Europeans Share Their Biggest WTF America Moments
We all sort of feel like "WTF America!" at present. There's too many weird things that we as a nation are totally behind on that are handled much more expertly in Europe, and Europe is pretty vocal about telling us that we need to get our act together.
u/schematicboy asked Reddit:
Here were some of the most WTF answers.
Did a house exchange in New Jersey (from UK) and on the second day a neighbour came to the door with an actual cherry pie to welcome us and ask us to dinner. Was
- A huge confirmation of stereotype
- Really touching and sweet (pie was also wonderful btw)
- A bit weird because we knew our neighbours wouldn't give a flying f-ck and we felt bad :/
It was my second trip to California, I was only 18 years old. When I got out of the plane, as usual, I had to go through all those security checks. At the last checkpoint, the officer asked me whether I have anything in my suitcase that I didn't mention on tis CBP thing. Then he asked for drugs and then for alcohol. I honestly answered all questions with "No" when surprisingly he asked me "Why not?". A bit confused, I told him that I knew, I wasn't allowed to take drugs or drink alcohol in his country. He got interested and asked whether it was different where i'm from (Germany). Here the minimum age is 16 for light beverages like beer and wine and 18 for the other stuff like spirits. He was so interested, he kept asking stuff for like 5 minutes, not even minding the 100 people behind me. When he let me pass, he instantly turned towards the guy in the other checkpoint was like "Hey, did you know ... "
In 2015 I went to Florida. We walked past a crazy golf place and a guy was holding an alligator in his arms, he also told me he had an 8-foot alligator in the back.
I'm from England, so I don't think I'll ever quite get over just how casual he was having a dang alligator in his arms.
Went to some diner in Portland, Oregon and I ordered coffee. Half way in my coffee she asked me if I wanted a refill, I politely declined telling her I was short on cash. She laughed and said refills are free of charge, and to top of my amazed reaction she complimented my shirt. Needless to say, she cured my hangover and I fell in love.
I really wasn't prepared for the size of the cars! I'm used to getting into cars by opening the door and sitting down, not climbing up. And we had a rental car, a Dodge of some sort, that was pretty much a tank, with tiny windows so you could barely see where you were going.
The Queen's EnglishGiphy
While in Florida, we went through a drive through and the lady couldn't understand what i was ordering regardless of how slowly and carefully i spoke so, i decided to go inside instead where the lady behind the counter couldn't understand me either, i am a northern brit but not too too broad an accent.
My little sister had to put on her Florida accent to order for us, the manager who eventually took the order said she was sorry as the staff were only used to "normal" English lol
Coins And Traffic LightsGiphy
Boston: didn't notice I had left Europe.
Houston: the people were as friendly as they were huge. And loud. Hugely loud. And loudly huge, I guess.
Nashville and other places I went kinda blend together in my head, except for the delicious food.
Oh, and the person who asked if my country had coins and traffic lights. I.. what.. yes? I mean.. wat
Hey There Ho There How Do Ya DoGiphy
While walking around Austin, random people would just give me a "Hey, how's it going" as they walked past. In the UK, if someone even looks like they might glance in your direction, it probably means they're about to try selling you something. I probably offended a couple of them with how defensive I seemed...
First time I flew to America, right at the airport I see this guy walking around just all dressed up like a cowboy and my day was just made right there.
They've always just been these fantasy characters from TV or movies, in the back of my mind I knew they're real but no matter what you can never be prepared to really see one.
He wasn't even a cowboy, just an American.
The space. You guys have so much unused untouched space, it's crazy. In Europe there is barely anywhere that isn't owned or isn't being used. In Europe we have protected forests, in America you have some unrestricted, uncontrolled forests that are massive!
I'm actually in NYC right now, so that was good timing! I'm from the UK.
Yesterday I went to Central Park and there were literally two guys just driving around on segways with giant a-- snakes around their necks. Occasionally they'd take them off and drape them around the nearest random person. I was actually frozen with horror.
I'm an Aussie who visited USA, hope it's okay for me to crash this thread.
We LOVED our visit - loved the whole bloody place, but i was absolutely gobsmacked when I found Froot Loops with marshmallows. I genuinely did not think it was possible to make Froot Loops more unhealthy, but you guys did it - love your work!
Ordered a BLT sandwich in Las Vegas, I swear that sandwich was 90% bacon. Under a mount Everest of bacon were two tiny lurk warm tomato slices and a single leaf of lettuce almost apologizing for being there. 10/10 would visit America again.
In Florida, how amazingly friendly people were whilst talking absolute nonsense to make us happy. We are from Wales in the UK, this guy at a burger store asked where we were from and started to tell us how he loves Wales, then went on about how his mum lives there.
We asked what part of Wales does she live?
His reply, "Paris, I think"
Pretty stereotypical stuff. Couple we stayed with were hugely nice but very religious and overweight. They voted for Obama and then Trump. Also drove us 4 hours for a daytrip! The bread is inexplicably sweet. A nice healthy pancake with blueberries for breakfast was actually five pancakes with blue syrup and whipped cream. I could get used to root beer floats though.
