Mis-texts; we've all had it happen and it can sometimes be the stuff of nightmares.
Well, for the people involved anyway. For those of us who get to watch the shenanigans go down, it's the greatest show on earth. The circus ain't got nuthin' on this!
One Reddit user asked: What is the worst text that you accidentally sent to the wrong person?
Want to feel better about your life? At least you're not the dude who sent a picture of his booty-sweat to his Pokemon friends. Unless you are that guy, in which case, Sir we thank you for the greatest belly laugh we've ever had.
You guys ready to do this?
50. The Voice That Rocks The CradleGiphy
While at school I accidentally sent a text to a friend's house phone (landline). I happened to be a passenger in the car behind him and sent a message to him (also a passenger) saying "look behind you, I'm in close pursuit". Apparently when you text landlines a creepy artificial voice attempts to read the text to the recipient when they pick up the phone. His mum on receiving the message locked all the doors and windows and called the police about a potential stalker...
49. Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride(smaid)
Not the text I sent, but one a friend sent me.
Context: Recently got engaged and was visiting my closest friends individually to deliver their "Will you be my bridesmaid?" cards. Most of them took a photo of the card and put it on social media which was fine.
An hour later I get a text from one of my bridesmaids that says, "OMG I can't believe (sheliveslight) made (friend) a bridesmaid!! She'll just sleep around with the groomsmen like she did at the last wedding she was in. EWWW. Is it too late to deny the bridesmaid offer?"
Definitely had a good laugh with my fiancé about it. The bridesmaid apologized profusely after she sent the text (she claims it was meant for her mom to see), and still asks me to not bring it up whenever we're texting or hanging out. Still made her a bridesmaid though.
48. Wrong Mom Syndrome
This might not be the worst, but it happened yesterday so i thought i'd share.
My relationship with my mom is very much about cooking and house related stuff.
My relationship with my MiL is different, a lot more business-orientated, but still good.
Yesterday I sent to my MiL, very excitedly "I've found bread that smells just like the bread you used to make!".
When i got the reply that said "OK?", i knew i sent it to the wrong mom.
I resent the message to my mom, with the mixup i made and she found it extremely amusing.
So yeah. Accidentally sent a warm fuzzy message about bread to the wrong mom.
47. I Kissed A Girl And Seriously Disliked It
I tried to send a text to my boyfriend about how exasperated I was with my boss who had offered me a ride back to the office but was late. Yeah, guess who I actually sent that text to. It was an awkward car ride.
Not sure you'd call it an accident, drunk me definitely knew what she was doing, but I also texted my boyfriend while I was black out drunk to let him know that I was black out drunk and had made out with a chick and she tasted weird and I didn't like it.
46. Oof, And Here's Where We Get OffGiphy
The year after my husband died, I was dating a guy with whom I had shared some of the horrors of my marriage. He knew I was not a grieving widow. We usually would go out on Tuesday nights because I don't work Wednesday mornings.
On a Monday afternoon, the day before my husband's birthday, I had been texting my BF, when I received a text alert that asked if I wanted to go out Tuesday night to "celebrate."
Thinking this was my BF being funny, I texted back "you mean a bwahaha party?"
The text was from my daughter.
Probably too late but this is probably the most cringey thing I have ever done... So a couple years ago when I was like 19 I was working in an automotive shop. During slow season I got put on piece work, so this meant that every morning my boss would text me to let me know what time he needed me to come into work that day. Well one morning I woke up to a very depressing message from my super insecure boyfriend at the time. Basically saying that he didn't think he was good enough for me and he felt like I could do better, blah blah blah.
So before I got ready for work, I typed out this extremely long mushy response basically saying all that cheesy bullshit you say when you're trying to convince a person that everything's fine and that you love them and all that stupid shit. Like I'm talking the cheesiest cheese that's ever been cheesed via text message. So I type this long sappy message and send it so I can get ready for work.... only to later find out that I had somehow accidentally sent the message to a nice old Irish gentlemen- aka my fucking boss. I was mortified.
