The Absolute Dumbest Things Customers Have Ever Gotten Mad About
Reddit user j-rock292 asked: 'What is the dumbest thing a customer has gotten mad at you about that was not your fault?'
Like many people, I spent my time in retail. Customers were by far the hardest part of the job.
In college, I worked as a "bookseller"—our official title—in a mall for a national chain of bookstores. Without fail, every shift one or more customers would ask for something like "that book, the red one, by the guy."
When we'd ask for more information—like genre or if it was new or where they saw it—they'd just repeat, "red book, guy, you know which one I mean."
We most definitely didn't know which one they meant, but customers thought if we worked in a bookstore we should know every book in print from even the vaguest of descriptions. And they'd get mad when we didn't.
Anyone who has worked with customers has war stories.
Reddit user j-rock292 asked:
"What is the dumbest thing a customer has gotten mad at you about that was not your fault?"
Were they blind?
"They asked me to cut a blind."
"When I asked for the dimension they wanted it cut to, it was larger than the original blind length."
"Said I can't make it longer, only shorter and she lost her sh*t."
Tag, you're it.
"Back when I worked at Target, some guy came in about 30 minutes before we closed, and wanted to buy a laptop."
"He wanted to run some obscure software on it for his laser ttagarena and got really nettled when I told him I was unfamiliar with the software and so I couldn't give a definitive answer."
"Then he started going on about how much he made in a week compared to my paycheck."
"So I told him something along the lines of, 'Well then buy this laptop and if it works, it works. If it doesn't, it won't hurt your wallet'."
"He really didn't like that and after some colorful language, was escorted out of the store."
"In an odd twist of fate a few months later the mother of one of my best friends bought his laser tag arena because he ran it into the ground."
Credit where credit is due.
"Not me but a friend of mine worked customer service for a credit card company."
"She said a young guy called and asked why he couldn't use his card. She told him because he had exceeded his $15K limit."
"Dude was like 'yeah but that was for last month. Don't I get another $15K limit this month?'."
Can you hear me now?
"Customer got mad at me because I could barely hear her over a bad connection."
"I was on a landline, she was not."
"After disconnecting the call because it was going nowhere, she immediately called back and complained to me about the a**hole she'd just been talking to, saying, 'He said I was bad at making connections. Why the f**k was he talking about my love life?! You are much more helpful, though'."
No, I can't help you.
"I wasn't even working at this shop, I was just another customer. I didn't even wear a shirt similar to an employee's."
"A woman comes up to me and says, 'Excuse me, do you work here?' But before I can say no, she asks where something is."
"She sounded polite enough so I responded just as politely, 'Sorry, I don't work here. The people with the blue shirts do'."
"She got slightly upset and said someone else had pointed at me when she asked for a worker."
"I look to my side, and literally less than a couple feet away, there was an actual worker. I told her 'I think they meant that guy right there'."
"She then completely lost her cool, screaming various things at me and calling me all sorts of names."
"The employee tried to intervene but she just kept screaming. She eventually stops with, 'I want to see your manager!'."
I told her to f'k off. The employee laughed and she stomped off, then I just went back to shopping.
"Didn't see her again."
Maybe if you hum a few bars?
"I worked at a Music Store in a mall around Christmas."
"A lady came in and wanted to get the album of whatever was playing at the store she was in earlier."
"She got mad when I didn’t know what music they played in other stores."
Full service doesn't include time travel.
"In the ‘60s I worked at a gas station that also did repairs."
"A customer drove in with a flat right rear tire and no spare. I pulled out the nail and plugged it."
"She was good to go and left happy."
"She drove in about 2 months later with a flat left front tire."
"I pulled out a screw and plugged it while she screamed that I should have checked it last time she was there."
"She has every right to be mad."
"You’re obviously a terrible tech because you didn’t make a time machine to go into the future and prevent her from getting another flat."
"You must feel terrible that she takes her car somewhere else now."
The call is coming from inside the house.
"A long time ago I serviced someone's Internet connection at their house."
