Embarrassed People Reveal The Worst Accidental Text They Ever Sent Someone
Mis-texts; we've all had it happen and it can sometimes be the stuff of nightmares.
Well, for the people involved anyway. For those of us who get to watch the shenanigans go down, it's the greatest show on earth. The circus ain't got nuthin' on this!
One Reddit user asked: What is the worst text that you accidentally sent to the wrong person?
Want to feel better about your life? At least you're not the dude who sent a picture of his booty-sweat to his Pokemon friends. Unless you are that guy, in which case, Sir we thank you for the greatest belly laugh we've ever had.
You guys ready to do this?
50. The Voice That Rocks The Cradle
GiphyWhile at school I accidentally sent a text to a friend's house phone (landline). I happened to be a passenger in the car behind him and sent a message to him (also a passenger) saying "look behind you, I'm in close pursuit". Apparently when you text landlines a creepy artificial voice attempts to read the text to the recipient when they pick up the phone. His mum on receiving the message locked all the doors and windows and called the police about a potential stalker...
49. Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride(smaid)
Not the text I sent, but one a friend sent me.
Context: Recently got engaged and was visiting my closest friends individually to deliver their "Will you be my bridesmaid?" cards. Most of them took a photo of the card and put it on social media which was fine.
An hour later I get a text from one of my bridesmaids that says, "OMG I can't believe (sheliveslight) made (friend) a bridesmaid!! She'll just sleep around with the groomsmen like she did at the last wedding she was in. EWWW. Is it too late to deny the bridesmaid offer?"
Definitely had a good laugh with my fiancé about it. The bridesmaid apologized profusely after she sent the text (she claims it was meant for her mom to see), and still asks me to not bring it up whenever we're texting or hanging out. Still made her a bridesmaid though.
48. Wrong Mom Syndrome
This might not be the worst, but it happened yesterday so i thought i'd share.
My relationship with my mom is very much about cooking and house related stuff.
My relationship with my MiL is different, a lot more business-orientated, but still good.
Yesterday I sent to my MiL, very excitedly "I've found bread that smells just like the bread you used to make!".
When i got the reply that said "OK?", i knew i sent it to the wrong mom.
I resent the message to my mom, with the mixup i made and she found it extremely amusing.
So yeah. Accidentally sent a warm fuzzy message about bread to the wrong mom.
47. I Kissed A Girl And Seriously Disliked It
I tried to send a text to my boyfriend about how exasperated I was with my boss who had offered me a ride back to the office but was late. Yeah, guess who I actually sent that text to. It was an awkward car ride.
Not sure you'd call it an accident, drunk me definitely knew what she was doing, but I also texted my boyfriend while I was black out drunk to let him know that I was black out drunk and had made out with a chick and she tasted weird and I didn't like it.
46. Oof, And Here's Where We Get Off
GiphyThe year after my husband died, I was dating a guy with whom I had shared some of the horrors of my marriage. He knew I was not a grieving widow. We usually would go out on Tuesday nights because I don't work Wednesday mornings.
On a Monday afternoon, the day before my husband's birthday, I had been texting my BF, when I received a text alert that asked if I wanted to go out Tuesday night to "celebrate."
Thinking this was my BF being funny, I texted back "you mean a bwahaha party?"
The text was from my daughter.
cringe
45. Cringetastic
Probably too late but this is probably the most cringey thing I have ever done... So a couple years ago when I was like 19 I was working in an automotive shop. During slow season I got put on piece work, so this meant that every morning my boss would text me to let me know what time he needed me to come into work that day. Well one morning I woke up to a very depressing message from my super insecure boyfriend at the time. Basically saying that he didn't think he was good enough for me and he felt like I could do better, blah blah blah.
So before I got ready for work, I typed out this extremely long mushy response basically saying all that cheesy bullshit you say when you're trying to convince a person that everything's fine and that you love them and all that stupid shit. Like I'm talking the cheesiest cheese that's ever been cheesed via text message. So I type this long sappy message and send it so I can get ready for work.... only to later find out that I had somehow accidentally sent the message to a nice old Irish gentlemen- aka my fucking boss. I was mortified.
I was relentlessly teased for weeks by the shop full of older men that I worked with. Luckily my boyfriend and I split up 2 months later when I received a nice Facebook message from his ex girlfriend. Among the messages were screenshots of messages from my boyfriend begging for another chance, telling her that he would leave me in a heartbeat for another shot with her. My coworkers stopped teasing me shortly after that haha
44. Select Your Fighter
One time in college I got this girls number and texted her a little bit. That night I had been playing Mortal Kombat with my friend before we went out.
Anyway, that same friend goes home with a girl, and the next day, with a terrible hangover, I send the text "did you engage is sexual kombat with (girls name)"
Waited a while and didn't get a response and to my horror, I see I had accidentally sent it to the girl who's number I had gotten. That was so awkward but also so hilarious.
