Get it together people! Looking for a job isn't a fun experience but it certainly isn't a difficult experience to do it right. In fact if you apply like a functioning adult you may discover the hunt will take less time. A resume is a basic -and I do mean BASIC- part of finding a job. It's job search 101. How in the world do you do this wrong? These people will tell you.
Redditor u/jamo8211 wanted employers to give some advice on what NOT to do by asking.... Employers of Reddit what's the worst CV you've ever seen?
I just had a pretty entertaining one. Picture of the person applying, what I think was supposed to be the local time, and plenty of bullets. Each bullet was highlighted in a blue or green, then at the end of many of them, it just said: Neglected.
All these skills: Neglected. Wtf? Gogogodzirra
It had a horrible font, was brightly colored and had cutesy paw prints on. mallocuproo
One maybe, but 10?
My old boss kept a file of CVs he thought were terrible, and pulled them out here and there for a laugh. This is for an ESL school, so there were a few from non-native English speakers with really obvious spelling mistakes that should have been caught by any spell-check program.
And then there was the guy who attached like 10 passport photos of himself to the file. Like... why? One maybe, but 10? Why so many? You could just feel the ego dripping out of every sentence in the whole thing, too. scarreddragon28
Not an employer, but looked over CV's to create a shortlist for a job. Worst was one that was half complete (got half way and had a line that said 'to be completed later'). The other, not a CV , but a covering letter about why they wanted the job, what they could do, etc but it completely missed the point of the job/job description (we were defending claims and this letter went on about helping claimants, doing the claimants justice). Both got rejected as the job involved attention to detail and research - neither had proven they could do this. colony_gamer
"expression of interest"Giphy
I work in higher ed and my last role included being responsible for tracking all the applications of interest, which was a year-round, open application for adjuncts who might be available to teach last minute. This one guy kept popping up over and over again when I would update my spreadsheet for the hiring committee. He went to a lot of trouble to create a new username for each submission, because, since it was always open, you can't re-apply for the same position.
That dude's CV was just one page, and I could never figure out why he was submitting it to me. There was nothing about teaching or education on the document, and he didn't include any people as references in the system. He would just type "N/A" in the boxes or "see resume."
The single-page was just his name in a really large font at the top (everything was centered on the page, too), followed by his place and date of birth, his wife's name and when they got married, the names and birthdates of his children (including stepson), a long list of hobbies and interests (reading John Grisham, fishing, vacations with family, TV shows).
That was it. I don't know if he thought an "expression of interest" was just like expressing his interests, and I always wondered why he dedicated so much time to apply for a job I wasn't sure he understood. MrsAnthropy
James in the 3rd person....
A guy's resume read like a story told in the 3rd person.
"James has been interested in IT since he took his first computer class at _____ Jr High. He always excelled at typing, getting high marks in his word processing course at ____ High School. Since then, he has moved on to deeper knowledge with computers, computer systems, and what makes them tick.
James build his first computer in his bedroom from parts he scavenged from Skid Row in 1996. He gained a great amount of still learning how components fit together and how hardware and software join together to make synergies. He took this love of computers and worked at _____ PC Repair in the summer of 2001, building, repairing, and reinstalling hardware, soft-ware, and operating systems (OS's)."
And on and on for several more paragraphs. Typos included. Arkayb33
I've worked in recruitment for almost 4 years now. I've seen some of the worst CVs ever. Here are some examples
- Some people would put "God-fearing" as one of their qualifications. I mean I get we're a religious country but like ??? why
- "Skills: Accounting"
- Those that have "[Insert text here]" that was left unedited
- I would get CVs/Resumes sent through my email that they probably forgot to rename (e.g. Resume_of_mine.pdf)
And many more I cant recall at the moment. arcticmonkeysVEVO
We were hiring for flight dispatchers at my previous company. Come across a guy's resume where it says he was a "Train Operator/Engineer." We were intrigued as to why someone would leave working for UP, BNSF, etc for a flight dispatcher position until we read the second page which had the actual job description:
He was the conductor of the train inside the local mall for kids. Kudos for the wordplay but don't waste my time. tracksuits4all
One guy, he had a period of 4 years where he listed his job as a "Stay at home dad", under which he wrote "learned conflict resolution techniques." MantisToboggan14
Keep the Selfie.....
