The Worst Dates Ever
There are some dates that are so disastrous, they’re unforgettable. When it comes to the dating game, these Redditors struck out big time—but at least they were left with great stories to tell.
A Crash Course In Romancea woman sitting in a car with a steering wheelPhoto by Jan Baborák on Unsplash
We met online and agreed to meet at a diner we both knew. I got there first. But the night took a horrifying turn the moment she arrived. Just after pulling in, she hit the gas instead of the brake, drove into the curb, then hit a light pole which fell over and landed on a parked van.
No one got hurt but she was pretty embarrassed. Never heard back from her.
I matched with this guy on Tinder and he offered to take me out to dinner. I thought that sounded nice, so later that night he picked me up. We were driving and he asked me where I wanted to go. I told him I was fine with anything. BIG MISTAKE.
He said, "Okay then," and pulled into Subway. He then told me that he wasn't hungry, but that I should eat! So he stood outside of the Subway and watched while I went in and got myself food. At this point, I was already mentally done but I wanted to see how much worse it would get. Spoiler alert: it got so much worse.
So I'm sitting in the car with the stupid freaking sub on my lap, and he decided that it was a great idea to drive around, specifically through a dark, isolated ravine that was nearby. He drove for about 10 minutes into the ravine, parked the car next to an abandoned tennis court and said, "Okay, you can eat now”.
I was just thinking, "I really don't want to die here," so I choked down the soggy sub while he stared at me. The second I was done, he pulled the car out and drove me back home. I was so grateful to make it home in one piece that it took me several days to process how screwed up the entire date was.
But here’s the cherry on top: at 2 am that night, he came back to my house uninvited, carrying a bag full of stale donuts, and asked me if I wanted to sleep with him.
No Means No
After a first date of dinner and a movie, he asked if I’d like to “have some fun” and took off his pants. I said “No”. He apologized for overstepping himself and I told him, “Hey, I totally understand and it’s okay!”
Now here’s the confusing part...he took my word “okay” as consent for “I totally want to do it now”. So he immediately took off his pants again. It was so awkward when I explained it was still a no.
Just Can’t Catch A Breakman and woman talking in front of gray tabletop inside shopPhoto by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Back in college, I met this girl and asked her if I could take her out to dinner. She said yes. I was ecstatic. Well, then I had to figure out where to take her to give her an idea of who I am and what I'm about. So I tried to do something that was thoughtful.
I've learned that there are two types of gifts: expensive and thoughtful. If you can't do expensive, which I couldn't, then you'd better go hard on the thoughtful. This was taking place in the southern US, but she was a freshman from Pennsylvania. I started thinking about things that be new and interesting to her. The answer came to me in a flash: Bojangles!
I would take her to Bojangles. It's cheap, it used to have fairly decent food, but most of all it's southern, and we'd be able to discuss regional differences in food and culture. Of course, it's also fast food. Really crappy fast food.
The evening of the date arrived. I drove her to the place and talked all about fried chicken and the South and tea and how it must be different from the North. We got there and ordered at the register, then moved down to pick up our tray of food. We waited. And waited.
I tried to make some small talk. You know, the small talk you make when something could interrupt your conversation at any moment...Then we waited some more. Finally, my dinner (fried chicken) was on the tray. The drinks were on the tray. Her sandwich was not.
So we stood there and stood there with the silence growing more and more awkward. Minutes rolled by that felt like ages. Finally, an employee noticed us standing there and said, "Did you need something?" I said yes, that we needed her sandwich.
The employee turned around and grabbed the sandwich from the place it had been sitting THE WHOLE TIME WE'D BEEN STANDING THERE and put it on the tray. It had been there since the beginning. Not a great start.
I picked up the tray and started walking back to a table with her. But there was an issue. Bojangles used to have the best sweet tea, so I always got a large. The cups they use for the larges are the kind that are smaller at the bottom, so they'll fit in your cup holder in your car.
That's great for a car, but NOT so great for balancing them on a tray. It fell over. Fortunately, it fell over onto the tray, but not before knocking her drink off of the tray onto the floor. She had gotten the smaller drink, which came in the waxed paper cup instead of the plastic cup that the larges are in.
That's important, because it means that when her cup hit the ground at about a 30-degree angle, the cup crushed and LAUNCHED the liquid inside out like a cannon. Onto her foot. Drenching her in Pepsi or Coke or some soft drink.
Being gentlemanly, I went and got her a new drink. I got back to the table and started trying to eat. I had ordered fried chicken, which I realized would mean that I had to eat with my fingers, which was stupid on a first date.
Not wanting to look dumb(er), I decided I'd try to avoid eating with my fingers by using the plastic cutlery provided by the store. This would have been a fine idea if not for the fact that Bojangles only provides you with a spork. Not a fork, not a spoon, not a knife. A plastic spork.
I'm trying to pry the chicken off the bone with this plastic spork and it's going nowhere. I can't get the chicken off the bone. I dug in a little deeper and really pulled, which bent the spork back a little, which served as a spring to launch my chicken across the table. I actually caught it before it could hit the floor.
I remember thinking to myself, "Well, just enjoy this chicken because this date is going NOWHERE”. I decided to just forget it and eat the dang chicken with my fingers. She was obviously not going to be going out with me anymore, so I decided not to worry about impressing her, just try to get out of the situation without looking any dumber than I already did.
I reached down and pulled off a nice piece of chicken with my fingers….and I missed my mouth. Seriously. I jammed the chicken onto my face. I don't know how I missed it, but I did. I just missed. Which of course smeared chicken grease all over my cheek. Oh, but it doesn't end there.
The girl was looking at me like she was waiting for me to tell her, "It's just a prank, bro!" I felt so dumb. We finished eating in silence. Finally, I said, "Well, let me take you back to your dorm”. I gathered up all the trash on the tray, walked over to the garbage can, and accidentally threw the whole thing into the trash. All of it, cups, the spork, napkins, THE TRAY. All of it.
I looked at the girl, she looked at me, and we both ran to the car. I've had some other bad dating experiences, but this one took the cake. I also remember being shocked when the car started when we were leaving. After the night I'd had, I was fully expecting to have to walk several miles back to campus in the dark.
A Brutally Honest Red Flag
Working in bars and restaurants, I've been able to witness some absolute doozies. And boy does this one take the cake.
So, it's a fairly quiet night and it's pretty early, and I have a reservation for 6 pm for two people. A young guy shows up for that reservation about 10 minutes early. He tells me he's very nervous, as he's on a first date, and hasn't been on many of them, all that kind of jazz. It was kinda sweet, really.
Anyways, I seat him, and the girl arrives, like, 30 minutes late. She then proceeds to get extremely inebriated. About halfway through the meal, though, she answers her phone, takes the call, and starts talking about her date in front of her date, saying stuff like, "He's not really my type, I don't exactly like him but I figured I had nothing else planned tonight so why not".
The young man looks super discouraged, pays his bill, and leaves. Luckily, he didn’t let that date discourage him. He's a nice lad, I've seen him a few times at the bar I work at now.
My worst date was my first-ever online date. We had been chatting on a dating website and agreed to meet at a cafe. I showed up about 15 minutes early. She calls me and says she is going to be a little late. I say “no big deal”. 25 minutes later, she calls me again and says she is going to be late as she locked herself out of her apartment.
I wait and wait. At this point, it's an hour after the agreed-upon time. I see a woman who matched her picture enter the cafe. Before I can go up to meet her, my phone rings. I picked it up, and she proceeds to shout at me, "Where the heck are you? Is this some sort of prank?" I tell her that I am at a table in the back of the cafe.
My first online date was informative, as I learned why some women only post pictures of their faces. She was extremely overweight. Furthermore, she was only in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. But all this is minor compared to what happens next.
After making some small talk, I ask her how her day was going. She asks if I really want to know. I mistakenly say yes. She launches into a rant about how she got fired from her last job because people were plotting against her, and a new job she signed up for was just a scam that stole her credit card information.
