Embarrassed People Reveal The Worst Accidental Text They Ever Sent Someone
Mis-texts; we've all had it happen and it can sometimes be the stuff of nightmares.
Well, for the people involved anyway. For those of us who get to watch the shenanigans go down, it's the greatest show on earth. The circus ain't got nuthin' on this!
One Reddit user asked: What is the worst text that you accidentally sent to the wrong person?
Want to feel better about your life? At least you're not the dude who sent a picture of his booty-sweat to his Pokemon friends. Unless you are that guy, in which case, Sir we thank you for the greatest belly laugh we've ever had.
You guys ready to do this?
50. The Voice That Rocks The Cradle
GiphyWhile at school I accidentally sent a text to a friend's house phone (landline). I happened to be a passenger in the car behind him and sent a message to him (also a passenger) saying "look behind you, I'm in close pursuit". Apparently when you text landlines a creepy artificial voice attempts to read the text to the recipient when they pick up the phone. His mum on receiving the message locked all the doors and windows and called the police about a potential stalker...
49. Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride(smaid)
Not the text I sent, but one a friend sent me.
Context: Recently got engaged and was visiting my closest friends individually to deliver their "Will you be my bridesmaid?" cards. Most of them took a photo of the card and put it on social media which was fine.
An hour later I get a text from one of my bridesmaids that says, "OMG I can't believe (sheliveslight) made (friend) a bridesmaid!! She'll just sleep around with the groomsmen like she did at the last wedding she was in. EWWW. Is it too late to deny the bridesmaid offer?"
Definitely had a good laugh with my fiancé about it. The bridesmaid apologized profusely after she sent the text (she claims it was meant for her mom to see), and still asks me to not bring it up whenever we're texting or hanging out. Still made her a bridesmaid though.
48. Wrong Mom Syndrome
This might not be the worst, but it happened yesterday so i thought i'd share.
My relationship with my mom is very much about cooking and house related stuff.
My relationship with my MiL is different, a lot more business-orientated, but still good.
Yesterday I sent to my MiL, very excitedly "I've found bread that smells just like the bread you used to make!".
When i got the reply that said "OK?", i knew i sent it to the wrong mom.
I resent the message to my mom, with the mixup i made and she found it extremely amusing.
So yeah. Accidentally sent a warm fuzzy message about bread to the wrong mom.
47. I Kissed A Girl And Seriously Disliked It
I tried to send a text to my boyfriend about how exasperated I was with my boss who had offered me a ride back to the office but was late. Yeah, guess who I actually sent that text to. It was an awkward car ride.
Not sure you'd call it an accident, drunk me definitely knew what she was doing, but I also texted my boyfriend while I was black out drunk to let him know that I was black out drunk and had made out with a chick and she tasted weird and I didn't like it.
46. Oof, And Here's Where We Get Off
GiphyThe year after my husband died, I was dating a guy with whom I had shared some of the horrors of my marriage. He knew I was not a grieving widow. We usually would go out on Tuesday nights because I don't work Wednesday mornings.
On a Monday afternoon, the day before my husband's birthday, I had been texting my BF, when I received a text alert that asked if I wanted to go out Tuesday night to "celebrate."
Thinking this was my BF being funny, I texted back "you mean a bwahaha party?"
The text was from my daughter.
cringe
45. Cringetastic
Probably too late but this is probably the most cringey thing I have ever done... So a couple years ago when I was like 19 I was working in an automotive shop. During slow season I got put on piece work, so this meant that every morning my boss would text me to let me know what time he needed me to come into work that day. Well one morning I woke up to a very depressing message from my super insecure boyfriend at the time. Basically saying that he didn't think he was good enough for me and he felt like I could do better, blah blah blah.
So before I got ready for work, I typed out this extremely long mushy response basically saying all that cheesy bullshit you say when you're trying to convince a person that everything's fine and that you love them and all that stupid shit. Like I'm talking the cheesiest cheese that's ever been cheesed via text message. So I type this long sappy message and send it so I can get ready for work.... only to later find out that I had somehow accidentally sent the message to a nice old Irish gentlemen- aka my fucking boss. I was mortified.
I was relentlessly teased for weeks by the shop full of older men that I worked with. Luckily my boyfriend and I split up 2 months later when I received a nice Facebook message from his ex girlfriend. Among the messages were screenshots of messages from my boyfriend begging for another chance, telling her that he would leave me in a heartbeat for another shot with her. My coworkers stopped teasing me shortly after that haha
44. Select Your Fighter
One time in college I got this girls number and texted her a little bit. That night I had been playing Mortal Kombat with my friend before we went out.
Anyway, that same friend goes home with a girl, and the next day, with a terrible hangover, I send the text "did you engage is sexual kombat with (girls name)"
Waited a while and didn't get a response and to my horror, I see I had accidentally sent it to the girl who's number I had gotten. That was so awkward but also so hilarious.
43. But The Deodorant Tho
This actually happened.
Meant to send it to my friend "AA". His name is right next to my boss "AB" on my phone. This was the first day back from Christmas holidays and I was trying to get a jump on the new year.
Sent this to my boss instead of my friend about my recent breakup:
"In the deodorant section at meijer and so many condoms here. Guess I won't be needing those for a while"
42. Wrong Kind Of Party
i was supposed to bring something to a friend's party and texted, "should i just bring some snacky things?" but instead it auto corrected to, "should i just bring some anally things?" i noticed right away but let it ride. she did not want anal things at this particular party.
