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Exhausted Teachers Reveal What Made Them Retire On The Spot

Exhausted Teachers Reveal What Made Them Retire On The Spot

Exhausted Teachers Reveal What Made Them Retire On The Spot

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Teaching is one of the most noble, but also most difficult professions a person can go into. It literally shapes the future! There can be days, though, where it feels less like shaping the future and more like a slow descent into madness. On those days, it's perfectly natural to want to throw your hands in the air like you just don't care. One Reddit user was apparently feeling that funk, because they asked:

Teachers who quit, when was the moment you realized that it wasn't for you?

The answers they got were eye-opening, gut-wrenching, and thought-provoking. Some were even giggle-inducing. We picked 20 of the ones that hit us the hardest. So take your places, everyone. Class is officially in session.

Nobody Else Cared

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No me but my wife. She was an engineer at a good company on the east coast. Left because she wanted more rewarding work. Soon after she is doing clinicals at a school on the rough side of our home town. She was the kind of student teacher who showed up early, ate lunch with the kids, stayed late, and followed up with parents. Anyway....

Some months in she has repeatedly had trouble with some students (they came from troubled homes and brought a lot with them into the class each day). She tried working with them one on one, working with the administration, and the parents. More than one set of parents said "Stop calling." And the administration told her to send them to the principal's office (where they could sit all day) and focus on the "good" kids.

Eventually, the futility set in.... She was the only one who cared. Not the kids, administration, other teachers, or even their parents. She finally wore herself out after a couple years with no support at work and no one appreciating her efforts (except me of course!).

She's back in aerospace now.

6 Weeks

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I worked in a high needs behavior class. I got hit, punched, scratched and spat on daily, but every day I went back and did my best for those kids. It was sickening, but I loved my job and every one of those kids.

One day was called to the office to talk. It was Christmas time and things weren't great at home and as anyone with kids knows the holidays makes children especially high strung so things were also wild in the classroom. My boss said "you seem awfully stressed" and I thought how nice of her to notice so I agreed that yes I was struggling. She said "you have 6 weeks to sort it out or I'll have to let you go".

I was crushed. It literally broke me. 6 weeks to get less stressed...how does that even work? I found myself just showing up to show up and I realized that wasn't fair for me or for the kids.

6 weeks later I get a call back to the office. I am congratulated on the amazing turn around and sent back to class. I was baffled. I was more upset and stressed than ever and they congratulate me?

More and more I showed up to work just for the paycheck. One day I just decided screw it, I wasn't a teacher anymore I was a robot fearful of showing any negativity . I quit that week. Never went back to teaching.

Horrible Home Life

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I had a behaviorally-difficult student, maybe 11 or 12, sitting with me and having pizza. I asked how her life was going and she says "Well, my dad's a drug dealer so he's always got people coming over to sell or buy drugs or play cards so I can't sleep. My mom's dying because she has a hole in her heart and they can't fix it. And I have a boyfriend but I'm afraid to tell my mom because she'll tell my dad" Just normal, like this was everyday stuff.

So, as a mandatory reporter I go to my Dean of Students and tell him all this, and he just gets irritated and goes "Yeah, but that doesn't excuse her behavior."

That's when I knew I was done.

Teaching Isn't Teaching Anymore

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I taught high school English for ten years before finally quitting for the corporate sector. Honestly, it was a lot of small things that built and built until I realized it wasn't where I wanted to be. The largest of those "small things" is stifling focus on standardized testing. I lost weeks and weeks to test prep at every grade level. I couldn't teach novels I loved teaching because I ran out of time. And those standardized tests are useless, they prove nothing but offer schools a pat on the back for the high performance results. Which, mind you, do not transfer at all to college success. And too many public schools force the idea of college. Why? Is it because it's for the betterment of the kids? Hell no, it looks good on their graduation statistics. But, there is nothing wrong with not going to college. And I'd tell that to my AP students as much as my kids with the 12 average for the year. You have a 3.8 GPA and want to be a plumber? You go. You be a plumber. F*ck, you'll make more than the rest of us.

