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Scorned Lovers Reveal Their Worst Cheating Stories

Scorned Lovers Reveal Their Worst Cheating Stories
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Cheating is one of the worst things a person can do to a loved one. Betraying the trust of someone we are supposed to be committed to on such a fundamental level is truly despicable and heartbreaking, and the users of Reddit blew off some steam by telling the tales of their very worst, no good cheating exes.


We Feel for You

white and blue yacht on sea under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Alina Kacharho on Unsplash

This is so recent (a week ago). I went to the spot I first took her to on the ship we worked on to surprise her, and she was on top of another dude. They looked me in the face and laughed when they saw me.

Congrats, Buddy!

Found out via Facebook a few months after I had broken up with him that he cheated on me. I was still friends with his siblings and parents, and they were tagged in some photos of him. Holding his clearly to-term newborn son. Less than nine months after I broke up with him.

Something Not to Be Thankful For

I'm not on great terms with my family, so I suggested making a roast chicken for the two of us for Thanksgiving. She opted to go to her roommate's family's place—the roommate who I learned she was sleeping with shortly afterward.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

man in red and black striped polo shirt holding gold iphone 6Photo by jaikishan patel on Unsplash

I was at a party with a group of friends. I was standing behind my best friend talking in a group when my friend all of the sudden gets a text. I look at his phone and it's my girlfriend's full name and her asking when he is going to be over. She was supposed to be out of town at her mom's house.

Did He Get an A+?

I caught my boyfriend of two years. He had asked me to proofread his paper on his Mac and the text messenger popped up in the right hand. He was sitting in his bed texting some girl "goodnight, I love you" while sitting right next to me in his bed. I deleted his entire paper, wrote "Who's Marissa?" saved it and told him it looks great and left.

She was his girlfriend of eight years who lived next to his parents two hours away.

A Sudden Change of Heart

I knew he was cheating when he suddenly became concerned about his looks but didn’t want me to look good. He went on a diet, started wearing contacts, and started shaving his pubic hair, which he wouldn’t do for me. Also became distant, had a lack of interest in sex, spent a lot of time on his phone, had weird mood swings that didn’t relate to our relationship fights/make ups, along with lots of other signs.

The Question You Don’t Want Answered

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I was "roommate with benefits" before and somehow I was the other woman. I don't know how he thought he was going to be able to keep the two of us a secret from each other. It's been about five years and when I think about it the emotion that comes back isn't sadness or anger from the betrayal, but amazement that he thought he was going to get away with it.

The Question You Don’t Want Answered

Back when Myspace survey quizzes were popular, I was reading one that she posted. A question on the quiz read "Who was the last person you kissed/had sex with?" The answer was not my name...

Racking up the Minutes

Phone bill was three times bigger than it should have been. Over 400 minutes to one number. The kicker was that she also had a company cell phone with unlimited calls that I obviously never would have known about, and the guy was someone she worked with. She literally wanted to get caught because she was too weak to tell me to my face.

Fly Me to the Moon

a woman looking out the window of an airplanePhoto by Chris Curry on Unsplash

Just got on a flight in London headed to Vegas. Sitting next to my GF, and she wants to show me something she has planned for the trip, so gets out her phone. It opens to the Messages and shows a chat with a guy (I know him) saying how much she is going to miss him and how she doesn't want to go away with me anyway. The doors close on the plane and that was a really fun 10-11hrs...

A Little Subtlety Can Go a Long Way

Right before my ex got caught cheating, I saw his phone laying on the couch like it fell out of his pocket. I picked it up just as he realized he'd dropped it. I swear, he leapt across the room to take it from my hand before I could even say a word. I had already begun suspecting, but that was pretty definitive that I was right.

Setting an Example for the Baby

When I got home from work, she would be going to work and I would be hanging out with our baby. Around the time he was one and a half, she started going to the bar with co-workers. I was fine with it because it wasn't often, maybe one night a week, and she came back home by 12. It quickly got up to coming home between 2:30 am and 4 am, plastered, four to six times a week.

She started mentioning this one co-worker a lot and how cool he was. My paranoia got the better of me and I checked her phone one alcohol-induced coma night and she had been trying to get said co-worker to meet with her at an abandoned gas station a few miles up the road while she was on her way out.

