You don't need to be a Dungeons & Dragons expert to appreciate savage game play when you see it. But to the people who play in these digital worlds, do you ever think - could *we* be nothing more than someone's avatar, existing only for entertainment?
IllGandalf73 asked DnD players of Reddit: What's the most awesome or evil thing you've ever accomplished?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
10. I want an elephant.
One of my party members bought an elephant, but we needed to travel by boat and needed to sell it. Elephants weren't exactly common in the city we were in, but they also weren't in demand. So I (Bard w/ Disguise Self and Actor feat) went to the local stable posing as a noble's servant desperately looking for an elephant for his master's son's birthday. I told him money was no object. He told us that he heard of an elephant in another city, so I told him that I would go there, but would be in town for a few days while arranging travel.
A couple of days later, we had the owner of the elephant go to the stable looking to sell. The stable master saw the opportunity for profit and tried to buy at cost. I was in another disguise, pretending to be someone who had heard of the noble's search, and started a bidding war with the stablemaster. Once the price reached 500, I told him that I would buy it for that price, but I would need a day to gather the money. Stablemaster offered to buy it for 480 right now, and he agreed. And then we got on the boat and left.
Stablemaster latered hired some mercenaries to try to track us down when he figured out he'd been swindled, but I used another disguise self to make them think they were following the wrong group.
9. Defeated at your own game.
A few years ago, I played in a Pathfinder campaign as a lawful good sorceror with a long story arc in which I fully intended he would fall into evil. I used his bloodline (Infernal? Can't remember the name) as the basis for this. I played for several months, becoming a little more evil and unpredictable every session, until I had to quit the game due to some other commitments. The GM and I agreed that my character suddenly just vanished without a word to the rest of the party, under suspicious circumstances.
Several months later they were winding up the campaign and the GM invited me back to play in the final session. They were up against an evil spellcaster who was terrorizing the frontier area they were trying to settle/civilize. GM didn't tell the other players I was coming back - he had the (never seen before) NPC lure them into a trap, while I waited outside the room. On his signal, I strolled casually into the room, in character, and revealed myself as the bad guy they'd been hunting. And then proceeded to try to murder the sh*t out of them. It almost worked, too. But they got in a couple opportune crits and, well, good prevailed in the end. Too bad, really.
Best one I've read so far.
On his signal, I strolled casually into the room, in character, and revealed myself as the bad guy they'd been hunting. And then proceeded to try to murder the sh*t out of them.
Never played any DnD or Pathfinder, but I love this.
We just did this to our players! A player had to leave but we brought her back electronically for the final session as a villain. She had got her powers from the BBEG initially (unknown to her) and we played it off that. The players ended up redeeming her, it was super fun!
This was waaaay back in college. We were a low level party, most of us were new to the game, and we were attacked by ogres. The battle went on forever, but things were looking grim for us once the cleric went down. A few rounds later and the ogres were dead, but everyone but one character was down. I was playing this character for a guy who ended up leaving for an emergency. He had no healing magic.
After everyone was bandaged, I looked to the nearby cave for shelter. We realized there were likely ogre children in there. Nobody could figure out how to tell if anyone was still in there, and how to get them out if they were. I had 2 hit points, and any real fighting would likely end the whole adventure.
I told the DM that I cut off the head of one of the dead female ogres, rolled it in like a bowling ball, and braced myself at the mouth of the cave for back-stabbing bonuses. They ran out screaming, and were killed quickly.
The DM looked at me chuckling as others (new to the game) were shocked by this. "You are a cold motherf*cker," he said.
7. The perfect crime.
I stole from and killed a smith, blamed it on another smith in town, and then stole his stuff while he was being hanged.
That's pretty f*cked up 😂
6. Methodical madness.
I think one of my favorite moments was what I've come to call the Rat Swarm Meat Grinder story.
We were a relatively high-ish level party (low teens or so) and were exploring a dungeon. I forget exactly what class I was playing (it was out of one of the weird side books, gotta love 3.5e having hundreds of those) but it was a sort of Ranger/Rogue hybrid so I was generally leading the pack. We hit the end of a corridor and opened the door, revealing a massive Dire Rat Swarm. The intent of the encounter would be us fighting it off while it chased us back down the corridor we'd come from, lest we be entirely... well, swarmed.
