No matter how much therapy I attend there are just some issues from childhood I'll never be fully free from; in particular, crippling fears and specific haunts. And I know I'm not alon. I'm still no fan of the dark and I always give sufficient credence to any and all superstitions, there is no reason to tempt fate; especially since I've made it this far.
I loathe most insects, snakes and anything that resembles a rat. And I actually think those are healthy issues. Some fears are just unshakeable. Do you agree?
Redditor u/Chaelaminsky1990 wanted to hear about details of the past that so many of us just can't seem to outrun, by asking:
What irrational fear did you have as a kid that you thought you'd grow out of but never did?
I grew up in New York. When I was about six, I was walking up the stairs from the train when a rat fell from the street onto my head. I don't remember the rest. Need I say more?
Look Away
Scared Dog GIF by MOODMAN
Giphy
"Mirrors, I'm always have a thought that I'm going to see something that I shouldn't. lol"
Deep Blue Sea...
"Sharks in the pool at night. Can't see 'em but I know they're there."
"Came here to say this, but it goes beyond pools. It can be any body of water. Sometimes when I'm in the shower I just start thinking about sharks and have to shower real fast and get the freak out of there."
"Sometimes I get freaked out when I'm not even around water thinking I'm just gonna wake up and realize I've been passed out in the middle of the ocean with a shark about to attack me. Kinda weird. I watched Deep Blue Sea when I was really little and it freaked me out, and I've always blamed it on that."
Can't See
"The dark, I'm 48."
"My caution meter goes up. Not like I can't walked around my house in the dark but hearing or watching horror or thriller stories, it's quite rational to be cautious and recheck all the doors are locked."
"It's not just 'the dark' for me, I'm fine in the dark outside or in rooms of my house. It's dark in unfamiliar places/rooms."
From Beneath
"The fear that something under my bed will grab my foot if it hangs off the bed."
"Yo... I specifically store a bunch of stuff under my bed so it is all full up under there specifically so I can know. NOPE NO MONSTERS HIDDING IN THERE. and if they are. They much smaller than me so I could overpower those smurf sized monsters grabbing my feetsies. Not tonight non-existent underbed gnomes. Not tonight."
- Kondrias
Mighty Waters
loud house animation GIF by Nickelodeon
Giphy
"As a child every time a toilet clogged I would start crying because I thought it was going to overflow, flood the house and we would all drown. Now I don't cry, but the fear is still there."
I hate toilets. I've been involved in too many floodings. It's like I'm cursed when I go number two. And that under the bed thing, that's real problem.
Entanglements
Jazz Seaweed GIF by The Itchyworms
Giphy
"Swimming in the ocean in the sections that have sea weed and are consequently dark."
Shut It!
"I absolutely cannot under any circumstances fall asleep if the closet door is open. I've tried so many times. I KNOW there's not demons in there but at the same time like what if there is???"
"I can't sleep with my bedroom door closed. Closet and my en suite bathroom doors HAVE to be closed, but the door to the bedroom HAS to stay open. I blame my being a mom. WhAt If SoMeTHiNg HaPpEnS tO tHe BoY aNd I dOn'T hEaR iT!? He's 11 now and in no risk of SIDS or anything else I panicked about when he was a baby."
- KixStar
KaBoom!
"It took a long time to grow out of but propane tank and torches used to freak me out I thought everytime one was turned on it could possibly explode."
- Boat3000
"Me too! I was probably 8 hanging around in the basement of one of the "older boys". I was helping him with something and he was using a little propane torch."
"Well I guess he didn't tighten the tip onto the propane bottle well enough, propane escaped creating a second flame that went spewing out the side. He freaked out and threw it and we both BOLTED out of the house - his Mom in tow. Luckily a larger fire didn't start but I was quite fearful of those things for a long time. Now I know how to handle them and I can sweat pipes with little anxiety."
Superstitions...
"I'm 27 and I still smack the light off and run up the stairs like a dog ASAP."
- jrocbb
"I'm 32 and still jump in bed and hide under the blanket for a minute until my eyes adjust. Thankfully I only have to do this at certain relatives houses as I have a light with hanging switch above my bed so I can do it while partially under cover already."
Who is there?
"Always checking behind the shower curtain before using the restroom. My dad used it to scare me so much as a kid, that I now get relatively extreme anxiety from a closed shower curtain."
"Yup I have my own apartment now and only clear shower curtains are allowed lmao. Nothing happened to trigger this fear, except possibly a movie or something where the killer was hiding behind a shower curtain? Idk but at my parent's house I still check under and in anything in my room a killer could be hiding in before I go to sleep so I guess I'm just paranoid. lol"
Let me Poop
steve irwin snakes GIF by Bustle
Giphy
"A snake swimming through my plumbing lines and biting me in the butt while I'm taking a poop. It went away after a while until I saw a video of this exact scenario happening. Now I will never be able to poop in peace."
What did I tell you about snakes? See! And it's wise to always check every corner of the house when you can. You never know.
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The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
GiphyThe video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
Partner Preference
Giphy"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
Herding Cats
Giphy"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
Wretched Existence
Giphy"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
One Hour
Giphy"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" Exercise
Giphy"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
Vicious Predators
Giphy"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic Princess
Giphy"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
Shoe-nanigans
Giphy"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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