I was relentlessly teased for weeks by the shop full of older men that I worked with. Luckily my boyfriend and I split up 2 months later when I received a nice Facebook message from his ex girlfriend. Among the messages were screenshots of messages from my boyfriend begging for another chance, telling her that he would leave me in a heartbeat for another shot with her. My coworkers stopped teasing me shortly after that haha
44. Select Your Fighter
One time in college I got this girls number and texted her a little bit. That night I had been playing Mortal Kombat with my friend before we went out.
Anyway, that same friend goes home with a girl, and the next day, with a terrible hangover, I send the text "did you engage is sexual kombat with (girls name)"
Waited a while and didn't get a response and to my horror, I see I had accidentally sent it to the girl who's number I had gotten. That was so awkward but also so hilarious.
43. But The Deodorant Tho
This actually happened.
Meant to send it to my friend "AA". His name is right next to my boss "AB" on my phone. This was the first day back from Christmas holidays and I was trying to get a jump on the new year.
Sent this to my boss instead of my friend about my recent breakup:
"In the deodorant section at meijer and so many condoms here. Guess I won't be needing those for a while"
42. Wrong Kind Of Party
i was supposed to bring something to a friend's party and texted, "should i just bring some snacky things?" but instead it auto corrected to, "should i just bring some anally things?" i noticed right away but let it ride. she did not want anal things at this particular party.
41. Booths Are Different Than They Used To BeGiphy
Sent my husband a text asking if he liked the booty rub...
Only I forgot I had recently messaged my son so I didn't actually send it to my husband.
Luckily autocorrect changed booty to booth. Still it was mortifying. I mean maybe a booth rub is better than a booty rub, but a rub is a rub right?
As my life flashed before my eyes I thought of some detailed explanation on how to save myself the extreme embarrassment of my mistake. I was going to say it should have said bbq rub and I was asking about it to see if he enjoyed dinner. In the end I just apologized and said the message was meant to be for his step dad. My son is 19. I'm sure it grossed him out enough that at least he had the courtesy not to mention it. Thinking about it still makes me cringe though. 😑
40. Creativity Is Overrated, Am I Right Boss?
I was flipping through channels at work looking for a music station, when it started displaying the porn channels. The titles were hilarious, so I texted my boyfriend something like, "Wow, *ss Pounders 3 is on at 2pm, They're not even trying with the titles, just straight to the chase."
Of course, it wasn't my boyfriend but my former boss, who thankfully is very cool. He replied with, "Oh I agree, marketing really could be more creative."
I was still horribly embarrassed for the rest of the day.
39. The Light Threat Of Murder
My cousin was getting married and I stayed at my aunt's place to walk the dogs while she was busy getting ready for the wedding. About 30 minutes into this pet-sitting gig, I noticed that my aunt's goldfish had gone belly-up. My sister and I have terrible senses of humor so I texted her a pic of the dead fish and wrote, "pet sitting is going well, Rueben is next" (Rueben is the name of the dog)
I sent it to my aunt instead of my sister. She never mentioned it which made it worse somehow.
38. SURPRISE! ...Or Not
This is probably gonna get buried but here it goes. I almost ruined my friends surprise 30th birthday party. On the day of his party, we were all gathered in the party room. I was texting him because he felt sad he couldn't hang out with all his friends on his own birthday and he was going to one of his cousins birthday parties. I was kind of comforting him. All this while I was texting a mutual friend about us meeting up. I ended up texting the birthday boy, "I'll meet you out back, we gotta hurry though, he'll be here soon." I covered up by saying, I meant to send that to my bro, who was meeting me "in the backyard" to smoke before my Dad got home.
The birthday boy was still surprised, or at least played it off really well and told me later it seemed suspicious but he didn't think anything of it. Phew!
37. It's Always The Boss On Both Receiving Ends
Off sick from work, my missus and my boss had both texted me in a short space of time to check up on me, I thought I was responding to my missus with;
"honey, it's coming out both ends now, it won't stop coming out :sad face:"
My male boss text back saying "ah sweetie, you'll be alright xx" I felt like dying of embarrassment. Got into the office a few days later and first thing he did was crack up laughing when he saw me, still get stick about it to this day. He at least says he know's I wasn't faking it, as no one would commit that hard.
