"A colleague of mine dialed into a meeting of 2-3 managers plus about 25 sales reps only for everyone to suddenly go quiet and for one person to tell him the meeting was cancelled and he could drop as they, the sales reps, were just chatting sales stuff."
"He pretended to hang up and stayed on the line."
"They were basically planning a mutiny because they didn't like that their regional manager was a woman."
"They had a whole strategy for how they were going to cause a massive f*ck up that would cost the company a ton of money and look like it was her fault so she would get fired."
"The dumbwads even did a little 'are we all in agreement' roll call at the end."
"We worked in a call center so his end of the call was recorded."
"Within a week every last one of them was fired and within a month they were replaced."- InternetWeakGuy.
Season 6 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphyWalls are not always soundproof.
"I was looking for a place to rent."
"Met the property manager and she walked me to the unit."
"It wasn't the best neighborhood and my mind was already made up as I was walking around the property with her that I wasn't going to go through with it."
"But the lady was very nice and friendly and I figured I'd at least take a look inside the unit."
"It was small and dingy."
"I looked around and told her nicely that I'd think about it and then walked out."
"After the door closed, I could hear her screaming: 'No, you f*cking won't!'"
""F*ck!'"
" Oh, I'll think about it and let you know.'"
"'Ah! F*ck!!"'
"Certainly glad I did not rent."- SweetDee72.
Overheard at the office.
"I once worked as a secretary in an office that, for some reason, got butt-dialed a lot."
"During one such occasion I got to listen in while some gentleman from New York absolutely roasted one of his employees."
"'Well what the f*ck do you expect me to do?'"
"'Honestly, Tom, honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm sleeping your sister, you would be out of here right now'."- BabySuperfreak.
"Here, kitty, kitty..."
"I left a client a voicemail and thought I hung up but in fact I proceeded to talk baby talk to my roommates cat for several minutes while it was recording."- Incontinento
"Another season, another reason..."
"I used to work at a call center that took orders for a lot of different things."
"I took a call from an old lady one day."
"She told me she was 89 and her husband was 92."
"She ordered a generic brand of 'the little blue pills'."
"As she was hanging up I heard:"
"Little old man: Did ya get'm?"
"Little old lady: I sure did."
"Little old man: HOT DAMN I'm gonna get some now!"
"Little old lady: *giggles*"- Shenaniganic.
You'll do this, or else...
"My mother-in-law [MIL] had a new boss who hated her."
"She was about three years from retirement, and she felt like he was trying to push her out early so she’d loose part of her pension etc."
"She asked me to check her answering machine while she was gone after her mother died and let her know if anything important came in, and to water her plants."
"The third day or so I’d been there, there was a message from this boss giving his condolences."
"Then you could hear the click where he thought he’d hung up but must have placed the receiver just wrong and was still on the line."
"He ruthlessly made fun of her with his wife for the next five minutes before saying 'Oh, sh*t!' and hanging up."
"She was at a really low point in her life, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her or leave the message on the machine."
"It would have absolutely crushed her."
"But I did record it, and then I deleted it from her machine."
"Then I called that a**hole and told him what I had, why I wasn’t telling her RIGHT NOW, but absolutely would if needed in the future, and told him I’d better hear nothing but how wonderful work was going for her and how well she was treated until she retired."
"I told him I didn’t even understand what a piece of sh*t you had to be to talk about someone like that behind their back, and especially at such a time in their life."
"And that’s exactly what happened."
"She had a wonderful last few years and figured that her mother dying had opened him up to treat her kindly and with respect."
"That was twenty years ago and I never told her and never will."
"I wouldn’t want to ever take those last few years there away from her."- skbiglia.
"You talkin' to me?"
"Not a crazy story but I had just finished talking to a client over the phone, we say our goodbyes, then I hear her ask 'are you wearing pants today?'"
"I wasn't sure how to answer that but I figure she was jokingly asking because everyone just started working from home due to covid."
