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Ex-Cons Share Whether They Found Prison Rehabilitating

Ex-Cons Share Whether They Found Prison Rehabilitating

"Ex convicts of Reddit, did you find prison rehabilitating? Why or why not? What would you change about the system if you could?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor RamenIsMyKyptonite, and it's a doozy.

According to the National Institute of Justice, about two-thirds (67.8 percent) of released prisoners were rearrested within three years of release. Within five years of release, about three-quarters (76.6 percent) of released prisoners were rearrested.

Clearly the culture within the prison system needs to be changed, as these former inmates can attest.


"Did 4 years..."

Did 4 years in a maximum security penitentiary in Canada.

I don't think the institution itself or its programs had any influence on my rehabilitation, but I decided for myself I was never going back.

They forced us to take certain programs as part of our "correctional plan". Such as an anger management course, a course for drug dealers to tell them to not sell drugs, etc. (All of which were a waste of time imo)

You can get your grade 12 education, which I did.

The most beneficial thing that was occasionally offered in certain institutions (which is no longer available) was you could do certain trades such as carpentry or drywall, and the hours could go towards an apprenticeship on the outside. It is a huge shame that it was discontinued.

If I could change anything I would implement more programs of that nature, that taught skills that could be applied to the outside world and benefit inmates when they are released.

Parole, and living in a halfway house on release are both extremely difficult things to navigate and are imo designed to make parolees reoffend. You are thrown in a house with other convicts, prohibited from associating with any person with a criminal record, which in itself is paradoxical. Any time you leave the halfway house you must tell them exactly where you will be, and must call from a land line (no cellphone) every hour to check in and prove you are where you claim to be. Most people don't own a house phone anymore, and pay phones are almost nonexistent, which makes this very difficult. You can be sent back for the smallest infraction, such as not doing your daily chore at the halfway house (vacuuming, mopping, etc).

You are forced to find immediate employment or can be sent back. Finding a job after being inside for that long can be a very daunting task, especially when certain parole officers demand to meet your employer or meet you at work to prove you're actually employed there.

Overall more programs on the outside to help get parolees jobs, perhaps pre-apprenticeship programs and an example, would be hugely beneficial.

Most ex-cons who rehabilitate do it with their own determination and conscious decision to leave that lifestyle behind. I don't feel the system itself and resources within it play an impactful part in that.

PM_Me_Your_Boobs____

"He went to prison three different times..."

This is not my story, this is my dads.

He went to prison three different times, but he only counts it as one, since he was only really out for less than a month each time he got out, excepting the last one of course. That's a different story.

The last time he went to prison was at Folsom Prison near Sacramento. Yes, from the song. His cellmate was an older man, though, my dad remarked that now, he's older than his cellmate was at the time. My dad was a bit of an arrogant prick and he was bragging about times he got away with some drug smuggling job. They were playing a game of chess and his cellmate just sighed.

"Boy, if you ever listen to a word I say, listen to this. You're still young, you got your whole life ahead of you. Me? I'm here for life. Do you understand that? I'm never getting out of this prison. And when I die, they're going to bury me out in that graveyard with a wooden marker over top my body. I burned all my bridges and now there's no one left to give a shit when I die. You're still a kid, but I was your age when I was put in here. Stop being a dumbass and do something with your life if you don't want to be buried underneath a prison. Now move your fucking piece so we can play some chess."

He was wrong about one thing though. Ive seen my dad cry exactly twice in my life. The second time was last year when we visited Folsom prison and my dad found out that his cellmate, the man who changed his life, passed away years ago. My dad cried over his death, and was probably the only person who did. If that man hadn't verbally slapped my dad across the face, I wouldn't have been born.

So yeah, prison can be rehabilitating, but I'm not sure if it's the system that's responsible.

JayMezians

"A lot of hanging out..."

I haven't been to prison, just in and out of juvie and jail for years. I don't know what was supposed to be rehabilitating. With a lot of the psychological help in juvie they had high staff turnover so there was never really consistency and progress. A lot of drug programming at both levels was just kind of like DARE stuff. And really basic. I've been in a juvie class where another kid was correcting the 'teacher's' info. Jails mostly have AA, don't really like AA.

A lot of hanging out and playing games and entertaining yourself. It rehabilitated some of my basketball skills (though some of that gets a little dirty for an actual game). It rehabilitated my ability to read books.

After the first couple of times going to juvie or jail never concerned me. Once you've figured the place out a bit then you can just hang out.