Us Germans have the reputation of being deferential to all kinds of authority, and maybe deservedly so. But when there is some trashy drama going on in a U.S. supermarket, there always seems to be someone who at some point threatens to CALL THE MANAGER if those shenanigans don't stop RIGHT AWAY, sounding like they are about to conjure up some omnipotent eldritch deity. Which executive powers do store managers have in America? Are there states where they can invoke some kind of castle doctrine, and pull a gun on you?
Reddit user napjerks asked: 'What do most people not know their phones can do?'
In this day and age, we all have cell phones, and we know that they are pocket-sized computers that we can control in the palm of our hand.
But there are many incredibly cool features that most of us don't even know are there, but which would make our experience with our phones that much better.
Redditor napjerks asked:
"What do most people not know their phones can do?"
"iPhone has a hidden white noise generator. Technically it's an accessibility feature. It can do Balanced noise, Bright noise, Dark noise, Ocean, Rain, and Stream."
"Go to Go to Settings, then Accessibility, then Audio/Visual (under Hearing), and finally Background Sounds."
"It's awesome. I use it all the time! Works great with AirPods with noise cancellation enabled. Really helps me focus in a chaotic environment."
"(Bonus: Your Mac has the same white noise generator too.)"
"You can use the translate app with your camera to translate printed text in real-time."
Parked Car Location
"I have my iPhone set so that when it disconnects from my car's Bluetooth, it remembers that location in Apple Maps as 'Parked Location.' When I'm going back to the car, I just search for 'Parked Location' in Maps and it takes me directly to where the car is."
Easy 9-1-1 Dialing
"You can repeatedly click the side button like eight times or so to dial 911. I didn’t know that until I did it by accident."
Easy Photo Search
"In the photos app you can search a phrase like 'cat' or 'green car' or certain texts or anything really and it will bring up every photo related. It’s not perfect but it’s saved me tons of time searching for old photos."
"I’ve showed this to dozens of people and nobody has ever said I already knew that… Hope I can help someone else!"
Ability to Eavesdrop
"On iPhone, when you have air pods connected, tap the top right menu like you would to see the regular options, and at the bottom, there is an ear. When you click that, you get to turn off background sounds and live listen."
"If you turn live listen on, it is almost a super hearing aid. You can leave your phone when you leave a room and you will hear everything around your phone."
"About five years ago, a coworker and I knew a hallway in our building had a pipe cleanout that we needed to access, buried under the concrete floor. We didn't know where exactly. He downloaded a metal detector app, it flagged a spot, we dug, and it was right there."
Text Cursor Accessibility
"Tap and hold the space bar to move your text cursor tool back and forth with precision."
"Every time I do it in front of someone, they've been like, 'Wait, do that again,' and they act like I just made their lives way better."
Print to Save PDF
"'Print' a document to get a pdf! I help people with this so much in my job where people need to send me documents. Often they're expecting to see a 'Save' or 'Save as PDF' option, and that may just not be there."
"They're surprised when you suggest trying to 'print' without access to a printer, and pleased when they see that it works."
Similar Photo Recognition
"If you take a picture of a flower, you can hold it down and click 'info,' and it will search for what it is."
Zooming In and Out Abilites
"In any app with a map (Apple Maps, Google Maps, Lyft, Yelp, etc.), if you double tap and HOLD on the second tap, you can zoom in AND out of the map by moving your thumb up and down."
"Really great if you’re one-handing a phone when your other hand is preoccupied with a watermelon or a baby."
Light Intensity Control
"On an iPhone, if you hold the flashlight button, it gives you a dimmer."
"If you feel like your brightness is still too high, you can actually reduce the white point further in settings."
"It can be used as a weapon. I'm serious."
"Once when I was about 15, a guy came over to me and put his arms on each side of me. He was a lot older than me and I remember him saying I needed to be quiet. He then said something I don't feel comfortable sharing online but before he could do anything,I took the corner of my phone and smashed it into his collar bone."
"I was nowhere near 'strong,' but it made him fall back and I had enough time to run and get help."
"Use your phone as a weapon, especially Motorola, those things are sturdy."
"When headphones are not available the speaker does not have to be used and in general the volume can be turned down."
"But then how will the rest of the airplane know what I’m listening to? Or the bus know what I'm arguing about?"
These are all great examples of how we can take our technological access to the next step and use our devices to their full potential.
When a co-worker or colleague gets fired, it naturally gets the rest of the office talking.
Namely, because everyone is immediately wondering why?
In some cases, the reason is no secret to anyone working there, and everyone knew it would only be a matter of time until this unfortunate individual got the sack.
Other times, someone's dismissal ends up taking everyone by surprise, and people begin speculating at the water cooler.
Most of the time, their gossip and conspiracy theories are way off, but in some rare occasions, they were spot on.
"Why was that one guy fired from your work?"
