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Embarrassed People Share Their 'He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He' Stories

Embarrassed People Share Their 'He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He' Stories

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Being aware of your surroundings is important, especially if you live in a big city. A stray delivery bike or a disturbed pigeon can run into you and knock you on your keister, and no one wants that. However, social interactions also call for an awareness of who's around you and what kind of story you're telling. Otherwise, you're caught in one of those moments you wish you could escape but never do.

Reddit user, r/AmAllergicToGold, wanted to know your most socially awkward moments when they asked:

What's your "he's right behind me, isn't he?" story?

Silent, But Deadly

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My grandfather has the ability to walk silently like can creep on you like no other. Additionally, he doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish. So, to show his love, he generally just walks over, taps you on the shoulder, "ah, my boy"

This particular time, It was me and all my siblings playing some video game. I was inches from the tv as we were playing if you die its the next person's turn. Grandpa sneaks right up on me. His hand inches from my shoulder. I just drop a bomb and rip on the loudest farts I've had to date. A lot of cheetos and dr pepper in those days.

He pauses, removes his hand and stealth walks away. I didn't even know that happened until he left and all my siblings burst into laughter.

Shame.

randoreds

Maybe Buy The Censored Version From Now On

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I'm a computer tech. At my old job, all of the techs sat in this one room with our own desks, to work on computers. My friend Caleb and I were working on a machine together. We had music playing (Bonfire by Childish Gambino). The lyrics were "Move white girls like there's coke up my a--crack Move black girls cause, man"

The big boss for the whole department happened to be behind us.

Awkward.

lex_16

Please Move

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Talking to my friend about the hot TA in a tutorial and giggling like teenagers.

Obviously he was right behind us and to our embarrassment he asked my friend to move to another table.

JasStone

Mommy Talks, Player Walks

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This is a "he's sitting right beside me" story.

There was this kid on my high school baseball team that was incredibly annoying. He always complained about everything, his mom talked to the coach too often about getting more playing time. He just wasn't a good athlete. Well, one day my teammates and I were all sitting on the bench in the dugout and the kid was walking over to sit down on the bench next to us. Something happened, I got distracted (foul ball or something), and I lost sight of the annoying kid. I leaned over to who I thought was my friend and said "Don't let (his name) sit next to us." Turns out my friend was sitting on the opposite side of me and I had just said that directly to his face.

He got pissed, said "REALLY?!", got up and walked away.

I don't feel bad about it at all. He was obnoxious.

DramaSkeets

The Ugliest Fight

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When I was in college I was cooking in the dorm kitchen with a friend. He asked if I was going to be living with the same person next year. My response was, "Oh god no. She's terrible. All she does all day is sit in the dark watching CMT with her crazy racist boyfriend. I can't wait to never see her again."

She had been standing on the other side of the wall (probably spying on me because she did that sometimes) and heard the entire conversation.

We had a really ugly fight after that.

snake-juice

Ready, Friend B?

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At bar trivia one night, two of my friends got into a heated debate over Ready Player One, my female friend said it was Gary Stu wish fulfillment garbage with little to no literary merit. My male friend, who is a huge dork in his mid 20s and has a degree in English, was arguing the other side. After we left, I said to a third friend "I love Friend B, but I think he may be a little biased because he's the target demographic of the book." He was standing directly behind me.

I also know he has a Reddit account, so he may end up right behind me again on this one, lol.

InsOmNomNomnia

Trapped Between A Rock And A Hard Place

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I have one. Our production manager was quitting (given her 2 weeks notice) and was seriously going off about the owner of the company.

Me and one other girl were in the printer room while said project manager was training us on some new machinery. She just went off about how "insert owner" was a selfish ahole and how he cares about no one but himself and that he is the reason she is leaving. She lists off every variation of insults pertaining to him while we stand there awkwardly. I glance back and guess who is standing directly behind me. Yep...the owner

Funny thing is, he is actually really nice and I have no idea why she hated him so much. That episode was never brought up again. But I'll be damned if I wasn't sweating bullets. What an awkward position to put your staff in.

CrispehChikenWingz

But It Wasn't About YOUR Service

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Sorta fitting...

It usually comes up when I am at a restaurant and I feel like the service is pretty awesome. Then I share with my friend a time when it was awful somewhere else only for the server to show up at some perfect time where it probably sounds like I am b--ching about them.

I want to burst out with "I'm not talking about you!" because I'm not talking about them. At the same time I don't because chances are they didn't hear sh-t.

I usually end up leaving a bigger tip than normal out of embarrassment.

AtomicHare

You Might Be A...

