JOIN
OUR EMAIL LIST!

I was once walking to school during a light snowfall when I fell and busted my butt all over the pavement because I decided to skip through a snowbank.

Clearly I was not meant to frolic like some character out of a musical, but damn it, I still try!

After Redditor joshgutcher asked the online community, "What's the dumbest way you've ever injured yourself?" people were open to sharing the moments when they both hurt and downright embarrassed themselves.


"I pretended..."

i pretended like i was gonna fall down the stairs and i ended up falling down the stairs.

Anti-Hobknocker

"When I was a kid..."

When I was a kid I would go for walks with my mom on the ranch. I would protect her by fighting off the bad guys (cactus). I had a garden trowel I was using as a "sword". I thrust my "sword" into my foe, and it fought back. I had a cactus thorn go all the way through my thumb. My mom (a nurse) couldn't get it out, my grandma (a doctor) couldn't get it out, ended up going to the ER to have it removed.

shawworx

"Just to make it even better..."

You know how they say that you shouldn't unplug devices by yanking on the cord because it's bad for the plug?

It's also bad for your forehead.

I was rushing out the door to go to work and yanked my laptop power supply cord out of the wall. The plug flew up and pronged me right in the forehead right between my eyes.

All three of the prongs were very clearly visible and each was bleeding.

But, to make it even better, I didn't even have to tell people what had happened. The first guy to notice it scowled for 5 seconds and then said, "Did you hit yourself in the face with a power cord plug?"

"Yes. Yes, I did."

roman_fyseek

"When I was like 4..."

When I was like 4 I was just tossing pebbles over our fence. No big deal. My mom ran in the house to grab something super quick. During that time I picked up a brick, tossed it in the air and watched it come down and hit me in the head. Definitely a hospital trip.

themistermango

"At 5..."

At 5 I was walking around my aunts pool at her apartment complex in California (family members wedding). There was an earthquake the day before and one of those metal grates on the ground had shifted ever so slightly to not be noticeable but enough to not hold anymore. I stepped on it and fell about 10 feet to the bottom. Caught my chin on the steel ladder. Stitches, knocked out, and broken feet. Not a great vacation for me.

themistermango

"I was told by my father..."

I was told by my father to prune the walnut saplings in the yard. They were springy and young, about 15' tall. I had the bright idea of "instead of climbing a ladder, I'll throw a cable around the top and stake them down. Then I'll prune them and let them spring back up." Well, my "brilliant" idea worked like a charm until about three trees in. I stepped over the cable and the stake came out of the ground caught me behind the knees, jerking me across the yard like the world's fattest, whitest Yo-Yo. Wound up with pulled muscles and a fractured vertebrae. On the plus side, from that point on my dad pruned the trees himself.

darthbiscuit80

"At a comedy show..."

At a comedy show the guy sitting in front of me was so fat his back spilled into my leg room and I had to sit with my legs so far open I pulled a groin muscle.

greendale7

"The heat adjuster..."

Back in December of 2018 I slept with one arm on my radiator. Woke up with a huge burn on my upper arm, which scarred badly.

Then, end of April 2020 I slept with one arm on my radiator. Woke up with an even bigger burn over the top of my previous burn, which is still yet to heal and will likely scar even worse.

The heat adjuster on my radiator is broken...

Tiger-Tom

"There was a macaw parrot..."

There was a macaw parrot in a pet shot and I often saw the owner of the pet shop sticking out his tongue and the parrot would gently nibble it with its beak. I tried the to do the same, but the evil parrot bit right through my tongue. I was rushed off to the hospital with blood pouring like a waterfall.

I have never repeated that stupidity and learned that you simply cannot trust animals. Always be careful.

LubedAndWaiting

"I was scratching my nose..."

I was scratching my nose and somehow managed to jam my finger into my eye as hard as I could. I don't even know how I managed to do it. I couldn't recreate it if I tried. I have really long natural nails too so I sliced my eye open and gave myself a massive eyeball bruise.

It looked absolutely grotesque for a week. The entire white of my eye was a brilliant piss-yellow centered around a big bloody spot. It made me sick to look at it.

maddomesticscientist

Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "🤐" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Image by Sammy-Williams from Pixabay

When a movie rakes in a ton of cash at the box office, the studio that made it has only one thing on its mind: "How do we keep shaking this money tree?"

Unfortunately, that means they make sequels, sometimes sequels on sequels on sequels.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Henryk Niestrój from Pixabay

Oftentimes I like to do my best Ghostface impression and aggressively ask people what their favorite scary movies are. Because I personally have a lot! At the same time, I'm also terrified that at any point, I could end up getting my head punched off by Jason Vorhees (Part 8 of the series--best one IMO).

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Sammy-Williams from Pixabay

I hate hypocrites. They are the bane of my existence. All you have to do is stand behind your words. How hard is that? You said them. I especially get peeved when people bloviate on a topic and condemn and holler but then when it comes to them doing it... silence.

Redditor u/ErrForceOnes wanted to know about the moments people chose to curiously "pay no mind" by asking... What is a GIANT hypocrisy that no one seems to mind?
Keep reading... Show less