okay!”
Now here’s the confusing part...he took my word “okay” as consent for “I totally want to do it now”. So he immediately took off his pants again. It was so awkward when I explained it was still a no.
Just Can’t Catch A Breakman and woman talking in front of gray tabletop inside shopPhoto by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Back in college, I met this girl and asked her if I could take her out to dinner. She said yes. I was ecstatic. Well, then I had to figure out where to take her to give her an idea of who I am and what I'm about. So I tried to do something that was thoughtful.
I've learned that there are two types of gifts: expensive and thoughtful. If you can't do expensive, which I couldn't, then you'd better go hard on the thoughtful. This was taking place in the southern US, but she was a freshman from Pennsylvania. I started thinking about things that be new and interesting to her. The answer came to me in a flash: Bojangles!
I would take her to Bojangles. It's cheap, it used to have fairly decent food, but most of all it's southern, and we'd be able to discuss regional differences in food and culture. Of course, it's also fast food. Really crappy fast food.
The evening of the date arrived. I drove her to the place and talked all about fried chicken and the South and tea and how it must be different from the North. We got there and ordered at the register, then moved down to pick up our tray of food. We waited. And waited.
I tried to make some small talk. You know, the small talk you make when something could interrupt your conversation at any moment...Then we waited some more. Finally, my dinner (fried chicken) was on the tray. The drinks were on the tray. Her sandwich was not.
So we stood there and stood there with the silence growing more and more awkward. Minutes rolled by that felt like ages. Finally, an employee noticed us standing there and said, "Did you need something?" I said yes, that we needed her sandwich.
The employee turned around and grabbed the sandwich from the place it had been sitting THE WHOLE TIME WE'D BEEN STANDING THERE and put it on the tray. It had been there since the beginning. Not a great start.
I picked up the tray and started walking back to a table with her. But there was an issue. Bojangles used to have the best sweet tea, so I always got a large. The cups they use for the larges are the kind that are smaller at the bottom, so they'll fit in your cup holder in your car.
That's great for a car, but NOT so great for balancing them on a tray. It fell over. Fortunately, it fell over onto the tray, but not before knocking her drink off of the tray onto the floor. She had gotten the smaller drink, which came in the waxed paper cup instead of the plastic cup that the larges are in.
That's important, because it means that when her cup hit the ground at about a 30-degree angle, the cup crushed and LAUNCHED the liquid inside out like a cannon. Onto her foot. Drenching her in Pepsi or Coke or some soft drink.
Being gentlemanly, I went and got her a new drink. I got back to the table and started trying to eat. I had ordered fried chicken, which I realized would mean that I had to eat with my fingers, which was stupid on a first date.
Not wanting to look dumb(er), I decided I'd try to avoid eating with my fingers by using the plastic cutlery provided by the store. This would have been a fine idea if not for the fact that Bojangles only provides you with a spork. Not a fork, not a spoon, not a knife. A plastic spork.
I'm trying to pry the chicken off the bone with this plastic spork and it's going nowhere. I can't get the chicken off the bone. I dug in a little deeper and really pulled, which bent the spork back a little, which served as a spring to launch my chicken across the table. I actually caught it before it could hit the floor.
I remember thinking to myself, "Well, just enjoy this chicken because this date is going NOWHERE”. I decided to just forget it and eat the dang chicken with my fingers. She was obviously not going to be going out with me anymore, so I decided not to worry about impressing her, just try to get out of the situation without looking any dumber than I already did.
I reached down and pulled off a nice piece of chicken with my fingers….and I missed my mouth. Seriously. I jammed the chicken onto my face. I don't know how I missed it, but I did. I just missed. Which of course smeared chicken grease all over my cheek. Oh, but it doesn't end there.
The girl was looking at me like she was waiting for me to tell her, "It's just a prank, bro!" I felt so dumb. We finished eating in silence. Finally, I said, "Well, let me take you back to your dorm”. I gathered up all the trash on the tray, walked over to the garbage can, and accidentally threw the whole thing into the trash. All of it, cups, the spork, napkins, THE TRAY. All of it.
I looked at the girl, she looked at me, and we both ran to the car. I've had some other bad dating experiences, but this one took the cake. I also remember being shocked when the car started when we were leaving. After the night I'd had, I was fully expecting to have to walk several miles back to campus in the dark.
A Brutally Honest Red Flag
Working in bars and restaurants, I've been able to witness some absolute doozies. And boy does this one take the cake.
So, it's a fairly quiet night and it's pretty early, and I have a reservation for 6 pm for two people. A young guy shows up for that reservation about 10 minutes early. He tells me he's very nervous, as he's on a first date, and hasn't been on many of them, all that kind of jazz. It was kinda sweet, really.
Anyways, I seat him, and the girl arrives, like, 30 minutes late. She then proceeds to get extremely inebriated. About halfway through the meal, though, she answers her phone, takes the call, and starts talking about her date in front of her date, saying stuff like, "He's not really my type, I don't exactly like him but I figured I had nothing else planned tonight so why not".
The young man looks super discouraged, pays his bill, and leaves. Luckily, he didn’t let that date discourage him. He's a nice lad, I've seen him a few times at the bar I work at now.
My worst date was my first-ever online date. We had been chatting on a dating website and agreed to meet at a cafe. I showed up about 15 minutes early. She calls me and says she is going to be a little late. I say “no big deal”. 25 minutes later, she calls me again and says she is going to be late as she locked herself out of her apartment.
I wait and wait. At this point, it's an hour after the agreed-upon time. I see a woman who matched her picture enter the cafe. Before I can go up to meet her, my phone rings. I picked it up, and she proceeds to shout at me, "Where the heck are you? Is this some sort of prank?" I tell her that I am at a table in the back of the cafe.
My first online date was informative, as I learned why some women only post pictures of their faces. She was extremely overweight. Furthermore, she was only in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. But all this is minor compared to what happens next.
After making some small talk, I ask her how her day was going. She asks if I really want to know. I mistakenly say yes. She launches into a rant about how she got fired from her last job because people were plotting against her, and a new job she signed up for was just a scam that stole her credit card information.
She also just got out of an abusive relationship, and her 25-year-old sister was abandoning the family to move to New York City. And on top of all that, she was just kicked out of school because people said she was plotting to kill someone, but she swears she wasn't. "People are always plotting to get me, it seems".
I was too frozen to leave at that moment and stayed for about another hour trying to make the most awkward small talk ever.
Are You Afraid Of The Dark?woman in white crew neck t-shirt sitting on black couchPhoto by LexScope on Unsplash
Before I got engaged, I was casually dating. I started chatting with this guy from high school—he was good looking and I figured I’d give it a shot with him. We were supposed to go out on a date, but I didn’t feel like getting all dressed up so I suggested he come over to my place and we could Netflix/chill.
He comes over and everything is cool until we sit in the living room to watch Netflix. I sit on my couch, and he does too. I had a corner lamp on in the room. He said, “We should turn off all the lights”. I’m like eh, the corner light is fine! I personally didn’t want to be in the pitch-black dark.
But then he gets up, creeps over to the corner light, stands with his back completely against my wall, and begins to flicker the light slowly on and off…Next to the corner is the doorway into the kitchen. He is literally not saying a word, just flickering the light off and on.