I was once told I shouldn't do so many lessons where discussion between students was required. No more Socratic seminars, there had to be more "material that could be graded." I can't encourage discussion in an English literature class because I can't grade the kids on it. And don't even get me started on quantitative vs. qualitative. Teachers are being held accountable for students who "don't improve" regardless of anything else. Jimmy doesn't come to school for three months because he's f_cking off and then shows back up and fails the midterm? That's on YOU buddy, should have taught him better for the two weeks you had him at the start of the year.

I eventually got tired of the constant hurdles and stupid state requirements. People said "Yeah, but you get a pension! Unions! Summers off!" So the f*ck what? I'm in corporate now and I make 31K more than I did teaching with a yearly bonus and a matching 401k with profit sharing. And bitch, please, I never had a summer off. I worked two jobs to make ends meet from June to September. Most teachers do.

What kills me is that I loved teaching. I loved my students and I was good at what I did. I was good at encouraging kids to take risks with their learning and I didn't penalise them for making mistakes. That's how you learn. You don't learn shit from multiple choice and you never will. I miss my kids, I miss watching them go from hating a piece to being eager to discuss it. Even my lowest level students could show me something, even if it wasn't on paper.

It wasn't my students that killed my love for teaching. And I DID have kids throw chairs or get into fights or tell me to f*ck off, all of that? That was doable. And I did it. The stupid, useless requirements and the idiotic state testing, the abysmal pay for the hours and hours I put in. That killed my love for teaching. And it's killing plenty of other young, passionate educators. I miss my students. I miss everything about teaching, when I was allowed to teach. Now? It's not teaching. If you want to teach, get into higher education or a private school. Do yourself a favour and stay out of public education in the United States. It doesn't exist anymore.

Knife Fight

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Two 16 year old kids were facing each other (I had the classroom seats in a U shape) and were silently challenging each other to fight while I was in the middle of a lesson. They suddenly jumped up from their chairs and came at each other with eight inch knives with me in between them.

I was pretty built, having been a stonemason's apprentice in college to help pay my way through, but these kids were both bigger than me. Without thinking I grabbed each by their collars and shouted SIT. DOWN.

I didn't start shaking until that evening. I was done a week later.

Pay Raise

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When the corporate job offered me three times the salary AND a 12% annual bonus.

Now, my kids can afford to go to the college where dad used to teach.

Small Town Nepotism

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Nepotism is a major problem in smaller school districts. Yes men, family members, and friends will get hired as the school system is one of the better paying jobs in the county. All of this is done in return for loyalty and not questioning if decisions are best for the kids.

One of the bigger nails in the coffin was when I was pepper sprayed by the school resource officer AFTER myself and another teacher had broken up a fight and were sending students back to class. He sprayed to "disperse the crowd" spraying myself and our female assistant principle in the face and causing three students to have asthma attacks. For as little as I was being paid, I could find a safer place to work where people were less incompetent.

Literally Illiterate

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When I tested the reading level of a 19 year old girl, and it registered at 1st grade. Since she was on FRL and English Language services, she would ding the school in two "at risk" categories for our graduation rate. I told the administration "This girl is illiterate in English. We know this as a fact. She cannot graduate, no ifs, ands, or buts." Smash cut to 3 weeks later as she's walking across the stage in a cap and gown to receive a diploma she can't read. Sad. At that point, I knew my job wasn't serving at risk youths, it was playing a numbers game to bill taxpayer money to prop up a failing system. No thanks.

4 Days

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  • School started the Monday before Labor day. I was hired the Friday before Labor day.
  • Not once did anybody talk to me about how I only had 3 days to start planning math lessons or offer to help get me on my feet.
  • I had to drive 90 minutes one way, which meant leaving the house at 0500 and not getting home until 1800 and still having to make lesson plans for the next day.
  • My 1st class was all ESL students. Administration determined that despite being present for all their other classes, an ESL teacher's presence was not necessary in my classroom.
  • My 2nd class was 16-21 year old 8th graders.
  • My 3rd class was 30 7th graders. I had 24 desks.
  • I was never given so much as an orientation. I still could not find anything but my classroom.
  • It was an inner city school with inner city school problems.

I lasted 4 days. I never got paid.