"When I left, my supervisor called to let me know that I had been accused of theft at this house."
"This crazy lady thought I stole a handset for her landline phone, not even the base with it, just the handset."
"She called later to report she found it in between her couch cushions."
I control the weather, but work here for minimum wage.
"Got yelled at for ruining his family’s vacation at Disney world because the rides shut down due to the storm."
"The summer right out of high school I worked at an amusement park."
"We had a massive severe thunderstorm ( heavy rain, lots of lightning, 50+mph winds, whole deal) one day, because giant metal structures and lightning dont mix we had to shut down all of our rides."
"Well this dipshit accused ME of starting this storm just to ruin his day."
Maybe she didn't want to wash it.
"I was refusing her a refund on a kids' duvet set."
"This woman threatened my colleague, so I (manager) stepped in."
"Protocol states we had to check and repack before giving a refund, so I took it to the stock room only to find that she had folded it back into the packaging, complete with the vomit chunks!"
Florida is hot in May
"So, I worked at a chocolate shop in Boston MA."
"Someone called to place an order, for shipment, to Florida."
"I said, 'okay, we do require next day shipping and an ice pack on shipments to Florida, so the chocolates don't melt. The shipping Will be $30 and the ice pack and insulated packaging will be an additional $8'."
"It's my standard spiel."
"The person's like 'the chocolate is only $22. No. I'll pay for the shipping but not the ice pack. It will be fine'."
"'Yadda Yadda warning. Yadda Yadda. When it shows up melted it won't be our fault I'm noting it in the system'."
"So, what phone call does my manager get 2 days later?"
"Oh? Person got melted chocolate? Oh it's our fault is it?"
"But look? There's a note in the system they refused to pay for an icepack."
"Did I warn them the chocolate would melt? Yes I did."
"Do they now have nothing for mothers day? No they dooooon't."
I also sold mattresses and appliances. Maybe because they were a major investment, I had far fewer bad experiences with those customers.
My worst experiences were working a customer service phone line for a Department of Defense agency.
People were almost always angry before they picked up the phone.
Have you had a customer go off on you? Share your experience in the comments.
Reddit user alina_love_ asked: 'What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?'
No matter how long ago we saw it, there are some scenes or images from movies that still send shivers down our spine or keep us awake at night to this very day.
Pennywise appearing in the sewer in It, Janet Leigh surprised in the shower in Psycho, Freddy Kreuger's tongue popping out of the telephone in A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Of course, some of the scariest, most disturbing, or most emotionally traumatizing scenes from films might have been featured in films outside of the horror genre.
Even more shockingly, some of these films were primarily marketed towards children!
Redditor alina_love was curious to hear which non-horror films the Reddit community saw as children still send shivers down their spines today, leading them to ask:
"What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?"
It Was Tim Burton, After All...
"'Pee Wee's big adventure'."
"Large Marge scared the crap out of little me."
"I was even scared of the fortune teller."- BlueStarrSilver·
With A Title Like "Temple Of Doom"...
"'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'."
"The scene where the guy gets his heart ripped out traumatized me for years."- Pbhf
That Funeral Scene Though...
"Fear of death, fear of losing a friend, fear of bees, fear of puberty."- heidismilesmacaulay culkin kiss GIFGiphy
Jurassic Park's Got Nothing On This...
"'The Land Before Time'."
"Watching Little Foot’s mother die was awful."- HourglassSass
He'll Always Regret Not Bringing Her To The Museum...
"'Bridge to Terabithia'."- jumpstart-the-end
"Everything goes so well and it falls apart SO FAST and your left absolutely traumatized."- VortexDestroyer99
The Reason People Hold On To Their Appliances For As Long As They Do...
"The Brave Little Toaster'."- Catgurl
"The junkyard scene alone was responsible for so many nightmares."- ManChildMusicianbrave little toaster animation GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy
And Let's Not Forget The Coachman's Smile...
"Disney’s version of 'Pinocchio'."
"The scene where kids are turned into donkeys and kept on the island and then resold was f*cking weird."
