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Employees Share Their 'I Can't Believe I Get Paid For This' Stories

How did I luck out like this?

Employees Share Their 'I Can't Believe I Get Paid For This' Stories
Photo by Shane on Unsplash

Sometimes we just fall into a big pool of luck. And once we're in it we are stunned by the turn of events. But never question it. Just go with it. If that luck spills into finding a job that reaps treasure, treasure you know you're fully earning, just say thank you Universe. There are plenty of people in jobs they loathe and are being underpaid. Remember them.

Redditor user TheLegendH1mself wanted to know who lucked out employment-wise by asking...

What were some "I can't believe i'm getting paid for this" moments at your job?

Red Stickered....

Giphy

Worked retail and had to sticker hundreds of items of clothing with little black sale stickers. Just as I'm finishing up, I was told they changed their mind and wanted me to use red stickers instead. So I went back over every item with red stickers. It was also a public holiday in Australia so I was paid 2.5x my average pay, and spent six hours of my shift doing just that.

dyingonmyhill

"downtime" 

My old job deliberately gave us "downtime" when work was slow and wouldn't give us more to do till like 3. So me and my co-workers downloaded left4dead and played co-op lol

But then the bosses were mad we had so much free time like wtf you're the ones who decided to make it like this.

sadgal12

Smut. 

I write smut for a living. Every now and then, I write a line or get an idea for a story that's so ridiculously over-the-top that I genuinely have to take a step away from my laptop for a second and question exactly how it is this became my life.

My personal favorite is the very nice email I got from someone who wanted me to commission me to write a story about him being sounded by a Hot Wheels car. He wanted the first half of the story to be about the car stretching out his business as it went in, in great detail... and the second half to be about the damage the car's wing mirrors did.

I politely declined.

(I also love my job, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't want to do anything else. It's just really odd sometimes.)

Portarossa

Raise a baby....

In a past job (albeit a low-paid one), I got to help raise a baby sea otter and one day I had the task of combing and fluffing up her fur to keep her waterproof and help her float. I was literally being paid to groom an adorable baby otter.

sentimentalaqua

I want a job sitting at home petting my bunnies. Thank you for inspiring me to reach for my dreams!

shfiven

The Rough Edit.

Giphy

I once worked as a graphic designer for a well known website/Facebook page about movies/series/video games/music, and sometimes I had to do very poor photo edits, like pasting a famous actor's head on the body of a cartoon character to illustrate the fact that this character will have this famous actor's voice in this movie... Or things like that. I was asked to do the crappiest edit possible to make the post funny.

Swimm_

Backstage Pass....

I used to make video content for social media to drive ticket sales for a major arts festival. I would go to the tech rehearsal for major operas, plays, ballet etc. There would be the full cast and orchestra performing as if they were playing to a full house but it was just me and my camera. I could move around to get the right shot.

I could go backstage and interview the performers and whoever else was in my brief to talk to. I got to tour around with an opera once. I have no background in this. I'm completely self taught and had only done really pedestrian jobs before this. It was amazing, I never would have wanted to go to an opera or ballet before this came along. If you ever have the chance to see something like this go. It's not as boring as you think it will be.

SavingsNecessary

​I was a photojournalist.

I was a photojournalist.

Getting paid to sit on the sidelines of major sporting matches, at the sound desk or in the pit of bands from ACDC to ZZTop meet all sorts of interesting people and create a photo to help tell their story.

I photographed John Cleese during a sound check - he went on a 20 minute rant about photographers - I had to ask him to stop as I was laughing so hard I couldn't take pictures, met Jackie Stewart and heard him speak about his time as a formula one driver.

It was an amazing job, and one I was very lucky to do for as long as I did - some days I would think "Some people would pay to be able to do this."

There were crap days too - sitting in the hot sun at a murder scene all day, watching police bag evidence sucks, as does attending car crashes in the middle of the night, in the rain. But I remember the good days better than the bad ones. Echo63_

Exposed. 

Expos. They bought my department first class high-speed train tickets to get there, paid all food, rooms, etc. and let us wander around and see all the technology and innovations. every customer or supplier of ours waved us into their booth, gave us beer, food, and free swag.