I approached her and asked what she planned to do when he showed up, "just hang out and shoot the s***!" to which I replied, "While you’re drunk, at 2 am, behind an abandoned gas station..." She never admitted to it, but that, a lot of not-even-subtle clues and people I knew seeing her out at the bar gave me all I needed to know.

The Roommate Disagreement

woman in brown shirt covering her facePhoto by Fa Barboza on Unsplash

She was having an argument with a housemate and they shouted at her—with me in the room—“At least I'm not cheating on my fiancé!” She moved out less than a week later.

Happy...Birthday?

I went to her 18th birthday party. I wandered around mingling with all her friends, and then I realized I hadn't seen her anywhere in like 45 minutes. I thought nothing of it at first, but then I went downstairs to use the basement bathroom. It was locked. I knocked and I heard a very breathy female voice say, "Occupied! Go Away!" Since I really had to go, I decided to wait.

GF came stumbling out of the bathroom with some guy about ten minutes later, looking all flustered and stinking. Apparently, the guy bought himself a bathroom quickie with a few hits of a toke. She made some excuse about how they were "just talking" and he was an old friend. I shrugged, actually wanting to believe her.

But when I went in to finally go to the bathroom, the stupid girl had forgotten her panties on the bathroom floor. I handed them to her in front of all her friends upstairs and walked out. "Here. You forgot these in the bathroom downstairs." It was one of those classic zinger moments when you really burned someone, but at the time, I just felt sick and brokenhearted.

Those Dog-Walkers Will Get You Every Time

Not so subtle, but my ex was being guarded with his phone, and every time I caught a glimpse of the screen while he was using it, it was the same girl. Asked who she is and it's his friend from "dog-walking club" Yeah right—they actually met on Tinder. He also went through my phone, and not very subtly either, because he accidentally sent random thumbs up to a lot of people on Facebook chat.

Then there was the random message from the above-mentioned girl, who had gone to the effort of looking me up and telling me to"back off her boyfriend." Hahahahahaha. There were a lot of things she didn't know either, apparently.

Thanks for the Reminder

man and woman lying on grassPhoto by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

I technically didn't catch him cheating, because he came clean about it when he broke up with me. I did, however, find out who he cheated with. He told me it was with his friend Natalie, who I had never heard of before, except for the time maybe days earlier when he told me about his "half black" friend Natalie. Ok, at the time I wasn't sure why he shared this detail.

This was ten years ago when we were all fresh out of high school, so I don't remember exactly how the conversation went. Days go by and a coworker asks me if we're still together, because she saw him kissing a girl, and she shares her description as "darker skinned." I tell her we broke up, and that's probably the girl he cheated on me with, it's ok.

Days go by and my good friend Nora's older brother invites me to hang out, totally out of the blue. I take him up on it and we go to a park near his parents' house. Lo, we spot Nora's car. We're walking through the park and there's Nora's parents' dog running around off leash. And there, on a gentle slope, is Nora and my recent ex making out on the grass.

Nora and her brother are Egyptian and could easily be described as "half black" or "darker skinned." My ex had made Natalie up.

Status: It’s Not That Complicated

Literally five hours after we broke up, he updated his Facebook relationship status to "engaged" to a girl who I thought he was just friends with. She uploaded a photo showing off the ring with the caption "he finally asked, and I said yes!"

Second in Command

Phone dinged, I checked it, (same phones no case both charging next to each other.) The text said, "I miss you too" and was from a girl he was dating when we were separated. Fast forward a few months to when he deploys. Check his email because at this point I know something is up. Find emails, so I contact the mistress.

She was very transparent with me and told me that basically, they were dating before he even met me, which means he courted me, asked me to marry him, married me then we had a child together all while he was still seeing her. We separate for a year, he dates her exclusively, we get back together, and he maintains a relationship with her. All of this without me knowing.

I found this all out while I was a month away from birthing his second child and he's getting shot at in Afghanistan. We decide to work through it, but I never could get over the fact that he cheated on me for four years and had no problem hiding it from me, and only came clean because I found out, as in, he had no intention of coming clean.

When he returned home he confessed to many other times with other people (thank GOD I never got an STD). After three subsequent years of him refusing to go to counseling so that we can ACTUALLY deal with it, he tells me he wants a divorce (a month before we are supposed to get a permanent change of station to Alaska). Moved back home with the kids, filed for divorce and life is amazingly better now. Screw that guy!

Raise the Roof

women standing side-by-side on street during daytimePhoto by Zoriana Stakhniv on Unsplash

My cousin showed me a picture of her hooking up with the male stripper at her bachelorette party.