"You felt bad for that bully kid after he looked sad and nobody understood what he said because he was a donkey."- earnestlikehemingway
Few Things More Sad And Scary Than Deforestation
"'Ferngully: The Last Rainforest'."
"That evil tree scared me so bad."- slutsdotnet
Anything But "Truly Scrumptious"...
"The 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' Childcatcher guy!"
"I'm still scared of him!"- Jet_Maypenchild GIFGiphy
Offing Children One By One...In A Children's Movie!
"'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' boat scene."
"Honorable mention of claustrophobia when Augustus gets stuck in the chocolate tube."
At Least We Know He Had A "Sole"...
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."
"That poor shoe….."- dalalice5555
At Least The Song Is Catchy...
"Not even Artax, which was awful, but the Rockbiter and his good strong hands."- marxychick1Neverending Story 80S GIFGiphy
Dorothy Gettying Electro Shock Therapy Says it All...
"Return to Oz."- Jeff_Steelflexx
"Horrifying! What about the animated wig heads?"- weensfordayz
The Reigning King Of Childhood Trauma
"Old Yeller."- IceTech59
"I remember watching this on TV during, I think, Wonderful World of Disney (Sunday nights were Disney night on TV)."
"Cried and cried and cried."
"I've never been able to watch it again and I've never shown it to my kids!"- crowwitch
Not All Friendships Are Tenable... A Terrifying Thought
"'The Fox and the Hound'."
"Still makes me incredibly sad, lol."- mental_reincarnationbest friends friendship GIFGiphy
Sometimes, writers and filmmakers simply overestimate what might go over a child's head.
Or, for that matter, they might underestimate their emotional capacity.
Regardless, ask any of Fairuza Balk's fans which is scarier, Return to Oz or The Craft, and their answer will be immediate...
(... and it won't be The Craft...)
Sometimes it's fun to toy with someone.
Especially if it's an enemy or a loved one who simply deserves a good ribbing.
Some cryptic sentences can send anyone into a tailspin.
And oh the fun that can be had.
You have to be as vague as possible and as sincere.
You have to sell the sincerity. That's vital!
And then just watch them implode.
Redditor theary18 wanted to hear about the most creative ways to throw somebody off their game, so they asked:
"What is the best thing to say to someone to subtly f**k with their head?"
I love to come up behind someone and say "I can't believe they would treat you this way. I got you girl!"
Then I scurry away.
It's YOU!For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy
"Just tack on the phrase 'given your history' to any question you ask someone."
"Are you sure you want another drink? Given your history?"
"Do you mind driving? Given your history?"
"I moved to my elementary school in the 5th grade. Mid-year, a boy came up to me and said, 'I really thought you were gonna be somebody.' I'm now 45 and I'm still like, what the f**k was he talking about?"
"Likely something they heard a parent say to someone. Kids love to repeat the dumb stuff you say the next day at school."
"All jokes aside he probably thought you were someone else. I've done the same things countless times and it's happened to me a few."
"I would interpret this as this kid hearing there's gonna be a 'new kid' and then their imagination ran wild as to who this new star is going to be, that it will be like in some kid movie or something, but you turned out to be just another kid student."
I Like You
"I don't get why other people don't like you."
"Another variant is..."
"I don’t care what everyone else is saying. I think you’re great!"
"They’ll take it as a compliment at first but then they’ll think about it and it’ll eat away at them."
"A guy I work with says this time to me every time I help him 'I don’t care what everyone else says about you you’re alright. Literally everyone else. We did a poll.' XD guy says some crazy s**t. When he started he tried to convince us he was a flat earther. He just likes fucking with people."
“'I heard about you.'"
"Whenever I hear this I always respond with 'if it’s all good, it’s all lies.' Usually shows my sense of humor and if it is bad things they heard it usually lightens the mood."
"Years ago I worked at a cafe and function venue which was sold after a few years to a new catering company. The first time I met the new restaurant manager I introduced myself and she exclaimed 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' and I was a bit weirded out. Then not long later I met the new owner and she also said 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' I still wonder twenty years later what they’d both heard about me."