Sleeping On The Job Is One Thing...
"HVAC residential installer."
"Had a co-worker take a nap in the customer's house."
"In the customer's bed."
"Was confused why he was fired."- Wiggles349
That's Called Stealing...
"Work at a payroll company, we had an employee who Switched like 20 direct deposits to her own account."
"It was all very traceable and she was caught like later that day."- Familiar_Cow_5501
"Once worked at a big online retailer (Not amazon), we had 3 warehouses we shipped out of."
"One was smaller and only held one specific brand of item."
"The warehouse manager of that warehouse was fired and arrested at work."
"Turned out he was fulfilling orders printing labels with correct addresses, which would be emailed to the client."
"Then he would the next day do redirects through the Fedex system and assign new tracking numbers so the old ones wouldn't show final delivery address, just that it was changed."
"Everything got redirected to his house."
"He then was re-listing the same items on Ebay under a VERY similar company name to the one he actually worked for (not exact but changed the word World, to National)."- CoolHandRK1Stealing Mike D GIF by Beastie BoysGiphy
NOT Ready Player One...
"He spent the entire time playing a game on his own handheld console instead of testing the game we were doing overtime to actually test."
"Got very angry at being let go."- silverandstuffs
Violence Is Never The Answer
"He shouted, cursed at and invited the cleaning guy to 'meet him' outside to fight because he was denied access to the restroom until it was fully cleaned."
"The cleaning guy is known for being extremely calm, polite and nice to everyone."
"For someone to have a problem with him means that they have to be a certain kind of entitled a**hole."
"This happened in view of at least 10 co-wokers, me included."
"Everyone was confused, but our manager was proactive about it."
"He told the guy to meet him at the HR office, and was promptly fired."
"After the manager returned, he made a quick meeting."
"His words were: 'We're all grown adults here, well, some of us are'."
"'I just want to put it out there and say that I'll be considerably harsh to anyone that disrespects any coworker, specially when they're responsible for making sure that your a** cheeks sit on a clean toilet'."
"'Also, don't invite people to fight you if you're not willing to go through with it'."
"After the meeting was over, some of us asked him what he meant with that last sentence and he told us that the guy got violent in the HR office and invited him to fight in the parking lot when he was told he was getting terminated."- novato1995Season 1 Fighting GIF by GaslitGiphy
Oh No He Didn't!
"Stealing the boss's Pop Tarts."- MGris24
If Your Going To Lie, Always Cover Your Tracks...
"He claimed he was in the national search and rescue brigade which is entirely volunteer-based."
"They are sorta like our troops, they get perks and can't be fired if they get called out and so on."
"He skipped work all the time claiming it was because he was called in."
"One day someone from the office decided to check if he was and turned out he lied about the whole thing."
"I'm pretty sure he got blacklisted by the entire city which would explain why I haven't heard anything about him for years."- Lizzy_Of_Galtar
You'd Think He Would Have At Least Used Incognito Mode...
"Well, there *was* the new CFO who was shown the door at lunchtime on his first day."
"Then the stock email about 'Do not use the corporate internet to visit inappropriate websites' was sent out."- OldBob10
She Wasn't Even Working From Home!
"She watched Netflix at her desk and took naps."
"With the volume up."
"Her desk was in the middle of the office, there was no hiding."
"She also f*cked up a lot."- SuperstitiousPigeon5
Truth Is Often Stranger Than Fiction
"Worked at a publication."
"Hired a new guy who was super nice and everybody liked him."
"Within a week, found he was plagiarizing everything he wrote."
"Immediately gone - no questions asked."- phznmshr
Could He Have Possibly Been Bird Watching?
"He was keeping sick and injured birds under his desk that he found on his lunch breaks and using binoculars to watch people in other offices."- seanofkelleyBird Watching GIF by Team CocoGiphy
It's Not Private If It's On The Country's Dime...
"Using govt funds to see his mistress."- Acceptable-Result-47
Tragic On So Many Levels
"He was caught stealing cash from work, and spending it on sex workers."
"Turns out he had terminal cancer and wanted to go out with a bang."- Throwaway7219017
Up In The Air...
"Salesman addicted to frequent flier points."
"He'd book flights with four segments each way, meaning extra nights in hotels and basically doing almost no work two days a week."
"He was told repeatedly to book direct flights but just wouldn't."
"Two kids in college and the finally fired him."- mekonsrevengecheck in george clooney GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy
There is often more behind someone's termination than what people hear.
Sometimes it's bad blood, sometimes it's criminal behavior, sometimes it's budget cuts.
Most of the time, though, people are just really, REALLY, bad at their jobs...
Usually, it’s men that get a bad reputation for being creepy, and we rarely hear about when ladies have crossed that line. But women are guilty of doing and saying some weird things too. If you don’t believe me, here are 50 hilarious tales of when Reddit users experienced full creep mode from a lady friend.