For My Ears Only

I caught my dad cheating on my stepmom because he said he wanted to listen to Adele on my headphones. The second he said that, I knew something was up. He would never take me and my sister out for any reason other than personal pleasure and why ask for my headphones. I come to find out after a little bit of snooping on his phone that he was sending Facebook audio messages to girls, so his wife couldn't read the messages. That really changed how I saw my dad.

Not That Kind of Emergency

She told me her little cousin (who is mentally handicapped) swallowed something (a battery I think) and was in the hospital in NC and was flying down there. Later, she went and took a nap. I was on the computer, clicked on the favorite place link to Gmail and saw a flight confirmation email to NY. I realized it was her account and not mine.

I sat at the edge of the bed calm as could be and as soon as she woke up I asked her what she was doing in NY. She tried to say she didn't know what I was talking about, but I told her I saw the email. She then said she was going to visit some friends, and I was like oh, is that why you made up this big lie about your cousin?

Dial 1 for Heartbreak

grayscale photo of man holding telephonePhoto by Angelika Agibalova on Unsplash

He was in the basement of the house we had JUST BOUGHT TOGETHER having phone sex with her, not realizing that the sound would travel through the vents. It sucked at the time but in hindsight, he did me a huge favor.

Wake up Call

My girlfriend started working with and talking about this girl and inviting the girl and her GF to go to dinner with us. We went on a double date with this couple a few times over the course of three weeks and I noticed every time we were all four out, my girlfriend would drink much more heavily than usual. It was weird.

We were having them over for dinner one Sunday, but had an adult sports game before (which usually involved light drinking) and she was acting super weird about making sure we were home on time and had dinner ready, etc. That night, after they left, she passed out on the couch next to me. Her Apple watch buzzed, and I glanced over and saw a selfie of this girl.

This was enough to get me to look at her phone (for the first time ever) where I find texts with sexting and details about their hookup. I took screenshots of all of it and sent it to my phone.I got dressed, texted a friend, packed a backpack, and woke her up by throwing her phone (with those messages open) at her and walking out the door.

She groggily sorted it all out and attempted to contact me all night and eventually texted the other girl's GF those screenshots, which I thought was pretty cruddy. Sort of an "if I'm going down, you're going down with me."

Fashion Statements

My first GF, that I had lost my virginity to, banged some dude from high school that allowed her to wear his letterman jacket home since it was cold. He came to her house to get it back and said it just felt right. All while I was at work. The worst part was she told me on AIM when I got home!

Sleepover

woman in blue denim jeans lying on bedPhoto by Adam Winger on Unsplash

He has a longtime friend of his (who happened to be female) who was staying the night. She was sleeping in the basement bedroom and we were upstairs. Well, he slipped out of bed in the middle of the night and woke me up. When he noticed, he told me he had to go to the bathroom. I guess I already had my suspicions, because I lay there and listened to him walk down the hall, then past the bathroom, and down the stairs.

So, I followed. And caught him in the basement getting ready to have sex with her. Oh. I was not a happy puppy. Was stupid and tried to salvage our engagement, but I wasn't "fun anymore" and he left.

While You Were Working

My ex worked a night shift and I worked day shift, so I'd wait for her to come home (so kids wouldn't be sleeping alone) and one night she just didn't show up...Pulled up Find my iPhone to find out she's at her ex’s house. She came home a little later after texting/calling her constantly with some extra news: he got her pregnant...What a wonderful day.

Good Luck Getting a Ride

I had let her borrow my car while I took the bus to work, my friend called me at work to say that my girl was making out with some guy in my car. So I got a taxi over there and yup, there she was. I knocked on the window guy jumped out. I was going to start beating his ass, but I told him to just leave, this might not be your fault.

She started making excuses, I just asked her to step out of the car. Got my keys and drove away a mess, she screwed me up for a long time. She made me lose trust in women and messed up my concept of relationships for a long time.

Say Cheese!

man in black shirt holding black smartphonePhoto by Shane on Unsplash

When I was at college we had this campus Twitter account that people would post pictures of random people caught making out at parties to. I blacked out one Saturday night and woke up to a few angry texts…

Band Camp Blues

When I was 14/15 years old and at band camp, my best friend (let's call her Emma) and I were dating two boys who were best friends. Typical, right? So, one day Emma and I get out of rehearsal and we go to meet up with our boyfriends, who are nowhere to be found. So we look harder, we're wandering around campus, and we hear low voices behind a ledge.