36. Say It Again, I Dare YouGiphy
To my religious, non-cussing mother: "It's hot as a motherfucker out here."
I immediately realized I sent it to the wrong person and I said, "I'm so sorry that wasn't for you." She said, "It better not be, that was very rude." That was five years ago and sometimes I will say, "Wow it's hot in here..." and she'll say, "How hot is it, lc7926? Hehehe"
So this is actually the wife jumping on to tell this story! For about 6months my husband lived apart while he was finishing out a work contract and we were moving to a new home about 200 miles away! While the house was being built we stayed with my parents! Seemed like the best way to save money since the whole thing was just temporary.
Well I was missing the hubby something fierce and decided to try my hand at sexting! I wrote my husband saying "I am just lying in bed using my purple vibrator and thinking of you!" My husband's name is Daniel. Well, two second later from the other room I hear my dad yell "what the hell! What are doing in there?" Yeah, I sent my Dad something meant for my husband Daniel, I came out of the room laughing because what else can you do?
He told me he doesn't want to know what I'm up to and that I better not doing crap like that while I'm his house. I am 30. We both never spoke of it again.
34. Dammit, Diana
I was in the car on the way to the airport with some friends and we were running late. We were about halfway there and on of my friends discovered she forgot her phone. We had turn around 20 minutes to go get it. I texted my girlfriend, "So we're on the way back because DIANA FORGOT HER F*CKING PHONE!"
I texted that to Diana. Many lolz especially because her mom was driving us and I had to say, "Diana, you're going to have a text from me waiting on your phone."
33. Accidentally A Jerk
New job, 8 weeks in and one of the older guys, who actually interviewed me, in the (small, 5 person sitting next to each other) finance team starts asking me some really basic questions about some accounting standards and how he should do something.
Go on our IM system to ask one of the guys (my age I got on with) if the older finance guy was EVEN qualified as an accountant. Took ages to reply, went for lunch and came back to a message from the older guy saying "yes, I am". Immediately got back up and left to contemplate just jumping out of the window.
Over my 4 years there we NEVER spoke about it and acted like it never happened. Safe to say later that day in the pub it got a good laugh from the guy I thought I was sending the message to.
32. I'm In Love With Stacey's Mom
Not sure if this counts but still awful:
I changed my phone and was on my way to back home to get all my numbers back, got some texts from a number that seemed familiar asking me about a movie and just assumed it was my girlfriend because we had been talking about going out to see some marvel movie earlier.
Got out of character super innocent responses to flirting, however, yet, still stupidly confident this was my girlfriend, I figured she was just messing with me as usual and kept going as normal.
Then I get a text from a number I know to be my dad telling me I'm being really inappropriate/taking a joke too far....then I realized I'd been attempting to flirt with my step-mother (just trying to invite me to a family movie thing) for like 30 minutes (and I mean like disgustingly aggressive teenager flirting too), I wanted to disown myself, thank god she didn't take it personally, I was uninvited to the family movie night that week though.
31. Reversed The DigitsGiphy
High school, stoked about my new cell phone and was getting everyone's number
Text one of my buddies "sup b*tch" because this is how friends talk to each other
Text this girl I had a crush on and was developing a small connection with "hey cutie"
Later, see girl and she is flustered saying "hey, why did you call me that?"
Thinking she is referring to being called cutie and that I may have overstepped my boundaries, I say "ah was that not okay?"
She says "no!"
I'm really taken back by this extreme reaction to being called cutie until later I see that I had texted her "sup b*tch"
After that we had a good laugh about it.
30. Get Ready For Some Level Ten Humiliation
When I was dating my wife at the tail end of college, we were sexting back and forth. I've never really been a sext guy. It seems pointless and silly and if I'm not with you I don't really want to be talking to you. Sexts just seem to go on and on. It's tiring really.
Anyway, my mom had texted me earlier and I'd responded about coming home that weekend.
Back to sexting. I realized that if I started being silly in my sexts my girlfriend would seem to lose interest and the sexts would wrap up. So this time I decided to ask if she was "ready for a level 5 cocknado"
I hadn't realized tho that my mother had texted me a moment before I started typing so I was actually responding to her.
