Life is hard.
The sooner we learn and embrace that fact, the better off we are.
It's going to be complicated most of the time and happiness comes in intervals.
So embrace happiness hard and fast.
Because joy can be sucked out of your life in the blink of an eye.
Not trying to be sour, just truthful.
Redditor Nolan asked about the times people were left with nothing but a frown:
"What stole your joy? Why do you not have the same zest for life that you once did?"
I feel like my joy was taken with age. But I'm a downer.
Evil Wins
I Did A Thing GIFGiphy"Knowing Bad people win. Not like in movies I enjoy watching. Heroes are silenced or killed early on and the scummiest die peacefully getting away with everything."
Distasteful-medicine
F the Big C
"Incurable, inoperable brain cancer at 36."
"Edit: diagnosed at 34, not 36."
aag3_throwaway
"Hey Hey, mine was at 30, still here 7 years later... no idea how long its been for you BUT although it was always on my mind pretty constantly for the first 4 years, now I have long periods of time (hours, a day) without really thinking about it (and not because of my brain friend chipping away at my memory)!"
Marmots_win
Long Lasting
"Chronic illness and chronic pain!"
frayedbrain
"8 years ago I ate some bad shrimp and got a 3 day long case of food poisoning... and then never got better."
"I've had an 8 year battle with ME/CFS and lost the majority of my 20s to it."
"The pain of knowing that no matter what I do, no matter what happens now, I can never get these years back, takes something from me that I can't explain in words, and knowing that it's going to take more of them is even worse."
flashley630
Passion into Work
"I turned my hobby into my profession. Now I don't have a hobby anymore and I enjoy doing what I do less now that I need to do it in order to get money."
Senappi
"I studied Physics and Astronomy because I had a passion for it as a child. The coursework was extremely difficult, which was okay. The gatekeeping attitude from professors and peers is what killed it for me."
"I was constantly reminded that I was not smart enough to be worth anything in the field. I completed my degree absolutely burnt out and devoid of my initial love. Years later I came back to astronomy as the hobbyist I initially was and accepted that I was much happier not trying to be a professional."
MajesticStars
Zapped
James Earl Jones Reaction GIFGiphy"Upon my husband's death, I learned he lived a double life and had given our savings and my children's college funds to his paramour. Fortunes come and go, but stealing 25 years of my life to live his lies, zapped my joy."
Additional_Ad5659
Death really is the worst. I hate death.
Pain
Headache I Cant GIF by Solomon RayGiphy"IIHC. Idiopathic Intercranial Hypertension."
"Constant headaches, head pressure, Tinnitus, and vision issues."
"Idiopathic, means they don't know sh*t about anything. Just 'try these meds for 3 months and come back.'"
y5e06
It broke me...
"Loss... I lost my dad to cancer. This set off a lot of issues with my mom, depression, alcoholism, medicine abuse, and I was in a different city far away doing my master thesis. I was 23 and I don't have any siblings. It broke me. I used to go around with a smile on my face by default, but that disappeared."
"I've found lots of joy afterwards, but it sure was an experience I still suffer from."
MissNatdah
Being Able
"Being blind. Realizing no matter how good I become at something, able bodied people will and are better. Realizing that I can be an amazing something and never get anything more than you are good for a blind person."
Effective_Meet_1299
"F**k, that hit me hard. I am only half blind, and have mild cerebral palsy, but I've always been utter s**t at any physical activities. I started doing karate, and despite working hard for the past couple of years."
"There's still not a single mildly experienced able-bodied person I can defeat. I've lost all joy in it because I know I'll never be good enough. I'm too tired to even try anymore. And I know it'll be like that with any physical activity I try, which is absolutely crushing as I am a very competitive person by nature."
Karl_the_stingray
Tragedy
"Spouse and 3 kids died in an accident. People said it would take time to feel joy again, but it’s been over a decade now without much change."
"I enjoy little things from day to day now, but there’s no larger point anymore. Life is mostly just a chore."
lovely_ginger
"Halloween made 5 years since my wife and son died. She was 8 months pregnant. He was our first. He died 35 hours later in the NICU. You are absolutely correct. I don't have nor can I find 'big picture' happiness. Just the random day to day uptick that is welcome, but I know it is temporary."
A1A5KA
Hopeless
Frustrated Kill Me GIFGiphy"The realization that no matter what I do, no matter how many hours I work, I'll still never be able to get ahead. Working just to have little to nothing to show for it doesn't feel great."
