We love our parents most of the time, hate them some of the time, but chances are we're embarrassed by them 24/7. As much as we don't like to admit, they seem to know us better than we know ourselves when it comes to pushing our buttons, and they do it to maximum effect. Sometimes they do it unintentionally, blissfully unaware of their own un-coolness. Other times, why does it seem like they take gleeful delight in shaming us in front of our friends, families, and crushes? Ugh, It's just pure evil.
Redditor u/LuanGaff asks:
Ugh, She Did This On Purpose!
Had my first boyfriend in middle school and brought him home one time. At one point my mom made him bring me my clean laundry. And by that I mean a single pair of pink High School Musical underwear. I cried from embarrassment but he was actually pretty cool about it and comforted me. Then he cheated on me.
Damnit i was gonna say that! lol
Helicopter Parenting At Its Worst
When I was a senior in college I was working a part-time job. They offered to make my current position full-time once I graduated. Before I got a chance to respond my father found out and contacted my supervisor expressing concerns about the offer and the fact I was still in college. How my father found out still boggles my mind but when my supervisor told me that my dad called him was probably the most embarrassing thing either of my parents have done.
Edit: I spoke to my parents a few months after it happened and the only thing they considered wrong with the situation was that my supervisor told me my dad called.
Another story for your entertainment. When I was in seventh grade and went to a youth conference with my church. All students got a free t-shirt and people were signing each other's name on them. This one girl signed mine dotted the I with a heart and left her number. Well I get home my mom is doing my laundry and finds said number. Yup you guessed it, my mother called the number and told the girl I needed to focus on education and didn't have time for girls.
Every Phone Call Ever
For those who didn't grow up in a time where you shared a phone - with multiple extensions - with your parents, consider yourselves lucky.
For those who did...
Me: Hi it's Kayge, I was wondering if you were going to go to the mall tomorrow.
Girl I liked: Ummm, yea, I think so. It's Saturday, so I usually go with my friends.
Me: Well, if you're there, do you want to, y'know, meet somewhere and have lunch.
Girl I liked: Ummm, yea, that sounds good where do you want to go.
Me: Well I was thinking...
Me: (Yelling upstairs) MOM, I'm on the phone!
Mom: (Through the phone) Kayge, are you on the phone? I was calling my friend Riva. She's having some people over tomorrow and I wanted to know if she wanted any Potato salad.
Me: (Yelling upstairs) MOM, I'm on the phone with (Girl I Liked), GET OFF!
**Mom: If you want, I can make a little extra so you can take it to Judo. I know how you get tired after class. Oooh, I hope I get to go this week, you look so handsome in your Judo outfit.
Me: Sorry, my mom can be soooooo embarrassing.
Mom: I don't think she's there anymore, honey.
After I submitted a job application to a manager when I was 16, my mother barged up and started going on and on about how I was really shy and not much of a people person.
Yeah, that's what a manager wants to hear about an applicant for customer service.
What the f*ck was she planning on doing?? i don't see how anyone could think that was a good idea at ALL.
Ouch, That's Got To Hurt
My dad, influenced partly by Bad Boys 2, decided to mess with my boyfriend on my first date by acting like a hard-@ss. He filled a whiskey bottle with tea, and when he answered the door he chugged the whole thing while staring my boyfriend down, then tried to break the bottle over his own head. The date was canceled due to the hospital trip, and I became known as the girl with the batshit insane father. "Don't concuss yourself this time" became the running joke once I was able to get a date again.
Trick Or Tramp
When I was 8 (yes, 8 years old) I was OBSESSED with the new Charlie's Angels movie with Cameron Diaz, Lucy Lu, and Drew Barrymore.
There's a scene in the movie where Drew is dressed in a patriotic jumpsuit at Nascar racetrack and I really wanted to have that outfit for my Halloween costume. My mom is a costumer and, God bless her, made my costume from scratch to resemble Drew's jumpsuit.
Well, as you can probably imagine, an 8 year old girl does not have the cleavage to fill that jumpsuit out. So my mother decided to add MASSIVE fake tits to this costume. I was mortified and for some reason she would not take them out. So for Halloween that year, I had my arms crossed all of trick or treating. I still look back at the pictures from that year with deep anxiety.
Edit: adding sh*t quality pic of shame.
This Should Remain Private, Period.
My mom told everyone (20-30) people I got my period.
My mother did this too. Called everyone she knew. Smh.
