Sometimes what we as humans crave most is a bit of structure. And prison can provide that. You have a routine, guaranteed meals and a bed. Often that is all most people ask for, and you'd be surprised how much that trumps the ability to be free.
Redditor u/JSBach1995 wanted the reformed criminals out there to share.... Ex-convicts of reddit, is there anything you miss about prison? If so, what?
Endless games of pinochle.
I did two years and played so much pinochle. I cant even get 4 people together to play out here. That's the only thing I really miss. Besides not having any actual responsibility. scouch4703
I can't find most of the good commissary items anywhere. They had some really good mackerel in chili sauce, specific brands of instant coffee (Keefe, Boston's Best) Some kind of Thai Noodles, chips etc. I have found Keefe coffee for sale on Ebay, but at like 3x the price. Ridiculous. Boston's best is available but not the kind we had. That was awesome, and what got me drinking coffee. Crank_8ball
Warm Down Time.....
I liked that I felt secure. I wasn't gonna starve. I wasn't gonna freeze or die of exposure. I liked that I had nothing to worry about. But it wasn't worth owning nothing and having nothing. It was boring as hell. Djinnobi
Poop & Circumstance....
A lot of guys can't handle reintegrating into society after they've been in a while, it's not that they miss how fun being locked up is, they just have years of living a certain way engrained in them. Whether it's too much free/unstructured time or working with others, you sadly see a lot of repeat customers in the legal field. One guy got out after like 18 months and less than 3 weeks later got picked up again for pulling a shotgun on his neighbor for his dog pooping on his lawn. He genuinely didn't see anything wrong with what he did as he didn't load it, but unfortunately that doesn't mean poop to the law. To him he was just negotiating from a position of strength with the neighbor, but he ended up getting hit with felon in possession of a firearm, assault with a deadly weapon, and a couple other ticky tacky charges they pile on.
Some guys just get in trouble for no reason other than they have too much time and no one will hire them. They go from being assigned a job and have someone telling them when to wake up, when to go outside, when to eat, and then suddenly there's no guidance at all. A couple guys I'd have to call them the morning of their court or probation to remind them even though I told them the day before to set their alarm. It's extremely sad but with guys that got in the system at a young age it's not uncommon to see a 40 year old man who lives like a teenager because he's never had to make a decision about where to go or what to do. Something as simple as choosing a pair of socks to buy is a legitimate dilemma, one guy mentioned that specifically as the moment he realized he wasn't used to having to make so many decisions. Reddit
Was in a juvenile facility for 3 years, food much better than I feed myself now in college and the social hierarchy, as screwed as it was, it could be comforting. I'm much less social nowadays so I guess I just miss being social in general. Also staff was pretty dope when they weren't getting fired for breaking kids arms etc. datkidcorb
Water pressure. It was cleansing. StarbuckPirate
There were a couple really hot guards, but I'm not sure if they were really hot or I was just sex deprived. I don't think it's worth it to go back and figure it out. MixedMartyr
I'm not an ex-con but my dad was, for drunk driving. Before then he was a very successful businessman but alcohol got him.
When he came out he told me he missed the wardens because they were nice to him, they recognized he was a normal guy who screwed up. He missed the sense of everyone just trying to get through it together, and he only did a few months.
On a side note, my dad was quite arrogant and always had to win. So he smuggled cannabis out of prison just to prove he could. Upon being released he wrapped a bit up and put it in his shampoo bottle so it would float to the top, just behind the label on the bottle neck. If he got caught? Another three months. But my dad had to take his win. kitjen
I missed the solitude of being alone. I did about 47 months, from age 19-23. I missed the feeling of coming home and everything was so new, I respected everything and was so thankful for a new start. Inside, I missed the brotherhood of those around me, that I ran with. The loyalty in there is something you don't find out here. The learning and humility factor was awesome; it was good being tore down and built new. mychal_littlecreek
Many people lie or exaggerate about seemingly little things. For example, I've wondered if many are lying or at the very least stretching the truth about the number of partners they've had.
One of those strange things where half of the people are lying and making the number higher, and the other half are lying and making it lower.
It's funny, isn't it? But you do you! What do we know?
People shared some of their thoughts with us after Redditor SleepingOmibozu asked the online community,
"What's something you're 100% sure most people are lying about?"
"How much their side hustle nets them."
When it comes to side hustles, everyone is much more successful than they actually are.
