Back in sixth grade, I was trying to impress my friends. Actually, they weren't my friends but classmates whom I wanted to like me.
We've all been there.
So I tried to make them laugh by performing a little stunt where I pretended to walk into the classroom with a door that had been shut.
I kicked the door and meant to mimic my face bouncing off from the impact. Excpet my estimation between the door and my face was way off.
Basically, I knocked two of my front teeth, causing them to dangle from my gums and swing like western saloon doors. I got the laugh I wanted, I guess.
Curious to hear something more dramatic from strangers on the internet, Redditor _elliot_frost_ asked:
"People of Reddit, what is the most serious injury you got for the dumbest reason?":
Over Confident
Usually, whenever someone says, "I've got this," they don't.
Screwed
"Drilled half an inch into my arm because I thought .... and I quote 'I got this, ain't no way its gonna slip.'"
Wasn't A One-Man-Job
"Tried to move one of those old, massive tv sets by myself and dropped it on my foot. Shattered all my toe bones and broke a few in my foot. Super stupid."
Touching Concrete
"My little brother and I were helping my mom move. There was some furniture that was easier to unload from the bedroom balcony then carry down the thin stairs with a turn, so my brother passed those to me while on the balcony and I on the ground. Once finished he decided to jump from the balcony rather than take the stairs because...I have no idea. He broke his foot on the concrete path under the balcony."
– dring157
This Is How Not To Ride A Bike
"I was teaching my now-husband to ride a bicycle, as he didn't know even as we were 22. We were practicing in an empty high school courtyard. He tried for a few meters and fell. I suddenly take the bike and speed around the yard, getting cocky and showing off, so I don't see the soccer goal post coming towards me. I hit my head, hands and knees and scraped a good chunk off my shoulder. I may have had a concussion too, as I was dizzy and disoriented for some hours after. I still have a 2 inch diameter circular scar on my shoulder. I was a dummy."
– elenifan
Overshooting
"When I was in 11th grade I was a teachers assistant for an 8th grade gym class. One day we were told to set up and run handball games and being the competitive older kid I was I decided to play. I talked to my team and came up with a plan to score a point in a flashy way (as we were already crushing the other team). I decided I would jump and grab the rim of the basketball hoop above the other teams net and have my teamate bank the ball off me and into the goal. Well turns out I didn't have great grip strength and my fingers slipped, ended up landing on my hand wrong and tore a ligament in my right ring finger. To this day, I cannot move that finger from the middle knuckle down."
– NotCzeko
Reddit Users Share Their Best 'It's A Small World After All' Experience
Play Time
You know what they say: "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt."
Getting A Mouthfull
"I cant really remember if I was actually legitamtely injured, but i remember my mom taking me to the hospital. When i was like 7 years old, my parents bought my brothers and I some toy lightsabers. They were the types that lit up when you pressed a button and could be extended a bit. It was summer and my mother took us to her sister's bbq where we played outside with our cousins and the adults could all go and chat together. My oldest brother and I took our lightsabers so we could show everyone and fight with them. Our parents had wanted to see us so they kept glancing back every few minutes to check that nobody got hurt. My older brother and I started to duel with our lightsabers, and then it got interesting. We both backed away and charged at eachother, ready to stab the other with our toy saber. For some weird f'king reason, I opened my mouth and let out a sort of battle cry. Then my brother's lightsaber went in my mouth and a little bit into my throat (I assume accidently.) My mom was mortified and rushed me to the hospital because she said she didnt want to take any chances. And that is the story of how I accidently deepthroated a lightsaber."
Sticking That Landing
"Steak knife through the ankle, while backflipping onto a couch."
"I was 14, or so. Aristocrats was on at the Everybody Wants to Be a Cat bit. It was my jam, so I was dancing. Halfway through the song, I flipped on the couch. I had forgotten about a steak knife I had left from lunch. Shock set in and I started screaming. Mom came in, and had to drive me to the ER."
Reminder To Tie Your Shoelaces
"When I was a kid I broke my arm in three places while playing hide & seek. I was running to the home base while being chased by my friend. I was looking back & full-on sprinting foward. I tripped on my shoelaces & landed on my arm with my wrist on the asphalt & my elbow on my chest."