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I was at a water park with some friends, and I saw this guy with the word "REDNECK" tattooed across his back, I started making snide comments about him. Later on in the day I said to my friends "hey maybe I should get 'HUGE IDIOT' tattooed across my back like that one idiot we saw earlier, I mean seriously who gets 'REDN-" I got cutoff by someone tapping my shoulder. I turn around and it's the guy with the redneck tattoo, let me tell you I've never been more scared of getting my ass kicked than I was right at that second.

I'm not sure if he knew I was talking about him or not but all he did was to ask me what time it was (I had a watch on) and then he walked away. I learned my lesson about talking crap about people I don't know.

RedCaribou57

When The Whole Class Gets Involved...

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We had an important presentation in design school, it was worth a large part of our grade. This one was important enough that some dressed up and brought guests. We had almost the entire same classes for two years with the same members. There were three guys who's work was not on pace with the class. While we would point out strengths and weaknesses, it was best to try to make positive comments. One guy presented a turd that he'd pulled out of his ass just the night before. It was a point of sale display for a spiderman comic book, but it was obviously a used pizza box, spray painted gold, with sharpy spiderwebs. He then tried to distract by showing off the book and geeking out on spiderman.

After class several of us were gathered discussing it. One guy brought up how Ace had really sh-t the bed and how if he had turned in something so bad he would show his face again. Room freezes as we point out that the guy was back to back with Ace. They were so close that their chairs were touching. Our group goes silent as does his table. There is a long moment where there is a huge tense silence. Another guy at our table had brought his girlfriend pipes up,"What? What? What? Why isn't anyone saying anything? Are you talking about Spiderman guy? The one with pizza on the inside of his thing and had all those bad drawings?" She then started quoting him and doing an impression. When I tried to quiet her down she wasn't having it, even though she figured out he was inches away.

Eventually a conversation started and people tried to move on. Then Ace gets up red face, obvious that he was trying not to cry and heads out of the room.

DarrenEdwards

Wonder What The Pattern Was...

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I was the guy who was right behind.

I used to teach 8th grade and it was cold in the mornings so I wore a thick sweater. I thought it was a nice sweater.

One morning way before class, I walked into the Library, said hi to Emily (one of my students) and her friend as we walked by each other. I passed them and immediately turned around because I forgot something.

I plainly heard Emily say, "See! THATS the ugly sweater." When they turned around to see me.... I was right behind them. They shrieked and took off running!

Later, Emily apologized - but I never wore that sweater again to school and a couple years later I dropped it off at a GoodWill.

inthesandtrap

Might Pick Better Adjectives

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Working at our office. Head out to the warehouse and start talking to coworker. We have two Nick's who work for the company. Mostly they go by and answer to "Warehouse Nick" and "Office Nick". Me and this particular coworker occasionally refer to them based on their relative size...

I don't remember the question, but my response was "I think Nick went to go get them." He asked, "Skinny Nick?" I replied without thinking. "No, Fat Nick."

He had just walked in the warehouse behind me. Luckily he laughed it off and didn't call HR.

Tevako

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

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This one happened when I was a child, and it still makes me cringe to think about:

My younger brother and I used to have a sitter stay with us from the time we got home from school until our parents got home, as both parents worked. For some reason, brother and I really did not care for this woman. Looking back, there was nothing wrong with her, but I think we were both getting to that "we're too old for a sitter" age, so no matter WHO it was, we would have had an issue.

One afternoon we were being sh-ts, and she punished us- probably the go-to-your-room variety. I picked up one of the house phones, and my brother and I called my dad at work to complain about the sitter. We held nothing back, saying things about how we hated her, she was fat, smelled bad, mean, etc. Just total ahole kid stuff.

The worst moment was realizing that she had picked up another phone in the house and heard the entire thing. In her defense, I think she was making sure we weren't calling anyone we shoudn't.... aka doing her job as a babysitter.

That day, we got to see a grown woman cry. I have never wished so much that I could take words back, and this still haunts me 20+ years later. Ms. Rhonda, wherever you are, I'm so, so sorry.

bluemooneyes

Crazy Jam

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Back in senior year of high school, me and some friends coaxed the administration into letting us do a "music independent study," which was basically code for letting us jam out on guitars for 35 minutes a day. Our music teacher was pissed but couldn't do anything about it. One day he was late so we started playing these African-looking drums in the music room. I started dancing like a maniac as the drums got louder and louder. Suddenly the music stops---but I keep dancing (you know, like a jackass) and everybody's face goes white. After about a minute and a half I finally turn around to see Mr. Grimsby glaring at all of us.