So I say, “You’re creeping me out, lol, please sit”. And he says, in between flickers, “Why...are....you... afraid... of... the... dark”. He then shuffles behind the doorway so I can only see HALF of his face and body. He has his arm reach around the doorway so he can still control the light.
He then begins giggling like a little kid and continues to flick the light on and off. Needless to say, no more dates after that.
Dine And Dash
We were both broke, so we went walking around this cute, teeny tiny country town near us, and then got McDonald's to eat in the car so we could chat some more. He almost immediately starts pressuring me to go sleep with him because he bought me a cheeseburger, so I owe him, he says.
He starts getting pushy, and I say, okay, but let's go purchase some protection from this gas station that's on the other side of town. I drove for this date, so I take us to the gas station and tell him to go get the stuff while I wait. I knew exactly what I had to do.
I wait for him to get in the door and go a bit farther into the store before I drive off, leaving him stranded in this tiny gas station in the days before cell phones got popular, in a tiny country town with no bus service, no ride shares, and everything shuts down by 6 pm.
I know from mutual friends he made it home, but they already knew why he'd been ditched at the gas station, so no one cared about his whining about it.
Met a guy at a professional night out. He seemed interesting. He invited me out for Chinese food and a movie, but insisted I come by his house first to meet his four dogs, because not liking his dogs would be a deal-breaker. Cool, I love dogs.
I follow directions to his house, which is a mobile home with a small, fenced yard. So the dogs must be little, I think. NOPE. There were four large, mannerless dogs living inside this mobile home and the smell is completely encompassing.
Turns out "dinner and a movie" meant watching one of the thousands of VHS tapes and DVDs he owned while he tried to get the clothes off me, while four big dogs bounced around. I declined his kind offer of an incredible time in the bedroom and got out of there.
My clothes went directly into the washer and my car smelled like dog for days.
Showing Off His Creepy Sidewoman in maroon long-sleeved shirt holding fork over friesPhoto by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash
I once browned out at a club and remember briefly meeting a guy in a suit. The next day, I woke up to a text from Willis, the guy in the suit. Turns out we both didn't really remember each other. Over text, he seemed nice enough and we both thought it'd be a funny experience if we went on a date.
We met up for lunch and upon meeting him, I didn't really have much hope for a second date. He was kind of awkward and tried a little too hard to stunt. But whatever, he seemed like a nice guy. We sat down for pizza and started getting to know each other.
I told him I was studying public policy and was delighted when he asked what kind of policy I wanted to focus on (most people don't really care). I went on a whole rant about how much I wanted to make education policy better because I thought education had the potential to dramatically change lives, especially for those not born into much.
After I finished my rant, he says, "That's cool but I don't really believe in education for low-income people because when I grow up, I want maids and butlers and, like, someone has to do that”. I responded, "Some people have that viewpoint," and started to look for ways to end the date. But the worst was yet to come.
After we finished eating, I made up an excuse to leave an hour earlier than planned. He asked if I really had to go and said, "I should just kill you and keep you with me”. Smooth. I told him he probably shouldn't joke about that. He responded, "I would bury your body right there haha”.
The Secret Ingredient
I went on a blind date with a lady who wouldn't stop picking at her scabs. She just made a pile out of them on the restaurant table. I excused myself to use the washroom and when I came back my soup was there, but the pile of scabs wasn't. No, I didn't eat the soup.
What’s My Name?
I went out with a guy from work who I didn't know much about. He turned out to be awful in many ways and was intoxicated when I showed up. The lowlight of the night was when he started heckling the small cover band that was playing in the bar.
The guy on the mic said, "I'll give you 10 dollars out of my own pocket if you can tell me this girl's name" and—you guessed it—he literally blanked on my name in front of a room full of people. But here’s the kicker: The next day he texted me saying, "You can try again,” as if I was the one who blew it.
The Babysitterboy in black crew neck t-shirt sitting on white bedPhoto by Matthew Osborn on Unsplash
I'd been talking to this guy, and we finally decided to go on a date. He said he'd take me out for dinner and drinks. He offered to pick me up after work, so I said okay. He sent me a text saying "WE'RE" on the way. I immediately asked, “Who is we??”
Well, he's a single father, and his sister was supposed to be watching his four-year-old son, but something came up. Uh...Okay, I still went along with it. So he said he wanted to go home to shower first since he was in his work clothes.
We got to his house and he showered and fell asleep for like four hours while I hung out with his child who smacked me in the face TWICE. Luckily, after I told him not to do that anymore, we ended up getting along and having fun.
Turns out, he's a sweet kid. The guy finally woke up and we ordered pizza. I took an Uber home. I would have left before he woke up, but I didn't want to leave his kid alone.
Get My Good Side
I met someone online. I live in a mid-size city, and he lived in a small town about 40 minutes away. He asked if I would drive to him, which I wasn't wild about since there's not much to do in his little town and since we're both men and his town is very conservative, but I went with it.
He spent most of the date going on and on about conspiracy theories he believes in (all major politicians and celebrities are Illuminati satanists run by the Catholic church, etc). But the most unsettling part? He literally faced 45 degrees away from me the entire time, making sure I could only ever see him in profile.
Like, he sat sideways in his chair at dinner and always turned to the side while he was standing. At one point I stepped around into his field of view so we could look at each other, and he just immediately turned another 45 degrees.
Let’s Never Speak Of This Again
I'm cringing even thinking about this date and it happened about 12 years ago...So we went for food and a few drinks, it was going great, and we were getting on really well. We started walking back to the train station and I felt my stomach cramp. I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me.
I try not to panic and tell myself I'll go to the toilet on the station platform. We get to the platform and the toilets are out of order, the cramps and spasms are getting quite bad now and I'm starting to sweat a little. I'm trying to keep up the conversation with my date but all I can think is that I need to not poop myself in front of them.
The train arrives and we both get on, I can't bring myself to go in the tiny train toilet when I know it's going to be baaaad, so I make excuses to my date and say that I have to head home instead. My stop was only a few in, so I quickly say goodbye and exit the train.
The cramps, sweats, and pain are horrendous by this point, so as I exit the train I pick up my speed and do a jog/shuffle across the platform. I trip over my own feet and land on the platform concrete. The impact of hitting the deck belly-flop style meant that everything I'd been holding in came out.
I mortifyingly looked up to see my date staring out of the train window, looking at me as the train passed. We never called each other, we both knew what went down at that station.
It All Came Crashing Downwoman rock climbing inside buildingPhoto by yns plt on Unsplash
This happened to a close friend. Her date brought her to the local rock-climbing gym which he frequents. She said she'd climbed before and seemed pretty fit.
She fell and broke her arm within a half hour of being there.
I met this guy at a coffee place. He was nice and we met for coffee once more and then met for dinner at a bar. We were sitting at the bar, and I had turned to get the bartender’s attention. He leaned over—and did the unthinkable. He straight up licked my face, from chin to temple. I was visibly shook.
So he tried to playfully poke me to tone my "what the heck" face down and I asked him to stop. He then leaned in and whispered, "I'll just poke your sleeping body later"…I made him leave. I walked him to his car and had a bouncer stand by the door and wait for/watch me.
I received several messages a few days later. He was concerned he hadn't heard from me and was going to "stop by my parents later to see if I was ok”. I never took him to or spoke to him about my parents’ house/address. I told him I would call the authorities if I ever heard from him or saw him again.
