Employers Share The Worst Job Applicants They've Seen[rebelmouse-image 18348839 is_animated_gif=
_Job interviews can be nerve wracking as can filling out job applications. You wan to make yourself stand out and pop above the crowd. A job interview is life's biggest "Pick me-Pick me" moment. And often we will make a mistake by overlooking a grammatical error of fudge some info here and there. But some people really seem out to lunch before they've even clocked in. Employers and hiring managers have stories for days on what NOT to do.... or just enough to stand out by not acquire a restraining order. _
Redditor _quantummidget _asked the employers of Reddit... **Employers of Reddit, who was the worst job applicant you've ever seen? **Think people. Just think once and a while before you speak or breathe. _
MAYBE YOU SHOULD SEE A THERAPIST FIRST...
First interview question, the candidate starts rambling about an argument that he had with his mother that morning - how she thinks that he's too quiet but he's actually just thinking and that he absolutely HATES when someone interrupts his thinking because then he has to start over again ... this went on for 10 full minutes as he got progressively more and more upset, ending his rant with a loud slam of his hand on the table.
Ohh kaaay - moving on. We ask the next question, and he just sits there staring at the wall. The other interviewer and I exchange desperate glances. After the longest minute I've ever experienced, I offer that we can come back to that question later. He lets out an a long frustrated sigh and just glares at us.
He did not get the job.
THIS ISN'T YOUR VET'S EMAIL BUD...[rebelmouse-image 18348842 is_animated_gif=
I had a guy apply to an online job posting, but all he sent was a picture of his dog and somehow no contact information.
WTF?![rebelmouse-image 18348500 is_animated_gif=
This kid came into the liquor store I work at, was kind of a jerk demanding a job application so I just gave him one to chill him out. He decided he'd fill it out at our counter, with our pen, then proceeded to ask what other liquor stores were around so he could put them as a previous job. What?
You want to lie on your application about working at another liquor store to my face? Idiot. Once he left, I immediately threw the application into the garbage. Oh and he stole our pen.
About a week later he comes back in, said he just got fired from another store in our shopping plaza and asked if we'd hire him. I asked him why he got fired and he said his boss was a jerk for not letting him play candy crush on his phone while he was behind the counter and fired him on the spot. It was his first day there.
WHY NOT? LET'S SEE...[rebelmouse-image 18345452 is_animated_gif=
Got a resume from a "Chicken Deboner," applying for a sales job, and had only has ever been a chicken deboner. That's fine, chickens need to be de-boned i guess. It was written in pencil, on the back of bank stationary. His english was decent and dressed well, so we hired him.
IT'S NOT THAT DETAILED...[rebelmouse-image 18348843 is_animated_gif=
Not an employer but my friend told me one day that she didn't get the theatre manager job she wanted in the local hospital.
She has a degree in film studies. She applied for a job in an operating theatre and didn't even question the application process, she just thought that the questions were purposely challenging.
I GET... THE POINT![rebelmouse-image 18348513 is_animated_gif=
The whole resume was in bullet points, including their name.
DISCO INFERNO!![rebelmouse-image 18977897 is_animated_gif=
For the last 3 places of employment, reason for leaving was listed as: FIRE.
Asked him "What were you fired for?"
He replies "No, no, 'fire'. My exgirlfriend came and burned the place down."
THERE'S NO PLACE FOR YOU HERE...[rebelmouse-image 18346830 is_animated_gif=
She didn't understand we weren't going to hire her. I told her politely, because she was bad and we would never hire her anyway, that we didn't have work for her. She kept telling me when she could start and everything and I kept saying, "I can't hire you, there's literally no work for you here." Which got the reply, "ok, I'll call you Monday to let you know my schedule."
TO EACH THEIR OWN I GUESS...[rebelmouse-image 18350091 is_animated_gif=
I work for a book publishing company- the worst applicant (for a guy who wanted is to publish his original comic) was a dude who wanted us to print his BDSM comic about the Virgin Mary. I forget what the rest of the comic was about- but I was stuck with this guy for 20 min as he enthused about his own artistic prowess.
