The ER draws a lot of visitors. Sometimes...people who don't really need to be there.
Often, as the case is, kids get taken there by parents who demand attention. Maybe the kid does need to be there, and maybe they don't. But regardless, the parents definitely don't need to be talking to the doctors like this.
Here were some of the answers.
A Matter Of PrioritiesGiphy
A lot of pediatricians will tell you the hardest part of pediatrics isn't the patients, but their parents. It's difficult to explain to hostile parents that their 6 year old with the sniffles will be waiting longer than the 6 year old coughing up blood. We have a specialized children's ER in our state, and many parents bring their children with simple ear infections or colds here instead of their family doctor, because they know the ER has senior specialists. It's a huge burden on the public system. Especially when they act shocked that they have to wait 4 hours after being triaged, and abuse the nurses for it.
Their fears are understandable though, they want what is best for their child. I'd take over-involved before under-involved, any day of the week. Child abuse and neglect is seen in both ER and outpatients, alongside atypical cases. In outpatients there was a child with significant language delay. She was tested for several things like autism, and it turned out her parents just didn't really speak to her. The father worked a lot and the mother openly admitted she just wasn't 'interested', so wouldn't take her to play groups, the park, talk to her, etc.
The mother was extensively interviewed for long-term postpartum depression, both were screened for mental health or domestic issues. Ultimately they were right, they just weren't... interested. The child hadn't been planned, and they just weren't deeply invested in the child-parent relationship. The child was otherwise well looked after in this upper middle class family, but was utterly emotionally neglected. They believed feeding and clothing her was sufficient for normal development. It was bizarre and entitled behaviour.
An Escort To The Door
Saw a 30yo guy who came in with complaint of chest pain. After seeing and examining him, his story sounded like GERD, but cardiac workup was started. Got called away from the module to deal with a teenager who was shot and ended up dying. When I got back the guy's mom was there and was irate that I hadn't been in to talk to her in the 15min since she arrived. I tried to explain that his workup had already been started, there were other patients in the department who also needed my attention, and many of whom were far more sick. She lost it, basically said she didn't care about anyone else and her son was the only one who matters. She wouldn't calm down, and was eventually escorted out by security.
You're Waiting; More At 11
Last time I was in the ER a local news "anchor" came in. I actually did recognize him.
He walked by where we were sitting, and I saw him go up to the check in area and immediately demand to go straight to triage and I heard what you'd expect:
"Don't you know who I am?"
a response I wasn't expecting but made me laugh:
"I do not, and I don't really care."
and something like:
"I don't want to be waiting with all these sick people... you better not make me wait."
To which she told him to have a seat and wait.
It was really funny to listen to. It's the second local news personality I've encountered in my life, and both were super loud.
Your Child Is Not An Inconvenience
Not a doctor, but a nurse and a mom. So this took place in an affluent community in South OC California. When my son was about 5 months old he was in the hospital for a kidney infection. So a sick baby girl is admitted into the next crib, maybe 3 months old.
The father was present when the baby was admitted, then immediately took off. He said something to the effect that he was paying tons of money for his baby to be taken care of in the hospital, so he was going to go home and get a good night's sleep with his wife (who hadn't even bothered to show up).
Meanwhile my husband and I are camped out at our baby's bedside through the night. Keep in mind, this is not a NICU or PICU, just a regular pediatric unit. This is not a locked unit and anyone can come in and out through the night (meaning anyone could come in and pick up their baby and leave). Well, as you can imagine, that poor baby cried all night, the nurse did her best, but with multiple patients to care for she eventually had to call the parents and demand that one of them come back in to hold their baby. They were not happy. I was blown away that they would just leave their baby like that.
Nurses Do Read Minds
Nurse here. My colleague was discharging a patient and, in the process, asked if he needed his parking validated. He sneered at her and responded, "I'm on the board of this hospital. I don't need your validation to do anything."
Turns out he was a local philanthropist and multimillionaire, and I guess we were supposed to know that.
