Not asking for this to happen to anyone lucky enough to read these stories, but you would hope if you had to make a trip to the emergency room it would be for a worthwhile reason. Maybe you damaged your clavicle bravely fighting off some purse snatchers or injured your fibula rescuing your family from a sinking ship.
Not sticking something up your butt and getting it stuck there.
On purpose. Which happens a lot more than you might think.
Warning, some of these tales from the E.R. are NSFW.
"Redditors who work at the ER, what's the funniest/absurd reason someone was brought in?"
You would expect most of the injuries obtained in the E.R. to come from kids, right?
Sigh, Teenagers Gonna Teenager
"Over the course of an evening 9 teenagers were brought in by their parents for hallucinations."
"None of them were able to tell us what was going on and they trickled in over about 4 hours."
"The drug screens were negative but they were all pretty badly out of it."
"Finally one of the siblings was able to tell us they had all been at the same party."
"One of the teens had talked the others into trying mushrooms except they were mildly poisonous ones instead of the ones you take for 'shrooms'."
"They were all tripping like crazy for the night and they had to stay in the ER until they were sobering up."
"It was amusing for the staff but the parents were quite irate."- Liz4984
"I’m a cop and was posted at the ER on night shift once and a woman came in because she got bit by a snake in her yard."
"She was panicking because of it."
"Her hand was really swollen."
"One of the nurses asked if she saw what kind of snake it was and she said no."
"A couple of minutes later, these two boys, maybe 12-13, came running in holding a decapitated snake in pieces inside of a ziploc bag."
"They had rode their bikes from their house to the hospital to show the doctors the snake that bit this lady."
"Like these kids heard about what happened and went on her yard to kill the snake just to do this."
"It was funny and oddly heartwarming." - Amy-Paradisebag snakes GIFGiphy
You really need to question the sanity of some of these people before they visited the hospital. Ask questions like, "Why weren't you brought in sooner for just being alive?"
Seemed Like The Right Call To Make At The Time
"When asking what brought him in today he said he was arguing with his sister about the car and how much this costs and carrying on, had to stop and ask him again why is he here."
"His reasoning was he was tired of arguing with his sister and would rather be admitted to the hospital."- Lil-one
Wait Until All Of It Is Good And Out
"A woman came in after she cut her hand pretty bad making dinner."
"Instead of putting any pressure on the cut to stop the bleeding, she was just letting herself bleed into a large kitchen bowl."- Virtual-Cupcake-1510
With Friends Like These?
"Had a guy come in after smoking weed with his friends and then he also did PCP."
"His friends got very paranoid and he became aggressive towards them, so naturally they attacked him… with a samurai sword."- Current_Recording_64Mean Lets Go GIF by Arrow VideoGiphy
And then there's these.
The ones you were all waiting for with delightful, Schadenfreudian glee.
The sex ones.
Wait, This Happens So Often There's A Nickname For It???
"As a kid, my Mom's EMT stories seemed hilarious, but as an adult I don't think I'd have the patience to tolerate so many people's bullsh-t."
"That being said, here goes the story."
"They get a call that a guy has a sever nosebleed, is already feeling dizzy, losing a lot of blood and can't stop it."
"Needless to say they floor it, thinking the guy might bleed out, get there in very short time."
"They ring the doorbell, a guy answers."
"They ask him to take them to the victim, he says they're talking to him."
"Not one drop of blood on the guy's face or clothes or anywhere, cheeks all rosy, doesn't look like he's lost a lot of blood so they ask what the deal is."
"He says it's hard to explain but he was worried they wouldn't send him an ambulance if he was honest about his symptoms and he's in a lot of pain."
"My mom tells him to sit down and tell them about the symptoms while they take his blood pressure."
"Guy says he'll do all of that, except for the sitting down part."
"Now, I bet you all know where this is going."
"Turns out he'd been trying to convince his girlfriend to experiment sexually with him."
"She wasn't into it, was afraid it would hurt."
"So the guy says 'if I show you on myself, will you do it?'".
"She reluctantly said yes."
"So the guy lubes up a thin aluminum flashlight, 2 cm thick, 15 cm long, bends over and jams it up where the sun don't shine"
"So they put him on a stretcher and the driver says into the radio 'ambulance 98 returning, 28 year-old male with severe constipation and foreign object in his rectum'."
"'Uhm... it's a flashlight, in case it matters'."
"'So, uhm... Yup, you heard that right: we're bringin' you a firefly, stand by'."- Corvus_Manufakturaflashlight GIFGiphy
Don't Pick Him Up And Shake Him!
"My Mom worked in the OR and said there were soo many guys who ended up there because of things they 'slipped and fell' on."