I have an uncle who had custody of me as a teen and he invested in me. He rehabilitated me, the system just took me and held me for periods of time but he did the real work. He got me competent and consistent mental health care, we found a counselor who I connected with. I got my meds sorted out. I got consistent and competent substance help. I got a good education and directed towards a career. He got himself help in how to parent me. He got me to be a regular human by about 21.

With greater funding and a change of attitude I think the system could implement all of that stuff far more successfully. And I think that a big focus on juveniles and young adults would help too. And stop being obsessed with the act of locking people up.

throwawaysmetoo

"Needless to say..."

Did 2 years in 2002. 1 year in a for profit regional jail and 1 year minimum security state prison.

Not rehabilitating in the sense they made any effort to rehab us but I did go straight to stay out of there.

I was 18 and breaking into businesses for the thrill. Hardcore self destruction. Thought my life was over until I saw how worse the other convicts were. The only services jail offers are GED, church and AA/NA so any rehabbing is done there. The discipline isn't like the military where they attempt to teach you honor or anything. Its just stand for count and clean your area once a day.

I already had a GED but took it again out of boredom. Prison is a lot better. Counselors teach community college courses and you have a job. Came out with 9 credits.

Probation sucks. Get downtown twice a week, don't have a shy bladder, keep a job, go to meetings even though I didn't have a drug problem. High stress and a lot of us get indefinite probation which averages 5 years.

But I did good. I'm white and middle class so I was able to blend back into society easy. Waited tables and did community college. My PO let me off probation in two years so I could go to university and ultimately hardly missed a beat. Happily married now with three kids, a mortgage and a career I don't hate.

Honestly the biggest motivation for me was watching WB shows in jail and seeing them all go to college. It was like when Mogli saw other humans and left the jungle on his own. Needless to say I had an unstable childhood.

First-Fantasy

"I wouldn't say..."

I wouldn't say it was very rehabilitating, though it did make me never want to go back. The worst thing they never tell you is that the COs can do pretty much whatever they want to you. You don't really have "due process" once you're inside, they can send you to solitary confinement whenever they want, move you to the cell of someone who hates you and look the other way as you get beat up, and nothing will happen to them for it. Most of us were more scared of the COs than we were of each other, though of course there were some good COs.

Specific punishments and such vary from prison to prison, but the worst one I always dreaded was "Dog breath." If someone in our cell did something the CO didn't like, they'd come in, order us to sit with our backs to the wall, sometimes cuffed...and then they'd bring in their K9 Officer to search the cell.

Except...well, she'd search the cell, but spend a long-ass time giving us a sniff-over too - with her mouth right on our nose, panting heavily. It was absolutely foul. One guy cursed at a CO one day, and the next day our cell was searched, and he spent 15 minutes getting breathed and slobbered on by these dogs until he was gagging and retching. Complaining about the smell was a surefire way to get more of it.

Nothing to do about it either. What are you going to do, complain that they searched your cell? That'd be a good way to earn another K9 visit the next day.

kitm1995

People Confess How They Thought Babies Were Made When They Were Little

Reddit user lLoveYourCat asked: 'How did you think babies were made when you were little?'

Person holding newborn baby
Photo by Jill Sauve on Unsplash

In the United States, it's no secret that sex education for minors is inconsistent at best.

But some people learned very unexpected stories about how babies were made, and those stories had a way of making a lasting impression.

Curious about other's stories, Redditor ILoveYourCat asked:

"How did you think babies were made when you were little?"

One Time's the Charm

​"I knew babies came from sex as a fairly young child. My parents never sugar-coated that. But for some reason, as a kid, I thought you only had to have sex once to have multiple pregnancies. I seriously didn't fix that misunderstanding until early middle school."

- Crazey1988

"At some point, when I finally accepted that you had to have sex to have a baby, I thought the only time people have sex was to make a baby, and it only took one time to get the job done."

"Then when I figured out teenagers were having sex, I thought you had to be married and have sex to make a baby, but then when my unmarried cousin got pregnant, I was just confused."

"But I was sure my parents only had sex four times, and then when my mom got pregnant with number five, I thought, 'Wow, they did it again.'"

- Raw_Combination_438

Stealing Storks

"A stork delivered them, of course. What the f**k, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Dells51

"Storks... I thought people trained them to steal babies from a factory and you would leave special treats on your doorstep as payment and encouragement for the stork to steal one for you."

"I was scared to death of birds for the longest time and would have a tantrum at the zoo when I saw a flamingo."