Managed an electronics retail store so not too many resumes, but lots of terrible applications nonetheless. Had someone list being tall and swimming as skills. Recently had someone who did attach a resume, in which he put both his references AND experience as "available upon request," and listed his nationality, birthdate, parents' names, and marital status below a selfie. ShepardVakarian
We took attendance....Giphy
Their resume said they worked at a previous company that I also worked for. We had only about a dozen employees, and he wasn't one of them. Reasonable_Audience
I don't know them....
Unfortunately, the worst I've ever seen was submitted by my friend who I vouched for before he submitted his resume. Now, we were in all the same college classes, and mostly all the same project groups. So his resume should/could have contained all the same stuff my first resume did, plus what he did the 2 years out of college. I didn't have a whole lot of impressive stuff being just out of college when I applied, but it was well formatted and thought out.
He submitted a jumbled pile of crap. There was at least 4 different fonts, random missing bullets, no sort of organization, missing important dates and keywords. We did the hiring as a team, but my boss handed me his resume and asked "Is this your friend? Is this what he's capable of?" To be honest, I was shocked, because my friend did well in school and was pretty intelligent. All I could say was "He's better in person, and can figure stuff out even if he's never learned it before."
I got him the interview, and my boss wouldn't put him past the first interview. He said it was a horrible interview, and my friend showed no interest and couldn't elaborate on any of the bullet points on his resume whatsoever. It was absolutely shocking and embarrassing for me. CasuallyCompetitive
Maybe it's one long name?
I received a resume by email from "John." The email address had the name as "George" listed. The resume was for "Max." So three different names for one resume.
As if that wasn't bad enough, it was more of a story of his life in paragraph format than citing his skills. my_Favorite_post
You're not J.K. Rowling!
My boss once received a resume written from the perspective of someone witnessing the storming of the Bastille. The torches, explosions off in the distance, the yelling and screaming. Proficiency in Word and Excel.
It was for an assistant level office job. My boss passed on it. soomuchcoffee
He's a recommendation....Giphy
I had a guy apply to an online job posting, but all he sent was a picture of his dog and somehow no contact information. LibbyLewis
Don't judge a tattoo by it's cover.
I do staffing and you wouldn't believe the resumes I have seen.
One time I was trying to fill a 3rd shift warehouse role for minimum wage and it was a super urgent need for our client and in a remote area. The only guy with experience I could get to bite was... Very interesting.
All his resume said was "I've done warehouse stuff for a long time.. I have F**K YOU tatted on my forehead.. Please let me get in front of you though, I'm the definition of don't judge a book by the cover."
Screened the guy, skyped with him, and had him come in to meet with me. He was great. I let the client know what to expect before sending him on the interview. They hired him on the spot. datacollect_ct
The Green Thumb.
A guy applying for a position in agriculture research just sent a photo of a plant in his backyard. funk_truck
You sir do not look like the photo you submitted, this interview is OVER! TomasNavarro
Plot twist: The plant got hired. WizardsVengeance
I wasn't the employer, but a secretary asked to print off all the cover letters and resumes that had come in. In one person's cover letter, I couldn't help but notice a sentence that had (company name) in one of the paragraphs. The person missed spot they were meant to fill in, in this obvious template of a cover letter. I found it funny that they listed, "attention to detail" as one of their greatest strengths. ToughTriflenb
Tell me more about David!
We were hiring for a position in IT recently. One applicant was this lady, around 60. Used to work in IT in the 90s, then quit to watch her daughters children. Most recent job was cashiering in a supermarket.
From her CV I learned: when she was 17 she visited the US for a couple of weeks on a student exchange program, where she met "David." They fell in love. Afterwards they kept in contact, until he eventually came to our country and they got married. They had an exciting life, being roadies for rock bands and such. Somewhere along the line they managed to finish Uni and had two daughters. David was the love of her life.
