For a time as a child, you're essentially powerless and beheld to your parents whims and feelings, some of which are not all that charitable.
For example. Your parents are unhappy with the service at a restaurant. They yell at the waitstaff and then demand to speak to a manager. You're forced to sit there while they continue to yell, yell, yell. Yet you can do absolutely nothing.
u/i-am-cheese-1317 asked:
Children of Entitled Parents, what was it like being "that" kid?
Here were some of those answers.
Staying Home
GiphyMy mom is very I-want-to-talk-to-your-manager. She complains about stuff and treats service workers poorly because she sees them as beneath her. She doesn't demand free stuff, and usually doesn't ask for discounts, but she definitely complains about EVERYTHING. Like she once nearly made a phone store employee cry because the in-store stock was different from the website and my mom tried to argue with the poor girl and asked where she could lodge a formal complaint.
Anyway. Pretty much from a young age I was embarrassed by her behaviour, because I never saw any other adults behave like that and I knew it wasn't okay and wasn't normal. I stopped going places with my mom because I knew she would just be a jerk and I didn't want to be associated with it. By the time I was a teenager I'd try to slip notes to employees apologising for her behaviour.
From Oil Money To Borrowing Money
After losing her job in oil and gas which paid >$150k a year, I got the pleasure of paying her property taxes while she took out a reverse mortgage to "renovate the ($600k) house for sale," which never happened. The end result was her being $150k in debt with an unsellable house.
Then her BMW broke. Then her Jaguar broke. She refused to look for work outside of her industry for 3 years, then finally picked up some minimum-wage work 3 years ago. The catch was, she needed my (paid-off, Japanese, 4-cylinder economy)car to get to work. I haven't lived with her for 15 years and walk to work, so it was feasible.
This year, she's been laid off and expected that I was going to keep paying her property taxes while driving my car. I told her I won't give her a dime and I'm taking my car back if the house isn't on the market. She acted like a bratty teenager and continues to accuse me of "threatening" her.
I'm looking for a lawyer... ideally I'll sue her for the money she's borrowed, but ultimately I just want her out of my life entirely.
An Audience
I'm not the child of an entitled parent, but my boyfriend sure is.
His mom is something else, let me tell you. I think the first time I realized I was not going to get along with her, she had taken me and my children to go get McDonald's for everyone.
I already didn't want to go, because I didn't know her well enough to be alone with her for any lengthy amount of time, in my opinion. But went to make my boyfriend happy.
A trip that should have taken, like, twenty minutes tops (she was getting food for 6 people) wound up taking close to an hour.
When we got there, in the drive through no less, she took her sweet time ordering and asking these people all manner of questions about the food. We had everything picked out beforehand, so she spent an extra ten minutes questioning them for just her order alone.
THEN, we get to the window and her card won't work. They tell her that it's their system, not the card. They always have issues with whatever type of card it was she had tried to use.
Now, this woman has all manner of credit cards in her bag. She also always has at LEAST two hundred dollars cash on her. My point being, she could have used a different method of payment. Instead, she makes them run the card, like, six more times. When that doesn't work (and she's been screaming at the poor drive through person the entire time) she pulls up and parks.
Makes me and my kids get out with her because she's acting like a raving lunatic. Says it's because she'll need our help carrying the bags, but it's because she wants an audience.
We go in, and she then proceeds to degrade the kid at the counter. Calls him names. Tells him she's going to call the owner of this particular store because she KNOWS her card will work here and "someone's doing something funny." The whole time, I'm apologizing.
I told my kids to go play so they wouldn't have to witness it. I even offered to pay for the damn food. But she was making such a scene that they just gave her the whole order for free. Like, refused to take my money (probably because she screamed at me for even offering) and told her she had her food, and to leave.
I have hated her ever since.
Isn't It Exhausting To Be So Negative
My parents are fairly relaxed but my paternal grandmother was what's known now as 'a Karen'. I hated being around her. Anywhere we went, she would find a reason to draw attention to us by loudly complaining or criticising everything she could.
Scoffing at merchandise in various shops, scolding employees for things they had no control over, sending food back multiple times in every restaurant, all of that kind of stuff. I've never been that sort myself and even if I'm upset by something, I make it clear to the poor employee that I know it's not their fault in any way. I learned how NOT to behave from her.