Thankfully, I never heard from him again.
Signs From Above
We went for a walk, got a bit frisky rolling down a grassy hill, and just went at it right there behind a Mormon Church. First, a Mormon spotted us and told us we can’t do that there and just creepily watched us get dressed.
So we went elsewhere, at which point we both complained about not finishing. And the next spot we chose ended with about 30 mosquito bites on my behind, two on my junk, and she rolled over onto dog poop and cried that it was only on her.
"Go get a room," God said.
Money Matterswhite ceramic table and chairs with glasswarePhoto by Matthieu Huang on Unsplash
He took me to an Italian restaurant. After we ordered he got a phone call. He makes a small chitchat with the person on the other line. Then he says, “Mom, I know, I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. Mom! I'm here with my girlfriend. I'll tell you how much the bill was afterward”. Two things wrong with that.
One, it was a first date, and I was NOT his girlfriend. Secondly, he lived with his mom (fine…I can deal with that) and his mom micromanaged all of his money—to the point of calling during dinner to see what kind of money he was spending. It was super creepy and really weird.
I saw him one more time to confirm he was a strange ranger and broke it off.
Running Him Ragged
I was the cause of a bad first date. I grossly underestimated how long it would take him (I’m a woman) to hike seven miles. I had to call a friend to get the ranger hotline to let them know we would still be on the trail after 9 pm when the gates closed.
By the last three miles, he was giving pep talks to his legs and threatening to eat the frogs that were hopping on the trail. I had to use my phone to light his way because it was super dark and he didn’t have his. Sorry, dude. You were a really nice guy. I didn’t mean to walk you to the point of collapse.
I met a girl online and we started talking. Everything was grand. She and I texted often and seemed to be hitting it off well. So we meet and start having dinner. Everything is good except she just seems a bit off.
We order a pitcher of margaritas. We each have one and mid-sentence she just stops talking and stares at her hands. Just...looking at them. I ask if she's ok and she says, “Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just really tipsy”. I say “Really? We've only had one drink”.
She says then, “Oh, I've been drinking all day”. Now, I stop and think about past conversations. She texted me a lot saying, "Hey I'm a little tipsy walking home, keep me company”. I start thinking this might be a trend with her. She then proceeds to faceplant into the table. I think she's joking because it was so exaggerated.
I laugh and realize she isn't moving. I tap her and wake her and I call for the check, which was a looooot more than I'd figured. She then asks if I could walk her home. I said I would as she was in pretty rough shape. We start walking more and more and then I ask how much farther. She says another mile.
So we walk some more and finally get to her place. She offers me some water and then asks if I want to stay. I politely declined and she angrily kicked me out. So, that was that. I had to use a GPS to find my way back to my car.
Drama Kingman wiping his tearsPhoto by Tom Pumford on Unsplash
This is technically a breakup, but it happened on a date. I tried to break up with him in private in the car. He said he needed a pause on the conversation, took us into a restaurant, then proceeded to burst into tears in front of everyone.
The best bit is that a few weeks later, he came into my work pretending that we hadn’t broken up and I had to break up with him again...while he cried...in front of his sister who was my co-worker...
Telling Tall Tales
I got the friend call bail-out one time. The girl had to go to the bathroom right in the middle of the date so I knew it was coming. She kept talking once she got back for a few minutes. Her story was rather impressive, though.
She didn't stick me with the “my friend needs help” act. She told me that a bus crashed, and she had to get back to the hospital because there were multiple deceased kids. That was interesting.
My first date was my worst date. After an excruciatingly long car ride listening to him discuss his love of clubs and bottle service, we get to the restaurant he refers to as "enough of a hole-in-the-wall for a girl like me”. After ordering he says he needs to check his bank account, followed by him telling me to cover dinner (I'm fine with paying, just maybe ask politely).
Then he, and only him, spoke for the rest of the dinner, explaining how the earth is flat and he is going to be a senator on Mars in 10 years, so any woman who seriously dates him will need to be supportive. Afterward, since he drove, he dragged me to a club.
Upon him uttering, "This is going so well!" I explained to him that it, in fact, was not, given that I had yet to even have the chance to speak. He then asked him to list examples. After saying this was the worst date I ever experienced, he sat down next to me and asked, "So we can be friends who possibly become more?"
I promptly called an Uber. He texted me asking me on a date every day for a week straight until I finally blocked the number.
Shortchanged By The UniversePeople Share The First Date Fails That Were Total Deal BreakersPhoto by Chewy on Unsplash
I arrived early at the coffee shop because I was nervous. When I parked, I realized I forgot my wallet at home. Mind you, the coffee shop was 30 minutes from home, and we were supposed to meet in 10 minutes.
So I scrounged around in my car for loose change. Found $2 in quarters, nickels, and dimes. I hurried in and bought the cheapest coffee I could. She comes in, confused that I already got something, and orders her own—very gentlemanly of me not to offer to pay with the rest of the nickels and pennies in my car, right?
We sit outside, with the setting sun in my eyes, but I'm too proud to move so the sun is blinding me the entire hour we are there. Honestly, the conversation was pleasant, but at the end, I shifted my weight on this wooden chair I was sitting on…and heard a loud CRACK.
Sure enough, the chair was broken. I know I’m a large dude, but this just had to happen now? I wasn’t surprised when I didn't get a call back from that date.
Well, That One Backfired
I haven't had many dates but the worst—and funniest—was from Tinder. The plan was to start at my house as a double date then, and if it went well, we'd split up and go out.
It never got to the last part because he took a dump in my toilet, blocked it with toilet roll, got embarrassed when my friend went in, and left. Oh, and he forgot his jacket in the rush so got one of his friends to come and get it the next day.
I ask what he does, and he says, "I don't like to brag about my job, you know the fact that I save lives every day”. He was a doctor, and he said that with no sarcasm. Then he gets angry because he asked me out on a dating app five years before our date and I didn't respond to his message immediately.
I tell him it was an old account I never logged into he says, "Goes to show girls are so fickle…” And the icing on the cake? He admits he actually has strep throat and "I actually shouldn't be on a date right now”. Gross.
Third Time’s The Charmwoman in black long sleeve shirt sitting on red chairPhoto by Vladimir Fedotov on Unsplash
In my sophomore year of high school, I wanted to go see a movie with my date. At the first theater, they asked for ID for the first time ever. I wasn’t 18 and couldn't get tickets. At the second theater, the movie was canceled after the AC broke and the heater reached 95 degrees.
The third theater didn't have seats next to each other. She still wanted to watch it, so we sat in DIFFERENT ROWS. Unsurprisingly, there was no second date.
A String Of Bad Luck
There's honestly no way for me to say which date is worse. I've had many bad dates, but these really take the cake. I went on a date with someone that seemed normal until she revealed that she was convinced we were all part of the matrix.
Another person I dated was a biter. I had to go to work and see my family with scars and bruises on my neck because she bit and yanked. I thought I was gonna die. And one date abandoned me at a club because I was out of my introverted comfort zone.
I walked home, then ended up peeing my pants because I was wasted and didn't really care as I was going through a depressive episode. So, as you can see, my dating life has never been easy.
Is That My Ride?