Lo and behold, our precious boyfriends were there...MAKING OUT WITH EACH OTHER. Emma immediately started crying, which caused the boys to pull apart with a suctiony schluuurp. I suppose I wasn't as in love with Boyfriend as I thought, because my reaction was to laugh hysterically. I had never seen two boys make out before. It wasn't bad.

Double Standards

She told me in gratuitous detail the name, body type and acts she performed with like ten different dudes—ranging from making out to intercourse with "only" two dudes. She thought I would forgive her and it’d bring us closer and like it’d be good, so we could talk about those experiences together. After this, she moved for an "open" relationship—which made it all okay because she'd get to retroactively apply our "open" status.

I was young, in love, and heartbroken so I said yes because I was desperate to hang on to her. Then she broke up with me when I hooked up with someone else after like four months of "open" status and her having like a primary friend-with-benefits because I "liked her too much."

Gridlock

grayscale photo of woman standing between two menPhoto by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash

Was dating a girl in college and didn't think she was cheating. Another guy she was dating thought she was. He found my info in her phone and texts me about it. He wants to confront her. We both meet up at her place while she isn't home. He's a nice guy and we honestly got along pretty well for the half hour we talked before she arrived.

She saw us both as she drove up and the look on her face was shock. By the time she got out of her car she was crying but didn't say a word to us. We went in her apartment and her roommate acted as the mediator but it didn't really get anywhere. Me and the other guy were pissed and wanted answers. We weren't getting any so we both gave her some choice words and rolled out.

It’s Either Me or Pop Tarts

A friend in college cheated on his girlfriend because she told him he had to stop eating pop tarts so he could lose weight, and he didn't know how to break up with her. When she found out, he straight up told her to her face that he couldn't give up pop tarts. I wish that was a lie, those things are pretty darn high in calories.

Neal, Neal, Neal

My GF was getting ready for work one day and I noticed she was wearing makeup which she hadn't done in a very long time. I sarcastically asked her, "Is Neal working tonight with you?" to which she said, “no, I just wanted to look nice today.” I dropped her off at work and who was there? Neal, that dirty rat. Like in other stories, sometimes it's the abrupt change in a subtle thing about a person that sets off the warning bells.

Well This One Is a Little Weird...

white and blue dream catcherPhoto by Dyaa Eldin on Unsplash

I've never been able to explain it, but I saw my ex cheating on me in a dream. I saw everything. I told her about it and she freaked out. (To be fair, I described the dude's bedspread, fish-tank, and his room. I have never been there).

Wouldn’t Wait

I was 17 and he was my first boyfriend. I wasn't going to sleep with him and told him as much, so he was having sex with a girl who I knew from church youth group in his car before he would come hang out with me. She wanted him all to herself, so she showed me the messages—I was dumb and didn't believe her because this wasn't the first time she had stirred up drama like this.

Sure enough, his car was outside the church in the back corner of the parking lot and he was waiting for her. Although, TBH, I was mostly just dating him because I hadn't been kissed yet and was tired of waiting for someone I could see myself falling in love with. I was angrier over the humiliation of being cheated on more than because I loved him.

Star-Crossed Lovers

My ex was very into astrology. She cheated on me, and blamed it on the timing of the great American eclipse of August 2017.

Delete From Contacts

man standing on top of rock mountain during golden hourPhoto by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Ex-girlfriend. Woke up one morning and it was plastered all over her Snapchat story of her making out with her ex at some Christmas party. This was the day after a very intense romantic evening with her...Was a tough day to get through for sure. She decided to completely drop contact with me after with no answers as to what happened, but thank goodness I'm out of that train wreck now though...One month on and I'm doing much better.

You Haven’t Evolved Enough to Come up With a Better Excuse Than That?

When my husband and his mistress got caught, they tried to invoke an evolution argument and convince me that "humans aren't meant to be monogamous." I'm like, "if you don't believe in monogamy, why did you even marry in the first place? You could have joined a free love hippie commune at any time if you wanted to. But that's not what you did."

Misplaced Pep Talk

I remember I was brushing my teeth and looking at myself in the mirror, and I thought to myself, "I finally feel like I can trust her! I don't think she has been unfaithful at all to me. That's a good feeling!" I went back to the computer where we had a Skype session going, and I told her my mirror thoughts. I was so proud of myself because I can have trust issues.

