Top Stories

Ex-Cons Share The Best Tips To Survive The First Week In Prison

Ex-Cons Share The Best Tips To Survive The First Week In Prison
Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

Prison is not a fun place.

That is obvious. But it's a good reminder, as to stay on the straight and narrow.

There are unspoken rules and ways to live once you're on the inside.

If you want to live or not be extra traumatized, there are things to learn.

Hopefully none of us find ourselves there but just in case...

RedditorJujhar_Singh wanted to hear some advice about life in the big house. They asked:

"Ex prisoners of Reddit, what are some of the best tips to survive the first week in prison?"

I know nothing about jail. Thank God, so this should be interesting.

Head Down

Tv Show Prison GIF by Animal Kingdom on TNTGiphy

"Dot start crap and keep to your own. Keep to yourself/a SMALL group of people."

Dragon3076

"Probably like me, do everything by yourself, never expect anything from anyone, try to not talk about things that they can use to hurt you, etc."

parkourpro8

It’s not worth it...

"As a supervisor in a level 4 prison... DON'T put yourself in ANY kind of debt EVER."

indica_crash

"I second this! Also if you don’t do drugs on the outside, don’t do them on the inside. Quick way to run up a debt and then you’re addicted and they’ve got you. I’ve had families call in to the facility because inmates are calling them at home to pay their incarcerated loved ones debt."

"As someone who has listened to many scared moms, wives, etc crying and sobbing on the phone please don’t put them through that. Also you have no idea if what you’re taking isn’t cut with something far more dangerous. Lastly I’ve seen way too many men come in with no drug habits or charges, leave with drug habits, then come back because of drug charges. It’s not worth it, once you’ve done your time, to the best of your ability stay out for you and your loved ones."

xJill_Valentine

“I own you now”

"If you find a candy bar on your bunk, DON'T even touch it."

Huge-Plantain-8418

"If you goto a federal prison in Georgia they show you a video thats gives you information on what to do and what not to do once you go in. There’s a skit of a prisoner walking into his cell and finding a candy bar on a bed. He eats it and his cellmate comes in and tells him 'I own you now.' Basically teaching to prevent yourself from getting owned."

bleachmyoit

Payback

"Don't take favors from anyone cause they'll expect one back."

flunkboyfailure

"Haven’t been to prison but had a work colleague who would do favours for me that I hadn’t asked for and then months later would be I did such and such for you now you have to do this for me or else."

"Things like giving me random items from home etc. I started very much trying to refuse everything and she would get extremely rude and demand I took whatever favour/gift it was. She made working there very unpleasant. When I left that job I never talked to her again."

PumpkinSpice2Nice

Poop Time

scared eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy

"If you’re taking a crap, take one leg out of your pants/shorts. You are vulnerable on the toilet. Best to not get tripped up if you have to react to a spontaneous assault."

Kellen_Yeller

Those are all good things to know, should we find ourselves in a predicament.

Hell

the shawshank redemption escape GIFGiphy

"Don’t mess with the COs the guards will make your life hell more than inmates."

OBM1127

PUMP!

"Spend your time in county working out. A lot of people hit prison and didn't work out at all in county. The big guys can be pretty rough and they'll test you(usually in a joking way) and you don't want to b*tch out. Don't cause problems and work out so you look like you can handle yourself and you should be fine. People will generally try to find easy targets. Don't be one of them."

DrinkJazzlike3487

Swing Back

"Always, always fight back. Even if you know you’ll get your a** beat. No matter what, fight back. They’ll see you’re not an easy target compared to someone who doesn’t defend themselves or else they’ll continue to harass you."

lilremainsxrist

"I'm small and did almost 4 years and never got in a fight. Almost did once, and I told the guy I probably wouldn't win, but he wouldn't want his friends knowing who f**ked him up that bad. He got a strange look on his face and slowly walked away. This was at a minimum security prison, I don't think this would have worked on the max yard. But I still wouldn't go down without leaving a mark."