FearlessVeritas
Well this is a lot. Why is joy hard? But we're rooting for you and your happiness, dear reader.
Do you have any "joy zaps" to add? Let us know in the comments.
Redditor KiLLz_Smanrx7 was hoping people would open up about dealing with bullies, so they asked:
"People who fought back against bullies, what caused it and how badly did the bully get hurt?"
I can't remember my bullies.
I think that's the best recourse.
For my Sister
A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphy"I think I was about 10. He'd been bullying me and my sisters for a couple of years. He tried to sneak up on my sister on the bus. He stretched out his hand like he was going to pull her hair or something. I made a fist, swung it backwards and him in the eye. He cried."
Fun_in_Space
Shattered Pride
"Little bit of backstory first. We were playing tackle the carrier. I was a fourth grader, and I tackled a sixth grader, and he got pissed off and started to kick me."
"I let it happen a few times a teacher was literally looking right at me. After about the fourth time I grabbed his leg and lifted. He fell backwards then I punched him in the face twice. He only got a bloody nose and shattered pride. We each got suspended for three days. My mom was pissed at the school after they told the story to her. Then when she watched the footage, she asked me in front of the principal if there was a new game I wanted."
"Principal was mad but my mom said 'I never teach my boys to start anything. But when the teacher refused to end it he did by defending himself.' Best three day weekend ever. P.S. we were related threw marriage and he got in huge trouble with his convict dad for getting beat up by a little kid."
Titalator
Keep Walking
"For some reason this kid had it in his head that he could beat me up. I’ve no idea why, or where his assumption came from but he wanted a fight with me to prove he could. I couldn’t care less if he could or couldn’t. It simply didn’t interest me."
"For a week or more he would goad me on the school bus with things like 'who do you think would win in a fight?' Etc. I was having none of it, I wasn’t interested in fighting anyone and I didn’t care what he or anyone else thought on the matter."
"He squared up to me several times off the bus trying to get me to fight with him and I just kept telling him to leave me alone and kept walking away."
"After several days of this and him getting nowhere, as I was walking away chatting with my friend, he ran up behind me and punched me on the back of my head."
"I very calmly asked my friend to hold my bag for me. I walked up to the kid, grabbed hold of him, tripped/threw him to the ground, punched him once in the face/eye, stood up and I walked away. I said nothing. Walked back to my friend, collected my bag and continued walking."
"I didn’t see this kid for a few days, and he unsurprisingly he left me alone after that."
Arisutea
RUN!
"Little league football - I was in 6th - brother in 4th grade - his bully in 5th. He intentionally tried to hurt my brother during practice - so I took off running - jumped in the air, went horizontal and landed my cleats in his chest. He lost his breath for a minute or so. I ran laps for many minutes. Bully no longer bothered little brother."
Sheehanigens
One Punch
I Win Take That GIF by Film RiotGiphy"Early high school, was going between classes getting something out of my locker. He shoved my head into my locker and without hesitation I turned around and punched him square in the chest as hard as I could. That was enough to get him to stop."
Qangulous-Yahrnam
What is the stuffing the locker obsession?
It's ASSAULT!
Say Sorry
Laugh At Ha Ha GIF by filmeditorGiphy"I saw a guy my age bullying a younger kid, so I got the entire bus to point at him at say 'bully, bully' over and over. He ended up crying."
"Problem was, my mom and his mom were friends, so my mom took me over to his house and made me apologize to him, so it wouldn't be awkward between her and his mom."
Veritas3333
The Last Day
"In high school i was bullied for a few years (mainly calling names, making 'jokes' and messing with my stuff). I used to never do anything back."
"Then at some point I got angry, turned around (he was standing behind me) and punched him in the face, giving him a bloody nose."
"That was also the last day I got bullied."
"In hindsight i think i mostly got picked on by him because i never did anything back and he did not want to risk any pushback. (Who says violence never solves anything?)"
The_Upperant
The Dude
"The one that comes to mind is the one kept trying to trip me. I finally called him on his sh*t and he slapped me which set me off. I body-slammed him and jumped on him. I got called to the office with my parents, and they wanted to suspend me but every other student that witnessed it stuck up for me and said it was self-defense and I got off with in-school suspension. The dude avoided me for the rest of our time in school."