ProblemsDrunk Party Girl GIFGiphy
"Go up to someone at a party and say: 'I just want you to know that personally, I have no problem with you being here.'"
"I once got drunk and effectively said that to a girl at a wedding. 'I don't care what everyone else thinks, I always liked you' or something like that."
Parties are the perfect setting for these shenanigans.
Especially with the drinkers.
But get them at least semi-sober.
I got YouOkaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"If you are chatting with someone and another person walks up look at them and say 'I just want you to know that I was defending you' then turn and walk off. It's a good 2fer."
"'We know, but don't worry, we'll keep it a secret.'"
"A friend in high school (actually still a current friend) said something similar to me and it definitely f**ked with my head. 'You know you're not fooling anyone, right?' He wouldn't elaborate and it took me the rest of the day to figure out he was f**king with me. As a guy with imposter syndrome, especially as a teen, that had me turned for a bit."
"If it’s someone you interact with repeatedly, always introduce yourself as if you’ve never met before."
"I keep doing this to a guy I see very occasionally. He's a friend of my sister-in-law, but I've introduced myself to him at least four times. Right now, I'm trying to picture his face and I totally can't, so if I see him again, I'll introduce myself again. He remembers me though. And I don't have this issue with anyone else, I just can't remember this guy's face for some reason."
"You really need to brush your teeth."
"Somebody jokingly left a message on the 'tip' line that said 'Take a breath mint.'"
"I'm like 90% sure it was just the first thing that came to his head but it f**ked with me for weeks. I was self-conscious when talking to people, being close to them with my mouth open, and I'd constantly be brushing longer/harder taking mouthwash a couple extra times a day, and using mints."
Head IssuesThink About It GIF by IdentityGiphy
"Give all your friends a few dollars to compliment their hat if they’re not wearing one. When 50 people insist you’re wearing a hat, you start to think you’re wearing a hat. It will drive them insane."
Hats off for that last one. That's harmless but devious.
Do you have any tips to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Societal pressures shape how people act most of the time, but every now and then someone comes along who doesn't care what other people think.
They do what they want, when they want without guilt or remorse.
According to President Theodore Roosevelt:
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."
Much less rare are the times when otherwise conscientious people decide to throw caution to the wind. Almost everyone had at least one moment in life when they decide to go for it.
Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead, right?
How things turn out after such a decision can make for some interesting stories.
Reddit user Alone-and-affraid asked:
"People who just said 'F*ck it' and did the thing, how did it turn out?"
"I quit my factory job of 2.5 years during the 2020 events to go work at a slaughterhouse. I had nothing to fall back on besides this job."
"I did training there for a week before they decided I was ready to go work on a line."
"I was at the line for an hour, just watching the other guys work and I knew immediately that this wasn’t something I could do; it was far too fast paced, far too much to remember and with the job involving razor sharp knives, I feared for my safety."
"I walked out of the job during my first break and didn’t return. Went to Staples, printed out some resumes and dropped off about 20 of them before walking into a rebar manufacturing place that hired me on the spot without an interview."
"The rebar job was fun as hell, my coworkers were fantastic, and it paid $3 an hour more than the slaughterhouse. 11/10 decision, there."
No Business Like Show Business
"Was working a job that paid little and was hazardous due to chemicals and bad health and safety. Wanted to stick it out cause it was a skill I wanted to get good at and also being able to buy food is nice."
"But the general work environment was sh*t."
"One day at work I got a text from a random number asking if I wanted a job on a film, where I'd be basically painting costume items. They didn't give me any information about it at all."
"But I said f*ck it, and quit my job with my sights set on the big screen."
"Now I work in the film industry pretty much full time where my job involves painting and making weird sh*t all day with cool people. More stress and way longer hours, but way more enjoyable and fulfilling."
"And now I have money to buy my self cool sh*t whenever I want it."
Take This Job And...
"After a major falling out with my bosses I stormed out of my job with zero notice. Left the company car keys at reception and went."