Momik

I'll Sue You

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I was doing an impression of a teacher that had a history of suing students who made jokes of fun. so there I was doing this highly exagerated impression about how I'd sue all my friends when they looked behind me and I knew what it meant.

I looked back, the teacher stopped on his way, looked straight in my eyes, then turned back and left. I was like "he went to call his lawyers, I'm screwed lol"

czmauricio

Back Of The Line!

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I told a guy off while at self checkout because he came up to the podium wanting to be checked out and I told him that wasn't fair for everyone else who had waited in line and was doing it himself, and the minute he walks away I have this feeling of dread and sure enough one of the biggest kiss ass supervisors walks up from behind me, because he was standing there the whole time. I get immedietely pulled into the office to be told by all the supervisors and managers on the front end that I shouldn't talk to customers that way.

This was at a store that is known for being a mart with wals.

rukioish

What A Weirdo

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Ugh I still cringe when I think about this story.

When I was about 11, my whole family took a trip to Nevada. My parents, siblings, grandparents and all of my cousins/aunts/uncles.

I have a cousin, Jake, who was very strange when he was younger. Looking back on it, I'm not even certain that I thought he was strange or if I was influenced by the older members of my family that said he was.

We were in our rental car, waiting to go to the Hoover Dam. I blurted out, "Jake Jr. is kind of strange, isn't he?", probably in an attempt to seem grown up in front of everyone. Everyone's face went white, Jake Jr was in the car with us all the way in the back but I had forgotten. I looked back to see my grandmother just stroking his head while he lay in her lap.

My face burned tomato red. This is my first distinct memory of shame and embarrassment. When I look back on that, I hope that he didn't hear me or maybe that he was too young to even realize. It makes my stomach drop to think that maybe he remembers and thinks that I think he is weird. At 21, and him at 16, it makes me wonder if the reason I never hear from him is that.

I'm sorry, Jake. I was a brat and so were the family members that thought you were weird.

jb014

Awkward 101

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My younger sister and I were in the same chemistry class in high school (long story), but she didn't particularly get along with our teacher. At one point in class she said something to that effect out loud and didn't realize he was only a few feet away. I said, "Say it a little louder, why don't you?!" (In a tone that said to shut the hell up.) And he responded, "Yeah, say it a little louder."

She dropped the class that week.

girlonahill

The Family You Don't Choose

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My brother's girlfriend drove me and all my friends crazy. She was just generally rude, talked over other people constantly, had really bad ideas about everything etc.

One night we BBQed with my brother, his GF and a bunch of my friends. The night wound down and my brother and his girlfriend left and me and my friends went inside to play some games and end the night. At this point we're all standing around venting about my brother's GF, talking about how horrible and obnoxious she is, etc.

I then turn around and she's in the apartment. I have no idea how this happened as the door we came in locks automatically and she didn't come in the front door. I am guessing it just didn't close all the way. It turns out she forgot something.

To this day I don't know what if anything she heard but I can not imagine she wouldn't have heard us. My only hope is that she didn't know we were talking about her specifically.

I felt really bad about this, and still do to this day. She's now my brother's life and I actually like her more now. It took that situation for me to reflect on how sh-tty it is to trash talk someone like that.

amnotrussian

Cool Professor

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Yesterday. Show up to my Shakespeare class early and decide to sit on the Professors desk up front, lean back on my elbow almost laying on the table. Start Shooting the sh-t with my classmates and some one asks "does anyone know what we're doing today?" And I reply "I don't know I'm just here for the attendance grade." Everyone laughs and suddenly stops. I turn around and see the professor at the door. I was mortified but she laughed and I know we're cool because I participate in class.

Still, that moment was awful.

Senor_Yosh

People Divulge The 'Harmless' Secrets They've Been Keeping Forever

Reddit user MrBowls asked: 'What’s a harmless/non-serious secret you’ve kept forever?'

Girl whispering into a boy's ear
saeed karimi/Unsplash

Everyone, at some point in their lives, has managed to keep confidential information a secret.

Whether it was an individual's embarrassing past or someone else's behavior that you weren't supposed to witness but did, most people generally manage to show restraint by not revealing secrets.

Until they don't.

Sometimes it depends on how scandalous the secrets are.

But some are relatively easier to keep than others.

Curious to hear from strangers who've managed to be tight-lipped, Redditor MrBowls asked:

"What’s a harmless/non-serious secret you’ve kept forever?"

These Redditors did what they could to keep up with appearances.

Covering Up Mom's Habit

"My mom was a meth addict. So my siblings and I grew up with very little. Normally she would pull her head out of her a** enough around the holiday season to sign up with a church or charity to get us a food box and some presents. However by the time I was 11 she was so far gone we could go weeks without seeing her leave her room or her be completely gone from the house. I entered a drawing contest at my school around this time. I won a $100 gift certificate to our local mall."