She immediately went silent and started biting her lip. I was like "ooooofff course.." She ended up telling me that things got rekindled with her ex, and they started hooking up again. It was just the worst because we were in a long distance stint of our relationship. We broke up, and she got back together with him, and then wanted me back, and then wanted him back. I'm not even sure where it all stands now, but we don't communicate.

Betrayed by Your Own Family

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My dad told me. 5 years later. On the morning of my wedding to another woman. After I dumped the cheater for unrelated reasons. And my entire family pushed for me to get back together with her. AND THEY KNEW SHE WAS CHEATING.

Life is Too Short to Waste on Guys Like Sam

My best friend was in the hospital having emergency surgery, during which she almost died. Her family told her boyfriend, Sam, about her situation. He never responded or showed up to see or ask how she was doing. He then proceeded to cheat on her with some girl from high school, claiming, “She didn’t answer my texts for two whole days!!” Yeah, because she was nearly dead, you jerk!

Tripped up

I was gone for a week for work. Got back to my building after a flight home and had no ride. She forgot to come pick me up. I finally got a hold of her, came to pick me up half drunk, went back to our house, I was unpacking and turned around and she had her hair and makeup done and just said "I'm going out, see ya" and left. This was after I had been gone for a week.

The next day was Friday, she had got home after I went to bed and left for work before me. I got home, and she was already gone, and had texted me and said she was going to her friend's house to hang out for a house party for the weekend. I didn't hear from her again for two days despite calling and texting her. She got home late Sunday night and told me she "lost her phone in the couch.”

I told her this wasn't working, and she needed to leave. She packed a bag while I cracked a beer on the couch. A couple days later, my friend emailed me a boatload of pictures from the weekend she disappeared, all of her and the guy she was cheating on me with. He had posted them on his Myspace that Sunday evening. She actually continued to mess up things for me for quite a while after this, financially mostly, but eventually, I got free of that disaster and moved on happily.

Good Thing She Didn’t Call Your Bluff

man in gray crew neck long sleeve shirt standing beside woman in black crew neck shirtPhoto by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash

She kept deleting all her texts... I got suspicious and told her I had a cool program on my PC that picks up all texts wirelessly. Confronted her saying I had seen them on my PC, she admitted it without me seeing a thing.

Get Thee to a Dentist

One morning, I went to brush my teeth and my toothbrush was wet. I found that odd, so I asked my girlfriend if she had used the blue toothbrush, and she said “yeah” all casual. I said that the pink toothbrush was hers, and she played it off like she didn’t know. I suddenly realized that we had been using the same toothbrush for a few weeks, and it kind of grossed me out. That started a very small argument. I went to work, as did she, but she didn’t come home that night. The next morning, I called her out and she admitted that she slept with another guy who "didn’t think she was gross."

Silence Does Not Equal Consent

My ex-girlfriend cheated on me when I fell asleep. She said since I wasn't responding when she asked if I would be okay with it, she assumed I was. Wack!

While You Were Healing

man covering face with both hands while sitting on benchPhoto by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash

Oh man I have a winner. I had surgery on my testicles due to a possible tumor (it wound up being benign), so I'm recovering that evening in bed. My girlfriend (long-distance) visited me to take care of me. All is going great, except for my crotch hurting and my wearing of a diaper—but hey, I had just come back from Afghanistan, so life was still pretty sweet.

My girlfriend offers to make me some food. Sweet. So she asks me to look up a recipe on my phone. I can't find my phone—so she tosses me hers. Well, let me tell you, in the midst of me looking up a great Chicken Cordon Bleu recipe, a message from my friend Ryan flashes across the top of the screen. I can't make it out, but it looks an awful lot like sex.

I'm like, "Oh Ryan, what are you giving a hard time to my girlfriend about," So I click the message, if only to relay what I presumed was a joke to her. Well, let me tell you, the joke was on me. Those two had been going to Bonetown, USA, while I was deployed. They talked about me being gone as a sexcation. My girlfriend asks if I found anything good.

I'm like "Oh heck yeah." Now, I show her the texts. She denies anything happened. Which is, well dumb—so me being a man of dignity, kick her out of the apartment and send her on her way to Georgia. Wearing adult diapers, I kicked her out of my place. Honestly, I just wish I had found out after I had eaten some Cordon Bleu.