41. Booths Are Different Than They Used To Be
GiphySent my husband a text asking if he liked the booty rub...
Only I forgot I had recently messaged my son so I didn't actually send it to my husband.
Luckily autocorrect changed booty to booth. Still it was mortifying. I mean maybe a booth rub is better than a booty rub, but a rub is a rub right?
As my life flashed before my eyes I thought of some detailed explanation on how to save myself the extreme embarrassment of my mistake. I was going to say it should have said bbq rub and I was asking about it to see if he enjoyed dinner. In the end I just apologized and said the message was meant to be for his step dad. My son is 19. I'm sure it grossed him out enough that at least he had the courtesy not to mention it. Thinking about it still makes me cringe though. 😑
40. Creativity Is Overrated, Am I Right Boss?
I was flipping through channels at work looking for a music station, when it started displaying the porn channels. The titles were hilarious, so I texted my boyfriend something like, "Wow, *ss Pounders 3 is on at 2pm, They're not even trying with the titles, just straight to the chase."
Of course, it wasn't my boyfriend but my former boss, who thankfully is very cool. He replied with, "Oh I agree, marketing really could be more creative."
I was still horribly embarrassed for the rest of the day.
39. The Light Threat Of Murder
My cousin was getting married and I stayed at my aunt's place to walk the dogs while she was busy getting ready for the wedding. About 30 minutes into this pet-sitting gig, I noticed that my aunt's goldfish had gone belly-up. My sister and I have terrible senses of humor so I texted her a pic of the dead fish and wrote, "pet sitting is going well, Rueben is next" (Rueben is the name of the dog)
I sent it to my aunt instead of my sister. She never mentioned it which made it worse somehow.
38. SURPRISE! ...Or Not
This is probably gonna get buried but here it goes. I almost ruined my friends surprise 30th birthday party. On the day of his party, we were all gathered in the party room. I was texting him because he felt sad he couldn't hang out with all his friends on his own birthday and he was going to one of his cousins birthday parties. I was kind of comforting him. All this while I was texting a mutual friend about us meeting up. I ended up texting the birthday boy, "I'll meet you out back, we gotta hurry though, he'll be here soon." I covered up by saying, I meant to send that to my bro, who was meeting me "in the backyard" to smoke before my Dad got home.
The birthday boy was still surprised, or at least played it off really well and told me later it seemed suspicious but he didn't think anything of it. Phew!
37. It's Always The Boss On Both Receiving Ends
Off sick from work, my missus and my boss had both texted me in a short space of time to check up on me, I thought I was responding to my missus with;
"honey, it's coming out both ends now, it won't stop coming out :sad face:"
My male boss text back saying "ah sweetie, you'll be alright xx" I felt like dying of embarrassment. Got into the office a few days later and first thing he did was crack up laughing when he saw me, still get stick about it to this day. He at least says he know's I wasn't faking it, as no one would commit that hard.
36. Say It Again, I Dare You
GiphyTo my religious, non-cussing mother: "It's hot as a motherfucker out here."
I immediately realized I sent it to the wrong person and I said, "I'm so sorry that wasn't for you." She said, "It better not be, that was very rude." That was five years ago and sometimes I will say, "Wow it's hot in here..." and she'll say, "How hot is it, lc7926? Hehehe"
35. Dadniel
So this is actually the wife jumping on to tell this story! For about 6months my husband lived apart while he was finishing out a work contract and we were moving to a new home about 200 miles away! While the house was being built we stayed with my parents! Seemed like the best way to save money since the whole thing was just temporary.
Well I was missing the hubby something fierce and decided to try my hand at sexting! I wrote my husband saying "I am just lying in bed using my purple vibrator and thinking of you!" My husband's name is Daniel. Well, two second later from the other room I hear my dad yell "what the hell! What are doing in there?" Yeah, I sent my Dad something meant for my husband Daniel, I came out of the room laughing because what else can you do?
He told me he doesn't want to know what I'm up to and that I better not doing crap like that while I'm his house. I am 30. We both never spoke of it again.
34. Dammit, Diana
I was in the car on the way to the airport with some friends and we were running late. We were about halfway there and on of my friends discovered she forgot her phone. We had turn around 20 minutes to go get it. I texted my girlfriend, "So we're on the way back because DIANA FORGOT HER F*CKING PHONE!"
I texted that to Diana. Many lolz especially because her mom was driving us and I had to say, "Diana, you're going to have a text from me waiting on your phone."
33. Accidentally A Jerk
New job, 8 weeks in and one of the older guys, who actually interviewed me, in the (small, 5 person sitting next to each other) finance team starts asking me some really basic questions about some accounting standards and how he should do something.
Go on our IM system to ask one of the guys (my age I got on with) if the older finance guy was EVEN qualified as an accountant. Took ages to reply, went for lunch and came back to a message from the older guy saying "yes, I am". Immediately got back up and left to contemplate just jumping out of the window.
Over my 4 years there we NEVER spoke about it and acted like it never happened. Safe to say later that day in the pub it got a good laugh from the guy I thought I was sending the message to.
32. I'm In Love With Stacey's Mom
Not sure if this counts but still awful:
I changed my phone and was on my way to back home to get all my numbers back, got some texts from a number that seemed familiar asking me about a movie and just assumed it was my girlfriend because we had been talking about going out to see some marvel movie earlier.
Got out of character super innocent responses to flirting, however, yet, still stupidly confident this was my girlfriend, I figured she was just messing with me as usual and kept going as normal.