Diesel-KC
A Strong Kick
"Two guys in high school tried to do the 'tabletop' move (one gets on all fours and the other pushes you). I stepped on the hand of the guy on the ground when I stepped back. Realized what was happening. Kicked him with kind of a horse kick while still stepping on his hand, and then fastballed the 20 oz bottle of Coke I was holding at the other guy’s head as hard as I could and ran away. They were both on the ground reeling."
CheeseIsQuestionable
Let's Wrestle
Wrestle The Elite GIF by All Elite Wrestling on TNTGiphy"Dude knocked my pizza out of my hand at lunch, so I took a running start and kicked him the gut. He got up and started to try to wrestle with me, while my friend tried break us up. All in all it lasted maybe 10 seconds, nobody hurt."
Jon__Snuh
Never touch the pizza.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
"What is a split-second decision you made that change your life?"
Going With Your Conscience
"Had a boss who asked me to help him commit fraud."
"At the time I was very heavily in debt and badly needed the income, nonetheless I resigned immediately."
"Luck shined on me and I got another job a month later, just in time to pay bills."
"A few years after that I looked up my old boss, he got caught and served time."- GreedyNovel
Why It's Worth Pulling Your Eyes From The Screen
"Quitting a game of Call of Duty Zombies (whatever the one was in 2010/2011)."
"My friends in the dorm would play this constantly and were addicted."
"One day, my friend comes in and says he's going up to his gf's dorm to meet her new roommate, did anyone want to join."
"Normally, nothing could pry me from that game, but something compelled me to say yeah, sure."
"My buddies I was playing with were pissed."
"Went up there and had the closest thing to love at first sight I can describe."
"I still remember looking at this girl vividly."
"She's now my wife, and we have a 5 month old son together."- IslandsOnTheCoast
Love At First Sight Nicole GIF by Hallmark ChannelGiphyThink Twice Before Taking Off Your Pants
"My friend ('B') had just gotten off of work and would drive past my house on the way to hers every night."
"One night (December 27, 2007, to be exact) B decided to call me while leaving work and invite me to the bar for a drink."
"I had already started drinking and was about to decline the offer when she told me, 'I’m pulling into your driveway'."
"'You might as well put on some pants and come have a beer with me'.”
"No more than 30 seconds after we walked in, she was approached by another friend of hers ('N') and introduced us to each other."
"One year and three four days later - December 31, 2008 - N and I were married and have been ever since."
"If I hadn’t made the decision to put on pants, I likely wouldn’t have met my wife."- A_Prickly_Cactus
Making The Right Decisions For Your Health
"Making myself an appointment for in-patient rehab consultation."
"I couldn’t decide if I was being dramatic or necessary."
"5+ years sober now!"- jn7nh0
Some Feelings Just Can't Be Hidden
"I asked my best friend 'Do you want to talk about the unspoken thing'."
'It was a very impulsive decision, but something I had wanted to say for a long time. she responded 'What, the fact that we love each other, like romantically?''- Winter-Algae8569·
Season 5 Episode 121 GIF by FriendsGiphyThe More The Merrier
"January 2020, a coworker asked if I knew anyone that wanted to adopt a puppy."
"We had three dogs, were not considering another, and even discussed that three was definitely more than enough."
"For whatever reason, I asked him for pics and sent them to my wife."
"That evening we had a 4 month old pup that got along amazing with the family and the other dogs."
"Two months later I was laid off unexpectedly, not even related to covid."
"I was unemployed for over a year and this dog was by my side non-stop."
"Now, everyone in the family loves Rosy, but me and her have a special bond I've never had with a dog before."
"I'm literally tearing up as I write this, a 40yo bearded trucker, ffs."
"I just can't explain how special she is and how important she was to helping me get through the last couple of years."
"Not to dismiss my amazing wife, to be clear."
"When I'm home, I can't go to a different room without her coming along."
"When I'm gone for the night, she whines at my wife while going between her and the door, so I'm told."
"I guess that's not as 'life-changing' as some of these stories, but my life is definitely changed by the presence of her."- curlyfat
Dogs Wave Hi GIF by MOODMANGiphyJust When She'd Given Up All Hope...
"A person who was a stranger to me at the time logged in to delete her online dating profile."
"There was a message in her inbox."
"It was from me."
"15 years later, we are 12 years happily married."- mekdot83
You Can Never Be Too Sure...
"Going for a third opinion after being misdiagnosed by two doctors in a day for unnatural tiredness."