Mine did the same thing...knowing I was a very private person. Like it wasn't bad enough I had to share a room with a younger sister opposite in personality, but to go and tell people that? Still angry with her about it 20+ years later.
Quiet The Scene-Stealer
My mom went through this phase where she would talk during movies, specifically about what's going on in the movie. She was also terrible at paying attention to what was going on so often times what she was explaining was incorrect.
In addition, she would try to talk over the movie. Mom would occasionally have to yell to make sure she was heard over the action scenes.
Imagine, if you will, watching the aftermath of the stampede scene from the Lion King and the person next to you yelling "SIMBA IS SAD BECAUSE HER DAD DIED."
Haunted For Life
My 350 pound mother streaked in front of my boyfriend and my friends for 100 bucks. I was only 16, and that image still haunts me.
The Call That Killed A Career
She googles my boss's phone number, called him in his office, asked him to put me on the phone. In his office. I was in a meeting with a client, I didn't answer her call on my cellphone, in the middle of a work day.
She wanted to b*tch about my step-father, and wanted to talk now. No emergency or anything. She just wanted to talk and gave zero sh*t about the consequence of her actions, as per f*cking usual.
And that's the day my boss and pretty much the entire company lost respect for me. When the mom of their coworkers called him on his boss's office, to talk about personal sh!t.
A few months later, I resigned. There was nowhere to go in that place anymore...
What A Pain In The Flash
When I was 10 or so, I was struggling with being too big for kids' clothes and too skinny for most juniors' clothes. I was trying on this dress with a mesh area around the neck in the department store dressing room, and it was so big on me that my nipples literally showed through the mesh part that was supposed to be around my collarbones. Kids that age are moody, so I just lost it in frustration and started crying. My mom was like "Oh, just let me see" but I didn't want her to see because that meant showing the whole fitting area my nipples. Finally I showed her and when she saw how upset I was, instead of comforting me, she decided to mimic me, fake-cry in my voice saying "OH MY GOD EVERYONE CAN SEE MY NIPPLES" and flash everyone in the dressing room.
Your mom flashed everyone?
Yes. It was horrible. She was wearing a beige see-through bra that was actually the same color as the mesh yoke, so it was very on point tbh.
When Reality Is A Nightmare
When I was young we had a pajama day at school but I always just wore my boxers to sleep. Well obviously a kid can't show up to school in just underwear but I was too little/dumb to understand that. Why my mom allowed me to go and even drove me there, I have no idea. It was the most embarrassing day of my life, and the school had to call my parents to come pick me up halfway through the day
Edit to answer some questions: I was in elementary school, but I can't remember if it was 1st or 2nd grade. And the school didn't notice or care until halfway because I was eating lunch in the cafeteria and kids were staring at me, some adult must have noticed then.
I'm so sorry you went through that, I've had actual nightmares of going to school in my underwear, that's so f*cked up...
Worst Thanksgiving Ever
Tell everybody at Thanksgiving dinner at her boyfriend's house about my tween bout with anorexia. I didn't want to be there in the first place, and she just kept going on and on about how I had carrots for dinner for a year until I had to shout at her to stop.
What was the aftermath if you shouting at her?
To her credit, she was immediately embarrassed when she realized what she was doing, and apologized profusely.
At least you had the nerve to shout at her. Good on ya.
Careful The Things You Say, Children Will Listen
My father was a huge racist and used pejorative terms to describe other people.
I knew about the bad words for African Americans, Chinese people, and Japanese people so I never said them. Little me didn't know about the other words.
I used one in class to answer a question my history teacher asked and he was properly horrified. I was immediately removed from class and my confused self was grilled for hours about my word usage. I finally said I don't know what I did wrong, my dad says it all of the time to describe people from that country. They called my mom, I had to go home.
There was a shouting match between my parents and my dads mother that night and I was beaten soundly by my father.
Edit: JFC, fine. The word was "hadji". Also, I learned that it might not be as bad as I was lead to believe. Always learning something new on Reddit! Thanks y'all!
I had C cup boobs when I was eleven years old.
My mom loved to LOUDLY talk about them to anyone who would listen. "Yeah, she's only eleven! You wouldn't think from the way she's filled out up top! Hehehehururhurhurhur."
Then I'd start crying from the humiliation and she'd tell me to "lighten up."
That is sooooo not right. I developed early too, and it's bad enough when you're the only girl in class with boobs without someone pointing it out. I can't even imagine going through that.