- No_Finish_3144

Young Conspiracy Theorist

"The government. I used to think that we lived in a totalitarian society and that the government was in complete control of everything."

- bebotak**t

"I thought the President sent people their babies when asked by mail."

- GustavoAlex7789

Scheduled Baby Delivery

"The women in my family explained to me at the age of six that a doctor calls you sometime after reaching adulthood at the age of 18 to schedule a baby delivery date."

"The husband either pays to schedule the appointment or the government does after verifying that you have been married and financially stable for quite some time."

- Lokikat00

Marital Kissing

"When two people kissed."

- Short-Reality7353

"I thought the same thing, but I understood that when my mom gave me a kiss, there was no risk. Being someone raised in a very Christian background, I assumed that when you got married, God made kissing a reproductive act."

"Since I made this assumption, I remember questioning why teenage pregnancy could possibly be an issue."

- meuserj

The Ultimate Christmas Gift

​"I thought Santa was bringing them."

- NorskoTheScorpion

"He was. I mean, Christmas comes but once a year..."

- Nouveauuuu

"I MAY NEVER ENJOY CHRISTMAS AGAIN."

- NorskoTheScorpion

A New Meaning to 'Forest Friends'

"When I used to ask my dad where I came from, he'd say he found me under a rock in the forest. Of course, I would go look for babies under rocks, too, but all I ever saw was dirt and those rolly-polly pill bug thingies."

"It was so gross thinking babies were just found THERE that I was actually relieved to find out how they were actually made!"

- melodie-artist

Pregnant By Proximity

"I thought women got pregnant by just being around a man, and I was always confused about what would happen if a woman still lived with her parents or dad after she’s an adult."

- ILoveYourCat

Coming of Age Story

"I thought it was a 'just happens once you reach a certain age' sorta thing. As a woman, I was terrified because pregnancy sounds like the most awful thing, lol (laughing out loud)."

"(I know the end result is worth it but even as a 31-year-old, I'm like, nope.)"

- BansheeShriek

Sounds Plant-Based

"I thought they grew like a seed inside the mother's belly."

- maclaglen

"Technically, that’s true."

- ManagementFresh4960

"Watermelon seeds."

- bravovice

"Well, not like that."

- ManagementFresh4960

The Power of Marriage

"My mum told me you couldn't have a baby if you weren't married. Note that she said 'couldn't', not 'shouldn't'."

"When my unmarried cousin was sleeping a lot my mum told my aunt 'she's having a baby'. I thought 'she can't be having a baby, she isn't married.'"

"A couple of weeks later she had an engagement party, quickly followed by a registry office wedding. She had a baby a few months later."

- MolassesInevitable53

Baby Trees

"I thought they grew on trees. True story."

- 8inchsalvatorre

"Baby trees, lol (laughing out loud)."

- ILoveYourCat

"I was surprised when I learned how it really happened, lol. I was like, 'You mean there are no trees?' And Mom just shook her head."

- 8inchsalvatorre

They Were Just There

"I don't recall a time where I gave the matter any thought without knowing the reality of it."

"Like, literally, until the day I was first introduced to the concept of birth, I don't think I cared where babies came from."

- N_Who

"Right, the little guys just EXISTED."

- Mizar97

Educated Is Best

"I asked my mom and she told me the truth."

"Educate your kids, folks. They can handle it."

- Bite_Me_23

Spontaneous Babies

"I didn’t... They just showed up, honestly."

- badguywindow

"That’s what I thought. I was terrified as a little kid that I’d wind up being a teenage mother because I thought it just happened spontaneously."

- dinosore

"Exactly what I thought would happen. Like one day you were just, boom, six months pregnant."

- badguywindow

While these responses might be funny, it's an important reminder of an area in the educational system that's often lacking.

But in the meantime, while the system's curriculum is getting sorted out, at least we can take comfort in the fact that we weren't alone in believing these tall tales.

View of eye chart through a pair of spectacles
David Travis/Unsplash

One of life's many challenges to being successful and happy is to work hard and stay focused on our respective goals.

There are many obstacles that can discourage us, but persistence and a drive to overcome can be rewarding.

Unfortunately, there are some things that are simply beyond our control, and it has nothing to do with fate.

It's the qualities we're either born with or without that can impede us or prevent us from ever achieving what can only be seen as a pipe dream.

Curious to hear examples of one of life's cruelties, Redditor G00dR1ddance asked:

"How did your genetics f'k you over?"

These Redditors were unhappy with appearances.

Uncooperative Vision

"Lazy eye, and a total lack of depth perception."