And I have very little to do with the porn industry, so I was just... Like, I do kids books and old comic book reprints, not porn.
JUST SAY NO...[rebelmouse-image 18348507 is_animated_gif=
Worked in a grocery store chain back in the day. Started as a summer temp and eventually got hired out of high school and stayed on a few years.
As a general rule, the daytime shifts were coveted and mostly given to more experienced employees while a summer temp and one experienced employee would work afternoons (4pm-11:30pm).
One morning, my boss and I were stocking fruit when a mother came in asking for a summer job for her son. No sign of the son himself. My boss told her that he could swing by himself with a resumé for him and he'd look into it as we were looking for summer temps. She simply replied that she was all the resumé he needed as she had many years of experience as an employer and could guarantee that he would do a good job.
At this point, my boss is sort of just dumbfounded, but then she keeps talking. She says that he can not work evenings whatsoever as he's far too busy with his friends, and that he would be working 9am to 5pm at the very latest. He would also be unavailable for weekends and would take a three-week summer holiday to go to Spain with the family.
After this, she just asked my boss_"so, should he just be here Monday morning then?" I've never seen a man struggle so much with giving a professional _"no thanks."
OH HELL NO![rebelmouse-image 18348511 is_animated_gif=
A new waitress came in for her first shift last Sunday. She quit when she learned she would have to broom and mop the floors.
THE FACE SAYS IT ALL...[rebelmouse-image 18977898 is_animated_gif=
An older woman submitted a photo of herself where she needed to attach her resume. She was hired.
THE TRUTH IS BEST...[rebelmouse-image 18348218 is_animated_gif=
Not an employer, but my manager showed me a form filled by an applicant. Under the question _"Why should we hire you," the person wrote _"I don't want to work, my parents threatened to cancel my internet if I don't apply for jobs."
THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK...[rebelmouse-image 18977900 is_animated_gif=
This was 17 years ago, but when I was 21 I had second, part-time, job delivering pizzas for Papa Johns. One day I was waiting for some deliveries when the store manager walked out of his office with a job application and taped it to the wall and said "anybody think we should hire this guy?"
Back then in my state, a job application could ask if you were a convicted felon (a law has since passed making this illegal, unless it is relevant for the job).
On this guy's application where it asks if you are a convicted felon, he answered yes. After that it asks a follow up question: "if answering yes, please explain." This guy wrote "sex stuff". He was not hired.
TRY AGAIN...[rebelmouse-image 18977901 is_animated_gif=
I've seen a resume turned in with their name misspelled and crossed out and then correctly spelled.
YOU WIN![rebelmouse-image 18977902 is_animated_gif=
Once was shown a job application for a college internship that had the applicants flappy bird score on it.
Was it a decent score though?
SAVE UP ALL YOUR TEARS...[rebelmouse-image 18977903 is_animated_gif=
I run a weld shop. Generally speaking, I don't give a crap about past history, tattoos, anything. As long as you're here on time, every day, and do a good job, you're golden. I'll look past a lot on a resume.
One morning I check my email and see a reply to a Craigslist job listing I had posted about a month prior. In the very first mine he says "do you drug test?" Ok, whatever. Most of my guys are on something. I reply back that no, it's not company policy, but I will 'random' at my description. About an hour later I get his resume. Dude had absolutely zero welding experience, which isn't necessarily a problem because some of my best guys have come in with no experience. But this particular resume, if you can even call it that, was one job. Taco Bell. After ignoring the resume, he just shows up like 2 days later. High as kite. This dude was probably 35. He was here for his interview. I had to very kindly tell him to F off.
He started crying. Like full on anger-weeping right in front of me like I just killed his mother. We had to literally drag the dude out of the office. He wiped away his tears, got on his bicycle, and screamed a mouthful of profanities as he pedaled away.
ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE ME?[rebelmouse-image 18977904 is_animated_gif=
A man came into the fancy office I was interning at to ask for a promotion. He wasn't wearing a shirt.
ARE YOU A COUNT?[rebelmouse-image 18359252 is_animated_gif=
I managed a housewares store and some guy came in wanting to apply for a job opening I had. He listed his first name as "Vamp" on the application and while interviewing him I saw that he had vampire teeth in. Needless to say that was a big no on hiring him.