"The third doctor rushed me off to get urgent blood tests, and it turns out I had severe blood poisoning and was on the verge of organ failure."
'If I'd not gone for a third opinion, I'd be dead now."- Wickywahwah
Safety First!
"Not sure if this counts, but when I was 13 we had this little 50cc dirt bike that I would ride around the block every now and again."
"I was out riding one day and I start doing jumps off the curb."
"I remember landing sketchily and thinking 'a helmet would nice' so I went and out one on, did another curb jump and sure enough wipe and snake the side of my head on the pavement and concussed myself."
"I am sure I would’ve died without the helmet."- buttermansix
cycling fend GIF by GrouphuntGiphyAlways Follow Your Heart
"To quit my tenured job."
"I'm now living in a different city, completing a degree for a profession I am both interested in and naturally good at."
"If you'd told me 5 years ago that this is what I would be doing at the start of 2023, I would have had a panic attack over the thought of just dropping everything, quitting my profession and moving hours away from my home city."
"I was suffering then, but I didn't realize I had the strength to do it until I needed to do it."- ana-neemous
A Little Help Goes A Long Way
"A neighbor of mine is a teacher at an elementary school."
"One day, 6 years ago, she asked me if she could give my phone number to the parents of one of the kids at the school who needed tutoring."
"I wrote down my number for her and started tutoring the kid."
"Over time, I basically became part of the family."- AlmostChristmasNow
Really Knowing Who Your Friends Are
'Cutting my group of friends out of my life.'
"I always felt like crap around them, and one day I realized that they would never ever be there when I needed them."
"So I just noped out and changed numbers."- tsoro
Bye Bitch Get Out Of My Face GIF by Becky GGiphyIt's always scary to make a decision in the heat of the moment.
However, as the saying goes, "the heart knows what it wants".
"Guys of Reddit, what is the best compliment a girl could give you?"
No Pretending Required
"I can be myself around you."- noah1000000999
"Whenever a girl says she feels safe around me or feels secure/comfortable makes me feel so good it's indescribable."
"Makes me feel very manly."- kipskip_
I'll Take Them All!
"Pretty much any compliment will do."- Mysterious_Drama2772
I Want Them All Paramount Network GIF by YellowstoneThe Devil Is In The Details
"When I was younger, I had a meeting with a beautiful, slightly older woman from a different organization that I admired in our industry."
"When we were shaking hands and saying hello, she thoughtlessly blurted out, 'Oh, you're cute', then apologized and said she's not hitting on me and that she's married."
"Then, she tried to change the topic by talking about one of my recent projects, which I was surprised she knew."
"Both were nice compliments."- NoConsideration5775
Keep It Simple
"I like you."- Smirknlurking
It's Worth the Weight
“'I love you'."
"Yet to hear it but I imagine it sounds good."- Or4ngut4n
Or Just "You're Cute" In General...
"'You're cute when you're excited'."
"Still riding the high from that one, and that was 3 years ago."- JackCooper_7274
Striking Resemblance
"Girl at the mall told me I looked like Ryan Gosling."
"She couldn’t be more wrong, the comment was an affront to everything Ryan Gosling stands for."
'T'was appreciated however."
"Gonna be riding that high for the next 3-37 years"- -Praetoria-
happy homer simpson GIFWhen You Got It, Flaunt It...
"A girl at work told me another girl told her that I have a nice a**."
"She tried to keep the girl anonymous but I tricked her into admitting who it was."
"The one that told me also complimented me on my legs and looks in general."
"Feels weird being complimented on my a** and legs as a guy but I guess it's better than nothing?"- Lambesis96
It's All In The Eyes...
"A female friend of mine once told me I had 'kind eyes' when I smiled."
"Best compliment I ever received."
"I just smiled normally and genuinely, and she picked up on it."
"Man, I miss her."- midnight_reborn
Great Hair Is Hard To Resist...
"'You are hot' would be very surprising yet welcome."
"I also get "your hair looks great" a lot."- KomradeElmo0
ricky rubio nba GIF by Utah JazzGiphySetting Standards For The Future
"Back when I was 9 years old my mum's friend meeting me for the first time told me that once I grow up I will be a super sexy handsome dude all the gals will drool over."
"That didn't happen but it was nice to hear back then."- playerhamdan
Should anyone find that special guy, and want to let him know just how special they think he is, all of the above compliments are a good way to start.