Employees Reveal Their Deepest, Darkest Secrets From Their Jobs[rebelmouse-image 18348786 is_animated_gif=
No matter what job you're working there is always going to be stories. Everyone from the garbageman to the accountant to the movie star has some secrets to spill. None of us walk away unscathed from the daily grind. And if we as consumers knew everything going on behind the scenes... we'd probably never leave the house.
Redditor _ItsMrQ wanted everyone to admit out loud, what is your deepest, darkest truths when it comes to work by asking... *What are your job confessions? _These are some beauties. Note that many people have their Reddit accountants mysteriously deleted after posting. Interesting. *
I'M HERE FOR YOU...
I also cut lightly on the back on your neck because I know it tickles and gives you goosebumps. I hate cutting your kids hair if he cries and moves around. I show you the back of your head with the other mirror even though I know if i messed it up or you don't like it you're too shy to say anything anyway. I remember people that don't tip. I remember people that do tip.
Now for the nice ones. Since its sounding like I'm an a**. Its okay if you don't make small talk. I focus on what I'm doing, so if you don't talk, its fine. I'll just treat you like one of the mannequins we used in school. Its also okay if you talk. If something bothers you, let me know. The blade is too hot? Tell me. Loose hair itchy? Tell me. Im there to make the experience enjoyable for you.
DEAR CUSTOMERS... KINDNESS PAYS OFF...[rebelmouse-image 18348787 is_animated_gif=
i try to sneak more chips into the bag/more cheese on quesadillas/more meat onto any meal if someone is extra nice to me.
DIRTY WORDS...[rebelmouse-image 18348789 is_animated_gif=
I'm an auctioneer, and I do the whole fast talking thing. Sometimes, if I get bored in an auction, I'll sneak in the word 'f**k' into my auction chant. I talk so fast that they don't actually know that I said the word, but it certainly gets their attention. Their eyes get all big, and they kind of look around to see if anyone else heard it. It's a pretty awesome way to amuse myself.
I KNEW I ALWAYS DESERVED AN "A"!!!!![rebelmouse-image 18348790 is_animated_gif=
I'm a teacher. I am always professional when it comes to grading and discipline. Every child is treated the same way. I also do not inflate grades or give "freebies".
However, if at the end of the grading period I notice that a student is 1 point away from moving up a letter grade (69%, 79%, 89%) I might just secretly throw a couple of extra points onto some old assignment. BUT not if you're an a**hole. If you were disrespectful to me or any of the other kids you're out of luck.
I guess it's my own classroom version of reddit's karma.
OH MY GOD ME TOO...[rebelmouse-image 18348791 is_animated_gif=
As a designer, if I don't like you, I will use Comic Sans on your projects. On purpose.
LET'S PLAY MUSICAL CHAIRS...[rebelmouse-image 18977883 is_animated_gif=
I worked at a bar and whenever a regular would get drunk I would move his drink down a few chairs when he went to the bathroom, it really threw them off.
HAVE YOU EATEN TODAY? I GOT YOU.[rebelmouse-image 18977884 is_animated_gif=
Pizza delivery boy. I love it when you call to change your order. Guess who gets to eat the pizza/wings/breadsticks you changed your mind about.
HOLD PLEASE...[rebelmouse-image 18977885 is_animated_gif=
As a pharmacy tech, I ignore customers when they're on their phones. Data entry is a big part of the job, so I focus on that until their conversation is done. Prescription drugs, from antibiotics to ADHD meds, are a big deal. They need to be taken seriously (pun intended).
I KNEW IT![rebelmouse-image 18977887 is_animated_gif=
When I worked retail and a horrible customer would tell me "go check the back", that was my cue to take a short break in the back room before going back out and saying we didn't have it. Without even looking.
NEXT WINDOW PLEASE...[rebelmouse-image 18977888 is_animated_gif=
If you're a d**k to me at the speaker when I take your order your drink is getting more ice than average. Vice versa for nice people.