"One day after making sure my siblings made it to school I played hooky and walked to the mall(about 3.5 miles) I bought my three siblings some presents(almost forgot to get myself something ended up buying some discounted body wash) then had them wrapped there at the mall before trekking home. I hid the presents in the crawl space till the 24th (I was right our mom did nothing) when my siblings were distracted by a movie, I snuck out and put the box of presents on the front porch before knocking and running away. I snuck back in the back door by the bathroom and heard my siblings yelling 'someone left a box on the porch that says Merry Christmas' I had also spent the last week before winter break going door to door asking for canned food donations, saying it was for a food drive at my church (I didn't have a church) so that we didn't spent the whole winter break hungry."

"I'm so glad all 4 of us made it out of our childhood, and not one of us took the same path as the woman who birthed us Edit:spelling."

– Beautiful_Ad1219

Keeping Up A Ruse

"My friend is a major, major, Death Cab for Cutie fan. They came to our city a couple years ago, and I knew she wouldn’t be able to afford the tickets to go. She was upbeat about it, but I know she was devastated by it."

"I bought tickets. Two days before the show, I told her that the friend I originally planned to take couldn’t go, and would she please come with me? There was no other friend. Told her I loved the band and would be sad to miss them. She of course accepted, and had the time of her life."

"She’s doing much better now, but every couple of Christmases or Birthdays, she gets me some Death Cab merchandise because 'she knows how much I love the band.'"

"I can’t stand their music. I literally have them blocked on Spotify. But now it’s gone too far where I can’t tell her."

– chernygal

A Worthy Replacement

"First marriage to my late wife, on the day of the wedding, the ring got stolen out of my car. I was freaking out. My two best men went into overdrive and took a picture I had if the ring and went to I don't know how many jewelry stores explaining what had happened and if they had a ring that was similar."

"They went to this really great jewelry maker so said, 'I have something that is really close, give me a bit and I can make it perfect.'"

"He worked his a** off and got it done with about an hour to spare, plus the managed to get my window fixed."

"The three of us are the only ones who know. It stays that way! I ended up using that jewelry maker for any jewelry I needed and well I haven't stopped yet."

"He ended up telling my best men to not worry about the price and for me to come down after the honeymoon to work it out. I did and he gave it to me at the cost of the materials. He is a great guy. He retired during COVID."

– UtahCyan

Nobody needed to know. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

Crafty Dad

"My mum is a health nut (with probably disordered eating) who wouldn’t let us have cheese in the house when I was kid. When I was mid 20s, I bought a unit and my dad was helping me fix stuff up so I provided lunch. I said to him - bet you’re going to hate going back to work next week and not have any cheese on your sandwiches. It was then he told me his deepest secret, he had been buying blocks of cheese at work for years. I had no idea he was crafty. And my mum still doesn’t. Poor dad has been retired for years though so not sure on the current cheese consumption status."

– rumblemumbles

Don't Pet Raccoons

"One day I came home late at night drunk and decided to walk my dog. Just when we arrived outside my house my dog attacked a racoon hanging around the area. I ended up wrestling my malamute and freed the racoon from his jaws."

"Here's the thing. I was drunk and the racoon kinda just stared at me infront of me and I decided to try and pet the racoon. I got maybe one pet in before it took a chunk out of my finger. I ran into the house leaving a trail of blood up to my brothers room for help. A sleepless night in the hospital and 4 consecutive rabies shots later was the result."

"Everyone asked me what happened and I just told them while I heroically wrestled my dog to save the racoon I got bit in the process. They still don't know the real story. It still gets brought up 10 years year."

– August-thecow

Saving Dad's Life

"I was about 10 years old and was pretending to be sick to avoid going to school. This was the 1980's so the old-school, glass tube, mercury-filled thermometers were still a thing."

"My dad was getting ready to leave for work as I worked my magic to convince my mom to let me stay home for the day. Neither one of them was having it. I persisted."

"Out of frustration, my mom grabbed the thermometer and put it under my tongue. I knew it would read 98.6 and this was my only shot to avoid school for the day."

"Both of my parents stepped out of the room for a moment. I looked over and saw my dad's piping hot cup of coffee sitting on the counter awaiting his morning commute. I quickly dipped the thermo into the hot java."

"It instantly shattered emptying the toxic mercury into the coffee along with tiny shards of glass. I panicked. In my mind, there were only a couple possible outcomes. My dad dies of heavy metal poisoning and a lacerated esophagus. Or, I fess up to what I did."