– Crow_of_Judgem3nt

"Same. Do you struggle with driving? I just moved to a big city and I can’t drive here bc navigating all the traffic is too hard with no depth perception. It’s so scary!"

– Subnautica24

The Worst Parts

"Moms Family: Perfect teeth, male baldness. Dad's family: Terrible teeth, perfect hairline."

"Me: Sh**ty teeth, bald before 25. My 2 brothers: Perfect Teeth, Perfect Hairline."

"Feels FN bad."

– Yogannath

"They should all chip in for a trip for you to Turkey for a cheap hair transplant and dental work."

– turboprop123

Made For Farming

"All 4 grandparents were farmers. I look like I was bred to farm and f**k to make more little farm workers. Broad shoulders, big boobs, no waist, no @ss worth mentioning, and thick legs. I just look like I was bred to work forever until I die. 120 years ago."

– bwvdub

Stop With The Flattery

"I too am sturdily built. I am not tall but I am muscular and broad with the big boobs and the broad hips and sturdy legs. I could carry very heavy sacks of feed from when I was very small. My family nickname was 'the forklift truck', so that's.. nice."

– LibraryOfFoxes

Room For More

"My mother’s OB said she had a pelvis ‘you could drive a bus through’. I was a natural breach birth and share those genetics. You could host the last supper on my a** and have room for plus ones."

– Elephant_axis

These Redditors are living on borrowed time.

Cardiovascular Health

"Bad heart. I'm the first male in at least 4 generations to make it to 40. And that's only because I was finally properly diagnosed and treated. I wouldn't have made it to 35 if I didn't find the right cardiologist."

– socteachpugdad

"Bum ticker - dad’s aorta exploded when I was 11 and my brother died from the second heart at 41. Just hoping to see my 60s."

– poontong

Being Kept At Bay

"I have a blood condition where I retain iron. It's slowly killing me. Destroyed my liver, pancreas, and led to a massive heart attack."

​"Fortunately, I live in the 21st century where modern medicine can keep me going with...bleeding."​

– Objective_Stick8335

"Sad Aspect" Of A Family

"Huntington's disease"

– alc1864

"My oldest uncle married a woman who had Huntington's, but they were very young and she wasn't symptomatic yet. In the 70s so no genetic testing or much public awareness. They had 5 daughters. My aunt and their eldest have long since passed away, and the remaining 4 are in various stages of the disease. It's always been a sad aspect of our family. A truly cruel disease."

– Wasyloosker12

BRCA Genes

"I’m BRCA2 positive, giving me roughly 74% chances of developing an incurable genetic breast cancer in my life. It also gives me about 22% of having an ovarian cancer."

"On the other side, double mastectomy lowers my chances to about 3%, but it should ideally be done before I reach 30. I will also need a hysterectomy in my 40s."

"I had 50/50 chance of getting the BRCA2 gene mutation so well, genetics did f'k me over!"

– PoutineMaker

Redditors share more of their crosses to bear in life after being blessed with these traits.

"I'm more attractive to mosquitoes than most people. If I'm out when mosquitoes are around, I end up covered in bites (which I'm also allergic to, so I end up with quarter sized welts that itch for daaaays after the fact)."

– p1013

It's sobering to realize the ailments your parents struggled with are starting to become our own to bear. ​

High blood pressure, arthritis, and predisposition to atherosclerosis are some of the undesirable parts of my family's genetic makeup that I never really thought about until I noticed how fatigued and in pain I've become with age.

Although I have so much gratitude for surviving every year I get to celebrate my birthday, getting old still sucks.

Silhouette of man leaving an office carrying a briefcase
Photo by Roth Melinda on Unsplash

Being let go from your job is never a pleasant experience.

Particularly if it comes out of nowhere, without any possible warning that this was a possibility.

Even if it isn't any more pleasant, generally speaking, most people have at least an inkling of why they were let go.

Budgetary reasons, dissolved departments, being told you weren't meeting company standards, or bad blood with the boss.

As well as some less common, highly unusual reasons which at least might make a good story down the line.

Redditor Sweetlo123 was curious to hear from people who were let go from their jobs, and why they were met with this fate, leaving them to ask:

"What did you get fired for?"

For Standing Up For What's Right.

"We were told we get OT for night work."

"The new 'company manager' let it slip that we don't actually get OT for night work, so when I was scheduled for five nights in a row working on a transmission line cell site I mentioned that I expect everyone working from our company on site get OT."