I'm 5'11" and a f*cking Amazon. I had my period at 10, D cups at 11 and I was always the tallest girl. I was made fun of a lot though in Middle school. I do not speak to my father anymore for other various reasons but the mentality that sh*t does for a kid is f*cked up.
Scarred For Life
My mum pulled up my skirt, causing me to involuntarily flash a room full of people, at a Christmas dinner. I was absolutely mortified. She wanted to check for self harm scars on my thighs, apparently. I've never self harmed before. She should not be allowed to consume alcohol.
Edit, to answer the FAQs in the replies: I was 18, and I was wearing underwear.
When I was 5 or so my pre-k did a play based on Noah's ark (it was a pre-k attached to a church).
We were instructed that our costume was supposed to be rain coats/rain boots/umbrellas. I didn't have any of those things but begged my Dad to get me at least one of them so I'd fit in and follow the guidelines.
Fast-forward: the night of the play. I'm frantically scanning the audience because my Dad is ALWAYS late.
He finally shows up and brings me: a life jacket. I had to stand up there with all the kids in their little raincoats in a life jacket. I was really embarrassed. Dad's defense was that I was the only kid who would have survived the flood. 😂
I can laugh now but I sure wasn't laughing then.
I was 10 years old and and my 2 best friends (girl and boy) were sleeping over that night and my dad, the oversharer that he is, proceeds to tell my friends the story on how I was conceived in the back of a car on a cold night somewhere. I was so mortified and my friends were just as uncomfortable as I was and we collectively agreed to ignore the whole ideal. Also he brought the cake out to the lounge wearing only his undies and a bow tie. It was a rough night.
Everybody Saw. Everybody Heard.
My mother insisted on seeing exactly what I bought for clothes to make sure they weren't too baggy until I went away to college. When I was 17, we were buying jeans at the Gap, and when I wouldn't basically do a fashion show for her for every pair of pants I tried on, she crawled her 58-year-old self under the door of the dressing room where I was trying them on. I'm a guy, and the dressing room had a line out the door. Everybody saw. Everybody heard.
EDIT: Also, "All of your jeans are in the laundry. Just wear a pair of mine!"
EDIT2: "Your waist is two inches above your belly button, not halfway between your belly button and your penis."
Oh hi there, seems like we have the same mother.
Mom, Get Out Of My Hair!
I came home from school with head lice. Instead of telling the teacher, who would send a letter home to everyone without specifically naming which child they noticed had lice, my mother rang every person in my class that she had the phone number of. She would have a chat with the parent all "yeah she has head lice so you need to check your kid". I probably got it from someone in my class and the whole class likely already had lice but kids don't realize that so the whole class were calling my dirty and saying I infected them. It was horrible. I was hysterically crying while she called people
Edit: didn't expect this to get noticed so to address the concerns. She never did anything bad ever in my life except this, she kept saying "don't be stupid I'm just telling their mothers so they can sort it" and presumably didn't expect them to tell their 7 or 8 year olds who it was. Clearly someone did because the whole class knew it was me by the next day. Seems there's a lot of comments below with similar stories of adults just having no clue about how oddly shameful it is to have lice when you're little which sucks. But kids will jump on anything to be mean sometimes.
Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.
All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?
Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:
What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
I am claustrophobic. It paralyzes my life. I can't ride elevators. I freak out at amusement parks. And don't get me started on trains in New York that get stuck in the tunnel. Why am I like this?
"I was about 7 or 8 when I heard some noise coming from the garage. My mom was at work and I was being babysat by one of my uncles. I went to open the garage to find my other uncle strangling his girlfriend up against the car. She had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I just froze and stood there staring and my uncle didn't even notice and continued choking and strangling her."
"My other uncle came to the door where I was standing saw what was happening and grabbed me. He called my mom and then the police who later came and arrested my uncle. There's more to this story I wasn't privy to at such a young age. But yeah my other uncle is crazy. He's been to jail a few times, has anger and control issues."
"Going to another person's house and realizing that living in filth and decay and having breathing problems isn't the norm. Having dinner every night and a clean room was just a regular day in their household. Grass is always greener right? Especially when yours is dead and everyone from school thinks your house is haunted. Smh good riddance."
"Watching my grandpa slowly waste away on our living room couch. He had a paraganglioma on his pancreas, and there was nothing (especially in 1980) that could be done for him. I was four, and he was my favorite person, and I couldn't sit with him, or hug him, or anything. I miss him even after 40 years. Either that or my best friend dying over Christmas break in 1988. I miss her too. I pretty much hated everything after that."