"Berlin's In GERMANY?!"

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So a while back I was a permanent sub for a German teacher in the area I lived (she went on maternity leave). And in this German class I'd also talk about geography and what not. So anyway, near the end of the school year, I was talking about how Berlin...

"Wait wait wait... Berlin's in Germany?! I thought it was in Europe!"

It was at that moment, that I realized I failed as a teacher.

Well, Honesty Is Everything

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When I realized getting drunk and cooking epic meals was way more enjoyable.

"I Think Grades Are Stupid"

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I went to a national teaching conference and nearly every single speaker was an excellent and passionate educator. AND nearly every single speaker talked about how their administration impeded progress, innovation, and generally sucked. I had been hoping it was only my school.

I also realized that I think grades are stupid. I had liked them as a student because I was good at things, but watching students struggle when they lacked the aptitude to excel in the same way some of their peers could, but still busted their butts hoping for that A made me sad.

I think learning should be more student led than test driven, and more interdisciplinary in nature. Basically, I think our educational system goes against research and kills intrinsic motivation and curiosity.

Film Studies

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I was written up by the principal for "always showing movies in my class."

It was a Film Studies elective.

Oh.

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When it would have taken 43 years to pay off my degree at a teachers salary.

Changing Grades

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When the principal said she would change my grade book. I had several fights with her and the master teacher on how to run my class. They wanted someone to do handouts everyday, which I wasn't going to do since I had to buy my own paper, and give out grades based only on worksheets. I told her I was there to teach and that's what I did. It's not my fault some of the students didn't want to try or turn anything in. The funny part was that my standardized test score and benchmark scores had the highest growth rate but my grade book had the most students getting Cs and Ds. I was planning to curve but once she said she was changing the grades I was done.

Well, Better To Find Out Now

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I didn't even make it to being a teacher. During my final segment of student teacher in a urban High School I got my tires slashed after placing the school star running back into ISS and was not able to play in the next game.

Confessions Of A Bad Teacher

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I only taught for one year. The moment I knew it wasn't for me was my second day.

I was hired by a failing school district taken over by the state board of education. I thought I was hired for high school biology, but I was placed as the 7th and 8th grade science teacher. It was a rural school (7th-12th grade) with 200 students.

My first class decided to have a riot on my second day. They picked up books and threw them, knocked over the desks, and ran around the class laughing and having a grand time. No disciplinary action was taken. I was told I needed better classroom management skills. This only increased the problems throughout the year.

I really became an expensive baby sitter the whole year. Most of my students didn't care to learn. I couldn't find a way to teach them so I gave up on teaching right before Christmas break.

After the holidays, I stopped turning in my weekly lesson plans. I found a write up form in my box every week for a few weeks, but no one ever came to me and asked why I didn't. Eventually, I stopped getting them.

I would just print work sheets for the kids to do. I think I had the only students who were tired of watching bill nye.

I was a sh_tty teacher in a sh_tty school. I should of been fired. The sad part was I was offered another contract for the following year. I declined. I now am in restaurant management making $25k more a year than I would in education.

Grading A Kid Who Wasn't There

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To me, it wasn't the students. It was seeing the caliber of teachers that surrounded them. Four months into one school year, I finally found out that the kid that wasn't in my roster was suppose to be in English class with another teacher. When I asked the other teacher about it, he showed me his attendance and grade books showing that the student was present most days. The student also somehow had an average grade of 78. In short, the 7th grade English teacher was making up attendance and grades.

Kids can't succeed if teachers don't care enough to see if they're actually there. I then thought I could catalyze more impactful change by working in tech.

Useless Knowledge

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When a kid asked me "why do I gotta know what a verb is?", and I couldn't think of a good answer.

H/T: Reddit

People Share The Best Advice For Someone Starting Their First Job

Reddit user CampDreamy asked: 'What advice would you give someone starting their first job?''

man holding book on road during daytime
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Starting your first job is always nerve-wracking. The start of anything new usually is. That's why it's helpful to get some advice.

Before I started my first job, a friend of mine told me that there were a lot of things I should be willing to do in order to become indispensable, but one thing I should never do is give up lunch.