I once was asked out by the mate of some friends. He asked for my number and called to ask me to dinner. He asks if I mind if he picks me up in his work vehicle. I have been in the corporate world for a while so I'm thinking it’s a company car, zero drama. Looking back on it, I realize I should have asked what he did for a living.
The night arrives, he turns up...in a garbage truck. But wait, it gets better. I decide “Ah well, he did ask and I said yes”, so we go out for dinner. I can only assume he was insanely nervous because he proceeds to get inebriated—to the point that he asks me if I can drive the garbage truck home.
Now, this thing has four gear sticks. I can only drive an automatic. So this numpty drove me home, in a garbage truck. Then asks if he can stay the night.
There was no second date...
Playing With Firewhite candles on black holderPhoto by Anne Nygård on Unsplash
My first date was definitely my worst date. The girl started lighting matches, would put them out with her fingers, then eat the burnt matchstick head.
Just Watch Me
My worst date was at boarding school, on a college campus. We were both straight-edge dweebs, so we went to a party at the student center together. He got bored in about 15 minutes, so we snuck off into the building together. I thought it was gonna be for some, like, making out and stuff? No.
He found a computer lab and made me watch him play League of Legends for two hours while he tried to explain the game to me. If you meet a hot guy and he's single there is probably a reason.
It Was Like Watching A Car Crash
Online, her profile picture was cute. We had about four or five normal conversations before we decided to go to the movies. Now, I hate taking dates to the movies because this minimizes conversations and getting to know somebody in person, but I was like, “She’s cute, what’s the worst that can happen”?
Now, let the record show she chose the time of the movie and what time I was picking her up, so it's not like she had no idea that she had to use the bathroom. The movie theater was about 15 mins from her house. As soon as she got in my car, she seemed intoxicated, threatened to kick-fight me if I tried anything funny. This all happened within the course of 10 minutes.
On the tenth minute she said "pull over," so I did. I couldn't believe what she did next. She got out of my car on a sort of busy highway street and proceeded to take a dump within eyeshot…it was one of those times where it's hard to look away. When my brain registered what was going on I leaned over, closed the passenger door, and drove away.
The Double Date Disasterbowling ball going to hit bowling pinsPhoto by Michelle McEwen on Unsplash
So for starters, this was my first date. First date ever. I had no frame of reference for this, but I had just turned 16 and the guy had been cute at school, so the bar was really low. He somehow managed to limbo himself under it.
I didn’t want to go on a date without another couple because I have no trust in people. He had a big friend group and I knew all of them, so he assured me this wouldn’t be a problem. When I got to his house, the person he’d asked to double with us was...his aunt, who he apparently lived with.
She was 21, I was 16, already great. Her date showed up and he was not aware it was a date. He thought they were just hanging out, not chaperoning her awkward little nephew and his new love interest. He was Polynesian. She made Hawaiian haystacks.
He’d never seen those before, but he walked into the house to the scent of badly burned rice because she couldn’t cook. He saved the rice, everything else was straight out of a can, it was great. They hadn’t planned anything, so they decided to throw blades with us in the backyard.
I did better than my date, he was upset, then his aunt nailed him in the behind with an airsoft BB and he was REALLY upset. To salvage things, his aunt suggested we go bowling. I was wearing ballet flats, so I had to wear his weird too-big 2010 teenage nerd socks, which I already had too many questions about that I didn’t want answered.
So we headed out to go bowling, but not before he tried to reclaim his teenage masculinity by squashing a spider on the wall... by kicking it, and kicking his leg right through the wall along with it. His leg got stuck. His aunt had to help him. I was not impressed.
Finally, we get to the bowling alley and walk in and we’re all really good…but then it gets really awkward because the manager is his aunt’s recent ex. So eventually the date ends, and he tries to kiss me in the back seat of his aunt’s car with both the aunt and her date watching. She cheered.
I’d like to say that I didn’t go on another date with him, but this wasn’t even the worst date I had in high school.
He stuck his fingers in my dessert, licked his fingers, and did it again!! I ordered a lemon meringue pie and offered for him to try some. He said “no” only to then proceed to say, “Actually, that looks good". Then he sticks his fingers in for a taste. Yuck!
A Night To Remember
Back in the day, I was on extended leave and was going through some rough times. So I went to Colombia to learn Spanish. I was out with some guys from the Spanish school and spotted this absolutely stunning woman. I knew I had to ask her out, even though my Spanish was still pretty basic.
So, I went ahead, asked her out, and to my surprise she said yes. One day later, the day of the date, I didn't feel so well but I decided to go ahead, I was so excited. So I went there, picked her up and we went to a nice restaurant. Afterward, we went for a walk on the beach—yep, sounds cheesy but it's true.
Right then, I started to feel really bad, becoming dizzy and all. That’s when it happened. I had to throw up—not normally, but with all the power my body could give. I don't remember lots about it, apparently, I fell unconscious and woke up at the hospital.
To my surprise, my date was sitting right next to me, in training clothes since I puked all over her. She was really worried and just said that we hadn’t had the chance to finish our date. This year, we're getting married.
He Got Gassedwhite bed sheetPhoto by Emma Dau on Unsplash
My worst date started as a total high school thing: a girl wants to set up a date at her place while her parents are gone for the weekend on vacation or something. So I agree to it, we're having a good time, everything's going well.
It’s starting to get late, we're in bed together, and she totally passes out. She’s out cold, snoring, it’s like 3 am and I'm still awake. Then, she starts moving around on the bed a little…and she lets this toot rip like I've never heard.
It started and it just kept going....and going. At first, I thought maybe it was her little old dog. It wasn't...then it hits me and oh my god, it’s so rank. I pull up my shirt to cover my nose like a mask and in my mind, I'm thinking what the heck did she eat?
To top it all off, she then made this little noise of relief when it was finally over. I couldn't take it. I slipped my pants and socks and shoes on real gently so as not to wake her. As quietly as possible I walked out, down the stairs, and right out the front door. Luckily, she lived in my neighborhood and it wasn't a long walk home.
Of course, the next day she asked me where the heck I went and why but I didn't have the heart to tell her, I figured it would be too embarrassing.
I’m taking a girl to the movies and she asks, "Can my best friend come too?" There goes my chances but trying to be nice, I say, “Of course you can!” She shows up with her friend, who is indeed a guy.
This is when I find out that it’s her one and only ex, but they remained best friends and nothing is happening between them. I think, “Well, this date is ruined, but let’s try to salvage it". I go to pay for our tickets (mine and hers), even when she offered to pay for hers.
After buying, she turns around and buys her ex’s ticket…We actually got along fine and they were nice people, but it was like a tug of war for the rest of the night fighting for her attention. Of course, I lose since they are best friends.
When I get home, the guy adds me on Facebook, and he proceeds to tell me don't bother trying to date her, she's a terrible girlfriend. I finally got her alone for one more movie, but it all just sort of fell apart. I actually really liked her, but clearly, I had no effect on her. Oh well, I guess.
Take note, future daters: movie dates are a bad idea.
Perhaps not my worst date, but definitely the weirdest. I was on a date with this girl who seemed great: good-looking, funny, shared similar interests. It was our first date, and we were sitting in some bar that she's a regular at, discussing ourselves when it starts getting to the basic first date questions.