Love Is Not a Game

I'd finished doing the dailies on my WoW character, and I knew he wasn't going to be home for a while so like many times before (with his permission) I logged into his account to do dailies for him. Then the PM's started. Very explicit PM's. Not only was he cheating on me in a game (with loads of people, cybersex in WoW, eugh). But it got worse.

There was one girl who was talking about things outside the game too. I admit I played along for a while to see what was going on.After that, I told her who I was. It all ended rather badly, between her and I, him and I, and him and her.

Be Careful Who You Message

I was dating this dead beat guy for about 2 years. I lived on my parents' property and so did he, for free. One day while I was at work, I go on break and I get a FB message from a guy I barely know. It said "I don't know how you feel about this, but it bothers me." I click it and see a picture. At first I was thinking it was spam and almost deleted it before enlarging it (seemed like one of those click bait titles that hijacks your account).

Something made me decide to click it anyway. When I click it, I see a screenshot of a FB convo between my bf and his gf. He was hitting on her, telling her how much of POS her bf was and how he would treat her so much better than that. He told her not to tell anyone about the convo. Well, sucks for him because the girl immediately showed her bf, who showed me.

Ha! Judging by the time stamps, this conversation took place the previous night at MY house on MY laptop (it was the only way he could have this conversation). Needless to say, I left work early, went home, kicked him out of my place, and made him homeless. Oh well.

Less Than Immaculate Conception

pregnant woman wearing red long-sleeved dressPhoto by freestocks on Unsplash

I know this is cliche and I've definitely complained about it before, but coming home from a 12-month deployment to a black baby when we're both white were strike one and two. Strike three was her telling me she had black relatives (whom I've never met) so that could be what happened, sure. Doesn't matter what excuse you have, though, there isn't a magical 12 month gestation period. Makes me very angry.

Honesty Is the Best Policy

I was married for six years and caught my husband cheating. His response was to just shrug and say, "I got nothing." That was it.

People Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Ever Refused To Date Somebody

Reddit user bigdawgcat asked: 'What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn’t date somebody?'

Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.

Generally speaking, we watch movies to escape our current realities and be transported to other worlds.

As a result, we don't always walk into movie theaters hoping for a truly authentic or genuine experience.

After all, how many people in real life actually met the love of their life at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day, after hearing them on the radio?

When it comes to historical fiction and dramas, however, some might say the facts and historical accuracy are a bit more important.

Indeed, part of the ongoing grudge over Shakespeare In Love's surprise Oscar victory over Saving Private Ryan was the latter was applauded for its accuracy, while the victor was anything but.

However, what probably helped in Shakespeare In Love's upset despite its many historical inaccuracies was that when push came to shove, it was a very good movie.

Redditor Agreeable-Beach-3009 was curious to hear what other films people thought were so good, that their anachronisms and inaccuracies should be overlooked, leading them to ask:

"What's a historically inaccurate movie that gets a pass because of how good it is?"

You Mean, Rasputin WASN'T A Demonic Sorcerer?

"'Anastasia'."

"Can you imagine getting murdered, then a movie gets made implying the woman who claimed your identity was the real deal and had to fight a freaky wizard's curse, and there were two knockoff movies made in the same year?"

"Songs were boppin tho."- vworpstageleft

"CRETACEOUS Park" Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It...

"Most of the dinosaurs you see in 'Jurassic Park' are actually from the Cretaceous Period."- 3loodwolf117

First Hand Accounts Were Probably A Bit Hard To Come By...

"Gladiator."- chewie8291

"Almost nothing about the movie 'Gladiator' is historically accurate, but it doesn't matter."

"S tier historical drama."- Pixelated_Penguin808

Russell Crowe Gladiator GIF by MOODMANGiphy

Those Costumes Though!

"Amadeus."- Sgtp3ppers

"I feel like 'Amadeus' gets a pass because it's an adaptation of a stage play and as an adaptation, it's not trying to be historically accurate but to instead tell a great story, which it does phenomenally."- LadicusRex

Making His Lies Even More Far Fetched...

"Catch Me If You Can."- Bender_Wiggin

"While it all being bullsh*t does take some of the magic out of it, it’s still an entertaining story."

"And the soundtrack absolutely slaps."- rnilbog

It's Safe To Assume The Spanish Inquisition Had A Lot Less Singing And Dancing...

"History of the world part I."- whopper68

"Rome didn't have bullsh*t artists collecting unemployment?"