"Once it was said that we won't get OT and that it wasn't an actual policy (was written in employee handbook), I forwarded the email chain to the entire company and leadership at Verizon."

"I was canned, but now everyone gets OT for night work."

"My life is better now anyway and got my people what the deserve."- drklunk

This Was Never Going To End Well...

"Aggressively squeezing breakfast muffins lol."

"I was a few days into working at Mcds and someone complained I gave them a muffin that was too hard-they bake them at like 3 am and sit in a warmer all day."

"This was before they had the full bakery menu, I think muffins was the only thing baked and maybe cookies."

"So my manager told me to squeeze them before I hand them out."

"Me being a dumb teenager squeezed the s*it out of these muffins and got another complaint."

"They stopped scheduling me, haha."- eatmyknuts

You Have To Do The Work To Get Paid...

"I just stopped working and began only attending meetings."

"Lasted almost 9 months that way before they let me go."- frantictossing

martin freeman sleeping GIFGiphy

Wrong Time, Wrong Place

"I was fired after a month into my first job at a local pizza joint when I was 16."

"They called me during the Super Bowl and said I had to come in."

"I told them I was out of state without a car so no way I could make it."

"They said I should’ve known this was one of the busiest days of the year and I should’ve stayed in the area."

"I came in to work my next shift and they just gave me my paycheck and said they had to let me go for not being a team player."

"10 years later I was fired from a job in tech because I refused to move out of state."

"This one hurt a lot more."- seventyfive1989

Hard Not To Say They Had It Coming...

"The company's timeclock software ran off of the computers time, so when I was late I would just close the software, change the time back to before shift start and then clock in and change it back."

"The supervisor who showed me the trick fired me."

"A day or two later he saw me pulling in late, and when he went over the time info that day, it showed me clocked in on time."

"He knew why."- Grief-Inc

Nepotism Always Screws Someone Over...

"Worked at a gas station and was a sucker for the free soda."

"I would drink a few 24 oz glasses of Dr. Pepper (don’t judge) per shift and had to piss relatively frequently."

"I usually worked with the same lady every shift and every shift my drawer came up short even like $10-20 bucks."

"One day my usual co-worker was off and I worked with another lady who warned me to watch my drawer around the other and hers had been short when she was around."

"That got me to thinking."

"The next shift with the usual lady I stuck some receipt paper into the lip of the bottom of my drawer and hit the bead."

"When I came back the paper was on the floor."

"My drawer was short $20 at shift change and my boss fired me."

"I told her of my findings and asked her to review the security tape."

"She told me to f*ck right off the other lady had been there years."

"I left heart broken and rented some VHS tapes to indulge in and recover."

"One of the movies was Casino and man is that a good movie."

"Come to find out the usual lady was the boss lady’s cousin and they f*ckin told people I knew I got fired for stealing money."

"I though about calling a lawyer but also, I was in high school and was delusional I suppose."

"I got out of that town after high school and rarely return, especially considering all my family moved off."- woohhaa

Snl Smiling GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy

The Age Old Story Of Men In Power

"Caught the boss stealing."

"So he fired me."

"His word vs. mine and it didn't go my way."- freezingprocess

People Tend To Get What They Deserve

"Embezzled almost $500,000 from the doctor's office I worked at."

"Oh no, wait."

"That was my former supervisor who did that...26 years after she fired me for taking home a left over slice of pizza after a drug rep hosted a pizza party for the office staff."

"Karma can take a long time, but it always comes through."- YourFront

Late To The Game...

"Being the last hired when they instituted layoffs."- BubbhaJebus

Some Plans Can't Be Cancelled

"1970s YES 'Close to the Edge' tour."

"I had my tickets and had the request approved for time off, they changed their mind at the last minute and would not let me off."

"Pfft."

"Left anyways and was genuinely surprised when I got back on Monday and they informed me that I was fired."-AmandaBRecondwith

Treat Others Like You Want To Be Treated

"My boss was talking sh*t about me to employees, and I confronted her with 'how would you expect the people below me to respect me when you show them that you don’t?'"

"She didn’t like it and literally went crying to the owners, who then fired me for 'causing problems'.”- Successful-Snow-562

For Literally Doing What They Were Supposed To

"I got fired for slacking off and underperforming at work by taking my legally required lunch."- 10leej

Hungry Lets Eat GIF by TRTGiphy

They Couldn't Have Waited One Day?

"Worked as a QA tester for an online game company."

"Found bug while on my personal account at home."

"Came in the next day and reported the bug."