She also just got out of an abusive relationship, and her 25-year-old sister was abandoning the family to move to New York City. And on top of all that, she was just kicked out of school because people said she was plotting to kill someone, but she swears she wasn't. "People are always plotting to get me, it seems".
I was too frozen to leave at that moment and stayed for about another hour trying to make the most awkward small talk ever.
Are You Afraid Of The Dark?woman in white crew neck t-shirt sitting on black couchPhoto by LexScope on Unsplash
Before I got engaged, I was casually dating. I started chatting with this guy from high school—he was good looking and I figured I’d give it a shot with him. We were supposed to go out on a date, but I didn’t feel like getting all dressed up so I suggested he come over to my place and we could Netflix/chill.
He comes over and everything is cool until we sit in the living room to watch Netflix. I sit on my couch, and he does too. I had a corner lamp on in the room. He said, “We should turn off all the lights”. I’m like eh, the corner light is fine! I personally didn’t want to be in the pitch-black dark.
But then he gets up, creeps over to the corner light, stands with his back completely against my wall, and begins to flicker the light slowly on and off…Next to the corner is the doorway into the kitchen. He is literally not saying a word, just flickering the light off and on.
So I say, “You’re creeping me out, lol, please sit”. And he says, in between flickers, “Why...are....you... afraid... of... the... dark”. He then shuffles behind the doorway so I can only see HALF of his face and body. He has his arm reach around the doorway so he can still control the light.
He then begins giggling like a little kid and continues to flick the light on and off. Needless to say, no more dates after that.
Dine And Dash
We were both broke, so we went walking around this cute, teeny tiny country town near us, and then got McDonald's to eat in the car so we could chat some more. He almost immediately starts pressuring me to go sleep with him because he bought me a cheeseburger, so I owe him, he says.
He starts getting pushy, and I say, okay, but let's go purchase some protection from this gas station that's on the other side of town. I drove for this date, so I take us to the gas station and tell him to go get the stuff while I wait. I knew exactly what I had to do.
I wait for him to get in the door and go a bit farther into the store before I drive off, leaving him stranded in this tiny gas station in the days before cell phones got popular, in a tiny country town with no bus service, no ride shares, and everything shuts down by 6 pm.
I know from mutual friends he made it home, but they already knew why he'd been ditched at the gas station, so no one cared about his whining about it.
Met a guy at a professional night out. He seemed interesting. He invited me out for Chinese food and a movie, but insisted I come by his house first to meet his four dogs, because not liking his dogs would be a deal-breaker. Cool, I love dogs.
I follow directions to his house, which is a mobile home with a small, fenced yard. So the dogs must be little, I think. NOPE. There were four large, mannerless dogs living inside this mobile home and the smell is completely encompassing.
Turns out "dinner and a movie" meant watching one of the thousands of VHS tapes and DVDs he owned while he tried to get the clothes off me, while four big dogs bounced around. I declined his kind offer of an incredible time in the bedroom and got out of there.
My clothes went directly into the washer and my car smelled like dog for days.
Showing Off His Creepy Sidewoman in maroon long-sleeved shirt holding fork over friesPhoto by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash
I once browned out at a club and remember briefly meeting a guy in a suit. The next day, I woke up to a text from Willis, the guy in the suit. Turns out we both didn't really remember each other. Over text, he seemed nice enough and we both thought it'd be a funny experience if we went on a date.
We met up for lunch and upon meeting him, I didn't really have much hope for a second date. He was kind of awkward and tried a little too hard to stunt. But whatever, he seemed like a nice guy. We sat down for pizza and started getting to know each other.
I told him I was studying public policy and was delighted when he asked what kind of policy I wanted to focus on (most people don't really care). I went on a whole rant about how much I wanted to make education policy better because I thought education had the potential to dramatically change lives, especially for those not born into much.
After I finished my rant, he says, "That's cool but I don't really believe in education for low-income people because when I grow up, I want maids and butlers and, like, someone has to do that”. I responded, "Some people have that viewpoint," and started to look for ways to end the date. But the worst was yet to come.
After we finished eating, I made up an excuse to leave an hour earlier than planned. He asked if I really had to go and said, "I should just kill you and keep you with me”. Smooth. I told him he probably shouldn't joke about that. He responded, "I would bury your body right there haha”.
The Secret Ingredient
I went on a blind date with a lady who wouldn't stop picking at her scabs. She just made a pile out of them on the restaurant table. I excused myself to use the washroom and when I came back my soup was there, but the pile of scabs wasn't. No, I didn't eat the soup.
What’s My Name?
I went out with a guy from work who I didn't know much about. He turned out to be awful in many ways and was intoxicated when I showed up. The lowlight of the night was when he started heckling the small cover band that was playing in the bar.
The guy on the mic said, "I'll give you 10 dollars out of my own pocket if you can tell me this girl's name" and—you guessed it—he literally blanked on my name in front of a room full of people. But here’s the kicker: The next day he texted me saying, "You can try again,” as if I was the one who blew it.
The Babysitterboy in black crew neck t-shirt sitting on white bedPhoto by Matthew Osborn on Unsplash
I'd been talking to this guy, and we finally decided to go on a date. He said he'd take me out for dinner and drinks. He offered to pick me up after work, so I said okay. He sent me a text saying "WE'RE" on the way. I immediately asked, “Who is we??”
Well, he's a single father, and his sister was supposed to be watching his four-year-old son, but something came up. Uh...Okay, I still went along with it. So he said he wanted to go home to shower first since he was in his work clothes.
We got to his house and he showered and fell asleep for like four hours while I hung out with his child who smacked me in the face TWICE. Luckily, after I told him not to do that anymore, we ended up getting along and having fun.
Turns out, he's a sweet kid. The guy finally woke up and we ordered pizza. I took an Uber home. I would have left before he woke up, but I didn't want to leave his kid alone.
Get My Good Side
I met someone online. I live in a mid-size city, and he lived in a small town about 40 minutes away. He asked if I would drive to him, which I wasn't wild about since there's not much to do in his little town and since we're both men and his town is very conservative, but I went with it.
He spent most of the date going on and on about conspiracy theories he believes in (all major politicians and celebrities are Illuminati satanists run by the Catholic church, etc). But the most unsettling part? He literally faced 45 degrees away from me the entire time, making sure I could only ever see him in profile.
Like, he sat sideways in his chair at dinner and always turned to the side while he was standing. At one point I stepped around into his field of view so we could look at each other, and he just immediately turned another 45 degrees.
Let’s Never Speak Of This Again
I'm cringing even thinking about this date and it happened about 12 years ago...So we went for food and a few drinks, it was going great, and we were getting on really well. We started walking back to the train station and I felt my stomach cramp. I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me.
I try not to panic and tell myself I'll go to the toilet on the station platform. We get to the platform and the toilets are out of order, the cramps and spasms are getting quite bad now and I'm starting to sweat a little. I'm trying to keep up the conversation with my date but all I can think is that I need to not poop myself in front of them.
The train arrives and we both get on, I can't bring myself to go in the tiny train toilet when I know it's going to be baaaad, so I make excuses to my date and say that I have to head home instead. My stop was only a few in, so I quickly say goodbye and exit the train.
The cramps, sweats, and pain are horrendous by this point, so as I exit the train I pick up my speed and do a jog/shuffle across the platform. I trip over my own feet and land on the platform concrete. The impact of hitting the deck belly-flop style meant that everything I'd been holding in came out.
I mortifyingly looked up to see my date staring out of the train window, looking at me as the train passed. We never called each other, we both knew what went down at that station.
It All Came Crashing Downwoman rock climbing inside buildingPhoto by yns plt on Unsplash
This happened to a close friend. Her date brought her to the local rock-climbing gym which he frequents. She said she'd climbed before and seemed pretty fit.
She fell and broke her arm within a half hour of being there.