Ah Adults Who Can't Take Care Of Themselves
ER nurse here. Had a minor local celebrity show up in the middle of the night for back pain. He had another man with him, so I asked how they were related. The visitor stated that he was the patient's chauffeur and personal assistant. The visitor then proceeded to inform me of the patient's identity, as if I should be grateful to be taking care of this celebrity.
Woo. Go him, I guess. Having not grown up in the area where I live now, this meant I had literally no idea who he was. Honestly didn't care and still don't.
The visitor also told me that money was no object and that the patient required only the best care and if that meant a helicopter to a specialist or whatever, they could make it happen. The ER I work in is a large academic medical center with more specialists than it knows what to do with. We get people flown in to see them, not usually the other way around.
Spent the rest of the night running back and forth while he screamed bloody murder over his back pain and his personal assistant followed me around expecting me to cater to his employer's every whim. 1/10, do not recommend.
TLDR- Local celebrity dragged his personal assistant out of bed for his back pain, came to my ER and became my ass pain.
Psychosis Comes In Different Forms
Not a doctor, but I had a rather memorable experience. When I was about 21, I began experiencing gallbladder issues. One night, the attack got so bad that I crawled to my roommate's room and asked her to take me to the hospital. As soon as we got there, the nurse immediately took me in for assessment. I was in so much pain that I couldn't talk, so my roommate gave the nurse all my information. The nurse went to get me something for the pain, and my roommate went to call my parents for me, so I was sitting alone in intake for a couple minutes.
This lady comes in, literally picks me up by the arm and leads me back to the waiting area. I didn't even realize this lady wasn't a nurse. All of a sudden, I hear yelling, and I learned later that was transpired was that this lady was actually a patient who was mad that I went to jntake before her, led me back to the waiting room, and tried to take my spot in the intake room. She was escorted out by security.
I Hear You; You Don't Hear Me
I'm not a doctor, but I was a volunteer at my local urgent care clinic.
There was a father there with his maybe 5-6 year old son and they were there for the son's wart treatment where you have to return every week or so. It was a particularly busy day (I volunteer Saturday's) and the queue is like 18 charts long with one doctor on duty. Naturally we have people asking where they are in line and I let them know which includes the father. Maybe an hour passes and I eventually call the two of them. The moment the father walks through the door he starts berating me and asking why he had to wait in the waiting room around sick people with his son, both of whom are not sick.
I explain to him it's a first come first serve basis and that everyone is waiting just as they are. I also point out he could have just waited outside in the hallway and let us know. He then says the last time they were there, they didn't have to wait this long. I tell him it really depends on the amount of people on that given day and that we have no control over it. No matter how much I reasoned with him, he was dead set on yelling at me about the unfairness of his treatment while is poor son is standing there listening to his angry dad.
Going back many years but my favourite:
Me: Inspect child's rash "It's impetigo".
Mother: "What's that?"
Me: "School sores, it's a ..."
Mother literally said: "it can't be that, we are rich"
Mother: "can we see someone more senior?"
Me: gets ED consultant to review
Consultant: "Hello! Oh what do we have here? Oh look impetigo!"
Mother: Stares in disbelief asks to see a paediatric dermatologist as they can't possibly have a "poor" disease.
ED consultant is a super relaxed guy and says "yep" and calls our most Paediatric skin specialist. He is a big deal in the paeds dermatology world and he is our weird rash expert.
He comes to review the patient. We watch him enter the cubicle, a couple of minutes later exits asks for a script pad, scribbles his order goes back in hands the mother the script and she profusely thanks him for his time and expertise. She glares at us as she leaves.
Dr Weird Rash Expert turns to us and says: Impetigo. I just told her it was a unusual variant that children of wealthy people get when in the tropics.
The Queen Is ComingGiphy
I used to volunteer at a hospital and got to overhear a nurse doing her best to not headbutt a woman in all pink with a beehive hair style and giant tortoise shell sunglasses claiming to be distant relatives of royalty. It was extra hilarious because the nurse was kinda ignorant so when the woman claimed to be the second half step-cousin or some sh*t of a duke of Liechtenstein I got to hear in a deep urban accent "licken-what? Liechten-stain? That not a real place now I'mma need you to go take a seat hun"
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.