"I saw my Dad get swept away and drowned when I was 11. It's really something I've never recovered from. It's been 16 years and not a day goes by I don't remember it. I live with it. I think we have to for those who we've lost. I always kind of imagine it as a sort of like an emotional loss of a limb. I haven't lost a limb, but I imagine you adapt to not having it. You learn. But you never forget you are missing an arm or a leg."
It's taken me years to confront my struggle. Finally a little while ago, I tried hypnotherapy and I was able to recover a childhood memory that manifested into my phobia. I was trapped in handcuffs as a joke by my babysitter's brother. Six hours.
"The older I got through my teens, the more my step-father's alcoholism spiralled out of control, and the more I was biding my time until I was 18 and would head off to college. Education was my only escape in my mind. Every instance of physical and emotional abuse had to be met with, "just shut up and take it, it'll be over someday." Really wish I could give that kid who slept on the floor of a three-bedroom trailer a hug and say that he'd make it out and get a master's degree. I feel like I just won a decade-long war."
"I had a dog that I absolutely loved. I begged for this dog in a Walmart parking lot a week before my 3rd birthday, my mom said I could have the dog but that meant no birthday presents or cake just the dog (she lied, I got presents, cake, and dog.) This dog went everywhere with me and did everything with me. Despite being a tiny mutt he would do his best to protect me from our Doberman who did not like me."
"In fairness to the doberman, as a 2 yr old I did stomp on his nuts for some unbeknownst reason so no hard feelings on not liking me. When I was 5 my mom became a truck driver so we moved in with my grandparents on their farm. While I was at school one day Bouncy had gotten into the fence with the donkeys and was kicked in the head."
"When I got off the bus I couldn't figure out why he wasn't waiting on me. My grandparents met me outside and told me what happened, then walked me in to where he was. He died 30 minutes after I got home like he was waiting to see me. I haven't been able to bond with a pet since."
"I saw our neighbor's collie killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood. As a young boy, it had real impact because I loved her, and it hurt when he stuck his head out the driver's door window, grinned, and just sped off - leaving the dog dead in the road and me - a kid - in tears. As I once commented, how anyone could be so callous and cruel was beyond my imagination."
"I actually don't remember the event much, but when I was really young (~6years old) I was playing outside and I heard a woman screaming. I was curious so I went across the street to see a bunch of smoke coming out of the cracks in the front door. Didn't see any flames initially so I didn't put two and two together right away. My Dad saw me across the street in the driveway just staring at the house and when he investigated what I was doing he realized the house was on fire. Whole house burnt down."
"Older woman fell asleep on her couch with a lit cigarette. I was traumatized by fire as a kid and I was petrified about burning alive in my sleep for quite some time. Dad had to install a fire escape ladder in my room, fire extinguishers, etc. I was obsessed with what to do in case of fires as a kid. No longer an issue, but my parents still tell me stories about how they knew that messed me up."
"I was 12 and sat down at the edge of a sidewalk to pet a cat crossing the road. I lived on a very quiet, but wide street. Even if a car drove by, there would've been a lot of room, as I was in an area reserved for parallel parking. (No cars were parked though). All of a sudden a big red car sped up and swerved to hit the cat. It missed me by inches, and instantly killed the cat. It was decades ago, and I still think about it often."
"Oh, hands down, my mother alcoholism. It really messes you up in ways that you cannot imagine. And you don't even realize that until years after. I still can't drink alcohol because of it, it terrifies me to even entertain the possibility to become something close to her."
I survived. But, I'm still haunted. I think I always will be. But I have learned to manage. We all struggle with the past. We were too young to process. But now we have to try. You're not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.
And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.
Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.
The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...
Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:
Why are you single?
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy
"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
The Appeal...So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
ConnectionsDont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
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Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.
Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.
If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.
Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:
"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"
Let's learn from the masters!
What a common mistake!
"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."
"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."
"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."
"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."
"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."
"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."
"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."
Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.
"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."
"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"
You can't take back what you've already put in.
"You can always add, but you cannot take away."
"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."
"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."
"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."
"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."
"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"
"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."
"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."
How else will you know it tastes good?
"Taste the food."
"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."
"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."
Here's one just for laughs.
"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."
"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."
If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.
Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!
If all else fails, you can always order take out.
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As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.
One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.