I met this guy at a coffee place. He was nice and we met for coffee once more and then met for dinner at a bar. We were sitting at the bar, and I had turned to get the bartender’s attention. He leaned over—and did the unthinkable. He straight up licked my face, from chin to temple. I was visibly shook.
So he tried to playfully poke me to tone my "what the heck" face down and I asked him to stop. He then leaned in and whispered, "I'll just poke your sleeping body later"…I made him leave. I walked him to his car and had a bouncer stand by the door and wait for/watch me.
I received several messages a few days later. He was concerned he hadn't heard from me and was going to "stop by my parents later to see if I was ok”. I never took him to or spoke to him about my parents’ house/address. I told him I would call the authorities if I ever heard from him or saw him again.
Thankfully, I never heard from him again.
Signs From Above
We went for a walk, got a bit frisky rolling down a grassy hill, and just went at it right there behind a Mormon Church. First, a Mormon spotted us and told us we can’t do that there and just creepily watched us get dressed.
So we went elsewhere, at which point we both complained about not finishing. And the next spot we chose ended with about 30 mosquito bites on my behind, two on my junk, and she rolled over onto dog poop and cried that it was only on her.
"Go get a room," God said.
Money Matterswhite ceramic table and chairs with glasswarePhoto by Matthieu Huang on Unsplash
He took me to an Italian restaurant. After we ordered he got a phone call. He makes a small chitchat with the person on the other line. Then he says, “Mom, I know, I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. Mom! I'm here with my girlfriend. I'll tell you how much the bill was afterward”. Two things wrong with that.
One, it was a first date, and I was NOT his girlfriend. Secondly, he lived with his mom (fine…I can deal with that) and his mom micromanaged all of his money—to the point of calling during dinner to see what kind of money he was spending. It was super creepy and really weird.
I saw him one more time to confirm he was a strange ranger and broke it off.
Running Him Ragged
I was the cause of a bad first date. I grossly underestimated how long it would take him (I’m a woman) to hike seven miles. I had to call a friend to get the ranger hotline to let them know we would still be on the trail after 9 pm when the gates closed.
By the last three miles, he was giving pep talks to his legs and threatening to eat the frogs that were hopping on the trail. I had to use my phone to light his way because it was super dark and he didn’t have his. Sorry, dude. You were a really nice guy. I didn’t mean to walk you to the point of collapse.
I met a girl online and we started talking. Everything was grand. She and I texted often and seemed to be hitting it off well. So we meet and start having dinner. Everything is good except she just seems a bit off.
We order a pitcher of margaritas. We each have one and mid-sentence she just stops talking and stares at her hands. Just...looking at them. I ask if she's ok and she says, “Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just really tipsy”. I say “Really? We've only had one drink”.
She says then, “Oh, I've been drinking all day”. Now, I stop and think about past conversations. She texted me a lot saying, "Hey I'm a little tipsy walking home, keep me company”. I start thinking this might be a trend with her. She then proceeds to faceplant into the table. I think she's joking because it was so exaggerated.
I laugh and realize she isn't moving. I tap her and wake her and I call for the check, which was a looooot more than I'd figured. She then asks if I could walk her home. I said I would as she was in pretty rough shape. We start walking more and more and then I ask how much farther. She says another mile.
So we walk some more and finally get to her place. She offers me some water and then asks if I want to stay. I politely declined and she angrily kicked me out. So, that was that. I had to use a GPS to find my way back to my car.
Drama Kingman wiping his tearsPhoto by Tom Pumford on Unsplash
This is technically a breakup, but it happened on a date. I tried to break up with him in private in the car. He said he needed a pause on the conversation, took us into a restaurant, then proceeded to burst into tears in front of everyone.
The best bit is that a few weeks later, he came into my work pretending that we hadn’t broken up and I had to break up with him again...while he cried...in front of his sister who was my co-worker...
Telling Tall Tales
I got the friend call bail-out one time. The girl had to go to the bathroom right in the middle of the date so I knew it was coming. She kept talking once she got back for a few minutes. Her story was rather impressive, though.
She didn't stick me with the “my friend needs help” act. She told me that a bus crashed, and she had to get back to the hospital because there were multiple deceased kids. That was interesting.
My first date was my worst date. After an excruciatingly long car ride listening to him discuss his love of clubs and bottle service, we get to the restaurant he refers to as "enough of a hole-in-the-wall for a girl like me”. After ordering he says he needs to check his bank account, followed by him telling me to cover dinner (I'm fine with paying, just maybe ask politely).
Then he, and only him, spoke for the rest of the dinner, explaining how the earth is flat and he is going to be a senator on Mars in 10 years, so any woman who seriously dates him will need to be supportive. Afterward, since he drove, he dragged me to a club.
Upon him uttering, "This is going so well!" I explained to him that it, in fact, was not, given that I had yet to even have the chance to speak. He then asked him to list examples. After saying this was the worst date I ever experienced, he sat down next to me and asked, "So we can be friends who possibly become more?"
I promptly called an Uber. He texted me asking me on a date every day for a week straight until I finally blocked the number.
Shortchanged By The UniversePeople Share The First Date Fails That Were Total Deal BreakersPhoto by Chewy on Unsplash
I arrived early at the coffee shop because I was nervous. When I parked, I realized I forgot my wallet at home. Mind you, the coffee shop was 30 minutes from home, and we were supposed to meet in 10 minutes.
So I scrounged around in my car for loose change. Found $2 in quarters, nickels, and dimes. I hurried in and bought the cheapest coffee I could. She comes in, confused that I already got something, and orders her own—very gentlemanly of me not to offer to pay with the rest of the nickels and pennies in my car, right?
We sit outside, with the setting sun in my eyes, but I'm too proud to move so the sun is blinding me the entire hour we are there. Honestly, the conversation was pleasant, but at the end, I shifted my weight on this wooden chair I was sitting on…and heard a loud CRACK.
Sure enough, the chair was broken. I know I’m a large dude, but this just had to happen now? I wasn’t surprised when I didn't get a call back from that date.
Well, That One Backfired
I haven't had many dates but the worst—and funniest—was from Tinder. The plan was to start at my house as a double date then, and if it went well, we'd split up and go out.
It never got to the last part because he took a dump in my toilet, blocked it with toilet roll, got embarrassed when my friend went in, and left. Oh, and he forgot his jacket in the rush so got one of his friends to come and get it the next day.
I ask what he does, and he says, "I don't like to brag about my job, you know the fact that I save lives every day”. He was a doctor, and he said that with no sarcasm. Then he gets angry because he asked me out on a dating app five years before our date and I didn't respond to his message immediately.
I tell him it was an old account I never logged into he says, "Goes to show girls are so fickle…” And the icing on the cake? He admits he actually has strep throat and "I actually shouldn't be on a date right now”. Gross.
Third Time’s The Charmwoman in black long sleeve shirt sitting on red chairPhoto by Vladimir Fedotov on Unsplash
In my sophomore year of high school, I wanted to go see a movie with my date. At the first theater, they asked for ID for the first time ever. I wasn’t 18 and couldn't get tickets. At the second theater, the movie was canceled after the AC broke and the heater reached 95 degrees.
The third theater didn't have seats next to each other. She still wanted to watch it, so we sat in DIFFERENT ROWS. Unsurprisingly, there was no second date.
A String Of Bad Luck
There's honestly no way for me to say which date is worse. I've had many bad dates, but these really take the cake. I went on a date with someone that seemed normal until she revealed that she was convinced we were all part of the matrix.
Another person I dated was a biter. I had to go to work and see my family with scars and bruises on my neck because she bit and yanked. I thought I was gonna die. And one date abandoned me at a club because I was out of my introverted comfort zone.
I walked home, then ended up peeing my pants because I was wasted and didn't really care as I was going through a depressive episode. So, as you can see, my dating life has never been easy.
Is That My Ride?