"So, you said you work in an office but is that what you really want to do?" I asked, "Did you go to school for it?" "Actually…” She says, reaching into her bag, "I'm currently going to clown school”. I kid you not, this girl had pulled out a red freaking clown nose and put it on.
Now, if this was our third date, I would have been less shocked. However, we had been talking for a week and this was the first date—we were supposed to IMPRESS each other. But she was good-looking, and I wanted to hook up.
So I said, "Oh! That's so cool. I didn't know clown school was actually a thing”.
"Oh, no, it's competitive!"
"I had no idea. So, are you in clown university, clown college, clown technical school?"
And then she took my joke as an attack. For a clown, she had a terrible sense of humor.
Equality At Any Costperson holding sliced pizza with red saucePhoto by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash
I went on one date with a guy I wasn’t physically attracted to because he seemed nice. He spent the ENTIRE date bragging about how much money he made. We shared a pizza. I had one slice, he had six.
When the bill came, he said he’d appreciate it if we split it evenly “because that’s how things work these days”. He tried to make out with me when he dropped me off at home and my god, his breath... it was like he ate a dead raccoon.
A few years ago, I went on a coffee date with a nursing student who described in vivid detail how he and his ex-girlfriend milked an old lady into a toilet at a party. According to him, that was not even the first time or party where he had milked her, he just happened to do it with his girlfriend that time.
I was mortified and found an excuse to promptly leave. The funniest part was a few days later when he texted me asking to go on a second date—which I ignored—followed by another text the next day that said, "It was the milk story, wasn't it?"
An Awkward Introduction
I got stood up at a cafe. She called and told me an emergency had come up and she wasn't going to make it. I had only been waiting for three or four minutes and wasn’t too upset about it, so I called a friend to see what he was doing.
I ended up meeting him across town at the bar he was drinking at, which is also where he introduced me to my date, who he had just met playing pool there.
An Icy Encounterperson wearing white leather ice skatePhoto by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash
Back in college, I was invited to an ice rink with a girl I liked and some of her friends. I did not know how to ice skate and I did not pick it up very quickly, but I wanted to try and impress her somehow. Well, I hugged the wall the whole time and made a fool of myself.
The highlight was when I saw a flash of light as I fell in front of a group of people. Turns out I had fallen right at the moment someone took a picture, so my failure was immortalized forever. She took me back to my apartment and ended the relationship before it began. But there's a silver lining.
The woman who is now my wife was at that ice rink on that night. We didn't realize we were there at the same time until a year or two into our relationship and she exclaimed, "You were that guy who couldn't ice skate! Yeah, she didn't seem that into you”.
On our second date, he bragged to me: 1) how long he was able to stay on unemployment, 2) how he was always able to talk his mom into letting him come home after she kicked him out, 3) how he basically paid for the $3,000 implants of a dancer, even though he didn't get anything for it.
He also revealed that he got locked up for about four months for pulling a pistol on some teenagers, but he didn't intend to use it. This was a half-brag, not a full brag. It was so strange because he seemed like a nice guy on the first date.
On the second date, with all of that, I was just laughing inside and wondering how I was going to end the date. Turns out it wasn’t a problem because after dinner he had to go and hang with his buddies at the video store.
Laying All Her Cards On The Table
My worst date? She had Crohn’s disease. She takes her pee bag out in the middle of our dinner date and says I need to look at it so I understand what I’m getting myself into. The catheter tube knocked over her drink. It was awful. Poor girl.
Momma’s Boywoman in black tank top covering her face with her handsPhoto by Julia Taubitz on Unsplash
For our first date, he took me to dinner at his mother's…with his brother and the mother’s crazy housemate. After dinner, we watched Iron Chef with all of them while sitting on the floor because there weren’t enough chairs. During the show, his mother was talking to us about using vibrating toys when doing the housework to make it more enjoyable.
And here’s the best part: He didn't even live with his mother. Needless to say, it was our first and only date.
The Ole Switcheroo
My worst date started off as a date and ended up as an MLM pitch. On the plus side, I still have those Cutco scissors and they are decent.
The Stench Of Success
It was my third date with a girl, and we went to a Poison-Def Leppard concert. We weren't eating before the concert and I was starving, so I grabbed a chicken salad sandwich from a gas station before I picked her up.
Halfway through the show, I have to poop. Bad. I run to the can and every toilet is knee-deep in filth. We had VIP seats, so I figured I would wait and hit the VIP bar on the way out. I took a massive dump and made five guys scream about the stench, which made me giggle.
Well, we parked in front, pulled the car out, and sat and waited. All of a sudden, round two hits—and this time it is wet. I was getting stomach contractions every 2-3 minutes, I was death-clinching the steering wheel and sweating like a fat lady in Golden Corral.
I then had an epiphany that if I just tooted a little, I would feel better. Oh, how wrong I was. The soft serve ice cream machine in my shorts exploded and got everywhere. I ran into the woods, finished pooping, and wiped my butt with my wifebeater.
We have been married 12 years now and have three kids.
Didn’t See That One Comingcappuccino on coffee tablePhoto by Ben Moreland on Unsplash
I was 19 or so, sitting at a bus stop bench waiting for the bus to go to work. This stunning woman sits next to me. Not long after, she starts talking to me. We have a pretty good conversation and I build up the courage to ask if she'd like to meet up sometime at a nearby coffee shop.
She says YES! We agree on a day and time then the last thing she says to me before I get on my bus is "It's a date”. I go to the coffee shop at the agreed time and see she is already there. But that's not all. She also has a male friend sitting right next to her.
No big deal, I figure he must be there in case I'm a creep or something. I sit across from her and we order a drink. Then right away she says, "So, what do you think about Jesus,” and pulls out a pamphlet. I reply, "I thought this was a date," and she says something along the lines of "I didn't think you'd show up if it wasn't”.
I ended up leaving right away before she saw me tear up. That was definitely my worst date ever.
Just Pop A Squat
I was in France and having a lovely dinner at a sidewalk cafe with a young lady I met the day prior. But in the middle of our dinner, she did something utterly deranged. She excused herself to use the restroom, got up, walked about ten feet, squatted, and peed in the gutter. Yup, no second date after that.
Reddit user Prestigious-Humor872 asked: 'Food Trends People Can't Wait To Die Out'
Food trends are not so very different from fashion trends, constantly evolving and quickly becoming outdated or passé.
Can you think of the last time you were served ambrosia at a dinner party?
Or have you noticed how anything featuring kale is now met with an eye roll rather than excitement?
Of course, some food trends tend to last longer than others.
Even if many people wish that they would also become extinct... the sooner the better!
Redditor Prestigious-Humor872 was eager to hear all the food trends people wished would die out, and fast, leading them to ask:
"What modern food trend can you not wait to die?"
Less Isn't Always More...
"2 ingredient desserts (with 7 'optional' ingredients that appear once you read the actual recipe)."- strawberry-emma
You Pay For The Experience
"Food trucks that charge the same price as a premium restaurant but serve half the size on a floppy plate that I have to stand up to eat."- thorn_10
"Weren’t they supposed to serve cheaper food because of lower overhead?"
"No brick and mortar?"
"We have a lobster roll truck-pulled by a Range Rover- that shows up for lunch and charges $22 for one entree."
Choice Of Words...
"Calling a slight alteration to a recipe a 'hack'."