Then I get a text from a number I know to be my dad telling me I'm being really inappropriate/taking a joke too far....then I realized I'd been attempting to flirt with my step-mother (just trying to invite me to a family movie thing) for like 30 minutes (and I mean like disgustingly aggressive teenager flirting too), I wanted to disown myself, thank god she didn't take it personally, I was uninvited to the family movie night that week though.
31. Reversed The Digits
GiphyHigh school, stoked about my new cell phone and was getting everyone's number
Text one of my buddies "sup b*tch" because this is how friends talk to each other
Text this girl I had a crush on and was developing a small connection with "hey cutie"
Later, see girl and she is flustered saying "hey, why did you call me that?"
Thinking she is referring to being called cutie and that I may have overstepped my boundaries, I say "ah was that not okay?"
She says "no!"
I'm really taken back by this extreme reaction to being called cutie until later I see that I had texted her "sup b*tch"
After that we had a good laugh about it.
30. Get Ready For Some Level Ten Humiliation
When I was dating my wife at the tail end of college, we were sexting back and forth. I've never really been a sext guy. It seems pointless and silly and if I'm not with you I don't really want to be talking to you. Sexts just seem to go on and on. It's tiring really.
Anyway, my mom had texted me earlier and I'd responded about coming home that weekend.
Back to sexting. I realized that if I started being silly in my sexts my girlfriend would seem to lose interest and the sexts would wrap up. So this time I decided to ask if she was "ready for a level 5 cocknado"
I hadn't realized tho that my mother had texted me a moment before I started typing so I was actually responding to her.
29. To The Other Side
I was actually on the receiving end here.
The morning after a relatively wild night of college binge drinking, I woke up to a barrage of notifications on my phone.
One of these notifications was a text sent just before I woke up. It said "Good morning daddy :)"
Now, for a guy that's usually a great text to get. However, this particular text was from my twin sister.
I just sat there confused and stared at that message. Honestly, I didn't even think it was a mistake at first. I thought there was some critical piece of context that was locked away in my blackout brain, and I kept trying to reason with myself as to why my sister would send that to me.
After about 10 minutes of this, my sister texts me again with "OH F*CK NO THAT WASNT SUPPOSED TO GO TO YOU"
And then the dots connected in my partially functioning brain - that text was meant to go to some dude who was banging my sister.
How and why she accidentally texted me by mistake is beyond me. To be honest, I'm just happy it wasn't a picture message.
28. The Hockey Game Was, In The End, To Blame
I was on the way to a hockey game with my girlfriend. The relationship was running down and we had been fighting all day.
The tickets had been a gift from her, but she angrily suggested that I just take a friend instead.
I figured that was bait, so as much as I would have preferred that option, I said, "but you got these for me, this is part of the gift. There's nobody else I would rather go with than you".
My friend, whom I had been keeping abreast of the situation, suggested that I shouldn't go at all and that it would just make the situation worse. Being a good friend he even offered to pay my way to go to a game another day to make up for it.
He suggested that if I didn't go, we could go catch it at a bar together or something. But he asked that I let him know when I had made up my mind so that he could plan something else.
Smash cut to my girlfriend and I driving to the game. We haven't said a word to each other the entire drive. It. Is. Awkward.
So we parked in our favorite "free" parking spot near the rink downtown, and hailed a cab to go the rest of the way.
Then it dawned on me. Oh crap, I never texted my friend back.
So I hastily texted him, "hey buddy, tonight sucks lol. But I guess I'm in it to win it now, so I'll catch ya another night".
The quiet in the cab somehow went even icier.
Pregnant pause...
"It was me", said my girlfriend.
"What?" I asked.
"You sent that text to me", She said through gritted teeth.
I started laughing. I have to admit.
She couldn't see the humour. I tried to make it a connective moment.
I said, "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. But cosmically, this is funny, right?"
She didn't agree.
We broke up that night at the game.
Thank god.
Note: She's a good person, we just didn't belong together.
27. Two Lauras, No Time
I had an LG enV3 for awhile that would switch recipient when I sent a text in college.
I also had multiple friends named Laura, but they were in different friend circles. One was a young, healthy and active classmate in my core classes. The other was a friend of mine who had been struggling with chronic illness for a long time.
I meant to text one friend "yeah, Laura is in the hospital," to a friend who knew the 2nd Laura. But as I hit sent it instead sent to a classmate who knew the 1st Laura and was close friends with her.
I looked away from my phone for only about 2 minutes but when I came back my phone was blowing up:
"OMG IS SHE OKAY?! DOES [her boyfriend/ now husband] KNOW??? WHAT HOSPITAL? ARE YOU GOING? CAN YOU PICK ME UP I'LL GET MY SHOES ON!"
I called that friend immediately and calmed them down to explain the situation.
But I learned two things:
a) that is a really solid friend.
b) I am so damn lucky that's the worst mix-up I had with that phone before I turned it back in to Verizon.
26. Definitely Need Some Of That Scotch
Hey, I got a story for this. Kinda long, but what else are you doing right now?
I have a close friend/co-worker (we'll call him Joe). One day I gave Joe a ride home from work. I was trying to tell him about this Scotch I like, but I couldn't remember the name of it. So, when I got home, I sent him a picture of the (empty) bottle. The next night I get a reply that just says "who is this?"