After the expo, there was a company party on the expo floor in our booth, free food, booze, and seeing probably 90% of senior staff of our company completely hammered.

Aside from that as a recent grad who had previously only had temp and part time jobs, I'm still amazed I have paid vacation (and a lot of it at that).

UltimateAnswer42

Not a bad gig. 

I lifeguarded for 3 years, sooooo much. When it gets rainy and everyone leaves the pool, they normally keep us around just in case it clears up. We watch tv and raid the snack bar. We play in the pool sometimes and blast music on the speakers. Having a party with a bunch of cute girl lifeguards while getting paid by the hour = not a bad gig.

ADecentURL

Fake News.

Giphy

Not at my job, but I was once in a documentary of the miners strike.

I got paid to spend a weekend throwing fake rocks at fake cops, shouting at them, it was so much fun.

TomasNavarro

110% Positive. 

I used to get paid to hack into companies networks, for the longest time it was my I can't believe I get to do this legally and get paid stupid amounts of money for it. Then it just started angering me when I realized all the companies network security suck, many were hiring me for a compliance check box and when I'd come back the following year they hadn't done anything, in some cases not even change the damn passwords I used from the year prior.

I now maintain a large list of companies I will never do business with using any type of credit card because I'm 110% positive it will be compromised if it hasn't been already.

emhphx

Dungeons and Dragons.

A positive one! I get to teach kids how to play Dungeons and Dragons for six weeks every summer. Rolling into work dressed in an elf princess costume and getting to play a game for seven hours a day it feels unreal. Am still incredulous every time that direct deposit hits.

puppypuppyl0v3

WOOF!!

Giphy

Oh hey I can answer this one. I'm a dog trainer and we help dogs that are reactive to other dogs when on leash (i.e., barking/lunge at dogs when on walks) and one of the ways we do this is to drag a stuffed dog around (looks realistic) at a distance. You even talk to the stuffed dog, pet it, and pretend to feed it. All of this is happening while another trainer feeds the real dog any time they see the fake dog.

I've legit been asked if I'm crazy before until people figure out we are training a dog.

scifihounds

PDF Drawings....

Client wanted do a small tenant improvement to their existing office space and had existing PDF drawings of the office building (floor plans, cross sections etc)

I quoted the client $2k for architectural permit plans which would include redrawing the existing PDFs in AutoCAD and then drawing the proposed plans.

Before I started the task of redrawing the PDFs, I had the idea...

I google searched "PDF to DWG converter"

To my surprise there were many softwares that did this type of conversion.

I managed to finish the entire project in about 5 hours.

2ezyo

The Googler....

Working In IT, getting paid to be a professional googler basically.

Fleedizz

I work IT at a university. Professors are very intelligent, but rarely know how a computer works. I go on calls and spend 30 minutes chatting with smart, interesting people while I run malware scans on their machines. I rarely have a difficult issue to fix, but I walk out of their office as a hero everytime.

morningsdaughter

Save and Print. 

I sometimes use Paint to alter screenshots of a technical drawings which I then paste into PowerPoint to add annotations and then print the whole thing into monochrome pdf. And you best believe we're changing big money for all of this. Also, we print every email.

Radioactdave

beep boop beep...

Giphy

I'm doing a project right now that a drunk monkey could do with his hands tied behind his back.

Microsoft Excel copy paste copy paste beep boop beep...

Mattlenc

Thanks Warren. 

Anytime a client takes me out for lunch or invites me to a golf or shooting tourney. but the craziest for me was when I was taken to a 4 hour "lunch" to a high end steak house on Warren Buffet's credit card. That was pretty dope.

Frekkes

"Remove horse genitals."

Probably the opposite end of the spectrum than intended but I work as a professional photo retoucher for a mid sized e-commerce site that focuses on women's clothing. So one day I was going through and editing lookbook images (meaning we outsourced a photographer, got a more expensive model, and shot on location), and in order to know which images we have a spread sheet which gives me an image number, a deadline, and editing notes which is something specific they want done to the image.