"Steroid abuse in the fitness industry."
This is a big one. So many people who say they're natural are juicing.
"I have read..."
"I have read and understood the terms and conditions..."
Stop attacking me! I did not ask for this!
"That they don't..."
"That they don’t pick their nose."
Yeah, right. The number of people I've seen digging for gold in public is so high.
"Fully understanding the plot of the Metal Gear Solid series."
I stopped trying to. Do I get a cookie? I'd love one.
"How often they clean..."
"How often they clean their bed sheets."
I'm not even going to ask. I think I will be seriously horrified by the answer.
"If you're not busy..."
"About their productivity levels. If you’re not busy, you’re not a good person."
Yeah, whatever. This is as bad as bragging about not taking breaks at work. It's not a good look.
"So many lies."
"Their income. So many lies."
Many people feel very self conscious about their salaries. It's sad.
"Why they're late."
"Why they’re late."
I'm not late often but when I am it's usually because of something ridiculous where if I said the truth it would sound like a lie.
"Hating the word..."
"Hating the word 'moist.'"
I love the word moist and I won't apologise.
You mean there are still people going on about this? It's just a word, people. Calm down.
Life's a competition, apparently. Take what a lot of people tell you with a grain of salt. That's the best advice.
Have some observations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
I once met a guy who, by all accounts, appeared to have given up. And by that, I mean that they had pretty much decided that life basically ended in the 1970s and early 1980s. He had no interest in modern technology, was remarkably out of the loop when it came to technology or even current events.
This was all very frustrating to witness, but he was actually proud of himself! Proud to not know much–if anything–about the modern world. (And then he complained about how he kept having trouble finding a job.)
It was quite the flex–an unimpressive one at that.
People shared some of their thoughts with us after Redditor metallicmuffin asked the online community,'
"What unimpressive things are people idiotically proud of?"
"Missing breaks at work for a company that wouldn’t care if they died the next day."
This is a big one. It's not cute. Take your break! There's more to life than work!
"Not eating any vegetables. Known a few people state it as if it's some kind of achievement giving themselves constipation."
Knew somebody like this. They wanted to go out on a date.
We did not go out on a date.
"Going into work while sick. Had a coworker who bragged on social media about having strep throat, but was still working because she 'values hard work.'"
Some people appear to have missed the memo that risking other people's health is not a bragging right.
"I know people..."
"Drinking a lot. I know people, grown @ss people in their late 20s, who will brag about passing out on their lawns because they couldn’t make it from the car to the front door."
To be fair, they're in their 20s and most people are idiots then. They might grow out of it!
"I once had..."
"I once had a coworker brag about how dark his pee is."
Are you seriously telling us that they bragged about their kidneys not working correctly?
"I've heard that..."
"Driving better when drunk. I’ve heard that ridiculous statement more times than I should."
If some people seriously believe that, then they should not be allowed to drive.
"I overheard a co-worker recently brag to a girl that he'd already had COVID three times and during his most recent bout, he went to the gym every day that he had it."
There are so, so many things wrong with that person's statement. Can you imagine? "Sure, I got COVID, but at least I didn't miss leg day!"
"I keep hearing people..."
"Not being able to cook. I keep hearing people bragging about how the only thing they can do is boil water."
If you've made it to adulthood and you don't know how to cook for yourself, there's something gravely wrong with this picture.
"Nothing surprises me..."
"Nothing surprises me more than when people are proud of their ignorance."
Knowledge is no guarantee of wisdom but prideful ignorance is proof of its absence.
"I worked with a guy..."
"I worked with a guy who, otherwise very smart, was extremely proud of the fact that he could remove the foil from the neck of a wine bottle without cutting it. He brought it up so many times I lost count. I just let him have it, though, because he seemed to need it."
Of all the things in this thread this is the most reasonable thing to be proud of.
Let's face it, it seems like a lot of people have made over-compensating a part of their personalities.
Sadly, they don't even seem to be doing that all too well, which means we'll continue to be largely unimpressed.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
Who hasn't partaken in a trend everyone was doing at one point, but which quickly became passé?
Indeed, 90's children probably have mountains of POGs which are collecting dust in their parent's attics, and their parent's probably made every effort to hide any pictures of them attempting a mullet.
But seeing the long lineage of fads, from bellbottoms to beanie babies, we can't help but wonder what current trend people will look back on with regret, if not outright disdain, in the not-so-distant future.