Then something happened (unfortunately she didn't elaborate), and David isn't in her life anymore. I never found out whether he died or they got divorced or something. She devoted all her energy to her daughters and their offspring, since that was all she had left of David. Now after the grandchildren are old enough, she wants to work in IT again.
David's name appeared in the application (CV+cover letter) a whopping 17 times. Sometimes I wonder what happened to him. Lazycat0204
Maybe you should apply to Maury?Giphy
I work for one of the largest staffing firms in the United States, so I've seen probably well over one thousand CV's in my tenure here. I wouldn't say this was a "bad" CV, more that it was just the funniest one I've ever seen.
We receive a lot of applications through typical job boards such as Indeed or CareerBuilder, and when they apply we get sent an email that has their CV attached to it with the job they applied for. We received numerous applications from one person, and when we opened the CV attachment expecting to see their experience, it was actually a one page description of how this particular man cheated on his girlfriend multiple times and this was how she was getting back at him, by screwing him out of the positions he was trying to apply for by replacing his CV with this document.
Easily one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my 2 years at this company, we laughed about it for hours.SuperSmashOSU
Or did you mean 'Werky?'
I think it was submitted as a joke (I hope), but it had official header info (name and contact info), but was blank underneath and said, in hand-scrawl: "Me need worky."
What bothered me most is that I would have spelled it "Workie." CitizenCAN_mapleleaf
But could she Bend & Snap?
I'm not sure if it's the worst, but it was the most entertainingly bad. Ya know in Legally Blonde where Reese Witherspoon gives out her resume and its on pink, scented paper?
I got one like that that about 3 years ago, which, looking it up on google just now to confirm, made this reference 15 years out of date (though if it was scented, I missed it). The resume started off, literally her first paragraph, talking about how Legally Blonde was her favorite movie. It was full of doodles in the margins and specifically requested I not contact her previous employers because she felt she was fired unfairly, and instead listed several sorority sisters as references.
She compared herself to Elle Woods several times, explicitly saying any hiring manager who wouldn't hire her off of this resume was doing so because their couldn't handle her individuality. I'm honestly not entirely sure if this was a legit resume or some kind of joke. It had almost nothing to do with the job listing. My manager joked that Buzzfeed was gonna write about me if I didn't call.
The job went unfilled. We chose literally no one over this. linguotgr
All the Info....
I received one which just said "I have no skills cuz I never worked before but I have my GED." Nothing else.
On a different resume I received, the candidate listed his height. He was 5'5. I don't know why he thought that would be relevant. notatallimsure
I am not making this up. I was doing the hiring for a company and a guy put on a line of his 'qualities' that he was "smarter than the average bear" For those of you that don't know, this was a favorite line from the main character in the cartoon Yogi Bear. BeefheartLives
It was worst I've ever seen, but also my favorite.
My company does business with a certain family friendly theme park. This means our employees can't have visible tattoos, crazy hair colors, they need to be able to pass a drug screening, background check, etc. I received a resume for a sales position from a guy we will call Andrew. I just pulled it back up so I can quote it word for word. The cover letter said:
"Hey what's good? I have worked at almost every fast food place around but now it's time to try something new. I don't know how to do retail but I'll learn. I don't have official sales experience of the legal kind of you know what I mean, but that was a few weeks ago and I'm not like that no more"
On his resume he listed the places he worked at and had descriptions such as, "take peoples orders and clean up their messes" and "take peoples orders money and give them their s**t"
I thought the resume was submitted as a joke until I looked Andrew up on Facebook (he had an uncommon last name) and found his profile. watching-the-office
You're full of Swiss....
It was mostly a bunch of bullet points about why he didn't like cheese. Haha! His last job was at a cheese factory.
I suspect he was fired from there and didn't want to say, so he kind of over played the not liking cheese thing as a reason for leaving.
It was still very weird to be on a CV though. thermonuclearmuskrat
It's a Secret...Giphy
I got one with a first name only, no address, no email, no phone number. Even if I wanted to hire him, there was no way to get ahold of him. Token_Black_Rifle
The BF will help....
Just yesterday I was interviewing a girl that mentioned "SQL curiosity" in her CV. So it's the middle of the interview and I randomly ask her if she is confident with SQL to which she responds "Well, I personally don't know how it works, but my boyfriend is a programmer and is very good at it."