This is where things getting interesting. Im working my way through all of my edits when i come to an image number with a single editing note, "Remove horse genitals." Of course i think its odd and kinda funny but only expect to maybe have to remove a couple equine testes. So i open the image, the model in a field sporting a yellow fluffy coat walking a horse by the reins, and a massive, fully unsheathed, red rocket hanging low.

As I spent the next 5 minutes gingerly, and artfully, making sure this penis doesn't make it to the public I couldn't help but keep asking myself how the heck I'm being paid to photoshop away a horse's penis.

nachorykaart

Nice Legs...

Giphy

I had to rub oil on a model's leg for a photoshoot. It was a positive "I can't believe I'm getting paid for this."

jaylowow

We only have one question: where do we apply?

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People Reveal Their Picks For All-Time Worst Fast Food Restaurant

Reddit user Soy_tu_papi_ asked: 'What’s the worst fast food restaurant?'

Burger and fries on plate
Photo by Haseeb Jamil on Unsplash

A lot of things have gone downhill since the pandemic, and it's made the whole process of bouncing back from those two to three years that much harder.

One thing we can all agree on is the quality of the food that we now find in restaurants, especially the fast-food joints we used to frequent and hit the drive-thru for on the drive home.

Curious what other people thought, Redditor Soy_tu_papi asked:

"What's the worst fast food restaurant?"

Eat... Expensive, Not Fresh

"Subway. The ingredients don't taste fresh. They don't give you enough meat or cheese. The bread tastes sweet. It's not even that cheap anymore."

- Brilliant-Mango-4

There for the Nostalgia

"Tim Hortons. We’re nostalgic for a time when they made fresh donuts and great soup and sandwiches. But that was more than 20 years ago and now everything is just heated from frozen garbage with garbage dish water coffee."

"The only reason they’re around is nostalgia and convenience. Americans for the most part didn’t fall for their crap when they expanded south because they didn’t have one on every corner, and they don’t have the nostalgia, and they already have a s**tty coffee and donut place called Dunkin."

- Strain128

Microwaved Soup

"Really, we all going to pretend like Panera is not fast food?"

- WelderNo6075

"It’s not fast. It's always a 20-minute wait."

- Greedy-Time-3637

"For microwaved soup."

- InsertBlueScreenHere

Hospital Food. Gourmet Prices

"Panera. For when you want hospital food, but you can’t afford the $127,209.00 hospital bill."

- BarnacleMcBarndoor

"Yeah, it’s only $126,208 for Panera."

- sherlock----75

"There is a similar yet worse than Panera hospital food restaurant called Atlanta Bread Company. How these two hell holes stay in business, I have no idea."

- GrandUnhappy9211

New Horizons

"I think KFC abandoned the American market and put all its resources into the Asian market, because omg KFC in Korea is something else. The chicken is breaded perfectly, with no mouth-destroying rock-hard breading and the ratio of breading to actual chicken meat is perfectly balanced."

"Also, the sauce selection; they have so many good sauces. The fries were great too."

- LolitasDaniel

RIP, Potato Wedges

"In my opinion, KFC. They got rid of their beloved potato wedges. The only thing I got there anymore was those and the mashed potatoes."

- dirtymoney

"Wendy’s breakfast potatoes almost fill that hole in my heart."

- Karsa69246

Those Darn Screens

"Any of them that have replaced their menu boards with TV screens that change every 15 seconds so I can't find the price of anything."

- xkulp8

"I hate the TVs. Maybe I'm just a bitter old guy, but they really don't seem to be an improvement. There's just too much going on, and it's too bright. Sure, it's probably more convenient for menu/price changes. But when you add in the cost and electronic waste, it doesn't feel like a net gain."

- BumpyMcBumps

No Longer Affordable

"McDonald’s. They’ve forgotten their role as the place I eat at because I’m broke, probably drunk, and want to fill up for a few bucks. Have you seen their prices lately!?"

- Jlace001

"A quarter pounder meal is over $10. $4 More bucks and you can get a chills old-timer and fries. And they always park you, so not very 'fast,' unless you are talking about the stomach cramps you get after."

