Educators Who Taught Future Murders Reveal What They Were Like Before Their Crimes[rebelmouse-image 18348518 is_animated_gif=
It's the gamble educators take. You never know what your students are going to be like until the day they walk through your door. Maybe they'll be beautiful angels. interested in every topic and engaged in every lesson. Perhaps they'll be nightmare children from beyond, haunting your every dream like a leech of disciplinary actions. Teachers and child-care providers can only take these children as they come, but what they can't predict is what happens after those students walk away. Sometimes, even the brightest students can fall to the darkest desires when real life happens. Reddit user, r/FoxMulderOrwell, wanted to know when they asked (Trigger Warning ahead):
[Serious]Teachers who have taught future murderers and major criminals, what were they like when they were under your tutelage?
A Waste[rebelmouse-image 18346777 is_animated_gif=
One of my former students murdered two people, apparently on a drug deal gone wrong. He is now serving life in prison.
I had him in first grade. Sweet kid, highly intelligent. Seriously, he was reading on a third grade level...despite the fact that he came in late every day. Not just ten or fifteen minutes late, usually he would come in around 10:00. Dad was not in the picture (in prison for gang activity) and Mom was unconcerned about his education. I tried everything I could to impress on her just how intelligent her son was and how he had a very bright future but that he needed to be in school. She honestly didn't seem to care. He later dropped out when he was in high school, joined a gang, and things snowballed.
Such a goddamned waste.
When They Were Just Class Clowns[rebelmouse-image 18348519 is_animated_gif=
Ive taught four students who have been involved with murders. 3 killed one guy together and the fourth shot a person at a hotel party and killed them.
I worked at an alternative school so they had behavioral issues. Only one of them struggled academically. They were all class clowns. The one thing that sticks out is that all of them struggled to fit in. They felt like they had something to prove. The three kids came in the day after they committed the murder. You could tell something was off. They left early and later we heard what happened. The whole situation is still really clear in my mind, f_*_ed up stuff.
When It Starts Small And Becomes Something Worse[rebelmouse-image 18348520 is_animated_gif=
When I first started working as the English teacher at a public elementary school in Tokyo, one of the teachers was telling me about how the class's pet dwarf hamster Totoro had gotten out of his cage and accidentally been stepped on. He was a little guy, so it wasn't exactly a bloody scene, but nobody knew who did it, and all the kids were sad.
A few weeks later, one of the other class's pet guinea pig "got out" of his cage and was stepped on as well. Like, stomped flat. Very messy - and someone had clearly used some tissues to clean off their shoes before leaving the room. All of the students wear the same kind of in-school slippers, so it's not like we could go CSI on the situation and figure it out by shoe print, but one of the other teachers noticed that one girl in her class, a fifth grader, had some suspicious reddish smears on the edges of one of her shoes. The girl was called to the office, and parents were called.
The next day, the parents come in, and explain to the principal that they're moving their daughter to a new school. Basically, "she's not your problem anymore, so don't bother trying to call in child counselors or anything." So rather than make a big deal out of it all (which would have been a headache for everyone) the school let it all slide, because the girl was gone.
A few years later, there was a local news story about a Jr. High girl who'd assaulted another student. It sounded like she pushed the other girl down some stairs and then kicked her. They didn't publish names (because she's a minor), but word traveled down the grapevine pretty quickly that it was our former student. I'm not sure what happened to her after that.
Strange Boy[rebelmouse-image 18348521 is_animated_gif=
Taught a boy who was involved in a gang murder. Wasn't the one who did the actual murdering, but was part of the plan and found guilty under group enterprise.
He was a strange, strange boy. Highly disruptive throughout school, very weak academically, and one who always gravitated towards trouble.