43. But The Deodorant Tho
This actually happened.
Meant to send it to my friend "AA". His name is right next to my boss "AB" on my phone. This was the first day back from Christmas holidays and I was trying to get a jump on the new year.
Sent this to my boss instead of my friend about my recent breakup:
"In the deodorant section at meijer and so many condoms here. Guess I won't be needing those for a while"
42. Wrong Kind Of Party
i was supposed to bring something to a friend's party and texted, "should i just bring some snacky things?" but instead it auto corrected to, "should i just bring some anally things?" i noticed right away but let it ride. she did not want anal things at this particular party.
41. Booths Are Different Than They Used To Be
GiphySent my husband a text asking if he liked the booty rub...
Only I forgot I had recently messaged my son so I didn't actually send it to my husband.
Luckily autocorrect changed booty to booth. Still it was mortifying. I mean maybe a booth rub is better than a booty rub, but a rub is a rub right?
As my life flashed before my eyes I thought of some detailed explanation on how to save myself the extreme embarrassment of my mistake. I was going to say it should have said bbq rub and I was asking about it to see if he enjoyed dinner. In the end I just apologized and said the message was meant to be for his step dad. My son is 19. I'm sure it grossed him out enough that at least he had the courtesy not to mention it. Thinking about it still makes me cringe though. 😑
40. Creativity Is Overrated, Am I Right Boss?
I was flipping through channels at work looking for a music station, when it started displaying the porn channels. The titles were hilarious, so I texted my boyfriend something like, "Wow, *ss Pounders 3 is on at 2pm, They're not even trying with the titles, just straight to the chase."
Of course, it wasn't my boyfriend but my former boss, who thankfully is very cool. He replied with, "Oh I agree, marketing really could be more creative."
I was still horribly embarrassed for the rest of the day.
39. The Light Threat Of Murder
My cousin was getting married and I stayed at my aunt's place to walk the dogs while she was busy getting ready for the wedding. About 30 minutes into this pet-sitting gig, I noticed that my aunt's goldfish had gone belly-up. My sister and I have terrible senses of humor so I texted her a pic of the dead fish and wrote, "pet sitting is going well, Rueben is next" (Rueben is the name of the dog)
I sent it to my aunt instead of my sister. She never mentioned it which made it worse somehow.
38. SURPRISE! ...Or Not
This is probably gonna get buried but here it goes. I almost ruined my friends surprise 30th birthday party. On the day of his party, we were all gathered in the party room. I was texting him because he felt sad he couldn't hang out with all his friends on his own birthday and he was going to one of his cousins birthday parties. I was kind of comforting him. All this while I was texting a mutual friend about us meeting up. I ended up texting the birthday boy, "I'll meet you out back, we gotta hurry though, he'll be here soon." I covered up by saying, I meant to send that to my bro, who was meeting me "in the backyard" to smoke before my Dad got home.
The birthday boy was still surprised, or at least played it off really well and told me later it seemed suspicious but he didn't think anything of it. Phew!
37. It's Always The Boss On Both Receiving Ends
Off sick from work, my missus and my boss had both texted me in a short space of time to check up on me, I thought I was responding to my missus with;
"honey, it's coming out both ends now, it won't stop coming out :sad face:"
My male boss text back saying "ah sweetie, you'll be alright xx" I felt like dying of embarrassment. Got into the office a few days later and first thing he did was crack up laughing when he saw me, still get stick about it to this day. He at least says he know's I wasn't faking it, as no one would commit that hard.
36. Say It Again, I Dare You
GiphyTo my religious, non-cussing mother: "It's hot as a motherfucker out here."
I immediately realized I sent it to the wrong person and I said, "I'm so sorry that wasn't for you." She said, "It better not be, that was very rude." That was five years ago and sometimes I will say, "Wow it's hot in here..." and she'll say, "How hot is it, lc7926? Hehehe"
35. Dadniel
So this is actually the wife jumping on to tell this story! For about 6months my husband lived apart while he was finishing out a work contract and we were moving to a new home about 200 miles away! While the house was being built we stayed with my parents! Seemed like the best way to save money since the whole thing was just temporary.
Well I was missing the hubby something fierce and decided to try my hand at sexting! I wrote my husband saying "I am just lying in bed using my purple vibrator and thinking of you!" My husband's name is Daniel. Well, two second later from the other room I hear my dad yell "what the hell! What are doing in there?" Yeah, I sent my Dad something meant for my husband Daniel, I came out of the room laughing because what else can you do?
He told me he doesn't want to know what I'm up to and that I better not doing crap like that while I'm his house. I am 30. We both never spoke of it again.
34. Dammit, Diana
I was in the car on the way to the airport with some friends and we were running late. We were about halfway there and on of my friends discovered she forgot her phone. We had turn around 20 minutes to go get it. I texted my girlfriend, "So we're on the way back because DIANA FORGOT HER F*CKING PHONE!"