- Eric12345678

Define 'Pizza'

"Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready is for when your manager promises you a pizza party when you exceed your sales goal and buys enough for one piece a person, but he's been talking up this party he's going to throw for you all week, so you come in on your day off and see two Hot-N-Ready boxes sitting there and some Dixie cups for water. Sometimes nothing is better, STEVE."

- cold08

"The secret technique for Lil Caesars is to give it another few minutes in the oven/under the broiler at home until it's to your liking."

- KaRabbit

The Great Pizza of the Past

"It hurts me to say this, but Pizza Hut."

"Back in the 80s and early 90s, Pizza Hut was amazing! It's somehow worse than Dominos now. It's a f**king travesty."

- Ocku2

"Their marinara sauce with breadsticks is watery now..."

"My friend and I used to ride our bikes there and play Pac-Man in eighth grade. Their breadsticks and sauce were amazing."

- KkdBaby

Small and Stale

"Whataburger is very hit or miss depending on the individual location. It was also better before it sold out and went national."

- HoovesCarveCrater

"It used to be so good, but it's so bad now. Earlier in the year, I went, and I got a stale bun with a tiny piece of meat they called a hamburger. Then I stupidly went again months later, and got the chicken sandwich. Both the bread and chicken were somehow stale. Never again, it's not worth it."

- user_base56

Belly Bombers, Indeed

"White Castle. I ate there once, and I now know what it feels like to reject an organ."

- flyzapper

"I have a stomach of steel when it comes to fast food. Not even Taco Bell gives me an above-average s**t. But when it comes to White Castle, some things just can't be saved."

- STILETTO_exists

A Rise in Poor Management

"Sonic used to be good."

"I feel for the two workers running the whole place. There used to be a lot of staff to handle the load."

"But now I feel bad going there simply because it's unfair to the workers. Which means corners get cut, things aren't clean, people aren't happy and workers end up catching the blame because there aren't enough of them."

"They really need to get it together. And treat their customers and employees right. It's going to kill their business."

- That_90s_Kid_

"The only Sonic near me stopped serving onion rings, which to me is their best side. And they take for-f**king-ever now to get you food, and half the time it's wrong or half-a**ed. I used to love Sonic, and I still want to and will go there, but every time it's a let-down in some form."

- SweetCosmicPope

"Sonic used to give their managers minority ownership as part of their compensation package. The result was highly motivated managers. Unfortunately, they had to work 80 to 90 hours a week. I thought about getting onboard with them but after using two weeks of vacation from my current job to work there, unpaid, I quickly decided smelling like French fries 24 hours a day, seven days a week was a very bad idea."

- the_beeve

A Series of Failures

"A bad KFC is tough to top, but there are still some amazing ones out there. The key is that it’s busy enough to have fresh chicken and a few employees that aren’t strung out. Not all. Just some."

"Burger King increasingly tastes like the burgers from my elementary school that sat in that weird burger water after being boiled in its own juices. I like their nuggets though."

"What even is Jack in the Box? It’s just some random assortment of food you take kids who can’t agree on what hot garbage they want to eat so you go here and make everyone unhappy."

"I’ve been to Whataburger once and it was bad, but since it’s crazy popular, I assume maybe it was just a bad experience and it was in AZ vs TX."

"I feel like I’m left with Little Caesars at this point, as the person buying those godawful hot and ready things is the epitome of a desperate person just trying to fill their children’s with ‘pizza’, thus the reason why there are any in existence."

- bowindine

So Real for This Answer

"Basically, every single one since the pandemic."

- MythicalMango123

"Dine-in prices for dollar store flavors."

- WannaBeTraveler87

"This is the answer. They are all awful now."

- chris1out

Especially for those of us who had the pleasure of experiencing these food places in the 80s, 90s, and maybe the very earls 2000s, it's terrible to think of how much these places have declined now.

As some Redditors have said, it's almost not worth going to these places anymore. We'd rather preserve the happy memories of going there with our families and friends rather than go for an unhappy meal now.

Red flag
Carson Masterson/Unsplash

If it wasn't for our inner voices warning us about various life predicaments, who knows where we'd end up?