No, we did not hire her boyfriend. martinkarolev
Coffee is LIFE!!!Giphy
I helped my old boss scan through CVs a while back.
A student applying for a job as a barista. Their opening line "I don't believe coffee is a drink, I believe it is an experience and you need me to be the face of that journey." He had a little waffle about how coffee changed his life and molded him as a person, how coffee has been his savior in university.
This kid seemed to really be into coffee, it was well written but we were a coffee shop in a shopping centre, we didn't need his prose. He was an English student and the CV read as if it was a piece of course work. The whole thing was in comic sans and the only experience he had down was "Coffee drinker for 19 years" the kid was 19. He didn't get the job, but I'm sure he graduated well with how well the opening letter was written though. Monjara
I Love Font.
Font size 30pt, comic sans, and just described her appearance. "I am looking for a job." izyozy
One of my worst was the opposite. 10pt font, 3 pages, front-and-back describing minute technical details of like every job they'd held in the last 20 years. Dude, you may be qualified, but I'll never know because no one's got time to read your novella in the middle of the work day. disappointer
I had a guy who sent in a resume where he had accidentally pasted an internet banner ad for porn to the top of it. Who knows how many of those he sent out... stars_are_silent
Our office had a submission for a legal assistant and under skills was "always sleeps with one eye open." lcat729
Gripping her pillow tight ? 🤘🏻 slinky999
Wasn't really bad, but he did have a section that stood out.
HEALTH: In good health.
I was hiring EMTs for a health screening, so I can kind of understand it, but just weird.... IrishMedicNJ
My MIL once got one for her accounting office that was a bog standard CV for an low-ranking accounting position.
And attached to it was a huge glossy photo of the applicant on the beach, sprawled on the sand at sunset, with a focus on her ample assets. ky0nshi
By the Slice.
I worked in a cafe and the guy whose job was to wash dishes, showed me his cv for an upcoming job interview
It specified that he 'can cut Mahon cheese, very good thin slice.'
The job was for security. thehazzanator
I needed someone to work at a gas station. Guy applied and his resume said he was the assistant manager everywhere he worked previously. Except he abbreviated it without punctuation.
That's right. He was a 5 time fool Man looking to pump your tank. casualblair
Oh the Young....
Not unusual or sadly unique, but when I was working at pub I was good mates with the manager, and we'd often have a scan through CVs that had been dropped in by young people looking for a job after they left school.
Most of these kids were like 16 or 17 at most, but had CVs that ran to three or four pages. Even someone in their 40s going for a high-flying management job at a world-leading financial company on a few million £ a year should only have one or two pages MAX.
These kids had done nothing aside from GCSE and maybe a paper round, bit of volunteering at most, and that's perfectly fine and reasonable when you're 16 and straight out of school.
What the hell do they get taught in school? To fill out as much crap as possible to make it look good? Why aren't schools teaching them that writing about how they enjoy going to the cinema or gardening with their Dad (a genuine inclusion) is not going to get them a job.
It was waiting-on work at a country pub. Putting nothing except "I have all my limbs and the normal number of chromosones" would have over-qualified them. aegeaorgnqergerh
Own a video production/advertising company. After the first year of business, we were expanding into three different cities. For each city we were wanting two graphic designers, job listings go up, toms of applicants. Since this is & still is my baby, I do all the hiring personally. I go over all the CV's, interview, etc. Cue Mr. Word Art. Not only did he apply for the job in all 3 cities that were up to a thousand miles apart, keep in mind no moving costs etc because we were looking for someone already established in said big city, he sent in three different resumes.
Now, these resumes weren't just any resumes, they were completely, 100% made with word art. The weirdest thing is, they were sent in as a .jpg, so not even a print to PDF, just a screen shot. Each resume contained the same information, but used different, "art," to state the same info. Hands down the worst yet funniest resume I've ever seen. just_a_manatee
I got a resume from an actual prostitute once. She included it on her resume... along with the name of the company and website you could go to book her "services" Listed under her job description was "assessing and meeting clients needs and desires." tossaway587
How you approach life's many trials and tribulations can say a lot about who you are. However, many of us don't necessarily learn some lessons so easily.