"I could hear them coming around the corner about to return to the kitchen. At the last possible second, I swatted my dad's mug off the kitchen counter smashing it on the floor creating a coffee explosion in my mom's freshly cleaned kitchen."

"They burst in the kitchen aghast at the mess I created. I reply with a flurry of sorrys and apologize profusely for being clumsy. My dad is furious because now he won't have coffee on his way to work. My mom is pissed and she starts cleaning up the mess."

"In the chaos everyone forgets about my claims of illness. I slipped the remainder of the broken thermo into the trash and went to the bus stop saving my father from a horrible death--at least in my mind at the time. Until this day, I have never told anyone about this."

– from_the_interwebz

These anecdotes will warm your heart.

Encouraging A Splurge

"I convinced my sister I had entered us both in a blog giveaway, I won a coupon but she won the grand prize , a $300 gift card to Lane Bryant. My sister was a size 16, and desperately needed new clothes but would spend money on her baby grandkids and thin adult daughters. This was the only way I could make sure she spent it on herself. It’s been 10 years. She’s doesn’t know."

"Edit: thank you kind strangers. I’m glad she doesn’t know what Reddit is, or she’d definitely figure this out !"

– Remarkable_Story9843

A Dying Mother's Legacy

"When my wife died, she had been working on 'special occasion' letters for all of our kids. Towards the end, the cancer had spread to her brain and she wasn’t able to focus on writing much, and when she did, it was often unintelligible gibberish. I tried to help her by taking dictation but she said it would mean more if it was in her own handwriting and wanted to finish it. She slipped into a coma and died after only getting through a handful of letters for our eldest child, leaving addressed envelopes only for our other two kids."

"I knew this would be devastating for the three kids, and possibly create conflict, so I paid a woman who specialized in calligraphy to literally duplicate my wife’s handwriting. I gave her the content, channeling my wife’s comments she made to me about what I thought would be meaningful words to our three kids when I had helped her dictate a few. And, as she wanted, I have passed them out on special occasions of wedding dates, birth of first child dates, first day of college dates, etc."

"My kids don’t know. They’ve even shared the ones she actually wrote with ones written by her surrogate and thus far the secret remains safe. I haven’t told anyone else this but Reddit and hope it stays here a secret as well. I’ll take it to my grave. I consider it harmless as it was her intent but cancer robs so much from people afflicted with it…including their best, most sincere attempts at helping others cope with the loss themselves."

"EDIT: Wow, thank you for all the awards and comments of encouragement gang. I’m humbled by some of the messages. Thank you."

– Walleyevision

As you see, secrets are complicated depending on the situation.

Some secrets are kept to not only respect the privacy of others, but also out of kindness to protect the positive illusion to disguise a cruel reality.

Can you be trusted with keeping a secret under any circumstance?

Assortment of colorful food
Photo by Jimmy Dean on Unsplash

Certain foods are almost synonymous with being eaten a certain way.

For example, sushi is traditionally eaten with chopsticks and dipped in soy sauce seasoned with ginger and wasabi, while Moroccan food is believed to be enjoyed much more when eaten by hand.

Others are a bit more flexible in terms of how they should be served, such as the age-old debate as to whether ice cream is better in a cup or a cone.

Sometimes, however, people choose a way of eating certain foods in a manner that is anything but traditional.

In their opinion, however, what they're eating proves to be even more delicious in this unorthodox fashion.

Keep reading...Show less
A man floats on his back in the ocean, while reading a book
Photo by Toa Heftiba

There will never be enough time to consume all the facts and figures life has to offer.

My favorite type of new info is strange and unusual facts.

They're great for parties and first dates.

And one should always be ready to be on a quiz show.

You never know when it could happen.

And knowing the length of a giraffe's legs could win you millions.

Or make you the most interesting chatterbox in a room.

Keep reading...Show less
Bizarre Historical Facts They Never Taught Us In School
Photo by Austin Lowman on Unsplash

We can't learn everything in school, and maybe that's a good thing—because these bizarre historical facts are too weird for a textbook. Like Abraham Lincoln's other assassination, Thomas Edison's little-known dark side, or Mozart's obsession with butts...and that's just naming a few. Strap in for this VERY strange ride.

1. Queen Elizabeth Had A Nasty Mouth

Although dental hygiene was not necessarily at its peak in Tudor England, Queen Elizabeth I’s fondness for sweets gave her pearly whites an even darker tone...in fact, her chompers were probably very black. More than that, since sugar was a luxury, some women then blackened their teeth both to emulate their queen and show off their wealth.