BEST OF THE BEST...[rebelmouse-image 18977908 is_animated_gif=
I worked in recruiting, so I saw tons of resumes.
It's tough when you don't really have any job experience, but I saw one resume where the guy just had:
- contact info
- Education: none
- Work experience: Picking up leaves for old people
That was literally his whole resume. 4 points, 12 pt font, covered an inch and half of a sheet of paper.
When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.
This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.
Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.
Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"
Make sure you want to do it.
"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87
Proceed with caution
"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."
"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."
"And established rules."
"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."
"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414
Make sure you're an active participant
"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."
"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."
"The other dude was a total creep, though."
"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."
"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."
"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow
Look out for ulterior motives
"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."
"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays
Consider a test run?
"Go to a bar together separately."
"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."
"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."
"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer
Query people with experience.
"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."
"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."
"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo
Consider going whole hog.
"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi
Evaluate your relationship first.
"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."
"Have boundaries, and no secrets."
"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455
"Don't do it."
"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."
"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"
"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."
"She enthusiastically agreed."
"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."
"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."
"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."
"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."
"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."
"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."
"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."
"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."
"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."
"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."
"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."
"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."
"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."
"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger
When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.
That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.
It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."
Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.
Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.
One Redditor was curious to hear people's examples of this saying coming to light, either from a personal experience or seeing it happen to a well-known, public figure, leading them to ask:
"Who is your example of 'you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'?"
"He originally stood up for civil rights when it was really unpopular."
"Was hospitalized and accidentally placed in the black ward."
"When the doctors found out, they tried to move him, but he refused."
"Then he became a cult leader and used his power and influence to end the lives of a thousand people."- Crvsby
Earning a position of power
"Working in restaurant kitchens."
"You either burn out young, or become the boss that everyone hates."
"There's exceptions, but that's the rule."- grandpas_old_crow
"Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver."
"Made up a bunch of untested uses for it, treating people having asthma attacks, and drowning victims were the two I remember that he publicly talked up."
"Later, he funded an experiment that involved injecting people with Malaria to see if it would treat other conditions.
"The experiment was found to be unethical by American review boards, so he conducted them in Ethiopia." - User Deleted
"In WW1 he led the French to victory at Verdun, one of the worst battles in human history."
"In WW2, after France was beaten, Petain was the head of state of Vichy France."
"Guy went from the Lion of Verdun to the biggest Nazi collaborator in France."- arthuranymoredonuts
"Every organ until it gets cancer."- SuperBaconjam
"He had the whole country behind him here in Ireland at one point bar people who thought combat sport is grotesque."
"He was witty, original, backing himself up and having a Hollywood like rise to stardom."
"Now he's someone who the whole country is ashamed of, goes punching old men, clearly sleeps around on his wife while she's at home with the kids, just a walking caricature of himself."
"He didn't listen to his own advice."
"Get out."- StephenPigot2020
Turning into our parents
"My dad used to annoy me by calling my Pokemon cards 'Pokey-Mans'."
"Now my kids have them and I do the same thing and it annoys the sh*t out of them."
"Thanks for the (Pokeyman) gold!"- rumpel4skinOU
"Almost died during the revolutionary way, if I recall correctly, and if he had he would have been remembered a huge hero, and a martyr."
"Instead he lived and changed sides, and is remembered only for his being a traitor."- uniqueperson22
Be it someone we knew quite intimately, or someone we admired from a far, it is always heartbreaking to see someone evolve from someone we love, to someone we utterly hate.
Sometimes we do things that have to be done.
And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.
What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.
We may still technically be in the right.
But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.
But still, many people don't care.
Redditor BirdyPizzawanted to see who would fess up about some of the worst things we're responsible for but have no shame.
"What is the darkest thing you have ever done and don’t regret?"
I've stolen from department stores that overcharged. I was arrested. I didn't care. So there...
"Five years ago my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke. Left paralyzed and robbed of his speech and ability to communicate he was a shell of the once vibrant, charismatic man he once was. He was moved into skilled nursing where he lived for nearly two years, he was miserable."