29. To The Other Side
I was actually on the receiving end here.
The morning after a relatively wild night of college binge drinking, I woke up to a barrage of notifications on my phone.
One of these notifications was a text sent just before I woke up. It said "Good morning daddy :)"
Now, for a guy that's usually a great text to get. However, this particular text was from my twin sister.
I just sat there confused and stared at that message. Honestly, I didn't even think it was a mistake at first. I thought there was some critical piece of context that was locked away in my blackout brain, and I kept trying to reason with myself as to why my sister would send that to me.
After about 10 minutes of this, my sister texts me again with "OH F*CK NO THAT WASNT SUPPOSED TO GO TO YOU"
And then the dots connected in my partially functioning brain - that text was meant to go to some dude who was banging my sister.
How and why she accidentally texted me by mistake is beyond me. To be honest, I'm just happy it wasn't a picture message.
28. The Hockey Game Was, In The End, To Blame
I was on the way to a hockey game with my girlfriend. The relationship was running down and we had been fighting all day.
The tickets had been a gift from her, but she angrily suggested that I just take a friend instead.
I figured that was bait, so as much as I would have preferred that option, I said, "but you got these for me, this is part of the gift. There's nobody else I would rather go with than you".
My friend, whom I had been keeping abreast of the situation, suggested that I shouldn't go at all and that it would just make the situation worse. Being a good friend he even offered to pay my way to go to a game another day to make up for it.
He suggested that if I didn't go, we could go catch it at a bar together or something. But he asked that I let him know when I had made up my mind so that he could plan something else.
Smash cut to my girlfriend and I driving to the game. We haven't said a word to each other the entire drive. It. Is. Awkward.
So we parked in our favorite "free" parking spot near the rink downtown, and hailed a cab to go the rest of the way.
Then it dawned on me. Oh crap, I never texted my friend back.
So I hastily texted him, "hey buddy, tonight sucks lol. But I guess I'm in it to win it now, so I'll catch ya another night".
The quiet in the cab somehow went even icier.
"It was me", said my girlfriend.
"What?" I asked.
"You sent that text to me", She said through gritted teeth.
I started laughing. I have to admit.
She couldn't see the humour. I tried to make it a connective moment.
I said, "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. But cosmically, this is funny, right?"
She didn't agree.
We broke up that night at the game.
Note: She's a good person, we just didn't belong together.
27. Two Lauras, No Time
I had an LG enV3 for awhile that would switch recipient when I sent a text in college.
I also had multiple friends named Laura, but they were in different friend circles. One was a young, healthy and active classmate in my core classes. The other was a friend of mine who had been struggling with chronic illness for a long time.
I meant to text one friend "yeah, Laura is in the hospital," to a friend who knew the 2nd Laura. But as I hit sent it instead sent to a classmate who knew the 1st Laura and was close friends with her.
I looked away from my phone for only about 2 minutes but when I came back my phone was blowing up:
"OMG IS SHE OKAY?! DOES [her boyfriend/ now husband] KNOW??? WHAT HOSPITAL? ARE YOU GOING? CAN YOU PICK ME UP I'LL GET MY SHOES ON!"
I called that friend immediately and calmed them down to explain the situation.
But I learned two things:
a) that is a really solid friend.
b) I am so damn lucky that's the worst mix-up I had with that phone before I turned it back in to Verizon.
26. Definitely Need Some Of That Scotch
Hey, I got a story for this. Kinda long, but what else are you doing right now?
I have a close friend/co-worker (we'll call him Joe). One day I gave Joe a ride home from work. I was trying to tell him about this Scotch I like, but I couldn't remember the name of it. So, when I got home, I sent him a picture of the (empty) bottle. The next night I get a reply that just says "who is this?"
So this is where a smart person would say who they are and confirm who they were talking to. I, however, am not a smart man. I had just left Joe at a bar, and for some reason I assumed that he just didn't have my number saved and/or was drunk. So I texted him "I smoke crack in your nightmares," which was a reference to an actual nightmare that a mutual friend had told Joe and I about. A few minutes later, I got a response that said "WHO IS THIS?"