"Zero plans, zero transport home."
"On my long walk home I hatched a plan to become a freelance developer and I have now been doing it for 20 years."
Up, Up and Away
"Changed careers from IT to Aviation (Pilot).
"Took the $130,000 loan out, and said 'Fuck It'. I am about to get my PPL, from there its IFR certification, then Commerical, and then my CFI so I can get my hours and get paid (little but its still making money and obtaining hours)."
"My friend's husband switched from dental hygienist to pilot and he was in his late 30s. He started with zero hours and worked his way up through the various stages.
"He's a first officer at one of the major US airlines now and loves it."
"His wife's salary kept the family afloat during his slave wage years."
Taking a Leap of Faith
"My work is very niche, so niche we were less than 20 to do it at a professional/commercial level in a city like Chicago."
"After the facility I ran a crew at closed, I spent a bit over a year looking for a similar job anywhere in the US and Canada without success."
"I did get a decent amount of interviews just to get ghosted every single time, no one would hire me due to my disability (Crohn's and Ostomy bag, which prevents me from doing a small part of the job and can be worked around without issues)."
"After all that time all I could find was a 2-days a week part time job, working under the first person I mentored."
"Did that for a few months and struggled financially until I saw a job posting for something in Singapore."
"I said why the hell not, sent my application through email and got an interview set up for the next day and within 90min of that interview they were ready to send me a contract."
"7 weeks later I was on the plane with 3 suitcases, moving across the world to a place (and continent) I've never been to."
"I'm 2 months into the job and already feel like I have a purpose again, the job is pretty damn chill, the pay is real good. The company is also really happy with my work so far and their decision of bringing me in."
"That's just the job part, the city/country is amazing (besides for the constant heat but that's just a small detail)."
"Zero f*cking regrets."
Work From Home
"For years prior to the pandemic I'd heard about Work From Home scams. It had always been a dream of mine as someone that had suffered insane commutes to work from home."
"During the pandemic I figured f*ck it I'll see what's out there. Found an old employer of mine was hiring for WFH."
"I applied, got the job and have been with them now for a little over 2 years. A year or so of that time as the night shift lead."
"It's amazing. I have no commute. My workload is relatively light. I spend most of my work hours waiting for work so I listen to music, read books, watch TV etc..."
"Unless I finally go back to school and get my degree this is the closest I'll get to retired."
"With my current schedule I only work 3 nights a week."
Alls Not Well That Ended Unwell
"I had worked at a company for almost 10 years. I never got promoted and had hit the salary cap for my position so I could not get a raise."
"I tried for promotions, but they made you take a personality test for higher level positions, and I 'wasn't the right fit'. They then had some budget cuts and couldn't justify my salary so I was let go."
"A friend of mine had been planning for years to open a business, but didn't have the capital or time to get it off the ground. He was very convincing and confident, so I invested everything into it."
"I thought that since we were both 'smart' and knowledgeable about the product we could make it work without experience, but I was wrong."
"My friend was the product guy and I was 'the face' as the business had a huge social aspect."
"Within 3 months I realized that my friend's product knowledge was just based on what he liked, and not any real research. It fell apart pretty quick.
"I tried to salvage it but the initial product mistakes were too much. I tried to take control and right the ship but I got blamed for all the failure."
"I should've tried to collaborate but I was angry, and then I went to the only person that was on my side, my business partner's ex. It was wrong but I was losing everything and needed something."
"So I lost my condo, my life savings, and all of my friends. The business partner's ex then left me after the business collapsed because I was broke."
"It got worse from there. Let's just say that saying f*ck it can ruin everything."
Moving On Up
"In my young age I walked out of my job as a programming analyst at a large multi billion $ company because I felt undervalued everyday of my job by my direct supervisor/manager."
"But I landed in another large multi billion dollar company as senior developer after 3 rounds of interviews—with 40% raise within 2 weeks."
"I was called back by previous employer after around 3 months giving me a 100% raise because they realized that I was providing them everyday solutions in their technical operations that ended up not solvable by even external consultants who were paid 300-400$ per hour."