So this is where a smart person would say who they are and confirm who they were talking to. I, however, am not a smart man. I had just left Joe at a bar, and for some reason I assumed that he just didn't have my number saved and/or was drunk. So I texted him "I smoke crack in your nightmares," which was a reference to an actual nightmare that a mutual friend had told Joe and I about. A few minutes later, I got a response that said "WHO IS THIS?"
Again, this is where a smart person might notice something is amiss. I, however, did not. Instead of wondering if I had the right number, I decided to tell him "check your chip-chafed buttcrack." This was another inside joke, referring to something that had happened at work that day. I get another text that says "WHO THE F@*K IS THIS!?"
So at this point, I decide Joe is too drunk to understand these references. I tell him "Jeez, this is just sad now. It's Brakalicious." The response: "I DON'T KNOW A BRAKALICIOUS, WHO IS THIS?"
Finally, I started to catch on. I asked, "is this not Joe?" They said, "NO IT'S NOT AND YOU'RE SCARING THE HELL OUT OF MY SON!"
Apparently I had been texting a child. Let me quickly recap what I had sent:
- A picture of an empty bottle of Scotch.
- "I smoke crack in your nightmares."
- "Check your chip-chafed buttcrack."
I know I'm not smart, but stuff like this makes me worry that I'm full-blown stupid. Be careful out there, you guys.
25. Tell All Your Friends
GiphyI thought I was texting my partner, but I accidentally sent my mom this text:
"I love when you make love to me."
She proceeded to tell all of my friends.
24. Boss Move
I once texted my boss: Imma put your whole face in this ramen and you will love me so hard for it."
23. Dad's So Pretty
I almost always send my girl a good morning text, accidentally sent this one to Dad instead:
"Good morning beautiful! I love you and hope you have a wonderful day!"
My dad just responded back:
"I always knew I was pretty."
22. Chomping
GiphyI didn't send one, but I got one about me. I was on a plane with a group of co-workers, including a husband & wife seated a few rows ahead of me. I was eating a bag of Doritos when I get a text from the wife saying:
**"Is that (me) chomping away on chips back there?!" **
Like she was clearly annoyed with how loudly I was eating. I read it, smirked, and just waited. After a while, I watched her look at her husband wondering why he hadn't reacted to her text. Then she went back into her texts and realized she had sent it to me. We were still waiting to taxi so texts went through with no problem. She realized there was chance it didn't send and that I definitely got it.
Then I watched her ever so slowly set her phone down in her lap and stare silently straight ahead.
21. The Elf-ephant in the room.
My boss accidentally sent me a picture of a sexy elf costume asking if I would wear it. He apologized profusely for it.
20. Thanks, Siri
I was once trying to send my 14 year old daughter a text via Siri and it wouldn't recognize her name every time I said "Text (daughter)." I got annoyed and started cursing Siri out, which of course, Siri understood loud and clear.
She was waiting to be picked up from dance class. Thanks, Siri.
19. Bad Date
GiphyI was on a bad date, so I texted my friend with benefits:
**"This date sucks and I'm about to ditch them ASAP to come over to your place." **
Except I sent it to the person I was on the date with by accident. The date ended fairly quickly at that point.
18. CC Everyone
My buddy and I gchat at work all the time, and one day he was leaving and meant to type to his wife "see you at home, love you xoxo" and he accidentally sent it to me. Now we say "love you xoxo" to each other at the end of every day.
17. Urinal Acoustics
I once texted my boss that I thought the guy next to me in the urinal must have had a huge urethra based on how loud he peed...
16. This Never Happened
GiphyMy girlfriend left a pair of her underwear and had suggested I try them on. I did and sent a funny photo. She didn't respond, so I went to ask if she got it. That's when I saw that I had sent it to my younger brother.
I message back saying:
"Not meant for you, this NEVER happened." __
He replies back:
"This never happened."
It's been like 3 years I think and we've never discussed it, but maybe a few years down the line it'd be funny to bring back up and see if he remembers it.
15. Poke-Sweat
Me And my girlfriend spent all day playing Pokemon Go in the hot Australian sun. Later, I sent a picture of my sweaty underwear to my girlfriend with the message:
**"Look at that sweat!" **
Turns out I sent it to my Pokemon Go group with more than 70 local people.
14. The Blue Speedo
GiphyI sent a screenshot of an Amazon page to a client. She's a 58 year old woman from Nigeria.
It was a very small blue Speedo, on a male model.
13. Control, Alt., Delete My Memory
I was sitting on the toilet doing my business when my S.O sent me a text saying
**"How's the poo going?" **
I told him it was going great, so he jokingly asked for a picture. Thinking it would be hilarious I turned around, snapped a pic and hit send. I immediately realized I was actually on another chat with my friend - boyfriends message had just popped up as a notification.
12. 2 Boobs and 7 Chins
I was getting dressed with my phone in my hand. I was bent over to pick up a shirt and bra. My thumb must have been near that pic button in the chat. Next thing I know I've sent a lovely "selfie" and 7 chins to my Dungeons And Dragons group chat. Like awkward front-facing camera nude, not sexy.
This happened 2 days ago, I am still mortified. I can only hope I made someone's day, because I cried.
11. Cringeworthy
GiphyWhen I was like 16, I wrote to a friend about liking a girl. Of course I wrote it to her by accident.
I tried to cover it like:
"hahaha, yeah I did that on purpose to freak you out."
I ended up confessing later, but she wasn't interested.
I still cringe.
10. Kill Me Now
My friend cheated on her boyfriend and was trying to make it seem like it only happened one time, so she texted the other boy ...
"If (boyfriend) asks, we only had sex once"
and sent it to her boyfriend...