Again, this is where a smart person might notice something is amiss. I, however, did not. Instead of wondering if I had the right number, I decided to tell him "check your chip-chafed buttcrack." This was another inside joke, referring to something that had happened at work that day. I get another text that says "WHO THE F@*K IS THIS!?"
So at this point, I decide Joe is too drunk to understand these references. I tell him "Jeez, this is just sad now. It's Brakalicious." The response: "I DON'T KNOW A BRAKALICIOUS, WHO IS THIS?"
Finally, I started to catch on. I asked, "is this not Joe?" They said, "NO IT'S NOT AND YOU'RE SCARING THE HELL OUT OF MY SON!"
Apparently I had been texting a child. Let me quickly recap what I had sent:
- A picture of an empty bottle of Scotch.
- "I smoke crack in your nightmares."
- "Check your chip-chafed buttcrack."
I know I'm not smart, but stuff like this makes me worry that I'm full-blown stupid. Be careful out there, you guys.
25. Tell All Your FriendsGiphy
I thought I was texting my partner, but I accidentally sent my mom this text:
"I love when you make love to me."
She proceeded to tell all of my friends.
24. Boss Move
I once texted my boss: Imma put your whole face in this ramen and you will love me so hard for it."
23. Dad's So Pretty
I almost always send my girl a good morning text, accidentally sent this one to Dad instead:
"Good morning beautiful! I love you and hope you have a wonderful day!"
My dad just responded back:
"I always knew I was pretty."
I didn't send one, but I got one about me. I was on a plane with a group of co-workers, including a husband & wife seated a few rows ahead of me. I was eating a bag of Doritos when I get a text from the wife saying:
**"Is that (me) chomping away on chips back there?!" **
Like she was clearly annoyed with how loudly I was eating. I read it, smirked, and just waited. After a while, I watched her look at her husband wondering why he hadn't reacted to her text. Then she went back into her texts and realized she had sent it to me. We were still waiting to taxi so texts went through with no problem. She realized there was chance it didn't send and that I definitely got it.
Then I watched her ever so slowly set her phone down in her lap and stare silently straight ahead.
21. The Elf-ephant in the room.
My boss accidentally sent me a picture of a sexy elf costume asking if I would wear it. He apologized profusely for it.
20. Thanks, Siri
I was once trying to send my 14 year old daughter a text via Siri and it wouldn't recognize her name every time I said "Text (daughter)." I got annoyed and started cursing Siri out, which of course, Siri understood loud and clear.
She was waiting to be picked up from dance class. Thanks, Siri.
19. Bad DateGiphy
I was on a bad date, so I texted my friend with benefits:
**"This date sucks and I'm about to ditch them ASAP to come over to your place." **
Except I sent it to the person I was on the date with by accident. The date ended fairly quickly at that point.
18. CC Everyone
My buddy and I gchat at work all the time, and one day he was leaving and meant to type to his wife "see you at home, love you xoxo" and he accidentally sent it to me. Now we say "love you xoxo" to each other at the end of every day.
17. Urinal Acoustics
I once texted my boss that I thought the guy next to me in the urinal must have had a huge urethra based on how loud he peed...
16. This Never HappenedGiphy
My girlfriend left a pair of her underwear and had suggested I try them on. I did and sent a funny photo. She didn't respond, so I went to ask if she got it. That's when I saw that I had sent it to my younger brother.
I message back saying:
"Not meant for you, this NEVER happened." __
He replies back:
"This never happened."
It's been like 3 years I think and we've never discussed it, but maybe a few years down the line it'd be funny to bring back up and see if he remembers it.
Me And my girlfriend spent all day playing Pokemon Go in the hot Australian sun. Later, I sent a picture of my sweaty underwear to my girlfriend with the message:
**"Look at that sweat!" **
Turns out I sent it to my Pokemon Go group with more than 70 local people.
14. The Blue SpeedoGiphy
I sent a screenshot of an Amazon page to a client. She's a 58 year old woman from Nigeria.
It was a very small blue Speedo, on a male model.
