Choosing The Sex

My ex was convinced that he could consciously choose the sex of any children he fathered. He'd heard (presumably in some science class) that the sperm "decides" the sex of a baby, which is cool and all. But he got hung up on that phrasing and wouldn't listen to logic.

- ActualGuesticles

We Wish

"Just pee out all the blood and finish your period"

- sebaskinny

A Disease Now

My best friend was having sex with her new boyfriend and unexpectedly got her period. She was embarrassed because they had just started dating, and instead of comforting her his response was to disgustedly say "am I going to get a disease now or something?" he's an ex boyfriend now.

- er_bear

Breaking Up Sooner

My ex asked me how I knew my period was over. He was 21 at the time. Now, that wouldn't have even been that bad, but I started to explain how the flow gets lighter until it eventually stops and he cut me off. Said it was gross and he regretted asking.

He also thought any pubic hair on a woman was gross. I get wanting it tidy, but he thought all women should be shaved/waxed all the time. And no, his pubic area was never hair-free.

My only regret was not breaking up with him sooner.

- MadamNerd

Missing One Period

My friend's husband thought women knew they were pregnant by missing just one period and that it started again the next month. It gave me a giggle.

- PancakesXBacon

Stretch First

Before I understood how periods work or what period cramps are, I remember there was a day in middle school PE where the class was running laps but two girls were not participating and instead walking slowly around the outside of the track. When someone asked them why they weren't running they said "we have cramps" and my dumb ass, assuming they both somehow got leg cramps or something from trying to run, said something to the effect of "that's your fault, that's why you need to stretch first!"

Later on after learning some stuff, I remembered the incident and their silent, shocked confusion at my response made perfect sense.

- Boreas907

The Exact Moment I Realized

My creepy older boyfriend when I was 18 made a comment (in front of friends) about the first time we hooked up and he went down on me (the only time he actually did that).

He said: "When I hit your g-spot, your legs clamped down on my head like a vice."

I said "You never hit my g-spot. The g-spot is on the inside."

He responded in a condescending tone, "You have more than one g-spot, dear."

If I had to pinpoint the exact moment when I realized I was dating an idiot, it'd be right then.

- h0lythr0wawaybatman

Reschedule 

I once used my period to get out of a date with one guy and he seriously said, "can't you reschedule it or something?"

- trashwhenawake

Anemia Treatment

"Cant you just stop the anemia by injecting your period blood back in?"

- loveallmyrolls

Wrong On So Many Levels

He was CONVINCED that it was impossible to have twins, as "the uterus only produces one egg per month". He also thought women could ONLY get pregnant on their period, because "the sperm swims up the blood". When I told him it's the complete opposite, he said "Oh, what does the sperm swim up then. The piss?" I then explained that women do not piss out of their vagina. He then exclaimed "wait, there's two holes???"

I officially lost it when he told me that the vagina is in the same place as a mans penis, you know, "bellow the belly button".

Let's just say I'm glad i never ended up dating this guy.

- frogminded

Immoral Women

Someone once complained about how, "Women are immoral because having a period is equal to having an abortion." Luckily this was a teaching moment and he learned something that day.

- Careless_Hellscape

Like A Chicken

I once got asked by my ex if I ever saw the egg cone out during my period

He thought the reason girls had cramps was because they passed an egg like a chicken would or it was at least like passing a kidney stone.

- MoretelleTSpears

Women Don't Poop

"Stop lying, you don't poop. Men do."

Actual ex boyfriend who was a high school football player who GRADUATED.

When he finally asked his mother (yeah...) he was so disgusted, I thought he was kidding but he really wasn't.

- slampons

Unlocking Your Female Power

"Girls can control their periods and bleed whenever they want to." This fool was the only boy with probably eight girls at the table. It got bad when he INSISTED he was right and got angry as eight other girls repeatedly told him no. He tried to explain how the female body works and how if they tried they would just stop bleeding, like they could just "unlock" this female power inside them. I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. Mind you this dude was your typical creepy low IQ rude virgin. (I think, or I hope he was a virgin. He went for the really quiet small freshman and all the other girls warned everyone not to date him. Big ugly rude mass of a dude.) No idea why those girls allowed him to sit at the table. I see him wandering around the mall all the time circling the food court and I always remember this period instance.