I once was asked out by the mate of some friends. He asked for my number and called to ask me to dinner. He asks if I mind if he picks me up in his work vehicle. I have been in the corporate world for a while so I'm thinking it’s a company car, zero drama. Looking back on it, I realize I should have asked what he did for a living.
The night arrives, he turns up...in a garbage truck. But wait, it gets better. I decide “Ah well, he did ask and I said yes”, so we go out for dinner. I can only assume he was insanely nervous because he proceeds to get inebriated—to the point that he asks me if I can drive the garbage truck home.
Now, this thing has four gear sticks. I can only drive an automatic. So this numpty drove me home, in a garbage truck. Then asks if he can stay the night.
There was no second date...
Playing With Firewhite candles on black holderPhoto by Anne Nygård on Unsplash
My first date was definitely my worst date. The girl started lighting matches, would put them out with her fingers, then eat the burnt matchstick head.
Just Watch Me
My worst date was at boarding school, on a college campus. We were both straight-edge dweebs, so we went to a party at the student center together. He got bored in about 15 minutes, so we snuck off into the building together. I thought it was gonna be for some, like, making out and stuff? No.
He found a computer lab and made me watch him play League of Legends for two hours while he tried to explain the game to me. If you meet a hot guy and he's single there is probably a reason.
It Was Like Watching A Car Crash
Online, her profile picture was cute. We had about four or five normal conversations before we decided to go to the movies. Now, I hate taking dates to the movies because this minimizes conversations and getting to know somebody in person, but I was like, “She’s cute, what’s the worst that can happen”?
Now, let the record show she chose the time of the movie and what time I was picking her up, so it's not like she had no idea that she had to use the bathroom. The movie theater was about 15 mins from her house. As soon as she got in my car, she seemed intoxicated, threatened to kick-fight me if I tried anything funny. This all happened within the course of 10 minutes.
On the tenth minute she said "pull over," so I did. I couldn't believe what she did next. She got out of my car on a sort of busy highway street and proceeded to take a dump within eyeshot…it was one of those times where it's hard to look away. When my brain registered what was going on I leaned over, closed the passenger door, and drove away.
The Double Date Disasterbowling ball going to hit bowling pinsPhoto by Michelle McEwen on Unsplash
So for starters, this was my first date. First date ever. I had no frame of reference for this, but I had just turned 16 and the guy had been cute at school, so the bar was really low. He somehow managed to limbo himself under it.
I didn’t want to go on a date without another couple because I have no trust in people. He had a big friend group and I knew all of them, so he assured me this wouldn’t be a problem. When I got to his house, the person he’d asked to double with us was...his aunt, who he apparently lived with.
She was 21, I was 16, already great. Her date showed up and he was not aware it was a date. He thought they were just hanging out, not chaperoning her awkward little nephew and his new love interest. He was Polynesian. She made Hawaiian haystacks.
He’d never seen those before, but he walked into the house to the scent of badly burned rice because she couldn’t cook. He saved the rice, everything else was straight out of a can, it was great. They hadn’t planned anything, so they decided to throw blades with us in the backyard.
I did better than my date, he was upset, then his aunt nailed him in the behind with an airsoft BB and he was REALLY upset. To salvage things, his aunt suggested we go bowling. I was wearing ballet flats, so I had to wear his weird too-big 2010 teenage nerd socks, which I already had too many questions about that I didn’t want answered.
So we headed out to go bowling, but not before he tried to reclaim his teenage masculinity by squashing a spider on the wall... by kicking it, and kicking his leg right through the wall along with it. His leg got stuck. His aunt had to help him. I was not impressed.
Finally, we get to the bowling alley and walk in and we’re all really good…but then it gets really awkward because the manager is his aunt’s recent ex. So eventually the date ends, and he tries to kiss me in the back seat of his aunt’s car with both the aunt and her date watching. She cheered.
I’d like to say that I didn’t go on another date with him, but this wasn’t even the worst date I had in high school.
He stuck his fingers in my dessert, licked his fingers, and did it again!! I ordered a lemon meringue pie and offered for him to try some. He said “no” only to then proceed to say, “Actually, that looks good". Then he sticks his fingers in for a taste. Yuck!
A Night To Remember
Back in the day, I was on extended leave and was going through some rough times. So I went to Colombia to learn Spanish. I was out with some guys from the Spanish school and spotted this absolutely stunning woman. I knew I had to ask her out, even though my Spanish was still pretty basic.
So, I went ahead, asked her out, and to my surprise she said yes. One day later, the day of the date, I didn't feel so well but I decided to go ahead, I was so excited. So I went there, picked her up and we went to a nice restaurant. Afterward, we went for a walk on the beach—yep, sounds cheesy but it's true.
Right then, I started to feel really bad, becoming dizzy and all. That’s when it happened. I had to throw up—not normally, but with all the power my body could give. I don't remember lots about it, apparently, I fell unconscious and woke up at the hospital.
To my surprise, my date was sitting right next to me, in training clothes since I puked all over her. She was really worried and just said that we hadn’t had the chance to finish our date. This year, we're getting married.
He Got Gassedwhite bed sheetPhoto by Emma Dau on Unsplash
My worst date started as a total high school thing: a girl wants to set up a date at her place while her parents are gone for the weekend on vacation or something. So I agree to it, we're having a good time, everything's going well.
It’s starting to get late, we're in bed together, and she totally passes out. She’s out cold, snoring, it’s like 3 am and I'm still awake. Then, she starts moving around on the bed a little…and she lets this toot rip like I've never heard.
It started and it just kept going....and going. At first, I thought maybe it was her little old dog. It wasn't...then it hits me and oh my god, it’s so rank. I pull up my shirt to cover my nose like a mask and in my mind, I'm thinking what the heck did she eat?
To top it all off, she then made this little noise of relief when it was finally over. I couldn't take it. I slipped my pants and socks and shoes on real gently so as not to wake her. As quietly as possible I walked out, down the stairs, and right out the front door. Luckily, she lived in my neighborhood and it wasn't a long walk home.
Of course, the next day she asked me where the heck I went and why but I didn't have the heart to tell her, I figured it would be too embarrassing.
I’m taking a girl to the movies and she asks, "Can my best friend come too?" There goes my chances but trying to be nice, I say, “Of course you can!” She shows up with her friend, who is indeed a guy.
This is when I find out that it’s her one and only ex, but they remained best friends and nothing is happening between them. I think, “Well, this date is ruined, but let’s try to salvage it". I go to pay for our tickets (mine and hers), even when she offered to pay for hers.
After buying, she turns around and buys her ex’s ticket…We actually got along fine and they were nice people, but it was like a tug of war for the rest of the night fighting for her attention. Of course, I lose since they are best friends.
When I get home, the guy adds me on Facebook, and he proceeds to tell me don't bother trying to date her, she's a terrible girlfriend. I finally got her alone for one more movie, but it all just sort of fell apart. I actually really liked her, but clearly, I had no effect on her. Oh well, I guess.
Take note, future daters: movie dates are a bad idea.
Perhaps not my worst date, but definitely the weirdest. I was on a date with this girl who seemed great: good-looking, funny, shared similar interests. It was our first date, and we were sitting in some bar that she's a regular at, discussing ourselves when it starts getting to the basic first date questions.
"So, you said you work in an office but is that what you really want to do?" I asked, "Did you go to school for it?" "Actually…” She says, reaching into her bag, "I'm currently going to clown school”. I kid you not, this girl had pulled out a red freaking clown nose and put it on.
Now, if this was our third date, I would have been less shocked. However, we had been talking for a week and this was the first date—we were supposed to IMPRESS each other. But she was good-looking, and I wanted to hook up.
So I said, "Oh! That's so cool. I didn't know clown school was actually a thing”.
"Oh, no, it's competitive!"
"I had no idea. So, are you in clown university, clown college, clown technical school?"
And then she took my joke as an attack. For a clown, she had a terrible sense of humor.