I texted that to Diana. Many lolz especially because her mom was driving us and I had to say, "Diana, you're going to have a text from me waiting on your phone."
33. Accidentally A Jerk
New job, 8 weeks in and one of the older guys, who actually interviewed me, in the (small, 5 person sitting next to each other) finance team starts asking me some really basic questions about some accounting standards and how he should do something.
Go on our IM system to ask one of the guys (my age I got on with) if the older finance guy was EVEN qualified as an accountant. Took ages to reply, went for lunch and came back to a message from the older guy saying "yes, I am". Immediately got back up and left to contemplate just jumping out of the window.
Over my 4 years there we NEVER spoke about it and acted like it never happened. Safe to say later that day in the pub it got a good laugh from the guy I thought I was sending the message to.
32. I'm In Love With Stacey's Mom
Not sure if this counts but still awful:
I changed my phone and was on my way to back home to get all my numbers back, got some texts from a number that seemed familiar asking me about a movie and just assumed it was my girlfriend because we had been talking about going out to see some marvel movie earlier.
Got out of character super innocent responses to flirting, however, yet, still stupidly confident this was my girlfriend, I figured she was just messing with me as usual and kept going as normal.
Then I get a text from a number I know to be my dad telling me I'm being really inappropriate/taking a joke too far....then I realized I'd been attempting to flirt with my step-mother (just trying to invite me to a family movie thing) for like 30 minutes (and I mean like disgustingly aggressive teenager flirting too), I wanted to disown myself, thank god she didn't take it personally, I was uninvited to the family movie night that week though.
31. Reversed The Digits
GiphyHigh school, stoked about my new cell phone and was getting everyone's number
Text one of my buddies "sup b*tch" because this is how friends talk to each other
Text this girl I had a crush on and was developing a small connection with "hey cutie"
Later, see girl and she is flustered saying "hey, why did you call me that?"
Thinking she is referring to being called cutie and that I may have overstepped my boundaries, I say "ah was that not okay?"
She says "no!"
I'm really taken back by this extreme reaction to being called cutie until later I see that I had texted her "sup b*tch"
After that we had a good laugh about it.
30. Get Ready For Some Level Ten Humiliation
When I was dating my wife at the tail end of college, we were sexting back and forth. I've never really been a sext guy. It seems pointless and silly and if I'm not with you I don't really want to be talking to you. Sexts just seem to go on and on. It's tiring really.
Anyway, my mom had texted me earlier and I'd responded about coming home that weekend.
Back to sexting. I realized that if I started being silly in my sexts my girlfriend would seem to lose interest and the sexts would wrap up. So this time I decided to ask if she was "ready for a level 5 cocknado"
I hadn't realized tho that my mother had texted me a moment before I started typing so I was actually responding to her.
29. To The Other Side
I was actually on the receiving end here.
The morning after a relatively wild night of college binge drinking, I woke up to a barrage of notifications on my phone.
One of these notifications was a text sent just before I woke up. It said "Good morning daddy :)"
Now, for a guy that's usually a great text to get. However, this particular text was from my twin sister.
I just sat there confused and stared at that message. Honestly, I didn't even think it was a mistake at first. I thought there was some critical piece of context that was locked away in my blackout brain, and I kept trying to reason with myself as to why my sister would send that to me.
After about 10 minutes of this, my sister texts me again with "OH F*CK NO THAT WASNT SUPPOSED TO GO TO YOU"
And then the dots connected in my partially functioning brain - that text was meant to go to some dude who was banging my sister.
How and why she accidentally texted me by mistake is beyond me. To be honest, I'm just happy it wasn't a picture message.
28. The Hockey Game Was, In The End, To Blame
I was on the way to a hockey game with my girlfriend. The relationship was running down and we had been fighting all day.
The tickets had been a gift from her, but she angrily suggested that I just take a friend instead.
I figured that was bait, so as much as I would have preferred that option, I said, "but you got these for me, this is part of the gift. There's nobody else I would rather go with than you".
My friend, whom I had been keeping abreast of the situation, suggested that I shouldn't go at all and that it would just make the situation worse. Being a good friend he even offered to pay my way to go to a game another day to make up for it.
He suggested that if I didn't go, we could go catch it at a bar together or something. But he asked that I let him know when I had made up my mind so that he could plan something else.
Smash cut to my girlfriend and I driving to the game. We haven't said a word to each other the entire drive. It. Is. Awkward.
So we parked in our favorite "free" parking spot near the rink downtown, and hailed a cab to go the rest of the way.
Then it dawned on me. Oh crap, I never texted my friend back.
So I hastily texted him, "hey buddy, tonight sucks lol. But I guess I'm in it to win it now, so I'll catch ya another night".