"Adding parmesan cheese to your grilled cheese sandwich is not a 'hack'."
"It's a minor recipe change."- No_Pear_2326
Jumping The Gun A Bit...
"If I'm on a website I'm only there to look at your menu."
"I'm not interested in starting an order before I've looked at the menu."
"No, I don't want to give you my zip code."
"Just give me your menu and some food pictures."- DueRest
"Fancy restaurants that say they serve 'street tacos' and proceed to charge $18 for three."- Chipwich75T-Bell Yes GIF by Taco BellGiphy
There's A Reason We're Told Not To Play With Our Food...
"The stupid food wasting trends on YouTube and TikTok etc."- fluffernuttersndwch
Presentation Is Key...
"For some reason putting food in wine glasses."- Ralphroberts603
"Restaurants serving food on cutting boards, shovels, paper, shells, or anything that is not an actual plate."- Funny_Disaster1002meat grill GIF by Gifs LabGiphy
Remember The Golden Arches And The Red Roofs?
"Making all fast food buildings look like cookie-cutter beige/grey boxes."
"They all used to have their own distinct personalities."- mattnotis
There's Economizing, And Then There's Jusy Poor Hygeine...
"The videos of people making food in sinks."
Is It Even Still A Secret After 100 Thousand Views?
"Any TikTok/IG trend that makes life more difficult for fast-food workers with overly complex orders or ordering stuff not on the menu or trying to 'one up' each others orders etc."- HiThisIsMichaelbored fast food GIF by Zaxby'sGiphy
Maybe It Gives Them Incentive?
"Tipping as an option BEFORE receiving good service."- mytimeis2044
Sweet Tooth? Or Cavity Express?
"Sweets on top of sweets."
"A milkshake with a donut, lollipop, and cupcake attached."- Marleygem
Technology Slowly Taking Our Jobs...
"I just went to a restaurant, not a fast food place, a sit-down restaurant where you have to scan the QR code for the menu, then a screen pops up where you have to place your own order."
"No one comes to the table to answer questions, nothing."
"You place your order, a person comes by and throws your drinks at you. "
"Then they swing by a while later and throw your food at you."
"That’s all you see of them."
"You pay your bill on your phone, and are still expected to tip."- Megmuffin102Saint Urbain Website GIF by Front of HouseGiphy
Be it in presentation, cooking style, or flavor profile, people will likely always try to make food "cool" in truly bizarre ways.
Sometimes ignoring that the only thing that should truly matter is whether or not it tastes good.
At least people have finally realized that kale doesn't need to be added to everything!
For now, at least...
When discussing love and relationships, the motto is usually less is more.
But what if there is more of one partner?
Being involved with identical twins can be quite the experience.
Can you really tell them apart?
Is everything identical?
If you're attracted to one, aren't you automatically attracted to the other?
So many questions.
Now we need some answers.
Redditor nicknamesofdaveryder wanted to hear about love and the twin experience, so they asked:
"Redditors who married someone with an identical twin sibling, why are you glad you're not with the other twin instead?"
I've never met a lot of twins, let alone gotten involved with a pair.
I have questions.
Hopefully I get some answers.
SavedComedy Central Wink GIF by Drunk HistoryGiphy
"My late husband's twin was a non-functioning alcoholic and my husband wasn’t. My husband says joining the navy was what saved him from going down that road."
"Story time! I am an identical twin (we still look so much alike!) and one night I spent the night at her house. She and I fell asleep in the same bed because we were up late talking, etc. Her husband slept on the couch. The next morning my twin went to take a shower and her husband laid down on the bed with me (thinking it was her of course). I jokingly said 'Hey sailor, looking for a little variety?' He shot off the bed and said 'If I was looking for variety, do you think I'd choose you??'"
The Good Guy And The Other One
"I didn't marry him but I dated an identical twin. His twin's girlfriend and I used to joke around that she got the evil twin. He was just a selfish, messed-up person. One of the benefits of breaking up with my boyfriend was no longer having his twin in my life. Plus, his ex gf and I are still great friends! The good guy was just the lesser evil. She wanted to get as far away from that family as I did. The best thing to come out of those relationships was our friendship."
"My dad's an identical twin. People have a hard time distinguishing them, but to my mom and me, they look like two completely different people because of the way they walk/talk/etc. Obviously, my mom only fell in love with this one person. When you love someone it's actually pretty easy to tell identical twins apart."
IssuesThreaten Ashley Olsen GIFGiphy
"The other twin has the same personality as I do. We argue readily and are super competitive with each other. We butt heads on a lot of issues."
Personality clashes aren't just a twin thing.
It's a human thing.
We can't help ourselves.
Different PeopleTriplets GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy
"I work with a guy who married an identical triplet, one of the triplets also works with us. I asked him one day if it was weird working with someone who looked just like his wife. He got a little pissed and basically said they are all very different people and he doesn't see much of his wife in her."
"We’re not married but known each other since we were 12 and have been together 3 and a half years. His twin is a massive di**head who tried to break us up multiple times, was madly in love with me in his own words, and after 2 years of pursuing me declared I was a terrible person and put him through hell. Because I didn’t break up with his TWIN BROTHER to date him."
"My husband and his twin brother look very different to me, although they are identical and get mistaken for one another all the time. They couldn’t be more different in terms of personality. They have different values and life goals, hobbies, one is introverted and the other is extroverted. If they were two people who didn’t look alike, I would automatically not be attracted to my brother-in-law simply because we are not remotely compatible personality-wise."
"Also they have very different styles. I do not find the way my husband’s twin dresses/grooms his hair attractive. It’s so wild to me when people can’t tell them apart because they couldn’t be more different in my eyes."
"Well, my wife and I have been together for 30 years. She has a 'mirror' twin. Even now, if you don’t know them well or interact frequently you will not be able to tell them apart. They are complete opposites. I married the extrovert, she has never met a stranger, will try anything at least once, and can find a positive aspect in almost everything she encounters, they are also best friends, my wife drags her sister along all the time."
"Once she’s out she enjoys our activities. I love my SIL, all three of them, but so glad I married the one like me. The mirror part even goes for looks, when I see my wife’s reflection I see my SIL, it’s weird sometimes. Also, attitude and personality are everything, I have never been 'attracted' to her twin."
The LookSexy Damon Wayans Jr GIF by Global TVGiphy
"I used to date an identical twin. Although I found his brother objectively handsome, I wasn't attracted to him at all. It was cool to directly experience how attraction goes far beyond just the looks."
I've never been intrigued by twins, and now I never will be.
My Father was considered a genius.
At 16 he graduated high school as Valedictorian, joined the United States Navy as soon as he turned 17 then was promptly recruited by Admiral Hyman Rickover's team converting the Navy from diesel to nuclear power.
He served as a nuclear and electrical engineer on naval vessels after the conversion project ended, then as a reactor inspector for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission after retiring from the Navy.
He also needed a full time babysitter in order to survive. Things like paying bills, buying groceries, feeding himself all escaped him. He lacked any semblance of common sense.
Really smart people doing very unsmart things isn't uncommon.
And sometimes a person is labeled a genius who's really an idiot with good brand marketing.
Reddit user saigalaxy asked:
"What’s the biggest example of from 'genius' to 'idiot' there has ever been?"
