Embarrassed People Share Their 'He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He' Stories
[rebelmouse-image 18348562 is_animated_gif=Being aware of your surroundings is important, especially if you live in a big city. A stray delivery bike or a disturbed pigeon can run into you and knock you on your keister, and no one wants that. However, social interactions also call for an awareness of who's around you and what kind of story you're telling. Otherwise, you're caught in one of those moments you wish you could escape but never do.
Reddit user, r/AmAllergicToGold, wanted to know your most socially awkward moments when they asked:
What's your "he's right behind me, isn't he?" story?
Silent, But Deadly
[rebelmouse-image 18348563 is_animated_gif=My grandfather has the ability to walk silently like can creep on you like no other. Additionally, he doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish. So, to show his love, he generally just walks over, taps you on the shoulder, "ah, my boy"
This particular time, It was me and all my siblings playing some video game. I was inches from the tv as we were playing if you die its the next person's turn. Grandpa sneaks right up on me. His hand inches from my shoulder. I just drop a bomb and rip on the loudest farts I've had to date. A lot of cheetos and dr pepper in those days.
He pauses, removes his hand and stealth walks away. I didn't even know that happened until he left and all my siblings burst into laughter.
Shame.
Maybe Buy The Censored Version From Now On
[rebelmouse-image 18348564 is_animated_gif=I'm a computer tech. At my old job, all of the techs sat in this one room with our own desks, to work on computers. My friend Caleb and I were working on a machine together. We had music playing (Bonfire by Childish Gambino). The lyrics were "Move white girls like there's coke up my a--crack Move black girls cause, man"
The big boss for the whole department happened to be behind us.
Awkward.
Please Move
[rebelmouse-image 18348566 is_animated_gif=Talking to my friend about the hot TA in a tutorial and giggling like teenagers.
Obviously he was right behind us and to our embarrassment he asked my friend to move to another table.
Mommy Talks, Player Walks
[rebelmouse-image 18348567 is_animated_gif=This is a "he's sitting right beside me" story.
There was this kid on my high school baseball team that was incredibly annoying. He always complained about everything, his mom talked to the coach too often about getting more playing time. He just wasn't a good athlete. Well, one day my teammates and I were all sitting on the bench in the dugout and the kid was walking over to sit down on the bench next to us. Something happened, I got distracted (foul ball or something), and I lost sight of the annoying kid. I leaned over to who I thought was my friend and said "Don't let (his name) sit next to us." Turns out my friend was sitting on the opposite side of me and I had just said that directly to his face.
He got pissed, said "REALLY?!", got up and walked away.
I don't feel bad about it at all. He was obnoxious.
The Ugliest Fight
[rebelmouse-image 18348568 is_animated_gif=When I was in college I was cooking in the dorm kitchen with a friend. He asked if I was going to be living with the same person next year. My response was, "Oh god no. She's terrible. All she does all day is sit in the dark watching CMT with her crazy racist boyfriend. I can't wait to never see her again."
She had been standing on the other side of the wall (probably spying on me because she did that sometimes) and heard the entire conversation.
We had a really ugly fight after that.
Ready, Friend B?
[rebelmouse-image 18348569 is_animated_gif=At bar trivia one night, two of my friends got into a heated debate over Ready Player One, my female friend said it was Gary Stu wish fulfillment garbage with little to no literary merit. My male friend, who is a huge dork in his mid 20s and has a degree in English, was arguing the other side. After we left, I said to a third friend "I love Friend B, but I think he may be a little biased because he's the target demographic of the book." He was standing directly behind me.
I also know he has a Reddit account, so he may end up right behind me again on this one, lol.
Trapped Between A Rock And A Hard Place
[rebelmouse-image 18348570 is_animated_gif=I have one. Our production manager was quitting (given her 2 weeks notice) and was seriously going off about the owner of the company.
Me and one other girl were in the printer room while said project manager was training us on some new machinery. She just went off about how "insert owner" was a selfish ahole and how he cares about no one but himself and that he is the reason she is leaving. She lists off every variation of insults pertaining to him while we stand there awkwardly. I glance back and guess who is standing directly behind me. Yep...the owner
Funny thing is, he is actually really nice and I have no idea why she hated him so much. That episode was never brought up again. But I'll be damned if I wasn't sweating bullets. What an awkward position to put your staff in.
But It Wasn't About YOUR Service
[rebelmouse-image 18348571 is_animated_gif=Sorta fitting...