The quiet in the cab somehow went even icier.
Pregnant pause...
"It was me", said my girlfriend.
"What?" I asked.
"You sent that text to me", She said through gritted teeth.
I started laughing. I have to admit.
She couldn't see the humour. I tried to make it a connective moment.
I said, "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. But cosmically, this is funny, right?"
She didn't agree.
We broke up that night at the game.
Thank god.
Note: She's a good person, we just didn't belong together.
27. Two Lauras, No Time
I had an LG enV3 for awhile that would switch recipient when I sent a text in college.
I also had multiple friends named Laura, but they were in different friend circles. One was a young, healthy and active classmate in my core classes. The other was a friend of mine who had been struggling with chronic illness for a long time.
I meant to text one friend "yeah, Laura is in the hospital," to a friend who knew the 2nd Laura. But as I hit sent it instead sent to a classmate who knew the 1st Laura and was close friends with her.
I looked away from my phone for only about 2 minutes but when I came back my phone was blowing up:
"OMG IS SHE OKAY?! DOES [her boyfriend/ now husband] KNOW??? WHAT HOSPITAL? ARE YOU GOING? CAN YOU PICK ME UP I'LL GET MY SHOES ON!"
I called that friend immediately and calmed them down to explain the situation.
But I learned two things:
a) that is a really solid friend.
b) I am so damn lucky that's the worst mix-up I had with that phone before I turned it back in to Verizon.
26. Definitely Need Some Of That Scotch
Hey, I got a story for this. Kinda long, but what else are you doing right now?
I have a close friend/co-worker (we'll call him Joe). One day I gave Joe a ride home from work. I was trying to tell him about this Scotch I like, but I couldn't remember the name of it. So, when I got home, I sent him a picture of the (empty) bottle. The next night I get a reply that just says "who is this?"
So this is where a smart person would say who they are and confirm who they were talking to. I, however, am not a smart man. I had just left Joe at a bar, and for some reason I assumed that he just didn't have my number saved and/or was drunk. So I texted him "I smoke crack in your nightmares," which was a reference to an actual nightmare that a mutual friend had told Joe and I about. A few minutes later, I got a response that said "WHO IS THIS?"
Again, this is where a smart person might notice something is amiss. I, however, did not. Instead of wondering if I had the right number, I decided to tell him "check your chip-chafed buttcrack." This was another inside joke, referring to something that had happened at work that day. I get another text that says "WHO THE F@*K IS THIS!?"
So at this point, I decide Joe is too drunk to understand these references. I tell him "Jeez, this is just sad now. It's Brakalicious." The response: "I DON'T KNOW A BRAKALICIOUS, WHO IS THIS?"
Finally, I started to catch on. I asked, "is this not Joe?" They said, "NO IT'S NOT AND YOU'RE SCARING THE HELL OUT OF MY SON!"
Apparently I had been texting a child. Let me quickly recap what I had sent:
- A picture of an empty bottle of Scotch.
- "I smoke crack in your nightmares."
- "Check your chip-chafed buttcrack."
I know I'm not smart, but stuff like this makes me worry that I'm full-blown stupid. Be careful out there, you guys.
25. Tell All Your Friends
GiphyI thought I was texting my partner, but I accidentally sent my mom this text:
"I love when you make love to me."
She proceeded to tell all of my friends.
24. Boss Move
I once texted my boss: Imma put your whole face in this ramen and you will love me so hard for it."
23. Dad's So Pretty
I almost always send my girl a good morning text, accidentally sent this one to Dad instead:
"Good morning beautiful! I love you and hope you have a wonderful day!"
My dad just responded back:
"I always knew I was pretty."
22. Chomping
GiphyI didn't send one, but I got one about me. I was on a plane with a group of co-workers, including a husband & wife seated a few rows ahead of me. I was eating a bag of Doritos when I get a text from the wife saying:
**"Is that (me) chomping away on chips back there?!" **
Like she was clearly annoyed with how loudly I was eating. I read it, smirked, and just waited. After a while, I watched her look at her husband wondering why he hadn't reacted to her text. Then she went back into her texts and realized she had sent it to me. We were still waiting to taxi so texts went through with no problem. She realized there was chance it didn't send and that I definitely got it.
Then I watched her ever so slowly set her phone down in her lap and stare silently straight ahead.
21. The Elf-ephant in the room.
My boss accidentally sent me a picture of a sexy elf costume asking if I would wear it. He apologized profusely for it.
20. Thanks, Siri
I was once trying to send my 14 year old daughter a text via Siri and it wouldn't recognize her name every time I said "Text (daughter)." I got annoyed and started cursing Siri out, which of course, Siri understood loud and clear.
She was waiting to be picked up from dance class. Thanks, Siri.
19. Bad Date
GiphyI was on a bad date, so I texted my friend with benefits:
**"This date sucks and I'm about to ditch them ASAP to come over to your place." **
Except I sent it to the person I was on the date with by accident. The date ended fairly quickly at that point.