I should take a moment here to explain a quirk of basically every character I play. I make a point to always, always buy a small Bag of Holding and fill it with caltrops. It's relatively cheap and infinitely useful to have on hand in those kind of quantities.
I instantly declare I want to roll a reflex save to chuck my Bag of Holding into the room and shut the door, which the DM has me do two rolls for. Nailed the roll for chucking the bag, and hit a 20 on the door-shut part of the action. My argument being that the swarm is a constantly moving entity, so the caltrops were basically going to turn that room into a giant meat grinder, since the swarm was always shifting or moving and would always be taking damage from the caltrops.
We avoided a pretty major encounter in the dungeon with full credit... though opening the door still resulted in my character basically getting bathed in a mix of ground up rats and caltrops, since we still had to move forward in the dungeon.
Less elaborate but still awesome was the time I nailed a triple-crit on a boss during an attack of opportunity. While blind.
Well, I know what's going in my next character's inventory.
I always made sure to have a bunch of random adventuring stuff with me. I actually made sure to go through the tools section and have a good spread of just generic useful sh*t with me. DM's love when you pay attention to detail like that.
I'll try to keep this short.
We were a low level party. I was playing a rogue, David was playing a warlock, and Michael was a fighter. The quest was to get a spellbook from a wizards tower.
We broke in and the fighter failed the stealth check. The warlock was killed by magical rugs that smothered him. David was pretty upset because it was our FIRST session, so he and the DM stepped outside for a few minutes after combat.
When they came in, the DM said that the wizard was walking downstairs. I hid around the corner and used sneak attack to hit him for like 30 points of damage. Insta kill.
Turns out, while outside, the DM said that David could play the wizard as his character had just died. Until I killed him. Whoops.
4. Now it's stuck in my head.
My friend was introduced to DnD while he was away for school. His roommate was an avid player who taught him the ropes.
When he came back, our friend group got together to start a campaign. So we have a mildly experienced DM and four PC's who have no idea what they are doing. However, we are all having a great time, especially me.
Since I was playing a bard, I decided to step it up by bringing an instrument to our second session but the only thing I could find was a finger piano.
So fast forward to the middle of our session, we are fighting some zombies and I use bardic inspiration for one of my party members. Now, everyone was expecting me to sing (It's the way I am and they know me very well ) so I have everyone's eyes on me. I reach into my bag under the table, whip out my finger piano, and play the chord progression to 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' while singing a totally improvised song consisting of the lyrics: "Please don't die."
Later in that session, we were at a bar and there was a fight-cage where a bear was fighting a dwarf. The betting odds were something like 100:1 for the dwarf to win so, naturally, we all placed bets on the dwarf. When the fight started, the bear was kicking some dwarf butt so our warlock used mage hand and a successful stealth roll to rig the fight and make us all very rich.
I'm part of a live improvised D&D stage show in Milwaukee. (Not a traditional D&D campaign but close enough). Each show is it's own story, audience chooses names, classes, etc. for each improviser, as well as a location and villain. Our GM/host and I split NPC duties and he narrates/guides, while I improvise background music on keyboard.
So this particular show, the audience designates one of our players as a cleric who serves a thunder god. The plot gets to a point where the party is defending a small village against a horde of oncoming enemies, who are due to arrive the next day. So our GM gives everyone a chance to do a training/prep montage, sharpening weapons, preparing potions, etc. Our thunder cleric decides to go a cliff on a nearby mountain to commune with his god. Our GM sets him up. "What is your prayer?"
Now, normally I keep the music atmospheric- slow and creepy for suspense, fast paced battle music, etc. But once in a while, when the moment's right (and if I know the chords) I'll throw in a pop song reference. This was one such moment. As the player begins his prayer, I softly begin to play the opening riff of AC/DC's "Thunderstruck." Thunder cleric goes on, building in volume and intensity, and ends up delivering an epic f*cking speech about how much ass we were going to kick in the thunder god's name. All the while I stick with that same riff, and everyone in the audience is chanting "THUNDER!" and stomping their feet along to the beat. I was getting goosebumps, it was f*cking METAL.
We won the battle, of course, but it was the lead-up that was the height of the show for all of us.
TLDR; friends and I brought the house down with an epic speech set to "Thunderstruck" in a live D&D show.
Appearently, in hob-goblin culture, if you kill a women's husband, she becomes your wife. Well, one time my party was attacked by a group of hob-goblins. I killed one (not knowing it at the time) I killed one, and it turns out he had a wife... who was pregnant. Yeah. I had a set of hob-goblin triplets whose mom died in childbirth. But I turned them into a trio of bards, so it was cool.