Equality At Any Costperson holding sliced pizza with red saucePhoto by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash
I went on one date with a guy I wasn’t physically attracted to because he seemed nice. He spent the ENTIRE date bragging about how much money he made. We shared a pizza. I had one slice, he had six.
When the bill came, he said he’d appreciate it if we split it evenly “because that’s how things work these days”. He tried to make out with me when he dropped me off at home and my god, his breath... it was like he ate a dead raccoon.
A few years ago, I went on a coffee date with a nursing student who described in vivid detail how he and his ex-girlfriend milked an old lady into a toilet at a party. According to him, that was not even the first time or party where he had milked her, he just happened to do it with his girlfriend that time.
I was mortified and found an excuse to promptly leave. The funniest part was a few days later when he texted me asking to go on a second date—which I ignored—followed by another text the next day that said, "It was the milk story, wasn't it?"
An Awkward Introduction
I got stood up at a cafe. She called and told me an emergency had come up and she wasn't going to make it. I had only been waiting for three or four minutes and wasn’t too upset about it, so I called a friend to see what he was doing.
I ended up meeting him across town at the bar he was drinking at, which is also where he introduced me to my date, who he had just met playing pool there.
An Icy Encounterperson wearing white leather ice skatePhoto by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash
Back in college, I was invited to an ice rink with a girl I liked and some of her friends. I did not know how to ice skate and I did not pick it up very quickly, but I wanted to try and impress her somehow. Well, I hugged the wall the whole time and made a fool of myself.
The highlight was when I saw a flash of light as I fell in front of a group of people. Turns out I had fallen right at the moment someone took a picture, so my failure was immortalized forever. She took me back to my apartment and ended the relationship before it began. But there's a silver lining.
The woman who is now my wife was at that ice rink on that night. We didn't realize we were there at the same time until a year or two into our relationship and she exclaimed, "You were that guy who couldn't ice skate! Yeah, she didn't seem that into you”.
On our second date, he bragged to me: 1) how long he was able to stay on unemployment, 2) how he was always able to talk his mom into letting him come home after she kicked him out, 3) how he basically paid for the $3,000 implants of a dancer, even though he didn't get anything for it.
He also revealed that he got locked up for about four months for pulling a pistol on some teenagers, but he didn't intend to use it. This was a half-brag, not a full brag. It was so strange because he seemed like a nice guy on the first date.
On the second date, with all of that, I was just laughing inside and wondering how I was going to end the date. Turns out it wasn’t a problem because after dinner he had to go and hang with his buddies at the video store.
Laying All Her Cards On The Table
My worst date? She had Crohn’s disease. She takes her pee bag out in the middle of our dinner date and says I need to look at it so I understand what I’m getting myself into. The catheter tube knocked over her drink. It was awful. Poor girl.
Momma’s Boywoman in black tank top covering her face with her handsPhoto by Julia Taubitz on Unsplash
For our first date, he took me to dinner at his mother's…with his brother and the mother’s crazy housemate. After dinner, we watched Iron Chef with all of them while sitting on the floor because there weren’t enough chairs. During the show, his mother was talking to us about using vibrating toys when doing the housework to make it more enjoyable.
And here’s the best part: He didn't even live with his mother. Needless to say, it was our first and only date.
The Ole Switcheroo
My worst date started off as a date and ended up as an MLM pitch. On the plus side, I still have those Cutco scissors and they are decent.
The Stench Of Success
It was my third date with a girl, and we went to a Poison-Def Leppard concert. We weren't eating before the concert and I was starving, so I grabbed a chicken salad sandwich from a gas station before I picked her up.
Halfway through the show, I have to poop. Bad. I run to the can and every toilet is knee-deep in filth. We had VIP seats, so I figured I would wait and hit the VIP bar on the way out. I took a massive dump and made five guys scream about the stench, which made me giggle.
Well, we parked in front, pulled the car out, and sat and waited. All of a sudden, round two hits—and this time it is wet. I was getting stomach contractions every 2-3 minutes, I was death-clinching the steering wheel and sweating like a fat lady in Golden Corral.
I then had an epiphany that if I just tooted a little, I would feel better. Oh, how wrong I was. The soft serve ice cream machine in my shorts exploded and got everywhere. I ran into the woods, finished pooping, and wiped my butt with my wifebeater.
We have been married 12 years now and have three kids.
Didn’t See That One Comingcappuccino on coffee tablePhoto by Ben Moreland on Unsplash
I was 19 or so, sitting at a bus stop bench waiting for the bus to go to work. This stunning woman sits next to me. Not long after, she starts talking to me. We have a pretty good conversation and I build up the courage to ask if she'd like to meet up sometime at a nearby coffee shop.
She says YES! We agree on a day and time then the last thing she says to me before I get on my bus is "It's a date”. I go to the coffee shop at the agreed time and see she is already there. But that's not all. She also has a male friend sitting right next to her.
No big deal, I figure he must be there in case I'm a creep or something. I sit across from her and we order a drink. Then right away she says, "So, what do you think about Jesus,” and pulls out a pamphlet. I reply, "I thought this was a date," and she says something along the lines of "I didn't think you'd show up if it wasn't”.
I ended up leaving right away before she saw me tear up. That was definitely my worst date ever.
Just Pop A Squat
I was in France and having a lovely dinner at a sidewalk cafe with a young lady I met the day prior. But in the middle of our dinner, she did something utterly deranged. She excused herself to use the restroom, got up, walked about ten feet, squatted, and peed in the gutter. Yup, no second date after that.
Reddit user WeirdJawn asked: 'Older Redditors, what do young people get completely wrong about past decades?'
I have no aesthetic or emotional issues with getting older as it certainly beats the alternative, so I freely admit I have reached a certain age.
It's the age of sound effects when I get up from a chair and asking younger people to pick things up off the floor for me.
It's the age of having to use Urban Dictionary daily to understand messages I get from younger friends and relatives.
But as much as I don’t understand their language, music or hobbies, there's a lot they'll never understand about my childhood and adolescence.
I was reading an article by writer Eric Chilton who pointed out Gen X—the generation born between 1965 and 1980 of which I'm a part—was the last to live in a world without the internet, cellular phones and social media.
And those are only a few examples of the paradigm shifting innovations in our lifetimes.
Reddit user WeirdJawn asked:
"Older Redditors, what do young people get completely wrong about past decades?"
As a young person, I was fascinated with the idea my maternal Grandmother lived through the transition from horses to combustion engine vehicles, the inception of commercial air travel, the creation of the motion picture industry and the invention of television.
But I've lived through vinyl LPs and 45s, 8-tracks, cassettes, CDs and digital music players.
If I wanted to see a movie as a kid, I went to a theater—or drive-in—or waited for an often heavily edited version to air on TV. Then cable movie channels were introduced, followed by LP size video disc players, then Betamax and VHS, DVDs, HD and Blu-ray and now?
Digital downloads and streaming services—I haven't been to a theater in years.Giphy
"Up until video rental stores in the early 80's, at school the next day every kid was talking about what was on TV the night before, as every single family was watching tv together every single night."
"With some exceptions, most people watched the same thing as their schoolmates or co-workers, just to be a part of the conversation."
"There's something very isolating about modern media.
"You can be into a TV show, or YouTube series, and nobody else you know has heard of it."
"I'm a fan of aYouTube series—RedLetterMedia—that's pretty popular and very well regarded amongst its fans, and only one of my friends has heard about it.
"Probably just how often you had to accept that you couldn't find out the answer to something."
"If you had a question you could ask your family, maybe your friends, maybe your teachers, and your last chance was the check the library."
"But if the library didn't have the answer, then you just had to accept that you weren't going to get an answer (or you'd have to hope to come across that answer someday in the future)."
"Now you just ask Google and get 10 answers in just seconds."
One & Done
"How on-time you had to be for your favorite shows because there was little to no chance you’d see that same episode again until they (hopefully) did re-runs during summer."