Life is complicated. It's messy. Few, if any things, go according to plan. On top of that, sometimes the way we handle our relationships or our obligations might not be the most healthy one.
You live, you learn... or so the saying goes.
People shared their stories after Redditor ryanblumenow asked the online community,
"What did you learn at great personal cost?"
"I broke three..."
"Never trust a ladder set up by someone else. I broke three of my lumbar vertebrae. Thankfully I recovered fully, but damn was that scary. I also bit through my lower lip. I have a nice scar as a memento."
This is terrifying. Glad you're still alive–that you healed is miraculous!
"Even if you work your hardest..."
"Even if you work your hardest, do everything right, and are a great employee… you may still be seen as expendable."
This is true. Your company will never be loyal to you. Don't bend over backwards. Do your job–don't sell your soul.
"That you need to be careful..."
"That you need to be careful what you put up with as it teaches people how to treat you. I lost a lot of 'friends' once I started to set boundaries."
This is very true. I can relate: I definitely lost a few so-called "friends" the second I began standing up for myself.
"This goes for all relationships..."
"Don't listen to what people say, but what they do. This goes for all relationships, both professional and personal."
Amen to that. It's a cliche, but actions absolutely do speak louder than words.
"Family can be just as toxic..."
"Family can be just as toxic for you as anyone else. Sometimes it's best to cut them out."
Ain't that the truth.
Are we trading toxic family stories now?
"If someone gets upset..."
"If someone gets upset at you for trying to establish boundaries with them, it's not you being mean or unreasonable, it's them not caring about your happiness."
This is spot on. Don't trust people who violate your boundaries. Your gut won't lie to you, not about this.
"You can't convince them."
"You cannot, even subtly, force someone to love you. You can't convince them. They either do or they don't, and it's on you to decide what to do with that unchangeable position in mind."
I feel like many people go through their 20s without learning this.
Not that I know anything about this... or anything like that.
"Just because you try to be a good friend..."
"That people aren't always your friend. Gaslighting is real. Just because you try to be a good person doesn't mean good things will happen to you."
Very true. Be very careful about what you put out there. Not everyone has good intentions, though this is not in anyway meant to imply that the world is terrible.
It isn't. Just be judicious.
"You can accomplish..."
"You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Doesn't mean you should. Everything will cost more than you anticipate in ways you can't imagine."
That's a poetic way to put it! Spot on. Everything costs something, even your success.
"That you don't have to run off and get married. A marriage that only lasted one year cost me more than $10K. Life is not a race and you don't need to be married by a certain point or at all for that matter."
"Be patient, make yourself available, gravitate to those who understand you the most."
Awful. It sounds like you have peace of mind now, however, which is priceless.
Don't be so hard on yourself, by the way. We all learn at our own pace.
Here's a tip before we go: Your education is never complete. Life always something to teach you, so just accept it, be open to it, and go in grace.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Is there anyone who loved high school?
High school is a disaster. That is true for like... 95% of us.
it's like being branded. "I survived high school because of this!!"
The past is never really past, is it? What did you see?
Redditor HelloProxima wanted to go back and visit the teenage years, by asking:
"What is the most f**ked up thing that happened in your high school?"
I'm on the fence about high school. I want to hate it, but nostalgia haunts me. I saw a lot of violence, there is that.
We were on CNN.don lemon nodding GIF by Red Table TalkGiphy
"They started charging us for ketchup in the cafeteria. Most of the school boycotted cafeteria lunch and brought all manner of condiments from home. We were on CNN. They eventually caved." ~ Ash3Monti
No one liked him.
"I was big into drama club and musical theatre when I was in high school. There was a girl in the drama club in her freshmen or sophomore year who was super nice and everyone loved her. Her older brother on the the other hand, was a complete and total douchebag. No one liked him."
"He always made inappropriate comments or jokes and no one liked to be around him. One night, he was driving him and his sister back from school when he took a steep curve going around 100 mph. He lost control and hit a telephone pole. His sister died instantly and he was in a coma for a few weeks but ultimately survived."