"The craziest one for her was the guy who 'slipped and fell" on a snow globe'."- craponapoopstick
He'll Follow You Until The Afterlife Fades Away
"I got admitted to the ED after a heavy leather bound photo album fell off the top of a free standing wardrobe during sex and hit me on the head."
"I ended up with 12 stitches and a multi layer closure and luckily missed out on a skull fracture."
"The album in question? The woman’s wedding day with her dead husband."
"We joked later that it was his ghost disapproving of our random horny moments."- W2ttsy
Wait For The Twist Ending...
"Girl came in saying she had a lump in her vagina."
"Very worried about it."
"Examination revealed nil abnormalities."
"On further questioning her new boyfriend said he felt it during sex'."
"It was her cervix."- craycraxy
A visit to the ER shouldn't be a laughing matter.
Unless it's the only possible treatment for the scenario.
I've got a burning desire... or I'm just burning...
"Last night a guy came in with a fever."
"CORRECTION: His PENIS had a fever."
"Yeah, you read that right, his Penis, only, was warmer than usual, and it freaked him out."- Dont-Lick-the-CatGiphy
She's a woman now
"I’m not an ER nurse, but my dad used to be and I’ll always remember this story."
"This mom brings her 13 year old daughter in and swears up and down that her daughter was bit by a bug and has a nasty infection."
"She says the daughter was bit by mosquitoes while they were outside, and her chest was swelling abnormally because of it."
"So they do some kind of physical exam, and my dad had to explain that the daughter wasn’t bit by mosquitoes, she just hit puberty and was developing breasts."- katelikesmilk
What are you trying to hide?
"One I was working at the ER a young guy 18-19 years old, who was at a party, came piss drunk and unconcious."
"In order to get a urine tox screening we decided to take a urine sample through a catheter."
"When the nurse pulled down his pants we discovered that he had put a thick white sports sock in his underwear."
"After the test was taken we decided to put the sock back where we found it so he wouldn’t die of shame when he woke up!"- alexfrommalmoe
"I've decided that if I ever have a sex-toy-related injury that requires medical care, I'm just going to own it."
"In fact I'll go one better."
" if I have an innocuous boring injury that sends me to the ER, I'm going to claim it was an athletic sex injury instead."-triggur
The Lengths some people will go to
"I don’t work in the ER, but did my preceptorship in the ER my final semester of nursing school."
"Had a lady come in via EMS because her partner 'threw a red solo cup at my back and I’m having terrible pain now!'"
"It was the most dramatic show I’ve ever witnessed watching that poor EMS crew roll her into a tiny room as she’s flailing and fake-sobbing."
"ER doctor looked at me, the student, and said 'take her this script for Ibuprofen'."
"He spent maybe 2 minutes in her room."
"I took the script in, gave her the discharge paperwork, and she threw it in my face and told me to 'get f*cked'.”
"No joke, she came back 2 hours later, walked into the ER herself, with a bloody towel wrapped around her hand."
"She told me to hold out my hand."
"I already had gloves on."
" She placed her thumb in my hand and said 'can I get some pain medicine now?'"
"'Calm as could be and very manipulative-like."
"This lady legit went home and cut her thumb off to get pain meds."
"She didn’t get any pain meds, she got an immediate air lift to a major hospital to have emergency hand surgery."-deadheadramblinrose
Read the instructions carefully
"Directly from a family member who’s an ICU rn."
"Patient was brought in to the ER after making a homemade dart gun with a needle and straw but blowing IN, instead of out."
"He swallowed both."
"Thought he could just poop out both but ended up with massive GI bleeds and losing most of his blood."
"Needed surgery and a ton of blood product transfusions."- Responsible_Rent7970
It goes both ways
"I don't work there, but I personally went to ER and asked them to fake a report for me so I can skip a test I had the following day."
"They agreed."- MarwanMero
Maybe we rely a but too much on technology
"A woman came into the ED recently because she couldn't find her pulse on her apple watch so she was worried that her pulse was gone."
""The doctor taught her how to find her pulse via jugular and sent her home."
"lmao."apple watch connecting GIFGiphy
You don't outgrow fun... or do you?
"Friend of mine in college thought it would be fun to swing in one of those rubber tire bucket like baby swings in the park."
"So she managed to put her feet through the leg holes and climb in."
"Only to get completely stuck in the swing."
"Her circulation was getting cut off by the swing and her legs were swelling like crazy."
"We tried to pull her out but no luck."
"We had to call 911."
"She ended up going to the ER with the swing still on her to get cut out of it."- RainbowUnicorn0228·
Maybe ease up on the self gratification.