When Time Stings[rebelmouse-image 18348522 is_animated_gif=
So, I've taught a couple attempted murderers and quite a few major drug dealers, as well as students that would become accessories to murder (stuff like selling the eventual murderer a stolen firearm), so this isn't going to be super specific to one kid, but here goes:
The ones that truly gangbang hard tend to be the sweetest ones. They'll come up to me and ask how my spring break was, and answer questions in class, and defend me if students give me a hard time. Those ones are usually in too deep because the older heads tell them not to f**k around at school and get as many positive character witnesses as possible when they end up getting caught up. The ones that just joined a gang of their friends and go around selling a little bit of weed act a fool in class, because there's no authority structure telling them the gang doesn't need that kind of negative attention.
I've had heroin dealers in class, and the three or four of them were so kind, but trying to find the human inside them is so hard because of the drug abuse... it's like that episode of Black Mirror with the tiny person living inside their head. You want nothing more than to see them snap out of it, and sometimes they do: we had one of our most serious junkies graduate in December!
The ones who get to me the most are the ones that identify with me and then go out and do horrible things. I'm a younger dude that worked in the music industry so I have a lot of kids that just inherently think I'm cool despite tons of evidence to the contrary, so I'll know a kid for 3 years and love them to pieces and then see them in the paper for aggravated sexual assault. Those ones sting the most.
Sometimes, There's No Surprise[rebelmouse-image 18348524 is_animated_gif=
Had an 8th grader who was a jerk. Wouldn't listen, constantly disrupted the class, and put in little to no effort. Was a bully to the other students. Unfortunetly, our admin at the time was a push over so nothing ever happened when we would refer him or anyone else (one day he came back from the office and I overheard him telling a classmate when asked what happened that the principal "gave him some candy ane sent him back to class."
Cut to 6 years later, see his face on the news being arrested for a gang murder. Not the least bit surprised.
Not Allowed Pencils[rebelmouse-image 18348525 is_animated_gif=
I volunteered a couple of times at an alternative school. One of my pastors was the principal there, so our church youth group would help out from time to time.
I was in a fourth grade classroom and was tasked with helping a boy learn to read. It was basic stuff, cat, dog, ran, etc. He had a task to spell cat and dog, and couldn't or wouldn't try to see the difference. He said he'd never need to know how to read, so why should he? I told him I'd draw some pictures of what the words were next to the words so he could try to memorize them. He said something along the lines of, "If you try to make me do this I'll slit your throat" Note, I am/was a 275 pound dude.
I told the teacher, who told me not to worry, that they check him daily to make sure he's not carrying a knife since he's had a few incidents. Not sure what happened to that kid, nothing good. She'd also previously told me he wasn't allowed pencils or pens and was only allowed to write with crayons due to his violent outbursts. If he's still alive he'd be around 25 now.
When They Get Inside Your Heart[rebelmouse-image 18348526 is_animated_gif=
I teach at a community college where we have a program that allows high school students to take college level courses. One semester, I had a group of promising high schoolers in a 3D modeling class, and one student blew me away right from the start. Less than a week in, he had made this model of Claptrap from the Borderlands game series that was so detailed and perfect that it looked like it was ripped right from the game's assets (though it wasn't; I checked). I could tell right away that this kid was going places.
Well, the next week he wasn't in class. After missing a certain number of days, I'm obligated to call his school to let him know he's at risk of being dropped. Well, it turns out he was in jail. This student was apparently running a Twitter account where he publicly solicited and bribed people for child pornography, with some of the kids being as young as 1 year old.
Things Like Pizza Delivery Go Bad[rebelmouse-image 18348527 is_animated_gif=
I taught at an alternative school for a year. I have several students who later ended up in jail for everything from robbery to murder. Most of them weren't surprising...these were kids who clearly had no family structure or discipline at home. And almost all of them were affiliated with gangs somehow. We even had middle school kids jumped into gangs at the school. But alternative schools get almost no support from anyone but the police. It's basically a step away from jail.
The one who committed murder killed a pizza delivery driver over a drug deal. He was actually somewhat surprising because he was far from the worst kid I dealt with. He was a skinny, nerdy looking kid with braces, but he was hanging out with all the hard gang members too. I dunno, maybe he felt like he had to prove himself.