KEEP THE CHANGE![rebelmouse-image 18977889 is_animated_gif=
I'm a cashier. When an item rings up with an amount where I'd have to give the customer a lot of change, I normally round up to save myself and them the trouble.
If you're an a**hole? I punish you with change.
JUST HANG UP.[rebelmouse-image 18977890 is_animated_gif=
I work IT over the phone. I work MUCH harder for nice and/or easy going people that call in. I'll make a much more honest effort to fix the problems of nice people. If you call and are a complete tool to me, I will send your stuff to someone else, and it will take a lot longer to get your computer fixed.
WE HERE YOU AND YOU ARE JUST STANK.[rebelmouse-image 18977891 is_animated_gif=
I've been a lifeguard for many years. You're barely aware of us but we know everything about you.
You don't realize that we can hear all of your conversations. And we judge you for it. It's common for us to chat about how horrible of a parent you are or the details of your divorce.
TURN THE PAGE...[rebelmouse-image 18353228 is_animated_gif=
I judge you on your reading material, and I'm more likely to waive fines if I like what you read.
THANKS FOR READING..[rebelmouse-image 18977892 is_animated_gif=
As someone in an entry level position with an office, I cheat my computer screen in just slightly while I browse Reddit on company time, yet I lower my brow and put my hand on my chin so when people walk by they think I'm hard at work.
ALWAYS GET A SHOT OF ESPRESSO.[rebelmouse-image 18346952 is_animated_gif=
i was a manager at Starbucks for 6 years. if you are ever a jerk to even one of the baristas, you might as well just try again at a new store because the chances are high that you will get decaf for life.
HONESTY AND KINDNESS GOES ALOOOONG WAY![rebelmouse-image 18977893 is_animated_gif=
I'm a nurse, and have the discretion to enforce as well as bend the rules regarding visiting hours. I know a serious illness is difficult on the patient's loved ones, but I won't hesitate to dismiss visitors who are disrespectful to the staff or impede my ability to provide care. If you are respectful and a source of positive energy, I will let you hang out as freely as possible within the privacy laws.
I would never do anything to purposefully harm a patient, but I do wonder about people who feel the need to be condescending a**hats to someone they know is about to stick them with a needle.
If you aren't happy with a health care facility's "policies," please don't take it out on the staff. We have no say in how things are staffed or run either. Put your complaint in writing and send it to the CEO/Grand Poobah Unit. If you get a followup survey, respond honestly -- they really stress over those numbers.
I NEED EXTRA EVERYTHING![rebelmouse-image 18977894 is_animated_gif=
When I worked at Chipotle, if you were cool I would give you a super-stuffed, bangin' good burrito and/or not charge you for guacamole. If you were a d**k you bet your butt you were getting charged for that guacamole and you're getting the minimum amount of Chipotle goodness inside your burrito.
Get your damn fingers out of my work station-I'm a burrito artISTE who needs her space!
Also, nice people got free chips, and I gave shirts out to people a few times. The managers weren't thrilled with me.
USE YOUR WORDS!![rebelmouse-image 18977895 is_animated_gif=
When I worked at Disneyland, if someone came up to my vending cart and didn't know what they wanted, I'd move onto the next person until they knew. This would sometimes eliminate my line. If I had no line, I'd go back to drawing.
When someone would say, "I want that one" I'd ask them which one. You'd be surprised to find out how many people don't use their words.
We had two ice cream sandwiches. When a guest gave me a vague answer I would ask them which one until they gave me the name of the ice cream sandwich. I forced them to talk damn it! California Screamin's line will not fill up any faster if you spend one second giving me the name of the ice cream _you _wanted.
I disliked that job for the guests.
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
CommunicationsGIF by HULUGiphy
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
"Proposing mid intercourse."
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
YuckBored Larry Bird GIF by SB NationGiphy
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
FlavorsAmanda Seales Wow GIF by truTVGiphy
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
truthCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Ahhh...Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
Bad LoopSeth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....