"Gerald Ratner—made two ill-thought statements during a speech in 1991 in which he called his own products crap and lost half a billion GBP (1991 GBP at that!) off the value of his company overnight!"
"'Costs less than a prawn sandwich from marks and spencer, and probably lasts just as long'.”
“'People say, how can you sell it for such a low price, I say, because it’s total crap!'.”
"He said this to a room with a high number of journalists which took the story and ran with it. After this, anyone buying anything for a gift for a loved one from one of Ratner’s stores branded themselves as cheap, so sales plummeted.
"He was ousted as chairman within a year and they had to change their name!"
"Shooting your own company in the foot like this has since became known as 'the Ratner effect' or 'doing a Ratner'."
"The guy that invented polymerase chain reaction (PCR)—which was ground breaking in early DNA research, got a Nobel Prize, though most probably remember it from the Covid days—went off the rails, denied that HIV caused AIDS even after it was scientific consensus and spent his time talking to a glowing racoon in the forest at night."
"The whole story behind him coming up with PCR was about him driving around San Diego while on an acid trip and while going through traffic he pictured DNA unwinding."
"Dude definitely took way too many drugs."
"I've heard from people who worked with him that he was always pretty out there, did a lot of work drunk or high in lab even when a graduate student and post doctoral."
"Linus Pauling. He went from being a preeminent chemist and biochemist to a quack who wrote books claiming that megadoses of vitamin C cured all disease and was the key to an insanely long life."
"He went on to promote crazy Vitamin C supplements that you just peed out."
"If you're taking Vitamin C for a cold, it's probably because of him and peer-reviewed research shows as long as you're not Vitamin C deficient, it's useless."
"John McAfee. Not sure of the genuis part, but the downfall was legendary."
"He wrote and marketed the first commercial antivirus software after cutting teeth at NASA, Univac, and Xerox as a coder. Might have peaked around 100 million dollars."
"Then he sold his stake, told everyone to uninstall his company's product, retired, got into recreational drugs, lost tens of millions, possibly murdered a man in Belize...ran for President of the US, and then was arrested in Spain for US tax evasion."
"Elizabeth Holmes, founder of Theranos."
"She went all in on 'fake it til you make it' until enough people asked tough questions and it became obvious she was just faking it."
"Simple, it was pure hubris. Elizabeth Holmes, who didn't have a degree in any sciences, let alone a PhD didn't believe the experts when they told her what she wanted was physically impossible to achieve."
"She thought that she was gonna prove all of them wrong by duping lots of people out of their money and throwing it into her company. Then throwing money at lawyers to intimidate whistleblowers into fearing for their lives."
"This is one of the situations where anyone with a science background looked at what that company promised and realised it was all a mirage."
"'We can fit the operation of a whole lab, and tests that take atleast a day into a little box, and it can do it all in minutes!! Please invest'."
"Even now that it's become more accepted to say Musk is an idiot, people still get incredibly offended when I compare him to Elizabeth Holmes even though 'autopilot' is clearly the same sh*t as Holmes' Edison."
"His other promises are also bullshit, but FSD is very much so Edison where the realistic timescale is anywhere from a decade away to literally never, but that hasn't stopped him from saying it's coming this year every year for the past 6."
"This is pretty much how a lot of people look at Musk's claims but thousands of people will get offended when you say it."
"Elon Musk comes to mind immediately. Well, he was probably an idiot the whole time but he had the veneer of a genius for a while."
"I'll give him credit for his personal branding when he first became a household name. He had most of us fooled. I remember telling my wife, 'This dude is a genius! He's going to get us to Mars!'."
"Then he started posting on Twitter."
"And then I found out who he really was."
"I was fooled as well. I can remember the exact time the veil started to lift too."
"It was when he called that cave diver a pedo just because they didn't use Elon's dumb idea for rescuing those kids in Thailand. It was all downhill after that."
More on Musk
"Musk should be an example to never trust a hype man. Regardless of how sucessful they are, they are at the end of the day just a face to the actual work being done by hard working and intelligent people."
"People like Musk don't really do anything."
"He's only smart enough to hype someone else's vision and have other people complete it but then he takes all the credit, making it seem like he does all the work."
"For example, he keeps saying he founded Tesla when he didn't join until a year after it was up and running. And even then he joined as an investor not as an engineer or anything like that."
"He's constantly spouting his political opinions on Twitter as though they were facts and he's even getting involved in geopolitics by cutting crucial internet access to Ukraine when they need it the most."
"And speaking of Twitter, he had to eat his words when the SEC forced him to buy the platform after he kept trying to get out of it."
"Now 'the genius' is stuck with a 40 billion dollar company that's losing value because of his mismanagement and can't turn a profit, no matter what idiotic policy change he implements."
"Why on earth would you remove the brand name off a brand you paid 40b for? The name Twitter, and Tweet, has value so you discard it for a name that will only ever have the suffix 'formerly Twitter'."
"It's like buying Coca Cola and changing it's name to X—it devalues the brand."
"Nah, he doesn't even have the vision. He just had money and says, 'let me get in on this'."
"Legit all his own ideas have been terrible. Hyperloop? A tunnel in which you can ride in your Tesla."
"Cybertruck? Looks terrible and he wants the metal panels to be at a smoothness that's physically impossible to achieve."
"Twitter? Well, just look at how big the dumpster fire became after he threw gasoline on it."
"William Shockley led the team at Bell Labs that invented the transistor. That breakthrough yielded portable radios and hearing aids, and made computer microchips possible in the decades that followed."
"He essentially allowed computers to go from filling a room in a building to eventually fitting in a desktop and then in your pocket."
"He received a Nobel prize along with his team, and then spent the rest of his life spewing racism and eugenics garbage."
"Oh, the BEST part is he wanted to set up sperm banks where people like him (the 'smart' ones) could donate and then women from the 'lesser' classes would be able to get some good smart boy juice."
"He was so full of himself he was overflowing."
"Rudy Giuliani went from 'the man who saved NYC' to 9/11 'America's Mayor' to henchman sidekick—a la Renfield or Igor—overnight."
"He was the media darling to win the 2008 Republican nomination. Turns out, people just didn't like him and he had to drop out of the race."
"Lech Walesa—he posts the stupidest sh*t you could imagine on social media, always speaks about himself as a sole savior of the entire human race, everything, EVERYTHING is happening thanks to him."
"He is posting this on a Polish equivalent of Reddit, so people are just teasing him there to post even more of such stupidities and he always falls for that."
"On top of that he posts there his naked photos in a bathtub full of beer, posts poorly photoshopped posters of himself with other historical figures… basically the guy made a walking meme out of himself."
"And he is still giving lectures on European Universities as a special guest somehow."
"He is a Nobel Peace Prize winner, the face and one of the leaders of the Polish solidarity movement and a former president of Poland."
"Genius by playing a deep role in developing robust mechanisms for the US government to operate from the ground up."
"Idiot by tarnishing his political career with openly admitting to cheating on his wife with a prostitute for months."
"Also stupid by agreeing to duel with someone who wanted to kill him, putting on glasses to show intent in winning, then pointing his gun away mid-duel and getting himself shot and killed."
"I think Steve Jobs was a marketing and sales genius."