"Did Mel Brooks lie to me?"- CrunchyDonut42

Giphy

Good Delivery Can Disguise Almost Anything...

"Tombstone."

"But I really do love it."- Iwouldntifiwereme

"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"

"The Life of Brian."- Visible_Claim_388

"'He’s not the messiah he’s just a naughty boy'."- dcrico20

For One Thing, Dogs Can't Talk...

"Balto?"- rmr236

"I love how the premise is that the little girl is telling the story as an old woman, but she was unconscious the whole time."

"She’s definitely pulling that shi* out of her a**."- TheFufe10

sad shame GIFGiphy

There Is, Indeed, A Sucker Born Every Minute. Including Many Who Thought This Movie Told The Truth...

"'The Greatest Showman' makes PT Barnum look like a better person than he was in real life."- viridianvenus

He Was A Man Of Many Talents... This Wasn't One Of Them...

"Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer."- nogoat23

"That movie crosses the absurd into awesome, and I love it."- FactoryOfBradness

Stretching It...

"A Knights Tale."- SoCalRc

"I always wondered how Queen never admitted to stealing such a banger from hundreds of years ago."- londoner4life

heath ledger love GIFGiphy

Some Of The Irish Accents Were Less Than Authentic As Well...

"'Gangs of New York'."

"Historically accurate setting, costumes and some characters/gangs, but the plot and the events supporting it are largely fictional."

"Damn good movie though."- Lieutenant_Skittles

Tom Cruise Swinging A Sword Is More Than Enough For Some People...

"The Last Samurai."- The Last Samurai

"I was surprised at how good this movie was when I saw it this year for the first time."

"The costumes, action, and acting were all quite good."- OutlawQuill

More Memorable Than The Truth?

"The 1970 production 'Tora, Tora, Tora' pulled off one of the great cons of modern cinematography."

"It convinced an entire generation of Americans that after the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, the Japanese Admiral Yamamoto had said 'I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve'."

"There is no evidence that the quote was ever spoken by Yamamoto."

"But it was so perfect and convincing that subsequent Hollywood movies released in 2001 (Pearl Harbor) and 2019 (Midway) unquestioningly passed it off as legitimate."- InstrumentRated

Movies are, first and foremost, a source of entertainment.

As a result, most viewers pay no mind at all to all the complaints historians and scholars may have about them.

If you're looking for speedy answers for a history test or essay, it's best to stick to the textbooks and not rely on Spielberg or Scorcese.


Legs of a Military recruit next to their personal belongings and American flag
Benjamin Faust/Unsplash

Mischievous military recruits in the process of basic training may not always be seriously punished unless they commit a serious crime like stealing.

Instructors punish those in training with an assortment of disciplinary tactics, which can include yelling and "getting dropped"–or being ordered to do push-ups.

Some instructors, however, like to get creative.

Curious to hear about some unique forms of military punishment, Redditor Defiant_Concert_9542t_9542 asked:

"What's the most hilarious punishment you've ever heard of someone receiving in the military, and how did they end up in that absurd situation?"

These recruits were made to be the laughing stock.

"Forgetting The Hat"

"A couple of guys hated wearing their cover (hat), so they kept 'forgetting' to put it on when going outside."

"Sgt made them each 'wear' the other guy's hand as cover for a few days. They looked so ridiculous/miserable walking around holding another man's bald head."

– Scaphismus

Bad Hat

"Had a guy forget to put on his hat when coming outside during basic training. Instructor told him that it wasn't his fault but that it was the hats fault. He made the guy spank the hat and yell 'Bad Hat' over and over. After that he said even though the hat was bad he still needed to let the hat know that he loved him. He then made him caress the hat and tell him that he loves him."

– Kmo78

Importance Of Being On Time

"So this guy was constantly late to everything. Never out of bed on time, never in formation when he was supposed to be, etc."

"The Sargents pulled a clock off the wall, attached a bike chain to it, and make it look like a big a** necklace. (If you were a rap fan back in the day you may know where this is going)"

"They made the dude wear it like a Flava Flav clock chain. They would constantly scream at him 'Flava Flav what time is it?!?'"

"He learned to be on time real quick."

– LeluWater

Things get more creative.

Perfect For The Gullible

"We would tell every new person in our squadron that they had to set up an appointment with 'Captain Dees.' We'd give the person the local number of the Captain D's restaurant. They'd call the number and ask to speak with Captain Dees. It was hilarious every time."