Inuyasha-rules

Chow Time Fun

"A coworker was in jail for about a year after getting caught selling pot. He said the crucial test was when someone messed with his food. He had his tray of chow, and some young guy smacked it out of his hands. He immediately started wailing on the guy."

visicircle

No One

the dark knight head GIFGiphy

"Get bigger before going in don't give anyone your food, sneeze inside your shirt hygiene is a pretty big thing. No one inside is your friend."

Majestic_Picture8017

Start with Respect

"Be respectful but never let somebody take advantage of you. You will get tested as soon as you come in. Prisoners can spot somebody who has never done time from a mile away. You need to stand up for yourself right away. Don’t gamble. Never borrow anything you can’t pay back."

"You will probably need to stick with your race. Stay off the guards radar. Blending in is your best bet. Never talk to a guard alone, especially if something has happened that they are looking for information on, even if you have no intention of snitching. Don’t befriend sex offenders."

ApatheticWithoutTheA

In Max

"My buddy did some hard time in maximum, was amongst killers. He said most of the guys that were in there killed their wives, like 80% of them, those dudes were struggling everyday against the gang members, then said he got stabbed with a tooth brush for not f**king with people of his race, it happened in front of 2 guards while they were transferring him out of the prison."

"Had some other stories to share as well, but the point was that the guards are not there to protect you and if you're gonna be f**ked with, that's how it's gonna be."

JasonVanJason

Life of the Barracks

"Once you get to your barracks, stick to yourself and just watch and see how everyone else interacts with others, get a sense for who's on some bullshit and who's doing their time right. Don't accept anything free from anyone, it's never actually free. Like others have said, don't just give away your stuff either, just brings stress and trouble."

"Respect and how you carry yourself are key. As for fighting, it's gonna happen and usually it's to test you. If you stand up for yourself, it doesn't really matter if you win or lose, just so long as you'll fight. I wouldn't recommend using drugs, you never know what you're truly getting and drugs just brings trouble. If you're not in a gang, avoid joining up if possible."

myownsummer90

Be on high alert...

"First week!!! Be on high alert. Don’t turn your back to anyone. Assume everyone is your enemy while pretending to be a friend. Don’t make calls to the outside. Don’t order canteen. Don’t let anyone know who you really are. Don’t play any games. Just shower, workout, eat, read, and stay in your cell."

thejerkgrill

Means to an End

"My father is a hippie and one of the kindest people you would ever meet. In the late 60’s he went to prison for selling weed for two years. First week in someone tried to assault him. He beat the guy up so bad that he lost an eye and had to have his jaw rewired. My dad said he felt bad because the guy acted a little off after that but he said from that day forward not one single person messed with him. His advice has always been don’t fight but if you are forced too then make it count."

WesternDisastrous719

Flush

finger toilet GIF by BuzzFeed AnimationGiphy

"I’ve never been but my father who did a few years told me that when you’re on the toilet in the same room as your bunky to flush as soon as something hits that water. I assume if you stink up the cell then your bunky might want to hurt you."

OriginalVegetaJr

Dream it...

"Tell all the other prisoners, 'hey guys, let’s just be nice to each other and maybe prison won’t be so bad!' They’ll all put on a why didn’t I think of that before kind of face before one guy starts a slow clap that turns into an erupting applause from everyone. High fives all around. Guards are all in tears. Warden comes up to you and kisses you on the forehead."

MyBodyStoppedMoving

Read it All...

"Get a book. You can use the spine of a large book as a cudgel. Last resort though because you’ll probably lose reading privileges. Plus reading will help you mind your own business and stay out of trouble. Books make good friends, cons don’t."

majaw91

CODES

"Don't let anyone see your phone code. A lot of prisons use stuff like Pay-tel and the time you buy is loaded into an account and then you use the same code before you dial out. If someone sees you put your code in, they can use up all your minutes. The CO's could investigate it and find out who used it, but they probably won't."

ItzLog

Good luck to anyone doing time.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.