2. Thomas Edison Was Evil

The famous inventor Thomas Edison had a huge dark side not many people know about. For example, he used electricity to publicly kill animals. He wanted to show how alternating current was more dangerous than the "direct" current that he used. On one occasion, he used A/C to execute a rogue circus elephant named "Topsy" in front of thousands of people.

3. Alexander The Great's Mother Was Scary

File:Cassandre et Olympia-Jean Joseph Taillasson mg 8223.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org

Queen Olympias was Alexander the Great's mother, and she was even more ruthless than her son. On one occasion, she sent a captive enemy queen a cup of poison, a noose, and a sword...then told her to choose how she would die. According to history, the woman chose to hang herself, though she cursed Olympias to the very end of her life.

4. Napoleon Used His Wife As A "Womb"

Napoleon Bonaparte famously adored his wife Josephine, but few people remember the dark end of their love affair. Tragically, Josephine couldn't have children, so Napoleon made a hard choice: He divorced Josephine and took up with Marie-Louise of Austria. Napoleon reportedly told his blushing bride straight off, “It is a womb that I am marrying.”

5. Ernest Hemingway Almost Died In Back-To-Back Plane Crashes

In 1954, the macho writer Ernest Hemingway got into a plane crash. He miraculously survived, but that was just the start of the nightmare. When he tried to take another plane to get medical help, that plane exploded upon taking off. Hemingway managed to survive again. Talk about bad luck. Or wait a minute...actually, is that good luck?

6. King Edward VIII Was A Colossal Jerk

King Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson on holiday in Yugoslavia,… | Flickrwww.flickr.com

King Edward VIII lost his brother Prince John at a young age from a severe seizure. The boy had suffered from epilepsy and other ailments for years, but Edward’s response was so disturbing, it’s impossible to forget. He referred to John’s passing as “little more than a regrettable nuisance.”

7. The FBI Knew About Pearl Harbor

The FBI ignored compelling evidence about the attack on Pearl Harbor because they didn’t trust the Serbian double agent Dusan Popov, who was apparently a gambling, lustful lush. Dusan's nickname around town was "tricycle" because of his infamous love of threesomes. Unsurprisingly, he was one of the inspirations for Ian Fleming’s James Bond.

8. There Were Original "Siamese Twins"

Two Siam natives, Chang and Eng Bunker, were American twins joined at the sternum. During the American Civil War in 1865, Eng’s name was drawn in a draft lottery, but not Chang's. There was little the conscription officials could do: The brothers were not only joined at the sternum, but their livers were also fused. Neither twin served in the conflict.

9. Ben Franklin Had Bodies In His Basement

File:Joseph Siffrein Duplessis - Benjamin Franklin - Google Art ...en.wikipedia.org

While renovating his home into a museum, researchers made a horrific discovery at Ben Franklin's house. They found 10 bodies in the founding father's basement. This led to speculation he may have been a serial killer. However, the bodies were more likely cadavers used for the anatomical studies of one of Franklin’s friends.

10. You Can Use Honey For Some Messed-Up Activities

King Herod, the tyrant king of Judea, had his wife, Mariamne I, preserved in honey after her death. Herod ordered her execution, but found her too beautiful to bury and so kept and preserved her body for seven years. Herod suffered from paranoid delusions, rage, and arteriosclerosis, but his death in 4 BCE came at the hands of a mysterious and agonizing illness that modern doctors are still not able to identify.

At one point, the pain was so excruciating, the king attempted to take his own life. The illness came to be known, among the Judean people, as “Herod’s Evil.”

11. Abraham Lincoln Cheated Death Once

Abraham Lincoln was almost killed two years before he was assassinated. Late one August evening in 1863, Lincoln rode alone by horse to his family’s summer residence. A private at the gate heard a shot ring out and, moments later, a bareheaded Lincoln clinging to his steed galloped into the yard. Lincoln explained that gunfire at the foot of the hill had sent his horse into a frenzied gallop, running so fast that it knocked his hat off.

The two men retrieved Lincoln’s hat, which had a bullet hole in it. Lincoln asked the guards to keep the incident quiet because he didn’t want to worry his wife...

12. Public Beddings Were A Thing

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Catherine de Medici was only 14 when she married Henri, the son of King Francis. And although she was young, the King and other older men insisted on watching the consummation of the marriage.

13. The Most Ruthless French Queen

The Tour de Nesle affair was a scandal in the French royal family in 1314. In it, Queen Isabella of England accused her sisters-in-law of adultery. The scandal led to the imprisonment of the women and the execution of their lovers. The lovers were then executed. Most histories agree that they were first castrated and then drawn and quartered.