1. Crazy Level Confirmed
Last year I changed the privacy setting on my Facebook account to make some of my posts public. I soon found out this was a huge mistake. My crazy ex-wife who I had successfully ghosted for 20 years jumped on there and tried to strike up a conversation. How crazy, you ask?
We were at a restaurant with her family one time and I got that “spidey sense” feeling when a woman is angry and not saying why. It eventually came out that she saw me "holding hands with the waitress and planning a quickie in the back room". I never interacted with the waitress beyond ordering food from her.
Another time she confessed that she purposely caused a rollover accident before we met, in an attempt to hurt her family. Another time I was taking a shower and smelled smoke. It was coming from the plastic handle of the butcher blade she had hidden in the bathroom light fixture.
2. Took Her Long Enough
A girl I dated stalked me for five years after we broke up.
She kept writing me letters at every address I lived during that five-year period. If she didn't have the address, she'd send them care of my parents. The most memorable one is the one where she told me she was married and "he's a great guy but he's not you".
Once, not long after I'd moved to a new address, I came home and found a box of cookies she'd FedExed to me.
Eventually I moved to a new state. I knew from her return addresses that she lived and worked there, and was worried we'd run into each other, but realized that was pretty unlikely. Then after less than a year, she found me through a blog I was keeping and left a message on my voicemail demanding we meet.
I posted a message to her on my blog telling her to stop following me or I'd call the authorities. Up to that point I'd been ignoring her, hoping she'd take the hint. That night she called, and I repeated my threat to bring the authorities in. I haven't heard from her since.
Five years. And we were only together for six months in the first place.
3. This Went Way Too Farwoman with sunglasses standing outdoor during daytimePhoto by Katsiaryna Endruszkiewicz on Unsplash
Back when I was 16 and still in school, a female classmate became really obsessed with me. She would send me tons of weird messages. She was also always trying to pair with me in science class, and just staring at me a lot of the time. I was usually just polite in return, and never went out my way to interact with her. But then it escalated.
She ended up getting really creepy, and getting me in a lot of trouble. At one point her messages became genuinely worrying, and I did not know what to do. I remember the night it got really bad was when she sent me a picture of my name carved into her arm. I had no idea what to do. In hindsight, I should've told someone straight away.
The next day in fact, I was preparing to tell one of the teachers or just anyone, possibly to get her help. But before I could she was telling people I told her to carve my name in her arm. It was as a pretty bad time. I got targeted at school that day, had the authorities come to my house, my phone got taken, and I was being treated like a felon.
Everyone apart from my two main friends at school seemed to think I was in the wrong. But I was in for worse. The next day while at school, I get called into the principal's office and told I am being expelled. My parents were called. They were very angry and took me home. They didn’t want to listen to my explanation or side of the story.
Thank God that night the authorities came around with my phone and told me they'd established that I had nothing to do with her doing that. They apologized to me and seemed pretty genuinely sorry.
4. Her Timing Was Off
I was seeing this girl and we went out three or four times. Eventually we got to intimate times, and I brought protection but she said it was fine, she was on the pill. A few days later she called me crying, looking for me to console her.
Turns out she was crying because she wasn't pregnant. She wasn't on the pill at all, it turned out, and now that she wasn't pregnant after our romp, she thought she must be barren. Young me learned an important lesson that day and I didn't speak to her again.
5. This Is Just Cruel
I met a girl a while back when online chat rooms were popular. She just got out of a bad relationship. We started chatting and from the get-go I told her I only wanted to be friends. We shared similar interests, enjoyed each other's company, and through talking found out we actually didn't live too far from each other.
We'd meet up from time to time to play video games and hang out. After about two weeks of being friends, she admitted that she was having feelings for me. I said that's sweet but I only see you as a friend and I'd like to keep it that way. From that point on she would make intimate advances, which I kept refusing.
She progressively kept going into more detail of all the "nasty things" she'll do to me. Most of which made me feel super uncomfortable. After a month I couldn't handle all the uncomfortable behavior and decided that we couldn't be friends any longer. When I told her our friendship was over, she threatened to tell lies to the authorities about me.
It's hard to describe what I felt that day, but it was mostly fear. I blocked her from everything and blocked her phone number. Luckily that was the last I heard of her.
6. I Bet He Chooses His Words More Wisely Nowman in white dress shirt holding black penPhoto by Caroline LM on Unsplash
My dentist told me this story once. He was still studying to be a dentist and they would work free clinics, often in the poor areas around the campus, for practical requirements. A girl came in a few times to have some cavities filled and by the last session, he said, "Great, we're done, all your holes are filled".
To which she apparently replied, in the chair giving him bad sleep-with-me eyes, "not all of them". His wife (then serious girlfriend) was the dental assistant, and he says the combination of location, situation, and the circumstances creeped him out so much he nearly ran out of the office.
7. It’s The Hair That Got Me On This One
Ok so here’s mine. I was at summer camp for blind and visually impaired people, and we were going somewhere. I was on the bus and me and my friend were talking and all of a sudden, he said: “Oh yeah, by the way there’s this girl that told me that she likes you and that she’s going to sneak into your room and watch you sleep. She wanted you to know that".