The Tickling Incident
"I was tickling my boyfriend when we were together for like two weeks. He panicked and headbutted me. I had a concussion and a broken nose. He had nothing."
Got Paint?
"I was playing paintball And our teams plan was the charge when the whistle blew, So the whistle blows and we all start running and randomly this kid got scared from the paint ball fire And as we are all running he stops dead and gets into a fetal position, And me running full tilt had no way of stopping and ended up rolling my ankle when I tryd to stop, I ended up rolling over him kinda sideways, I made sure the kid was OK and kept playing but something felt off, the next day I could barely walk I went to see the doctor they told me it's was A level two sprained ankle so fast forward 4 years later after 2 rounds of physiotherapy I still have to rock an ankle brace every day Or else my ankle will start to hurt to the point where I can't walk I have come to hate that kid haha."
When The Ball Dropped
"I was riding my bike, then I suddenly hit something and I'm launched forward and fall down, I was bleeding a bit but it was ok."
"10 minutes later I noticed that my right testicle skin was sliced and it was bleeding, had to go to the hospital."
During A Task
These Redditors wound up hurting themselves while trying to achieve a goal.
Spoiler alert: they did not reach their intended goals, straightaway.
When Bracing Failed
"Was squatting down to grab something at work, stepped on an air hose which made my foot slip, and I fell a total of maybe five inches. I put my arm out to catch myself, ended up tearing my shoulder, and I strained a muscle in my lower back."
"I fell about as hard as the Life Alert grandma from the commercial, and was put out of the gym for 6 months."
Reach For Protection
"Jumped out of bed to grab a condom, my toe got stuck and snapped, I broke the toe and ligaments in my foot got damaged. I started walking crooked to compensate Even though my lower back started hurting. and that went on while i fell pregnant a month later. Continued to walk crooked whilst carrying a baby and now 7 years later my lower back right above the tailbone still hurts one 1 side."
Concerned Dad
"Took my daughter to a roller skate bday party."
"She was scared to skate, so I got a pair and skated around with her. I slowed down and got up on the carpet, stopped, and waited for her to catch up."
"Took one slide forward, skate got caught and I went down. Broke my elbow catching myself on the floor."
"Turns out I sustained a break that mostly only children get from falls. It was so unusual I kept getting questioned if it really was a skating injury and not something the guy I was dating at the time inflicted on me."
"Nope. I'm just that awesome to take one step on carpet, in roller skates, and end up in a cast for 6 weeks."
Bye Bye Fingernail
"I was carrying cinder blocks and slipped on the ice, didn't quite escape my hand and broke my index finger as well as popped the fingernail out from a couple cm past what is visible. It's perma f'ked."
Blood Fountain
"Chopped my foot open with an axe. Was trimming the tree in the front yard, the big branches that I cut off had to be made smaller, and the hand saw wasn't doing it too well, so I started using the axe, it worked great, then I misjudged a branch, thought it would be two swings, nope! Only one! Went straight through the branch and into my foot. I looked down and the blood started squirting moderately. Fun times!"
No, injuries are not fun, but we all have at one point put ourselves in harm's way for very foolish reasons.
Clearly some of the injuries mentioned above were far more serious than the "injury" I suffered as a result of my grade school shenanigans.
The upside to all of this is, we get to live long enough after the fact to talk about it.
We're not dumb. We is survivors!
People Break Down Which Foods No Longer Taste As Good As They Used To
Like lots of kids growing up, I did love my candy and my sugar. Truth be told, I wasn't allowed to have as much as I would have liked, but that doesn't mean I didn't sneak some candies whenever I had the opportunity.
Now that I'm older though? My taste buds just aren't the same.
I can't stomach too much of anything super sweet and the idea of chowing down on candy and chocolate the way I see some kids do pretty much grosses me out.
My body thanks me, though!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Fulhus asked the online community,
"What food doesn't taste as good as it used to?"
Planterz Cheese Balls
"Planters Cheez Balls. Those things were like the food of the gods when I was a kid in the 80s. When they brought them back for a while a few years ago I bought a few cans, only to find out they tasted like disappointment."
phillymjs
It's true what they say: You can't go home again.
Juicy Fruit
"Juicy Fruit gum. They ruined the flavor 20 years ago. It tastes bitter after 20 seconds. They should just discontinue the gum."