It usually comes up when I am at a restaurant and I feel like the service is pretty awesome. Then I share with my friend a time when it was awful somewhere else only for the server to show up at some perfect time where it probably sounds like I am b--ching about them.
I want to burst out with "I'm not talking about you!" because I'm not talking about them. At the same time I don't because chances are they didn't hear sh-t.
I usually end up leaving a bigger tip than normal out of embarrassment.
You Might Be A...
[rebelmouse-image 18348573 is_animated_gif=I was at a water park with some friends, and I saw this guy with the word "REDNECK" tattooed across his back, I started making snide comments about him. Later on in the day I said to my friends "hey maybe I should get 'HUGE IDIOT' tattooed across my back like that one idiot we saw earlier, I mean seriously who gets 'REDN-" I got cutoff by someone tapping my shoulder. I turn around and it's the guy with the redneck tattoo, let me tell you I've never been more scared of getting my ass kicked than I was right at that second.
I'm not sure if he knew I was talking about him or not but all he did was to ask me what time it was (I had a watch on) and then he walked away. I learned my lesson about talking crap about people I don't know.
When The Whole Class Gets Involved...
[rebelmouse-image 18348574 is_animated_gif=We had an important presentation in design school, it was worth a large part of our grade. This one was important enough that some dressed up and brought guests. We had almost the entire same classes for two years with the same members. There were three guys who's work was not on pace with the class. While we would point out strengths and weaknesses, it was best to try to make positive comments. One guy presented a turd that he'd pulled out of his ass just the night before. It was a point of sale display for a spiderman comic book, but it was obviously a used pizza box, spray painted gold, with sharpy spiderwebs. He then tried to distract by showing off the book and geeking out on spiderman.
After class several of us were gathered discussing it. One guy brought up how Ace had really sh-t the bed and how if he had turned in something so bad he would show his face again. Room freezes as we point out that the guy was back to back with Ace. They were so close that their chairs were touching. Our group goes silent as does his table. There is a long moment where there is a huge tense silence. Another guy at our table had brought his girlfriend pipes up,"What? What? What? Why isn't anyone saying anything? Are you talking about Spiderman guy? The one with pizza on the inside of his thing and had all those bad drawings?" She then started quoting him and doing an impression. When I tried to quiet her down she wasn't having it, even though she figured out he was inches away.
Eventually a conversation started and people tried to move on. Then Ace gets up red face, obvious that he was trying not to cry and heads out of the room.
Wonder What The Pattern Was...
[rebelmouse-image 18348575 is_animated_gif=I was the guy who was right behind.
I used to teach 8th grade and it was cold in the mornings so I wore a thick sweater. I thought it was a nice sweater.
One morning way before class, I walked into the Library, said hi to Emily (one of my students) and her friend as we walked by each other. I passed them and immediately turned around because I forgot something.
I plainly heard Emily say, "See! THATS the ugly sweater." When they turned around to see me.... I was right behind them. They shrieked and took off running!
Later, Emily apologized - but I never wore that sweater again to school and a couple years later I dropped it off at a GoodWill.
Might Pick Better Adjectives
[rebelmouse-image 18348576 is_animated_gif=Working at our office. Head out to the warehouse and start talking to coworker. We have two Nick's who work for the company. Mostly they go by and answer to "Warehouse Nick" and "Office Nick". Me and this particular coworker occasionally refer to them based on their relative size...
I don't remember the question, but my response was "I think Nick went to go get them." He asked, "Skinny Nick?" I replied without thinking. "No, Fat Nick."
He had just walked in the warehouse behind me. Luckily he laughed it off and didn't call HR.
The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
[rebelmouse-image 18348577 is_animated_gif=This one happened when I was a child, and it still makes me cringe to think about:
My younger brother and I used to have a sitter stay with us from the time we got home from school until our parents got home, as both parents worked. For some reason, brother and I really did not care for this woman. Looking back, there was nothing wrong with her, but I think we were both getting to that "we're too old for a sitter" age, so no matter WHO it was, we would have had an issue.
One afternoon we were being sh-ts, and she punished us- probably the go-to-your-room variety. I picked up one of the house phones, and my brother and I called my dad at work to complain about the sitter. We held nothing back, saying things about how we hated her, she was fat, smelled bad, mean, etc. Just total ahole kid stuff.