I didn’t believe it at first, but the next morning I noticed that I lost some hair. And then I thought to myself, “Okay, what the actual heck is going on here”. And then it happened every night. The next year I went, it happened again, and then I started to make sure my window was locked.
I then heard knocking repeatedly, plus: “I know you’re in there, open the window”, in a whispered voice. I got the heck out right then and there.
8. A Secret Admirer Gone Too Far
Back when I was 19-20 years old, I had a part-time counter job at local shop. After work, I started finding notes tucked under my windshield wiper when I went out to my car. They were casual, "You’re so cute, I want to get to know you" type of notes. There was no name or anything, so I just kind of shrugged it off and went about my business.
The notes started becoming more frequent, and eventually turned into full on love letters. They talked about being lonely and wanting to be my girlfriend, but she was too shy to talk to me. At that point I started to get concerned, so I asked the people I worked with if they knew anything.
None of them knew a thing about it, but thought it was hilarious. Then something really put me over the top. One night I went out to my car as usual. This time there was nothing on my windshield, but I get in my car and notice a wrapped present with an envelope taped to it. I open the gift, it's a very expensive bottle of booze, which I threw out.
I read the letter and its super inappropriate and vulgar, clearly from a woman. I still have no idea who is doing this. This keeps on going with a different gift the next few nights; a CD from my favorite band, a gift card to a restaurant. At this point I'm super freaked out and talk to my boss to see if there is anything they could do.
They basically shut me down and wished me good luck with the issue. That night I triple checked to make sure my car door was locked, and sure enough, after my shift another bottle and a letter. I called my boss the next day and quit. Never went back, never found out who it was.
9. Gotcha Therewoman in blue tank top standing beside white wallPhoto by ThisisEngineering RAEng on Unsplash
I started a new job and I shared a small office with a woman my age and a couple of other people. She was kind of cute but also weird and super naïve; she grew up in a very rural area. She'd flirt with me a lot, but I wasn't interested.
So, she started sending me emails. They were super long, detailing her whole day. And she sent them to me every day. I never responded. Then one day she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn't work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day.
She didn't. They kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day. Eventually, I had another female office mate who was her friend have a talk with her. Finally, the emails stopped.
Not too long after, I moved very far away. Like, the other side of the world far away. That's when I found out some extremely disturbing news. Another office mate sent me an email after I had been there a few months asking me what city I lived in. I told her, and she wrote back that she had heard the crazy emailer was moving there.
To this same small city halfway around the world. That couldn't be a coincidence, right? I asked the office mate for more details, and it got creepier and creepier. She was moving into my neighborhood, she had gotten a job nearby, and she was looking for an "old friend”.
It was about a week before the old office mate finally came clean that she was messing with me.
10. New Girl Intuition
The girl I was dating asked if I had changed the locks since breaking up with my ex, even though the breakup was months prior. I'm like, "No, but she wasn't a crazy person so I never worried about it".
She said if I didn’t change the locks, she wasn’t comfortable sleeping over. So, I changed the locks. I wasn't prepared for what happened next. This ex sent me an angry text the next day saying, "So you changed your locks huh? Real nice, jerk". Apparently she had been coming over this whole time and doing who knows what.
11. Young Crushes
When I was about 17 years old, I worked at a cafeteria and some girls (who were around 11 and 13) were chasing me for weeks. They even waited in front of my door when I had to go to work to chase me all the way up there.
One day I was working and the cafeteria was full of people when the 11-year-old girl said "When can I sleep with you?" Everyone instantly looked at me. Uncomfortable isn’t even the right word to describe my feelings at that moment.
12. Blood, Sweat And Tearsperson cutting vegetables with knifePhoto by Alyson McPhee on Unsplash
"Did you enjoy that dinner? I put my blood in it. Now part of me is inside of you".
Yes, this actually happened. I thought she meant she put a lot of work into it, like, "blood, sweat, and tears", so asked her. Nope, it was way worse than I thought. She actually showed me the cut she made to bleed herself into the dinner.
13. Run, Just Run
This girl I was seeing said, and did, something super creepy: "Just so you know, I wrote your name on my leg with a boxcutter so I'll always have you near me". I had no idea how to respond to that. I really hope it didn’t scar forever, because we are definitely not still together.
14. Woof, Woof
When I was in grade school, a girl snuck up behind me in gym class to sniff my butt. I caught her in the act, and just felt gross.
15. Stand-In Boyfriendsmiling man standing near green treesPhoto by Warren on Unsplash
I have a good creepy story. There were some foreign students in a local university, who all told their family and friends back home they have an American boyfriend. They decided to work together to trick the people back home by getting a random average guy to pose in pictures with them, and even treat him to a nice dinner. I’ve was that guy.