InterestingClerk91
Honestly, yes. It tastes like nothing now. Then again, I haven't had gum in years and I'm okay with that.
Thin Mints
"Thin Mints — most other Girl Scout cookies since they changed manufacturer, but I miss the old thin mints the most."
[deleted]
I had some recently and I really enjoyed them but I guess I wouldn't know! I didn't grow up eating Girl Scout cookies.
"She left me her recipes..."
"My grandma's cooking. She left me her recipes when she passed but I still can’t recreate her magic."
carolebaskinshusband
Nostalgia is also an ingredient, believe it or not.
Sorry about your loss.
Butterfinger
"Butterfingers or Nestle chocolate in general."
Fondueinthebutt
I used to love these and don't think I can stomach them anymore.
KFC
"KFC has gone WAY downhill in the past 25 years."
Gracieland1979
Honestly, Popeye's is where it's at. That's been the case for a long time.
Pop Tarts
"Pop tarts. They are chalky/pasty and so thin now."
[deleted]
If you really want to taste a proper Pop Tart, I have found that the store brands taste a lot like the old ones. Check some out.
Corn Pops
"Corn Pops ever since they got rid of the foil bag."
ministarfallen
The foil bag?
They got rid of the foil bag?1
Is nothing sacred?!
"Peaches. I've commented on this many times but the last several years the peach crop has sucked. I haven't had a good, juicy, non-mealy peach in a long time."
llcuff80
The ones you buy at the store are nowhere near as good as the ones my friend can just pick off the tree in his backyard!
Klondike Bars
"Klondike bars, they are half of what they used to be and the coating is chocolate flavored crap they mist across them instead of actually coating them in something approaching real chocolate."
way2funni
They melt so quickly, too! Not worth it. I haven't had one in years.
Sorry to disappoint all of you: The things you loved eating as a kid are pretty bad now.
Your wallet and health will thank you later. Much of it is just really terrible refined sugar.
Have some thoughts of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
People Share The Best Slang Terms Parents Can Use To Embarrass Their Children
It's really no secret that most children think their parents are super uncool.
Because of course they are.
Parents didn't have lives or dreams of their own before they had children, right? How could they possibly ever have been fun?
That's sarcasm, by the way. Most people grow out of this attitude, and it usually disappears by the time a kid gets through their teenage years, when pretty much anything their parents do turns their faces red with embarrassment.
But suppose you, the parents, wanted to embarrass your kids anyway, say by reviving a slang term or two?
People shared their thoughts after Redditor the-tinman asked the online community,
"What are some slang terms a 50 year old dad can say to his daughter to embarrass her?"
Ummm...
"Just say "whatup fam?" Then when they get mad yell "worldstar."
Markissy
Do I even want to know what the hell "worldstar" is? Ugh. I'm old now.
This is actually sweet.
"I am taking my 14 year old daughter and her friends to an Anime convention. They are all dressing up to cosplay anime characters. I decided to dress up as Indiana Jones, And I guess that is the worst thing in the world."
[deleted]
For them? Yeah. Bonus points if you quote some awesome Indy lines.
"When something surprises you..."
"When something surprises you, say you are “shook."
kcounts
And when you're really, really surprised, say that you're "shooketh."
Say what?
"Wuss poppin' Jimbo?"
LordMalgus
How about you don't but we'll say that you did?
"Wait..."
"Wait till she’s in an argument with your spouse, or being slightly verbose in a public place, pull out your phone and shout “world star!"
citizen_tronald_rump
There it is again! Do I really need to start adding this to my vocabulary? Because I really don't want to.
Bruh!
"Say bruh after literally every sentence."
ABB1994
Your mother and i have decided we are getting a divorce. Bruh.
Like that?
"He did things like..."
"My dad never used slang terms. He did things like ask if I applied my rash cream and if my gum disease was bothering me in front of people."
captainsaveabro
This sounds like it definitely impacted your ability to get dates.
"Ugh..."
"Ugh, my 60 year old mother loves to say things are ”the puff daddy” when she thinks something is awesome or superior. So you should probably point out things that you also find to be the “puff daddy."
[deleted]
She knows exactly what she's doing.
An evil genius.
