Sometimes one action can give a complete impression of a person, and it can't be unseen afterward.
Friendships crash and burn for the same reason they thrive: the relationship is based on the ability to completely let your guard down.
That transparency is a coin with two very different sides.
One is wonderful for its openness and desire to collaborate. Struggles are shared, advice is trusted, and the ability to be one's true self is cherished.
The other side is the kind of trust with a shadow. Simply put, the relationship is taken for granted. Little work is offered because things became too comfortable somewhere along the line.
In those conditions, an ugly corner of character will rear its head one day. And then it's all over with
Yeetus_the_freakus asked, "What was your 'We're done' moment with a friend?"
A Self-Serving Ethos
"She got mad when I was faithful to my girlfriend and turned her down, so she tried to torpedo my relationship." -- Liamiller
"When he was jealous of my relationship with a girl that he liked and tried to make himself look better by trying to make me look bad." -- Denster1
"Apparently when someone gets into a relationship it makes them THAT much more attractive to someone else or they just don't like seeing their 'Lessers' happy." -- Spiced-Apples
Not a Good Look
"He threw a house party. He then convinced everybody to play drinking games and get extremely drunk. He even convinced the dedicated drivers (one of whom was me) to also get drunk by saying everyone can crash at his place so no one needs to drive home and everyone can get drunk."
"He later threw a tantrum because everyone was drunk and he didn't want his house full of drunk people. He then threw everybody out in the middle of the night and just shut the door. He did this twice within one year."
"But Should Old Acquaintances Be Forgot"
"When she complained that I was ruining her new years' eve after a drunk guy assaulted me and hit me with a bar stool and I wanted to go home." -- ElectronicFerret
"Ah yes, how dare you wish to seek medical attention for possible serious injury. So selfish of you. Like seriously, in what world does this dumb piece of sh*t think that's decent logic? She must have been absolutely tanked but that doesn't make it any less stupid and wrong." -- VTark
How Unaware in Your House?...
"Used my house as a middle point so he could come into town and f*** around on his wife (also a friend of mine). When it all blew up he was unaware I knew what was going on and he fed me a bunch of sh*t that wasn't true in attempts to convince me he was somehow the victim."
"So that was that."
The Priorities Come Out
"My grandmother had just passed away, and I was really upset about it. She told me that people die, 'that's how life works,' then proceeded to complain to me for 15 minutes about how upset she was that her mom stole $20 from her to get some weed." -- VaticanCameos714
"Ah the default idgaf answer." -- BobMarleyTot
A Poor Pupper Catalyzed the Break
"When he decided an out-of-town party was more important than staying home with his dog that was dying." -- notasleannotasmean
"Dogs > People 100 times out of 100." -- w0ke_brrr_4444
Rough Place to Patch Things Up. Rougher Place to Screw Things Up.
"When I found out he f*cked my wife in the Pizza Hut bathroom. This was nearly 30 years ago and I never spoke to him since, until the other day I was at a convenience store and he walked in and tried to make conversation like we were long lost buddies."
"I never gray rocked anyone so hard."
A Tough Ask
"She was having an affair with a married coworker at my company and asked if I'd spy on him at work for her."
"I was not about to jeopardize my career to facilitate her banging someone else's husband."
Never Looked Back
"He and and another friend complained about a $3 cover charge, insulted the band, insulted the waitress and brought her to tears."
"I stood up, threw enough cash on the table to cover the tab and the cover charge and walked out of the pub."
"Never spoke to them again. That was 16 years ago."
Impatience for Cheap Shots
"When she made fun of my husband to his face. It was when he and I first started dating and she just straight up said: 'What the f*** is wrong with your nose?' "
"For the record there is nothing wrong with his nose, its just a curved nose like idk, Vincent Cassel's. It was pretty rich coming from her. Regardless I stopped talking to her at all after that, total b***h move."
"We were friends for 8 years, neighbors for 3. After we both moved we wound up in different countries for a while, still talked weekly. Then I wound up five hours away from her, I would drive to see her at least every three-four months on my way to take my daughter to her dads even though she was an hour out of my way."
"Loaned her money to keep her water on (never saw the money again, also never asked for it cause if I didn't have it to lose I wouldn't have given it in the first place) paid for everything when we went out."
"She gets a new boyfriend and they drive to my city for a vacation. Tells me she's there. She's 2 miles away in a hotel. I invite her over she says no because boyfriend doesn't want to, I offer to meet her for lunch at the mall she says can't because she missed the shuttle and the 10 min 2 block walk to the mall is too far."
"I just finally said screw it told her she was a crappy friend and haven't spoken to her since. It sucks, I miss her but I have better friends that deserve my attention and time."
"It took about 18 months to two years, but I gave a bunch of money to a 'friend' to buy a beater car for my sibling ($700-$800). I didn't push; work and life gets in the way, but after about a month, I asked what was going on. Apparently there'd been two decent cars on the hook, but they fell through, and now I/we needed to wait. I was cool with that."
"The excuses kept coming, and, at around the 12 month mark, I was asked to do some house/puppy sitting for them. I checked the small tin that had been conspicuously on the TV unit for the past year (I wanted a pizza and was a day before pay), full of money for my sib's car. Yup; empty."
"Okay. Righto. I let it lay for a week or so, then told them that hooray, they didn't need to shill for my sib any longer, as their work was going to enter a lease agreement for a vehicle (absolute f***ing lie). So, if they could just drop the cash back off, that'd be the end of that."
"Cue the next six months of whinging and whining, until I decided it just wasn't worth it; and if they'd been willing to lie to my face for over a year, they're not a friend."
A Slew of Horrible Discoveries
"Damn. I'd say when I realized she was a total sociopath. At first I thought she just had a rough upbringing. But she lied about half the things she accused her parents of.
"Started hitting her boyfriend and blaming it on her multiple personality disorder (something she made up about a year after we became friends). Tried to kick my dog."
"Told me about how she put a hamster in the microwave to watch it blow up. Started to set fires in our neighborhood (never got out of control luckily). And started spreading rumors about me."
The Last Straw
"Anytime we'd hang out, she would do/say some stupid shit that would make me look at her sideways. Then, one day she said something to me so rude, under the guise of being funny and then I snapped on her. That was the last interaction between us years ago."
"Everyone kept pleading for me to reach out and mend things, but I didn't do anything wrong, so."
"Tried for years to keep the friendship going with zero effort from her. Finally had some progress when she got pregnant but quickly realized she only wanted gifts from me."
"I didn't try at all after that, she sent me a happy birthday message along with an invitation to some MLM party she was having, blocked her."
An Ethical Impasse
"She decided to kill her current horse instead of trying to sell him or give him away. She thought he was dangerous, when really she was just a wuss and he didn't want to jump. She had a new horse coming and needed the stall."
"Done. I can't be friends with a person who treats animals as disposable. Especially horses, a herd animal that trusts is enough to let us strap a saddle onto them and ride them around. Don't be a sh** human."
A Hasty Approach to Posting
"My friend posted on Facebook about us going to the pride parade together. I asked him to remove my name or take down the post because I wasn't out to many people yet and we have a lot of the same friends. He flat out refused. What a d***!"
Just a Bad House Guest
"I gave him a ride to brunch. He proceeded to get so drunk that he got all of us kicked out for making repeated lewd sexual comments at the waitress after being warned about it, then he threw up all over the side of my car and said he's pay for washing it, but couldn't come up with 10 bucks when we got to a car wash."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
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"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.