Redditor stoopididiotface was curious to hear what the Reddit community thinks will be passé in a matter of time, leading them to ask:
"What current trend will be the most regrettable 20 years from now?"
I update my status much less often these days...
"Posting about almost every aspect of your life on social media."
"I posted some pretty cringe sh*t as a kid that is still floating around somewhere, and that was before social media became big."
"I can't imagine what it's going to be like now."- video_2facebook update GIF by Christina LuGiphy
Parenting should be a personal choice.
"I hope mommy bloggers who post constant pics and details of their children."
"Robbing children of privacy for likes and money is sickening."
"Don’t even get me started on ones with sick kids."- nikki_therese
Everyone was watching it... back then...
"I think people are just starting to regret naming their kids Danerys and Sansa."- Wazula42game of thrones boom GIFGiphy
Felt "kute"... will regret later
"Quirky misspelling of names."- Virghia
Natural beauty is destined for a comeback
"Too much plastic surgery, fillers and Botox on young people."- factchecker8515
"Holy sh*t, there’s no way that your kids won’t be horrified by those weird eyebrows."- DelicaEyebrow Raise GIFGiphy
Here's hoping actions will one day have consequences
"Ignoring criminal acts by politicians."- Max-lower-back-Payne
Contemporary views of education
"The destruction of public education."
"Squeezing and outright sabotage of public schools, prohibitive costs for secondary education."
"The normalization of being undereducated either through apathy or because of forces outside your control."
"The idea that opinion is equal to fact and that sticking to your original viewpoint is heroic."
"'Yeah, your studies may say that, but this is how I FEEL about it'" and similar arguments."
"The reason we are no longer a minor species of omnivorous hunter-gatherers is our ability to pass along knowledge to others."
"Each generation building on the achievements of prior generations is the path to progress in health, quality of life, equality, production and so much more."
"Worse yet, technology now is at a level where if the masses are uneducated, they are also powerless."
"Small groups of people with specific knowledge have become outrageously powerful and this gap in individual power will only get worse with advances in fields like AI and robotics."
"If we allow whole generations to grow up undereducated, it will be very difficult for them to understand and affect their world."
"I feel the exponential growth of wealth gaps across the world is a symptom of this deliberate enforced ignorance."- GrymEdm
Some things we'll laugh about, other's we'll look back on in disdain and horror.
And Ironically, we'll probably be enjoying another current fad which will be outdated in another five years.
When the global pandemic hit in March of 2020, everyone hoped that after two weeks or so of social distancing, cases would begin to drop and things would quickly get back to normal.
And though life is slowly getting back to what it once was, cases of COVID-19 continue to ebb and flow.
It almost feels like everyone must have caught COVID-19 at least once by now.
But even three years in and with multiple variants, there are still a very lucky, select few who have yet to test positive for COVID-19.
Redditor jwa8808 was curious to hear how those who have yet to see two red sticks on their rapid tests have managed to avoid catching COVID-19, leading them to ask:
"For people who have never caught covid even once, what's your secret?"
Having no social life comes with its advantages.
"I'm not very social even without a pandemic."- phorq
"Have no friends, lol."Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy
Fear of big crowds... and everything else.
"Social anxiety."- mungiga123
"Extreme health anxiety."
"It sucks since its unnerving but I took every precaution in the book to not get sick."- _Lost__LightHorror Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
You tell me!
"I really have no idea."
"I've been on building sites with people taking zero precautions, worked in London for a while, delivered into hospitals during lockdown, been surrounded by people who then go on to have covid a few days later."
"Not a clue how I haven't had it yet."- sammykoejoe
Best perk of a home office!
"Working at home and having no social life or sex."- I-P-Freely4ever
Pure, dumb luck!
'Neither me or my kids have been hit."
"The secret, I have no idea besides lure luck."- Hugh-MahnSt Patricks Day Illustration GIFGiphy
I can stay perfectly entertained at home!
"Don't go out."- To_enrich_my_life_17
Dilligence...or common sense?
"Wear masks, go out when you need to, get all the covid shots you are entitled to, stay away from ill people."- kitchen_clintonThe Grand Mask GIF by The Grand HealthcareGiphy
One can't help but sympathize with those too afraid to partake in outings and activities they enjoyed prior to the pandemic.
But hopefully the fact that they've avoided catching an illness which has taken the lives of over six million people worldwide is the comfort they need to feel good about their decisions.