16. Friend Zone Revenge
Someone I considered a friend started to catch feelings for me. She then found out I had a girlfriend and I didn't feel the same for her. Her response was deranged. First, she found out who my girlfriend was somehow.
She then messaged her and tried to tell her that I was cheating on her with her and that I was…into younger girls (the "friend" was a couple of years younger than us). Luckily, I was with my girlfriend when she got that message so I could explain the situation, then we blocked her.
The next day she messaged her again from an alternate account.
17. Cruise Ship Creep
I once got a message on Instagram from a girl I had met on a cruise saying she loved our time together and asking if I preferred her over my girlfriend. I had maybe spoken to her once and always with people around, so obviously nothing had happened.
My girlfriend was with me when the messages came through, so it was tough to explain at first. You can't really prove something isn't true without witnesses. Looking back now, I just wonder why someone would ever actively try to mess up someone else's life for no reason.
18. Oh, So It’s That Kind Of Partygroup of people tossing wine glassPhoto by Kelsey Chance on Unsplash
In my early 20s, I was at a party and the hosting woman suddenly, full-on grabbed at my pants. Strange, yes. But what made it creepy is that we were right in front of her mother, who was cheering her on.
19. And This Is Why We Don’t Use Phone Books Anymore
Some girl found out my address from the phone book—this was the 90s—and she sat outside my house for multiple nights. She stayed ALL night, just watching my house. I live in the middle of the woods, miles outside of town. We only had one date and agreed to leave it at that. I found out some time later what she had been doing.
20. Anything But That
The creepiest thing a girl has ever said to me was: "I kind of write Twilight fan fiction". It was an instant deal breaker for me.
21. Not Coola young boy holding his hands upPhoto by Oyemike Princewill on Unsplash
I met this girl online and talked to her a bit. I did start to like her. Later, I found out that the picture she showed me of herself was actually a picture of her friend who had died from cancer some years back. I was mortified.
22. Never Give Up
I’ve had a girl create about 50 different Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram accounts, all to try to get me to friend her. I’ve never met this woman in person, and yet every few weeks I’ll get a handful of friend requests from her.
23. Too Soon
A woman once said to me, “I want a baby. I think you'd make beautiful babies”. I was only 18-years-old at the time. That definitely creeped me out.
24. She’s Closer Than You Thoughtpeople sitting down inside vehiclePhoto by Mitchell Johnson on Unsplash
I chatted with a girl online for a few days back in the day. One day we were chatting and she said that I looked sad on the bus that morning. There was just one problem. I had never met her in person.
25. Sealed With Love
I would have to say the creepiest thing for me was when a girl I barely knew figured out my class schedule. She would then leave me letters in sealed envelopes, giving them to my teachers to give to me.
26. Well, You Don’t Win If You Don’t Try
I was going to head home after a night out, and as I was getting into my taxi a girl jumped in after me. I asked what they were doing and she said "I'm coming home with you". Nope. The taxi driver helped me and she got out of the car eventually, but only after I repeatedly shot down her advances.
27. Hopefully She Wasn’t Projectingbrown short coated dog running on green grass field during daytimePhoto by Emil Priver on Unsplash
I’m going to keep this one short because it really packs a punch…I once dated a girl who thought it was suspicious that a single guy had a female dog.
28. Daddy Issues
A girl I was hooking up with asked me to dress up in army gear and act tough. Okay, sounds reasonable enough, everybody is allowed to have their tastes in the bedroom. But I didn't know what she was really planning. She timed all this so that her dad was getting home mid-act. I freaked out and ran out of there.
29. That Escalated Quickly
The woman I was seeing carved my initials into her arm. Me, being the genius that I was, was flattered and married her.
I was not a smart man. We later divorced after I found her in bed with her teenage cousin. I’ll say it again: I. Was. Not. A. Smart. Man.
30. The Trash Took Itself Outgreen trash bin beside brown buildingPhoto by Jake Heidecker on Unsplash
A girl came up to me and said: "I had a dream that you and I messed around behind the dumpster, and I can't get it out of my head. Come on, let's go". And then she grabbed me by the waist to lead the way.
For context, I was in high school and this girl was "friends" with my longtime girlfriend, and everyone knew about our relationship. It was closed, monogamous, unexciting, and sweet. And this fake friend pulled this nonsense.
I was angry. But I didn't turn her in because who knows what she'd say I did to school admins. I did tell my then-girlfriend, who cut her off forever.
31. Hopefully He Got A Copy Of This
My ex wrote her 30-page final paper about me, going into great detail about how bad of a boyfriend I was. We were only exclusive for two months.
32. Don’t Forget The Hot Chocolate
I had a girl ask me to break into her apartment and make her hot chocolate in her kitchen, while she hid, scared in her bedroom… then I was supposed to go in and get it on with her. It was some weird role play idea. She really emphasized the hot chocolate though, which is what was weird to me. Especially because we didn’t even drink it.
33. Classicpregnant near doorPhoto by Camylla Battani on Unsplash
My ex faked being pregnant to stop me from breaking up with her. Every breakup after that, I waited until my girl’s period before breaking up with her. Having a crazy partner bargain with the life of your unborn child will mess you up.