- MaidofLight

Night Pads

I went over to my dad's place, and unexpectedly got my period. I was sitting on the toilet, panicking because I only had a leftover tampon from the last time my sister was here, and I use pads. So I begged my dad (who was about to come home) to please go to the store and pick up "night pads" for me (I always use night time pads because I have a heavy flow), and told him I didn't have any pads at all with me, so I really needed him to buy some.

Well... He came home, I thanked him a lot for picking up the pads, and he said: "Wait, I didn't buy them. They're night pads and it's still daytime. We have time."

I had to explain to him WHY I specifically asked for "night pads".

- _Valkyrja_

No Vaseline

My husband /keeps/ telling me that I should use Vaseline as lube and that it was designed for sex.

No no no. No. It's not at all recommended to be used that way. It's petroleum. It takes your body up to a week to get that sticky crud out because your body can't absorb materials like that and it doesn't break down well.

A lot of people use it for anal. Probably because it uh.. moves out more quickly. But it really really doesn't belong in your vagina.

P.S. It also breaks condoms, so don't.

- ChainfireAesthetix

All Boys School

My partner saw a midwife friend on his Facebook post a status about a 'bum breech' baby she had delivered. He thought it meant the baby breaches it's mother's vaginal wall on the way out and ends up being born out of the mum's bumhole. I explained breech birth to him and it made more sense, I think his explanation is pretty funny though (probably not for the mumma in that situation.)

He also thought you could cause injury to your unborn baby in the womb if you have sex while pregnant - as in the cervix and walls were so thin you could poke the baby with your penis. He was therefore adamant if I ever get pregnant I wouldn't be getting any D until the coast is clear. I had to show him an anatomy diagram from Google for that one.

You probably won't be surprised to know that this particular big dummy went to an all boys school. He's my big dummy though.

- RedBedHead94

Pleasurable? 

I was talking with a few female friends about tampons and pads and which we prefer (we were sleeping over at a friend's and a few of us were on our period) and my male best friend was shocked that I didn't like using tampons. Turns out he thought that inserting a tampon was "supposed to be pleasurable, just like having sex." I cried with laughter for what felt like ages.

- hotdatechai

Brain Damage

Guy here, once knew a guy who thought that any time a guy ejaculated in a woman, the sperm would stay in their body, and eventually swim up to their brain, giving them brain damage.

As such, it was his duty as a man to be willing to commit to taking care of women he slept with because every time they had sex she would become a little bit dumber/less capable of living without him and eventually nothing more than a mindless shell with some holes.

- Aazadan

That's Not What Curves Mean

That having sex makes a girl fully develop. My ex-husband truly believed that if a teenage girl had curves, it was evidence that she was sexually active.

He also believed a pelvic exam and inserting tampons caused arousal.

- Ultra-PowerfulCutex

Phasing Through

My boyfriend thought you could technically get pregnant VIA anal because the sperm would somehow phase thru the intestine lining into the uterus???

He's college educated and not a moron or anything, his health teacher in high school was just awful.

- abbystarheart1

Not From The Vagina

The worst offender was an old coworker (who really liked bringing up sex all the time) because absolutely flabbergasted that pee doesn't come from the vagina. He swore up and down I didn't know WHAT I was talking about, that that's 'the only hole it can come out of' and wouldn't listen to me until I googled a diagram to show him. At which point he was grossed out.

The guy was like, 40, and I was no older than 22 at the time, which I guess is why he thought he knew better, but still guy. Yeesh.

- Perscoot

Condoms And Hymens 

It did not happen to me but to many female friends of mine..."When you have sex for the first time, you should not use condom. Otherwise, you cannot break the hymen".

- memmoria91