9. Bluetooth Betrayal
So this was not sent to the wrong person but still received by the wrong person. For the sake of the story, let's say my name is Jorge.:
I was at a college party with my friends. One of my friends sister showed up and we got along great. Friend and his sister drive me home. He is driving, hot sister is in the back seat playing music from her phone. I had gotten her number earlier and things had been getting flirty, so I texted her. Obviously I didn't want my friend/her brother to hear me trying to get with her. I didn't realize her phone would play the text out loud through the car's speakers. The music went silent and her phone goes:
**"Jorge said: Can't wait to get you alone." **
I am there in the front seat mortified because my close friend just heard what I wanted to do to his sister. He had no idea that she and I had even talked that night. Trying to cover with humor, I just look at her and go:
**"hehehehe AWKWAAARRD" **
He sat dead silent looking at the road.
8. Ringer
GiphyMy sister asked for a picture of the engagement ring I was buying for my fiance. Guess who I actually sent that one to.
7. Don't Tell Anyone Mom Killed The Baby Sitter
Sent the mom of the child I was babysitting a text stating that I would rather jump out of their window than continue to watch their kid for the rest of their night. Yeah, not my proudest moment.
I paced back and forth in their house until they got home. Pretended nothing happened and they texted me when I got home confronting me about it. I apologized and never saw them again. Oops.
6. Mom-entary Lapse
When I was sick a few months ago I actually sent my mom a text message asking her to come cuddle and rub my tummy until I felt better. It was meant for my boyfriend at the time. She totally thought that I was just homesick and missing my mom, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
5. Apology Required
GiphyMessaged my teammate Chris, he didn't respond, messaged him again in a vulgar way because I thought he was just ignoring me. Turns out there are two people at work with the very same name, and autopopulate picked the wrong one. This guy was a very serious Director. I was a lowly engineer. He was pissed, but I apologized profusely on IM and called him to apologize. I think that combo spared me. Still work there today.
4. Sorry Boss
One time I was a passenger in my mate's car and this segment on the radio played, like "text us your horrible boss stories and be in to win!" I'm sure you can see where this is going. My boss at the time was pretty awful. Didn't give me breaks, over worked me, charged me tax but pocketed it, was 5 weeks behind in my wages, would get drunk in the front by himself while I was in the back cleaning dishes (this was a restaurant). So I put this in a text to the radio station.
I wish.
I put this in a text to my boss.
I had work that night. Very awkward shift. It's like he wanted to be mad at me, but now he was aware that I knew what he was doing was immoral he didn't want to make it worse...
Not many words were spoken that night.
3. Snapshot
my best friend had a new boyfriend that I hadn't met or even seen a photo of. We were hanging out and she kept getting snaps from him and it was ruining the movie we were watching. I turned to her and was like "what ya snappin?"
And she said her boyfriend kept sending her funny snap filter photos. Her phone dinged and she was like "oh he just sent one! Wanna see so you know what he looks like?" And it was his penis. So I saw his manhood before his face.
2. Advise this?
GiphyMy freshman year roommate accidentally sent his academic advisor a timelapse of himself eating 12 tacos. I don't think I've ever laughed harder than after him yelling across the room, "OH s***! /u/lespaulbro, can I unsend an email???" 12/12, even now it's still funny to taco bout it.
1. Awkward Turtle
School had me swamped so I barely got to see my girlfriend for a while so I sent a mushy text about how she's always on my mind and I love her, accidentally sent it to a casual friend only to find out that she was secretly in love with me... it was a very awkward situation.
Everyone has a different relationship with hygiene.
While some people wash their hands every time they enter a new room, and never leave home without a bottle of hand sanitizer, others might not care where their hands have been as they bust open a bag of chips.
However, one thing that both parties have in common is that over time, they might have developed certain practices related to their own personal hygiene that are unique to them.
Helping them either make sure their hands, teeth, and body are as clean as can possibly be or help them get things done as speedily, if not as effectively, as possible.
"What is the peculiar hygiene habit that you've developed?"
So Nothing Gets Overlooked
"When I shower I slowly rotate in a circle like some type of vertical rotisserie chicken."- RootsRoots55
To Help It Come Out... Maybe?...
"When I sit down to poo, I sort of sit in a way that spreads my cheeks as much as possible."- Myzx
Clean Before You Clean
"I wash my hands in the shower before I touch my face."- plasticIove
Happy Wash Hands GIF by Mecklenburg CountyGiphySurprisingly Overlooked
"I spend an extra minute in every shower making sure I thoroughly clean my feet."
"Not weird to clean feet."
"But definitely weird to remind myself every day 'gotta wash them trotters'."- ingoodtime23
Don't Overlook The Hard To Reach Places
"I see a lot of elderly people in the hospital.'
"99% have toenail fungus."
"I keep anti-fungal shampoo in the shower next to a toothbrush and scrub my nails and in-between my toes every morning."- Resilient_bookworm
Nothing Says You Can't Have Fun In The Shower...
"More of a fun one, but related to hygiene."
"When in the shower, and I'm lathering up my body with my soap/shower gel, I ensure a nice seal between my arm and body."
"Then I keep my fingertips against my hip and extend my elbow, creating a huge bubble in the gap between my arm and body."
"Then I blow it to see how big a bubble I can blow before it pops."
"Yes I'm a 35 year old man."- Angry_Cornflake
Extra, Extra Dry
"Squeegee myself with my hands in the shower to get most of the water off before I towel dry."- clydeswitch
Wash Up After Cleaning
"After using a sponge or cloth from the kitchen sink, I wash my hands with soap."