18. CC Everyone
My buddy and I gchat at work all the time, and one day he was leaving and meant to type to his wife "see you at home, love you xoxo" and he accidentally sent it to me. Now we say "love you xoxo" to each other at the end of every day.
17. Urinal Acoustics
I once texted my boss that I thought the guy next to me in the urinal must have had a huge urethra based on how loud he peed...
16. This Never Happened
GiphyMy girlfriend left a pair of her underwear and had suggested I try them on. I did and sent a funny photo. She didn't respond, so I went to ask if she got it. That's when I saw that I had sent it to my younger brother.
I message back saying:
"Not meant for you, this NEVER happened." __
He replies back:
"This never happened."
It's been like 3 years I think and we've never discussed it, but maybe a few years down the line it'd be funny to bring back up and see if he remembers it.
15. Poke-Sweat
Me And my girlfriend spent all day playing Pokemon Go in the hot Australian sun. Later, I sent a picture of my sweaty underwear to my girlfriend with the message:
**"Look at that sweat!" **
Turns out I sent it to my Pokemon Go group with more than 70 local people.
14. The Blue Speedo
GiphyI sent a screenshot of an Amazon page to a client. She's a 58 year old woman from Nigeria.
It was a very small blue Speedo, on a male model.
13. Control, Alt., Delete My Memory
I was sitting on the toilet doing my business when my S.O sent me a text saying
**"How's the poo going?" **
I told him it was going great, so he jokingly asked for a picture. Thinking it would be hilarious I turned around, snapped a pic and hit send. I immediately realized I was actually on another chat with my friend - boyfriends message had just popped up as a notification.
12. 2 Boobs and 7 Chins
I was getting dressed with my phone in my hand. I was bent over to pick up a shirt and bra. My thumb must have been near that pic button in the chat. Next thing I know I've sent a lovely "selfie" and 7 chins to my Dungeons And Dragons group chat. Like awkward front-facing camera nude, not sexy.
This happened 2 days ago, I am still mortified. I can only hope I made someone's day, because I cried.
11. Cringeworthy
GiphyWhen I was like 16, I wrote to a friend about liking a girl. Of course I wrote it to her by accident.
I tried to cover it like:
"hahaha, yeah I did that on purpose to freak you out."
I ended up confessing later, but she wasn't interested.
I still cringe.
10. Kill Me Now
My friend cheated on her boyfriend and was trying to make it seem like it only happened one time, so she texted the other boy ...
"If (boyfriend) asks, we only had sex once"
and sent it to her boyfriend...
9. Bluetooth Betrayal
So this was not sent to the wrong person but still received by the wrong person. For the sake of the story, let's say my name is Jorge.:
I was at a college party with my friends. One of my friends sister showed up and we got along great. Friend and his sister drive me home. He is driving, hot sister is in the back seat playing music from her phone. I had gotten her number earlier and things had been getting flirty, so I texted her. Obviously I didn't want my friend/her brother to hear me trying to get with her. I didn't realize her phone would play the text out loud through the car's speakers. The music went silent and her phone goes:
**"Jorge said: Can't wait to get you alone." **
I am there in the front seat mortified because my close friend just heard what I wanted to do to his sister. He had no idea that she and I had even talked that night. Trying to cover with humor, I just look at her and go:
**"hehehehe AWKWAAARRD" **
He sat dead silent looking at the road.
8. Ringer
GiphyMy sister asked for a picture of the engagement ring I was buying for my fiance. Guess who I actually sent that one to.
7. Don't Tell Anyone Mom Killed The Baby Sitter
Sent the mom of the child I was babysitting a text stating that I would rather jump out of their window than continue to watch their kid for the rest of their night. Yeah, not my proudest moment.
I paced back and forth in their house until they got home. Pretended nothing happened and they texted me when I got home confronting me about it. I apologized and never saw them again. Oops.
6. Mom-entary Lapse
When I was sick a few months ago I actually sent my mom a text message asking her to come cuddle and rub my tummy until I felt better. It was meant for my boyfriend at the time. She totally thought that I was just homesick and missing my mom, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
5. Apology Required
GiphyMessaged my teammate Chris, he didn't respond, messaged him again in a vulgar way because I thought he was just ignoring me. Turns out there are two people at work with the very same name, and autopopulate picked the wrong one. This guy was a very serious Director. I was a lowly engineer. He was pissed, but I apologized profusely on IM and called him to apologize. I think that combo spared me. Still work there today.
4. Sorry Boss
One time I was a passenger in my mate's car and this segment on the radio played, like "text us your horrible boss stories and be in to win!" I'm sure you can see where this is going. My boss at the time was pretty awful. Didn't give me breaks, over worked me, charged me tax but pocketed it, was 5 weeks behind in my wages, would get drunk in the front by himself while I was in the back cleaning dishes (this was a restaurant). So I put this in a text to the radio station.