"I rejected the offer but showed the offer to current employer who happily matched the salary after seeing my work for 3 months and promoted me to lead developer. Stayed there for 8 years before switching—this was in early 2000."
Change Of Scenery
"Seventeen years ago the wife and I lived in Japan, and had been there for almost 9 years. Our daughter started getting death threats in school when she moved to middle school; different kids than elementary, where the parents were really nice to us."
"Anyway, when we talked to her teacher about it, she pretty much said 'It's her fault for being loud and wearing earrings' (my daughter is half Hungarian, and babies get earrings here; it's a cultural thing)."
"We told her this and she said it attracts too much attention."
"Also, she told us to dye her hair black (it's brown) so she'd fit in better. We noped out, and moved to Hungary (at a time when Hungary was not even slightly in good financial shape, and about to be IMF-loaned).
"My parents thought we were crazy; my dad even told me I'd made a mistake."
"Things turned out very well. Daughter got stable again after some terrible thoughts because of what kids did to her in Japan."
"I found a decent job and after a LOT of weirdness ended up at a good workplace; wife runs our little company now, which is okay-ish (though current inflation, man...)."
"We actually own our own home, which felt impossible in Japan."
Switching Things Up
"I changed careers on nothing more than a suggestion from a friend."
"It worked out amazingly."
Heaven on Earth
"Two years ago, I walked out my job, broke my lease, shoved as much of my belongings into a badly malfunctioning car and drove across the Rocky Mountains to find the sea."
"I didn’t have a plan, I didn’t know if the car would survive (it broke down within weeks after the trip was done and I sold it for scrap)."
"I honestly didn’t care if I had a place to live... I needed to see the ocean, to smell it, to dip my toes in the brine and feel small again."
"And if I had nowhere to go and no way to survive once I got there, I had every intention of weighing down my pockets with stones and just walking into the water to end it all."
"I was not in a good place, mentally or emotionally. You don’t walk out on your life like that if you have anything to live for."
"But I connected with estranged family here, and they gave me shelter until I found work and a new home."
"I’m happy now, really truly steadily happy, fulfilled, proud of myself and what I’m doing, more so than I’ve ever felt in my entire life."
"The air is cleaner here, I wake up every morning and, rain or shine, I take a bike ride through rolling hills of emerald farm fields and deep whispering pine trees."
"I’m greeted in the mornings by wild robins, and I fall asleep at night to the music of rain dancing through the boughs of the trees and a chorus of singing frogs."
"I find myself standing outside, staring at the vast river of stars in the unpolluted and sacred darkness of the night sky, and I watch the beautiful pink and orange waves of the rising sun cresting over the mountains."
"I have found a Heaven on Earth, and I am thankful, every minute of every day, for this wild place I call home and the wonderful people who picked me up when I had fallen down."
"I don’t recommend anyone else do something as stupid and impulsive, or self-destructive as I did, but it wound up being the best decision I have ever made."
Have you ever just said to heck with what anyone else thinks?
How did things turn out?
Share your story in the comments.
Part of the fun of dating and being in a relationship are the unexpected, impulsive moments.
What's funny is how these could be equally arousing moments, too, even if they're moments that we never expected to make us feel that way.
Redditor thann3 asked:
"What is the weirdest thing your partner did that turned you on?"
"When he backs into a parking spot, he puts his right hand on the back of my seat when he looks behind him."
"Hnnnngggggghhh. Gets me going and I don't know why."
"Every time someone mentions this, I am reminded of the time I did it and accidentally backhanded this girl in the face."
That Reading Voice
"In high school, this girl had a soothing voice. Every time she read out loud, I had goosebumps and she gave me butterflies."
"I can’t think of anything weird my husband did, but the first night of our honeymoon, we were talking about the wedding and our future, and I started crying because I was so happy (and told him that’s why I was crying)."
"He was smiling and gave me a kiss and then whispered, 'I don’t know why, but you crying just now turned me on.'"