The worst moment was realizing that she had picked up another phone in the house and heard the entire thing. In her defense, I think she was making sure we weren't calling anyone we shoudn't.... aka doing her job as a babysitter.
That day, we got to see a grown woman cry. I have never wished so much that I could take words back, and this still haunts me 20+ years later. Ms. Rhonda, wherever you are, I'm so, so sorry.
Crazy Jam
[rebelmouse-image 18348579 is_animated_gif=Back in senior year of high school, me and some friends coaxed the administration into letting us do a "music independent study," which was basically code for letting us jam out on guitars for 35 minutes a day. Our music teacher was pissed but couldn't do anything about it. One day he was late so we started playing these African-looking drums in the music room. I started dancing like a maniac as the drums got louder and louder. Suddenly the music stops---but I keep dancing (you know, like a jackass) and everybody's face goes white. After about a minute and a half I finally turn around to see Mr. Grimsby glaring at all of us.
I'll Sue You
[rebelmouse-image 18345747 is_animated_gif=I was doing an impression of a teacher that had a history of suing students who made jokes of fun. so there I was doing this highly exagerated impression about how I'd sue all my friends when they looked behind me and I knew what it meant.
I looked back, the teacher stopped on his way, looked straight in my eyes, then turned back and left. I was like "he went to call his lawyers, I'm screwed lol"
Back Of The Line!
[rebelmouse-image 18348580 is_animated_gif=I told a guy off while at self checkout because he came up to the podium wanting to be checked out and I told him that wasn't fair for everyone else who had waited in line and was doing it himself, and the minute he walks away I have this feeling of dread and sure enough one of the biggest kiss ass supervisors walks up from behind me, because he was standing there the whole time. I get immedietely pulled into the office to be told by all the supervisors and managers on the front end that I shouldn't talk to customers that way.
This was at a store that is known for being a mart with wals.
What A Weirdo
[rebelmouse-image 18348581 is_animated_gif=Ugh I still cringe when I think about this story.
When I was about 11, my whole family took a trip to Nevada. My parents, siblings, grandparents and all of my cousins/aunts/uncles.
I have a cousin, Jake, who was very strange when he was younger. Looking back on it, I'm not even certain that I thought he was strange or if I was influenced by the older members of my family that said he was.
We were in our rental car, waiting to go to the Hoover Dam. I blurted out, "Jake Jr. is kind of strange, isn't he?", probably in an attempt to seem grown up in front of everyone. Everyone's face went white, Jake Jr was in the car with us all the way in the back but I had forgotten. I looked back to see my grandmother just stroking his head while he lay in her lap.
My face burned tomato red. This is my first distinct memory of shame and embarrassment. When I look back on that, I hope that he didn't hear me or maybe that he was too young to even realize. It makes my stomach drop to think that maybe he remembers and thinks that I think he is weird. At 21, and him at 16, it makes me wonder if the reason I never hear from him is that.
I'm sorry, Jake. I was a brat and so were the family members that thought you were weird.
Awkward 101
[rebelmouse-image 18348582 is_animated_gif=My younger sister and I were in the same chemistry class in high school (long story), but she didn't particularly get along with our teacher. At one point in class she said something to that effect out loud and didn't realize he was only a few feet away. I said, "Say it a little louder, why don't you?!" (In a tone that said to shut the hell up.) And he responded, "Yeah, say it a little louder."
She dropped the class that week.
The Family You Don't Choose
[rebelmouse-image 18348583 is_animated_gif=My brother's girlfriend drove me and all my friends crazy. She was just generally rude, talked over other people constantly, had really bad ideas about everything etc.
One night we BBQed with my brother, his GF and a bunch of my friends. The night wound down and my brother and his girlfriend left and me and my friends went inside to play some games and end the night. At this point we're all standing around venting about my brother's GF, talking about how horrible and obnoxious she is, etc.
I then turn around and she's in the apartment. I have no idea how this happened as the door we came in locks automatically and she didn't come in the front door. I am guessing it just didn't close all the way. It turns out she forgot something.
To this day I don't know what if anything she heard but I can not imagine she wouldn't have heard us. My only hope is that she didn't know we were talking about her specifically.
I felt really bad about this, and still do to this day. She's now my brother's life and I actually like her more now. It took that situation for me to reflect on how sh-tty it is to trash talk someone like that.
