Ex-Cons Explain The Stupidest Thing They Ever Saw A New Inmate Do On Their First Day In Prison


People are aware there are certain rules in prison thanks to modern media. Keep your head down, stay out of the way, and don't cause any waves, right? Well, on the other side of that coin are the people who go to prison, thinking they know how to buck the rules and...ouch. It is prison, after all.

Reddit user, u/VertigoLol, wanted a peak behind the bars when they asked:

Ex-Inmates of Reddit, what was the stupidest thing you've seen a new inmate do on his first day in prison?

Not Everything Works Like On TV


Kid came in and, I assume he has watched a lot of movies cuz he figured he'd fight the biggest guy on the range. Lol.

He wasn't even the toughest guy in the hospital he woke up in.


...What A Dummy.

Tell literally everyone how he was going to escape, and showed off all the tools he was using.


Was he stopped by the other inmates or by guards?


There's was a mole. A snitch. Within hours of him trying to saw his way through the bars with the threads of the waistband of his underwear we were searched and he was removed.

In all fairness, he was awaiting trial and looking at 50+ years.


Let Them Be

This idiot walked right into a Mexican gang meeting and almost got beaten up.

Source: am the idiot

Edit: I was in jail, not prison. My mistake. Again, am idiot.


How did u get out of that one?


When I first went in, this old white guy introduced himself and told this other white guy to look out for me.

The other white dude came running from across the room (it was a big room, maybe 50 beds wide), grabbed my arm and pulled me out. He pushed me against the wall and said ,"dude. What the f-ck are you thinking? You would've gotten your a-- beat and sent to the hospital."

I asked him, "why? That's the rec room isn't it?"

He said, "the Mexicans are holding a meeting right now."

Dude ended up saving me three times during my incarceration of 2 days.


...We Can Hear You!

Not an ex inmate, but an ex CO.

Dude came in on drug charges. First thing he does upon walking into the pod is announce loudly enough that I could hear, that he got drugs past the "dipsh-ts" in intake. Yeah, not the brightest bulb, that one. Lol


Kid gets booked in, hits the unit and starts borrowing food and other commissary items. Before he knew it he was $200 in the hole. Problem is, in jail and prison, most people who are willing to loan items out expect 2 or 3 of the same item back.. ya know, interest. Very easy way to get yourself indebted is by borrowing any food or other items.

Never get in debt while incarcerated.


C'Mon, Man, It's Not Gamma's Fault.

Collect call his grandma and just cuss her out and talk her like dog sh-t because she didn't want to put her house up for collateral to bail him out.


Anybody do anything to teach him manners? Or just mind their business?


Nothing serious. He was shut out from having access to any of the goodies inmates were able too get . Baldwin County jail in Alabama is quick to add charges and extend your stay to keep that head count up. The jail was all about barely meeting requirements and keeping as much money as possible coming in. They were so cheap that they put beans with almost every lunch and dinner and on Saturday and Sunday they didn't serve the usual 3 meals. You got brunch and an early dinner and then a single peanut butter and jelly sandwich around 7 pm.


Dude, Just Shower.

Not shower. for weeks. He got his clothes ripped up and he was thrown half naked into the showers.


Did anyone know why he refused to shower? Like was he just gross or was he afraid soap would be dropped?


Maybe Keep That To Yourself

Worked as a Corrections Officer, guy got busted for sexual assualt of a minor, figured everyone else in the tank was on similar charges so began talking openly about it feeling he was safe. We had to subdue 5 guys who jumped him in the rec yard, guy was sent to the hospital as he was fairly unresponsive, he was sent to protective custody after that.


Pranks Are Alive And Well Behind Bars


Told a kid there was a pool out at yard. Guard saw him waiting to go out in shorts with his shower towel and asked him what he was doing. Kid said I'm gonna go swimming outside it looks nice. Dont think I've laughed so hard in my life, it's unoriginal but always funny


"Pro-Tip: In Jail, Mind Your Own Business."

skinny kid, hippy type got busted with some weed... someone else on the range was getting beat up for something or other and the kid tried to intervene.. just said "hey, leave him alone"

got beat to within an inch of his life in the shower.

pro-tip: in jail, mind your own business


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