Fast forward to our grocery store trip with our mother, my younger sister, and myself. Sister was having a fit over wanting one of those cheap plastic toy packs they hang in some of the aisles. Mom said no.
Cue the scream, my little blonde sister lets out a wail and starts yelling for the entire store to hear "Stop it! You aren't my mom! You aren't my mommy! No!" My mom tried to grab her hand and tell her to stop but then realized that in doing so it made the scene look worse.
It was such a mix of mortification and humor that I just stood there. Little sister stopped after a few minutes, pretty sure she got her prized toy just to shut up. Now that I'm older it's a wonder the police didn't come.
Redditor Granted01 wanted to hear the most embarrassing childhood moments the internet had to offer and asked the subreddit:
“What inappropriate thing did you do as a child that you didn't realise was inappropriate?"
The answers make us want to crawl into a hole for them.
“My parents used to keep mini bottles of liquor in the fridge (the ones you'd find in hotel mini bar). We had to make our own lunches at times when mom and dad were busy with work and my first-grade self decided to empty the bottles into the sink and put juice in them to bring to school… my parents got a call that day from school lol." wander-lux
On my--well, him...
“Not me but my daughter. We live in a place where we don't see many people of different ethnicities but one day she saw a Muslim man with a beard dressed in the long white outfit, and she was convinced he was God."
“No idea why but she wouldn't leave the dude alone (she was 4) and started reeling off a Christmas list.. turns out Santa and God were mixed up too. Thankfully he found it funny." ApricotSuperb7196
“Not me, but my sister used to lap her drinks up like a dog. Turns out she was calling this "doggy style". One time they forgot to bring her a straw at the restaurant we were in and she loudly screamed "guess I'll do it doggy style". I think she was 7 or 8 at the time." knotsy-
Not what they’re called…
“I used to call those pigeons with the pointy tuft on their heads ‘horny birds’. I would yell it out so loudly too -.- my mum told me she had to look away every time I did it because it made her laugh until she cried. Obviously I wasnt told until later because I was only 5 at the time.” Artherwritethiss
Anything but that *gag*
“I used to play with this cup in the bath and drink water out of it for years, did it in the shower too as i got older, it had a handle on the end of it and I never knew why. One day I witnessed my mother use this cup in the toilet violently, and that was the moment I realized what a plunger was."
“It scared me I was about 10 when I realized what I had been using as a toy. I would fill it up with water in the bath or shower and play with it, and sip the water out of it, etc as kids do with toys I guess. Probably never forget that." That-nz-guyChannel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy
“riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town…”
“I was a serious nudist as a child. My parents could never keep me in my clothes. My older sister would have her friends over who I had a crush on and I'd run outside butt naked to see them. There's a story that I still get teased about to this day of when my neighbor called my mom at work to tell her I was riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town completely nude.” jdbuck99
“I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard…”
“I grew up on Looney Tunes & would call people who were mean to me stinkers or dirty bastards. I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard cause he started teasing me. I had my mom dying.” Kuriosity93
“my mum made me forge her papers…”
“When I was like 12 my mom was on probation and had to do community service. (Still no idea why) I had pretty good cursive handwriting at the time and my mum made me forge her papers and sign her p.o's name saying she was doing her service. Good times. Thanks for the memories mum.” osum_o_posum
Why didn’t they say anything!?
“When I was in 5th grade we made a calendar to take home. We each had our picture taken and glued to cover and were allowed to decorate it and each of the following months however we chose."
“Being 10 (nearly 11) there was so much that I didn't know about the world. What made it tick and more importantly, its history. Prior to the creative masterpiece that was unfolding in class, at home, I had walked in on my dad watching a WWII documentary where they showed footage of the German regalia and, subsequently, their flags."
“Not knowing any better, I thought the 'windmill' symbol was really cool and decided it should be on the cover of this calendar. One in each corner with my photo smack dab in the middle."
“No one said anything to me about it. It went through the lamination machine and was sent home with me. I wish I could've seen my teacher's reaction while she thought one of her students had skinheads for parents..." FusedByFire
A different way to say hello…
“Right, so anyone who's seen Mr. Bean (the movie) probably remembers the scene where he waves his middle finger at people tryna say hi? I did that. To an elderly person. Need I say more.” Blackrap1d
These cringe-worthy and laughable moments are brought to you by the ignorance of childhood. We've nearly all had a moment like this growing up, some just way, way worse than others.
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