"I remember waiting anxiously for the nightly news to be over so I could watch my favorite TV shows."
"Commercial breaks were just mad rushes for the bathroom, or to the kitchen to get something quick to drink."
"Once it was done, it was gone."
"The happy tears I cried when they finally released The Stand miniseries on DVD about a decade after airing."
"I feel I was in the last generation of this, even though channels were much more prevalent and reruns of everything was the norm."
"I remember rushing off the bus with all my friends because we were absolutely SURE Goku was gonna defeat Frieza this episode. And it was a crap shoot whether or not the driver would be fast enough for us to make it."
"Years later when DVDs started becoming more prevalent, they STILL didn't put shows on collectable media regularly. You couldn't just get an entire season of a show and binge it."
"At most you could find a 'best-of' compilation of five or six of the most popular episodes, and that was only if the show was incredibly popular."
"And what I am describing here was considered 'having it good' compared to older people."
"That it was incredibly common to just not have pictures of events or other things we see as important now."
"Not only did we have entire vacations where no pictures were taken, we could go months without a single picture being taken of any member of our family unless it was particularly notable."
"A trip to St Louis? No pictures. A trip to Disneyland? Maybe a picture at the entry gate or one of the souvenir pictures of us with a character."
"A trip to zoo? No pictures. An average day? Forget about it!"
"Frequently, the only pictures taken were at major holidays like Christmas or on someone's birthday."
"I explained that to my kids the other day."
"What if every picture you took cost a dollar?
"And you don’t know if it’s even good until probably weeks later, as long as the photo lab doesn’t f*ck up processing."
"Or your film or pictures don't get lost in the mail going to or from the developer or they don't send you someone else's photos by mistake."
"You had to plan ahead to take a photo."
"'Did you remember the camera? Did you remember to buy film or flashbulbs?”
So Few Options
"It's an exceptional AMOUNT of media to consume now. In the 90s, you had 3-4 super popular channels, and 4-5 low rated channels. They all showed one show at a time."
"Now we have a dozen streaming services with infinite media options."
"It's becoming increasingly difficult to engage in office conversation because so much content is available, people do not have to stray as far from their interest to consume content they want to consume."
Smoking Or Non?
"They understand restaurants had 'smoking sections' and that bars & clubs were filled with cigarette smoke. But I don't think many understood how pervasive smoking was."
"Non-smoking areas or sections didn’t exist before the 1980s. There were ashtrays and people smoking literally EVERYWHERE."
"Jury boxes had ashtrays in front of every juror. Judge smoked, lawyers smoked, the gallery smoked."
"You smoked on planes, trains, busses, taxicabs, and in all transportation centers."
"You smoked at the library, the PTO meetings at schools, the town hall and all city offices. Hell, you could smoke at the courtyard at my High School as a student."
"You smoked in the elevator and on the escalator. The mall. The grocery store. Sports venues. Doctor's offices. Hospitals. Sitting at your desk at work even if you were in a cubicle or open area."
"The movies. The plays, opera, concerts and every other public performance, people smoked."
"A non-smoker would come home often smelling like smoke. One was constantly surrounded by smoke. It was insane."
"You literally made ash trays as a grade school art project, that’s how common it was."
"Probably under estimating how few choices there were."
"Today, it seems like everything imaginable is available in a variety of sizes, delivered to your door over night."
"Catalogs and mail order had 4-6 week delivery."
"Malls were the best thing ever—all the stores in one place, a wide variety of products and sizes and not downtown."
"And also just how little people knew they were missing out. If it wasn't on network evening television (Channels 2, 4, 7, 9, and 11), or on a store shelf in your town, or in the Sunday newspaper... it simply didn't exist for you."
"If you had an inkling something existed—say, tin foil that comes in sheets instead of one giant roll—you could go around asking people, if you wanted. But you were more than likely to just get a shrug and, 'Why would you want such a thing?'."
"Let's say you were particularly enterprising, so you dial '0' and ask the operator for the number for corporate headquarters of Reynolds Aluminum Foil, if you knew the city it was in. Because there was no internet, and the only way to find a number was by dialing '0' and speaking to a telephone operator."
"But even if you spoke to someone at Reynolds, they had no way to exchange money for goods at that level, and they probably would just tell you they sell it in the Ohio area, and that would be that."
"You went to the market. They have one brand of pancake mix, and no one had ever heard of anything different, and why would you want a different brand, anyway?"
"Then you go to the hardware store, and they carry one brand of paint, and no one had ever heard of any other brand of paint."
"And it was that way for a long, long time."
One For the Road
"How common drinking & driving was."
"Until MADD came along, people did this routinely."
"It's where 'one for the road' originated."
"Yes! When my friends and I had our 18th birthdays in late 1979, the thing to do was to celebrate by driving through Beer Barn, where you could literally drive-through to get beer, wine, wine coolers, whatever."
"Then open them up and drive while drinking. At 18. This was in Texas."
"It also was not uncommon for my dad to drive while drinking when he was taking us wherever at night."
"Zero education on why you should not do that."
Good & Bad
"I am definitely older (born in 1949 so Baby Boomer)."
"What today's young people don't appreciate is how, growing up, we had to invent our own sources of fun."
"There were no video games (which I enjoy playing), just 3 channels on a black-and-white tv (we didn't get color until 1967), and no real entertainment aimed at kids."
"All we could do is interact with each other and play established games like marbles or maybe an organized sport like Little League baseball."
"There was a baseball diamond, overgrown with weeds, across the street from us, but mostly we played in the woods that surrounded us, climbing trees pretending to be pirates or some such.
"I loved the bookmobiles that would visit my street, and I must have read every biography (all bound in blue covers) in my elementary school library."
"It was a different era with many fewer distractions and much more time for sustained imagination."
"Being a different place and time, we developed different skills for interacting with the world and each other than young people do today."
"Was it better? That's hard to say. We tended to have an insular view of our own little world, while today it is hard to escape what it happening everywhere on Earth."
"We had to wait days for a letter to arrive, and we shared a party phone line with our neighbor's phone. That is a far slower pace than today's instantaneous texting culture. (Yes, I do text.)"
"Some things have been lost while others have been gained. That's the way it always will be. Just wait."
In Chilton's article—referenced at the beginning—he stated:
"We [Gen X] will be the last generation to know the world without...
- Cable TV
- Cell Phones
- The internet
- Seat belt laws
- Remote controls for the TV"
What would you add to the list?
We've all gone into at least one business, store, or restaurant that left us completely dissatisfied, and we can understand that sometimes, that's how things work out.
But when we're disappointed by them every single time, we might wonder how that business is still even open to receive customers.
Ready to hear the tea, Redditor Square-Floor8879 asked:
"What company has you shocked that they have not yet gone out of business?"
"On a Wednesday at around 2:00 PM, I received a tap at my door from an elderly woman who wanted to show me a Kirby Hoover."
"Additionally, it appears that door-to-door salespeople will still exist in 2023."
"It’s surprisingly big in B2B (Business-to-Business) sales, as well. Cold-calling on the phone is almost dead, but if you know how to talk with people in person and aren’t afraid of in-person rejection, you can do very well with door-to-door sales."
Are They Really?
"That furniture store that has had the 'Going Out of Business' sale going on for the last four years."
"That’s a whole thing. People will open a store for a year or so and run this kind of going-out-of-business sale and make an absolute killing. Then they’ll dip out and someone else will do the same thing right behind them."
A Constant Reunion
"Classmates.com still trying to charge what you can get for free on Facebook."
"I'll get emails from them: 'John, Mike, Sarah, and Amber want to see what you're up to.'"
"Well, they can all see it on Facebook or Instagram."
A Fading Tune
"Guitar Center. I worked for them for 13 years, they were on the brink of death the whole time."
"I actually just bought something from them for the first time ever. A lot of workers in the store, like every dept had somebody in it. Not that many customers, though."