Boy, Was My Face Red
Embarrassing. I rarely went with her because I was always mortified, then when I was old enough I would offer to go for her - that really helped. She'd love the opportunity to stay at home while I did the errands.
But oh my god introducing my partner to her was so embarrassing. We went to a fancy seafood restaurant and she orders Pinot Grigio (this place so fancy that they give you the spit bucket for wine). He comes over with the white and she starts screeching "I didn't order THAT! I ordered RED!" and he kind of stutters and it's obvious this poor lad is about to panic.
I'm like "no mum, you definitely said Grigio" (poor boyfriend has no idea what we're talking about because he's not a wine drinker). After insisting she definitely said grigio (me reasoning that I thought to myself "Oh I don't like white so I won't drink tonight" - a lie, I never drink when out with her so I can drive because she always insists on driving home drunk) she accepts her mistake, but doesn't apologise to the waiter who's been awkwardly standing there while we had this discussion. I apologise to him and my mum later says "You know, it's really embarrassing when you apologise for me. You don't have to apologise to them. It's their job!" but I just reminded her that I work in food service so I understand how it feels to be treated like garbage at work and like to make things easier.
It Backfired
It was the most embarrassing thing. I think it's what partially contributed to my social anxiety because she would just make a scene about every little thing. It made me wanna just dissolve into the floor sometimes, I would just cry sometimes too. Like really?
Now it just makes me angry thinking back on it, but I still hate complaining about anything that I could rightfully complain about in public. I refuse to be that person so much that if you give me something completely incorrect at say a Starbucks I will simply smile and walk away with it as if it was the exact thing I ordered. I literally cannot be assertive about it because memories of what my mom was like just come rushing back to me. Ugh.
Comprehension: Lacking
My mom is fine until she doesn't understand what is going on. She isn't the brightest crayon in the box and will start screaming at the person trying to help her and get really upset. I use to have to call help desks for her cuz if she did it she would yell at them because she didn't understand. I also occasionally had to step in when she got heated. She refuses to believe it's her fault she can't understand simple things. You have to figure out how to phrase it so she understands and the older she gets the worst she gets.
Uncooperative Feelings
Both of my parents fit into this category. Best example (featuring dad for this one) is that they wanted to have dinner on my birthday and suggested I pick the place. I picked the wrong place apparently, so when we got there my dad screamed at all the employees, demanded a manager and told him how awful the service was, then left to get fast food while I was still eating. On my birthday.
Although my mom thinking that my wife should take second place to her when got married was pretty bad too.
As for what it was like, embarrassing, stressful, and sadly impactful on my ability to form healthy relationships. I vacillated between terrified to speak up for my self and extreme anger at people. It really did a number of my dating relationships for a good long while, and my wife is super awesome to both be patient with me and help me learn healthy ways to express what I want in life...she's awesome!
I knew it was wrong growing up, but when that's all you know from multiple angles it can be quite difficult to define "normal" or to build healthy habits for social interaction. You know many things that are wrong, but don't know what to replace hem with and your emotions often are uncooperative.
You're The Freakin' Worst Dad
You'd do your very best to avoid going out with that parent. My very entitled dad who also happens to be a homophobe, misogynist, and a body shamer always ALWAYS tries to intimidate people whenever things don't go in his favor. There was this one time when I went out to the mall with him because I needed to buy a pair of shoes for work (i'm a fresh grad and that's my first job, i'm still dependent) and he needed to renew a membership card.
The guy who assisted him told him that it takes two weeks for the renewal to be processed and he got really pissed and started assuming that the guy was gay. He walked out then went back immediately and tried to intimidate him with questions like, "What's your name? You new here? I know who to talk to. I'll make sure you'll remember me" and I was just there sitting on a chair pretending that I don't know him.
It Turned Around In Our Favor
I always lived nicely middle class growing up. My dad started his own company and really started making money after us kids moved out. We started having to sign trust papers every year but I didn't really get what that meant. I (finally) got married a few years ago at an older age (43) and my mom went nuts with it! My dad recently admitted they spent $53 grand on it! I was stunned! I am very happy we didn't have that kind of money growing up though. Kept us kids grounded and realistic about life; But it sure is nice now.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.