"I just replied 'Yes'."
"She then burst out laughing trying to explaining that she thought she had already hung up and she was actually asking her husband that question."
"We laughed about it for about 3 mins before we actually hung up."- lexisauce.
A dissatisfied customer.
"I worked in sales, inbound call, and had a pleasant conversation with a customer who politely declined the offer and told me she was going to look elsewhere."
"We said our goodbyes, nothing out of the ordinary."
"Really sweet lady, had called in with her husband."
"As soon as she thought she hung up, she slammed her phone down and starts yelling at her husband."
"'F*ck [company name], are you f*cking shitting me right now?'"
"'$350 a f*cking year?'"
"'I’m not paying that much for this g*ddamn piece of sh*t [product] how the f*ck could that b*tch pitch that with a straight f*cking face?'”
"I gave her the decency of hanging up myself after that but she was 100% in the right being pissed haha."
" Inbound means she called us to update, not the other way around for those confused."
"I said she was justified because the company sucks."
"It was exactly what she called in for, just with a price increase she wasn’t expecting."- sh*ttysoprano.
Caught Red-handed.
"I called a service provider who was supposed to order certificates of good standing from a state and they were late in sending them over."
"They told me there was a delay at the state’s office and gave me a new estimate."
"They forgot to hang up, and I heard them telling their coworker that they’d completely forgot to send in the time sensitive request in the first place."
"Never used them again."- a_little_wicked
"I had a job where I was in a position to write-off a substantial phone bill, which the customer said was because her mother was dying overseas and she had dementia and needed to hear things in her voice to believe anything, including doctor’s instructions."
"She was heartbroken and sobbing about how if she had the kind of money to pay this phone bill, she would have just gone back to her country because the flight would have cost less."
"She was right about that."
"I wrote-off the entirety of the phone bill, she cried like a jilted lover in a rom-com and said people like me are angels from god etc."
"After I wished her a good evening and she thought the call was ended, she says to someone in a perfectly normal voice ‘Well, that worked!’"- aardvarkyardwork.
Michael Buble Gotcha GIF by bublyGiphyNever underestimate the importance of that little click or your phone returning to its home screen.
Neglecting to take note of those simple little things could land you in more trouble than you could possibly imagine.
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Like it truly doesn't matter if you're in the woods to cut it down or to enjoy the splendor - you should still know that bears will eat your face off and they don't necessarily kill you first.
Reddit user ihavethebestmarriage asked:
"What are some reddit rookie mistakes?"
So here's how to avoid getting your proverbial face eaten off by an e-bear on Reddit.
"Reliable Source"
"Thinking consensus on Reddit represents widely accepted views in outside world."
-Wkwkbr453
"I used to secretly make fun of people who quoted Reddit as a credible source before I joined. Now I increasingly find myself starting sentences with, 'I read on Reddit…'."
-Laleena_
"That’s your mistake. You just have to say 'I read that…..' and never mention that your source is a random Reddit comment."
-outofdate70shouse
"Yes. To avoid the shame."
-foxsimile
The Nothing Awards
GIF by Australian OpenGiphy"Unnecessary award speech edits"
-User Deleted
"Also: following up with a 'what do I do with this gold' question."
"Nothing sir. The answer is nothing."
-BaconReceptacle
"Also: What do I do with all this karma."
"Nothing sir. The answer is nothing."
-Zarniwoooop
Advertisements
"My mom joined reddit and was posting in subreddits related to her work."
"She wasn't constantly shilling, but would if the person was in her service area, mention her business explicitly."
"Her username even included her business name in it."
"I had to explain that Reddit wasn't really supposed to be a marketing tool in the same way Twitter or Facebook were."
-deqb
"It is, though, you just have to frame it in a cutesy way so that people can pretend you aren't marketing: "
" 'I just started my business! Here's a cupcake I made!' "
"Predictable redditor or sock puppet account: 'I would buy one of those!! Where are you located??'."