"I used..."
"I used the "You ain't woke fam. I'm too lit" on my 15 yr old daughter. I'm 46. Her exact response, walking by without looking at me. "I don't even think you understand what you are saying."
moby1kenobi
Plot twist: But you did.
You totally did.
"I'm partial to saying..."
"I’m partial to saying “I’m finna pop a goog” instead of “I’m going to google this thing." I’ve received mixed responses."
alpha11411
Gee, I wonder why?
Hmmm...
And there you have it. If you have a kid, they better watch out. But do report back. The results are undoubtedly hilarious.
Have a suggestion of your own? Tell us about it in the comments below!
It's always sad when people don't have anything better to do than throw insults at people.
And yet it happens far too often, between people who see each other on a fairly regular basis, as well as complete strangers.
It's always a good idea to avoid sinking to their level when this happens, and just ignore them and walk on by.
That being said, there is very little more satisfying than coming back at them with just the right choice of words, and leaving them in stunned silence.
"What is the greatest comeback to an insult you’ve ever heard?"
Yo Mamma!
"My best friend: After an argument with some kid from our school in a shop we began walking away down the street..."
"Kid: 'where you going?'"
"Friend: 'your moms house'."
"Kid: 'my mom lives the other way idiot'."
"Friend: 'Nah, i meant your real mom'.”- FourShott
Don't Tell Me How To Do My Job!
"Air Traffic Control doing a poor job of vectoring an Airbus A330 in for landing."
"Pilot: 'You've left us too high, I don't think we can make the approach'."
"ATC: "You've got speedbreaks on that thing, don't you?'"
"Pilot: (After a noticeable pause) 'Yes, but those are for my mistakes, not yours'."- DerpDishPizza
If You Can't Take Heat...
"A friend in high school on our way to a track meet."
"He was staring at a car in the parking that was really nice."
"When this dbag saw him."
"Dbag: 'Why bothering looking at that when you know you’ll never be able to get one?'”
"My friend: 'The same reason you watch porn'.”
"The entire bus erupted and it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard."- RedIguanaLeader
Cute Gif Reaction GIFGiphyThe Only Thing Worse Than People Talking About You?...
"A dude in my class called out a semi friend of mine."
"That people are talking behind his back."
"In fact, that wasn’t the case, as far as I know, and that guy said: 'Well you know what the say about you?'"
"'Nothing, nobody f*cking cares'.“ Reddit
Seriously, Mind Your Own Business
"So there was 2 girls fighting and one of them looks at my sister who was minding her own business and says: you go to hell too!"
"My sister: do you want me to say anything to your mom?" - Reddit
Take It Like A Real Man!
"It's gotta be the Aliens locker room scene for me."
"Hudson: 'Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?'"
"Vasquez: 'No, have you?'"- Mike-Drop
James Cameron Aliens GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphyWhen You Get The Teacher In Stitches...
"English class in Middle School."
"Kid A - 'yo, Kid B, your mama waited on me at McDonalds last night'."
"'Must feel like sh*t having a mom that works at McDonalds'."
"Kid B- 'at least MY mom gets out of bed to go to work'."
"English teacher far louder than he realized 'DAYUM!'."
"The rest of us were laughing so hard, the teacher next door popped her head in to see what was going on."- Nutella_Zamboni
Living Up To His Reputation
"Context: John Oliver from HBO interviews Stephen Hawking (may he rest in peace)."
"JO: 'And there may be a universe where I am more intelligent than you?'."
"SH: 'There may even be a universe where you are funny'."- bugfish03
When They Go Low, You Go High!
"Overheard by me, the school bus driver."
"One fifth grade student was belittling a first grader."
"When it was time for a comeback, first grader shouts out, 'Congratulations!'"
"The bewildered fifth grader had nothing to say and went to sit down with her friends in the back of the bus."- emzirek
Jeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphyLogical...
"Joe Pyne interviewing Frank Zappa."
"Joe: 'I guess your long hair makes you a woman'."
"FZ: 'I guess your wooden leg makes you a table'." Reddit
It's sad when people have nothing better to do than belittle others.
Making it hard to feel that they get just what they deserve when someone school's them with a clever comeback.
Hopefully teaching them to use their time a bit more wisely going forward.