Even if it's a busy day and everyone is working through lunch, take five minutes to buy something at the deli next door or pop something in the microwave. You will not do your best work if you do not eat a meal.

I was very glad to get that advice, and it was something I always followed.

I also followed my own personal rule of writing down the process to do anything at work, even if it was as simple as where to look for a particular file. Anytime I thought 'oh, I'll remember,' I ended up having to ask again. It's always better to write it down so you not only know how to do it, but are the one that people come to when they need to know how to do it.

I'm not the only one that has good advice for someone starting their first job. Redditors are full of advice and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor CampDreamy asked:

"What advice would you give someone starting their first job?"

Think Positive

"95% of success is showing up on-time and not having a bad attitude."

– Firebolt164

"There’s a quote that goes something like: you don’t need an advanced degree to show up on time, work hard, and have a positive attitude."

"I basically used this as my mantra as I built my career (and still do)."

– tyrannosean

"This has been my experience in my first ~5 years of employment. Being someone that people enjoy interacting with, sticking to deadlines, and broadly trying to make lives easier rather than harder will get you pretty close to the top, and it’s a lot easier than working overtime every day."

– 2catsinatrenchcoat

"Yep, when I was younger I always thought that just showing up on time, being a decent person to work with, and doing a good job were the bare minimum that everyone did....I learned later that this will put you above approximately 90% of your co-workers."

– raoulduke212

Sound Advice

"Poop on company time."

– 1320Fastback

"Well, sh*t."

– CampDreamy

"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."

– mrselfdestruct066

Everyone Makes Mistakes

"Don't worry about f**king up. You're going to f**k up. We all f**k up. Constantly."

"Learn from it when you f**k it up so you do it better next time and you'll be the best employee in any job."

– MaximumZer0

"And when (not if) you f**k up, own up to it, and do your best to fix it. It's way easier to fix a mistake when it first happens than 3 weeks or even hours down the line. This applies to basically any field."

– super5aj123

Gossip Girl

"Listen to gossip if you want, but never spread it."

– GamerMomLife

"Yep. I worked in a private pool snack bar kitchen last summer, and nearly all of my coworkers were high school girls. The amount of sh*t they talked on each other was insane, but I just tried my best to not get involved. It never became anything other than sh*t-talking, but it's just a good idea in general to keep your head down."

– super5aj123

"I work in a kitchen with majority middle-aged women, and it's simular to what you described."

– DeadStar800

Do It All

"If they tell you to sweep, just sweep. You still make the same amount. Unless you’re an MD or something else, in that case you’re f**ked!"

– PublicEnema11

"A programmer consultant I knew in the 90s lived by the motto "it all pays the same.""

"You want him to spend his $50/hr time doing things that an unpaid intern could handle? Sounds like an easy day."

– Cacafuego

(Don't) Let It Burn, Burn, Burn

"Don’t burn bridges if you quit or get fired."

– kbrown423

""Never cut what you can untie.""

"- Robert Frost"

– sophistt_

It's All Public

"Assume everybody in the company plus clients will read every email you send."

– CouchieWouchie

"Yeah this is genuinely a great rule that will save your @ss. Write every email as if it will be read by the whole org."

– FrungyLeague

"Also speak as though anything you say is being recorded."

– squished_frog

Protect Yourself

"Document EVERYTHING. Every time punch. Every direction from your supervisor."

– DejectedDonut

"Do this if you are working outside your duties/responsibilities as well, or directed to do things. You want a paper trail of why you did what you did if something screwy happens."

"Ideally, the work place should concentrate on policy, protocol, training, engineering and admin controls and such... but well stuff isnt always ideal."

– Zech08

Work Friends

"You're going to feel tempted to make strong relationships with your coworkers - but remember that you shouldn't share with anyone what you wouldn't want known by everyone. You may think you can trust someone, but you should have a bit of caution."

"A lot of work relationships feel a bit like a friendship, but they are not. If they move on, or you do, it is rare that you will stay in touch. Accept it for what it is."

– Mobtor

Education

"Take advantage of tuition reimbursement to get degrees/certifications that will benefit your career and don't worry about "owing" the company for it."

