Listen, I am in absolutely no position to mock anyone for believing something silly well past when they should have. I believed the moon followed me around like a space-puppy til I was about 12.
So when one Reddit user asked:
What's the dumbest thing you actually believed?
It was kind of nice to see a bunch of fellow self-professed cabbageheads just own it. "Yeah, I was kind of a moron. Here's how..."
No shame. Believing you're the moon princess can happen to the best of us.
Pig Toes
I was once told that (British TV presenter) Jeremy Beadle's hand had such small fingers because of a condition (poland syndrome) that meant he had to have his fingers replaced, and that his fingers were, in fact, pigs toes.
For years, this was a piece of obscure general knowledge that I would break out when i felt the need to display the breadth of my weird knowledge.
And it went down really well until the days someone finally said "Don't pigs have hooves?"
I don't know that I have ever experienced such a moment of butt-clenchingly cringey embarrassment
Cursing Santa's Name
college accuse GIFGiphyI grew up in a Jewish household but was aware of the whole Christmas thing. It was my understanding that Santa would go around bringing gifts to kids if they left out a plate of cookies and some milk for him. Seemed easy enough!
'Twas the night before Christmas and I left the perfect food arrangement out for Santa, thinking in spite of my religious beliefs, he might leave me a gift in exchange for the snacks. When I awoke the next morning, the cookies and milk were gone but no present was left. I was a FURIOUS. How dare this jolly fat man come into my whole, steal my food and not leave anything in return! I spent years complaining about it and would curse the mans name if I saw him.
Of course years later my dad admitted that he had eaten everything. Thanks Dad.
Oh Johnny
That being named Johnny was a sin...
There's a part of the song The Devil Went Down to Georgia that goes "My names Johnny and it might be a sin, but I'll take your bet"
I instantly associated the name with being the sin, not making bets with the literal devil. This made me think kids named Johnny were sons of devil worshippers.
I was a very dumb kid.
Hollywood Secrets
I used to be so confused about the amount of time it would take to make movies because I was convinced they did it all in chronological order and when they did flashbacks to childhood, I was like "wow those actors are so committed" 😂
or I would think it must take a long time for their hair to grow or change in anyway and never considered it could be a wig lol
I used to think that they cast people into TV shows and movies by finding people with the character's names on the street and having them act. Thought this for a good few years until a Disney channel actress appeared on a different show with a different character and I found out her name was neither of the characters'.
Raw Sugar
I thought sugar grew in sugar caves, similar to salt caves. I believed that sugar crystals (like rock candy) just grew in caves and there were parts of the world with beautiful crystallized sugar caves.
When I was growing up, my parents always have these crystal sugar sticks to use in their tea and I guess as a kid, I just believed this was sugar in it's *raw* form. Especially as it looked like the rock crystals. I've never thought about it or questioned it as the topic of sugar origins never got brought up.
I was 25 years old when I brought it up in conversation with my fiancé. I tried to prove to him they were real and it was when I reached my 4th page on Google, I realized my whole world was a lie. I didn't stop there either. I started looking through Google images after but no luck (obviously). Maybe I should have gone on Bing...or Ask Jeeves?
Imagine someone telling you that something you always believed wasn't right, like wool came from trees not sheep, wouldn't you be on the 4th page of google too?
Many people have been asking why I didn't learn about this at school as sugar canes as there were sugar plantations during American slavery. I grew up in the UK and unfortunately we're not taught about American history or the slave trade in history. I know loads about the Tudors though. I will do more research and educate myself on this as I knew about cotton plantations but not sugar cane plantations.
- Eviezz
Religious Choices
I was convinced that Greeks still worshipped Zeus and other gods for awhile after I heard the word Greek Orthodox Church as a kid.
This reminds me of another stupid thing I believed!
When I was in middle school I watched a documentary about gothic churches. I believed that goth was a religion! I asked a couple goth friends at the time about their religion. They played along for awhile that day, until finally I realized they were laughing at me.
I later realized "gothic" is describing the architecture of the church. My friends never let me live that one down!
Dinner Disasters
That dark meat and white meat come from 2 different birds.
I was 12 when they asked me, as they did each year at Thanksgiving, which kind of meat I wanted. That year, I said, "Dark meat, please.... but I feel bad I'm the only one who really eats it and you always have to get an entire second Turkey just for me."
I'm still teased about it to this day... at 46 years old.
That reminds me of 4 year old me that hated celery but after my mum told me that these green things on my plate were actually 'italian well crabs' i ate it like candy. My sister still makes fun of me 17 years later.
Underwater Essences
That I could smell something while underwater.
When I was around 10/12 years old I was in a tropical themed water park where also happened to be a herbal bath. It smelled very nice, which I had not expected. Most of the tropical plants were fake plastic plants, so I figured the water in the bath was normal swimming pool water and the smell was coming from something else.
The bath was surrounded with a small aromatic herb garden which didn't look fake. I sneakily took a sample from a thyme plant that felt surprisingly real. But because the air was filled with all the different aromas and a hint of chlorine I couldn't smell anything different when I tried to smell the thyme. I figured the only place where my sense of smell couldn't be fooled by any fakery was underwater. For 5 seconds I actually felt pretty smart.
Until I tried.