-angrymonkey
"No, it's better to say 'I just found this business, they look like they could really use support'."
"A LOT of those posts are self-advertising, as reddit generally is against that, along with it being against the rules in a lot of subreddits."
"Know someone who used to help smaller businesses do that, basically advertise their stuff pretending to be a 'genuine' person who just happened to discover and post about their stuff."
"Happens a lot more than people think, even on a large scale. Businesses have been hiring actors and people to pretend to like their products for ages now."
-asdaaaaaaaa
Social Standing
Giphy"I had no idea my low social status could keep my posts from going live."
" 🥺 That explains a lot"
-Intelligent-Snow-138
"This is to prevent new accounts bots from polluting the place, your karma will rack up quickly as you interact with people, give and get awards, etc."
-Duuuuuuuuuuh
"I just gave you a my gifted silver award… now it’s prompting me to buy more awards."
"I didn’t realize people were paying to give awards and now I went from wondering 'how' to wondering 'why'…"
-BlondeBimbo123456789
A/S/L
"It irritates me to no end when people treat Reddit like it's a 90s forum used by 37 people."
" 'I'm new here, first time poster' "
-UnusualGenePool
"a/s/l ?"
-Tokugawa
"My first reply to a question like that was '14/not yet/home'."
"I was a dumb kid in the 90s."
-jazzmester
"I like to say: I don't really know American Sign Language, but I am trying to learn"
-TheAres1999
In The First Place
george w bush door GIFGiphy"Joining reddit in the first place"
-UselessAndUnlovable
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
-RoboTurbo2
" 'Relax, ' said the night man, 'We are programmed to receive'."
-Glock1Omm
"Exactly. Leaving is the easy part. It's staying away that's tough."
-CobaltHeadHunter
"Reddit is like Runescape. You never stop once you start. You just take breaks"
-Merry_Dankmas
Lurk Hard, Play Hard
Tim And Eric Reaction GIFGiphy"LURK MORE."
"Spend some time in a subreddit before commenting."
"Read the rules, read the FAQ, read the top-voted posts. Spend a week and see what topics come up often. Search prior posts which discuss the same topic you want to post about."
-whomp1970
"I browsed comments for like a year before I even made an account."
-Gsusruls
"I wish that I could remember what comment I needed to make so badly that I created an account after more than a year of lurking."
-lotus_eater123
This.
"When you comment 'This.' under someone else’s comment."
"Just give them your upvote and move on, no need to comment if you aren’t adding anything meaningful to the topic"
-Crewso
"underrated comment"
-milesmac
"Louder for the people in the back!"
-the_amazing_lee01
"THIS"
-Demonic321_zse
Believe
"Believing everything you read and at the same time disbelieving everything you read that goes against your personal opinion/narrative."
"Having a healthy dose of skepticism without being a jerk about it is a good life skill in general."
-CobaltHeadHunter
"Yup but that’s not just reddit rookies, that’s 80% of the global population."
-mini-mum-wage
"A good habit I’m working to build is whenever I have a question about anything, even if I’m thinking to myself, I google it."
"It helps build a strong knowledge base."
-CobaltHeadHunter
Shh
jim carey comedy GIFGiphy"Responding to every reply to your AskReddit post."
"Just shhhh"
-ZsaFreigh
"I do this LOL. I like doing it because I asked a question and people have responded, so I respond back because I want them to know that I read it and found what they said interesting."
-mini-mum-wage
"I do it because I have nothing else to do."
-Cheap_Ad_69
"Every comment boosts the likelihood that the post will survive more than an hour."
"Askreddit new is brutal. Unless you get a bunch of comments or karma within 30 minutes or so, your post will die a quiet death."
"Then its really just shh"
-lotus_eater123
And there you have it - a survival manual for the wildest place I'm the universe.
Reddit.
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Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
Travel GIF by Grish MajethiyaGiphy"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
Smoke Smoking GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
Tired Good Night GIF by HBO MaxGiphy"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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