14. Marie Curie Slowly Killed Herself

Marie Curie, the chemist who conducted pioneering research on radioactivity, was completely in the dark when it came to the dangers of radioactive materials. Though she and her husband both suffered from chronic pain, neither considered that it was their radioactive substance-handling that was the cause. It was. Some of their original lab equipment is still so radioactive that we cannot safely view or study them.

15. George Bush Coined An Unfortunate Word

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After George Bush Sr. vomited on the Japanese Prime Minister, the Japanese invented a new word: Bushusuru. This means to “do the Bush thing” or to “publicly vomit.”

16. Gandhi Liked To Tempt Himself With Young Women

Today we see Gandhi as a figure of peaceful protest and understanding. But there's a side of him no one knows. At the age of 36, while married, Gandhi became more and more obsessed with lust. In order to train and “perfect” his control over his desires, Gandhi would sleep undressed with young women. But one night, he committed an act so heinous that it made his own staff member quit on him forever.

Gandhi had performed this sleeping act with his own grand-niece named Manu. His stenographer left in disgust.

17. The Most Notorious Hollywood Eccentric

Howard Hughes was one of the most successful men of his time, producing many famous movies and dating Hollywood's most beautiful women. However, later in life, he became a complete hermit. Hughes spent his days in hotels, refusing to make eye contact with his aides. He also stopped bathing completely. Even more gross? He only cut his hair and nails cut once a year.

18. Nero Hated His Mother

File:15-07-05-Schloß-Caputh-RalfR-N3S 1528.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

According to one ancient historian, the mad Emperor Nero tried and failed several times to kill his mother Agrippina the Younger, each time trying to up the ante. First, he tried to poison her on several occasions, but she always took an antidote each time. Then, he constructed a machine that would collapse her bedroom ceiling on her while she slept, but she caught wind of the plot and escaped.

Finally, he—seriously—invented a collapsible boat that would drown her while she was on a pleasure cruise. Reader, SHE STILL SURVIVED.

19. Grace Kelly Was A Homewrecker

Grace Kelly has a pristine, princess-like reputation in Hollywood, but nothing could be further from the truth. She had affairs with, and I quote, "everybody." She fell for so many of her older male co-stars that multiple biographers have wondered if Kelly had some daddy issues. There was Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, and Ray Milland, just to name a few. Milland's wife even called Kelly a "home-wrecker."

20. Victorians Had Impossible Beauty Standards

Although the hourglass figure has always held a special appeal across Western cultures, the Victorians took their obsession to a whole new level in their use of corsets. These waist-cinching devices, while successful in achieving a "wasp waist," had some major health repercussions. Besides causing fainting spells, which the era’s ladies unsurprisingly became famous for, the restriction on women’s lungs likely worsened potentially deadly ailments like pneumonia and tuberculosis.

21. Sweden Wasn't Always Peaceful

File:Verwilt - Erik XiV DSC6824.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

Erik XIV of Sweden was super paranoid. It wasn’t unusual for people caught laughing, smiling, or whispering within Erik’s earshot to find themselves on trial for treason. Somewhat ironically, he passed in 1577 when someone poisoned his pea soup. We guess just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

22. Mary Shelley Kept Her Husband's Heart

Frankenstein author Mary Shelley had a pretty gross secret hidden away in her desk: her dead husband’s heart. When her husband, the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, drowned in a boating accident, he was cremated, but his heart remained intact. Mary eventually took possession of it, and researchers discovered it in her desk when she passed a few years later.

23. King Henry VIII Had Royal Bottom Wipers

The infamous King Henry VIII employed four Grooms of the Stool, men whose job it was to wipe the royal bottom and attend to his other private needs. It was a position of great honor, but also—as one Groom soon discovered—incredibly grave danger. Henry VIII executed one of his bathroom staff, Sir Henry Norris, on trumped-up charges that he was sleeping with Henry's second wife Anne Boleyn.

24. Versailles Wasn't As Glamorous As We Think

Château de Versailles (Yvelines) | Le château vue depuis le … | Flickrwww.flickr.com

The legendary Palace of Versailles had everything—except enough toilets for everybody. Despite the villa’s luxury, Versailles simply didn’t have enough public water closets to accommodate Louis XIV’s huge court. It wasn’t uncommon for courtiers to pay each other for access to those precious commodes…or else, they simply went in the corner.

25. Mozart Loved Poop

Mozart was surprisingly obsessed with bathroom humor. Two of his songs actually talk about analingus. He also wrote letters to his family where he described his bowel movements in great detail.

26. King George IV Got A Brutal Revenge

King George IV hated his wife Caroline of Brunswick. When their only daughter perished in childbirth, George didn't even tell Caroline. She had to find out by accident through a courier.