Was their band called 'Feed after midnight'?
No, we ended up just quitting the campaign before the lives of my "children" went into detail, because our DM constantly wants to switch campeigns, basically every session is a new campaign, and it's annoying because yhe one I mentioned, was my first, and favorite session/campaign
1. Poison most foul.
Had a rogue in our party. Every person we met and needed something from kept dying. Everywhere we went, NPCs dropped like flies. DM kept having us roll at random times, so we knew something was up.
Turned out finally the rolls were to see if any of us noticed the rogue poisoning everyone. I mean EVERYONE. He had worked out a signal with the DM for when he wanted to kill someone, and he got away with it forever. We didn't realize his rolls were for if the poison worked, ours were for if we noticed. He finally rolled a one, the NPC noticed what he was doing, and the plot was exposed.
Turned out he was a spy working for the main bad NPC. When we asked why he didn't just try to kill us and not just those helping us, he said "what makes you think I haven't tried?" Lol
Being woken up suddenly is not very good for our health.
Especially for the elderly, it's not something to make a habit of. Sleep interruption can increase blood pressure, cause a worsened self image, and cause a day filled with irritation and confusion.
No one wants to be woken up, but there are definitely some reasons for being woken up that are worse than your alarm clock.
We went to Ask Reddit to find out some of the worst reasons people have been woken up.
Redditor Toothpiicxxk asked:
"What's the worst reason you woke up?"
These truly are the worst.
We love our pets, but sometimes not so much.
"My cat was throwing up right next to me."
"She brought you breakfast how cute."
"I was just about to answer that my cat threw up right on me, specifically my hair, which I had just washed..."
Some horrible news hits you.
"Being woken up to be told someone you know died certainly qualifies."
"Or when you already know, but you wake up in that ignorant bliss that lasts for about a second and then it hits you. And this goes on for a long time."
"It's been about 15 years and I still will wake up on occasion thinking I have to tell my older brother something cool that I know he'd love to hear about. Or have a vivid a** dream about how it was all an mistake and he's still here. Happens less often then it used to but oof does it ever still hurt."
"Woke up at about 3am to a cop repeatedly ringing my bell. my mom had accidentally drowned in the tub. she was really weak from chemo."
"Woke up to a phone call telling me my incredible brother-in-law had been hit and killed by a drunk & high driver, his wife was also expected to pass as her neck had been broken, and their kids were both in surgery. My husband and I were in the will to get the kids, so we needed to fly to Chicago right away. As I sat there in shock, I hung up the phone, turned to see my sleeping husband snoring away, and knowing I would now have to wake him up to tell him the worst news he would ever hear."
2018 false missile alert.
"I live in Hawaii, that time we got the missile scare."
"Oof at least it wasn't real but I would have definitely panicked if that was me."
"Damn, I slept straight through it. My mom literally woke me up, told me; and I still went back to sleep."
"What were you supposed to do? Go outside and witness your annihilation?"
"I think it's the right thing to do to inform people even if there isn't necessarily anything that can be done about it."
"Some people would appreciate being able to conduct prayers, get one last hug with their loved ones, etc."
"Cockroach walking on my lips with no shame. I brutally murdered it as soon as I yeeted it halfway across the room."
"I had a weird dream about a cockroach somehow paralyzing a friend then walking towards me in that same room. Then I awoke to find this a**hole cockroach slowly creeping on my lips."
"When I threw it away, what startled me was it did not panic AT ALL. It even slowly headed towards me!"
"I also mouth washed and brushed my teeth and even disinfected my lips with alcohol. It was a surreal experience."
"I seriously loathe roaches and there's no other way to ensure its death than a brutal one."
Screams in the night.
"One time I got woken up by a blood curdling scream in the middle of the night. I live alone and it also woke up my dog who was freaked out the rest of the night. Searched everywhere including outside and didn't find anything."
"Well that was lucky. Imagine what would have happened if you had found it..."
"Hopefully a fox, coyote, cat, or cougar."
"Being clearly asleep, and then someone wakes you to ask, 'Are you asleep?'"
"Bruh my mom be like [this]."
"The only correct answer to this question is 'yes.'"
"I woke up to my mom calling me sobbing because she thought I had died, I was 10 hours away and my blood sugar was severely low and wasn't answering any calls, that was horrifying."
