People Share The Early Warning Signs Of An Abusive Partner

People Share The Early Warning Signs Of An Abusive Partner
Image by Лечение Наркомании from Pixabay

Relationships during a honeymoon phase are usually not the best time to really get a sense of the person you're dating.


A person's charm can be deceiving since we're all trying to make a good first impression on one another.

But sometimes, the intense adoration you have for someone can prevent you from seeing who they really are. Hopefully, the person you commit to is not the kind of person who manipulates and abuses you.

Curious to hear about the clues indicating someone may not be who you think they are, Redditor HotfoxK asked:

"What are early signs of an abusive partner?"

Conversation is key to successful relationships. But these kinds of conversations are not the ones you should be having with someone you want to settle down with.

Gaslighting

"Somehow, everything is always your fault and never theirs, and they'll beat you so much with their version of the truth, you start to believe it. They will belittle your argument or dismiss it."

PriorYoghurt

Refusing To Take Responsibility

"Look what you made me do."

gor8884

"Oof this brought back bad memories. My ex would break all the things in his house and hit himself then blame me for it cos I wanted to break up with him."

Some_Milk

No Discussion

"If you cant have a mature conversation about the relationship and what you feel you need without being told you are actually the manipulative one run because they will try to tell you that you are manipulative to manipulate you into never saying your opinion."

Colecypher

Don't Break Up, Or Else

"Threatening to breakup with you after every argument."

Next_Pomegranate

"Worse yet - threatening suicide if you break up with them."

cryosyske

Weary Accusations

"And when you get tired of their bs, they start accusing you of cheating/not loving them anymore. It's truly exhausting and it really messes with your head."

missinguva

Removing Boundaries

"They make you start thinking your boundaries or walls are meant to come down for them - not for you."

DownUnder_D

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Refusing To Apologize

"Your feelings don't matter, and no matter what happens, everything is your fault. You're trying to talk about a problem and by the end of the conversation you're the one apologizing. My ex-boyfriend never once uttered the words, 'I'm sorry' straightforwardly. If anything, it was always, 'I'm sorry you feel that way.'"

adelinalynn

These assertive behaviors are often associated with someone who could be abusive.

Manipulation

"Not taking no for an answer and pushing boundaries - but acting like they're pushing you as a favour to you and it's for your own good."

AMarmaladeSandwich

Being A Puppet

"Controlling behaviour - always assuming control, and undermining your ability to do anything yourself."

TrainingRange

Feeling Insignificant

"When everything you do, they always make it sound like nothing important. Downgrading it, belittling, anything of the sort."

arafille

Being Denied Of Having Options

"Near the end of my last relationship, i couldn't even pick the correct things when grocery shopping. He'd immediately pick it up out of the cart, and then start lecturing me about making sure I'd picked the cheapest option, you could've gotten this instead, put that back we'll get it somewhere else etc. As a grown woman, being lectured about my choice of chicken in the middle of a grocery store was super embarrassing."

"Now, I buy whatever the hell I want and it's amazing how liberating something so simple can feel."

lilyhemmy2009

"Compromise"

"The 'slow erosion of the self' is something that is hard to detect and sometimes the guise it tries to surface as is 'compromise.' Except when you look back you find you're the only one who has made compromises in the relationship."

Inkhappens

Changes In Behavior

"If they behave badly towards the people they feel most comfortable with (parents, siblings, close friends)."

"They may be an absolute angel with you now that you're still in the beginning, but when they get comfortable with you too, they'll treat you the same."

Leading-Legal

No Remorse, Whatsoever

"When they show no pity or remorse for something they did that hurt you. Massive red flag."

CamaraAX19

Crazy Exes

"When every ex is 'Crazy.'"

AdministrativeGap1

"Every ex was crazy. Every boss ever was a d*ck. They didn't graduate, because of that one professor, who hated them after they corrected them on their mistake. Their siblings don't talk to them, because they're jealous of their success. They had friends once, but they were toxic and they don't need that kind of drama in their lives. They don't go to this and this and that place, because the bartenders are awful. Generally, the world is out to get them, because they are too nice."

CarolynEarle

When your friendships become less important than that of your significant other's.

Driving A Wedge

"They will find ways to separate you from friends and loved ones."

ErnestDoodler

"Came here to tell this from personal experience."

"First they always insist to come along when you are going with your friends."

"Then they start sulking and make you feel miserable for bringing them along until you decide not to go."

Indianfattie

"I look back and this is the biggest, brightest flag I missed."

"Ex-boyfriend: (talking to buddies) hey guys watch this. (Turns to me and says) go lay down."

"I left the room and went into the bedroom and laid on the bed... literally was treated like a dog."

bragodouche

Preventing Connections

"Make it difficult for you to meet/connect/spend time with family or friends."

NapendaWatermelon

A Package Deal

"I'd add to this - wanting to always come with you to see these people or showing up to places you didn't invite them to."

DropTheShovel

Of course, we should give the other person the benefit of the doubt when they do or say something off-putting.

But it's important to have mature conversations with your partner – especially towards the beginning of a relationship – if their irrational behavior persists.

If they are not willing to communicate, that's a huge red flag.

Because constantly being told what to do and not being able to see your friends are not ways to be in a loving relationship.