People Who've Battled Cancer Describe The First Sign That Made Them Go To The Doctor
Being diagnosed with cancer is news no one ever wants to hear.
For some people, the diagnosis might come as a surprise, with no signs or warnings whatsoever.
Others, however might have detected some irregularities, or suffered from symptoms which led them to believe something wasn't quite right, leading them to run to a doctor.
Only to have their worst fears realized.
"People of Reddit who have gone through or are going through cancer, what was the first sign that made you go to the doctor?"
Lucky To Be Scolded By Dad.
"I was fooling around in a mall as a kid."
"So My dad grabbed me by the neck to make me behave."
"He felt a lump on my neck and immediately began to get nervous."
"We went to the doctor the next day, caught the cancer before it spread and was able to surgically remove it about a month later."
"Got super lucky."- SockFeetLover
Misdiagnosis
"My sister noticed a small painful lump in her breast shortly after having her second child."
'Doctor diagnosed a blocked mammary gland."
"A couple weeks later it still wasn’t gone."
"Again doc said blocked gland."
"Months later it’s still not gone and she insists on getting a second opinion."
"Stage 3 breast cancer."
"Double mastectomy immediately followed by months of agonizing radiation and chemo only to find out it’s now stage four."
"She’s been stable for a few years but now it’s spreading again and we don’t know how long we have with her."
"Trying to be as positive as possible."- KidGorgeous19
Persistant Headaches
"My 33 year old husband was diagnosed with inoperable glioblastoma, most aggressive brain cancer, in January 2019, when he was 31."
"What caused him to get a check, was persistent headache that didn’t go away with paracetamols and sleep."
"We discovered the tumors after taking an MRI."
"Needless to say, our lives were changed forever."
"Now we are at the end of our journey, and it’s been a harrowing experience for me as his wife and caregiver."
"It’s a lonely journey."
"I don’t wish it upon anyone and no one has any idea what glioblastoma is like, unless they have gone through it."
"The median survival time is 14-18 months."
"Viktor has passed away yesterday, on 1st August."
"He was surrounded by his brother and me and smiled a lot to the very end."
"At his final resting position, his face looked relaxed and a little smile can be seen by us too."
"I am still in shock, processing what has happened to us. I’ll take the time I need to process this and grieve."
"I just miss my husband."
"I miss his laughs."
"I miss his smile."
"I feel loved."
"I know I’m loved."
"So that’s keeping me together."
"May Viktor find peace."
"I know he’s not in pain now."- syarkbait
Swollen Head and Neck
"My head and neck area became very swollen."
"At first I thought I was just getting fat, so I worked out a lot and ate better."
"This did not help."
"I also went to a local clinic and they thought it might be an allergic reaction and gave me steroids, which also didn’t help."
"The thing that finally made me go to the emergency room and not leave until I had an answer is that I started to develop unexplained bruises on my chest."
"Turns out I had a huge tumor in my chest which had grown around my heart and was compressing the superior vena cava so blood couldn’t flow back down from my head."
"Not great!"
"The good news is that it turned out to be very treatable and I’ve been cancer free for 11 years now."- eskimospy212
A Different Lump
"Funnily enough, it was a totally unrelated lump."
"'Nope, that lump is fine, just a lipoma'."
"'However, we found another lump in the corner of your x-ray and we need to biopsy it'."- something_crass
Excessive Bleeding
"Super heavy periods that would last for 10 or more days."
"Got an iud to help control bleeding."
"Actually hemorrhaged so bad the iud came out."
"Endometrial Cancer, huge tumor in my uterus."
"Ladies, it's not normal to need a tampon and pad at the same time."
"It's not normal to need to change them every 10 minutes or even every hour."
"An average period is 2-3 Tablespoons, just for reference."
"Sorry if TMI."
"I am one year NED (no evidence of disease)."
"I was diagnosed at 40."
"The main take away is if something is not right, keep looking for answers and the right physician."
"Heavy periods do not usually mean cancer in pre menopausal women, but there is no reason to suffer through them."
"Post menopausal women should not experience any bleeding, one drop and you should go to the doctor right away."- Icewaterforall
If something seems off, or doesn't go away in a reasonable amount of time, it's always best to see a doctor.
Even if you have the slightest doubt.