13. Control, Alt., Delete My Memory
I was sitting on the toilet doing my business when my S.O sent me a text saying
**"How's the poo going?" **
I told him it was going great, so he jokingly asked for a picture. Thinking it would be hilarious I turned around, snapped a pic and hit send. I immediately realized I was actually on another chat with my friend - boyfriends message had just popped up as a notification.
12. 2 Boobs and 7 Chins
I was getting dressed with my phone in my hand. I was bent over to pick up a shirt and bra. My thumb must have been near that pic button in the chat. Next thing I know I've sent a lovely "selfie" and 7 chins to my Dungeons And Dragons group chat. Like awkward front-facing camera nude, not sexy.
This happened 2 days ago, I am still mortified. I can only hope I made someone's day, because I cried.
When I was like 16, I wrote to a friend about liking a girl. Of course I wrote it to her by accident.
I tried to cover it like:
"hahaha, yeah I did that on purpose to freak you out."
I ended up confessing later, but she wasn't interested.
I still cringe.
10. Kill Me Now
My friend cheated on her boyfriend and was trying to make it seem like it only happened one time, so she texted the other boy ...
"If (boyfriend) asks, we only had sex once"
and sent it to her boyfriend...
9. Bluetooth Betrayal
So this was not sent to the wrong person but still received by the wrong person. For the sake of the story, let's say my name is Jorge.:
I was at a college party with my friends. One of my friends sister showed up and we got along great. Friend and his sister drive me home. He is driving, hot sister is in the back seat playing music from her phone. I had gotten her number earlier and things had been getting flirty, so I texted her. Obviously I didn't want my friend/her brother to hear me trying to get with her. I didn't realize her phone would play the text out loud through the car's speakers. The music went silent and her phone goes:
**"Jorge said: Can't wait to get you alone." **
I am there in the front seat mortified because my close friend just heard what I wanted to do to his sister. He had no idea that she and I had even talked that night. Trying to cover with humor, I just look at her and go:
**"hehehehe AWKWAAARRD" **
He sat dead silent looking at the road.
My sister asked for a picture of the engagement ring I was buying for my fiance. Guess who I actually sent that one to.
7. Don't Tell Anyone Mom Killed The Baby Sitter
Sent the mom of the child I was babysitting a text stating that I would rather jump out of their window than continue to watch their kid for the rest of their night. Yeah, not my proudest moment.
I paced back and forth in their house until they got home. Pretended nothing happened and they texted me when I got home confronting me about it. I apologized and never saw them again. Oops.
6. Mom-entary Lapse
When I was sick a few months ago I actually sent my mom a text message asking her to come cuddle and rub my tummy until I felt better. It was meant for my boyfriend at the time. She totally thought that I was just homesick and missing my mom, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
5. Apology RequiredGiphy
Messaged my teammate Chris, he didn't respond, messaged him again in a vulgar way because I thought he was just ignoring me. Turns out there are two people at work with the very same name, and autopopulate picked the wrong one. This guy was a very serious Director. I was a lowly engineer. He was pissed, but I apologized profusely on IM and called him to apologize. I think that combo spared me. Still work there today.
4. Sorry Boss
One time I was a passenger in my mate's car and this segment on the radio played, like "text us your horrible boss stories and be in to win!" I'm sure you can see where this is going. My boss at the time was pretty awful. Didn't give me breaks, over worked me, charged me tax but pocketed it, was 5 weeks behind in my wages, would get drunk in the front by himself while I was in the back cleaning dishes (this was a restaurant). So I put this in a text to the radio station.
I put this in a text to my boss.
I had work that night. Very awkward shift. It's like he wanted to be mad at me, but now he was aware that I knew what he was doing was immoral he didn't want to make it worse...
Not many words were spoken that night.
my best friend had a new boyfriend that I hadn't met or even seen a photo of. We were hanging out and she kept getting snaps from him and it was ruining the movie we were watching. I turned to her and was like "what ya snappin?"
And she said her boyfriend kept sending her funny snap filter photos. Her phone dinged and she was like "oh he just sent one! Wanna see so you know what he looks like?" And it was his penis. So I saw his manhood before his face.