One Word: McAfee
"I swear, those motherf**kers installed the malware themselves."
"McAfee IS malware."
Physical TV Guides
"TV Guide still exists."
"I see big potential with TV Guide. They could get a lot of traffic and be an amazing source of information if their search engine didn't suck."
"These days, it's so annoying trying to find out what streaming service has that one TV show or movie you want to watch. TV Guide has a 'where to watch' button that will show you what subscription services have it and how much they cost."
"TV Guide, if you're reading this, fix your search engine. You can be the source of information of what and when we watch just like your golden age again."
Affordable Iced Tea
"I hope they don't but Arizona Iced Tea has cost the same my whole life. Good on them."
"They actually just reduced the size from 23oz to 22oz. Fortunately, the 99 cent price holds."
"I'm actually okay with this, to be honest, because I basically have to force myself to finish that last couple of ounces most times."
"All the mattress stores that are somehow across the street from each other and never have any customers but open new locations down the street all the time."
"It's actually crazy going to one. I was mattress hunting last week. While I was there for like two hours, two people showed up and purchased mattresses."
"One for like $2300, and the other for just over $3000. All were financed."
"I had no clue people paid that much for mattresses."
Cheap Claire's Jewelry
"It feels like they have been saying Claire's is on the edge of bankruptcy for 20 years."
"I found myself ordering something online from them a few years back and it still feels like a fever dream."
Sears' Serious Long Game
"Pretty sure Sears is still holding on?"
"Down to only 11 locations left, with plans to close five of them by 2025."
"One of them is near me! In a mall that feels like it has time traveled from the '90s, so that makes sense. It's right near an FYE, which also apparently still exists."
"Man, I absolutely LOVED FYE when I was in middle and high school. Haven’t seen one in a solid 20 years. Granted, I haven’t been to a mall in the better part of 10 years."
Maybe It's an MLM; Maybe It's Mary Kay
"Mary Kay is a MASSIVE business. I also wonder how they survive but there’s a ton of scholarships and research they sponsor in the cosmetic science community. They have a big pull, Mary Kay and Amway."
"Because it's basically a pyramid scheme and they sell their products to wannabe entrepreneurs who are stuck with unsold goods."
A Return Location
"Kohls. Don't get me wrong, I love my Kohl's. But every time I go in there, it feels like 90 percent of the shoppers there are just there to return their Amazon package. Kohls does have some pretty good stuff so I do hope they stay in business (mostly because they are just so convenient for returns)."
"The coupons have so many restrictions anymore that I think they may have doomed themselves. I went in with a 40 percent off coupon and could basically buy their Sonoma brand stuff and that was it."
Questionable Kids Parties
"Chuck E. Cheese’s had its hay day years ago, their business sucks, their shows aren’t that good, and the animatronics are mostly gone at this point. And debt. Lots of it. Surprised they’re still around even though they just filed for bankruptcy three years ago."
A Ghost Town
"One of my favorite stores, but it gets pretty depressing to shop there. You see maybe two employees on the entire floor. Products are often never organized and the fitting rooms are even worse. Clothes just dropped on the floor and no one ever checks how many clothes you go in with or what you truly do inside…"
"Some Macy's locations are better but many are really bad. It feels like a complete ghost town."
"Wells Fargo. Considering all the shady ways they try to harvest cash from their customers, I simply cannot believe anyone does business with them."
These accounts were really eye-opening. Most of these companies weren't on the list for potentially closing because of their business practices, but because of how they treat their customers.
It just goes to show how important it is to foster good relationships with customers, to value them, and to treat them with respect.
With the latest advancements in technology, consumers are faced with the challenge of narrowing their list of products to buy.
The anxiety is only fueled by FOMO–fear of missing out–when they see their friends on social media bragging about the latest gadget that supposedly makes life easier.
But some people can't be bothered with all the fancy gadgets that are at the top of consumer reports as the best product so far in whatever year we're in.
They just prefer sticking to the basics and doing things the old-school way–like clicking on the TV with a remote instead of dictating to it what you want it to do after fumbling around for that elusive mic button to activate the function.
Curious to hear from consumers, Redditor WaterWalsh asked:
"What product no matter how innovative it is do you refuse to buy?"
Some people could do without all the bells and whistles of tried and true basic appliances.
"Smart' Refrigerator. I just need something that keeps my food cold. I don't need it to show me advertisements or what foods I might be out of. I can look for myself."
"Unless it can remind me of the box of fresh spinach that I stacked the yogurt in front of and, therefore, forgot existed, I wouldn't even consider it."
Things Get Heated
"A stove also shouldn’t be connected to the internet and should just be a normal stove."
"My stove has an app so you can set the oven temperature from your phone, when I got it I thought 'ok this might be useful if I want to preheat the oven on my way home or something,' but alas, it proved itself useless, you have to touch your phone to the oven to give it the command, like wft?? I'm already here I might as well just turn on the damn oven."
Get The Picture?
"If I could, I wouldn’t even buy a smart tv. That’s what my Apple TV is for. I just need something to turn on and make a nice picture."
"I intentionally locked out my smart TV because I have a secondary device. It doesn't need to be connected to the mothership. My TCL television probably has zero security, and who knows how many backdoors to circumvent my router."
"All these IoT devices are just great "dumb" tools to use for DDOS attacks by unsavory nation states. Blackberry said this years ago."
Just because products are under a famous person's name doesn't necessarily make them top quality.
Clever Marketing, Poor Product
"I’m Irish and Conor McGregor’s whiskey isn’t really drank over here. It’s very average whiskey with a premium price tag. You could buy far superior whiskey for less. His branding is amazing though."
"It’s the same with his stout. No one in Ireland touches it... Again his branding is amazing and people all over the world are buying in to this sh*t."
Refusing The Socialite Family Brand
"Anything promoted by any kardashian… my curling iron broke so I stopped at target on the way home (This was years ago)… all they had were curling irons with Kardashians on the box - I refused."
These consumers just don't get the hype over these smart devices.
"Folding smartphones. They're expensive as all get out, and I've seen a lot of them develop weird screen issues just through normal use, that are prohibitively expensive to repair. I'll stick to my slab phone."
Personal Home Assistant
"My roommate has one and I f'king hate it."
"My girlfriend has an Alexa in our bedroom and it's the most annoying thing in the world. She uses it to set a morning alarm and it always start spouting the weather and playing sh**ty music that we both hate. She refuses to get rid of it because she comes from a third world country and always dreamed of having 'American-life tech.' Of course, I overlook it because I don't want to be an a**hole, but nevertheless I dread waking up in the morning and hearing the Bezos bot."
Undesirable Communication Partner
"As a general rule, I don't like talking to inanimate objects."
"We got one as a gift, put it in the kitchen."
"1. The little kitchen TV was on and had an Alexa commercial and then our Alexa started talking to the commercial because the woman on TV said "Alexa" and it kinda went back and forth."
"I thought some people broke into the house. Our Alexa (don't ask me how) was playing our neighbors having a fight next door through their Alexa."
"The device lasted about a week before it was donated."
People were getting nowhere fast with these cars of the future.
Out Of Touch
"Cars with touch screens."
"I could stand a touch-screen, so long as it was supplemented with buttons. A car with only a touch screen? Terrible."
"Have one of those at work. Just changing the heat while driving is a risk of traffic accident."
Some Drivers Musk Need This
"I rented a Tesla on my last trip. I have the electric Volvo as a company car, so I was curious what Teslas were like. What a piece of sh*t. Materials are cheap, fit and finish was like my 95 Saturn, and it took forever to figure out how to control everything. Almost every damned thing has to be controlled by the software. Even the wipers, which is really distracting while you're driving. The key card recognizes when you walk up and unlocks the door, however in order to actually drive you have to tap the card on the arm rest. It's so stupid. Oh, and the 'shifter' is where the wipers should be, on the steering column. It's like they went out of their way to make the whole car as different as they could just to do it. I was happy to get back to the Volvo as it's a normal car that happens to have a battery, and a much better product."