"We've learned what does and doesn't work for waking me up in a medical emergency."
"Blood sugar can be a b*tch, found my mum having a really bad hypo while sleeping when I was a toddler and for years and years after would wake her up to check she was okay without realizing I was doing it for that reason. Glad you're okay!"
Something so relatable.
"My alarm rung. It's a daily struggle."
We've all been there.
If you're not a morning person, waking up in the morning can already be a challenge, but no one wants to get woken up to horrible news or an emergency.
In fact, we should be waking up naturally with our own personal sleeping patterns.
We all know that's easier said than done.
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People have a habit of excusing crap behavior - honestly because it's often easier in the short term. Long term = flaming dumpster fire.
The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
... and away we go.
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humorseason 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy
" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy
" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"new girl coach GIFGiphy
" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting ProblemsLeave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy
"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your BossThe Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day AgainBad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy
" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An ExcuseSeason 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy
"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna FloridaLooney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy
"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.
We live in a time where we are critically re-examining how we pay workers. After a two-year-long pandemic where some low-income and "unskilled" jobs were deemed "essential," we now must put our money where our mouth is.
For too long in the world have incredibly important jobs been overlooked or else outright maligned. Teachers in the USA make some of the least money, career-wise, and have some of the hardest jobs. Dancers pay to put their bodies through hell with no guarantee of paid work after training.
So how do we fix this problem? By naming it, of course.
Redditor u/NightReader5 asked:
"What professions are severely underpaid?"
Here were some of those answers.
Our Elderly Deserve Better
"I worked as a CNA in a nursing home and I loved it. It's such hard work for such little pay and that's why I had to leave."
"Not only that but I was a rare person in that I LOVED caring for the residents. Nothing was beneath me such as changing a dirty diaper or spoon feeding."
"Everything helped their quality of life. Sucks they can't keep people that genuinely enjoy it cause I couldn't make over $10 an hour."-Dancer9d9
"Came here to say this: Emergency Medical Technicians. I will never not be just a bit salty about this."
"My husband is one of those people who does this job because it's his passion and he loves helping people."
"It would be nice if he earned more than the kid who just got hired at McDonald's this morning."-ThePotterheadHobbit
High School Bathrooms....
"The janitors at my high school. I walked in the men's bathroom there once and there was a mega-giant steaming pile of crap and diarrhea right in the middle of the floor."-satanic-sex-god
"Anyhow. Are you sure that was a high school? We're talking grades 9-12 here, right?"-VoicedVelarNasal
"Unfortunately yes. Other highlights of my oh so great high school men's bathroom that contains teenagers from 14 to as old as 20 are:"
"A dude bringing a sledgehammer to school and smashing a sink, the toilets being blown up, the toilets being frequently clogged with trash..."
"Smashed beer bottle glass covering the floor, and a centimeter of pee flooding the bathroom whenever you walk in. I hate it here."-satanic-sex-god
You know immediately YOU might not want to do this job--so why is someone else getting paid next to nothing to do it?
The More You Help Others The Less You Get Paid
"Statistically speaking, any job that provides significant social benefit to others, the less you will get paid, something that David Graeber discusses in essays and his work, Bullsh*t Jobs."
"This is so sad. I'm currently in a job that pays very well, I just dont find any meaning or fulfillment with it. I want so badly to do something where I'd be helping others- something with purpose- but I honestly dont think I can afford it."-mko0njo9
"Social workers. Dealing with negligent, abusive parents while trying to help the children while in an underfunded, low-paid system is a travesty."-ZRX1200R
"Can also confirm. I like working with my family's but I don't get paid enough to deal with their crap or most of the bureaucracy."-Altowhovian93
Minimum Wage To Go Against FIRE
"Entry level wildland firefighters. They start them at $15 an hour."-NuclearEyedSquirrel
"I live in a small town in Ohio and I think the lowest starting wage I've seen was 11."
"That's the low side and those places are having trouble hiring because there's so many places paying higher. McDonald's here starts at 13 or 14 an hour."-rjoh4459
One Kid, One Para
"Paraprofessionals. Yea, my town increased the pay rate for paraprofessionals to get more people to apply since they have a shortage but the pay increase was not that good IMO."
"For that job, I think you need to be compensated for the physical and mental demands of the job."