When a salesperson for a product works their charm to persuade us, our instincts may tell us not to rush into purchasing due to the suspicious quality of the product.

When a prospective date shows up in person and they just don't match the impression you got during the online interaction, your gut is telling you to back away.

But sometimes, the warning signs don't come from you.

Strangers online weighed in with their experiences about being tipped off whenRedditor asked:

"What is the biggest red flag you have come across?"

These Redditors discuss polyamory and how it may or may not apply to them.

About Unfaithfulness

"Used polyamory as a scape goat for cheating."

– Helix_On_The_Hill

"I have a friend who claims to be poly. Then she confessed to me that she and her partner hadn't had sex in over a year, supposedly because her prescription meds lowered her libido - so she declared to him she was asexual. Partner just apparently went with it. Last year we went on a group trip overseas, and she immediately f'ked a stranger she met. She told her partner, which made him pretty upset (and he didn't do anything about it other than bottle it up), and that caused some tension during the trip."

"She then explained to me that it's okay to be poly and at the same time refuse to have sex with your primary partner. She offered a compromise to her partner that she would see a sex therapist."

"I ended up biting my tongue (this person reacts badly to getting feedback) and lost a lot of respect for them as a friend, because of the way she treated her partner when it came to sex."

– monkeychasedweasel

Common Strategy

"My Ex used the 'poly so I can cheat' strategy twice because she was disinterested in me. I would go into more detail but I’ve mostly chalked it up to a learning experience, moved on and mostly forgot about it."

"The other thing is that I can be a very clingy person and that’s why the strategy was so effective."

– Helix_On_The_Hill

Updating Your Significant Other

"I decided I'm poly and we're in an open relationship, sorry I didn't tell you until after I cheated".

– anon

"I'm poly. Every once and a while (really only ever seen it online), I'll hear about someone 'coming out' to their partner as poly. Grosses me the hell out."

– petrasdc

Full Transparency

"I would figure that's something you'd mention pretty early on to a potential new partner. Not go 'This isn't what it looks like!' In the middle of things."

– Mike7676

Anger issue is all the rage.

Tipping Point

"I've said it here before on my old account, the biggest red flag is quick to anger. If their default emotion is anger, that's unhealthy. I'm talking about snapping over the smallest mistakes/things. Over the top anger reactions. Any volatile reactions that do not match the situation are huge red flags."

– Practical_Reindeer23

Relationship On The Rocks

"My partner got angry with me while I was having a moment of big overstimulation when we were at a concert, because I physically could not communicate (sometimes that freeze mode really takes hold) and he was trying to get me to leave, as his way of 'fixing' the situation. I at least shook my head no, because I was waiting on the band I wanted to see play, I just couldn’t physically vocalize. I was definitely very tense and was dealing with a lot of ticks, which isn’t normally how I get, but I was trying to handle it on my own, using tapping techniques and things. He got angry that I didn’t do as he wanted and that I didn’t vocalize a response, 'it’s not that hard when someone asks a question for you to answer.'"

"We’ve been together for 7 years and have gone through a roller coaster of changes/self development. But I exploded once I ended up giving in to his wants and leaving the venue."

"I don’t feel supported or listened to or validated, ever. Everything outside of his mindset doesn’t matter to him so why bother discussing anything."

"I hate it here."

– Virtual-Moment-9132

As if first dates weren't already nerve-wracking.

Dating Nature Boy

"The guy would ONLY go on dates in the woods at night. I’m not even kidding. I’d suggest a movie night or a restaurant I wanted to try but it was shut down immediately because he only did dates in the woods. Worst part is I went on 3 of them before I cut him off."

– PixelatedBats

Flashing Warning Sign

"I made out with a guy on a party. He told me 'I have to warn you: I'm really an a**hole.' I was pretty taken aback, then thanked him for the warning and avoided him for the rest of the night."

– skanus_cepelinai

Having Strict Parents

"She asked her mother for permission to eat meat. A 30 year old with a full time job."

– yumsilly

"I had a coworker who had a family tracking app on her phone, but it was her parents tracking her. She was 25."