"Myself and my friends in the drama club were devastated. She was one of the sweetest girls you'll ever met and we all loved her. A year or two later, the brother messages my sister and tries to use his sister's death as leverage to get laid. F**k you, you piece of crap." ~ FearTheKeflex
"Guidance counselor was taking bribes to change grades (Both money and sexual favors). Invited one male student over to his house. Had the student tie him up and hang him by chains in his basement "dungeon." Student was homophobic and while the counselor was tied up, bludgeoned him to death." ~ monthos
"This is not that extreme, but it's still disgusting. We have drinking water taps instead of fountains. One parent was suspicious of whether they were cleaning the tanks or not. So they made an announcement that the tank was being cleaned every single day."
"A lot of us didn't believe it, so a group of boys decided to see for themselves if it was true or not. So they put a dead frog in the tank when there was no one around. I don't even know where they found the frog but they swear they didn't kill it. Anyway the frog was there for a few weeks. And obviously the water started tasting weird."
"After the teachers got multiple complaints, they opened the tank and found the frog. The boys were punished, but they fired back with the fact that they lied about cleaning the tanks. They were still punished, because they proved it in a disgusting way. They could've put literally anything in the tank, but they chose a dead frog." ~ R00mTemperature
The QuadAcds2 Look Away GIF by Anime Crimes DivisionGiphy
"A worker doing stuff on the roof. He fell off. Landed in the 'quad' at lunch. A large piece of machinery fell and squished his head. Like a cartoon, only funny. Like 150 Kids saw this." ~ LordInventus
"The Latin kings gang threatened my cousin and his friends and they had 10 squad cars guarding the whole school and dismissed us the same day early." ~ Terrykrinkle
“it’s gonna blow”
"I had just moved in from Egypt to the states in my senior year of high school. A teacher thought it would be funny to fold a bunch of papers and wrap them in duck tape to make it look like a bomb and threw it my direction and went under his desk saying 'it’s gonna blow.' Everybody started laughing and I was so clueless then I just laughed along. It infuriates me to this day that I didn’t call him out on it or report him." ~ ezzabousaif
"Someone somehow made a bomb threat on a Swedish fish candy. Like one single piece. I don’t know how it happened but he got arrested." ~ ts_13_
"A couple weeks before graduation, this kid hacked into the school system and put a Hitler quote and a Boston bomber reference in the senior quotes for the yearbook. One of the affected parties was a trans girl, and we're still not sure if it was a targeted act because of that."
"Administration didn't find out until the entire senior class had received their books. Some people turned theirs in to get their pages replaced, but some kept it because it was a 'limited edition item' or some stupid sh*t like that. Kid got arrested and charged with cybercrime, since he hacked everyone in our school system's school passwords."
"He was so close to graduating too, but got expelled like two weeks before he could. Looked like a rat too. It was all over the news, and everyone in the state of CT basically knows about this now. Got out on bail for $5000." ~ kocorpsie
Good God!Season 3 What GIF by On My BlockGiphy
"We had a huge fight happen in the girls bathroom."
"Apparently one student brought drugs to school and was selling it to her friends. A completely unrelated student caught on and stole the drugs while everyone else was in class. She was caught snorting the drugs in the bathroom by the group selling the drugs and got the crap beat out of her."
"We also had a recently graduated student murder his parents for insurance money . He hid the bodies in a chicken coop and told everybody they were on vacation. It wasn't until 7 months later the bodies were found by the landlord because the rent was late." ~ randomgenericcow
Enjoy high school, at least try too. Maybe if more kids do that, it wouldn't be so insane.
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You're hungry one night, so you order food. You select your items, go to place your order, and see that the order has an extra $15 in fees tacked on to it, and that's not even including tip!
Believe it or not, there was a time before delivery services. You can very easily just call the restaurant you want and place the order directly. It's pretty easy–and you and the restaurant get to avoid the middle man.
But delivery services have become so ubiquitous over the years that many of us just put up with it. They're legitimate services but honestly, when you see the final price tag, how could you not feel like you've been totally scammed?