34. What’s In A Name
I was dating a girl named Alison. My Grandma is also named Alison. I had mentioned that I found it a little weird that they had the same name. Her response haunts me. Once as we were becoming intimate, she asked, "Does this make you think of your grandma"? It didn't. Until then.
35. He’s Still Salty About It
I was at a costume party dressed as a piece of bacon, and this girl who had been drinking casually walks up to me, bites my chest through the costume and continues to whisper in my ear "what a juicy piece of meat". I probably stood there for a solid minute trying to figure out what just happened before getting the heck out of there.
36. Midnight Watchworm's-view photo of brown concrete buildingPhoto by Daryan Shamkhali on Unsplash
One woman I was dating climbed up the fire escape next door and came in through my first floor bedroom window. That in itself wasn't actually the creepy part. What was creepy was she didn't jump in bed or anything. Instead, I woke up to her standing in the middle of my room, watching me sleep.
She actually turned her head to the side with a creepy smile and said, “Hello, sleepy head”. It was freaky as heck. I put chains on my windows after she left that day and told her it was to stop the cat from getting out my window.
37. She’s A Keeper
She said: "I can poo bigger than you can"! as she began dropping her pants. To be fair, we were only four years old at the time, behind my parent’s garage. And though I lost that contest, I married her years later and have since upped my game.
38. Umm, What?
The creepiest thing a woman ever said to me was: "Your lips looked dry while you were sleeping, so I licked them for you".
39. He Needed To Come To Terms With Her Daddy Issues Firstman in black crew neck t-shirtPhoto by Noah Blaine Clark on Unsplash
I was literally in bed with this girl when she whispers "You know why I’ve always liked you"? I asked why and she said, "You remind me of my dad". I didn’t leave right away, but I didn't call her for a while after that.
40. She Put A Spell On You
Once, my long-ago ex wanted to collect my fingernails and toenails for some kind of spell. And she'd sing creepily by herself in the dark at the foot of the bed. It was the creepiest thing I have experienced to this day.
41. Future Son-In-Law
The creepiest thing a woman ever said to me was: "I should hook you up with my daughter". She said this while she and I were in bed. Oh, that's not all. Her daughter wasn't even 18, and I was in my mid-40s. I was very weirded out by it.
42. How Do I Get A Stalker Like This?group of people near bonfire near trees during nighttimePhoto by Tegan Mierle on Unsplash
This didn't happen to me, but when my dad was at sleep-away camp as a teenager, this girl had a crush on him so she snuck into his cabin and folded and reorganized all of his clothes. To be clear, my dad didn’t know her at all.
43. He Put Her On The Porch
My ex of less than a week climbed through my first-floor apartment bedroom window. It was 2:30 AM and she had been drinking. While climbing, one of her shoes fell off, and when she saw it she thought that it was another girl’s shoe.
She began to beat me with her shoe while yelling, "Whose shoe is this"? I had to bear hug her to get her to stop, and then I carried her out to the front door and placed her on the porch.
44. She Was Asserting Dominance
This girl didn’t say anything creepy; she DID something creepy. She took my hand, put it between her legs, and peed in it. Without any warning. I was absolutely disgusted to say the least. She said it was her thing.
45. That’s Just Weirdpersons left hand doing peace signPhoto by gryffyn m on Unsplash
The creepiest thing I experienced with a woman was when I found half a bag of toenail clippings in her closet. When I confronted her about it, she said, "Yeah, I like to save them for later when I want a midnight snack". I gagged and got the heck out of there, needless to say.
46. Oh, Sorry I Wasn’t Listening
About six months after our breakup, my ex called me because she wanted to see me. It seemed strange to me but I accepted. When we met, she was friendly and all. It turned quickly into a nightmare. At a certain point, she pulls out a sheet of paper in which there was a list written of all the men she slept with after our relationship.
She read it all to me, with an accurate description of every intimate encounter. Well, it was awkward so I just sat there quietly, and then ordered my meal.
47. This One Is Movie Material
My wife and I were in town with our two-year-old son visiting my parents when an old high school friend (she was only ever a friend) came by to meet my wife and son. After we all sat and talked for a few hours and after what felt like a pretty normal night of company, we all got up to say good night. Then the most shocking moment of my life happened.
The friend hugged my wife goodbye then turned to me, grasped me very firmly into a hug, kissed me on the lips, and then whispered into my ear, "Your son should have been ours. I love you"!
She then turned away like it was totally normal and waved goodbye to us and left. My wife didn't see or hear any of it and I never told her. She thinks the girl is a decent person and we'll never see her again.
48. Better Late Than NeverTattoo neon signagePhoto by Sherman Yang on Unsplash
Here’s a creepy one for you. My ex got my name tattooed on her foot...three years after we broke up.