Nothing Out Of The Ordinary[rebelmouse-image 18348528 is_animated_gif=
When I was a student teacher I taught the younger of the Boston Bomber brothers.
To be honest I barely remember him. When the news broke I had to go back and check old spreadsheets in my laptop to make sure it was actually him.
He was only a freshman at the time. I would say he was a little quiet but nothing out of the ordinary.
Prom Night Turned Terrible[rebelmouse-image 18348532 is_animated_gif=
While I was a student teacher, I taught a young man who planned a school shooting for the night of his prom. He had weapons and apparently fully intended to harm his classmates, but was arrested after he made some alarming comments. He seemed like a nice kid, but very strange and withdrawn. He used to try to make jokes and witty comments, but was just awkward and got shut down a lot. Honestly, he was exactly what you imagine a kid who has been bullied but still tries to make friends would be like. I suspect he was on the spectrum as well, but never diagnosed.
I feel bad for him despite the terrible things he planned to do. His classmates ended up raising a sizable amount of money and donating it to mental health charities, and they did eventually have their prom just before the end of the school year. The student served about six months in prison jail and was given a few years of probation.
Already On The Wrong Path[rebelmouse-image 18348533 is_animated_gif=
I am a teacher now, however I wasn't a teacher when this happened. I was working at a juvenile detention center, which they were saying was a "treatment" center. We were not a facility that held major offenders.
One kid was in there for getting caught with some marijuana. He was in for like 3-6 months, which was harsh for a first time offender, but the judge was notorious for this kind of thing. We had kids from that area who were sent to us after skipping school a few times.
He was really mellow. Liked to play card games and was very mature. When the younger kids would be starting fights or bickering, he would always distance himself and just sort of remove himself from everything.
A year after he left us, he was caught trafficking serious amounts of narcotics. He was sentenced to something like 20 years for that and the various offenses which led up to him getting caught.
Manipulating From A Young Age[rebelmouse-image 18348534 is_animated_gif=
Grade 6. A small boy who talked tough and ran a mini gang of bigger boys. Poor student; the only thing he did well was athletics (amazing runner) but wasn't allowed on the teams because his marks were so bad.
His mother looked about my age and I was an undergraduate student teacher. I got that through word-of-mouth: I never met her because she'd cancel at the last minute any parent-teacher meetings. There were a lot of requests for these meetings. No father figure in his life. Free range kid in the worst sense; couldn't respect anyone more than two years older than him unless they were black or willing to throw down with him right there.
He knew how to manipulate people. He definitely manipulated me. About 10 years later I found out in the news he dropped out of high school to do gang things, and was part of an interview/study on rehabilitating kids like him. I don't buy any of it because it's the same stuff he told me. Also in the news article was that he shot some people in a condo and was later killed in a police shootout.
Straight From Desks To Prison Bars[rebelmouse-image 18348535 is_animated_gif=
I've taught some kids who turned out pretty rotten and you could usually tell by their conduct during high school. However, one that sticks was these two LOVELY siblings. Great students; polite, well-mannered and tried hard academically. Both graduated.
Turns out that in their final years, they joined their father in distributing crystal meth. Straight from high school to prison.
Going Into The Family Business[rebelmouse-image 18348013 is_animated_gif=
Oh. The last one from this one school site. I worked there for 8 years and really loved it. It shaped me as a teacher and I got to work with thousands of amazing kids.
This one kid's dad was in a bike gang. I worked with him for a year as a sophomore. He hated school, the system didn't work for him and even though he acted out a lot and spent a lot of time suspended and expelled for smoking, drugs and kicking off, we maintained a respectful relationship. He barely completed any work the year, but I was just glad he came to classes. I didn't teach him again, but he always stopped for a chat and a bit of banter. He was adamant he didn't want to follow in his Dad's footsteps and started a construction course where he really excelled. He had found something he was naturally talented at.