"Lol (laughing out loud), it didn’t turn me on, but it did make me laugh, and I thought it was weird-cute."
"On the first date, he put my seatbelt on. It surprised me because I heard of men opening doors for their dates but not putting their seatbelt on. It just showed a very caring yet masculine side of him."
"The tension of knowing we wanted of each other but agreed to take it slow just made me go feral in my head."
"A year and a half later, he still does it to this day. He even gets 'mad' when I don't let him. I still blush when he does it, especially when other people are in the car with us."
"It wasn't my girlfriend, but over a Skype call maybe a decade ago when I was a teenager, I was on a call with a female friend I had the hots for."
"I casually mentioned that I had a thing for girls in glasses."
"She gasped, told me to wait there, and scurried downstairs. About 20 seconds later, she rushed back up, jumped onto her bed with her jaw resting on her fists, and low and behold, she was wearing glasses."
"We laughed, I didn't know what to say, but that was the cutest and sexiest way of letting me know she liked me."
"I know it sounds weird, but her breath is intoxicating. It’s naturally somewhat sweet, and of course, she thinks I’m crazy."
"Edit: We know it’s not diabetes, ketosis, or any other medical issue. We’ve been together for over 30 years and it’s just good chemistry."
That Deep Stare
"An ex-girlfriend of mine looked at me in a certain way every now and again that just did something to me, like a bit of a stare deep into my soul knowing she wants all of me. Every day I hope someone will recreate and enhance it."
The Perfect Sweater
"When she wears THAT sweater, I'm powerless."
"Can someone link a pic of this type of sweater? Asking for a friend."
The Sleeve Roll Trick
"My boyfriend rolled up his sleeves kind of slowly the other day, and I felt like I couldn’t hear anything for like a solid minute, lollllll (laughing out loud)."
The Corniest Jokes
"This man will make the corniest joke in the whole world, and then his whole face lights up as he giggles at it. Gets me every time."
The Perfect Wine Pour
"We had our honeymoon in Italy and he noticed the waitstaff poured wine really beautifully, so he replicated it. Now I have him pour all my drinks for me."
"For some reason, the way his wrist moves when he pours really gets me going."
Specific Arm Movements
"When he's working on something mechanical and he starts getting serious, he'll flip his cap backward. It's an absent-minded thing and F**K is it sexy. And when he's working overhead, the way his arms flex. Watching him lift things into our attic is an instant turn-on. It's f**king weird, but godD**N does it do it for me."
"Also when I wear something sexy or low cut and he's not expecting it, he'll stutter if he's mid-sentence. We'll be talking from another room for instance, and I'll toss on a revealing shirt and walk in there and he'll lose his train of thought. Or shake his head like he needs to clear it. Your man making you feel sexy is the ultimate sexy move."
Love Language: Physical Touch
"It's the gentle physical touch in public. That little 'Love you' touch as they scurry away to do a thing. Those random touches turn me on so quickly."
Totally Saved It
"He fixed the shower in my truly horrible, low-rent grad school apartment and changed the oil on my car. Not sure why, but that just did things to me."
"If you were to ask my husband, self-deprecating humor would probably be his answer."
"On our first date, he and I went to see this stage production of 'Jekyll and Hyde.' At the bar, they were selling these cute little shots of Bailey's/Kahlua, with each liquor on separate sides of the glass. Me, being incredibly graceful in all things always, completely dumped the Bailey's half onto my blouse."
"His eyes got all big, not sure how to react, and I just sighed, turned to him, and reintroduced myself like, 'Hi, I'm (my name). This kind of thing happens a lot.'"
"He busted up laughing, I ordered a scotch, and we've been together for the past 11 years."
"Exist. My girlfriend could literally just stand there and I could and would get a chill down my spine."
While we were expecting these responses to be, well, weird, most of these were actually pretty cute or heartwarming.
Sometimes when it comes to relationships and intimacy, something can feel weird simply because it's unexpected, but maybe the unexpected moments are among the best parts of the relationship!