"Many industries have pretty generous tuition reimbursement programs where they cover your school but you owe them time after they cut those checks. A typical program might have a requirement that if you leave the company you need to pay back anything they had paid out in the last two years."

"The thing is that you want to leverage that degree for a salary jump and the current company won't give it to you because they have you "locked" in now, right?"

"So you interview for your next job and when that company gives you an offer you explain that you're on the hook for the tuition reimbursement at your old company "and since you will be getting the benefit of that education I will need a signing bonus to cover my financial obligation to my current employer.""

"Keep in mind that the signing bonus will be taxable income so you need to shoot for an amount that will have taxes taken out and leave what you need to pay back the tuition."

"I've known too many people who didn't get a degree that could have really helped them but they didn't want to be "on the hook" to their employer. I even know one guy who spent close to $30k out of his own pocket to get a master's degree because he didn't want to "be stuck here" when he was done."

– tacknosaddle

The Little Moments Matter

"Don’t miss any major life events (or the major life events of close family/friends) for work. You might feel pressure from your employer not to take the time off."

"The family/friends will still be around for many years, the first job probably won’t."

– mxxiestorc

Learn To Save

"Pension! Pension! Pension!"

"Put as much as you can afford to into your pension. Retirement might seem a lifetime away but the sooner you save for it the sooner you can achieve it."

– Grayzo

Money, Money, Money

"Pack a lunch! Eating out can put a huge dent in your paycheck!"

– awileycat

"Can't stress this enough. For the price of eating out unhealthy food for 1 day you can usually pack healthier lunch for 2-3 days."

– QuantumExileMusic

Oh, yes! I found out about that last one the hard way...and still haven't learned!

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Photo by Aron Visuals

Just the other evening, I was walking home, and I barely survived.

I tripped on a dead tree branch.

The next thing I knew, I was flying in the air and landing on my back.

My belongings were strewn about.

And my to-go burger was dead.

A simple walk.

A simple dead branch.

And almost lights out.

Redditor Typical_XJW wanted to hear about the times people eluded death, so they asked:

"How did you almost die?"

Don't even get me started on any and every car ride.

We're always moments from the end on highways.

Back in the Day...

Hunger Games Student GIFGiphy

"Almost drowned when I was 5 or 6, been hospitalized twice for sepsis between 2016 and 2019, and had a stroke this year. I'm 29."

ChristmasKid88

On the Disk

"MRSA infection in the disk on my lower spine between L5 and S1. Showed up two days after a cortisone shot but the hospital said it was from something else. Was in hospital 25 days multiple emergency surgeries."

EatA**FromBack

"I worked for a doctor who did these in-house and other procedures, and it 100% made me not trust medical facilities, cleanliness, and sterilization procedures. Had about twenty patients all come down with the same gut infection, 'coincidentally,' the same patients who came in for endoscopy procedures the same day."

dimlylit_

Saved

"Saving a younger friend from drowning, he panicked and almost took me out."

loztriforce

"Had that happen with a younger cousin when we were kids. His brother and I went to save him, he climbed on both of us and pushed us under. Lifeguard didn’t even see us until he pulled younger cousin out of the water, then we popped up gasping for air."

coffeejunki

Shucked

"16-year-old farm kid me, stepdad told me to go pick up a load of corn seed for planting. I had gone with him many times before, and driven the truck (full ton dually diesel) and hauled light stuff with it. Nobody told me how different it is to haul 10,000 lbs of seed on a big flatbed trailer on gravel. I had a lot of common sense and was driving slowly and carefully."

"Still… 10,000+ lbs pushed me down a gravel hill skidding, praying to god I stopped before the stop sign at the T intersection to a busy highway. I came to a grinding halt JUST as the front of the truck crossed the plane where the gravel turned to asphalt. A semi was coming from one direction and regular cars from the other. I shudder thinking about what if on that one. Don’t let untrained kids tow potentially deadly, heavy trailers, with zero training."

datnetcoder

Finding Tracks

College Sports Sport GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy

"Was backwoods camping in Yellowstone and if I hadn’t considered for 30 seconds if I REALLY needed to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have walked out of my tent headfirst into a brown bear, which I heard before leaving and found tracks of next to my tent in the morning. Spookiest moment of my life in hindsight."

danvo5

Bears are a no go for me.

