It's all over me!

I am a carer for the elderly. Now cleaning up poo and pee is part of my job, I do it everyday but last week was a whole new level. I woke a lady up to give her personal care (shower and whatnot) she goes to the bathroom and sits on the toilet first. Stands up and wipes and then instead of putting the tissue in the toilet and flushing, she puts it in the sink. Okay. No big deal, I'll put it in the toilet for her. Then she takes her clothes off and sits in the shower. I start washing her. I ask her to stand so I can do her bum and back of her legs. She stands and I kneel down to do what I need to do, as I'm cleaning her bum she decides it's a great time to take a poop. All over my arm and the floor. I then have to clean all this up, all the while she's moaning at me 'what's taking so long I'm cold.' little-katy25

Hands off! 

When a five year old I didn't know kept touching my butt and private parts and the teachers didn't really make a big effort to make her stop.

I work as a museums guide mainly for children. tanjasopinion

Gym Life... 

I worked at a gym and was given a task to cut the locks off of unpaid lockers. I didn't finish before people started coming in and a woman came in to the locker room right when I was cutting her lock. She started screaming at me that I was racist, then emailed the VP of the gym about the HORRIBLE thing I did to her.

After this happened the GM called me in to his office and said he was going to put me on a week's paid leave. I said fine, but I'm never cutting locks again and I refuse to interact with that member ever again. Thankfully they recognized she was nuts, so they agreed. DaughterEarth

I'll eat at Burger King instead....

I work at a McDonalds. Someone pooped on the floor, liquid, in the men's bathroom. Thankfully, I remembered a story a manager once said about THEM having to clean it, by policy, because it's a health hazard to have untrained crew clean feces apparently. Guess which manager had to clean the poop up? ThrowawayButNoMain

Somebody has to tell him....

Worked in a huge cube farm. Guy on my team is very overweight and kinda musky smelling. People complain, HR encourages me to talk to him,

Me: "I'm just sitting next to him, this seems like it should be your job as HR."

HR: "the higher-ups have told us to have you do it." Richard-Hindquarters

No bodily harm....

I work in disability support and there isn't much I haven't dealt with but when a client threw a cup of boiling hot soup at me because I wouldn't give her bread (which we were told explicitly not to give her by a dietician and management- a fact that was explained to her multiple times) I just walked out and called my boss to deal with it. I don't care about verbal abuse but I'm not risking second degree burns for minimum wage. HedgehogsAreDope

Commit This! 

I used to work 5, 11 hour shifts a week. One week we were so short-handed I worked 17 hour shifts 3 days in a row. I was only being paid a entry level 9-5 salary. We were all stressed but when my boss called me out for 'lack of commitment' I stood up from my desk and walked out. We weren't exactly saving the world either, it was a recruitment role in England. Applebottomgenes75

How many lives do I have to save?

Saved 2 people's lives in 1 month as a district patrol security officer, heard my boss say "if he gets ANOTHER one, we'll THINK about remembering him someway." There's been a total number of 4 life saving incidents in our department in the last 15 years, 3 of which happened to me. jwsstyles

Does anyone like your boss? lumillion_

Need a Lifeguard?

When a thick stream of sweat drained out of this girls cell phone case. I had to explain to her that her phone had water damage and that she shouldn't work out with her phone in her bra, all the while trying to be professional and not gag while cleaning the mess. (I sold phones at Sprint). NervousSandwich

WHHYYYYY?????!!!!

I work at a daycare making about 15 cents above minimum wage. Poop, pee, vomit, it's all familiar. As the kids are napping I'm eating lunch, I smell a putrid diarrhea smell coming from a kid that's napping about 6 feet away from me. So I go over and check him and sure enough it's him. So I wait just to make sure he's done because I don't want to change his pull-up for him to do it all over the place while I change him. I take a seat right next to him and about a second after I look at him again his eyes SHOOT OPEN extremely wide and he projectile vomits about 5 feet across the room. At that moment I just look at the ground and think, "why?" xTeretto

Out of children's reach....

I'm a nanny. The last family I worked for had a small child and a teenage foster son. One day the baby brought me a used condom out of the teenager's room. I told the mom that was outside my list of acceptable body fluids. louise_louise

Poop is Extra....

My very first shift working non-emergent patient transfer, I was bringing a bedbound nursing home patient to a facility to be treated for his C. Diff. This particular treatment was a fecal transplant - where they stick a large syringe filled with someone else's poo up your butthole in hopes of introducing healthy gut bacteria back into your system.

This poor soul pooped himself with rancid diarrhea at least twice in the 30min drive there. At the facility I had to gown up and help keep him rolled on his side as they went at it with the poop syringe up his anus. Immediately after, he farted and it sent poop splattering up the wall behind him. So they had to cram another syringe up there too.

Then we rolled him back over, wrapped him up in the blankets again, and brought him back home. He kept pooping along the way. All for the wonderfully generous pay of $12/hr. Minimum wage was $10.25 at the time in Ontario. phoenix25

Time's Up!

It's happening now at work. For years we've needed more help and have only lost co-workers. Our work is just piling up and only now have they begun trying to find ways to offload our work. This is fine but when I told my boss I plan on switching careers she then gives me this 2-5 year plan upper management came up with. Like yea, I'm not putting my mental health on hold for 2-5 more years. spaghettilee2112

Take the $$$

When I was a teller I worked in a branch that catered to wealthy folks. Habitually I was expected to walk them out to their car after they puled out large sums of money (just so you know, you have to order it ahead of time) just in case they got robbed I was supposed to, I don't know, fight off their attacker?

Also FYI, bank tellers don't make what you think. You get paid nothing to handle money, not a lot. dannelore

Lipstick Weapon....

When a patient's family member pulled a lipstick shank on another family member. My first thought was "f**k this, I'm not getting stabbed over this job, I'm out." My second thought was to call security – which I did. I'm a nurse. cestdejaentendu

Oh Amy....

When my 70 year old boss handed me a magazine with Amy Schumer in a red velvet teddy on the cover and asked me to figure out to get it for her. She was married, but cheating with a client. Buying sex lingerie is a bit out of my job description. gabberrella24

Caution  Wet Floor...

Was helping at a public event which had demonstrations of a new product.

While one of these was in use a kid peed himself cutting down the number of stations to just 1. I was tasked to make sure no one stepped in or slipped on the pee puddle until a custodian could come and clean it up.

4 calls and an hour later they finally showed up. SteroidSandwich

$20?! That's It?!

Back when I was a contractor that did body transports for funeral homes, I had a LOT of these moments. We were paid $20 per body.

One particular moment that stands out is when I had to untangle a rosary from a man's exploded head and wash the remaining brain matter off the beads so the rosary could be returned to the family. Nope. Not doing that again. Chanalia

Not a referee....

Dealing with office politics. I just want to get my work done, do a good job and make great things. A large part of my salary is meant for work. Not being in meetings deciding stupid small things where everyone argues. SeattleCoffeeRoast

Decreased Value....

I had to tell a customer over the phone that the dry cleaners had to throw out her bed sheets because they were covered in human feces. Not just a little bit of feces but enough that they had to spend the whole day cleaning and sanitizing everything the sheet had touched, including the machines. I was dreading it and thinking how best to handle it sensitively because she must have been ill and embarrassed.

Wrong. She. Was. Furious! and demanded compensation arguing that they were the expensive, high thread count cotton linen.

You know what I don't do on expensive bed sheets lady? Poop on them and then make someone else clean it. maxative

REDDIT