"These things are just nasty, imo."- knuckleduster12
A Few Steps Ahead
"Taking showers in the middle of the night."
"I have insomnia and one night I decided, what the hell, I need to shower when I get up anyways, so I'll get it out of the way now."
"Maybe it's placebo, but as soon as I got out of the shower and got into bed I slept like a baby."
"Now if I can't fall asleep or wake up in the middle of the night I'll go take a shower instead of laying in bed trying to force myself to fall asleep."- SunnySilver8
Relaxing Homer Simpson GIFGiphyBeware The Excess Spray
"I try to close the toilet seat lid before flushing because I saw a video once where green 'bacteria' gets shot out of the toilet."- LrckLacroix
Their Expert Hiders
"Full body tick check before bed every night."
"I spend a lot of time in the bush and lyme sucks."- cat_named_virtue
The Proof Is In The Pudding... Flavored Toothpaste
"My friends think it's weird that I time myself brushing my teeth so that I brush for the full 2 minutes."
"Joke's on them though, I have the nicest teeth in the friend group."- selloboy
Brush Colgate GIFGiphy...Seems Kind Of Dangerous...
"I like to shower in complete darkness."
"Turn off the lights, block the bottom of the bathroom door with a towel or my clothes if I have to, maybe put some music on if I'm in the mood, and just have a nice, long, hot shower."
"It's incredibly relaxing, almost like a little nap with how warm it is and all the darkness."- Adventurous-Till2924
Should That Even Matter?
"As a straight guy, washing my a**, apparently."- fromkentucky
It Can Get Out Of Control
"I trim my armpit hair every time I trim my beard."
"It’s like a buzz-cut under there."
"Deodorant is more effective that way."-
One would like to think that everyone follows the most basic rules of personal hygiene without needing to be reminded.
At the end of the day though, what's important is doing whatever puts your mind at rest that you are as clean as it possibly can be.
Still... How can you really tell how clean you are if you shower in the dark?
I have seen many a scary movie.
A horror movie done right can haunt you forever.
Have you seen "The Exorcist?"
Good Lord.
I don't know if I'm ready for the new sequel.
I love to be a little frightened by a movie.
But haunted for life is a different story.
Plus, I can't sleep with the lights on...
Redditor Specialist-Crazy1466 wanted to hear which movies we still see in our nightmares, so they asked:
"What is the scariest movie you ever watched?"
Some scary movies give me heart palpitations.
So I try to be picky about the stories I watch.
The Balance
the descent horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy"The Descent. Horrible monsters mixed with darkness and claustrophobia makes a scary movie."
itsminimal
"I was looking for this movie. Imo this film is the perfect balance between bloody, physical horror and actual psychological terror."
AkiraN19
Too Much
"White Noise. Wasn't scary when I watched it in the theater but became VERY scary when my car stereo only picked up static the whole ride home."
stfupcakes
"Oh damn, that was so good. I worked at a video store in ~1996 or so, and a coworker put it on. I was mesmerized. I later took it home and watched it in the dark, as you should, and damn. That's a masterpiece."
Far_Blueberry_2375
"Took my high school girlfriend to it, and she was in tears she was so scared. Almost 20 years later, and she still freaks out if I bring it up."
Prp076
Chilling
"The Day After... I watched it when I was a kid and it absolutely terrified me. When it originally aired, ABC had to set up a phone hotline with counselors standing by. It's one of the scariest depictions of nuclear war in film in my opinion. Chilling."
scarletmanuka
"I've been thinking about these movies, and how unrealistic they are. We all just survived a pandemic. What happened? Things were bad, tent hospital, turned away, truck morgues. And people just... learned to bake bread. Made music."
"Gave up offices and started doing things for their neighbors. Nuclear war would be obviously, a horrific shitshow and not to be entertained, but I really believe, we'd come together and make a good world after. It wouldn't be the complete collapse of our humanity, and the rest can be rebuilt."
Cheap_Doctor_1994
The Splatter
"The Grudge. I don't know why, but this f**king thing is so scary. I had to pause it. Never had this before. Even the worst splatter is nothing for me, but this... No."
Yggdrafenrir20
"It was when the lady got sucked into the bed when she was hiding under the covers. Like they took away my only defense in the dark as a kid."
Colossus245
"I had the same reaction. Something about it just made my skin crawl in a way that other similar movies like The Ring didn't. For several years afterward whenever I had a nightmare, the grudge lady was somehow involved. Yugh."
JonEleven
Turn it Off
Happy Got You GIF by BounceGiphy"There are definitely better movies, but Sinister has always scared the crap out of me. It took me 2 tries to watch it. It’s the only movie I’ve ever turned off from being so scared."
Cobonmycorn
Never saw Sinister.
And now I know to skip it.
My nightmares are bad enough.
"The Thing. My first viewing was at night, and I was maybe 5 or 6. It scared me so bad I only watched subsequent viewings during the day until I matured a little more."
Same-Reaction7944
Never Again
“'The Ring' when I was 9 or 10, that was scary."
DelusionalGorilla
"I saw it in my 30s, on pain meds for kidney stones, while my wife and kids were away. The thing that freaked me out the most was that in the middle-end of the film someone called me from an unknown number and hung up."