"Then when it came to his treatable cancer ... well I wouldn't call him an idiot, but he placed his faith in the wrong person and his 'I always win' attitude cost him his life."
"He was unlucky to get cancer, but lucky that it was treatable at the stage it was discovered ... but he ignored his doctors and thought that changing his diet would heal him."
"In a previous job, some of our dumbest and most frustrating clients were doctors."
"I'm sure most of them were great at being doctors, but they couldn't seem to read or understand the fairly basic info we sent them and often asked the most stupid questions."
"Ben Carson is the perfect example of the idiot doctor."
"He is legit one of the world's best brain surgeons. If you need brain surgery you'd be very lucky to have him as your surgeon. He's probably top 25 surgeons on the planet."
"However, the man put every skill point he has into brain surgery, and into no other skills of any kind. He's a moron in every other field aside from brain surgery."
"I'm still pretty convinced Trump thought 'urban development' meant 'secretary in charge of Black people', and that's why he picked Carson for HUD."
"Don’t understand how Sam Bankman-Fried isn’t on this list yet."
"Dude was in magazines being called a prophet and genius, turns out he was just a f**king idiot the whole time."
"The entire Forbes Thirty Under Thirty list is pretty much a bunch of smooth-talking scamming idiots."
"Sam Bankman-Fraud was also on there in 2021."
"It pisses me off that media still refer to him as a former billionaire. In what way was he a billionaire? The money he spent was all other people’s; FTX and Alameda Research didn’t even keep financial records, even Bankman-Fried had no idea how much money he had access to."
"Like if I take a piece of paper and I write on it that it represents one billion fudge tokens, then I take another piece of paper and write on it that it represents one fudge token and I convince my friend to buy the second piece of paper for a dollar, does that mean I’m a billionaire?"
"That’s the only sense in which Bankman-Fried was ever a billionaire."
"To me that is such an Emperor’s new clothes scenario. It seems like he was never really that bright, but a roomful of investors thought he was a genius for no apparent reason and pumped him up."
"The story of how he took a call with investors while he was playing video games and half paying attention comes to mind. Apparently they took it as a sign that he was a real silicone valley whiz kid and invested heavily."
Thomas Midgley Jr.
"Thomas Midgley Jr.—All his inventions—leaded gasoline and CFCs—were thought to be great contributions to mankind until we found out they were dumping crazy amounts of toxins into the atmosphere and burning a hole in the ozone layer."
"He f*cked up so much sh*t. All that lead screwed up several generations to brain damage."
"And its STILL effecting people. Lead gets trapped in your bones and as you age and your bone density decreases that lead is re-released back into their system."
"This is probably the best answer there is. They guy really, really was considered a genius, and now he's probably on the top five list of people without military or political power who has done the most harm to the world."
These are pretty well supported examples.
Who would you add to the list?
Corporations don't get big overnight.
A lot of tough decisions, big wins, and sometimes even bigger losses, go into their growth.
But sometimes companies make mistakes that the public simply cannot let slide, and it can be hard to imagine how the company could stay afloat after the backlash.
Redditor Astro_Shogun asked:
"What decision by a company received the most amount of backlash from the public?"
Dang It, Photobucket
"When Photobucket decided to take the whole internet hostage by asking for 400 dollars a year for what was previously a free image storage solution. The move broke years of forum posting and erased a significant portion of the web collective knowledge."
"Yup. And now they're holding almost all of my son's childhood photos (some of which I managed to save in other places) hostage."
"Browse any forum thread from the early 2000s and practically all the images are gone because everyone used Photobucket back then. It will be the same way with Reddit whenever Imgur goes under."
"JCPenny doing away with sales and trying to present itself as a more upscale store. Sales immediately plummeted, and they reversed course quickly."
"Gerald Ratner said the reason his jewelry company could sell stuff so cheap was because the products were crap. It destroyed the company overnight."
Front Wheel Drive
"Ford, in the '80s, tried to replace the aging Fox body Mustang with a front-wheel drive, Mazda-based car. This was pre-internet, but car people got UPSET and deluged Ford with a letter expressing their anger."
"Ford backtracked, kept the Fox body around, and released the vehicle that was going to be the new Mustang as the Probe. It lasted two generations, but the Mustang soldiers on."
"Microsoft got roasted when they announced Kinect and always-online were required for the Xbox One. Took all the momentum they had from the 360 era and put them miles behind Sony."
"Sonic having human teeth."
"I just immediately pictured teeth in a Sonic milkshake and had a horrified reaction before my brain caught up to you meaning the character."
"Very recently, T-Mobile. A company that 10 years ago called itself the Uncarrier by making a series of pro-consumer changes to its plans and the previous CEO built almost a sort of cult of fans of the company. Then T-Mobile acquired Sprint and got a new CEO."
"A couple of weeks ago, T-Mobile internal documentation revealed it was going to automatically upgrade customers on old grandfathered plans up to new plans, which were more expensive. Customers would have to call in to opt out of the change. 'They weren’t raising customers’ rates, they were moving them to better plans.'"
"Well, major tech news got ahold of that, and then even some local news stations, and T-Mobile quietly 'clarified' a week later via internal communications that only one percent of their customers would be affected."
Coming Together in Hate
"Anyone remember the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad when she solved police brutality?"
"Those moments are precious. There are a few things these days that bring everyone on the Internet together. That was one of those things. We all hated the Pepsi ad that solved police brutality."
"That ad had it all. Pandering, ignorance, arrogance, and talking down to their audience."
"And a Kardashian."
With Every Purchase
"I couple of years back a local Detroit area car dealership decided the best way to celebrate MLK day was to give away free car alarms with every purchase."
"Nobody liked that."
A Sale Gone Too Well
"Hoover UK offering two free flights to America if you spend £100 on their products. They anticipated that people would spend a lot more than the minimum required which would cover the approximately £600 value of the tickets."
"When the company was deluged with purchases around the £100 mark, they reneged on the offer, which prompted a very expensive lawsuit. The fallout was so bad that the UK division of the firm was sold to a rival company."
New Drink, Who Dis?
"After the relations disaster, the public clamored for the decision to be reversed, and Coca-Cola released 'Coke Classic.'"
"Coke Classic soon had an even higher market share than Coke did before the public relations fiasco, and a new theory made the rounds: that Coca-Cola deliberately made these decisions, simply to gain publicity, and increase market share."
"The reaction from Coca-Cola’s executives was, 'We aren’t that smart, and we aren’t that stupid.'"
A Tweet Turned Sexist
"Burger King stating that 'Women Belong in the Kitchen.' What they were TRYING to say was that they wanted more diversity. People didn't see it that way, and in the end, they had to issue an apology."
The Downfall of an Incredible Publication
"Here’s one there should be a public outcry about."
"Disney bought National Geographic and controls everything it does. This is the last year the iconic magazine will be available. I’m incensed."
(The writer of this article is equally incensed.)
Predicting the Future
"I feel like whatever YouTube is cooking up lately will be the next one."
"Tech companies sure know how to kill off highly popular and profitable apps, super quick. It’s interesting to watch it happen in real-time. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, all losing tons of followers and destroying their own stock."
It's easy to see how all of these mistakes resulted in huge backlash, sometimes at the total expense and downfall of the business.
But some of these mistakes were made by companies that are still huge today, and to a certain extent, that's kind of surprising.