"I was VERY clear I found the bug while playing at home on my personal account."

"It was a nasty bug that let you duplicate very expensive items."

"A few weeks later someone in customer service was checking the logs for people exploiting the bug."

"They found mine and the company decided to fire me on my birthday."

"That was around 15 years ago but it still upsets me every year, on my birthday."- PedanticCyborg

While most believe "ignorance is bliss", anyone handed a pink slip deserves to know why.

Even if sometimes the reason gives no closure whatsoever, and instead only results in even more questions.

A sign saying "NOPE" written in white paint on a wooden wall
Photo by Daniel Herron

Certain locations really damper on a good time.

For instance, it's not fun to do it in cramped spaces.

Looking at you, airplane bathrooms and backseat of cars.

Many cannot be bothered to maneuver in some odd location.

Beds. Beds are sexy.

Always were, always will be.

Redditor sasukelikescarrots wanted to hear about the places we should all avoid when getting it on, so they asked:

"What do you think are some overrated places to have sex?"

Elevators.

One... I'm claustrophobic.

Two... there is not enough time.

Fatal Attraction lied to us y'all.

The Worst

The Beach Summer GIF by Kel CripeGiphy

"The beach is the worst."

thotsnprayers68

"I hate sand so much so I agree with you."

Millionsmoney

Let Alone Two

"Airplane bathroom. Too cramped, and smells gross. Keep your Mile High Club pendant."

REUBG58

"I was thinking this too. I am also willing to bet that 99% of people who claim to be in the Mile High Club are lying through their teeth. Seriously, there's barely any space in those lavatories for one person, let alone two, and it's a little hard to get aroused when you're worrying about turbulence and people waiting to use the toilet knocking on the door."

Fresh-Hedgehog1895

Just Why?

"Public toilets... Why would you even..."

Reznik81

"The only reason I can think of is being a kid of an overprotective parent in high school and you want to desperately get it on with your boyfriend. Public restrooms are the only option sometimes. (Experience)."

I-couldbeadog

Too Wet

"The pool and the shower."

GrilledStuffedDragon

"I hate the shower. I think it was a comedian who said, 'I’ve never been having sex and thought you know what would make this better… If one of us was freezing.'"

REDDIT

"I personally like the shower cause my partner likes to be in the water and I like being cold so it works out cause sex gets me pretty warm anywho."

BOOboUraisin23

"The shower is for foreplay, not sex. Pretty much every time we shower together it’s a given that it will lead to sexy time, whether we were planning on it or not/in the mood or not…. intimacy and touching, etc.,?…. we just B-line for the bedroom. But sex IN the shower?… no."

Jibber_Fight

And a Happy Meal?

happy ronald mcdonald GIF by McDonald's CZ/SKGiphy

"McDonalds ball pit…"

ami2weird4u

"They have a cleaning machine that can clean all the balls and it's all sanitary. I think that could be a really good time"

copper_basket

Have some decorum people.

I'd go to Burger King.

Check Please

Applebees GIFGiphy

"The men's room at Applebee's during Happy Hour on a Tuesday."

Thiccaca

"Oddly specific."

some1sbuddy

Bad Idea

"Car sex."

Shrikeangel

"I spent my teens and early 20s having sex in cars. About a year ago (I'm almost 40) the wife and I are out and in the mood so let's have sex in the car like we used to. Bad idea, how the f**k did we used to have sex all the time back there, now it's uncomfortable and I got a cramp in my leg."

Psyco_diver

"Yes. The handful of times I’ve tried this, it’s always been so cramped and you need to keep repositioning or someone bumps their head. I guess it could be fine if you had one of those huge American tanks, but cars here in Australia never have that much room inside."

StellarSandDweller

Oh Lord

"Churches and graveyards. I've done it in both, and it's not really that great."

filly_fanatic

"Never in my life have I thought either of those locations sounded like a fun place to have sex. I guess if you have a kink for getting caught then it's as good as any because there's this perception of it being sacrosanct, but it just seems at best uncomfortable and at worst going to get me on a registry somewhere.

"hopeishigh

The Waves

"Waterbeds. One of my GF's had one, and I *hated* it. It's impossible to get traction or the proper angle."

disturbednadir

"Good call. There’s nothing to push off of. Nowhere to plant knees either. A true s**t show."

SocialMediaSoooToxic

"I knew there was a reason why I forgot about my waterbed! Thanks for reminding me about that abomination!"

TinyCamp7743

Wow. I mean. Y'all have really gone out and experimented fully.

Congrats.