– Kmo78

Ladybug Story

"I once had a ladybug land on my desk during morning inspection. When staff found it. I had to write a 500 word biography of who the bug was etc. and then had to make sure he was there for the rest of the week in good health for every morning inspection that week. Lol"

– withoutwarningwood

How Touching

"Newly promoted to Sergeant me and my buddy got the task of pre barracks inspection prior to our new CSM barracks inspection which was to be after our 1SG barracks inspection. Ya... anyway, the new CSM wanted troops to actually have their rooms decorated and lived in looking which whatever right? So everything is going fine we're still in good with the E4 Mafia so we're given heads up on whose rooms actually need inspected and which we could just skip cause they were squared away. Last room of the evening and it's bare as a prison cell. Troop was using his woobie (poncho liner) as a blanket, no pillows and literally nothing in this room that wasn't issued not a thing in his fridge etc. Come to find out he has been sending all like seriously ALL his money home to his mom to help raise his 4 siblings. Me and the other Sergeant ordered him to come with us to the PX, we got on the horn to our 1SG explained the situation and he met us at the PX with our entire upper NCO chain and the Commander. We forced this kid to buy over 1000 dollars of items/food/tv/etc for his room and all the money was donated by the NCO chain and the Commander. That was a great leadership was very sad to leave that unit. Sorry long winded lol"

– geriatric-sanatore

Free Concert

"We had a guy who could just not get his sh*t together. We all know that troop. Even the easy things were hard, etc etc."

"The cadre found out he was a former opera singer and also fluent in German. So they made him write and sing opera songs about his f**k ups. This was the only thing he was good at."

"Now here’s where this gets hilarious, beyond one dude singing self-deprecating songs in a marching formation. The cadre would bark 'German style!' and he’d seamlessly switch his lyrics to German. They’d yell 'underwater style!' and he’d take his index finger and flip it up and down on his lips as he sang, making the song sound bubbly."

"Not only could the cadre not hold it together, the guys in his company would absolutely lose it. Complete breakdown in military bearing, and no one cared. Other cadre and instructors would come just to listen and they would be in tears laughing."

"I don’t know where you are now homeboy, but thanks for the laughs."

– vmikey

Environmentally Conscious

"Having to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he was wasting."

– International_Set522

"I remember one of the others on my intake being sent over to the nearest tree to deeply apologise for wasting the good oxygen this tree produced and explain to said tree why he was such an utter t*t...."

– The_Burning_Wizard

Lesson to be learned: don't lose or forget things that are essential.

What's The Big ID-a?

"Guy kept losing his ID/leaving it sitting in the computer. Chief 'borrowed' it, took it to one of those one hour print job places, had it blown up to like 3 feet across, cut the picture out, and made the idiot walk around all day holding his enormous ID up with his face in the cut out hole. He stopped misplacing his ID after that."

– HakunaYouTaTas

Don't Lose The Rock

"We had a tradition when you were new to the unit and went on our first summer exercise (National Guard) that you would need to carry a rock around with you. It was an inspectable item so it needed to be with you at all times. You were not to let anyone else have this rock. The trick was if you lost the rock, you'd get another rock chosen by the platoon sergeant."

"One guy had a hard time with the 'Don't give this to anyone else' and kept losing his rock. After the 4th or 5th time, the platoon sergeant gave him what I can only describe as a small Boulder. This kid had to lug that rock around for the next week but he made damn sure not to lose it."

– Lawson470189

The Long Road March

"1995 - At mile 4 of an 12 mile hump (quick water break), my assistant gunner forgot the tripod for the M60. The platoon sergeant made him hug and apologize to every tree along his side of the road for wasting oxygen for the rest of the road march. 8 miles of this and no one could go past him. A road march that should've taken three hours ended up taking 12. There's a lot of trees at Ft. Campbell"

– MrL1970

The road from being a recruit to soldier is a tough but rewarding one in the end.

While some of the punishments and actual training tactics seem insurmountable, they build character, better physical endurance, and resilience.

It may be grueling, but it's all part of the military world.

Are you up for the challenge?

It feels like everything under the sun is expensive these days.

So maybe when we look at price tags, we're just having a little financial PTSD.

Some items and services that were once doable have turned into a years-long savings plan.

Like where do the cable and internet people get these price points?

Especially for their "services."

Please.

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