I wish.
I put this in a text to my boss.
I had work that night. Very awkward shift. It's like he wanted to be mad at me, but now he was aware that I knew what he was doing was immoral he didn't want to make it worse...
Not many words were spoken that night.
3. Snapshot
my best friend had a new boyfriend that I hadn't met or even seen a photo of. We were hanging out and she kept getting snaps from him and it was ruining the movie we were watching. I turned to her and was like "what ya snappin?"
And she said her boyfriend kept sending her funny snap filter photos. Her phone dinged and she was like "oh he just sent one! Wanna see so you know what he looks like?" And it was his penis. So I saw his manhood before his face.
2. Advise this?
GiphyMy freshman year roommate accidentally sent his academic advisor a timelapse of himself eating 12 tacos. I don't think I've ever laughed harder than after him yelling across the room, "OH s***! /u/lespaulbro, can I unsend an email???" 12/12, even now it's still funny to taco bout it.
1. Awkward Turtle
School had me swamped so I barely got to see my girlfriend for a while so I sent a mushy text about how she's always on my mind and I love her, accidentally sent it to a casual friend only to find out that she was secretly in love with me... it was a very awkward situation.
People are required to have a license to drive, fish, and have certain jobs.
So it boggles my mind that people aren't required to have a license to have kids.
Some of the cruelest and most vicious things I've ever heard were words uttered by a parent to a child.
As an adult, I was haunted by a few thigs.
I can't imagine the scaring of an adolescent.
Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
A tough realization that most of us have to process and accept at some point is the fact that our parents lied to us when we were kids.
But the tougher fact to process may not be the lying itself, but some of the lies that were told along the way.
Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the biggest lie you believed?"
Adulting 101
"That adults knew what they were doing."
- yukipurple
"Maybe not ALL adults, but I definitely thought that adults with responsible jobs have their s**t together. Then I realized they do not have their s**t together at all."
"Which in turn makes me feel somewhat better about being an adult with a responsible job who does not have their s**t together."
- kjhwkejhkhdsfkjhsdkf
Moving Violations
"It’s illegal to turn on the dome light while the vehicle is moving."
"Nope. Turns out it’s just annoying as h**l."
- OstrichMan975
A Lottery Trick
"When I was a kid, my cousin convinced me for, like, an hour that her mom had won the lottery. I can still feel the loss of millions of dollars two decades later, and that s**t hurts, bro."
"WHY, JESSICA, WHY?!"
- iforgotwhereiparked
That Truth Hurts
"I’ll fill up my car with gas before work tomorrow morning."
- hoangtudude
"I will do stuff like this for my fiancé in a heartbeat, but if I need to fill up my own gas tank to avoid doing it tomorrow? That sounds like a problem for future me."
- robbviously
When That Grief Hits Seven Years Later...
"My mom told me when I was five and my favorite dog died that it doesn't matter that dogs die, because in seven years, they respawn."
"So I was like, 'Oh, fine. See you then, bud, I will be older, and we will play again.'"
- josevilla7
Replacement Pets
"My hamster died while I was in school. Went back home, and I instantly saw he was a little bit different."
"My mum tricked me into thinking it was the same hamster and he hadn't changed a bit."
"Mom told me the truth a few years later. I was so p**sed off."
- changethename7
"My mom has done the same thing with my nephew’s parakeet. One day, Pickles #1 flew into the pantry, somehow got stuck in a case of Diet Coke, and got crushed by a can avalanche."
"He was immediately replaced by Pickles #2. My nephew asked why Pickles was so mean to him now. Pickles #2 is an a**hole."
"I’m suspicious that we are on Pickles #3 now but I don’t want to know for sure."
- Brotox123
"My mother's cousin did that with her little boy's rabbit."
"The new rabbit was a psychopath. Having his previously loving rabbit now hate him and repeatedly attack him was almost certainly more traumatizing than learning about death."
"I always wondered if stories like that were part of the inspiration for 'Pet Sematary.'"
- victoriaj
Just in Case
"The microwave will explode if I put my face too close to it while it’s heating food."
- ezzysalazar
A SUPER Secret Affair
"That my parents were married."
"The truth is, my father was, just not to my mother."
- left_over_croissant
A Creative Story
"That my dad moved out and rented a room in the house of a female friend for tax reasons."
- Eldhannas
Such Good Friends
"Outside of dumb lies your parents tell you as kids, my friend who worked at a gas station with a big food station that has some ground beef items told me they use kangaroo meat for their ground beef because it was cheaper than cow."
"I am gullible with my friends."
- _Goose_
The Lie That Keeps Going
"When I was 15, over my summer break, one day my mom called and said she was gonna pick me up and we were gonna go to my stepdad's for the weekend."