A few years after he had left school he ended up working for his Dad - both the actual business front and the drugs, weapons and rivalry part. He was stabbed to death in a drug deal gone bad. I didn't go to his funeral as I hadn't seen him for a few years, but I expressed my condolences to his his family and friends. He was 19.
We had discussed the fact that he may end up in jail if he went into the family business - I never thought he wouldn't make it to his 20th birthday.
There For A Day, Memories For A Lifetime[rebelmouse-image 18348026 is_animated_gif=
I was a substitute teacher for a couple years. About two years after I stopped, one of the kids I had went to prison for two counts of attempted murder. The kid was an a**hole and by far the worst kid I had to deal with but nothing that stood out to me as murderer. He was expelled for hitting a girl but that was after I left so I don't know much about it.
Surprising, But Also Not[rebelmouse-image 18348536 is_animated_gif=
I taught a student 6 years ago who recently committed a heinous double murder with 2 accomplices. Home invasion, tortured the middle aged married couple, and came back all weekend undiscovered to loot their home (with the bodies in the house). Police have clear surveillance video. He had apparently just been released from jail too. He was very sheepish about his poor grades and not smart at all. I would go as far to say one of the most illiterate kids I encountered. But he was always polite and respectful...not a trouble maker. He played on the basketball team. Pretty clearly had no support from home.
When I saw his mugshot on tv, I screamed. Surprising but also not I suppose.
Teaching Victim And Murderer[rebelmouse-image 18348537 is_animated_gif=
As a substitute teacher I subbed several classes with a student who would later be responsible for murder. He was certainly an obnoxious character. Loud and disruptive.
I remember subbing him in P.E. He was being overtly aggressive in a game of indoor soccer and other students seemed to avoid him. I'm guilty of being slightly happy when he fell and injured his knee. Later I asked him how his knee was and he seemed caught of guard that I even remembered. I subbed the kid he murdered too. He was also a disruptive kid. I actually remember making him sit in the hall because he couldn't stop talking during a test but other than that he seemed like a nice kid. I even spent some time talking to him. I guess there was some kind of dispute over drugs. The guy beat the other kid to death. I'm not even sure he meant to murder him. He ended up burying him out in the desert and his body was quickly discovered in a shallow grave. Now he's got a life term.
From high school to prison.
All Communications Lost[rebelmouse-image 18348539 is_animated_gif=
One of my former students apparently was involved with selling the drugs that caused an overdose to a musician on a tour stop. Musician died.
I found out by seeing the sceenshots of her admission posted in a large social media group I didnt know we were both part of....
The internet age, right? She was a typical kid with an emo streak, it broke my heart to see this go down because she scrubbed all traces of herself from the internet, havent been able to reach out to her since
Just Trying To Enjoy Michael Scott[rebelmouse-image 18346555 is_animated_gif=
I am late to the party but I have a very serious answer here. I had a group of students that I was very close to. They were all in a gang, what they called the Fo-Deuce (4-2) gang. It was a local member of the Crips. Two of them in particular I took particular interest in, having them in my home for dinner once a week, tutoring them every day after school for all subjects. I picked them up for school and dropped them off every day. I got them both jobs and drove them to work. They had pretty violent backgrounds, but I trusted them. They were like my own children before I had my own, actual children.
Unfortunately, things started going downhill with the older one. He stole from my wife a lot of valuables, then refused to acknowledge he had done anything wrong since he said he needed it more than we did since his lights were off. I put up a pretty strong boundary with him after that and he stopped coming around as much, and started walking to school again, which means he didn't come very often.
The other student, X, had a horrible home. No parents, grandma couldn't really take care of him, siblings in jail or on drugs, etc. I offered to let him live with us for a few months for some reason that I can't remember now. It sounds stupid, but that actually worked out. He never took from us. He was always grateful. His grades went up a bit. He even got jumped out of his gang after I asked him to. It really was a nice beginning.