Cool Professor
[rebelmouse-image 18348585 is_animated_gif=Yesterday. Show up to my Shakespeare class early and decide to sit on the Professors desk up front, lean back on my elbow almost laying on the table. Start Shooting the sh-t with my classmates and some one asks "does anyone know what we're doing today?" And I reply "I don't know I'm just here for the attendance grade." Everyone laughs and suddenly stops. I turn around and see the professor at the door. I was mortified but she laughed and I know we're cool because I participate in class.
Still, that moment was awful.
One would think we're in a place in time where all conversations should be easy.
But that is not the case.
So much is still too "taboo" to be truthful about.
It is so frustrating.
There is so much to discuss.
Being shy is understandable, but it's something that we can all get over.
Redditor No_One_Special34 wanted to breakdown some barriers with a few simple conversations, so they asked:
"What is a taboo subject that should be talked about more?"
Speak Up
"Child/infant death. When my daughter died a bunch of people just... stopped talking to me altogether."
BaronMatfei
"I'm sorry to hear about your child."
"A 7-year-old was hit by a truck last week near my son's kg. I've never met the boy but I have had nightmares about it. I can't imagine what the parents are going thru right now. I can't imagine what you are going through."
ikalwewe
"This happened to my mom when my brother died. Nobody knew what to say so few people said anything, and then it was treated like it didn’t happen."
myspiritedconfusion
The Aging Process
"Nursing homes."
Limp_Distribution
"We are a disgustingly ageist society. No wonder people pay BILLIONS for plastic surgery, hair color, and fitness, etc to stay relevant and not be thought of as useless or 'other.' It’s so very hateful. I think our society fears old age and death. It’s a f**king pathos."
Playful-Reflection12
"THANK YOU! I'm a 20-year paramedic. One of the things that I really hoped COVID would shed a light on is the absolutely abhorrent treatment of our elderly and infirmed. The 'treatment' in far too many nursing homes is negligent to a criminal level."
MedicSBK
That's Easy...
"Household budgets and finance - how much your parents make, how much is the mortgage, car insurance, car payment, and so on."
davmoha
"That's easy. House, two cars, three kids, stay-at-home wife, pets, college tuition for everyone in the bank, a summer cottage home by the lake, and a hobby like golf should all do if you're a hardworking drug dealer nowadays."
aaar129
"Agreed! We have gone into detail about our finances with our kids. We have them pick jobs on LinkedIn and a home on Zillow and budget so expenses and have them watch as they realize they can't afford expensive stuff on a crap salary. It's been really great."
HoidWit
Look for the Signs...
"Familial abuse."
"Many people tend to assume that abusive people look creepy/scary and behave badly in general, but they don't seem to get that anyone can be abusive, regardless of appearance or demeanor. An abusive person can easily be charming, attractive, funny, witty, etc."
"Just because you think someone has a few positive qualities does not mean they're incapable of abuse."
"If someone's child 'seems' happy and well behaved, it does not mean that they are automatically OK or safe. There are many signs of abuse, and I wish that more people educated themselves on this issue. We can literally save lives by doing so."
ArtisanalMagi
The Girl Truth
"Girls need to know everything there is to know about menstruation before they experience it. At my school we were only given a quick 'every month you will bleed out your vagina, you can use pads or tampons to absorb it.' Nothing about any of the other mental or physical effects, nothing about how to deal with them, and nothing else reassuring."
IJustpeedyourpants
Why are girls not taught more sooner?
Like what year are we living in?
The End
"Death."
fallen-summer
"Number one for me, especially out-of-order deaths (young deaths). My husband died when I was 33 and he was 38. It's been almost 3 years and people still struggle with how to talk to me. We need to talk about death more as a society."
veganbettie
Only Legal One
"Alcoholism, especially in older generations."
Kaverim
"The biggest drug in the world, the most dangerous, only legal one. Alcohol has been disguised to make society believe it isn't even a drug. Now we're all hooked and can't go a week without a drink, funny because the cravings come back within a week."
Unlucky_Ducky23
"I quit drinking 18 months ago and it kinda sucks because if you want to go meet new ppl or go on a date it usually involves alcohol."
mspote
She's 75
"Comprehensive sex ed. My mother never had sex ed and was convinced that vaginal discharge wasn't normal and that your crotch didn't sweat."
Nay_nay267
"My mother had a condition that requires her to use a catheter. She was shocked to learn that she doesn't urinate from her vagina, and that the opening to her urethra is actually slightly above it. She's 75. I'm a dude, and I've known that since I was 14."