"On my last visit I told him it was okay if he wanted to leave us, that we would miss him but he should go. A week later I received the call that he had passed. Instead of immediate grief I felt relief. Relief that he was finally free. The grief came later and I still miss him every single day."
"Got into a car accident and had to stay with my mom for a couple days to figure out what to do. Went back to my apartment (I had two roommates) and everything was missing from my room. Long story short one of my roommates had everything hidden in her room."
"I called and told her the things were missing from my room and she came up with a lie that a couple girls came to look at my room (I was moving out bc of the accident, long story) and that they must have taken my things. She had everything I owned. Including my grandmothers perfume bottles, stuffed to the back of her closet, under her bed, behind her dresser etc."
"So I packed all of my stuff up. Then took a giant black garbage bag and stuffed as much of her closet in it as I could. Took it to the middle of nowhere, dug a hole and burnt it. She called screaming at me that her stuff was missing. I told her the two girls must have come by and taken her stuff too."
"I hit my uncle left right and center when he was trying to choke my father to death. I was 16 years old at that time, a very skinny girl. I beat his face neck and every part of him that I could target with so much intensity that my knuckles turned blue the next day. I had an animalistic rage that day trying to help my father get away from his death grip. I hate my uncle even today."
"I got anger issues because of growing up around him. And I don't regret beating him that day at all. He was physically abusive to his wife as well. One fine day, his wife retaliated by beating him blue with a stick. And he stopped being physically violent towards her post that."
"A neighbor like 10 years ago was neglecting their dog badly in the heat. The dog escaped often and ended up at the shelter a lot. One day she jumped the fence and got her tie-out cable stuck on the fence. (She was not in danger of choking.) Neighbor put her on a 3-foot-long cable tied to a doorknob, no water, 90 degree day. I let some kind folks steal her, watched the whole thing and said nothing to stop them."
"When my father was dying and in pain I was the one who told the doctors he had been through enough and we couldn't see him suffer anymore. Doctor injected him with something, I assume a morphine mega dose and he passed peacefully moments after. Euthanasia may not be legal in UK but compassionate doctors know what's what. I don't regret it because my pa made me promise I would have his back when he got sick or old. I'm sad he got sick and never got to get old."
That is a lot of mess. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
"One of my ex best friends in high school was a real narcissistic lunatic. Had so many egotistical fantasies about what he deserved but I remained his friend because we met through my close friend (his girlfriend). As I started realizing what a terrible person he was I convinced him to go after his fantasy of a harem by asking to add a 3rd to their relationship, that led to a fight between his gf."
"I called her about it and asked how she felt about him adding someone to their relationship and about him sleeping with her. She said she knew nothing about that and started crying because he cheated on her. I basically helped orchestrate their breakup and have no regrets. She is happy with her first child now and he is in a toxic af relationship with 3 kids, 2 of which aren't his and his partner is 8 years older than him."
"Had to make the choice to take my dad off of life support after he got Covid this year. He was sedated for a couple of weeks and one of his lungs collapsed and I couldn't watch him fall apart anymore. My dad was a bulky dude. Constantly did a lot of outdoor work and to see him bone skinny and have no muscle left killed me and I knew even if he somehow got through it, he would have been so miserable and depressed in that state he was in. I don’t regret it. I think it was the right thing to do by him. I’ll never not miss him though. That was my buddy."
"Turned a close friend into the fish and game. He would poach mountain lions and bears. His whole family would literally shoot them and leave them. He would brag about it. I couldn’t stand it and felt that I needed to stop him. He’s in prison and so is his uncle. I know I ruined his life but he was literally killing so many mountain lions and bears."
"In middle school, there was this group of boys that would corner me in the hallway and try to scare me. I was the perfect target for these little b**tards. I was short, skinny, and had (and still have) and anxiety disorder. One day I just had enough, and asked a friend if I could have an extra pencil, sharpened it as much as I could, and when I saw one of them in the hallway, I stabbed the hell out of his leg. Sh**head got what he deserved."
Wow... we really are a dark and secretive people.