I found out it doesn't work like that. As soon as the water entered my nose I noticed the flaw in my plan and the irony of it all. My head came up immediately, all while laughing (because I felt so smart with my waterproof plan a second ago) and coughing, which only made it worse and resulted in another gulp of water going in the opposite direction.
The Bled Talk
I thought guys got periods too, but only once, and you bled and then you were able to impregnate someone.
I cut my upper leg during a rugby match and was bleeding near my groin and was devastated because I thought everyone would presume I had my period mid-match and also subsequently would be walking around able to impregnate people.
Worst thing is, I wasn't even a stupid kid - we literally just lived in a reserved country and I was living full-time as a boarder at my school, so I never got 'the talk'.
Anyway, thanks for attending my Bled Talk.
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Diners have their favorite restaurants to go to when they don't feel like preparing dinner at home after a long day at work.
There's something comforting about hitting your go-to dining establishment and greeting familiar faces and favorite entrees.
And while customers are quick to rave about and recommend the restaurants to friends and family, they can be just as passionate about the places they avoid like the plague for various reasons.
Curious to hear about these nightmare establishments, Redditor PuzzleheadedFix8972 asked:
"What restaurants do you refuse to go to and why?"
For most Redditors, buffets are a no-go.
A Customer's Touch
"Golden Corral. Walked into one once in Florida. A small kid walking past the food bar was putting his hand in every tray he passed. Out we go."
– Ardothbey
"I am mildly surprised Golden Corral wasn't a victim of the pandemic. Like who on earth would eat there from March 2020 on?"
– Robbylution
The Buffet Worker
"I knew a girl who worked at a buffet. On busy days they would have an employee hover looking for gross people. People using the serving spoon to take a little taste to see if they like it, grab food try it and don't like it and put it back, fingers in pudding all kinds of nasty sh*t. I don't eat at them anymore."
– Yaniji1923
Pro Tip
"Go right when they first open. Actually, show up before they open and be the first one in, that’s about as close to safe as you can be."
– YoghurtSnodgrass
Chain restaurants are not any better according to these folks.
Boo To Applebee's
"Applebee’s - was a fry cook there."
– Jfonzy
"Was a server there. What a temple to mediocrity."
– budda_belly
"Applebee's - when I'm too lazy to use my own microwave."
– FlattenInnertube
Fallen Quality
"Panera Bread, extremely overpriced, bland food."
– wyoflyboy68
"Thing is it used to be really good. Then they got bought by a VC and did a speed run into serving the cheapest, food-like meals ever to squeeze as much margin as possible out of the place."
"It’s like that scene in The Founder when his future wife convinced Ray Kroc to sell powdered milkshakes instead of the real deal. The VC that bought Panera did that with the entire menu."
– Doctor_Kat
People Don't Go For The Food
"Hooters. Waiting 45 minutes for a hamburger and baked beans and then immediately having diarrhea doesn't do anything for me."
– bravesgeek
"It's because they put all of their effort into the gimmick of "HoT wOmAn!!!" instead of serving actually good food."
– AverageFurryFemboy
Fake Italian
"Olive Garden."
"They know why."
– liltrixxy
"My friend’s mom is a little old lady from Sicily and her favorite restaurant is Olive Garden."
"Totally not joking."
– YinzaJagoff
"Because it's a loud place were everytime you clean your plate someone comes out and puts more on it just like any Italian dinner."
– Zkenny13
"They All Suck"
"Noodle & Company and Chili’s I honestly don’t know what I am supposed to order in either of these restaurants. They got so many things and they all suck."
"Oh and Pizza Hut because their pizza sucks."
– Soup_and_Rice
It can't get any worse than some fast food joints.
Do They Do Chicken Right?
"KFC. I dont know why but I get sick an hour later every time."
"Churches doesn't do this."
"Popeyes doesn't do this."
– Wolfman01a
"I went to KFC once and i took ONE bite of the chicken and literal blood was coming out. Ordered another one. SAME THING. Ordered another one! Guess what.. SAME THING. Never going to KFC ever again."
– Reddit
Bad Reputations
"Subway - because of food poisoning & there are better sub places in our town."
"Golden Corral - food has always been subpar & I always felt sick after leaving…and not due to overeating."
– amyria
"This is also my two for the same reasons. I got food poisoned by subway twice in a row 20 years ago. Never been back, never will be back."
"Golden corral is so bad. I won't go for any reason. Not even because old great uncle whoever wants to see all the relatives and I'll make him sad if I don't come and get free food. If I wanted to serve people food of that low quality, I could just go to Sam's club and hit the freezer isle. Most of their items are the same processed heat and serve junk."
– Illogical-logical
Have It Your Way
"Will pass on BK. It's always been the participation trophy of fast food."
"Wendy's has gone downhill severely, especially the wait times (I might be overly critical because I worked there one summer)."
– zoinks690
Panda Express used to be my favorite default mall food court choice.
Until I got sick from their beef broccoli once and felt bloated for hours. I realized that with age, my body wasn't able to break down everything I was consuming there.
As a teenage patron everything there used to be so flavorful.
But then my tastes changed after I found out why eating there is the worst thing for your body.
Their highly-caloric dishes are also known to be extremely high in sodium, which if eaten frequently can lead to all sorts of health issues–including obesity and heart disease.
Buh-bye, P.E.