Camping is an even bigger HECK NO!!

Several Strikes

Reassuring Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy

"Twice. 1. Woke up to my apartment on fire."

"2. Hit head-on by a drunk driver on a small bus, just after everyone got off bus exploded."

lizard_king0000

Oh Barb

"Lmao okay, so I was getting my teeth cleaned, and I got nitrous oxide because I have so many exposed roots. Well, my hygienist at the time was this lovely lady from Minnesota. Kinda flaky, but super sweet, and talked about her family all the time. So I'm in the chair and she hooks up my mask, and away we go. I actually fell asleep! Except not so much."

"Turns out Barb had forgotten to turn the oxygen on and had been feeding me straight nitrous. She only noticed because I started gasping for air while unconscious. So that's how I almost died at the dentist. I never saw Barb again, but I tell you, that was the best nap of my life!"

CharismaticAlbino

Climb Up

"I was snorkeling. I had my other stuff stored on a rock by the water, about 3 meters high. When I got out, I decided to climb straight up. Almost at the top, the rock I was hoisting myself up on came off and I fell back first onto the coral. If a friendly wave hadn’t come in, I would have broken my back, at least."

Yugan-Dali

Blood Loss

"I was diagnosed with a rare fatal blood disorder from birth, doctors projected I’d live till about 6 and then die from massive blood loss. As this was the mid-90s, they tested the idea of using stem cells from my sibling's umbilical cord; administering the first successful stem cell transplant from a sibling donor and I’m still here to tell the tale!"

Material_Cry1697

These were some tremendously close calls.

Do you have any near-death experiences to share? Let us know in the comment below.

Paper heart ripped in half
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

When it comes to the dating scene, most of us have a pretty low opinion of people who choose to cheat on their partners, not to mention serial cheaters.

But that doesn't seem to stop some people from doing the deed.

Curious, Redditor miaah214 asked:

"People who have cheated before, why did you do it?"

Revenge Cheat

"He cheated first, and I was young, petty, and thought revenge would make me feel better."

- Witch_on_a_moped

Immature and Selfish

"Unbridled ego, unsatisfying regular sex life, and a girl who threw herself at me."

"I was an idi*t, I acted like an a**hole, and I will regret it for the rest of my life."

"It was a hard truth to face. It was a dark time in my life where my ego and my immaturity caused me to hurt several people I loved."

"Fortunately, I learned from it, and while I can't take back the pain I caused, at least now I know that I am 100% capable of being an a**hole and so can choose not to be one."

- Seba_King

Insecurity

"Insecurity. I was always on the lookout for someone who would make me feel more desirable than the last. It was a serious youthful lack of judgment."

"Once I grew up emotionally, I realized what a piece of s**t I was and the hurt I caused. Hard to live with, to be honest."

- Penfold_for_PM

Just Desire

"100% pure lust. That’s it. I’m not proud of it."

- mydepressingpoems

Lots of Options

"Willing partners. It was amazing how many times when I did have a steady girlfriend that I would suddenly get propositioned by random women or worse yet, my girlfriend's friends or sisters."

"Too many times to be a fluke."

"It was like they figured if you are in a relationship, you're worth pursuing."

"But when I was single, most times I couldn't get a woman's attention."

"So it was an ego boost, but ultimately, I decided to be a better person, and I met a person who I truly thought was 'the one.'"

"And to a certain extent I did, it just didn't last through no fault of my own."

- Patient-Quarter-1684

In Need of Validation

"When you grow up being in turn neglected and told you're not good enough, validation is like a drug, and intimacy is the ultimate validation."

"Sooooo much therapy to undo this."

- RowhammerBitflip

"This. I’m just recently realizing how I didn’t receive enough attention and validation from my parents and how much it’s influenced my choices. Meeting someone and having them be into me physically is the easiest validation boost I can find."

"People who grew up with parents actually interested in them and with an instilled sense of self-confidence don’t know how good they have it."

"I don’t inherently feel important or relevant so I’m always looking for someone to tell me otherwise."