About 4 to 6 months into him living with us, we were watching The Office, and he was laughing really hard at some joke, when all of a sudden, he stopped laughing, got this real somber look, then got up, went to his room, and wouldn't talk to us. He got up the next morning and told us he wanted to move out. At first he wouldn't tell me why. After a while of pressing him, he said he felt guilty enjoying life while his sister had to live in back with his grandma. He felt he was ready to take care of her, and no amount of me trying to convince him he had to take care of himself first would dissuade him, so he moved out the following week. After he graduated the next year, I changed schools and slowly lost contact with him. He got fired from his job for no-call, no-showing three times in a month. I got him another job but the same thing happened. Finally we lost touch. This was about 7 years ago or so.
About 7 months ago I get an e-mail from a lawyer. He tells me that his client asked him to get in contact with me. It's X. He had been convicted of murder. There is a news article on it, but I don't think I should post it, even though it's public record and all, but he basically walked into a room, shot a guy he had no beef with for no discernible reason to anyone, then walked out without robbing him.
More Than One Problem[rebelmouse-image 18348540 is_animated_gif=
I taught three students that together went on to commit at least one at least locally high-profile murder, and probably others, and will likely die in prison as a result of them.
Two of them are brothers, Adam and Brian.
It became apparent pretty early on that their house had drug issues, and there was some serious neglect going on. Physical abuse, too, from little things the boys let slip. They rarely had lunches, never had winter coats, and their shoes regularly were being glued or duct taped together. They'd talk about fights at their house, drug use, drunk parents, all sorts of things. We reported everything the entire year they were in my classroom, trying to get some intervention (they were actually from a fairly large family, six or seven kids) but it never turned in to anything. As students, they were entitled and did things like cutting in lines, or taking someone else's candy, and rowdy, but not entirely stupid. I think the total lack of discipline at home, never having consequences for not doing homework, was a huge contributing factor to how they ended up.
Adam was not the brightest bulb. He was a follower, for sure, and a little bit of a bully. He'd posture to show off, but if you pressed him, he'd back down. Never had problems with him in the classroom, after the first week, just in the halls, or recess, or at the bus stops. Acted tough, but at least when I knew him, it was a fairly unconvincing act.
Brian was always kind, when neither of the other two co-murderers were around. A really quiet kid, a thinker. But he stuck by his brother like glue. I guess they didn't have much else going for them, nobody else to watch their backs, so they were 100% together in pretty much everything. I really hoped Brian'd end up in a better place. He was brighter, kinder, and patient. Liked to read. I had hope, with him. I thought, if any of them have a chance, it's him.
And if it weren't for the third kid they fell in with, Carl, he probably would have.
Carl was a problem kid, had a file thicker than a dictionary. I saw him stab a kid, for no reason, and then say it was because he wanted to see what happened. We had to remove all scissors from our classroom because he liked to cut things. He threw a desk, once. Mid-story time, no apparent trigger. Just got up, threw it at a girl, and then laughed when she started crying.
He was a nightmare on the bus, on the playground, and so on. He had a recess duty assigned to keep an eye on him, because whether he directly did it or not, kids got hurt when he was around. He talked about killing animals, going hunting, and about doing things like taking people into the woods, getting them really lost, and then leaving them to die. He was a creep. He liked to pick on little girls. Not the ones in his grade, but ones 4 - 5 years younger. He'd corner them and bully them to tears, sometimes physically snatching at their dresses, or pulling their hair. He was awful, and constantly in and out of the principal's office.
Adam worshiped Carl, or followed him around like it, anyway, and Brian, well, he stuck with his brother. It was so sad to see happening. They all lived in the same area, and knew one another outside of school, and I always got the impression that Brian was afraid of Carl.
I know some of the other teachers in the building were. Hell, I'll even admit I was, too. I was on constant guard with him in class. He even in elementary school was fully capable of doing some serious permanent harm, and we all knew it.
Together, while still in high school, they abducted and killed a classmate.
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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