UniversalHammer71
"She was raised Catholic, and her mother taught her nothing. Not even what her period was. She was convinced she was dying."
Nay_nay267
Follow the Money
"Financial debt. In my line of work, I see people's bank accounts and credit reports every day and it is very rare that someone has zero debt. Excluding mortgages (which is a given) the vast majority have car finance, personal loans, and credit card balances. Mostly it's manageable, credit is mostly a convenience for which a person pays interest."
"But debt can also destroy a person. It can keep you up at night feeling like you're literally suffocating. It can lead to suicide. I know because I was close at one point. I don't know if I would have actually gone through with it but I had planned it to the point of measuring rope from the timbers in my attic to my neck and to ensure my feet wouldn't touch the ground."
"If you are in debt you are not alone, you're in the majority. If it's a struggle, notify the lenders/creditors; they're legally obligated to offer options to help you. It might reduce your credit score a bit but please don't ever reduce your life instead."
"Life is precious and money isn't. If you're struggling financially please speak to someone. There is no shame in it, pretty much everyone is struggling financially so someone will understand but please don't let a credit card balance be the reason your life ends."
kitjen
Holy Crap!
"Pooping and poop problems. Colon cancer is so common and relatively treatable, but like all cancers, it's so much better to catch it early - yet so many people are too embarrassed to talk about poop problems, and they don't bring it up with their doctor until it's too late."
"I have ulcerative colitis and make sure all my friends know I'm totally comfortable talking about poop if they ever have any questions about whether something happening to them is normal or concerning."
dorunrun
Speak more. Speak louder. We've all been quiet too long.
As much as we might try to take care of our things, there are going to be instances where we lose things that we love.
Ironically, those lost things might be some of the most meaningful things we have in our lives.
Redditor baba_yaga_777 asked:
"If someone offered you a box of everything you ever lost, what would you look for first?"
A Mother's Brooch
"The brooch I bought for my mom's birthday when I was five years old (60 years ago)."
"I took all my money out of my bank and walked to the local Hallmark store. The nice lady took my money (probably less than $2) and wrapped up the gift."
"When my mom opened her gift, we walked back to the store 'to thank the lady for wrapping it so nicely.' It was actually so my mom could offer to pay the rest of the cost of that beautiful brooch. The lady wouldn't accept any more money, though."
"And here we are, 60 years later, and I still remember the incredible kindness of that lady."
"I don't have the brooch or my mom, but I do have this memory."
- BakeCrochetGym
Childhood Photos
"When we left Yemen during the civil war in 1994, it was rushed and we lost a handbag that had all family photos from 15 to 20 years prior. It sucks not to have pictures of me when I was younger."
- gahgeer-is-back
The Perfect Fit
"My swim trunks for this summer. I just got them last year and they fit me perfectly, and now I can't find them for the life of me. It p**ses me off thinking about it."
- karmagod13000
All Progress Saved
"The 'Pokémon Crystal' game that I had leveled all of my favorite characters up to Level 80. The housecleaner swiped it and my parents wouldn’t believe me. F**k you, Julie."
- YourStolenCharizard
Lost Loved Ones
"My daughter. She was gone way too quick."
- WhatWouldTNGPicardDo
A Beloved Baby Blanket
"My childhood blankie. I have no idea what happened to it!"
- plasma_dan
"I somehow managed not to lose or destroy mine and gave it to my firstborn child. He still keeps it in his bed and turns seven soon. I think I’d ask for that too if it was lost."
- Lampyridae2A
Former Best Friends
"My best friend from my formative years."
- TrixonBanes
"Oof, same. She was like a sister to me. She lives on the other side of the country now and, even though we grew apart, I miss how I felt when I spent time with her."
- MaynardButterBean
Favorite Stuffies
"The stuffed platypus I had when I was in elementary. Every time my mom mentions finding stuff in my grandpa's house, I ask about it."
- JenniferMcKay
In Exchange for Toxic Relationships
"The self-esteem that I allowed others to destroy during a phase of illness."
- DeviantAvocado
Past Creations
"High school sketchbook full of emo edgy drawings."
- strangedigital
The Family Ring
"My mum's ring she'd been given by her Grandma that I pawned (my mum agreed at the time but always regretted it afterwards)."