People shared their thoughts after Redditor AnnFaulskabek asked the online community,
"What is a legitimate product / service that still feels like a scam?"
"At first I didn't mind..."
"YouTube Premium. At first I didn’t mind the single ad you could skip but now it’s up to two long ads you can’t skip with the mid-roll ads thrown in. They keep upping the ante to force you to subscribe to Premium."
Given the increasingly high number of ads on YouTube, it's pretty astounding that I haven't signed up for Premium yet.
"When you work out..."
"Overdraft fees. When you work out the effective interest rates on overdraft fees, you find there’s a lot of hurting people paying interest that would make a loan shark blush."
Yep, what's up with those?
They're actually a thing. Just try explaining to someone who doesn't know how you get punished for having no money so you have to pay more money and see how they react.
"Phones that no longer..."
"Phones that no longer come with Micro SD card slots so you have to pay for cloud storage if you need more."
One of the most frustrating things. It was so much easier before!
"In the U.S..."
"In the U.S. Having to do my own taxes or pay a company to do my taxes even though the IRS already has all the relevant information."
Well, let's be clear: They don't have everything. What happens if you have items you need to deduct? They definitely don't know how much you've donated to charity.
"There used to be restrictions..."
"Credit/interest rates. There used to be restrictions on who gets a loan and what the rates could be, but private enterprise I guess."
When it comes to having no credit or bad credit, I would choose no credit every single time.
"Insanely good prices..."
"Humble Bundle. Insanely good prices and I can select where my payment goes, so I could donate 100% to the charity. It feels like it's too good to be true. I'm still blown away by it."
Never heard of this before and now I will be on the prowl. Going to do some reading and see if it lives up to the hype.
"Enjoy your entry level job..."
"Oh, you graduated cum laude? Enjoy your entry level job that barely covers the interest on your monthly payment."
Hahahaha don't make me cry.
"THE ABSURDITY OF THE BATTERY LIFE."
"Dell laptops. THE ABSURDITY OF THE BATTERY LIFE."
"Like how the f**k are people are still buying them is beyond me but like, I have one for school and that motherf**ker dies an hour after taking it off the charger. And I don’t even keep background tabs running."
"The whole Dell company is literally a f**king scam."
I think I forget that Dell laptops exist until I see comments like these.
I'll go back to being ignorant, thanks.
"The 15 different streaming services..."
"The 15 different streaming services that you have to sign up for to watch the one good exclusive show on each one instead of just being able to watch them all in one place."
Streaming could have put an end to piracy but then they got so greedy.
"You can't really get away from them."
"My electric company also providing water, natural gas, landline phone and internet."
"You can't really get away from them. Even if you live in an area of town where you can get AT&T or Suddenlink, you still have to pay the electric company for everything else."
Say what! They really have a perfect monopoly going on, don't they?
Well, well, well... there are many things we could add to the list, to be fair.
Like health insurance in the United States. What's up with that? It would be comical if it wasn't so evil.
What do you think is missing from this list? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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When you really think about it, childhood is actually just rife with trauma.
The things we see as children, are things we are never going to escape. And nobody fully prepares you for it.
Every child born should be assigned a therapist along with a pediatrician.
Life is going to bombard us with memories we'll never unsee, because the actions of humans are random and as a child we're forced to watch.
The mark is left. So let's hear about some trauma.
Redditor Banjoman653 wanted to hear from everybody willing to share some childhood tales, by asking:
"What’s a really f**ked up thing you’ve witnessed as a kid but didn’t realise it was until you were older?"
I've seen too much. I wish I could go back, just so I could look away. But, here I am. And you?
"My dad grabbing a knife while punishing my brother. Dad had him sit at the kitchen table and ordered him to put his hands on the table. Dad then put the knife edge on one of my brother's thumbs and threatened to cut his thumbs off. Can't remember what it was about, but this caused me to fear my father from a very young age. My brother was only around 9 or 10 years old at the time." ~ toothbelt
"When I was 8, I took care of my father in home who was dying of AIDS. Mom wasn’t in the picture. None of the adult family wanted to be near him and help out because they all said it was contagious (this was the 90’s and HIV ignorance was still at an all time high.) I changed his diapers, showered him, fed him, gave him his pills. Until he died. As a kid, that was my 'normal.' I didn’t realize it at the time, but it really f**ked me up."