"I didn’t understand why I had to go when she would leave me at home by myself for the weekend all the time. I was old enough that I knew the rules and she could trust me."
"She told me there was a mixup at the electrical company and they seem to think we didn’t pay the bill and so the power was gonna be shut off, so we were gonna go to my stepdad's until that got sorted."
"That was a lie."
"A weekend turned into two weeks, which turned into a month, and then the entire summer. We hadn’t been home in over two months. I kept asking when we could go home and she’d always have an excuse."
"We reached September, she’s driving me from one city to my hometown to register for the following year of school, which started up in a week, and this was the closest I had been to home in two months! After I registered, we bypassed my house and started heading towards the highway to go back to my stepdad’s."
"It was at that moment I snapped and started freaking out! I knew something was wrong."
"She pulled the car over and started crying. Apparently, my brother had been helping her pay the bills and when he moved out, she could no longer afford the place on her own. So my stepdad was trying to help but he had his own house and kids he had to look after, and he couldn’t keep it up. We had been evicted."
"We stayed with my stepdad for the summer while my mom tried to work something out with the landlord, but they couldn’t come to an arrangement. Because she never told me, and in order to buy herself time to work something out, she had to be comfortable with potentially leaving EVERYTHING behind…"
"Well, she couldn’t work it out with the landlord and we lost EVERYTHING. The only thing I got out of that house was the shoes on my feet and a few outfits and pajamas enough for a weekend stay."
"My mother wanted to keep the lie going for as long as she could to buy herself time that she had to leave behind everything to keep it going. She never went back for anything, so eventually I can only assume it was all thrown away."
"So not only did I lose material belongings like my computer, my video games, and all my clothes, but I lost basic things like my own bedroom… and privacy as a teenager! I slept on my stepdad’s couch for almost two years until his daughters moved out and I took over their old room."
"But I also lost sentimental things like childhood pictures/videos, the memory box I started when I was seven, and the porcelain dolls my dad had given me over the years, he bought me two per year (birthday and Christmas,) and now that my dad is dead, those are things I wish I still had."
- Neikitia
An Elaborate Tale
"When I was very young, we had a pet hamster. He got out of his cage, so my dad put the cage in the basement, thinking he might get hungry and get back in."
"One morning I woke up and there was the hamster in his cage in the usual place. I asked my mom how they found him and she told me she opened the door to the cellar and there he was dragging his cage back upstairs."
"It wasn't until I was a teenager and remembered the exchange that it occurred to me she obviously made that up."
- censorized
Too Real
"That acne would only be a problem when I was a teenager."
- McGamers56
"I started breaking out in the third grade and haven't had clear skin since. I'll be 27 pretty soon. This one hits home."
- bayleenator
Part of the Family
"When I was like 16, I found out that one of my sisters wasn’t actually my sister. She was actually just best friends with my oldest sister growing up, and she lived with my family from when she was 12 or 13 through 18 (she and my oldest sister are 15 years older than me)."
"Unfortunately, her parents wouldn’t sign her over for adoption and didn’t contribute anything to my mom raising her for six years."
"The weirdest part is that my family is predominantly fair-skinned, blonde with blue eyes, but the girl I thought was my sister was traditional Hispanic with darker skin, dark hair, and brown eyes. My mom was always very tan and had darker skin and hair throughout my childhood, so I thought that my other two sisters and myself were the odd ones out."
- Schleeeeeem
The Deepest Betrayal of All
"On April Fool's while I was getting ready for school on a cold winter day, my mom told me, 'School is canceled! It's a snow day!'"
"I ran around for a good two minutes celebrating before she told me, 'April Fools!'"
"I've never felt so betrayed in my life."
- samivat
"You better be a mastermind supervillain by now."
- T_WREKX
"Thank you for sharing your Joker origin story, lol (laughing out loud)."
- JulienS2000
These lies have a wide range from the hilarious to the absolutely diabolical, maybe even with a few villain origin stories thrown in.
A common thread throughout most of these was someone telling a lie in order to avoid a tougher conversation, which only led the younger person to have a lot more to process later.
With theaters finally open to those wanting the ultimate entertainment experience that streaming movies at home can't provide, the pandemic that kept many venues closed now feels like a distant memory.
There's nothing like seeing a film up on the big screen the way Hollywood studios intended, and many would argue that experience is worth shelling out the cash for.
That being said, there is no assurance audiences will remain in their seats until the credits roll at the end.
Because not all movies are created equal. Some are just embarrassingly bad and not worth sticking around for.
Curious to hear from dissatisfied moviegoers, Redditor girlcalledmariaaria asked:
"If you have ever walked out of a cinema because the film was so bad, what one was it?"
These Redditors had no idea what they were in for.
Wrong Expectations
"I've not, but when I saw In Bruges, an elderly couple walked out after 20 minutes and I heard the man muttering that this wasn't a film about Belgium at all. It really tickled me."