- tellitothemoon

The Thrill of It

"Because I was a f**king a**hole 20-year-old who only thought of himself and getting some action. The high of it."

"I'm 37 now. No cheating since then."

- Temporary_Fault6402

The Real Joy

"My ex was done in the bedroom and even said they were no longer interested in me physically or sexually."

"I should have left at that point, but with kids and the financial hit of divorce, I just looked to fulfill that need."

"I later divorced, and it was a big financial hit, but oh my god, what a relief it was getting out. Getting out of an abusive relationship is where the true pleasure comes from."

- loomdog1

In Need of Attention

"My partner cheated on me shortly after I had his baby. I wanted to leave, but I convinced myself to stay. The logistics of having a baby and 24-hour care are challenging on your own. He refused to have sex with me."

"At some point, someone got me in a weak spot. Somewhere between exhaustion, low self-esteem, and the sheer opportunity of having an orgasm were too strong for me. I’m deeply ashamed."

"Shortly after I picked myself up, the relationship ended. I should have left sooner."

"Someone telling you that you are beautiful, talented, and special after being invisible can feel like a drug. I don’t expect sympathy from anyone for my actions. But I do have a lot of sympathy for others now."

- throwawaythrowyellow

The Easier Option

"Because I chose a cowardly and easy path. Instead of going to therapy and ending my toxic relationship, I cheated on them with someone who I had convinced myself I was in love with and loved me."

"As it turns out, breaking up with someone is a lot less harmful to everyone involved than cheating."

- dodongosbongos

Devastating Choices

"Not me, but a guy friend cheated and the reason he gave was that he loved his fiancée but they had very different sex drives."

"He also said that when he brought it up to her (the difference in their sex drives and the problems it would cause) she begged him not to leave and insisted it wouldn’t be an issue."

"He told her it already WAS an issue and, as a last resort, she said she would understand if SOME DAY he felt the need to look elsewhere…just as long as she never found out."

"The girl admitted to saying all this but explained that she would have said anything for them to stay together in that moment, she didn’t think he’d actually be 'f**ked up enough to cheat' and she never imagined he would do it so soon."

- Dramiotic

The Perfect Combination

"A perfect storm of poor impulse control, untreated mental illness, and boredom."

"People on the moral high ground will tell you not to cheat for reasons like morality and integrity; from the moral low ground, I can tell you that the lifelong guilt, shame, and remorse are not worth it."

- LowCarbBeesechussy

Emotionally Done

"Because the relationship was done and I was already moving on emotionally. I just didn't care about her enough to care whether she was hurt or not. Honestly, in hindsight, I have zero idea why we were still together. It DID make the eventual breakup a lot messier."

"I was young and it taught me an important lesson. If you're done, just be done and leave. There's no point in dragging it out. If you're ready to start looking for another relationship, start by ending the relationship you're already in."

- codefyre

Ready to Make Up for It

"I had a perceived lack of affection. I felt ugly and disgusting and like I was just an emotional tampon."

"I would never do it again. In therapy, I learned a lot about the reasons I did what I did and in all honesty, if she would even entertain the idea of trying again, I’d spend every day making up for it and making sure she felt more love then can be imagined."

"I’m currently fulfilling into the man I know I can be. I just wish it took a more positive trigger in order to start that for me."

- Anthonys455

Let's end it -- the article, that is -- on a lighter note.

The Worst Kind of Cheating

"My wife wasn’t around. The house was empty."

"I couldn’t wait for her to get home, so I watched the next episode without her knowing."

"Honey, if you’re reading this… I’m so sorry."

- six6sickx

"You're a monster."

- Efficient_Ad_8367

It's so hard to imagine what's going on inside someone else's head or why they might choose to do the things that they do, especially if it's something we don't agree with.

It's at least heartening to see that many of these Redditors used these experiences as learning opportunities and have since gone on to treat the most treasured people in their lives a little differently.

Smartphone showing a lighting switch app
Moritz Kindler/Unsplash

Making yourself feel at home takes work but not as much as you think.

Homeowners, for example, are apprehensive about renovations because of how much costs.