EnIdiot
"It's the only movie I absolutely refuse to watch ever again. I saw it ONCE as a kid and I'm 30 now. I still have occasional nightmares about it. Sometimes I'll be eating and this movie will pop into my head for NO REASON and I lose my appetite completely. I'm haunted by it."
guiltyonallcharges
Too Much too Handle
"Event Horizon... or maybe Pandorum."
Nulltan
"Worth noting Event Horizon is one of the most famous cases in the lost media community. It had 30 minute cut for being too grim for the test audiences. 30. Minutes. While some scenes did make their way to the 2006 DVD, most of it is considered most likely lost for good barring some miraculous surprise discovery."
"You can read about what was cut at the Lost Media Wiki here: https://lostmediawiki.com/Event_Horizon_(partially_lost_unreleased_130-minute_cut_of_sci-fi_horror_film;_1997)"
Lights On
"The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I kept waking up at 3 am on the money for weeks afterward. Didn’t help that I found and listened to the original tape-recorded material of her speaking fluidly in different languages while being exorcised."
Opening-Ad-3775
"This is it for me. I watched it in theaters when my boyfriend was out of town. I went home and slept with the lights on. I love scary movies and had never done that before or since. I’m going to have to look for those tapes!"
LostintheLand
Wobbled
kathy bates misery GIFGiphy"Misery. My knees were wobbling when I walked out of the theatre. No more Stephen King for me."
suzymwg
"I watched that while dealing with a stalker. Horrible choice."
sethro919
I love scary movies, but some of these sound like a step too far.
Misery still haunts me.
We all want to believe we are perfectly safe, but the fact is, the world can be a scary and dangerous place sometimes.
For the most part, we can protect ourselves, but sometimes we end up in dangerous situations through no fault of own (or anyone else's).
Redditors are no strangers to situations like these. In fact, some of them have been in actual near-death situations, and they are ready to share those stories.
It all started when a Redditorasked:
"When have you ever feared for your life? Why?"
Fight The Ocean
"When I got caught in a riptide while stupidly swimming alone in the ocean."
– ItAllDepends99
"My brother saved someone this way, and he never forgot it! He almost drowned too because she was fighting so hard and pulling him under. Another guy had to come help get her out because the current was so strong, but they made it."
– sordidcandles
"I just started working as an ocular recovery technician and live in a beach town. My first case was a 26 year old man who drowned off the beach. I don’t know if he was a tourist or a local, but as a local I grew up being constantly lectured on water safety and how to get out of a riptide. It broke my heart looking at him in the morgue and thinking about how scary his last moments must have been. Water is not something to play with."
– maddicatdog
Living Roadblock
"Ex was driving and a moose walked out in front of the car."
– IjsKind
"Moose are no joke. Every person I know who's been in an accident with a moose have their entire care totaled and the moose just walks away like nothing happened."
– bobbi21
Just Breathe
"Woke up in the throes of a severe asthma attack. Clocked my pulse at 227. As I was digging for my inhaler, I kept thinking what a stupid way to die this would be."
– BuddleiaGirl
"I’m in the hospital on day 3 with my 10-year-old who is recovering from a severe asthma attack. It’s incredibly scary. The crazy thing is, he has not had any issues with asthma since he was 3. His pediatrician told me he outgrew it (he was born with juvenile asthma). Unfortunately, he did not, as the pulmonologist said it can go dormant, may never reoccur in your life but never truly goes away. My son had the perfect storm of triggers, and here we are. We’ll now have an aggressive asthma attack plan for him but damn this was incredibly scary. Like top ten level fear thinking he could not make it."
– HideousYouAre
She Was Mad!
"Wasn't the only time or most frightening time, but the most memorable was when I was a teenager and got pinned to a wall by an extremely agitated cow. She'd knocked her water bucket apart and I was replacing it and she charged me. I just happened to fit exactly in between the horns. I do mean exactly - I had matching bruises on each side like I'd been hit twice with a length of pipe. She hit hard enough to drive her points a couple inches into the wall and stick. I've been in car accidents, fallen off things, been in fights and even had a young tree fall on me. None of that compares. Felt like being caught by a huge wave."
"Anyway I bonked her as hard as I could on the forehead and bolted out the door when she pulled her head back. The whole thing took maybe two seconds tops. Best part? My parents were right outside, they thought I'd just been killed. The wall was solid for the first 4ft, then 2in gaps between 2x8 boards for the rest. They saw the whole thing but couldn't see me below my shoulders - just the charge, the catch, and the wall crack from the impact and the horns pushing through."
– Iamtheonewhobawks
Shaking Earth
"7.2 Earthquake in Japan made the apartment I was in wobble like Jello. Tried to stand up in my chair and walk away from the window, ended up crawling away and having a small bookcase spill my books on me."
"Spent a few seconds leaning against the inside wall/sliding closet, looking at the ceiling and having a very vivid picture of being crushed to death by collapsing concrete and debris."
"Slept outside for two nights after evecuating. Apartment did not even have a crack in it! 10/10 would recommend Japanese government housing."
– kaidenka
A Surprise Drop
"I was minding my own business walking in like 2 ft of water at a beach, holding my toddler. There was a massive clay pit that had opened up in the shallow water, but the water was murky so i didnt see it. I slid into it and the water was just deep enough to be over my head, because I couldn't stand up due to how slimy it was. It was shaped like a bowl. I couldn't swim up because my feet were just sliding into muck and it felt like an undertow. Just when I started breathing in water, my knee hit a rock in the side of the pit so I put my foot on it and launched us up. The lifeguards didn't do anything even after someone called us an ambulance to make sure we didn't dry drown.. We were under for maybe 20 seconds."