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Customer service jobs are not for the faint of heart.

Dealing with people at their angriest and rudest does not breed a positive work environment.

Customer service can be a downright toxic job.

And if it's not the customers setting your spirit on fire, it's the companies themselves.

Some companies seem to revel in creating discontent.

That's why these types of jobs have such high turnover.

Redditor Psychological-Name15 wanted the customer service reps out there to give us some truths, so they asked:

"Customer service workers of Reddit, what secret can you reveal from your former company?"

I want to know about the inner workings of Comcast!!

I loathe them!

Oh Dear

Jennifer Lopez Smh GIF by American IdolGiphy

I used to work in tech support for Citi Bank. The people working there are not intelligent. My favorite interaction went like this..."

"Banker - How do I type the upside down I?"

"Me - Ma'am, that's an exclamation point."

slappy_mcslapenstein

The Crappy People

"In every CS job I’ve ever had: we will bend over backward to help a nice person. We will expedite any complaint, give maximum compensation, and harass other areas of the business for you."

"We will do the absolute bare minimum to help a shi**y person and if you’re really bad, we will do everything in our power to make sure you get nothing but what you’re legally entitled to and it will be a process to get that."

11catsinahumansuit

"I don’t work in CS but 100% the same for us in IT a nice person will get new stuff while a shi**y person will get questionable secondhand crap that will take 12 months to fix! I will make sure that you wait as long as humanely possible to have anything fixed!"

Sharp-Demand-6614

Go to Holiday Inn

"If you ask for a supervisor calling Marriott you will just get another person who is not a supervisor, but say they are."

cryptnificent

"Yep. I've seen this done numerous times across multiple industries. Usually, it only involves an actual sup if it's a genuine problem or if they want to make a point."

"The last job I had was in towing junk cars. Two of the inside buyers, one male, and one female, would bounce that sup card around constantly. Idk how no one ever put it together. We'd get repeat callers and repeat sellers so I don't know."

ItsBobFromLumbridge

Heartless

"Worked at a contracted call center for Centrelink. The manager told us to deny as many emergency payments as possible and they would back us no matter what. They were actively working towards a culture that despised the callers and churned staff to get heartless right-wingers who hated the poor."

Rizza1122

"I feel ya. My best mate is a quadriplegic. Centrelink denied his disability pension because he wasn’t disabled enough."

Less-Storage

Go to Home Depot

You Are Dumb Patrick Star GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"I worked at Lowes. I didn't know anything about anything in the electrical department yet that's where they put me without any training."

Eattherich187

Not training people is not just a Lowes thing.

There are too many unqualified people doing too many things.

Switcharoo

Drag Race What GIF by TAZOGiphy

"Can confirm it's an unwritten policy for deli departments in Coles Supermarkets to change the written expiry dates on their tickets so they can sell out-of-code products at full price."

REDDIT

A Little Sunshine

"I worked at a call center for the billing department of a major internet and cable service provider. We were authorized to give up to $90 credit per customer on their bill but only as a last resort. Always remember to be nice to all customer service workers. You never know just how much they can help with a friendly attitude."

Axel_Dunce

"Former call center employee here. Highly accurate. Use your manners, and well fix your issue. Anything else, just makes us want to take longer, and you won't get a credit. Just because we are authorized, doesn't mean you'll get the credit for being an a**hat. haha. I've been verbally abused a few times for asking them not to swear at me. Lol."

Ok-Ad-7247

LELU

"I worked for a major telco company for many years in something called a ‘LELU’ which stands for Law Enforcement Liaison Unit. This 'unit' is pretty self-explanatory, but it essentially is a team who worked directly with the police/FEDS to monitor people's information for things such as obtaining communications history of call logs, SMS loss, etc."

"However, most importantly, the software we used, we as agents could directly see all your SMS texts, including MMS and their explicit imagery of whatever you were sending. This would include sexting, naked images, family photos, and everything. There were instances where people abused this position by stalking or 'monitoring' their SO’s comings and going’s."

MidniteMischief

Cookies!!

"I worked at a cafe chain called 'The Cookie Man,' 95% of their cookies arrived in cardboard boxes layered with bubble wrap. The last 5% arrived as pre-made dough that we would bake on-site to make the place smell like fresh cookies."

"I also worked at a cupcake shop. It's literally just packet mix that you add eggs and oil to before baking/piping pre-made icing onto. Don't waste your money on these places, 90% of these chain shops are the same and most are severely underpaying their workers (this is for Australia btw). Just purchase some packet mix from the supermarket and call it a day."

Frequent-Selection91

Look in the Back

"I was a Store Manager for a very large grocery chain and I can tell you that 95% of the time when customers complain to the manager, we may be professional and show empathy, and even resolve the problem."

"But then we usually just make fun of or talk crap about the person who complained to the other employees. And when a customer is really rude when we go 'look in the back' for something, we legit just stand around and talk to other employees, and make zero effort to look for the item."

A_Womans_Thoughts

From the Box

Kaitlin Olson Brunch GIF by The MickGiphy

"I once worked at 'the area's premiere day spa'; the mimosas were made with Sunny D and not real orange juice, and the wines came out of a box."

SailorVenus23

Sunny D and champagne?!?!

What in the name of Lucifer?

Who does that?!

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.