"She thought it was normal or not a big deal. Her mom would flip out if she did something like go shopping at lunch or spend too much time at the gym."

"Apparently, her mom was super paranoid she was secretly dating 'inferior' men and not the ones she was trying to set up for her daughter."

– ohlookahipster

Year ago I met a guy who was super sweet at work, and there seemed to be a mutual attraction.

However, I didn't jump to pursue anything with him, especially after I found out through a mutual friend that we had conflicting interests.

He was into Nazi uniforms and paraphernalia.

I gradually started disassociating with him because I didn't need that in my life.

It just goes to show, you never really know about a person, even if everything else seems perfect about him.

Golden Gate Bridge
Photo by Ben Harritt on Unsplash

Those living in the world's most well-known cities might be lucky enough to be in the vicinity of iconic landmarks, such as the Empire State Building, Big Ben, or the Golden Gate Bridge.

Then too, some people might live in a town that might not have any places that are popular photo ops, but have a distinguished legacy all their own, such as Salem, Massachusetts or Bentonville, Arkansas.

Of course, even if they don't make the travel guides or the history books, just about every city or town in the world has its own claim to fame.

Some that residents proudly promote, others that people hope never get any major attention outside of town lines.

Redditor Worried-Stable-9963 was eager to hear the biggest claim to fame of people's hometowns, leading them to ask:

"What's the most iconic thing where you live?"

Think Carefully Before Taking A Group Shop...

"Blucifer."

"The giant blue horse sculpture that killed the sculptor."

"It has shining red eyes and is NOT helping the DIA conspiracy rumors."- BeastmodeBallerina

"The [Place] Where It Happen[ed]"...

"Alexander Hamilton was shot in the famous duel in 1804, right down the street from where I live." - Reddit

Bibliophiles Rejoice!

"'Anne of Green Gables'."

"And potatoes."

"But the cruise ships of Asian tourists ain’t here for the spuds."- Blue_Moon_Rabbit

martin sheen marilla cuthbert GIF by PBSGiphy

Doesn't Have Quite The Same Ring To It!

"A Golden Gate bridge that is orange."- CalGoldenBear55

Talk About Nickel And Dime...

"We have two actually."

"A Giant Nickel and the World's tallest Smoke Stack that I refer to as the world's tallest cigarette or 'dart'."- GrungusDnD

"My Kind Of Town..."

"The Sears Tower and Lake Shore Drive."- Acceptable-Yak7968

Beer Pong Chicago GIF by BPONGofficialGiphy

For Writer's Needing Inspiration

"Cannery row."- Zealousideal-Bug7138

"Driving there from San Jose is a nice drive through Steinbeck country."- kathatter75

The True Spirit Of St. Louis

"The Gateway Arch."- NowForMy2ndAct

"That’s the only thing here besides the Cardinals."- Andrew_The_Soviet

The Air Is Full Of Spices...

"Old Bay seasoning."- AlmostSane67

"Natty Boh too?"- i_love_ankh_morpork·

old bay japan GIFGiphy

All Roads Lead To Oregon...

"Mt. Hood, probably."

"Any part of the city with a bit of elevation you can look over on a nice day and see a snow covered volcano towering 11,000ft / 3350m over you."

"Doesn't quite compare to seeing Tahoma (Mt Rainier) from the Seattle area, but still cool."

"Also on a crystal clear day, driving north across the Saint John's Bridge, you can see Mt Hood, Mt Adam, Mt St Helen's, and Rainier all at the same time."

"Also the Portland 'White Stag' billboard."

"Hard to miss that one."- Beekatiebee

How Many People Run The Steps, But Don't Go In The Museum...

"Rocky steps."- Bulky_Ad_3608

"I was more impressed by imperfect love when I visited."- Brok3n_wind

He's Out There Somewhere...

"Mothman."- Deputy_Beagle76

"No recent sightings that I know of."

"But Point Pleasant does have a yearly Mothman Festival that’s really popular."- Deputy_Beagle76

Giphy

Take Flight...

"Birthplace of the Wright Brothers, Air Force base, uhhhh."