"I volunteered at a hospital in HS, and my only time in the ER, a gentleman came in complaining of severe pain in his groin area."
"Come to learn he was a chronic masterbater, and had rubbed considerable patches of skin OFF."
"Not only that, you could hear him yelp randomly, and it was because he was doing it then too!"- notnotasock
As always, all of the salutes and respect to the people we pay to heal us. The things they have to outright not laugh in our faces for must be a mountain impossibly high.
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One of the hardest things to do in life is to stick to a budget. No matter how well you plan and how determined you are, you always seem to overspend a little.
Usually, this is a result of certain items being overpriced. Between run-of-the-mill inflation and shortage of goods, and the addition of pandemic-related inflation and shortage of goods, several items have been marked up.
In addition to goods, events and services are costing more as well.
The worst part is a lot of the stuff that is overpriced are actually items that people can't stop buying. People can't stop overspending if they aren't able to stop buying.
Curious about what overpriced items people keep buying, Redditor Sxzym asked:
"What's something that's way too overpriced, but people still keep buying?"
An Awful Business That's Always Needed
"Just throw me in the trash."
"I’m thinking about starting a business as a funeral planner. I know it sounds like a stand up bit, but I’m serious."
"It’s not like the average person understands the business, the rules and regulations, and the prices."
"So essentially, you’re making thousands of dollars worth of decisions while you’re an emotional wreck. Plus everyone is trying to squeeze extra money out of you by gaslighting you into thinking you’re a cheapskate that doesn’t care about your dead loved one."
"I go in not knowing the family nor the deceased and I certainly don’t give two sh*ts if a funeral director thinks I’m being cheap."
"The only thing that sucks is I would have to get paid too, so that would kind of ruin the whole point. So part of me just wants to volunteer my efforts."
"I just really hate when people get bent over and put in debt after losing someone. It’s so disgusting."
– Deleted User
"This one hits home. Everytime my mother buys a pack of ciggies and bitches about the rising costs but absolutely refuses to try the MUCH cheaper alternative which is vaping, the same device she seen me quit cigs on lol."
"I feel this lol"
"I’ve had issues with other addictions in the past and managed to kick the bad ones but haven’t been able to quit smoking."
"At 2 packs a day with the price being between 6-8$, that we will call 7 is about 5k a year and I’m about a decade into this so I’ve depend around 50k on cigarettes in my life."
"Fast food. Gone are the days of the dollar menu"
"F*ckin fast food man, McD’s is expensive as sh*t now a days."
"Fast food. I see lines of cars in just about every joint I drive past. Spending who knows how much money on one meal that has no nutrients. I spend the same amount on food that will provide me three meals, with nutrients that will help me through my week."
"Insulin. It's like they need it to live or something. Lol."
"Inhalers too. So ridiculous it's not like I'm choosing to not breathe"
"Not to start a phone war, but i myself think that Apple products in general are way too expensive."
"I might be wrong on this but it seems like every time they come out with a new iPhone all they add is a bit more battery life and a few better camera features when they’ve already had an excellent camera since iPhone X and 11 because that was the whole gimmick of those devices but they keep adding more camera stuff and then slap on a hundred more to the price."
The Essentials Of Eating
"Grubhub/Uber eats/door dash, etc"
"And when you have small children at home, thus making you unable or unwilling (depending on the circumstance) to just run out and pick up the food yourself, you wind up using then FAR more often than you should."
The Completely Necessary
"Insurance I mean, it's necessary, but still..."
"Women's hygiene products."
"It should be dirt cheap, if not free."
"Water. Should never have to pay for it."
"Bottled water - obviously only where safe, clean drinking water is available from the tap."
"Our tap water at our apartment tastes like dirt so we usually get a 24 pack and go through it in about 2 weeks. We always get the store brand, though. Never name brand."
Fulfilling The Food Groups
"pre-sliced fruits and veggies at the store. The markup is insane on those things lol"
"In Tennessee a whole watermelon is $4.99. Also, 1/4 of a watermelon is $4.99."
"I hate myself a little every time I buy pre chopped veggies but damn it if they aren't worth it when my arthritis flares."
Learn A Lot
"College education after associates."
"University or college education"
"The American Dream."
Ouch. That's a harsh reality!
There are so many life lessons we learn way too late.
One of the biggest is that life itself is not as difficult as we chose to make it.
Humans always seem to take the long road.
Maybe that's just life.
Maybe it's meant to be arduous until we learn to think smarter not harder.
Redditor rectangularbearwanted to have a chat about the aspects of life we all wish we could've experienced a little easier.
"What's a life lesson you learned the hard way?"