49. Stranger Danger
This is copied from an email I received from a stalker seven years ago: “When you and she have your baby, rest assured, I’ll be the one that raises it”. This was just many of the creepy things she sent me.
50. Whoa, This Is Next Level
I was talking to a girl on the phone who started telling me a story about how when she was seven, she pushed a girl into a pool and watched her struggle. The girl didn't make it. But that wasn't all. Her grandma came home, found out about it, and told her to tell the authorities it was an accident. That was a warning sign right there.
Love doesn't always mean forever.
That is the more concerning part about chasing the dream. It comes with no guarantees.
Anything and everything can change in an instant.
That person you look at so lovingly for hours on end can one day turn into a troll in your eyes.
They might stand in front of the fridge, wasting cool air while trying to figure out a snack.
(Like, how hard is that to decide?)
They may leave the toilet seat up or wet, or both.
They could have night terrors that shake the walls.
All grounds for dismissal for some folks.
You never know someone until you know.
Redditor xxarisx wanted to hear about the "silly" reasons people have dumped another person, so they asked:
"What’s the pettiest reason to break up with someone?"
I have to admit, I can be petty.
Anything can turn me off.
I can't even explain why.
Wake Up!Tired Wake Up GIF by Veep HBOGiphy
"Your significant other had a nightmare you cheated on them and because of the dream they break up with you."
"Sports rivalries. That's definitely happened, which is hilarious."
"My date and I (not yet in a relationship but very close) stopped seeing each other because of our sports rivalries. She is a huge Messi fan and I am a Ronaldo fan. But the thing is, I don't hate Messi and she really hates Ronaldo. So during one of our dates, we got into a debate about Ronaldo's bad personality (most of our dates somehow will have football conversations, and most of our football conversations are about Ronaldo because she keeps bringing him up; I never say anything about Messi)."
"I was so tired of listening to her talk badly about my idol, so I said: 'No matter how bad you think Ronaldo is, I will always admire him because he is a person who never gives up, even after being defeated many times. Unlike your idol Messi, who failed once and decided to quit the national team. The Argentina president even had to apologize to him to get him to come back, even though he was the one who missed the important penalty.' She stood up and left, and I haven't texted her since then."
'Can we have one of each please?'
"She said she didn’t want dessert but then ate half my slice of pie."
"When my now-wife and I were on our second date, the restaurant didn’t have a printed dessert menu, so the server was telling us the options. I completely zoned out because I was so nervous and also I kinda needed to pee but there hadn’t been a reasonable break in the conversation so I just smiled, and nodded, then when everyone looked at me expectantly, I just said 'Can we have one of each please?' Turns out there had been only two options (a crème brûlée and a chocolate pie situation)."
"Not replying to a text message quickly enough."
"I was in a brief relationship recently with a guy who insisted I turn read receipts on even though I never do for anyone. I told him I felt a little weird about doing it but did it anyway."
"A few weeks later I read one of his texts and didn’t respond for an hour because I was working. After not hearing from me immediately, he texted, 'There’s something very untrustworthy about you' and then told me he needed space. He ghosted me for a week and then dumped me."
"The other person farts in their sleep."
"Everyone farts in their sleep."
Blatant. Serial Killer. Behavior.
"She eats her peas one at a time."
"I had a friend who took hours to eat just about anything. A Snickers bar would take about an hour. She'd eat all the chocolate off first, in little pieces, and then each layer. Spaghetti. One noodle at a time. Drove all her boyfriend's nuts."
"In fourth grade, my bf Justin was demanding I share my cheese puffs. I jokingly said no. He got serious and said do it or I’ll break up with you. I made sure I only ate half and threw the other half away out of pure spite."
"Not your cheesy poofs!????"
"And THAT is how you stave off people who want to get you into an abusive relationship. I'll remember that one. Damn, I love cheese puffs."
"One time I broke up with someone because they were obsessed with Julia Roberts and I just thought she was meh, every time we hung out it was Julia Roberts this, Julia Roberts that. Sheeeeeeeesh."
"Same with my ex but with Pamela Anderson. And he says that he’s a big Pamela Anderson fan but he couldn’t name another movie she was in besides Baywatch which makes me wonder if he’s only into her because of her big jiggly boobs."
"I seriously considered calling off my wedding because he took the wrong exit off the highway. When I got irritated and pointed it out (we were in a rush), he got angry with me and claimed that a city street with stop signs every block was faster than the literal f**king highway going the same route."
"But it was just a symptom of the greater problem - he absolutely had to be the smartest person in the room, even if he had to lie or gaslight in order to make it happen."
"So yes, even though it would be ridiculous to call off a wedding the day before over a navigation mishap, I would have been better off (ignoring my gut cost me thousands in divorce fees, stolen cash, and therapy bills)."
Ok, Bye...Bye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey MouseGiphy
"I had a girl leave me after a week because her ex-boyfriend didn't like me. I gladly went home after hearing that."
Wow. Some people really need to seek therapy before they start trying to date.
There is a lot to of mess to sift through in these brains.