"Yeah."- carolinethebandgeek

Don't Forget Your Beignets...

"Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras."- The_Pug

Jolly Old England!

"I live in the oldest town in England."

"We have the oldest church in the world."

"My house dates to the 10th century."

"Come at me bro."- schnitzelvk

World Cup Football GIF by Manne NilssonGiphy

Every town and city in the world will be remembered for something.

Even if some might only be remembered by its residents.

white and gray round plastic decor
Photo by Agent J on Unsplash

About 10 or so years ago, my brother got really into the Illuminati. He spent hours reading and researching and knew everything about the Illuminati. He could recite lectures when asked. I used to tease him about being a conspiracy theorist.

Then, I met a new friend of his. My brother and his friend bonded over their obsession with the Illuminati, but I never teased my brother again. That's because, after meeting his friend, I realized I had it easy.

My brother's friend constantly talked about the Illuminati. He'd find a way to bring every conversation back to the Illuminati or relate every action or word of the Illuminati. My brother only talked about this when asked. His friend didn't even need the slightest prompting.

That was when I first learned that people who are really deep into conspiracy theories show signs that they're deep into it. I'm not the only one who knows this. Redditors know that there are signs people show when they're deep into conspiracy theories and are eager to share what those signs are.

It all started when Redditor sheerduckinghubris asked:

"What is a sign someone is way too deep into conspiracy theories?"

No Tech Please

"An extended family-member-in-law keeps the Wifi router and all other TVs and communication devices, aside from their cell phones, in their house unplugged. If you want to use them while visiting, you have to ask permission, plug them in, then unplug them when you are done. They’re legit afraid of 5G and other radio waves on their physical and mental health, and seriously believe that” the government” is listening and tracking everything they do."

"I always remind them that “the government” is literally other humans that you can interact with, possibly your neighbors that sit on elected and voluntary boards and councils, and not some arbitrary anonymous “the government” entity."

"Them: But but “they’re” poisoning our water!"

"Me: Who? You mean Bill, the director of public works? Let’s call and ask him."

"Them: You can’t just call “them.”"

"Me: Actually, you can, let’s call Bill and ask him if he’s poisoning your water, and while we’re at it, let’s call Tom the major and ask if he’s trying to mind control you."

– jklolffgg

Social Media Signs

"I have a friend from college who has gone down this route. My only reference at this point is the rants he posts on Facebook. But everyone starts out the same: "Facebook keeps taking this down and flagging it because they don't want you to know the truth........""

– CoolHandRK1

"I'm sure this friend has no problem with the cognitive dissonance of "private businesses should be able to do whatever they want" and "I'm being CENSORED by SOCIAL MEDIA.""

– HaveAWillieNiceDay

Too Far Gone

"I think when they start fearing 5G or saying the earth is flat/stop brushing their teeth...I'm good."

– unmistakably

"Wait what stop brushing their teeth?"

– notaveryuniqueuser

"I could be wrong but I think they are scared of fluoride."

– ConnerennoC

"yep. that AND they think their diet makes it so they don't have to brush their teeth. YOU'RE WRONG. I CAN SMELL YOU."

– unmistakably

"This reminds me of how Steve Jobs insisted that he didn't need to bath or wear deodorant because his fruitarian diet flushed his body of mucus so he couldn't smell bad, but everyone around him could smell how utterly wrong he was."

– lesbowski

Signs Of A Shot

"I have a buddy from college who lost his mind during COVID. Now he posts all sorts of weird things on FB. Any time anyone of note dies it’s, “I bet they got the jab! No one just DIES for no reason!”"

– Prsop2000

"I’m a funeral director and embalmer and I had a guy call me one day and ask if I had seen white threads in the blood of people who had died and gotten the Covid shot. MFer how the hell am I going to know if they got vaxxed or not? I had another dude tell me conspiratorially that he knew I was seeing the white threads in blood because other funeral directors had told him that. Uh no they didn’t."

– PsychoticMessiah

Check Out My Ride

"Stickers all over the car."

– harajukukei

"I’ll do you one better. Saw a white beater car with conspiracy theories written all over it in sharpie."