"I got way, way less than its worth, since the guy took advantage of my age and desperation. The worst thing is, I can't even remember the design so can't ever have it replicated and can't ask my mum because she passed away earlier this year."
- -qqqwwweeerrrtttyyy-
Holiday Cheer
"Holiday cheer."
"Sure, I still love holidays but… as a kid, it was like, 'Holy mother of everliving f**k, Halloween is in THREE WEEKS? That is entirely too long. I will never be able to wait. Holy d**n.' And when it finally arrived, I'd have the night of my life."
"Now it’s like, 'Oh no. Halloween is in two days. Uh... Oh well...'"
- GregthePigeon
The Sea of Lost Picks
"As a guitarist, all of my f**king picks."
- ivaclue
Junk Drawers and Boxes
"The box I lost that had everything in it."
- Actuaryba
Quite the Conundrum
"The issue is that I can't recall what I've lost."
- ragnrokis
We've all lost things in our lives, some more important than others.
It's especially telling that at least most of us know exactly what we would seek first, before anything else that might possibly be in that box.
There are several things that are appealing to hikers.
Being out in nature and taking in some fresh air is a huge motivation for people to get out of the house.
Getting exercise is also a factor to maintain a healthy heart.
But there could be one unexpected element to a hike that can happen hypothetically, and it's sure to raise your heartbeat.
Specifically, seeing something shocking along the hiking trail, like, say, a naked person could make for an exciting–or disturbing–hiking outing. It certainly doesn't get any more au natural than that.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor spenf asked:
"What would be your reaction if you encountered a nude hiker?"
These Redditors assessed the situation and saw no harm.
Friendly Tip
"I have passed two nude hikers in my 35 years of hiking. One male, one female, years and thousands of miles apart. Both said 'hello'. I said 'hello.' One mentioned the trail was washed out ahead but a second trail has been cut. I thanked them for the heads-up. Some people like the wind and sun on their skin. Both had on hiking boots. To each their own."
– Zmirzlina
Sign Of Good Character
"I have. Three times! I'm an avid backpacker and you can usually find me in Yosemite, SeKi, Emigrant or Carson-Iceberg in California on any random summer weekend."
"My standard line: 'Afternoon, I didn't realize it was so cold out today!'"
"One of them didn't get the joke. The other two laughed their nude a**es off."
"Here's my reasoning. If you're naked and can laugh at a joke, you're probably not a threat."
– codefyre
Two Scenarios
"Depends. A hiker with hiking boots/shoes and a backpack, but otherwise nude, or a completely nude person on a hiking trail?"
"Scenario 1: I give a friendly wave and hike on."
"Scenario 2: I give a more tentative wave and hike on, maintaining a heightened awareness of my surroundings."
– Genshed
Casual Encounter
"I met one once. A middle aged man in ok shape. Had nice hiking boots, thick wool socks, fancy framed backpack, two walking poles, hat, sunglasses, and nothing else on."
"I said hi in a neutral voice, he replied hi in an equally neutral voice. We passed, I did not look back."
– SillyFlyGuy
Some hikers are suspect.
High Alert
"While backpacking out of Rocky Mountain National Park we encountered a dude wearing nothing but shoes and some very small shorts. He was off trail about 100' at the edge of a meadow, walking and swinging a machete. I...did not approach. He was probably a mile in from the trail head. I'm guessing drugs."
– DoctFaustus
Beware Of Black Magic
"Ha! There are a lot of superstitious rumors/stories circulating around scenario 2 in India. Apparently, people who practice black magic with the sole intent of harming someone are often seen walking naked in places you don't expect people, carrying weird items."
"Either you interrupt them by disturbing them (no clue what happens next) or you run in the opposite direction."
– longlegs25
You may want to take note.
"I live in the Bay Area and naked hikers are not uncommon."
"Good naked hiker: has appropriate shoes, a backpack or fanny pack, is hiking with intention and looks tanned and fit and like he does this regularly. Good naked hikers will give you room so you don't have to interact unless you really want to."
"Bad naked hiker: shoeless, visible sores, scrapes, or burns, moving erratically (i.e. really slow or in a zig-zag). Might be a drugged out person. Out-of-shape or pale are indications this is not normal for them and they may not have intended for this to happen."
"Exhibitionist: makes a point to make eye contact, smile at you, wave, try to involve you. Good naked hikers are usually on long, deep trails where they're less likely to encounter others, and they tend to give clothed hikers a wide breath out of a sense of respect and consent. Exhibitionists get chummy; it excites them to be seen naked."