2. Advise this?Giphy
My freshman year roommate accidentally sent his academic advisor a timelapse of himself eating 12 tacos. I don't think I've ever laughed harder than after him yelling across the room, "OH s***! /u/lespaulbro, can I unsend an email???" 12/12, even now it's still funny to taco bout it.
1. Awkward Turtle
School had me swamped so I barely got to see my girlfriend for a while so I sent a mushy text about how she's always on my mind and I love her, accidentally sent it to a casual friend only to find out that she was secretly in love with me... it was a very awkward situation.
Dating and the search for love and companionship... What a nightmare.
This journey plays out nothing like in the movies.
Every Prince or Princess (or everything in BTW) seems to have a touch of the psycho.
The things people say during what should be simple dinner conversation can leave a dining partner aghast.
Like... do you hear you?
Redditor detroit_michigldan wanted to discuss all the best ways to crash and burn when trying to make a romantic connection. They asked:
"You're on a date and it's going really great. What can another person say to ruin it completely?"
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...Wait What Wtf GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
“'You look just like my wife!'”
"That would definitely do it."
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
LiarLying Simon Rex GIF by Simon Rex / Dirt NastyGiphy
"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
Was he lying though?
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
Obvs...just kidding jk GIFGiphy
"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Despite the advancement of technology rendering people left to their own devices–literally–to entertain them, there are some leisurely activities that will never go out of style.
Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"
Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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When we first meet someone–whether through mutual friends, at school, or in a new work setting–we generally feel people out to determine if they're worth getting to know.
While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"
Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
People who put others down get slammed here.
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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Children tend to believe just about anything they hear.
That there are monsters under your bed, watching too much TV will make your head explode, and silly faces will be permanent if you make them too often.
The sky is truly the limit when it comes to silly things that children will believe.
Some call it naivitée, other's youthful innocence.
But it's hard not to look back with embarrassment on certain things we believed as a child, that today might simply seem dumb.
Redditor Disastrous_Toe_6548 was curious to learn the multitude of silly things people believed when they were children, leading them to ask:
"What's the dumbest thing you believed as a kid?"
Pleading to deaf ears...
"My dad told me he had hearing loss and couldn't hear me if I whined because my pitch would get too high."
"Would completely ignore me until I asked him questions in a normal voice."
"Trusted him implicitly until I was 12 and he yelled at my younger brother for whining."- Tyrion_Stark.
Get it while you can.
"That they took everything off the shelves when the supermarket closed."- fgyfddg.venezuela empty shelves GIF by euronewsGiphy
"My grandfather used to tell me that if I played with the fire, I'd pee the bed."
"I believed him for a while, until I got older."
"I think he was just trying to protect me from the fire."- teddypa1981.
"Rain, rain go away..."
"That if it was raining where I was, it was raining everywhere in the world."- morningshartz.
Age is just a number.
"My parents used to seem really old to me, so much so I believed they grew up like cave people as children, wearing giant leaves for clothes and what not."- Laleena_.Hammer Floor GIF by VPROGiphy
So that's how they're made!
"That smokestacks from the power plant created clouds."- Scaniarix.
An instant cure.
"The sun gives you sunburns, therefore, moonlight should heal them."- velocipeter.
Better safe than sorry.
"Don't drink and drive meant all drinks."
"My dad was super confused when I told him he wasn't allowed to have any soda until we got home."- hulagirlslovetoparty.
Don't believe everything you see on TV.
"There was an episode of Mickey Mouse where Mickey couldn’t reach something at first, so he tried again and somehow his arm was long enough to reach it."
"As a small kid I believed that if I couldn’t reach something, I should just try reaching for it again and my arm would then somehow be long enough to reach it."- That-Dutch-Person.love him one piece GIFGiphy
The miracle of childbirth.
"That babies are pooped out."
"When I was like 7 I was listening to my aunt as she explained that childbirth was pretty intense and painful for her, and I was all solemnly like, 'yeah, sometimes just my poops are painful, I don’t think I could get a baby out' and she went 'um, WHAT?' and her reaction made me realize real quick that I had f*cked up somewhere and I tried to change the subject while my mind was just reeling lol."- thesoundingfurrows.
Oh to be a child again.
And to believe literally everything you're told.
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