"It's a hard job and they should be paid for the work, the pay rate in my community for the job with 60 credits is $14.50 but I think it should be more than that."-YourQueen2Bee
The question then becomes, why won't the people who HAVE money do something to help the quality of these jobs, and make sure that these people get paid?
"Everything in veterinary medicine. Kennel technicians, Veterinary assistants, Veterinary technicians, Veterinary receptionists, and Veterinarians."-aIsiduous
"Veterinary interns/residents, too. I work 70-120hrs+ per week, am on call about half the days per month, have to pay for my own board exams and accreditation fees out of pocket, and all for ~$33,000 per year."-WyrdHarper
"It's bullsh*t. There's nothing on this planet I want to do more than be a veterinarian, but I simply cannot afford the debt. Hopefully one day we'll get the recognition deserved. Stick in there, I know you got this!"--aIsiduous
In The Classroom
"I work in a special school, I love it but I really don't think we get paid enough for all the times we get yelled at, punched, kicked, bit, spat on, cursed at, have our classrooms trashed, have things thrown at us..."
"And then we also have parents making demands and admin telling us their 'simple' solutions to all of it that we have to carry out while they have zero clue on what it's actually like to spend a day in the classroom."-Sajiri
A Morbid State Of Affairs
"Funeral directors/embalmers/funeral professionals. We didn't get days or holidays off to begin with. Now the pandemic has stretched us to working double overtime, which we are exempt from getting paid for under Florida statutes."
"And forget hazard pay for being exposed to COVID multiple times a day every day via the deceased, the deceased's family members, the general public attending funerals, and the hospital/nursing facilities we remove decedents from."-Lesscute
So why are we holding off on giving these people a raise? Their jobs involve dangerous, mentally and emotionally taxing situations, and yet, we treat them as if society could function without them. The truth is it couldn't.
And society had best learn that as soon as possible.
What causes a small town to die?
Honestly, there can be quite a few factors, but perhaps the biggest one is that small towns often lack the upward mobility opportunities that are more available in urban areas.
As a result, many towns around the United States for instance have lost tens of millions of people as their populations seek jobs and opportunities elsewhere.
And what remains of these places can be pretty sketchy.
People told us more after Redditor RadicalizedSnackWrap asked the online community,
"What's a super sketchy US city that we never hear about?"
"Daytona Beach, FL. Imagine a bunch of alcoholic high school kids who came for spring break in 1984, and never left, and never grew up."
Oh, I don't have to imagine it.
I've seen it!
I lived in a neighboring town for a while and bodies would always turn up in farmer's fields that the cartel in Yakima had dropped off there."
Sounds like Netflix needs to get its hands on Yakima, a new show to go against Ozark.
"I remember a story..."
"Guntersville, Alabama. If I were to ballpark it, over 80% of the population are meth addicts and traffickers.
I remember a story where a man walked into the Walmart, took all the supplies and equipment required to cook, and proceeded to cook meth in the bathroom."
"A run-down town..."
"Reading, PA. A run-down town that is mostly used as a central point to run drugs between New York and Philly."
I am writing this from right nearby actually, and I can smell it from here.
"Small town almost entirely..."
"Butte, Montana. Small town almost entirely comprised of violent meth heads."
"More of a town than a city..."
More of a town than a city, but it's such a weird place, bordering on Twilight Zone. You'll see a meth house right next to a youth theatre."
According to a friend I have who spent a lot of time in Arizona, this sounds about right.
"Used to have..."
"Gary, Indiana. Used to have a prosperous steel economy, but now it's just home to abandoned buildings, failing infrastructure, and lots and lots of crime. Just look up pictures."
"I always said..."
"Amityville. Yes, that Amityville.
I always said the "Amityville Horror" house is for amateurs. You want something scary, put on a nice watch or a gold chain and wander around downtown Amityville after dark."
I went there once.
I have not been back.
"It looks harmless..."
"Harrisburg PA. It looks harmless and maybe a little boring but holy hell that place is a giant puddle of corruption just waiting for someone to step in it. Not just state government, there's a bunch of layers you can use to crawl up the corruption ladder."
"Used to be..."
"Natchez, Mississippi. Use to be the headquarters for the KKK. Not much there besides crackheads, plantation homes, and European tourists. Don't own a nice place if you're black, you'll be stopped by the police and questioned."
It doesn't look any of these are changing anytime soon, and that's sad.
Have some small towns to tell us about? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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