– Ct-5736-Bladez

"My neighborhood has one...I always give it a wide berth..."

– breakermw

Eels, Energize!

"They have conspiracy theories that you’re not ready for."

– Telrom_1

"Like throwing your used car batteries into the ocean so the electric eels can charge."

– One-Permission-1811

"Where do you think the electric eels get their energy from?"

– unsmartkid

Free Thinkers

"They wear a "Warning: Free Thinker" tee shirt to Costco."

– flibbidygibbit

"Ironically mass produced and bought by "free thinkers.""

– mr_remy

"They need a Costco card to shop at Costco. Doesn't that concern them? Why does Costco need to know their names and addresses and keep records of their purchases?"

– CoralSkinRot

Cheeto Hands

"When professionals like doctors and historians are lying but some rando on YouTube in his basement with LED lights in the background and Hot Cheeto cheese on his fingers is telling them the REAL truth about (insert topic here)."

– Late_Comedian_5269

Medical Quacks

"What I find even worse are the (very few, but loud) doctors and other professionals who fall down the rabbit hole and give a bunch of false information. They become a beacon to other nut jobs.

Which is crazy because these nut jobs have 0 trust in doctors but once they find a crazy doctor who shares their opinions, they suddenly trust that one specific doctor."

"The regulatory boards need to remove these doctors who spread harmful messages."

– DantesEdmond

"This happened with the "autism is caused by vaccinations" doctor. He was stripped of his medical license for the insane amount of damage he did with that campaign."

– agolec

"They often do strip them of licenses or whatever the equivalent is in what field they're in. The problem is that for many conspiracy theorists, that's simply proof that the "expert" is right and "they" are trying to hide it by attempting to destroy the person's credibility. Unfortunately, people can delude themselves into believing almost anything."

– CityofOrphans

It's Always Them

"They say something like "It's all a distraction. You see, they don't want you to know what's really going on.""

"Then when you ask them what they think is "really going on", they laugh and call you a "sheeple".

– BubbhaJebus

The Flat-Earthers

"When they install satellite dishes but don't understand how the satellites stay in space because the earth is flat."

"True story when I had satellite internet installed."

– Dijiwolf1975

Chicken Little

"They all have a look in their eye's that screams "the sky is falling". Hyper aware, anxious, paranoid, easily triggered."

– buffslens

Talk Talk Talk

"Don't worry, they'll tell you."

– FishAndRiceKeks

"Yes. And every video they post is from a dude sitting in a car. Just endless dudes in trucks and cars, that's who they get their news from."

– PreferredSelection

"I have a few friends who fell down the rabbit hole."

"The most tell tale sign is that it's literally all they will talk about. At all. Every convo you have? Back to conspiracies, Illuminati, QAnon, pizzagate, the elite, the NWO (not the wrestling kind...)... heavy fixation on Covid.... etc.. Every single one.

"Most of them sound VERY uneducated, but think they solved some master life puzzle. Some may be sovereign citizens."

"Another obvious one... I had one friend who ghosted me. I finally got a hold of him and asked him what's up and he said "well it's because you're a deep state spy.""

– BlackIsTheSoul

"There is this tour provided by this lady in Seattle visiting 90s Seattle music landmarks. It's typically small groups. Around 6 people when I did the tour."

"Most of them sound VERY uneducated, but think they solved some master life puzzle. Some may be sovereign citizens."

"In the middle of the tour, we stopped by a pub for a drink and just to talk. One of them was this US Army dude who tagged along with his wife. 3 minutes after talking about the places we just visited he started telling me his opinion on how certain events like 9-11 were actually perpetrated by the government."

– muthaflicka

"I nodded, and immediately got up and told him I wanted to check out the album covers being displayed on this wall."

"He was around 30-ish, fit, looked sharp and smart, and spoke eloquently about other things. Caught me off-guard."

– muthaflicka

"This is the answer."

"Most of these people have zero self awareness and will reveal themselves pretty early lol."

– nsfwtttt

Yup, that's the biggest sign (and the one my brother's friend gave me)!