– BackgroundAd7040
A Scary Walk Home
"So I was 14, walking home from the bus stop, as I did every day. It was about a mile from the bus stop to my house. I’d walk home about halfway with a friend of mine, before he turned off to go home. About 2 blocks from our bus stop, a guy started walking along with us.
"This was in a major city, so it wasn’t the first time someone started randomly talking to us. What was weird was that he wasn’t crazy or weird. He was pretty normal. He was asking about our lives, asking about what was going on. Randomly he asked about what we’d been up to the last Friday night. We both said about the same thing, that we’d been home with our families, which was true. Even though he didn’t sound crazy, this guy was giving bad vibes. Something was off."
"We got to the turnoff point where my buddy would go to his house, he said goodbye, and left to go home. By the way, I don’t blame him for doing this, regardless of what happened next. So this guy keeps walking with me, bad vibes continue, but he hasn’t said anything directly threatening yet. We get to a cross street, and he says, “Don’t run, my boys are right across the street.” Then I look and realize about 4 guys are following directly across the street. And that’s when it all sinks in. The bad vibes are real."
"I could tried to run at this point. I had a friend who only lived a block away. But I decided not to. Maybe I just thought it was pointless. I kept talking to him."
"We talked for a while more as we walked, and he told me that his brother had been stabbed around where my bus was let off a few days before, and I fit the description. He said he’d gotten out of the life, but was back to avenge his brother. I told him that it wasn’t me. He asked me if I was taking drugs. I said I’d f*cked around with pot but nothing more. He believed me. We kept walking."
"Eventually he started talking about why he’d gotten out of the life, and that I needed to stay on the right path. Eventually, we got back to my house. He said that he was glad he talked to me, because initially he was just going to shoot me and walk away, but he believed me and was glad he hadn’t. He waved his boys away, who were down the block. The he left, and wished me the best. I told my parents, reported it to the cops, didn’t sleep for a few nights, and eventually moved on. But yeah I almost died right there."
– NiteOwl2020
A Shock To The System
"Got shocked the other day. Work in the solar industry, I thought I was having a heart attack and that this was it"
– ryanjbanning
Bond. James Bond.
"Playing an outdoor game we called 007 at age 11 where you get dropped off a distance away from a home base and you have to sneak back in the dark without being spotted by your driver, who would call you out if they saw you while driving around the neighborhood. Me and a friend were sneaking through irrigation canals to be off main roads (not through people’s properties, those were fenced off) and someone who’s backyard we were sneaking past cocked a shotgun and fired a warning shot into the ground of his yard. We crawled on our stomachs in the canal until we were far enough away. Pretty scary at 11."
– SolarisIX
"What the hell is wrong with people and immediately shooting at things that move in the dark?"
– dewky
Noises In The Basement
"I have a more light-hearted one. I heard strange noises from my basement and though someone broke in. My heart was racing and I didn't know what to do. I kept listening down the stairs at the noise and decided it wasn't human. Turns out a woodpecker came down the flue and out the access hatch and was flying around. I managed to shoo him out the door and breathed a sigh of relief."
– SpecterCody
"I am terrified of birds so this would have been a lose-lose situation for me."
– Oohwsh*twaddup
Metal Death Trap!
"I hydroplaned when someone break checked me, and ended up in a ditch, I was fine my car was fine, my heart rate was goin insane."
– Crimate_Change
"This is like medical-related, not a situation like in most other replies. So basically, one day 2 years ago I started noticing some really odd symptoms I had that resembled a UTI (which I had never had before), but I kind of had this gut feeling it was more than that, even though the symptoms were subtle so I told my parents immediately."
"I woke up the next morning at 5am, with this sharp pain in my bottom right side. Oh, maybe it's a cramp. I use the bathroom and try to get back to sleep, but this pain starts growing, sooo much it feels like a stabbing pressure. I toss onto my side. The pain is still fully there. I go on my stomach. Still fully there. I sit up, walk around, do any position possible, and the pain is only getting worse and at this point, like 15 minutes after I woke up, unbearable."
"I have no idea what's going on and I'm scared out of my mind, so I tell my parents. Our first guess is appendicitis. So my mom rushes me to the ER, and on the car ride there I'm writhing in pain, crying, no matter how I sit or how I press my side the pain just continues to escalate."
"I get to the ER and they don't take me right away, and in the waiting room I'm throwing up into a bag from the pain and apologizing to a couple next to me in between bouts of dry heaving/vomit. I'm finally taken in, and they take me to get an ultrasound like 10 minutes later, but I can't stay still when the technician is taking it because of the pain."
"I eventually stop even attempting to cooperate and demand pain medicine, and when it's put into my IV I took like 10 minutes to lay there and breathe and feel better, it felt so nice to not be in extreme pain."
"Anyways, I had a kidney stone. A tiny little kidney stone made me think I was dying and was genuinely the most painful thing I've experienced in my life. I remember asking my mom on the car ride over if I was dying, because we had no idea what it was and why it was only getting worse. It's a genetic thing for me, but if you're reading this, drink water."
– kglove34
Well, I'm definitely going to hydrate all the time now!
People are required to have a license to drive, fish, and have certain jobs.
So it boggles my mind that people aren't required to have a license to have kids.
Some of the cruelest and most vicious things I've ever heard were words uttered by a parent to a child.
As an adult, I was haunted by a few thigs.
I can't imagine the scaring of an adolescent.
Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.