"He was my hero and the strongest man alive to me, and seeing him in such a vulnerable state and reduced to nothing really messed up my brain. It just kinda numbed me. Literally did not/could not cry for 12 whole years after that. I still struggle nowadays to 'feel what I’m supposed to feel' in certain situations, but I’ve gotten a lot better and am definitely more in touch with my emotions." ~ Celery-Bandit
"My mother used to drive home from the hospital she worked at high as hell from the morphine she had stolen and then crawl into my bed and pass out. I used to scream at my dad to come get her out of my room so I could finish my homework and go to sleep for school the next day. It’s a miracle the woman didn’t kill anyone on her drives home." ~ emotionallyallergic
"My dad and I were at an airshow in Toronto in the 90s. We watched this huge plane go up and do a maneuver, and then go into a dive, going nose first into the lake, with a massive splash. My dad was a photographer and had managed to capture the seconds before and after impact, and told me we had to go right away (he booked it to the newspaper with the film roll to get it developed). I said I wanted to watch the rest of the show, because I thought it had just dropped a bomb and flown off. Didn't realize that I had just witnessed 7 people die." ~ nothing_fits
"When I was in elementary school, I became close friends with a family that had children similar in age to me. I only ever saw them at school with their mom and my dad. The oldest daughter and son couldn't stand me and I never knew why, so I would cry and talk to my dad about it and he would reassure me that they did in fact like me."
"During this time, we had a landline at the house and I happened to pick it up one day and heard my dad on the other line with the mom of that family. He was talking about giving her roses and spending time with her. When I asked my dad who that was, because it clearly wasn't my mom, he disconnected all the landlines in the house."
"Turns out, he was absolutely cheating on my mom with this woman and I was inadvertently involved by becoming their friends. Was a pretty sh*t situation in the end." ~ InsomniacCats
"My friend had a lock on the outside of her bedroom door. I thought it was weird but didn't really think much about it. It turned out her parents would literally lock her in her room for long periods of time as punishment." ~ katiegaga87
That's a lot. I was hoping for a few light hearted moments, but as always, life is darker than usual.
"My older brother overdosing, always thought it was normal. Throughout my life (I’m 20) I’ve saved him from dying maybe 3 times I can remember. Always put him in his side, never called the cops. All of my brothers and sister have seen it happen. If he were to die tomorrow I don’t think I could cry, as I’ve cried to many times over his death and… he ended up living. He’s still alive, currently in a sober home." ~ srcapp-
"Lived in a townhouse. In my bedroom at night I would hear the kids next door scream and scream and cry. My parents called the police once, but the man claimed he was 'playing with his kids' and didn't let them in & apparently the police couldn't do anything. Found out when I was older that the man had later tried to kill the whole family, kids, baby included, with a pair of scissors." ~ hokusmouse
"I saw a small child being smothered under a sort of beanbag/giant soft-play thing? facedown in a indoor play area sandpit, other very small children were all playing and jumping on it without realising someone was under it myself included. I was about 5 and the rest of the children were the same age or younger."
After some time an adult noticed and pulled him out unconscious, a women was screaming presumably the mother and i remember the kid being worked on by a doctor or paramedic I’m guessing. I remember my dad asking me very calmly if I saw what happened."
"I’m actually too afraid to bring this up with my parents because i have no idea if the kid died or not or how that might have affected them all these years, as it’s never been brought up. for whatever reason it’s been on my mind lately." ~ doublespiral
"My parents fighting. Whoever was losing would say to me 'I’m going to run away and kill/drown myself if mummy/daddy don’t stop shouting. I can’t take it anymore' and then proceed to leave the house. They’re both still alive and in hindsight I don’t know if they ever meant what they said but now I’m about to have a child of my own I can’t EVER imagine doing that to a child, let alone my own child." ~ allhailsmoothie
The lesson learned? Everyone get a therapist!
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