I have nothing to add. I only know how to make anything and everything hard.
Slow DownIn Love Thank You GIF by La Guarimba Film FestivalGiphy
"Don't fall too fast for someone."
"That's why it's called falling."
"High expectations are prone to leading to disappointment. This applies to all things, but personally, I find that it applies to people the most."
"I messed up with this big time. Talked me ex fiancé up like she was an angel straight for heaven. Turned out to be the Devil wearing Prada. Had to walk into church by myself looking straight busted when everyone found out my 'angel' dumped me."
"Go to the dentist. Teeth don't heal, they only get worse."
"I know a guy who can’t understand why he can’t get a girlfriend. All of his teeth are rotted and discolored except one. Idk about anyone else, but to me that’s worse than just having no teeth at all. Idk if he realizes how much worse bad teeth can make you look."
"Just because someone is family doesn't mean they will not screw you over."
"I too am among some of the many who have learned this the hard way. Foolish me experienced this time and time again before I finally realized that I have friends who have made better family than any of the blood related members of my life."
"I really hate the 'Family is everything' mentality some people espouse, as if the accident of blood relation excuses or entitles someone to abusive, manipulative behavior."
Single is HappyJimmy Fallon Television GIFGiphy
"Don’t settle, and if you get the vibe someone is settling for you, end it. Loneliness isn’t half as bad when compared to heartbreak."
"Regretting that single Tinder swipe after dating a paranoid for 11 months now, scared as hell for what could go wrong if I dump her."
Love is one of the most difficult things ever. Why so?
Seriously?!Will Smith Prison GIF by mtvGiphy
"That when my Uncle says 'I won't bail you out of jail' what he actually means is 'I won't bail you out of jail.' Who'd have thought."
You got You!
"Nobody is gonna watch out for you, like you."
"I saw something the other day written by another foster parent that said 'I became the kind of person I wish would've saved me when I was a kid.' Punched me right in the feels because it's absolutely true, for me anyway."
"Don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm."
"Woah. This is all I've needed. I will never be the same. I will never think the same. I swear my life will only get better from here on. Such a simple sentence. Didn't think a reddit comment had the capacity to change my life so much. Obviously you haven't invented the phrase, but thank you for your comment."
"Don't give up on something without even trying. Even if you are convinced you will fail. In life, no one will do it for you, you have to do it yourself."
"Yes. And don’t gauge your potential on your self-confidence. Even if you feel there’s no way you can do something, and even if you fail miserably on your first try, keep trying. You’d be amazed at how many people who got good at something but started out as the worst at it."
Say ByeBye Bye Peace GIF by Cappa Video ProductionsGiphy
"Trust your gut when friends do bad things. It’s ok to leave relationships."
Life doesn't have to be so hard. Why do we make it so?
Some people are daredevils, and laugh in the face of danger.
As a result, they'll willingly partake in dangerous activities like bungee jumping and skydiving, or will go scuba diving with sharks without a second thought.
Others though, proceed through life with extreme caution, and wouldn't be caught dead partaking in any of the above.
However, these same people might not realize that they might have once put themselves in extreme danger without even realizing it.
As some things which appear to be completely harmless and risk free, might actually be far more dangerous than they might seem.
Redditorcltdawg08 was curious to learn what things are deceptively dangerous, leading them to ask:
"What is a lot more dangerous than most people think?"
No harm in hitting the snooze button, right?
"Playing the 'well, my alarm turned off, but I just wanna rest my eyes for a bit' game."- IIITysonIII
Don't be fooled by their "chinny, chin, chins"...
"They look slow and fat."
"Saw a guy nearly get killed by a pig."- theycallmelilsnowy
Always try to get those 40 winks...
"It slowly kills over time."- CyndaWott
Don't underestimate the importance of a helmet.
"Being knocked out."
"In movies, the hero hits someone on the head, or the hero is hit on the head, and they're out for hours."
"In reality, if you are knocked unconscious for more than a few seconds, you'll be inundated with traumatic brain injuries."
"Even a mild brain injuries can drastically change a person's personality, if it doesn't kill them, which is a real possibility."
"TL;DR: Don't get knocked out, and if you do, see a neurologist."
"I speak as someone who has had over 10 concussions."- canucksquatch
Bug spray is your friend.
"Mosquitoes."- Particular_Tadpole27bart simpson mosquitoes GIFGiphy
Consider calling a professional...
"Garage door springs."- Cvrk2·
Especially without proper supervision
"I started one like 2 weeks ago and quit after the first week."
"A mistake in a metal fabrication shop could easily cost you your life or serious injury."