Even tenants renting a home can feel like they're stuck in a situation where they don't feel comfortable because of minor inconveniences they think requires major solutions to fix.

Cut to this Reddit thread, where the ideas for affordable home improvement options were shared that may make you wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Curious to hear some tips from strangers online, Redditor Super_dupa2 asked:

"What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?"

We tend to overcomplicate things when solutions can be simplified.

Taking Charge

"Methodically buying phone chargers with long enough cables to not have to ever move one again."

– ihadtowalkhere

"I am a pretty mellow dad (benign neglect parenting style for 5 kids) but I have two rules. Nobody messes with my bedside charger and nobody steals my two pillows."

"So, as such, I make many, long chargers available for everybody. It costs me a fortune:)"

– nicktam2010

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

"Blackout curtains for sleeping. Such a game changer."

– blehbleh1122

"And they keeps my bedroom cooler."

– BunjaminFrnklin

"Insulated blackout curtains make a 10f difference in my living room on hot days."

– TryUsingScience

A Cool Idea

"Attic heat exhaust fan. Our attic used to get up to 140F on the hottest days, and on those days our ceilings were hot to the touch. The whole house was consequently uncomfortable. Now the attic fan is thermostatically controlled to 90 degrees, and the whole house is cooler."

– jermleeds

"I added a passive whirly bird that does the same thing. Heat rises and escapes before it can accumulate to those extreme levels. It also happens to be clear acrylic so now there's always light up there too which helps keep away any vermin.

– cantwejustplaynice

No major bathroom renovations are required to make tenants happy.

No More Slamming

"Soft close cabinets and toilet seats."

– AreWeCowabunga

"We have a soft close toilet seat at our home and every time I'm at a hotel, I completely forget that they aren't usually soft close and the slam startles me 😂"

– PinkHamster08

Nozzle Upgrades Can Do The Trick

"A better shower. If you can't redo the whole bathroom, just replace the head. This also works if you rent, just keep the old one in a box, so you can bring the nice one to your next house."

– maartenvanheek

"I'm a renter and I finally installed a better shower head this year, after just using the default head in all my apartments for almost 20 years. 10/10, highly recommend."

– Am_I_a_Guinea_Pig

Perfect Welcoming Gesture

"My wife and I own a smallish apartment complex . One of the things we do every time a new tenant arrives is replace the toilet seat. I learned that trick from my parents who had about a dozen single-family rentals. It's amazing the goodwill you receive from a tenant simplify giving them a new toilet seat. We actually put the box behind the toilet so they know it's new."

– YouInternational2152

It's electrifying!

Think Smart

"Smart outlets for Christmas lights, both inside and outside. I have them scheduled to turn on at sunset and turn off at midnight."

– Revolutionary-Try746

"Smart outlets are one of my favorite purchases. During Halloween and Christmas, we’re using multiple outlets for inflatables, house lights, and tree lights. The smart outlets allow you to have everything synced so they all turn in at the same time."

– cppadam

Things Are Looking Bright

"Replaced dated lighting fixtures - fixtures are now properly grounded, the interior looks more updated, and there is more/better light."

– SnooCauliflowers9981

Energy Conservation Option

"Motion activated light switch for the laundry room. Never have to worry about turning off the light when leaving with an arm full of clothing."

– AmazingAsian

Creating an environment can make a huge difference.

Source Lighting For The Win

"Lighting can absolutely make a huge difference in the way you feel in your room. Get some shoulder height (when you are sitting) lamps for your living room. You will notice a shift in how much more relaxed you feel when you use those instead of the overheads."

– ShoesAreTheWorst

Home Art Gallery

"Spending a day mounting my artwork. It felt so much more like my home after that."

– GinGimlet

"Every time I've moved, I put that off for way too long, then finally break down and do it and the house feels so much better to be in."

– Triolion

One major upgrade was our VE hybrid tech water boiler and warmer we got from Japan.

The Zojirushi kitchen appliance uses VE, or vacuum electric, technology for very minimal electricity to maintain the water temperature at a constant 195° so we always have hot water at the touch of a button.

There's no more time wasted boiling hot water over the stove every time we want tea or the occasional instant cup noodles.

Game changer.