Maybe it's because I'm not a gamer, but I personally don't see the need for an iPad.
I love using my iPhone and MacBook Pro to get all my business and social needs in order. Introducing a third option for going about my daily tasks and interacting with social media will only make my head spin.
I've also seen people walking around with their iPads and taking photos with them, which looks ridiculous in my opinion.
I remember thinking to myself after witnessing the bizarre practice, "I will not be that person."
But hey, that's just me.
We all love our pets.
And be it a dog, cat, parrot, or turtle, we all like to think our pet is cuter and smarter than everyone else's.
Most of the time, that is purely owing to our unending love for them.
But every now and again, we might witness our pet do something truly extraordinary, leading us to believe that our pet truly is the smartest animal on earth.
Redditor CoreyMatthews was curious to hear about the times people were truly blown away by the intelligence of their pets, leading them to ask:
"Pet owners of Reddit, what are some examples of your pet doing something that made your realize how intelligent they are?"
Talk About Coordination!
"I watched both my cats sit in the hallway and roll a ball back and forth between them gently and on purpose."
"They both know how to open doors."- TurbulentStep4399
The Real Truth About Cats And Dogs
"I had a cat that learned to turn on my radio so I would think the alarm was going off and get up to feed him."
"He and my dog would also team up on me in various ways."
"The most memorable was when I had gotten a little water pistol to squirt the cat when he got on the kitchen counter."
"I always kept the water pistol in the very back corner of the kitchen counter."
"I got home one day, and the water pistol was chewed to pieces on the floor."
"It was too far back on the counter for the dog to have reached it by herself (and it’s not the sort of thing she would normally have liked to chew on), so the only explanation is that the cat climbed onto the counter, pushed the water pistol across the counter until it fell on the floor, and then convinced the dog to chew it up."- TheBat3
More Than Most People Can Say About Their Children!
"My 6 month old kitten will alternate bringing his mylar ball to me or my husband to throw--taking turns."
"He plays fetch better than my dog did."
"He puts his toys away at bedtime."
"I have a small basket that we keep his toys in."
"At bedtime, I'll tell him, 'Let's pick up your toys' and he will get any toys that hasn't been eaten by the couch and drop them in his basket."
"No hard balls/toys as he can't pick those up with his mouth."
"I pick up those."- Danivellecat playing GIFGiphy
The Female Of The Species...
"I had two Shelties and one large dog bed."
"The female Sheltie did not want to share the bed with her brother, so whenever he was lying on it she would go to the door and start barking like crazy at … nothing."
"He would leap up barking and race to the door to guard the house alongside her and as soon as he got out of the dog bed, she would run back and curl up in the middle of it."
"He never caught on."- NoNefariousness104
Always On The Lookout
"My dog greeted me at the garage door when I got home."
"He then had me follow him to my daughters room, then my sons room, then the front door."
"My mother in law had picked up the kids."
"He was telling me that 'this one and this one are gone and went that way'."
"Let’s go get them!'”- YourFriendInSpokane
Asking Permission Never Goes Unnoticed
"I had a blue heeled mix that was crazy smart."
"Two of many examples:"
"He was occasionally allowed to eat table scraps off of a plate but was never allowed to beg."
"He had to wait until the plate was put on the floor."
"One day I was caught up working on my laptop and had put the scraps from my dinner on the couch on a plate next to me."
"An hour or so went by and I saw him pick up the plate off the couch and put it on the floor so he was allowed to eat it."
"He slept in my room and was getting up in years."
"One night after I was settled in bed he let me know he needed to go outside, thinking an older bladder, I got up to take him out."
"Instead he went to the kitchen and turned to look at me."
"Curious I followed him."
"Same thing , he went to the family room and waited for me."
"When I turned on the light, he went to an end table near the TV where one of my teenagers had left an uneaten piece of fried chicken."
"He stood and stared and it and then turned to me and I swear he asked if he could have it."
"I laughed and took the meat off the bones and put it in the floor for him, after which we both went back to bed."
"How he knew that chicken had been left there is beyond me!"
"I could share dozens of stories like this."
"He was as smart as most humans I know."
"I will miss him forever."- JCKligmanndog human eating GIFGiphy
Peeing With Purpose
"My mom's cat had a urinary infection."
"So he peed a tiny bit in the bathroom sink and waited by it for my mom to see it."- HyliaSerket
Everyone Wants A Little Attention Every Now And Then...
"A small thing, but my cat will paw at my hand when he wants to be petted."
"The first couple times it happened, I didn't think anything of it, until I realized one day that he basically had me trained/conditioned to pet him whenever he nudged or pawed at my hand."- Square-Raspberry560
And You Thought All They Could Do Was Change Colors
"My chameleon will look me square with both eyes and make a chomping movement with his mouth when he’s hungry."
"He’ll also pat at the glass if he wants to come out."
"He’ll hold a grudge, calculate ways to go or get what he wants."
"One of my Boas will only look at me when hungry."
"She had a go at caudal luring whilst doing it the other day."
"Like 'look, dude, I know you bring the food'."
"I’m hungry, look I’m even trying to lure you to give me some food'."
"It worked."- UgglugGiphy
A Kind Gesture Is Never Forgotten
"My brother’s cat, Coconut."
"We live 2,600 miles apart."
"The first time I met her, I gave her a little pink fuzzy kitty toy."
"2-3 years later was the next time I was able to visit her again for the 2nd time ever."
"She immediately disappeared & came back with this filthy, dusty, brown toy that had obviously been hidden away somewhere."
"We dusted it off & it was the toy I had gifted her years before."
"She remembered me."
"My brother said he had never seen the toy again until that day."
"She’s also very precious with her toys & will leave them outside his bedroom door as bribes."- emilyyancey
"When she was a baby I said, 'Go get your toy!' in the same pitch I always do."
"Never trained her with that phrase."
"She went a grabbed her toy and came back."
"I tested her again the next day and the next day."
"She went to her toy pile and brought back a toy each time."
"She picked up the phrase by herself."
"She's also the first dog I've had that looks at planes in the sky when they fly overhead and recognizes dogs on TV even on mute."- Spare-Bread8416
Get The Tissue Ready...
"I have two cats and a dog."
"A little backstory about my dog:"
" I don't know anything about dog training."
"I wasn't even thinking about adopting a dog but it seems like it was one of those things that 'meant to be'."
"My sister found him on the street at a winter night."
"We thought he was lost and there is an owner looking for him."
"Because where I live we have so many strays and you wouldn't see many 'specific breeds', they are just strays and specific breeds have an owner 99% of the time."
"So we took him home and start to search for the owner but it was obvious that poor dog went through some sh*t."
"And we learned about his story from an animal society; that he had a few owners but all of them left him to the streets because he was barking a lot (we haven't heard him barking even once during that time), he was peeing everywhere (he did it once and that was probably because he was nervous of being in a new environment and that was it), he wasn't listening at all (we had 3 cats at that time and I said no one time when he tried to run at them and that was it, never did it again)."
"And we learned that he has been in the shelter twice with big wounds."
"And I said I'm not going to let him go through more, he stays with us."
"He learned how to let me know he needs to go out all by himself."
"He learned to pee on the pads all by himself on the days that I can't take him for a walk."
"He learned to give me my slippers when I come home all by himself because I wear slippers when I get home."
" He learned how to clean his face by watching cats doing it."
" I still don't know how to train a dog other than a few basic stuff."
"He just learns."
"That's been a really long comment."
"So I'm going to leave that how I know my cats are clever for another time."
"Thank you for reading my sweet dogs story."
"I'm glad to have him and I don't know who was lucky about all those; me or him."- LittleBitOff2Daydog pies GIFGiphy
Never underestimate your pets.
As sometimes you have no idea of the things they might see or notice.
Making it all the more important to give them the love and attention they deserve.