"Not for the clumsy type like myself."- StoneySphynx
ALWAYS get a second opinion...
"Reddit advice."- Pro_Banana
Get your body moving!
"Sitting for long periods of time."- Accurate-Bread-7574Kitten Stretching GIFGiphy
Talk to a doctor first.
"Using OTC meds."
"There is a very good reason why these drugs emphasize to not use more than _____ days consecutively without a Doctors orders."
"Some of these drugs can very easily cause long-term damage under the right circumstances, even if you never exceed the daily dose limits."
"I'm a good example."
"I used Aspirin long-term near max dose on a regular basis."
"I'm now in stage 3 kidney failure."
"Don't self-medicate, seek guidance."
"At the least, talk to the pharmacist."
"They offer FREE advice and consultation about all medications, both OTC and Rx, whether your on it presently or looking to ask your Dr about it."- SpacemaniaXu
Don't let appearances deceive you, and always proceed with caution.
A wise and safe way to go through life, even if you prefer to live dangerously.
And particularly before you pet that pig...
Parenting is an arduous, often thankless job.
If it's not something you ever really wanted, or even if it is, you have to be careful.
Toxic parents create toxic people.
And that is born from a lot of unresolved trauma.
RedditorGemJoltik34wanted to spread the word on the ways we can recognize toxic parenting.
"What is a sign of toxic parenting?"
I know I wasn't built for parenting. That's ok. It's just not for me.
Know it AllKnowing Cedric The Entertainer GIF by CBSGiphy
"Always believing they're right because they're the adult and therefore not letting the child have any say."
"If you feel like you can't be open and honest with them, even over things that are not bad."
"I can’t remember the last time I was deeply honest about my feelings or things I was struggling with. Somehow they always either 1. find a way to use it against me or 2. they find a way to blame it on things that are unrelated when in the end, it’s usually their crappy way of parenting."
"This is mainly about my mom. But in my dads case, he is emotionally cut off. He doesn’t express himself like ever. My mom is the complete opposite."
"Being unable to apologize, setting and enforcing standards they themselves don't follow."
"When I tell my parents about something I feel like they should apologize my dad listens to me, if he disagrees with what I said he tells me why and if he thinks that my reasoning is correct he says 'you're right, I'm sorry,' my mom yells at me, cries, 'you're talking back, I would've never done that to my mother.' Guess who I have a better relationship with."
"When they constantly invalidate your feelings."
"This one in a huge way… my feelings were never validated. Every time I cried it was 'stop the crocodile tears, you’re just looking for attention.' Every time I was mad 'you don’t have real reasons to be upset.' Hell, even when I was physically hurt it’d usually be something like 'rub some dirt on it.'"
Lessonsfrank costanza seinfeld GIF by HULUGiphy
"Never actually teaching your kids anything, just criticizing, 'I told you so' and 'because I said so.'"
"This was my life just about every day until I moved out. My parents expected me to know things and got pissed when I did something wrong."
People should be required to take parenting classes. Seriously...
Mental SpaceDoctor Help GIF by Apple TV+Giphy
"Parents not understanding kids have bad days too. They may not have a bad day like an adult would, but to their little minds they can get just as overwhelmed as we can mentally."
"Not being allowed to make mistakes and constantly being shouted at for them."
"My significant other has legit PTSD from not meeting his parents standards and being yelled at and screamed for it. Apparently if he didn't clean to their standards they would trash the room and make him start all over again instead of just getting the parts he missed."
I Feel It
"Treating kids like they aren't supposed to have emotions."
"Damn... felt this one. My mom was this way and reacted with anger anytime I tried to talk to her about my feelings, whether it be something she did to me that traumatized me or just something that upset me during the day."
"Then had an ex who did the exact same thing (not relevant to parenting but yeah). So the treatment I received from my mom and ex made me put up a wall around my emotions. Completely ruined my recent marriage. Just hope my son always knows he can talk about his feelings around me."
"The 'I guess I’m just a bad parent' line."
"Or 'Well, I wasn't perfect,' or 'I don't think I ever claimed to be perfect,' or 'I know I was not a perfect parent,' always with the implication that the only reason their offspring have a problem with them is due to their expectations of perfection, and therefore, the problem is with the child and their unrealistic expectations."
Just say it!Sorry Pop Tv GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy
"Never apologizing. Own up to your mistakes!"
"Seriously. Like my mom will give a somewhat apology, it'll be along the lines of 'I was in the right, but maybe I shouldn't have blown up and overreacted like I did.' Like sometimes she's right with that but other times she's just trying to only take partial blame."
Some parents cause far more damage than happiness. And we have proof... It's not a decision to be taken lightly.