27. Joan Crawford Once Gave Her Crush A Disturbing "Gift"

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Actress Joan Crawford once came on to her co-star Henry Fonda by making him a red sequined jockstrap.

28. A King Of Egypt Had A Disgusting Appetite

While many of Egypt’s citizens starved, King Farouk of Egypt reportedly ate 600 oysters a week. Not content with this, he also bought a candy red Bentley, then demanded that no one else paint their own cars red.

29. Jack The Ripper Might Have Been A Royal

For a long time, people thought Queen Victoria's grandson Prince Albert Victor was Jack the Ripper.

30. A Famous Comedian Hated One Color

File:Peter Sellers at home in Belgravia, London, 1973.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org

Comedian Peter Sellers hated the color green. He claimed it gave him “strange vibrations.” He not only refused to wear the hue, but he also refused to act opposite of anyone who did.

31. Russian Tsarinas Had A Naughty Addiction

Foot tickling was used in the Muscovite palaces and courts for centuries as a means of arousal. Many of the Czarinas (Catherine the Great, Anna Ivanovna, and others) loved it. It was so popular that eunuchs and women were employed as full-time foot ticklers.

32. The Royal Mistress Who Was A Dominatrix

Dancer and royal mistress Lola Montez carried a whip around wherever she went and lashed it out on anyone who displeased her, including members of the public, bored theatre-goers, and critics who gave her bad reviews.

33. Dracula Had A Dirty Little Secret

File:Bela Lugosi as Dracula.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

Dracula actor Bela Lugosi once had an affair with starlet Clara Bow, and commissioned an undressed portrait of the actress. He then displayed the large painting prominently in all of his homes from 1929 until his passing—including in the houses he shared with his last two wives.

34. Einstein Was Stupid In One Way

Albert Einstein's secretary once got an anonymous call asking where Einstein lived. The secretary declined to respond. The caller then admitted he was Einstein himself, and that he had forgotten his address.

35. Isaac Newton May Have Been A Virgin

Though Isaac Newton lived to be 84, he never married. Some even believe he never lost his virginity.

36. This Medieval Queen Was A Grave-Robber

File:Joanna of castile with her children.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

Shortly after her beloved husband's passing, Queen Joanna of Castile ordered his body exhumed, had the casket opened, jumped to his side once again, and kissed his dearly departed feet. She then carried his casket everywhere with her.

37. Cleopatra Had Wild Parties

Cleopatra wasn’t just a powerful queen; she was also a party girl. She created a drinking club known as the “Inimitable Livers” with her husband Marc Antony. The club would feast and drink heavily and then go out to play pranks on unsuspecting citizens.

38. People Actually Slept In Coffins

Actress Sarah Bernhardt had a peculiar obsession with death, and from the tender age of 15 onward, she sometimes slept in a custom-made, satin-lined rosewood coffin.

39. Caligula Loved His Horse WAY Too Much

File:Antonio Tempesta (1555-1630) (after) - Caligula (AD 12–41 ...commons.wikimedia.org

The Roman Emperor Gaius Caligula made his horse a senator.

40. The Prince Who Was Raised Like A Girl

Philippe, Duke of Orleans was the brother of King Louis XIV. To prevent Philippe from threatening his famous brother, Philippe's mother Queen Anne of Austria raised him to be very feminine, calling him “my little girl” and even urging him to dress up in frilly, feminine clothing as a child.

41. History's Most Shocking Sideshow

Tarrare was an 18th-century French showman. His party trick? He obsessively ate everything, and lots of it. His circus act had him eating, among other things, whole live animals, a basket of apples, and even rocks.

42. A "Huge" Claim To Fame

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1950s international playboy Porfirio Rubirosa had such an infamously large "package," Parisian waiters used to call their 16-inch pepper mills "Rubirosas."

43. Tsar Ivan Really Was Terrible

When Tsar Ivan the Terrible saw his pregnant daughter-in-law walking around in clothing that he didn't approve of, he absolutely snapped. He viciously attacked her, causing her to miscarry. When his son came into the room, Ivan also ended up killing him in a fit of rage.

44. But He Wasn't The Only Mad Russian

Anna, the "Mad Tsarina" of Russia, once tormented one of her hated courtiers by locking him up in an ice palace for the night. Before that, she made him pretend to be a chicken, sitting in her ante-chamber and "laying" eggs.

45. King Tut Was The Product Of The Siblings

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King Tutankhamun passed at the tender age of 18. Some researchers believe he died from genetic disease, due to the fact his parents were brother and sister.