– Reverend-JT
Regretful Decision
"Holmes & Watson, my family really enjoyed step Brothers and Talladega nights. So I shouted the 5 of us to the movies on Christmas day because for some reason the cinemas were open and it was showing and we don't really do big celebrations. 15 minutes into the movie we all looked at each other like.. wtf is this. I tried to leave.. I went to ask for a refund because their policy said you can get a refund 30 minutes into the movie... But we were 5 minutes late because of the 20 minute trailers.. I'm still seething about spending $100 to basically die of boredom for an hour and a half. I was sitting there embarrassed about suggesting the family outing. My family stuck it out because I'd paid for it and couldn't get a refund even though I told them I didnt care and begged to leave."
– jande425
Plan B
"I've got a story of a film my friends and I refused to leave, actually."
"In 2006 I was turning 14 and was obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean. My mom threw a pirates-themed birthday party where my friends and I were meant to go to see Dead Man's Chest, which was still in theaters in August when the party was. We dressed up for it and everything."
"Well for some reason the showing we were going to see was packed despite the movie having been out over a month, so there weren't 12 tickets available. My mother (and my friend's mom who came along) made a split second decision to see the next PG-13 rated movie available."
"Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby."
"So a gaggle of 14 year old girls dressed as pirates walked into this theatre to a bunch of weird looks, but we sat down with our popcorn as normal. The next hour-and-a-halfish saw the moms be horrified at the crass nature of the film and keep asking if we wanted to leave. The answer was a HELL NO from the whole group. That movie proceeded to be the basis of our inside jokes for the next 4 years. To this day it's one of our collective favorite grade school memories, even if my mother continues to be embarrassed by it."
– fraxiiinus
Whether it was physical or emotional, these films didn't sit well with Redditors.
Saving Our Necks
"Oh, I remember vividly. It was Battlefield Earth."
"The shot angles kept being tilted this way and that for no reason and I started tilting my head so that things would be level. Then my friend joined in. Then we simultaneously were like 'are we going to cramp our necks for THIS?' And walked out."
– Ahlq802
Punishment For Sneaking In
"I walked out of 28 days later. Not because it was bad. I was 9 years old and snuck in and it was freaking me the f'k out.. watched it years later and enjoyed it."
– OMGi_hafta_poop
Oh, The Horror
"I saw Prometheus twice in theaters. At the second show, a group of 10-year-olds snuck in. The first R-rated scene, which features an alien worm/snake that crawls inside someone's shattered arm, caused these kids to flee the theater in an absolute panic. I imagine they will never forget that day."
– fleur_delyk
Sometimes, it's the theater's fault.
Failed Attempts
"I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy, and they played Rise of the Guardians."
"It took about five minutes to realize it was the wrong movie the first time. They tried to fix it, played Rise again, tried to fix it, played Rise a third time, and the whole theater walked out for refunds."
"Apparently it was a issue at a lot of theaters."
– MandolinMagi
Not A Prank
"I guess this technically counts but when I went to see deadpool 2, the cinema accidentally put the wrong film on and played some Amy Schumer film instead. Everyone in the screen thought it was some meta deadpool joke and out of nowhere he’d appear and shoot Amy Schumer so we were all waiting on that. After about 10 minutes of the film, the staff came into the screen and explained that they had put the wrong film on and couldn’t undo it because of their tight schedule etc but we would all get a refund and were welcome to stay and watch the rest of the Amy Schumer film. Everyone left."
– KMeech1969
Other times, the movie itself doesn't screen well for the audience.
Far From Purr-fect
"I’ve never walked out of a movie and I saw Cats opening weekend."
– Man_Bear_Pig25
"I walked out on it, but then decided I wanted to be back inside. They let me back in, but then I walked out again."
– CatherineOfArrogance
I'm all for supporting the arts.
But if a movie I already paid a non-refundable admission for was absolutely terrible, I'd have no problem forfeiting the cash to spare my sanity and walking out of the theater.
The one time I did just that was when I went to see The Island of Doctor Moreau starring Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer.
I was a kid and I was thrilled to go see a movie all by myself.
Unfortunately, the sci-fi horror film wasn't enough to captivate my short attention span.
I walked out and subsequently called my mom to pick me up from the mall where the movie theater was.
Those were the days...
If there was one good thing to come out of the pandemic, it was that it made us all the more appreciative of all that is good in our lives.
No one ever appreciated the importance of friends or family more, having to be kept apart from each other for months, or the little things which bring us joy, which we made sure to keep doing even as pandemic restrictions were lifted.
Of course, being alone with our thoughts for such a long time also resulted in our reflecting on things in our lives, or in the world in general, which we were less than happy about.
Not to mention the all-important realization that life is short and precious, and we don't have time to waste our thoughts on some things.
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.