– IAlbatross
"Also depends on the area. A deep woods area with long trails is ideal for naked hiking. Shorter and more accessible trails are less okay because there's a higher likelihood of encountering families with children."
"Also depends on if they're with friends or not. A group of naked hikers is less concerning than an individual."
"All this boils down to:"
"If you see a naked hiker, mind your own business. A good naked hiker isn't trying to bother you. A bad naked hiker is potentially dangerous. An exhibitionist wants attention so any attention paid to them will fuel them. Best thing to do is nod as you pass and carry on like you haven't even noticed."
"Edit: There are actually areas in the Bay Area where it's permitted to hike naked. Regionally, some places allow nudity. Also some places allow women to be topless so a topless female hiker might just be evening out her tan. It's best not to assume and to know the local laws before passing judgement on a person getting their nature on."
– IAlbatross
Guilty as charged.
The Name Is A Dead Giveaway
"No reaction at all, since I would be nude myself."
– NudistGeek
"Stare in disbelief. That's just very strange and coincidental for two nude hikers to run into each other."
"I guess make sure they have sunscreen also."
– miketdavis
To each their own, but if hiking in the nude is your thing, you do you.
And just a heads up: If you're walking around in the buff and happen to be wielding a machete, you're going to make people very jittery. So maybe drop the prop.
Also, wear plenty of sunscreen.
30 is the new 20.
At least, that's what a lot of people tell themselves after they pass that milestone birthday.
Even so, while age is merely a number, people still find certain things grow increasingly more challenging with each passing year.
Including, or even particularly, dating.
Those still on the hunt for love after turning 30 might grow increasingly insecure, worry that their moment has passed, or be unable to ignore the ticking of their biological clock reminding them that time might be running out to start a family.
Not to mention, playing a losing game over and over can become completely and utterly exhausting after a while.
"What is the hardest part of dating after 30?"
Not Everyone Wants A Package Deal
"Realizing that the number of single parents is larger than you’d expect."- dhabo1030
"Some people have kids or want them soon."
"And emotional baggage."- Psyblade0_0
"Kids, whether you have them or not, is something to talk and consider immediately before starting anything."- Crisb89
"For me, it was finding someone who didn't have kids, and didn't want them."
"At that point in my life, I was (and still am) 100% sure I don't want kids."
"Finding a long-term partner who wants the same was pretty tough."- Toiletpaperplane
"Everyone has kids."- TopScruffy
Playing Happy Children GIF by MOODMANGiphyEveryone's In A Hurry
"'Dating after 30 is like catching a city bus after midnight'."
"'There aren't as many, but they're faster'."- civex
How Long Have You Got?
"Online dating sucks and all my friends are married or dead or single fathers."
"So I am on my own for the most part."- somedude-83
"It's not all fun and games anymore."
"People feel late or behind."
"First dates often: are we compatible, do you want kids, are you OK with my kids, are you ready for a serious relationship, do you make enough money, do you own a home, politics?"
"Religion."
"I don't have time to mess with you if we aren't a match because I'm in my 30s and supposed to be married and having kids."
"The days of just light fun dating are less common."- ZLVe96
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphyEmotional And/Or Excess Baggage
"Geez."
"You sometimes pay for what their ex did to them."- JJJAAABBB123
Rising Standards And Expectations
"You have your preferences narrowed down a LOT more than you did in your 20s, thus finding a compatible partner is more difficult."
"Especially if you dislike kids."- Clintman
"Many people want 'high value' partners while having no value."- Zetterburger40
Sassy Red Wine GIF by Married At First SightGiphySolo routines Can Be Hard To Shake...
"I've learned I prefer my own company."- PrinceEnternalStench
Alternative Methods...
"The summoning rituals you have to go through."- AdCareful5654
Wait Till Your 40s...
"Wait until they’re over 45."
"Most are divorced and have been alone for a while."
"It‘s a reset of dating and they’re open to try something new."
"That person who was out of your league is now squarely in your court."
"Go for it!"- macgiv
See Ya Goodbye GIF by MaxGiphyGood Luck Getting A Good Night's Sleep...
"CPAP Machines."- Reddit
As long as you are single, finding love is one of the many things you think you might never achieve with each passing year.
However, when you do finally find that one true love, no matter when or how old you are, you will realize in no time at all it was definitely worth the wait.